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#why is this always relevant rip
neverendingford · 2 months
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#tag talk#thinking about how I'm too loud too rough too much for so many people#there was a neighborhood yard that all the kids would go to jump on the trampoline and wrestle and I would accidentally hurt other kids#I was too unaware and too unrestrained and weirdly enough I kept on accidentally sinking my teeth into others (genuinely accident no lie)#and. idk. a lot of the scars on my body were deliberate but a lot were accidental. my hands and fingers are covered in slices#bigger ones from the hand saw. smaller ones from my knives. a permanent dent in my calf from a biking accident#I feel like I've always been just a little too much for people and I feel like some kind of animal that was never meant to be kept inside.#I'm sorry for biting too hard I was not created to be friends with something so delicate as you.#do I tag this as therian? I don't think so but now that I've typed it someone will find it in three months like they do with my tag talks.#I feel too much for even my own body. my skin too delicate for my own actions.#my dick is covered in scars where I've just ripped the skin from too much yanking. the joke is death grip but I'm two steps past that.#this is relevant because I accidentally made my gf sore af the other night because I used my strong hand not my dexterous hand#like.. sorry I hurt you I wasn't careful enough I didn't remember to turn myself down to sixty percent#I forget to turn my volume down I'll hurt you. I forget to turn my power down I'll crush you. I forget to turn my speed down I'll hit you.#spirit made for a stronger body. energy made for a larger society. hands made for tougher people. heart made for stronger friends.#I get too energetic and have to spread myself out to multiple people I mention this and they say “why don't I ever get to see you like that?#you get to see part of me. you think you see the entire god but you only see the finger reaching out to touch you.#I show too much and you burn. your face glows with the afteraffect of my radiance.#I open my mouth to breathe freely and you char from the flames I let out. I kiss you and your cheek singes from my heat.#how do I live in a world full of fine china shops when I am a bull?#a traveler washed up on the shore of a land full of people with chairs too tiny for me to sit on.
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bet-on-me-13 · 11 months
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Danny runs for Mayor
Simple Prompt: Danny runs for the Gotham Mayor position
Extended Prompt: Danny is an absolute little shit throughout his entire campaign but still manages to win because he is legitimately one of the best candidates around
Just imagine the crack that could come from this!
Reporter: What is your stance on Vigilantism? Danny: Well I agree that Vigilantes are helpful for the communities that need them, and they should work with the police at every opportunity, I feel like the idea will always be a city where Vigilantes are not needed. Also I fail to see the relevancy of the question, there are no vigilantes in Gotham Reporter: What do you mean? What about the Bat-Family? Danny: No, Batman isn’t a Vigilante. Batman is a Crime Lord.
Or
Danny: As mayor, I promise that I will not be infected by corruption. Not because of my moral standings, but because I absolutely fucking hate clowns and I will never accept a bribe as long as that guy is still alive. Yes this is me putting a hit out on the Joker. Crime Bosses, if you want to try and bribe me, you gotta kill him first or I won’t even consider it!
Or
Batman: Why is a Meta-Human running for Gotham Office? You know this city doesn’t have a very good track record with people like you. Even the Signal had a rough start. Danny: Well, I just had a strong compulsion to help this city reach the peak of it’s potential *looks over Batman’s shoulder to see Lady Gotham holding up Cue Cards telling him what to say. She promised to help with his paperwork for the next 50 years if he became Mayor and helped fix her city* Danny: Such a strong compulsion...
Or
Penguin: Look kid, I don’t care if you have enough power to destroy me at the subatomic level, I have enough money to ruin you, your sister, your parents, even your uncle! Danny: Oh really? I could get the souls of every person you have ever killed to get confessions out of them. Or I could give them the power to rip you apart. Or I could even just possess you and donate all your money to charity.
Or
Danny: Oh god dammit! Vlad: Hello Badger! Glad to see you followed in my footsteps instead of your fathers! Danny: This wasn’t because of you! Lady Gotham asked for help! Vlad: A WIN IS A WIN!
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rootbeerworshiper · 23 days
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just want to love you
matt sturniolo x fem!reader
combined two requests for this one @inlovewithmattstur
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no warnings just fluff!!
love, sienna <3
you and Matt have been together for a few months now, and to say things were going great would be an insufficient understatement. you’ve never had a boyfriend up until this point who understood you the way that Matt did.
there was always a sense of trust between the two of you and you could tell each other everything at all times, no matter how outlandish.
what most people don’t know is how much of a romantic he is in the best way. you never liked grand gestures or huge announcements of love—something your past boyfriends couldn’t comprehend.
but Matt always knew exactly how to show you just how loved you were, even in the most subtle ways.
like cleaning your bedroom when you’re school life becomes overwhelming, making sure to light your favourite candle when he’s completed the daunting task of doing your laundry. or simply just playing with your hair in a way that always made you woozy, you could never get over how gentle and comforting his touch is.
the two of you were utterly obsessed with each other, even if you struggled to understand why he was so infatuated with yourself, he would never let you forget it. ever.
you guys are stuck together by glue. always craving each other’s presence and feeling a slight pain in your heart when you can’t be together, like the glue ripping a piece of thin lined paper.
the one romantic gesture Matt wasn’t able to do was show the world how much he loved you. you never let yourself get hurt over it, he has six million girls who all wish they had you in the ways you had him, you understood that coming out with your relationship would be difficult.
you could see how much he struggled to not post you, this man took an insane amount of photos of you doing what you considered to be normal tasks—but that’s just how in love the boy is, he will forever try his best to get the camera lens to see your beauty in the way his own light blue rings can.
naturally, his two triplet brothers became your best friends and the four of you spent an insane amount of time together—just not in the public lens.
it felt as if you were some big secret that the world would simply be unable to comprehend and it was really hard not to focus on.
being careful when you go in public with your own boyfriend, making sure not to hold his hand or rest your head on his shoulder—it shouldn’t kill you as much as it does.
like a virus eating it’s way through each and every one of your organs, spending special time on your heart, ripping away at the arteries every time you see small acts of pda that you want for yourself.
it’s silly to be so upset over this, and the one person you’d normally go to is going through the same thing. it’s an impossible situation of course, and none of it will ever diminish your love for the boy, at this point your not sure most things can.
so here you are, at yet another night in with your three favourite people playing nothing other than monopoly while some random songs Chris insisted on playing are softly alluding noise in the background.
another relevant thing about your relationship with Matt is that the two of you can be a little competitive with one another, leaving Chris and Nick to watch while the two of you bicker over something you’ll forget about in half an hour.
“i wanna buy that one!” you chime in, buying yet another property while your boyfriends player resides in jail. “get fucked Matty boy, won’t be hard when your in prison”
the four of you all sit on the living room floor, the game board placed evenly between your group, Matt’s hand laying softly on your leg, his thumb tracing a line back and forth as you speak.
he rolls his eyes. if anyone has a sassy boyfriend, it’s you. “okay pipe down you have 5 properties and your acting like you’ve won” he remarks.
Chris giggles slightly, amused at his brother and his one of his best friends consist arguing, only to be followed by a more annoyed groin from the oldest brother, Nick. “if you guys do this for the whole game i am literally going to take this board game and smash my head with it before taking every single game piece and showing it in my eye sockets”
the two other boys immediately lose it, Matt covering his eyes as he does whenever he laughs “okay Nick thank you for your input i’ll be sure to take that into consideration” you say, smiling cheesily as the boys hand places a firmer pressure on you to stabilize himself from falling over.
you loved moments like this, where everything else felt completely irrelevant and you were able to sit and laugh with your favourite humans.
you lift your hand off of the rug below you and place it on the boys head, ruffling his hair and immediately making it messy. “okay lover boy it’s your turn”
the game continues on and soon enough the final two players are none other than you and Matt, the two most competitive in the group.
you sit across from one another now because he “wouldn’t wanna be too close to his opp” and you were fine with it, fully encapsulating the competitive mindset as you buy more and more property and take more and more of your boyfriends money out of the bank.
his brothers have fully lost interest in the game, the two of them mindlessly scrolling on their phones on the couch as you get closer and closer to beating the boy that resides across from you, his hope slowly draining from his face as he hands you another two hundred dollars.
this is until Nick finds a video on his phone that he eagerly shows Chris who’s sat next to him, the boys sharing the same concerned expression and looking to Matt while you continue to play, complete oblivious to your surroundings. “y/n” Chris speaks.
your hands move fast on the game board, moving your piece with full focus. you won. “hah! Matt i wonnnnn get fucked baby i’m the sugar momma in this relationship cmon” you goat, your smile fading when your excitement isn’t reciprocated by any of the boys. “you guys are looking at me like you saw a ghost”
“someone figured out your relationship with Matt” Chris blurts out, causing your head to snap in his direction, eyebrows furrowed.
“but we were so careful! is it possible to shut it down? i mean to them it’s just a rumour right?” the look on Nicks face tells you other wise as he hands you his phone.
you feel ill, like your stomach just dropped onto the game board in front of you. this can’t be real. there’s no way anyone can actually know anything right?
wrong. although they had no confirmation, the facts all complied together did not look good in the slightest.
clips from a couple vlogs you were apart of where Matt would look at you for just a little too long without you noticing, or you getting caught in the background of a random Larray video holding his hand—fully believing you were out of the cameras view.
there was also somehow fan pictures from your first official date with the boy, the two of you simply walking down the street, standing a little closer together than friends do.
you look to your boyfriend for an answer, for reassurance of any kind but his face tells you absolutely nothing.
“um we’re just gonna head over to my room let us know if you guys need anything” Nick says, standing up off the sofa and placing a reassuring hand of comfort on your shoulder as he walks past you, Chris following shortly behind.
there’s silence for a moment as the two of you navigate your thoughts, your eyes dead focused on the stupid monopoly board in front of you that now makes your victory minutes prior feel silly.
you decide to say something, unable to continue sitting in the thick, heavy uncomfortable silence that flows through the living room. “i’m sure we could deny it i mean they don’t actually have anything concrete we could-“
“y/n stop.” he pulls you in so you’re sitting next to the boy, backs leaned against the couch while his hands encapsulate your own. “i cant hide you anymore. not that i was very good at it to begin with” he chuckles but your still not there yet, a new influx of nervous thoughts entering your fast moving mind. “it’s been killing me to not let everyone know how special you are to me and honestly i think i’ll go insane if i have to avoid posting about you one more time”
he continues rambling, your too in shock to even comprehend the idea of speaking. “and i mean holding your hand in public? i cant even touch my beautiful girlfriend outside of my house without worrying that somehow we’ll get found out and honestly i’m sick of it. maybe this was what we needed, maybe-“
you cut him off with a kiss, your hands resting comfortably on the back of his head, pulling you impossibly closer to the boy who literally makes your heart ache. he kisses back for a moment, but as much as he loves kissing you, a conversation needs to be had that can’t take place with your lips on one another.
so he pulls back, immediately sensing the smile on your face and the way your cheeks are tinted with a light shade of flushed pink. maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing.
“i want to do whatever you want to do. you’ll probably face a lot of backlash that we won’t be able to fully control. i just want to love you” he speaks softly, keeping an eye contact with you that has you melting.
you could cry at the last sentence but you remain composed. “i would love nothing more than to love you. publicly that is, i do already love you”
he brings his hands to cup your face. “you are amazing. i could not have asked for a better person to go through this with”
“well i happen to think you’re pretty amazing too so i guess we’re even” he pulls you in for one more quick before you add in one last remark. “i did kick your ass at manopoly though”
a/n: wrote this so fast so hopefully you enjoy!! had lots of people asking for matt fluff and i tried my best to deliver🫡
taglist: @lolasnoww-blog @tastesousweet @ivypoison @disturbedwoodelf @sturnswift @junnniiieee07 @ellie-luvsfics @sturnified @s7urnfilms @madsdogst @justlivinglive @sluttycupsworld @flowerxbunnie @mbsbaby @sturniolossmut @lustfulslxt @69isabella69 @sturnioloslurps @dracoflaco @mattslatinagf @raekensluver ilyyyy
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mortalityplays · 1 year
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This is a very good illustration of the increasing susceptibility to conspiratorial thought patterns I've been seeing on the left lately. Just because you don't believe there are space marines on Mars doesn't mean you're immune to building imaginary connections between aesthetic or emotional data points and mistaking them for evidence. A lot of well meaning people in my circles have been sharing this story, buying uncritically into the first narrative they encountered. I want to break down why:
Jones' twitter thread was extremely emotional and extremely urgent. The idea of a child being ripped away from his frantic mother and a ticking clock to decide his fate both helped the story to bypass analytical scrutiny. It sends the message 'act now, before it's too late, it's the only compassionate thing to do'.
Her connection to an existing conspiracy (a concerted effort by the state to cover up Covid statistics) creates a strengthening association with the idea that this is also a conspiracy. The thread offers no positive evidence that her son's arrest was a conspiracy, and no positive evidence that his arrest has any connection to her prior experiences.
Jones' allegation that the arrest was retribution for her actions as a whistleblower implicitly identifies her in the reader's mind. A lot could be unpacked about her dispute with the DOH but it doesn't really matter because I don't think most people who circulated this story knew much about it either way. The point is that it anchors her identity in a few key concepts: 'whistleblower', 'covid scientist', 'concerned citizen'. None of these qualities are relevant to the events detailed in the thread (or evidenced in the thread, if we're being really rigorous), but they unconsciously prejudice the reader's assessment of whether to trust or side with her. Simply put, if you are concerned about how covid was handled and/or inclined to support whistleblowers, you are more likely to assume she's credible.
If you dislike and distrust cops, you are primed to accept a narrative in which they are doing something straightforwardly evil. Don't get me wrong, fuck 12, but I say that armed with an enormous preponderance of cases in which we have positive evidence of police acting out of self interest, cruelty, corruption, racism, misogyny, etc. Allowing ourselves to be seduced by the fantasy that they are always always without fail breaking rules and fashing it up in broad daylight only makes us easier to delude and manipulate.
She repeatedly made the point that her son is autistic. Again, if you are autistic or sympathetic to autistic people, you are more likely to be 'warmed up' by this detail and inclined to take her side. I'm not going to say it's irrelevant to the idea that he was being unfairly targeted, but it is overwhelmingly emotionally weighted. And again, it is not evidence that he was unfairly targeted. It's another weight on the scale that tips you to judge the truth value of her story without reality checking.
The example of a meme that she shared is characteristic of a type of online humour that is at least familiar to most of us. If you or your friends make edgy jokes and share tasteless irony memes, or if you've been online for more than like a week, you understand that they're mostly harmless. The idea that this meme could be used as evidence by law enforcement to detain you is ideologically threatening in an immediately relatable way. It evokes a reflex defensive impulse — that's not fair, the cops are wrong, the kid is innocent — bypassing the process of verification. Is this meme the reason he was arrested? Is it the only one he posted? Is it the only reason he was arrested?
All of these factors create a gut-led constellation of information that quickly forms a picture. Because it is being pieced together from multiple subconscious feelings and prejudices, it feels as if it has been evidenced. Because the thread was highly emotional and highly urgent, readers were pressured to jump to rapid conclusions and ask "what can I do to help?" (and the answer, as it almost always is, was 'donate money, quick').
I want to be really clear that I am not saying Jones manufactured any of these effects on purpose. It would be completely within reason that having a young child arrested would send anyone into an emotional tailspin, grasping for reasons this might have happened, leaping to his defense, rallying resources to fight on his behalf. I am not in any way ascribing malice to her actions.
What I'm interested in is the effect that this emotive kneejerk appeal had on people who were unknowingly predisposed to believe that the state of Florida would kidnap a child to punish a scientist for disagreeing with the department of health about covid statistics. That is a baseless conspiracy theory, and a huge number of people in my immediate circles reflexively amplified it.
Personally, I think arrest is a godawful way to respond to a child having a mental health crisis, even if they are seen to pose a violent threat. That still doesn't mean the cops did it at the bidding of a mad dictator in waiting. In the hypothetical parallel universe where it turns out Jones was right and this was all a conspiracy to punish her, it still would not have served the situation to jump to that conclusion on a gut feeling.
Pausing to identify relevant, verifiable facts before sharing a story like this is always warranted, even if you think the person telling it is 'on your side'. The more you worry that questioning the narrative wastes precious time or makes you a bad person, the more you should scrutinise why you are being made to feel that way. Accepting unfounded conspiracies into your worldview is not benign, even if you think the 'targets' deserve it. It erodes your critical perspective and turns you into a vector for the people around you.
tl;dr: you are not immune to baseless conspiratorial thought
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elyvorg · 2 months
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Kieran Part 2: It’s All About YOU
Well, looks like The Indigo Disk didn’t remotely drop the ball – it caught it in incredible style! Pokémon’s best character-writing job yet has been followed up and capped off with, if anything, something even better. Kieran is far and away the most complex and well-written character that mainline Pokémon has ever achieved, and I am here to talk about the second half of why this is, in very great detail. Consider me just, blown away. I have So Many Feelings about this boy.
This is of course a follow-up to my earlier analysis post about Kieran’s character and arc during The Teal Mask, which you can find here. Reading that before this is recommended!
(This will contain a couple of brief references to some post-epilogue lines, so if you haven’t got to that stuff yet and you really care about seeing it completely fresh, you might want to hold off on reading this for now. But there’s no actual spoilers for the epilogue itself in here, because, whoops, I think I’m gonna have to cover all of that in yet another post of its own.)
(Like last time, I will be largely referring to the player character as “you” for convenience, although I may shift into third person occasionally when I’m talking about the vague implications of a personality that they are given, since that’s a little more relevant this time.)
The gaping pit of inferiority
First, though, before getting into The Indigo Disk, I want to re-establish where Kieran’s character ended up at the end of Teal Mask, now that I have a clearer idea of exactly how that relates to where things are headed.
Kieran was always gripped by an aching inferiority complex, one too huge and unbearable for him to ever face directly. Prior to Teal Mask, he’d coped with that by clinging to the figure of the ogre as an ideal of strength. He imagined that maybe one day if he managed to grow strong enough to be just like it, the ogre would acknowledge him and be his friend – and that would finally mean that he mattered and he really was strong after all. He finally wouldn’t have to deal with the crushing pain of his inferiority complex any more.
But then, of course, you swept in with your amazingly perfect protagonist strength, ripping away Kieran’s chance of ever befriending Ogerpon and doing so in the most tragically agonising way possible that only seemed to validate and hammer home to him just how hopelessly weak he really is. Left with nothing but an even bigger gaping pit of inferiority inside him, and no longer able to cling to the idea of Ogerpon as a way for him to one day escape it, the only thing Kieran could do in order to cope was find something else to latch onto: you.
You became a greater ideal of strength to Kieran than even Ogerpon ever was during the events of Teal Mask, so now he’s hung everything on the thought of making himself strong enough to prove he’s just as good as you. If he can become strong enough to beat you, surely that of all things will be enough to prove that he matters and isn’t weak at all. It’s the only thing he can conceive of that might just free him from the grip of his terrifyingly massive inferiority complex, and he’s clinging onto it for dear life, striving for it to the point of obsession.
I saw a lot of people talk in the lead-up to this DLC like it was going to be about Kieran wanting revenge on you, but that’s not remotely it. He isn’t even able to comprehend the idea that anything you did to him could be considered wrong in the first place; that’s just how things were meant to go when you’re strong and he’s weak, right? Even though it was you who took everything away from him and made him feel so crushingly inferior, that pales in his mind next to how incredibly strong you are and how badly he needs to be like that himself. This isn’t even about him getting another shot at winning over Ogerpon, either – as much as you having become her trainer is a huge source of pain and jealousy for him, he seems to have pretty much accepted that there’s no changing that now.
What Kieran actually, consciously wants out of all this is…  well, it’s extremely vague and nebulous, but that’s precisely the point, because there is no rationality involved in any of it. What is he really hoping to gain from it, when (if) he beats you? For you to decide to be his friend after all? For him to instantly become happy and finally feel strong? For him to magically turn into you and have all the good things you have that he envies about you? Obviously none of those things would necessarily happen, but Kieran is not consciously thinking any of this through to its logical endpoint. He’s not actually hoping to get a specific Thing out of beating you – he just desperately, indescribably feels like he needs to beat you, more than anything else in the world.
What Kieran really needs out of this deep down is for you, this person he’s warped himself into idolising as the Strongest Most Perfect Person Ever, to acknowledge him and his strength. It’s just like he wanted Ogerpon to acknowledge him before, shifted onto a new target of idolisation and grown far more desperately obsessive. If you of all people acknowledged him, then just maybe it might actually be true that he really is strong and worth something after all. At its most fundamental level, Kieran has always just deeply needed to gain a sense of self-worth, and yet his self-esteem is so horribly low that he’s basically incapable of doing so on his own without outside validation. But I really don’t think he’s aware on a conscious level that this is what he needs and what he’s striving to get out of all this.
(And of course there’s no way you’d ever acknowledge him and his worth as a person anyway, right? He thought you’d maybe done that when you called him a friend back in Kitakami, but any fleeting hope of gaining self-worth that way evaporated when you went and lied to him, validating his fears that obviously you’d couldn’t possibly have meant it. After all, why would someone as strong as you ever want to be friends with someone weak like him? The only way you’d ever possibly acknowledge his worth is if he conclusively proved that he’s even stronger than you, by defeating you in battle.)
Blueberry Academy
The other thing I want to do before getting into the events of The Indigo Disk itself is to re-evaluate a few assumptions I made about Blueberry Academy in the previous post, now that we’ve actually seen it for ourselves.
I was assuming that a significant part of the reason for Kieran’s inferiority complex was due to him being bullied at Blueberry, but… there’s absolutely zero indication from any of the NPC dialogue that any such thing happened. If the writers wanted this to be a fact that was relevant to Kieran’s character, they absolutely would have put something in. However, in hindsight, I realise that maybe I was primed to assume a bullying problem at Blueberry due to the Team Star storyline, when actually, Kieran being bullied there doesn’t necessarily fit. His issues about being shunned and his paranoia that people are laughing at him behind his back are so ingrained that they have to have originated from quite a while ago in his childhood – and he’s only a first-year at Blueberry.
So, scratch that part of the previous post: Kieran was not bullied at Blueberry Academy, but he was almost certainly bullied earlier on in his childhood, at whatever school(s) he attended beforehand. It wouldn’t necessarily have needed to be a really overt, physical kind of bullying either – that’s the sort of thing that Carmine would certainly have noticed and protected him from. But even something more low-key like being constantly left out of things and looked down on by others would have left a huge psychological mark on him, and would have probably been too subtle for his socially oblivious sister to do much about. (Or, in some ways, she might just have made such things worse by being so fiercely overprotective of him. Most people wouldn’t want to go near the kid with the Scary Big Sister who’ll bite their head off if they so much as look at him wrong.)
Bullying aside, I was looking for any kind of clues at all from the NPCs as to what Kieran was like at Blueberry Academy before his big change… and there’s almost nothing. Plenty of people comment on Kieran now, because everyone knows who he is as the Champion, but nobody shows surprise that it was this timid kid who rose up and beat Drayton. It seems that as far as most of the students are concerned, he just came out of nowhere. But maybe that’s the point; maybe almost nobody ever even noticed him or thought anything of him at all until he grew stronger. By the time he joined Blueberry Academy, Kieran’s default coping mechanism must have been to make himself as small and invisible as possible, so that basically nobody even really thought twice about him.
Only two whole NPCs actually make any kind of reference to what Kieran was like before he became Champion. (Well, other than Carmine, of course, and also discounting Amarys because she’d have only known Kieran through her friendship with his sister.) One of them is Drayton, who’d noticed him as the incredibly shy kid who nonetheless lit up with joy more than anyone else when watching battles. And then there is one random NPC you can find in the Central Plaza who comments on how Kieran has turned into a completely different person. That’s it. Only two people happened to have noticed this timid kid enough to realise he’s the same guy who suddenly became Champion. (And, while they both seem at least a little concerned, neither of them appear to have outright considered Kieran a friend, because of course not. You really were the first friend he’d ever managed to make, until everything went horribly wrong.)
One thing I was expecting to get from the vibe at Blueberry that it absolutely did deliver, mind you, was the culture around battling. There’s all sorts of talk about battling and getting stronger, double battles as standard to make things more strategic, and even the random NPC trainers can actually be kind of challenging. So I was definitely right that this culture must have contributed to Kieran fixating on getting stronger and proving himself to you through gaining more battling strength in particular. One NPC near the entrance also remarks that “you don’t look strong”, as if people here assume battling strength to be correlated with physical appearance, which… yeah, that explains a bit about why Kieran felt he needed to look different alongside becoming stronger in battle, doesn’t it.
Changing himself
Of course, Kieran’s reasons for changing up his appearance go much deeper than just wanting to superficially “look stronger”. In order to achieve the nigh-impossible feat of managing to match you in strength, he felt like he had to become nothing short of a completely different person. He can’t be anything like that timid, weak, pathetic kid from Kitakami who got walked all over, because there’s no way that kid would ever, ever be able to beat you.
Which means that absolutely everything about who he used to be needed to get thrown away. That hairstyle that practically covered his face and let him hide himself behind it? Gone. His country accent and way of talking due to being raised in Kitakami? That always made him feel different and outcast among the students at Blueberry already, but more than that, it’s a distinctive feature of that kid he used to be and cannot be any more, so he had to cast it away and learn to mask it. Even the unambiguously good parts of him – the way he’d always get so excited and passionate over things he finds cool! – they’re a part of his old self, so they had to go, no exceptions. Far be it from him to ever say “wowzers” any more, for more than one reason. His old hairstyle may have been the one that visually resembled a mask, but now he’s putting on much more of a metaphorical mask than he ever was before. (Putting on a mask to become stronger and hide his reasons to be cast out and shunned – a bit like a certain ogre.)
(And since Kieran’s just on the cusp of puberty, I find it fun to imagine that maybe his voice happened to start breaking in the interim between the two DLCs, so that he doesn’t just talk differently and mask his accent, his voice literally sounds different now compared to how it did before.)
Unfortunately for Kieran, no amount of fervently doing everything in his power to change and grow stronger can make his growth spurt come any sooner. It seems it hasn’t happened quite yet, leaving him awkwardly still the smallest person in the room even as he is trying to project an air of being Strong and Tough now. He gets around this as best he can by adopting a mannerism of taking a step back from people, to give him less of an angle to look up at, and tilting his head far enough back that he can kinda sorta still be looking down on them, in a sense. He is so desperate to not feel small any more.
(Fittingly – or ironically, perhaps – you are the one relevant person who is the same height as Kieran and can face him eye-to-eye. That’s bound to be feeding into his complex about you: all the other people he looked up to and saw as stronger than him were older than him and so they had a good reason to be that strong – but you and he are the same age. You should be his equal, and yet you can already do and have all these things that he could only dream of.)
And his timid demeanour isn’t the only thing from before that Kieran cast away – he also got rid of almost his entire team of Pokémon from those battles back in Kitakami. Nearly all of them went the same way as poor Furret and Cramorant before them, because they weren’t strong enough to win him that vital battle that would definitely have decided who got to become Ogerpon’s partner (right?), so there’s no way they’d ever be able to help him beat you now. The only exception to this is Dipplin, perhaps precisely because Kieran knew it was capable of evolving again and so still had more strength it had yet to show him. The rest of his team got completely overhauled, no doubt informed by his fervent studies in battling strategies to let him put together the strongest and most optimal team he could come up with.
I nearly had a whole spiel here about how excruciating it is that his new team has a Politoed, in that he could almost have kept another of his old partners from his Kitakami team if he hadn’t hastily evolved Poliwhirl into the less strategically-optimal evolution as part of his efforts to prove himself to you during Teal Mask. Except, actually, a postgame line implies that Kieran’s Politoed is also a longtime partner of his, along with his Poliwrath, like they’re a pair. So it’s not that he went and caught a “replacement” Poliwag that he was less attached to – apparently he always had two Poliwag friends from the start and just only ever trained up one of them to use against you in Teal Mask. Then, when that one had failed to be good enough for him, it was the other one’s turn to prove how strong it could really be.
As for his other new team members: Porygon-Z and Incineroar are both available in the Terarium, but Grimmsnarl is only available, to Kieran at least, in Kitakami. So that must be another one he’d caught during the school trip, maybe a candidate he’d considered training up back then but never quite had the time to alongside the rest of his team. And then there’s Dragonite, which is an interesting one, because the Dratini line is nowhere in either Kitakami or the Terarium – meaning, Kieran must have gone out of his way to trade for it in order to get one. Perhaps he was really impressed by the strength of Drayton’s Dragonite and wanted one of his own to match that? (but his has a very different build to Drayton’s, so it’s fine, he’s definitely not just copying Drayton in order to win, okay.) I like to think that maybe he got it from Carmine, who’d apparently been visiting loads of other regions with Briar during Kieran’s obsessive training arc and therefore could have been in a position to catch a Dratini.
More importantly than just catching these new Pokémon, though, would have been training them, which Kieran threw himself into so obsessively that it and studying battling strategies now consume every single moment he has, to a concerningly unhealthy degree. He’s cutting back on sleep, barely eating proper meals, because spending any more time than necessary on even things like basic physical needs is not acceptable to him. You are so overwhelmingly, impossibly strong in his mind that, in order to match your strength, Kieran feels like he has to give everything, no matter the cost to himself.
Being Champion
And, well, his fervent desperate self-destructive training did indeed make him strong enough to become Champion of the BB League. It’s only a stepping stone, a means to an end for his ultimate goal of being strong enough to beat you – but it’s something. As Champion, Kieran’s known to everyone in the school, getting awed murmurs wherever he shows up. People respect him now, because he’s proven that he's strong. (The very converse of how everyone ignored and shunned him back when he was weak. That’s how it goes, right?) And on top of that, he’s earned himself a position of authority over everyone in the League Club.
…Frankly, it’s a very stupid rule the club has to make the Champion be automatically in charge of the whole thing, precisely because of situations like this, in which the trainer who happens to be strongest also happens to be someone nobody else wants bossing them around. But thanks to that stupid rule existing, Kieran’s in charge now, and everyone else has to do what he says whether they like it or not, because he’s the strongest of all of them. Way to validate and perpetuate Kieran’s toxic worldview that having strength (battling strength) means you get to call the shots and walk all over anybody who’s weaker than you, and that’s just how things work.
Our first glimpse of how drastically Kieran’s changed, the interaction we see him having with that one poor club member, is bound to be the epitome of how he’s been treating everyone in the club these days. And he is not simply being a dick for the hell of it just because he can now and he’s turned Edgy or whatever – everything about his behaviour here is agonisingly rooted in his own deeply ingrained worldview about strength and weakness.
It's so tragically telling how he phrases his scathing disapproval of the poor guy as, “So that means you’re just OK being this weak forever? That what I’m hearing?” That’s not at all what the guy was saying, but Kieran hears it that way because he can’t help but see his own former, weaker self everywhere he looks. At the end of Teal Mask, he was trapped in that horrible pit of feeling like there was nothing he could do except be this weak forever, unless he devoted himself obsessively to becoming stronger and stronger and stronger with everything he had. Any tiny sign of weakness in anybody else reminds him of that place, reminds him that the only reason he’s not trapped there himself right now is because he’s spending every waking moment trying to claw his way out.
The guy’s reason for not completing Kieran’s training assignment wasn’t even that he didn’t want to do it. He said he’d had hectic stuff going on at home that meant he didn’t have time, which ought to be a perfectly reasonable excuse! But… not to Kieran, it isn’t. Kieran has sacrificed everything to become as strong as he is, even basic physical self-care; he would have chosen training over busy home-life stuff in a heartbeat. Anyone who isn’t willing to do the same, anyone to whom growing stronger isn’t the most important thing in the world – they’re not good enough. They must obviously just want to stay weak forever, like Kieran himself absolutely could not bear to be. So he kicks the poor guy out of the club, thus dooming him, in Kieran’s view, to really being stuck this weak forever with no chance to improve.
It's bound to be just like this for everyone else in the club, too, based on plenty of comments we hear about how Kieran becoming Champion has taken the fun out of everything, and the ridiculously strict rules he’s apparently put in place. He’s projecting his own unhealthily high standards of strength onto everyone else, then shunning them if they don’t manage to live up to that, because that’s just what happens to people who are weak, right? It is agonising to watch Kieran perpetuating the exact same toxicity that he used to always feel like he was on the receiving end of, especially as that isn’t even really why he was ever treated that way.
None of this is the behaviour of someone who is even remotely secure and confident in their strength. Despite being Champion and having the respect of the entire school, Kieran is still constantly terrified that even the slightest thing, even so much as allowing a tiny instance of “weakness” in anyone associated with him, will cause all of the strength he’s worked so hard to build to come crashing down in an instant. (One detail I really love about the scene where he’s telling that one guy off is the way Kieran’s tapping his foot at the beginning. He probably means it as a way to express impatience, but really it comes across as incredibly anxious and insecure. The animators did some excellent stuff with Kieran in this DLC.)
And what’s extra heartbreaking is that Kieran doesn’t need to be doing any of this. He’s the Champion now; he is undeniably strong; he’s able to talk to others; people notice and respect him. He is already in a position to reach out and grasp everything he’s ever wanted: acknowledgement, friendship, fun. He used to love battling – he’s supposed to love battling – so he could be having a great time with all this! If he just dropped this toxic mindset and stopped letting it turn him into a massive jerk, he could make friends with the Elite Four and others in the League Club and not be alone any more!
But he’s not able to see any of that. None of the things he’s already genuinely gained for himself truly feel like they matter, not when they’re all just a means to an end for the one thing that does – proving he can beat you. By desperately hanging his entire self-worth on the idea of becoming strong enough to measure up to you and nobody else, Kieran has blinded himself to the fact that he’s already found a good amount of what he’d always truly wanted in the first place. And it also means that, if he can’t beat you when that day comes, everything he’s done will be for nothing.
Drayton and Carmine
But although nobody is happy with the way things are now (least of all Kieran himself), it seems only a couple of people have been willing to question Kieran’s “authority” enough to try and talk him out of this.
One of them is Drayton, who’s doing this not just out of wanting his club to go back to normal, but also because he’s the almost-only person to have noticed the timid yet battle-loving kid Kieran used to be, and he genuinely wants to help Kieran remember how to have fun like that again. Unfortunately, it seems that any of Drayton’s attempts to tell him this bounced right off Kieran, because fun and excitement were a part of that weak kid he used to be and absolutely cannot be any more.
Plus, with his newfound authority and validation of his toxic worldview, Kieran would easily be able to brush off anything Drayton said to him with the excuse that he doesn’t have to listen to someone who can’t beat him. He actually mentions at one point that Drayton “always loses” to him, implying they’ve battled more than once. Apparently, in an attempt to get Kieran to listen, Drayton actually went and challenged him to a rematch at some point, or maybe even several – a remarkable amount of effort, coming from Drayton – but he still couldn’t win.
(Kieran is bound to be super jealous of the way Drayton appears so effortless in his strength, when Kieran himself had to train and strive so hard to reach this level. But on the flip side, now that Kieran is the stronger one, he can use Drayton’s laziness as another way to paint himself as superior. Obviously the reason Drayton keeps losing to him is because he doesn’t train nearly as hard as Kieran does.)
It also doesn’t help that Drayton’s attitude towards Kieran when he’s not specifically trying to encourage him to have fun again is very sarcastic and condescending, drawing from his deep frustration at Kieran’s attitude. It must be very easy for Kieran to completely overlook the part where Drayton is actually doing this because he cares – he probably feels that Drayton just hates him and wants him gone. (Just like everyone who’d always shun him and treat him like an outcast before, right.)
Then there’s Carmine, who’s been incredibly worried about the change in her brother and is bound to have done her fair share of trying to talk him out of this too, evidently also to no effect. It’s certainly easy for Kieran to remain oblivious to the fact that she’s doing this because she cares about him and isn’t just trying to bring him down, since she has, uh, historically not been very good at showing that.
It seems that Kieran has largely been avoiding Carmine since he overhauled everything about himself. No doubt a lot of that is because, what with her being part of the reason for his inferiority complex in the first place, she’s capable of triggering his insecurities more intensely than anybody else can. But maybe it’s also partly because on some level, he’s aware that she’s got a point now with the things she’s trying to say to him, and that makes him feel bad, and have doubts that he can’t afford to be having. Carmine’s certainly right to be concerned that his behaviour now would be driving any friends of his away – although she is almost definitely wildly wrong to be assuming Kieran even had any friends other than you before all of this.
(For that matter, she’s very wrong to assume that you are still his friend right now in a totally normal way; ha ha ha. But then, based on your options of “yes” and “yes” when Drayton asks you if you're Kieran's friend, it seems that you – the player character – are also somehow completely oblivious to the fact that Kieran just maybe might not consider you a friend any more on his end. Which just makes this whole thing even more excruciating.)
The dynamic between the siblings during the one brief time we see them interact here has notably changed, in that Kieran is finally able to stand up for himself more, telling Carmine to shut up when she tells him off. And yet, he doesn’t do so very forcefully, averting his gaze in a way that suggests he just sort of mumbles it. He probably realises she has a point about what she was saying – that he shouldn’t act so condescending towards you. Which on Carmine’s end, she said because she doesn’t want him to drive away the one friend he still (supposedly) has, but that’s not how it’d read on Kieran’s end, because he doesn’t believe you ever were his friend at all. He must have felt like his sister has a point only because he doesn’t have the right to act that way towards you, not when he still hasn’t proven himself to you yet (and maybe never will).
Unexpected reunion
See, there’s a lot of interesting stuff going on under the surface of Kieran’s reaction to suddenly meeting you here. Literally everything he’s been doing this entire time has been for the sole purpose of defeating you when he sees you again. Which means that you showing up and challenging the BB League should be exactly what he wants and has always been waiting for. And yet.
The first notable thing is that he had nothing to do with inviting you here – the person responsible for that was Carmine. She probably figured that you’d be able to help her brother out, so she recommended you to the director when she heard he was looking for an exchange student to invite from Paldea. As Champion of the school, Kieran should also have had enough influence to make such a recommendation – but he didn’t.
Then, when Kieran comes to the cafeteria, he has plenty of condescending things to say to Drayton (about how taking a lunch break is a waste of time, because who needs to bother with basic physical needs like eating when they could be training instead, right). But the moment he sees you, he’s just shocked at you even being here… and then he’s very quiet for the entire rest of the conversation.
Drayton puts things to a vote among the Elites plus Kieran as to whether you should be allowed to join the BB League, and – despite that this should be exactly what he wants – Kieran is the last to vote. He only does so when he’s forced to break the tie.
(Although, it’s revealing in a different way that the Elite Four all ask each other for their opinions first, with none of them naturally thinking to consult Kieran. Despite his newfound strength and authority, he is still socially excluded – but this time he really has nobody but himself to blame.)
Kieran’s wording of how he casts his vote is so very telling. Just: “It doesn’t matter who I’m facing… I don’t lose.” – and he says nothing else before leaving in a huff. He words this in a generalised way, as if this an overarching principle of his that has nothing to do with you in particular, even though it’s always been about you. Because if he let himself think about how you in particular will be his opponent, then suddenly the statement that he doesn’t lose doesn’t feel so certain. But, put on the spot like this, he cannot show any sign that he’s afraid he might lose to you – that would be like giving up and accepting that all the effort he’s put in for all this time has been for nothing. So he has no choice but to let you join.
(Drayton totally knew he would refuse to lose face like this if put on the spot, of course, and that the Elites would vote 2-2 between them and leave Kieran with the deciding vote, which is precisely why he set things up this way. Kieran’s not unaware of this, either.)
There’s a brief interim here as you head to the front desk to officially sign up for the League. This gives Kieran a moment alone to process the fact that, welp, this really is happening, you’re really here, and, isn’t this supposed to be exactly what he always wanted? Hasn’t everything always been so that he can beat you this time? He manages to twist things around in his head, convince himself that yes, this is it, the chance he’s been waiting for, and he will win when it comes down to it, he will, because that’s what it’s all been for.
As such, when he shows up at the front desk to confirm that he’s allowing you to join, Kieran is able to be a lot more direct about you challenging him than he was in his one whole sentence on the topic in the cafeteria. Even then, he makes a comment to Drayton about how he feels like he was manipulated into this… then immediately insists that he’s fine with it because this is what he wanted anyway. If it was truly 100% what he wanted, he wouldn’t have felt manipulated!
To sum all of this up: it is abundantly, delightfully clear beneath the surface that Kieran does not actually feel ready to face you. He would never have felt ready for this, no matter how long he’d spent training and pushing himself, because your impossible unreachable strength and his own inherent worthlessness are both so deeply ingrained in his mind that he is incapable of truly believing he can match you.
But, well, here you are, and now Drayton’s trapped Kieran in this situation where he has no choice but to keep up the mask of strength and confidence he’s been putting on all this time. So he’s got to act like he’s fine with you challenging him, whether he truly feels ready or not.
Your Elite Four challenge
As you work your way through the Elite Four’s ranks to earn the right to challenge him, Kieran is very insistent that you’d better not dare lose to anybody else before facing him, or to have gotten weaker in any way since he last met you.
You might think that Kieran would be glad if you actually did lose to one of the Elite Four and never manage to make it to him, because, hey, that means he’s already stronger than you! He doesn’t even have to worry about whether he can win his battle against you! But… no, that wouldn’t be how it’s supposed to go. The way Kieran’s been building things up in his head the entire time, his whole life is supposed to magically somehow get better when he beats you. He needs to prove himself and his new strength to you, specifically. It wouldn’t mean anything if someone else beat you first, or if you’re somehow not actually still the impossibly strong person he’s idolised and fixated so hard on becoming equal to. That’d just be the most crushing anticlimax for him, in which he never gets to achieve what he’s been striving so hard for, and in which he’d have to somehow come to terms with the fact that… he’s already stronger than you, and yet he still doesn’t feel better or any less agonisingly inferior than he always did? If that happened, he’d be at a complete loss as to any other way to escape how he feels about himself.
But, fortunately for him (for some value of “fortunate”), you of course still are just as strong as you always were. On hearing you assure him of this, and also on seeing it for himself as he watches one of your Elite Four battles, Kieran gives this awful twisted grin that does not even slightly reach his eyes (because he has completely forgotten how to genuinely smile and no doubt hasn’t ever done so this entire time). Yes, he will still get to have his long-anticipated showdown with you, and winning that will still somehow magically definitely fix everything that was ever wrong in his life. Definitely.
There’s also the part where, because you come with such glowing recommendations, you get to skip working your way up the BB League from the very bottom and can start right at challenging the Elite Four. Kieran has to feel all kinds of ways about this – on the one hand, he’d tell himself he’s glad because this means he has less time to wait until the battle that he’s definitely totally ready for, and he knows full well that you wouldn’t need to waste your time on small fry at the bottom. But on the other hand… he had to painstakingly work his way all the way up from zero in order to get where he is, so it sure is something that you’re so special that you just get to skip doing that. (And if you did have to start at the bottom, then it’d give him more time to train himself, just to make absolutely sure that he really is ready to face you…)
When you’ve beaten the final Elite, Kieran shows up again and scoffs that this was kind of slow for you, wasn’t it? I believe this isn’t just posturing and was his genuine reaction – you’re so impossibly perfect in his mind that he can’t even comprehend the idea that you wouldn’t breeze through this effortlessly without a single hitch. But still, at least he can turn the fact that you fell short of his impossible expectations into condescension that helps him feel above you and definitely capable of beating you. (How long did it take him to beat the Elite Four, I wonder? Probably longer than you – but of course he’s not gonna bring that up.)
Drayton, meanwhile, has now picked up on the fact that Kieran isn’t just obsessed with winning like he’d initially thought – he’s obsessed with you. Maybe he’d have approached things a little differently if he’d been aware in the beginning that you were a lot more to Kieran than just an old friend. But, welp, bit too late to back out of what he’s set up now, whoops.
And on Kieran’s end, he hasn’t let go of the feeling of being manipulated into this, and now feels like you and Drayton are plotting against him. This poor kid’s paranoia and tendency to assume people are laughing at him behind his back has still not gone away, even if it’s taken on a slightly different form now. It’s probably a good thing he doesn’t ever learn that Carmine was the one who called you here, or he’d think she was in on this supposed conspiracy too.
(But, hey, while Kieran could never do anything about it before whenever he was ganged up on and shunned by others, at least now he’s finally strong enough to fight back and hold his own, despite being outnumbered, right? Just like the ogre did.)
THE BATTLE
So now, it’s finally time: the battle that Kieran has absolutely everything riding on. Of course I’ve already made it abundantly clear here that every single thing he’s done has been for the sole goal of beating you right here and now – but it says a lot that he spends his pre-battle speech making sure you know this. He probably feels like you’re such an amazing superstar trainer that challenging someone for their Champion title is basically just another Tuesday for you, like this is nothing on your end – but this battle is everything for him, everything that he’s been spending every single moment of every single day building up towards for all this time, and he needs you to acknowledge this.
And as if that wasn’t enough, as the battle opens, Kieran screams into the sky with the sheer uncontainable emotion of how much this means to him. Everything he’s been feeling, bottling up, clinging to for so long is spilling out of him now that he’s finally here in this one pivotal moment he’s always been waiting for.
It comes spilling out in a lot more than just that scream, too; he has so many things to say throughout the battle as it all reaches fever pitch inside him. While some of his in-battle dialogue during his Teal Mask fights had fun hints at his issues in there, this one battle here absolutely takes the cake. This is quite possibly the most dialogue in any battle in any Pokémon game, and all of it has something interesting and nuanced going on that’s rooted in Kieran’s massive issues. I cannot resist taking this opportunity to talk about every single bit of it.
His first line as the battle begins is, “I know I’m making the right choice… You’ll understand that soon enough!”, which seems kind of odd on the surface. What “choice” is he even talking about that he feels the need to justify? Accepting a challenge to his Champion position is just what Champions are meant to do. But that’s not what Kieran’s thinking about here – he’s thinking about all of those times that Drayton and Carmine tried to talk him down from the entire way he was acting and pushing himself too hard. Every time they did, he insisted to himself that no, training this insanely hard is the right choice, he needs to do this, and it’ll all be worth it when he beats you. …Somehow. Definitely. You’ll see, you will, you have to…!
On the very first hit he lands on you – it doesn’t even need to be super-effective, any damaging hit will trigger it – he says, “How do you like that? See how hard I’ve trained? Not like that kid you battled in Kitakami, huh?!” In reality, the hit he lands here isn’t necessarily any bigger than the kinds of hits he dealt to you back in Kitakami – but it feels bigger to Kieran. He’s trained so hard that he feels so much stronger and so different from the kid he was back then, and he needs you to see and acknowledge this too.
Meanwhile, your first super-effective attack you land on him manages to pierce through his mask for a moment and get a “wowzers” out of him. It’s not actually any more impressive than any other super-effective hit he might receive from any other trainer – but because it’s coming from you, it feels so much more incredible, triggering his instinctive irrational idolisation of you just for a moment before he collects himself and puts his mask back up.
Then he insists that he’ll still win anyway, even if “the type matchups work out for you”. Which… isn’t how type matchups in battles work? Sure, you landed one super-effective hit, either because one of your Pokémon happened to have a good matchup, or you just had a good coverage move. That doesn’t mean that all of the type matchups in the battle are inherently in your favour. But Kieran apparently feels like they are – because, when it comes to him versus you, he always feels like everything in the world is on your side and he has to claw and grasp to regain the tiniest bit of ground against his inherent overwhelming disadvantage.
Speaking of everything being on your side, when you land your first critical hit on him (and I say “when” here because this battle is long enough that statistically you’re extremely unlikely not to at some point!), his response is delightful, raging that “even luck’s chosen you over me!” and that it’s “not fair!!!” All of his bitterness and jealousy about Ogerpon choosing you over him is still raw, evidently, so even something like you getting a statistically near-inevitable critical hit feels to him like luck itself taking your side against him, because everything always does. And on some level, he may have realised that you befriending Ogerpon was partly due to the sheer luck of you happening to meet her while he wasn’t around, so of course he’s bitter about luck because of that, too. It’s not fair, how you always get everything, so effortlessly, while he has nothing.
(He doesn’t comment at all if and when he lands a critical hit, because of course not. Confirmation bias is one hell of a drug.)
And of course, you bringing out Ogerpon herself gets an extremely strong reaction from Kieran. “You’ve got some nerve,” he snarls among broken mirthless laughter, to bring her out “NOW of all times?!” This, right here and now, was supposed to be his moment, his time to finally shine and show you how strong he is and take the victory. And yet you’re choosing this moment to parade Ogerpon in front of him, a reminder of the painful losses and inferiority he suffered back in Kitakami that he’s tried so hard to forget and overcome by making himself stronger, just rubbing it in his face that you got to have her because you’re so strong and lucky and perfect.
His expression during this line is one hell of a thing as well: shocked and wide-eyed and practically terrified, in stark contrast to all of his other expressions in this fight. He’s not only reeling from the pain of having his inferiority from back then shoved in his face, but also, he’s always believed that Ogerpon is so incredibly strong. If you’re using her against him in this battle, you and her working together… how is he ever going to be able to defeat that combination of impossible strength…?
(Apparently, Kieran’s trainer AI actually has a modification in this fight that makes him prioritise attacking Ogerpon more than an AI trainer otherwise would, which is delightful, I love that that’s a thing devs programmed in there. Of course he’d desperately want to get Ogerpon off the field as fast as he could before she utterly destroys him.)
As his back’s against the wall and he’s sending out his final Pokémon, Kieran’s still raging, with increasing desperation: “Just go down already! How are you still standing after I’ve thrown everything I have at you?!” This battle is not at all going how he’d insistently imagined it would in his head, in which he’d prove himself and win, not even though he’s giving it absolutely everything he has. (And the thought that you still won’t go down even then is terrifying to him. He really has given everything to this, he couldn’t possibly have done more – and yet, what if that still isn’t enough to beat you? That’d mean it’s just impossible for him, no matter what he does, and he’d have absolutely no idea how to cope with that.)
Just before he Terastallises his Hydrapple, he insists that he “doesn’t need the old me”, that he’s changed – here’s the way he felt he had no choice but to throw away everything about his former weaker self in order to get stronger, even the positive parts. But then he adds, “and I’ll show you I can change again!” He’s not just literally referring to the Terastallisation he’s about to do (although it’s thematically fitting that he brings up this topic as he’s doing this – and his Hydrapple’s Fighting Tera-type is a neat link to him having changed himself into being obsessed with strength) – rather, he’s referring to what he’s convinced himself will happen when (if) he wins this fight. That’ll change everything for him, right? That’ll make everything good, finally; he’s going to change for the better once he wins this, he has to…!
And then… Kieran’s animation while he’s Terastallising is an odd one. He’s remarkably expressionless about it, compared to the intensity of his expressions in the entire rest of the fight. But I think the reason for this must be: most trainers wince with the force of it as they begin charging their Tera Orb – and apparently, Kieran doesn’t want to be seen doing that, because that’d make him seem weak. So he’s trained himself to put on an expressionless mask, not even looking at the orb directly, to avoid that. (And one of the few trainers who doesn’t wince, who’s able to stare directly at the dazzling power coming from their Tera Orb without flinching, holding it up for all to see… it’s you, of course. Kieran almost certainly saw this from you a few times back in Kitakami.)
His last possible line in the fight, as he orders an attack from his Hydrapple, at which point he is guaranteed to have only one or two Pokémon left and be desperately fighting to hold on with his back against the wall, includes him saying, “I’m capable of winning too, you know!” Because that is definitely a very normal thing for a reigning Champion to need to say to their challenger. Even with all the victories he’s had on his way here, Kieran still has to fight to convince himself that he is capable of winning, because being up against you and teetering on the brink of defeat like this just reminds him of all his previous agonising losses at your hands, his inferiority complex rising up to overwhelm him with the feeling that he’ll never be able to be strong or win anything at all.
(And, hey… what if he had actually managed to win? Tragically, the game does not let you see any of his reaction if you do happen to lose to him; it just rewinds time like it never happened. But there’s no way that Kieran beating you here would truly have helped or fixed anything about that massive inferiority complex of his. He’d ride the high for a bit, but then he’d go back to the same condescending façade he’d had before and gradually realise that… he doesn’t actually feel any better about himself beneath it like he was supposed to once this happened. Funnily enough, beating you in a Pokémon battle would not have magically turned him into you.)
Everything falls apart
But, of course, because the game refuses to let you not be the Perfect Protagonist (or, perhaps, because the narrative needs to go this way in order for him to actually get better in the long run), Kieran loses. The last time he lost a pivotal battle against you that he’d told himself everything depended on, back in Kitakami, he crumpled immediately in defeat – but this time, his reaction’s a lot more drawn out. Back then, the conviction that he could never ever beat you was right there at the surface to the point that he was basically expecting to lose despite his determination. But here, he’s spent so long insisting to himself over and over that he will win this time, he will, convincing himself that things just have to go that way… that it takes him a moment to even process the fact that they haven’t. He’s just shocked, lost, dumbfounded, not knowing how to react, because this wasn’t supposed to happen…!
But then the spectators around him mutter and begin to leave, apparently because he lost, because he’s no good after all and so there’s no point staying to watch him, and this seems to be what agonisingly drives home the reality to Kieran. All the respect and esteem he’d managed to grasp for himself – in this one awful moment it feels like all of it is crumbling away before his eyes. All of his effort to get here (so much effort) was worthless, all because he couldn’t beat you. He’s gone right back down to being nothing. I adore the blurry effects in the cutscene as Kieran sways and staggers and collapses, giving a visceral sense that the shock of this is hitting him so deep that it's rendered him physically light-headed and dizzy. Guh, this poor kid.
And then Drayton has to come along and rub it in. Kieran winces in agony as he gets smugly called “ex-Champion” – though he was never doing any of this for the Champion title itself, having it meant something and made him matter, and now that’s gone like it was never there at all. It’s bound to sting especially hard coming from Drayton, whom Kieran believed was plotting with you to take him down, take away everything he had, and now that’s exactly what’s happened, because he wasn’t strong enough to stand up for himself after all.
…The fact that Drayton felt the need to be a smug bitch about this first and foremost does not remotely help Kieran actually listen to and internalise the genuinely good advice Drayton gives just a few moments later. He really was doing this because he cares, and because Kieran ought to go back to having fun with things! But of course Kieran isn’t in any state to listen to that, not after all his paranoia about Drayton manipulating him, and then Drayton rubbing his loss in on top of that; he still has no idea that the guy genuinely wants to help him. (Unfortunately, while Drayton cares about the person Kieran should be, he has been deeply frustrated by the person Kieran is being, and that comes out in sarcasm and smuggery first, hence why this completely bombs.)
So instead of taking on board Drayton’s advice, which he probably wasn’t even listening to, Kieran just starts desperately, incoherently mumbling about how he’ll win next time. It’s the only thing he can cling to – the same thing he always has, to escape the all-consuming, unbearable thought of just being achingly inferior forever and ever with no way out. He still can’t see any other way out that isn’t beating you. (But… how is he ever going to win next time, when he’s already given it absolutely everything he had and still couldn’t manage it…?)
Seeing him being so clearly Not Okay, you approach him and (probably) attempt to say something to him, but it seems like even if you try, you barely get any words out before Kieran just shuts down even more. He reacts with slumping, and with an “Aw, man…” – the same words and body language he’d often have back in Teal Mask whenever something (usually his sister) would push back at him and make him feel small. Now that he can no longer cling to his façade that he totally is stronger than you and just hasn’t proven it yet, he’s reverted right back to the state of mind he was always in back then. And it’s you in particular that triggers his inferiority complex harder than anything else right now, even if you just silently approach him, or say a few words that certainly wouldn’t have been anything cruel.
It's a bit of a shame that the game doesn’t actually let us see what you try to say to him, assuming you do. But it most certainly couldn’t have been anything along the lines of “You put up a really tough fight!”, because that kind of thing – acknowledging Kieran’s strength, even though he lost – is exactly what he’d need to hear right now, and he’s clearly not hearing it. Whatever it was you did say, he probably barely even heard it beneath his crushing sense of inferiority at being near you, and you probably trailed off pretty quickly upon seeing his reaction.
(In fact, it might say a lot that your dialogue options here are so non-specific that they’re literally just “Say something/nothing”. This suggests that the player character has no idea what to say to Kieran at seeing him in this absolute state, and they can only choose to either accept that and remain silent, or to fumble for something to try and say anyway. I believe it’s pretty important to “your” role in Kieran’s arc that the player character is extremely socially awkward and just finds themselves utterly lost as to how to deal with him breaking down like this because of them. Someone with better social intelligence would be able to say the right thing here to help him at least begin to feel better! But that someone is emphatically not you, it seems. This apparent social obliviousness also tracks with the fact that you – the player character – agreed with Carmine’s very short-sighted decision to lie to Kieran back in Kitakami, thus unwittingly setting off this whole domino effect of his issues in the first place.)
Sudden legendary hunt
If Kieran had had longer to process his defeat, maybe he’d have realised that there really is no way he can “win next time” when he already gave it his absolute all this time, and he might have begun to approach the fact that there’s nothing he can do but let things go. However, while he’s still reeling, he almost immediately gets dragged into the meeting with Briar about her expedition to Area Zero.
Kieran looks like he’s barely even listening to the conversation at first, just staring miserably into space in front of him, no doubt stuck endlessly thinking how can I ever be stronger than you when everything I had still wasn’t enough??? But then Briar mentions that they’ll get the opportunity to find a legendary Pokémon on this quest – and whoops, now Kieran’s paying attention. Because here’s the answer to his impossible conundrum of how he can beat you next time.
Make no mistake: this is nothing like Ogerpon was to him. He’d been fixated on her and cared about her ever since he was little for deeply personal reasons based on him relating to her situation and projecting onto her. Her strength was part of it, but it wasn’t that he wanted to obtain that strength by catching her; he just admired her strength and wanted to be like her, and if he could, then maybe one day she’d acknowledge that by being his friend (and therefore also incidentally his Pokémon partner). But Terapagos is nothing to Kieran here other than a source of potential strength for him to acquire for himself by capturing it, a tool that will finally let him beat you.
Nonetheless, because this is another legendary Pokémon, Kieran can’t help but draw the surface comparison to Ogerpon anyway and remember the way she chose you over him. He’s probably already imagining that Terapagos might just do the same thing, because you’re so strong and special while he’s nothing – so he tells himself, fervently, that no, he won’t let that happen again, he won’t let this chance go.
He doesn’t ever say as much, but he’s bound to be already having doubts as to if he really could ever capture such an amazing Pokémon. Legendary Pokémon – or really, any Pokémon in general – are supposed to join trainers once they acknowledge their strength; that’s what battles to weaken and capture a wild Pokémon are all about. How is Kieran ever going to get Terapagos to do that for him when he’s so weak? But even so, even if it seems too good to be true, he has to cling to this possibility. It’s the only chance he has left to still just maybe be able to beat you, to continue running away from that gaping pit of inferiority inside him that he doesn’t know how to face.
(A minor nitpick I have with the game’s writing: it’d have been fun here if things had been subtler and Kieran hadn’t outright said that he wants to catch Terapagos at all. His intent would have been very clear regardless for anyone who could read between the lines – I realised what was up the moment he reacted to hearing about a legendary, because Oh No. But nonetheless, it seems like you the player character and also Carmine are both socially oblivious enough to fail to follow Kieran’s stated intent to catch Terapagos through to its obvious conclusion of “he’s still fixated on beating you”. I guess the two of you just assume, oh, hey, he’s found another legendary Pokémon to get excited about, that’s good, that means he must be getting over Ogerpon, right…? Ha. Ha ha ha. If only.)
Journey through Area Zero
As you make your way into and through the depths of Area Zero, Kieran seems to have largely lost hold of the condescendingly superior façade he’d been putting up all this time (after all, he doesn’t have the right to act that way towards you when he’s still weaker than you). This allows a few little hints of his true self to begin to rise to the surface and shine through again, at least a little bit.
He lets slip a “wowzers” on seeing the sheer alien beauty of the place for the first time, and later at the lab he’s so excited at the technology reminding him of a spy movie that he even forgets to mask his accent for a whole sentence. But both times, he’s quick to catch himself and brush it off and act aloof. That excitableness was part of who he used to be, that kid who was weak, and he's still convinced that he can’t afford to be that person any more. But, hey, getting these little reminders that he actually enjoys being his true self and has missed it, at least certain parts of it, has to help! Plus, Carmine seems happy at these moments of him being the little brother she knows and loves again; they have a bit of regular healthy sibling banter; she notices him being considerate about Briar reading someone’s private diary…
These are all good signs that Kieran’s starting to get back to normal, maybe just a little… but, not completely. The spark still isn’t there in his eyes, even when he’s smiling about the cool spy vibe of the lab. Despite the distractions, he’s largely very intent on just getting to the legendary Pokémon and nothing else. And perhaps most relevant of all, he barely says anything of substance to you, even if you try and talk to him.
He does have a notable reaction near the beginning when you mention that you came here last time with some friends of yours. Kieran had probably never quite considered the idea of you having other friends before – Ogerpon did not exactly prime him to imagine that about his idols, after all – but, now that he’s hearing it… of course you’ve got friends. Why wouldn’t you? You have everything, everything he’s always wanted so badly for himself but could never, ever have.
Then, of course, you’re the one who does all the hard work in the Underdepths to deal with the sparkling Pokémon that are blocking the way forwards. For the first one, Carmine almost asks Kieran to take care of it before changing her mind and asking you, which, ouch, that’s got to have stung. (I don’t think she did that to deliberately be unkind, though; it’s probably that she still feels a little weird and uncomfortable about her brother battling, because of the way he’s been, so she’d rather just watch you battle it instead.)
Because of all this, later on Kieran bitterly comments that he feels like everyone’s relying on you too much. Really, the only reason this is the case is because you just happen to be the one who has the lizardbike buddy that can navigate you to the Pokémon you need to defeat… but then, that in itself is another sign of how special and favoured by legendaries you are, isn’t it.
And actually, you’re not necessarily the only one who can reach the sparkling Pokémon! Kieran has a Dragonite, which must have been what he rode on for the flying Elite Four trial, so, in theory, he could go and deal with those sparkling Pokémon himself. But he doesn’t, because you’re already doing it anyway, and he doesn’t feel worthy of taking the spotlight from you. (Or, he could ask to join you on your lizard buddy as you head over there, but ha, even less chance he’s about to do that.)
One bit of optional dialogue Kieran has during this part is insisting that he could totally make quick work of those sparkling Pokémon if only they weren’t so far away. This is very true… but the fact that he never tries to do so despite actually having the ability to reach them himself tells us that his words are just desperate posturing that he doesn’t truly believe. He can’t even register the part where he genuinely has a really strong team of Pokémon that he worked hard to train, because he did all of that for the sole purpose of beating you, and since he couldn’t manage that, that means that none of it matters and he’s just useless.
Then there’s the moment near the end where Carmine tells Kieran it’s his turn to call out to you to let you know the path opened up, but Kieran miserably assumes you’d prefer to hear it from her instead. (As if who tells you that even makes any difference!) Carmine did this to try and begin bridging the gap between you, and she forces him to do it anyway despite his protest, but then when she asks if he’s got anything more to say to you, he just says no. He still doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of even interacting with you in any way at all, still convinced he must be nothing to you.
There’s a heartbreaking hypocrisy to this, too, since he knows you’re perfectly okay interacting with Carmine, and it’s not like she’s ever been able to beat you in battle either. But… but that’s different, right, because she’s already someone who’s strong and cool and worthy of your friendship. In Kieran’s head, he is the single person in the world who is so automatically, inherently worthless that he needs to prove his strength before he is allowed to Matter to you or to anybody.
Outburst at the crystal
As the group reaches the final chamber, Kieran rushes ahead into it and begins pulling at the crystal the moment he figures it even might be Terapagos, because he is so desperate not to lose this chance to anybody else (meaning you). In his urgency, completely oblivious to how messed-up this sentiment is, he blurts out that this’ll mean he can finally beat you, at which Carmine, who failed to realise this was still the reason he was doing all this until now, tries to call him out on it—
—And Kieran can’t stand that; he can’t let her try and take this away from him too on top of everything else, because this feels like the one remaining chance he’ll ever get to still have something and matter next to you. So in a kneejerk attempt to defend why he needs this, everything comes tumbling out. All of those feelings about how you have everything he’s ever wanted, and he has nothing, how he trained so so hard but even that ended up worthless because he still lost to you in the end, so this is all he has left.
(Well, it’s not quite everything that comes spilling out of Kieran here. He doesn’t say anything about why he feels he needs to beat you, and how that’ll totally magically solve everything for him – because there is no actual logic behind that part. There’s nothing he can say to make that make sense, and on some level he must be aware of that, must know it doesn’t, really. But if he admits that, admits that there really isn’t any way at all to escape from his crushing inferiority, then he’ll have nothing left whatsoever, which he cannot bear.)
Hearing Kieran’s outburst about how worthless he feels, Carmine tries to put in a good word for him about how he’s tried his best too – which is good! That’s exactly the kind of thing he needs to hear; she’s finally getting it! But unfortunately, because she herself is one of Kieran’s sore points, in regards to how you magically went and befriended her, he doesn’t properly register what she’s saying. Hearing her speak at all just triggers that thought and spurs him into venting about that, too.
His hang-ups with you befriending Carmine are interestingly reversed from how they appeared to be in Teal Mask. Back then, he seemed more low-key jealous that she might have been trying to take you, his first ever friend, away from him. But now (now that he’s convinced that you were never really his friend in the first place), it’s all twisted around into yet another sign of how perfect you are, because you managed to win over even someone as prickly and abrasive as his sister so remarkably fast. (Which, of course, has less to do with you than it has to do with the fact that Carmine’s actually a lot softer at heart than Kieran realises.)
He’s also maybe thinking about Drayton here, about the one time Drayton claimed in the cafeteria that you and he were “already tight”. That was a massive exaggeration, but no doubt Kieran filed that away as another person – someone else he finds infuriating and impossible to get along with – that you instantly won over with your magical friendship powers because of course you did. And on top of that, he’s bound to be thinking about his recent realisation that you came to Area Zero last time with your friends, plural, because of course you’d already got a bunch of friends, you’re perfect, you can do anything you want, you can be friends with anyone!
And yet – even as Kieran says this, it is objectively not true. Because you’re not friends with him right now! No amount of your amazing protagonist powers has been able to cut through his pile of issues and properly befriend him, even though you want to, because you are in fact not perfect in the slightest and have no idea what to say to get through to him and help him! But of course Kieran doesn’t realise this contradiction in what he’s saying – he's worthless, so the fact that you’re not friends with him is obviously just because you never wanted to be.
Speaking of you not being perfect, this moment here in which Kieran outright voices his jealousy and sense of inferiority compared to you is bound to be the first moment in which you, the player character, actually begin to realise that this has been his problem this whole time. (And, to be fair to your poor socially-oblivious avatar, it really wasn’t very apparent from their perspective until now! The only time Kieran ever gave any real explicit indication of his issues around you before was in Teal Mask, after the third battle when he lamented that “it’s because I’m weak” – but at the time, the player character wasn’t aware (like we the players were) that he knew they’d lied to him, so they couldn’t have known he was thinking about that. They probably just chalked his reaction down to him taking the lost battle particularly hard. The lie reveal was messy but seemed to work itself out; he was obviously upset when you caught Ogerpon but appeared to accept it well enough in the moment – then all of a sudden he showed up later being really determined to beat you for some reason??? Why.)
Another thing I love about this moment is the animation of Kieran desperately pulling at Terapagos’s crystal, the way he has to pause to catch his breath in between each huge tug, which really gets across that he is giving this every ounce of his strength. And that still isn’t enough, because it never is – he’s always too weak to be able to grasp even one thing for himself, but he is never ever going to stop trying no matter how impossible it seems.
(And I wonder if it’s going through his mind as he does this that surely this wouldn’t be nearly so hard for you. Like this is a sword-in-the-stone kind of thing, in which Terapagos would slide out smoothly like butter for someone who’s truly worthy of it, while a weakling like him is stuck hopelessly yanking on it with everything he has and just making himself look pathetic, because of course he doesn’t deserve this.)
Catching Terapagos
Except it turns out Kieran can manage to pull out the crystal after all, doing so with such force that he accidentally flings it halfway across the cavern to land between you and him. He rushes to pick it up before anyone else can, because this is his and he can’t let anyone take it from him, he can’t—
But then Terapagos wakes up, pops out of the crystal that serves as its shell… and it’s facing you. It doesn’t even see or acknowledge Kieran at all. It looks up at you adorably, like a baby imprinting on the first thing it sees, taking a few steps towards its new friend…?
(this has to be such an aching reminder of the way Ogerpon so quickly came to adore you and didn’t care about him, all compressed into one single agonising moment, ouch)
…This was not Terapagos choosing you over Kieran in any meaningful way. Kieran was behind it, such that it literally couldn’t see him and didn’t even know he existed. All it was doing was latching onto the first person it saw, which was you, because – completely by chance – it happened to wake up facing you and not him. If it’d woken up facing Kieran, it’d have seen and approached him in exactly the same way. Terapagos’s dormant crystal form is symmetrical; Kieran had no way to know which end was the head and which was the tail until it popped out.
This was, almost literally, a fucking coin flip. Only the coin was a magical crystal turtle and the winner was whoever “heads” landed facing towards.
(But then, luck has always chosen you over Kieran, too, hasn’t it?)
And so, seeing this happen to him yet again, seeing his one last chance of maybe finally having something and mattering about to be casually snatched away by you, like always, because the universe always gives you everything he wants… Kieran makes an awful, desperate split-second decision and throws the Master Ball. Because of course he does. It’s not right; it’s not fair on Terapagos – but it is so achingly understandable why Kieran would be driven to do this in this moment. The whole thing was so cruelly, rudely unfortunate. This poor kid just wants so badly to have something, to have anything at all where he’s not immediately overshadowed and upstaged by you.
(Also, shout-outs to the narrative cleverness of quietly establishing that BB Champions get given Master Balls, by the game giving you one when you beat Kieran, such that you think nothing of it at the time but can realise right away in this moment where Kieran got his from.)
Still, it’s notable how quickly Kieran was able to pull out the Master Ball, which suggests he’d had it ready near the top of his bag. It must have crossed his mind on the way here that surely, you’re going to somehow magically sway Terapagos to join you – or that it’ll just shun him, because earning a legendary’s respect involves proving one’s strength, and he’s still so weak – such that he felt he might need a way to guarantee it would become his, no matter what.
But even then, I do want to believe that Kieran wouldn’t necessarily have used the Master Ball if he hadn’t felt like he had no other option, and that he wanted to at least try to get Terapagos to join him willingly, like trainers are supposed to do. If he’d won the turtle-coin flip and it had woken up facing him, maybe he’d have been able to do so! But of course he didn’t get to have that.
(It’s kind of a shame that the characters never discuss the dodginess of catching a Pokémon from behind in a Master Ball, how that gave poor Terapagos no choice in the matter like Pokémon are supposed to have when they join a trainer. But then, pointing out that Master Balls are inherently ethically dubious gets awkward considering that the player can freely use them on anything they like, so the game was probably never going to go there. You are too silent-protagonist and Briar is too irresponsible-adult to comment on it, but maybe Carmine could at least have had a brief line questioning this? But, well, at least she does express apprehension about going in to battle with a legendary Pokémon they know almost nothing about, which is also a very valid concern, considering what ends up happening.)
Trying to beat you with Terapagos
So of course, the very next thing Kieran does is challenge you to battle him with Terapagos, so that he can finally beat you. Only… he doesn’t show anywhere near as much of that furious, fervent determination that he had for the Champion match. All that fire of his got snuffed out the moment he lost back then, and it never really came back. This isn’t the battle he’s been psyching himself up for and dedicating everything towards for months; it’s nothing but a desperate grasp at not falling apart completely. He’s kind of just… going through the motions, trying to beat you simply because it’s what he’s been clinging to all this time, and he still doesn’t know what else to do with himself if not this.
And more than anything, Kieran has to know deep down that he doesn’t truly deserve this, not after the way in which he caught Terapagos. After all, trainers are supposed to earn having strong Pokémon in their team, either by training them up from a low level themselves, or by proving their strength to a high-level Pokémon by weakening and catching it in battle. (This is why high-levelled traded Pokémon will disobey you if you don’t have enough badges – you haven’t given them a reason to respect you!) Catching a legendary from behind with a Master Ball is none of those things. Kieran has to be perfectly aware that he has not earned Terapagos’s strength in any way (just like he knew all along he’d never really be able to).
A very revealing line on this matter is that if you say you’re not ready to battle him yet, Kieran tells you, “You’d better not run away from this”. He never once implied you might run away from the Champion battle – that’d be like admitting you couldn’t win, and you’d never do that. But here, it's different, because Terapagos isn’t his strength, so even if he could beat you with it, it wouldn’t really prove anything about him. You’d be well within your rights to just refuse to indulge Kieran in this at all, and on some level, he knows that.
(…With all that said, Terapagos does obey his commands in the battle anyway. It’s sadly difficult to attribute any definitive emotions to it because it’s pretty unexpressive, but perhaps we can imagine that Terapagos is kind of just lost and confused, going along with the orders of the one who threw its ball because it’s not really sure what’s happening and battling is kind of instinctual for all Pokémon. Maybe it’s even more instinctual for Terapagos, thanks to its ability that automatically shifts it into a battle form when there’s an opponent in front of it. It doesn’t really help matters that you just sent something out to battle it without questioning things, either.)
If you manage to hit Terapagos super-effectively during the battle, Kieran scoffs that “it has a weakness? I thought this was the hidden treasure of Area Zero?!” What do you mean his super-special legendary that would let him finally definitely win this time isn’t invincible, that it’s still functionally just a regular Pokémon and it’s still possible – and not even that hard, really – for you to beat him even now.
And if you land a critical hit, oh boy: “How can you get critical hits, even at a time like this… What are you, the hero of this story?” Kieran is clearly raw with bitterness about the turtle-coin flip, about luck choosing you because you’re just so heroic, even when this was finally supposed to be his moment really seriously for real this time. It’s reminiscent of another time he compared you to a hero when you critted him, in his fourth Teal Mask battle – but back then, he said you were like the hero in “a story”, whereas here, you’re the hero of “this story”. Kieran’s realising on some level that if this were a story, you would be the hero of it, you’d deserve to win, and… wouldn’t he be the villain? Because heroes certainly do not go around throwing Master Balls at legendaries from behind.
(For the record, though? Kieran is not a villain. Stop calling him a villain, people. Not a single thing he does is outright villainous; catching Terapagos in this way is wrong, yes, but it’s an act of desperation for which his entire end goal is literally just to win a dang Pokémon battle against you. He’s barely even that much of an antagonist, if we get into that – this isn’t really a you-versus-him conflict so much as a him-versus-himself conflict that you happen to be inextricably wrapped up in.)
Kieran isn’t even that crushed when he loses this battle, just… lost and confused. He insists that “I thought if I had Terapagos, it would make me stronger,” as if catching it in a Master Ball would change anything about his strength – but really, he has to have known that wouldn’t truly be the case. And when Briar remarks that Terapagos isn’t as strong as it should be, Kieran just miserably assumes, “so it isn’t the hidden treasure?” Like, of course this was too good to be true, of course whatever Pokémon he actually managed to get his hands on was just some dud and not the real deal, because he’s never deserved to have anything worthwhile. His expression’s upset, and pleading, as says this was meant to let him beat you, still like that’d somehow fix everything, but his desperation’s become something pitiful compared to how furious it was before. He just doesn’t know what else to do, doesn’t know how else to cope with his crushing sense of inferiority if he can’t hold onto this.
Terapagos goes berserk
The only reason Kieran even Terastallises Terapagos is pretty much because Briar tells him to, and he’s at a loss for what else to do. It’s very possible that if an actual responsible adult had been here to talk him down – or, heck, even just let Carmine talk to him, since she was trying to do so again – then he’d have finally been in a state to listen and none of the ensuing disaster would have needed to happen. But Briar’s gotta see her giant sparkle turtle, because it turns out that basically her entire character exists to facilitate Kieran’s character arc having the most dramatic climax possible, and I for one am 1000% okay with that.
Kieran looks apprehensive and afraid even as he’s just beginning to Terastallise it (no emotionless mask to cover the wince this time), perhaps because he can feel that the power from his Tera Orb is way more than it usually is and isn’t sure this is a good idea. But what else can he do? He has nothing else left – so he throws the orb anyway.
Again, Terapagos is frustratingly unexpressive, such that it’s difficult to get a sense of whether it attacking Kieran once it Terastallises is an instinctive, unconscious defence mechanism, or something more deliberate. But it’s certainly more fun to imagine it’s deliberate – that this is Terapagos lashing out from anger and fear now that it’s been given a terrifying amount of power it can’t fully handle and begins to realise, wait, no, it didn’t want this. That makes this problem distinctly more Kieran’s fault, which is a good thing for his arc. (If Terapagos’s rampage wasn’t based in its emotions in any way, then this kind of wouldn’t be Kieran’s fault at all, not really! It was significantly more on Briar that he Terastallised it, after all. Kieran’s real mistake was catching it without its consent – so it’s more narratively satisfying for this to be, in part, him facing the consequences for that.)
Either way, the important part is that Kieran is bound to feel like this is Terapagos lashing out at him because he shouldn’t have caught it. He always knew deep down that that was wrong, and now here’s the proof, because of course a strong and special legendary like that would never truly acknowledge him. And now it’s so mad at him for trying to act otherwise that it tries to kill him. (This poor kid is already clearly very sensitive to rejection in general, but, ouch, that has to have been like a stab in the gut.) This is all his fault for daring to think he deserved to have any kind of strength at all.
But then you save his life, by sending out your lizardbike friend to shield him! Which on the one hand just makes you even more of a perfect hero – but this time, your heroism is a good thing for Kieran. And, more than that… you wanted to save him. You saw him as someone worth protecting? You, actually, care about him??? (Kieran has been convinced that he’s nothing to you pretty much ever since you lied to him back in Teal Mask, but, oh, hey, maybe not…?)
Not that he has much time to process that in the heat of the moment; he’s too busy freaking out over everything such that Carmine has to be the one to tell him he should recall Terapagos. Maybe on some level he just feels like Terapagos would never listen to him if he tried, because it literally just attempted to kill him – and indeed, it fights back and breaks the Master Ball rather than go back to being his Pokémon (there’s another painful sting of rejection). Of course Kieran should never have caught it or called himself its trainer. He reflexively asks “why?” it wouldn’t come back, but he knows why. It’s because he’s worthless and deserves nothing, and he should never have tried to pretend otherwise.
Facing the gaping pit
At the start of the final battle, Kieran’s just frozen in terror at what he’s accidentally unleashed, not to mention the recent shock of nearly being killed and the knowledge that this is all his fault. (Even though, it isn’t all his fault! Briar deserves at least half the blame for this! But that doesn’t remotely occur to Kieran in the moment, because he is intrinsically the most worthless person ever, so of course all the blame should be on him.) But after a little while, the immediate terror fades, and Kieran’s left with nothing but the overwhelming feeling that he’s useless, that he can’t help anyone. It’s that vast aching pit of inferiority that’s always been there inside him, finally right at the surface.
There’s nothing he can do to run away from it any more. Ogerpon didn’t want him and chose you instead. All of his efforts to make himself stronger meant nothing in the end because he still lost to you. He never should have tried to catch Terapagos, because it never wanted him either and all he’s done is put himself and everyone else in danger. There’s just no way out.
Which means that, for the first time ever, Kieran has no choice but to finally, actually face up to and confront his terrifyingly huge inferiority complex, and begin to fight against it in a genuinely healthy way.
Maybe he wouldn’t have even tried at all if it hadn’t been for the fact that he needed to help with this battle! Shout-outs to the narrative for creating a situation in which Kieran has to help after Carmine’s one remaining Pokémon goes down, because he might otherwise never have done so.
(I love that one of the things the battle camera can do while you’re idling here is cut to Kieran and linger a moment with him, with the look of either frozen terror or miserable inferiority on his face. Even though he’s technically just a background character right now for the mechanical purposes of the battle, this moment is about him, and the devs knew it.)
And of course it takes Kieran a really long time, most of the battle, to actually find the courage to fight back! His inferiority complex is so massive, so all-encompassing, the root cause of all of the desperate, self-destructive, obsessive things he’s done to try and escape it, that of course it’s so, so terrifyingly difficult for him to actually face up to it and find the strength to try and believe that… maybe it’s just wrong.
Crucially, the single thing that does the most to trigger Kieran’s shift into courage is you – you, calling out to him, asking for his help. Hearing that you actually value his strength and need his help is exactly the kind of acknowledgement that Kieran has always desperately craved from you all along. It’s just what he needs to help him believe that, just maybe, he might actually be kinda strong and worth something after all.
But even then! Even with that, his inferiority complex does not magically vanish, because of course it doesn’t work that way! All your words do is give Kieran the courage to fight it, by holding onto the fact that you believe in him and he’s not alone. His animations here are so good; there’s tears in his eyes even as he manages to snap himself into determination, because he is still so scared and just finally being really, really brave about it!
One really lovely subtlety is that the highlight in his eyes, that little visual detail that makes a character really look alive, which was completely not there in Kieran for the entirety of Indigo Disk up until now, finally comes back in the exact moment when he finds the courage to fight. And it's neat how the game manages to re-use the same screaming animation Kieran had for the beginning of the Champion fight, with the only minor differences being the tears and that highlight in his eyes, but in this new context it communicates an entirely different kind of emotion. It’s like he’s fervently psyching himself up into believing that he is capable of doing this.
And hey, Kieran’s contribution to the battle really is pretty helpful! It’s a genuinely tough fight to the point that, no matter your level, there’s a good chance you were struggling on your own for a while, so you’re probably glad he’s here to help even just in a mechanical sense. His Hydrapple’s Supersweet Syrup ability can be useful to you as well as him, and then if it goes down, he switches to Dragonite and – because of the evasiveness drop – begins spamming near-accurate Thunders on a Terapagos who is Water-type for this final phase. Look at him go! (And another thing Hydrapple can do to support you is use Dragon Cheer, which delights me, because it’s Kieran deciding that actually he’s okay with you getting all the critical hits after all. Aww.)
Once Terapagos is defeated, if you try to not catch it, Kieran will tell you that you need to do it, that “it has to be you, not me!” It’s so lovely that there’s not a hint of bitterness to him here as he says this, just perfectly comfortably accepting it, because he never really wanted Terapagos anyway and he knows it’ll be happier with you, and that’s all that matters. Even if you don’t get that line, his encouragement of you as you go for a Pokéball is more than enough to communicate the fact that he’s okay with you doing this. And Kieran’s smiling again, cheering you on with that same animation of his from back in Teal Mask when he was super excited to watch you battle his sister! This is the excitable, battle-loving kid he always was and finally is once more! His smile is even more adorable now without his hair obscuring half of it, too.
Letting it go
In the end, Kieran’s finally able to let things go thanks to multiple factors brought about by what happened in Area Zero. There’s the part where he spent the adventure being just a little bit closer to his normal self, letting him realise that he misses being like that and that maybe there was nothing inherently bad or weak about those parts of him at all. There’s the way that Terapagos going berserk served as a very stark representation of how his obsession with strength only ends up hurting himself and everyone around him, which must have helped him see that his behaviour leading up to this was doing the same kind of thing and he can’t go back to that.
And, perhaps most importantly, you acknowledged his strength by calling out for him to help you against Terapagos, which is what Kieran really needed the most all along. By joining you in the battle, he’s finally begun to face his inferiority complex, to shoot down the conviction in his mind that he’s useless and weak and can’t do anything, and prove to himself that he’s capable of confronting scary things after all, even including his own mistakes.
I do have another small writing nitpick about his dialogue in the post-battle scene, in that I don’t quite agree with his progression from “I just don’t have it in me to be like you” straight to “finally I can let it go”. Kieran was always aware of the former, deep down, but knowing that never did anything but make him latch desperately onto trying to prove that wrong no matter how impossible it felt. Meanwhile, the latter implies that he’s always consciously wanted to let it go and just somehow couldn’t despite that, which isn’t quite it either.
Instead, I think it’d work if he first went from how he can’t ever be like you into “I guess I have to just let it go”, and then from there into “Yeah… finally I can let it go”. Feeling like he simply has no choice but to let go at first, and only from there would he reflect and realise that actually, he can now, and maybe a part of him had always kind of wanted to after all.
Delightfully, as Kieran begrudgingly accepts that he can’t ever be like you, you finally get a dialogue option that lets you tell him that he’s strong and cool and worth something as he is!!! It seems like it really did take you hearing his inferiority complex directly from him in order for you to realise that this was something he needed to hear. He reflexively tries to downplay your compliment, like he didn’t really do anything impressive at all just now, because he still instinctively feels that way about himself – again, his inferiority complex has not just magically vanished, because it doesn’t work like that! – but hearing otherwise from you of all people has to be an immense help for him in fighting against it.
And it’s this that sets Kieran off crying, from that overwhelmingly positive emotion that you think he’s really cool, aww. This seems to break something of an emotional dam for him, letting him just have a good long cry about all of it, which, yes, he has so many emotions he’s needed to let out for so long now and it is good and healthy that he’s finally able to do so! (I wish this part was better animated, alas – but believe me, I am imagining him having such a big long cathartic cry even if the game isn’t managing to adequately show it.)
Then there’s the final scene! It’s so brave of Kieran to have resolved to apologise and make amends for everything he did wrong. That is scary as hell and comes with a huge risk of massive painful criticism and rejection, but he’s doing it anyway because he wants to do the right thing. He is such a good kid at heart despite his massive issues having driven him into several big mistakes.
Now that Kieran’s returned to something resembling his old self, his anxious body language from before is back – he’s barely making eye contact with you as he speaks, his head low, instinctively trying to hide his face behind the one bit of hair he still has hanging down. But nonetheless, you can tell that he’s making an effort to fight that and push himself to be just a little bit more assertive than he was able to be before all this. As he asks if you two can be friends again, he’s grimacing, already braced for rejection, hesitating then blurting out all of it in one big go before he changes his mind – there’s still a very significant part of him convinced that you’d just never want that and he doesn’t even have the right to ask. But at least he’s now able to realise that said part is probably wrong and find the courage to ask anyway! Because he wants this, and he deserves to at least try and grasp good things for himself!
And of course you still want to be his friend, because you basically always were anyway from your perspective, and Kieran is so adorably happy to have this second chance, and I am so delighted that the two of you are able to be friends again like you always should have been all along, aaaa. I could not be more proud of my boy.
(Well, I could go into a lot more detail about just how proud of and happy I am for Kieran thanks to all of his scenes in the epilogue and postgame. But that’s enough of its own separate Thing that it ought to get its own post! So hold on for that; I’m not quite done having So Many Feelings about this boy just yet. Aaand here it is!)
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moondirti · 1 year
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i’m so sorry but i’m such a simp for big men in masks. this is very self indulgent buuuuut could i request a ghost x reader who is shy and relatively unexperienced with sex? like has been with maybe 1-2 people but kinda just let them take charge? also really want some size difference in there too if possible? like i’m 5’6ish and underweight due to health issues but i can’t stop thinking about being tossed around by that mountain of a man
i have no excuse on why this took so long to get to babe, i'm sorry! he might be ooc in this idk, i just got done with a lengthy price oneshot so i need to warm up on ghost. corruption kink with ghost warnings: size kink, painful sex (kinda)
You don't tell him - not on your own volition, anyway.
But Ghost has seen you gut men twice your size, ripping their pancreas from between cracked ribs, dousing your hands in viscous red that still encrusts your cuticles days afterwards. You hold your weight on the team, your ledger stained with anyone who dares question it. He doesn't ask, but he only assumed the brash confidence to extend to every aspect of your being.
Which is why, when he cups your face or growls an obscene request in your ear, it throws him off guard to see you withdraw. Flushed, your cheeks warm with babydoll humility. You've never wavered with anything as much as you did him; not death, not merciless fusillade. It's a bizarre contradiction with everything he had you pinned down as.
It doesn't take him long to figure out why. You eventually blossom, just the slightest bit, and find yourself in his bed mere hours later.
"Gorgeous fuckin' thing. About stuff you full."
"Haah- I... You're huge, shit."
"You're a big girl, pet, you can take it."
"I've never- fuck! Slow down, please, please..."
His body locks at the first crack of your voice. You've got your face hidden in his shoulder, tucked between his neck and a thick muscle. He can't see it, but he knows. Your lashes flutter, damp on his skin, a hot pool of fresh tears trekking the scant space between you.
Simon pulls out, only a third of the way in, and detaches from you. He doesn't exactly have the words for comfort - his vocabulary whittled down to military jargon and bad jokes - but he rests his hand on your calf while he waits for you to collect yourself.
It's enough. A voiceless agreement permeates your relationship, some quick-trick tool for times when war unravels; one nod over the body of a gun, a pat on the shoulder as you fight your separate ways. It holds relevance, always, even now.
So he waits, because it's the only thing he can do. Waits, and reels over what went wrong. He'd thrown you over his face, sucking your honeyed slick directly from the source, until your body shook with concerning violence. He'd pumped you with two fingers, stretching your tight hole in preparation. He'd kneaded your supple flesh until you spilled to a puddle underneath him. All of it has usually sufficed before now.
It isn't your full-bodied heaves stop that you break the silence.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You didn't do anything, it was just... overwhelming. I've only ever been with one person before, and they were-"
"Bad."
"Smaller, asshole. God-"
He grabs your wrist, wrapping it in a large hand.
"Did I hurt you?"
"Not nearly. Just-" You gesture to yourself. "Like I said. Overwhelming."
"Shy, then."
"Si-"
You're practically squished when he bends over you, full lips grazing your jaw when he gruffs his intrusion.
"We have all night, pet. Plenty of time to get you to open up."
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uhgood-girl · 6 months
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why jikook?
i've been asking myself this a lot recently bc well, why them? why not tkook? or ynmin? hell, jihope even, they're underrated as hell honestly, have you seen that hot tub video? hobi was ready to unhinge his jaw to swallow jimin whole (and who (jk) could blame him.)
but jikook, in a not joking way, hits different. they always have. it's been years at this point that i've been deep in this rabbit hole (within the larger bts rabbit hole, my god, how deep does it go) but i don't recall making the conscious decision to fall in.
maybe a little background?
i'm a fake love army. actually, if we're getting technical, i'm an outro tear army bc it was in the comments of the freshly released fake love music video that i saw someone recommend outro tear if i enjoyed fake love and then it was over for me. extremely not fake love at first listen, who's voice is second on this track? i NEED to know. i'm a yoongi/rapline bias to this day. fake love still fucks though, don't get me wrong, it's a never skip for me.
for that first year and then some, i consumed backlogged content like it was my day job. i am a prone to hyper-fixations hermit, basically, who was going to stop me? my therapist? nah, she picks her battles.
i watched everything i could get my grubby little hands on like someone would be testing me on it later. (shoutout qdeoks, you were so real) i didn't open stan twitter for the first time till probably the end of 2018, really just in time to be slapped in the face full force with the shitshow that was a hate campaign against these boys i was deeply invested in by then, the likes of which i had never experienced in an online space up to that point. it was a truly, truly wild era, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.
all that to say, i've been here for a hot minute and i developed my own first impressions on bts and the members as individuals in a vacuum. no one had to point jikook out to me, they stuck out on their own.
potentially relevant disclaimer before we continue: i am really really queer. i grew up in the united states conservative deep south and had to change high schools my sophomore year bc i was outed and then violently ostracized for being in a relationship with my same sex best friend at the time. it is safe to say i have a lot of feelings about and experience even when it comes to having to be low key (understatement lol) about who you love. i am not here just to make my barbies kiss.
actually, on that note, jikook wouldnt even be my chosen barbies out of bts. if we're in true fantasy delulu hours here, i would want yoonjin to be real. god, that would be the stuff, they're so old married as it is. peak romance.
i think the first place jikook ever truly caught my attention were the memories dvds. jimin has always been a sweet, bby angel taking care of all his members but i remember thinking that he seemed to pay a little extra, special attention to jungkook. and of course, why not, jk's the maknae after all. all of them have always been doting on him and deservedly so. but in those briefly shown really serious, quiet moments, jimin was often first in line. a spot very easy for him to obtain tbh as jk never seemed to be very far from him anyway. maybe if you've never in real time lived the satellite jeon accusations (hi pandemic army, bless you, i hope you make it to 2025 when we have them all back without restrictions) you might find them easier to dismiss but it was so consistent back then in all of the content being released. and once noticed, i don't know how anyone ever un-notices it. but i was in deep before i even realized the water was boiling.
should i talk about why not tkook? or ynmin, for me? i'm just pulling those as examples bc i know they're the popular contenders here but all joking in the beginning of this post aside, none of the other members interpersonal relationships, in any configuration (sadly, RIP yoonjin romance), have ever struck me as anything other than puppy crush/deep friendship/family. and that's not bc i don't think over half of those men aren't queer in some form or fashion because WHEW, that is an entirely different post and we simply do not have the time to unpack rn but it's not for lack of looking.
i started in a vacuum, but i have by no means stayed there, i walked in all of those front doors and sat down and said "convince me." i've got the time and lack of life, i am ready to be won over. what have i missed?
to this day i still regularly try and check my own confirmation bias, i'm obviously looking for jikook at this stage but i'm still ready on my toes if any of the others want to get crazy. (yoonjin i am rooting for you, we're all rooting for you)
and i'm not here to really persuade or sway anyone one way or another either. there are a 1000 other blogs on this site that can probably offer you better explanations, specific clips, and detailed break downs of moments throughout the years and even then people are going to see what they want to see. i just wanted to write some of my own thoughts down finally.
though...i guess if i had to point to any one single piece of "evidence" it would definitely be tried and true gcf tokyo? but if watching that the first time didn't ring through you like a gunshot, i def don't think there's anything i could say beyond that.
honestly, i think so much of "why jikook" for me boils down to the pit in the bottom of my stomach that i used to get when i first began to notice them. when i got past the initial warm fuzzies inspired by the sincerity of their interactions, my immediate second emotion was concern.
i remember the first time i heard some of the other boys make an offhand joke about them being a couple and i got anxious, fast. i thought hide, hide better, please be safe. i began to pay extra attention to the other members in general too when jikook would do things and felt like i could sometimes see a similar anxiety to my own in their expressions. for a long time, i just worried about them and where i saw other people rejoice in their more obvious moments, i was slow to celebrate.
despite my initial hesitation, it's now been about 5 years since the first time they ever made me double take. they're a few years younger than me but i feel like we've been growing up together. (parasocial? idk her.) they're less conspicuous these days, and for lots of obvious reasons, but i feel like overall, their confidence in themselves and each other is quite high. i know that's probably a funny thing to say in light of this last week especially, but i stand by it. i've seen this song and dance before. i have managed my own expectations in the past, taken full steps back only to be beaten anew over the head so many times with enough "coincidences" i felt borderline foolish to try and deny anything. jikook are truly some sort of neuro-spicy pattern recognition drug, i swear.
and i've never really gotten to talk about any of this with anyone before! i'm shy irl, and shy online apparently bc i have just been lurking around the outer lines of this circle this whole time like some creepy creep but i've decided i'm over it. fuck it. growth.gif. idk that i have anything important or new to contribute to the conversation but my god, no one else seems to let that stop them so i might as well take my turn on the soapbox, no?
so 📢 JIKOOK REAL (?) jikook sus. jikook make bandaged queer little heart go boom boom.
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Damian as a little brother. A trained assassin, yes, but also the family's youngest.
Here's how I think that plays (Part 1?)
Damian & Tim
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Worth mentioning that I headcanon Tim as a gamer. Now, to me, Tim is a 90s kid. He played pokemon on his Game Boy when it first came out. He had a nintendo 64, a gamecube, and basically every console you can think of.
Because the timeline is not time lining, and he's not allowed to grow up (side eyeing DC), he now is a switch kinda kid.
Cue short story
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Every time Tim is at the manor or the cave, Damian can't help but notice he's always using a strange console. He's never paid much attention to it. After all, what Tim does in his free time is of no relevance to him.
But one night, after patrol, he sees Drake throw the console away angrily and leave the room, cursing. (Not real curses, mind you, not with Alfred around).
Now this. This is ... intriguing. Anything that could make the older boy angry, Damian could find interest in. So, out of curiosity, he approaches the device and examines it. Black, two bright controlers on each side. Nintendo is written on the back, and Damian think he does remember a few classmates carrying similar consoles in their bag. They used them to play games that would get them yelling and laughing when on break from lessons.
A gaming console then. Is this what had Tim so riled up? He thought Drake to be above such imbecilic distraction. The older boy has such a practical mind. Damian cannot picture him spending all of his free time playing a child game. And enjoying it. He has to be doing something else with this.. Switch? Something worthwhile.
He must figure it out. So he opens the console, and confusion flows through him at what he sees. These graphics are horrendous. A pixelised and ridiculous robot is giving a speech on the screen. What in the world is Tim playing. The robot turns into a dancing man. What.
Graphics start to flow on the screen. Damian does his best to avoid what he understands to be attacks and to fight back, but his character is ridiculously weak. He is defeated quickly and extremely annoyed. When the screen tells him to "stay determined," he scoffs. This game is taunting him. Ridiculous.
So when the game starts again, instead of fighting the ridiculous robot man, Damian tries to find an ennemy he can slay. And he does! He makes his way back and win a few fights. Now that he understands the concept better, this game- well it's not so bad. He just defeated another ennemy when Drake comes back. And as soon as he sees him with the console, he's yelling.
Damian thinks it's a bit too much. After all, he only played a little and gained experience points. Which Tim was lacking. He says so, but then the older boy goes quiet. Deadly quiet.
Drake takes a step forward, and weirdly worried, Damian takes one back. The yelling picks up, and now Tim is chasing him, throwing cussions and curses at him. He finally catches Damian and rips the console away from him. After pressing a few buttons, he whines and pinches his nose, looking so mad. Disappointed. And that does it.
Damian yells back and demands an explanation. Why is Tim so angry. He does not understand. What did he do that was so wrong?
The questions seem to settle Tim, who deflates, and now simply looks defeated. His head falls back and he starts to talk, as if to explain, but then he stops. And smirk. That can't be good.
Next thing he knows, Damian is sitting in the den. The console is connected to the television, and he's playing the game from the beginning. Tim is sitting next to him, offering no advice. Drake said he would understand what he did wrong once he reaches the end of the game, but really, Damian thinks he's doing great at winning so far.
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crooked-wasteland · 2 months
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Hazbin Hotel Live Blog: Overture
. While I am being kind to the show as it is, I cannot push out of my mind the fact that this is still Vivienne Medrano, and while this seems to be an interesting direction the series is considering to take the story, I am lacking any intrigue. Medrano has a knack for interesting ideas, but once executed are often trimmed down from all nuance and then played in the most straight forward and storybook fashion.
Evil existed before and separate from Lucifer
Eve is linked to the root of evil through the animation
Dichotomy of Lilith and Lucifer
Why does Heaven think Hell will rise up?
Charlie is reading the storybook to herself. Aloud. And the reason is because she’s like a child seeking comfort. Also Charlie’s delivery of “Pretty worked up” is just feeling off. Like isn’t this supposed to be a somber moment? Why is it delivered so chipper? The pilot had her crying and singing a lamentation. Downgrade.
Info dump dialogue
“This kingdom was something she really cared about.”
Vaggie’s voice is such a downgrade. She sounds so uninterested.
“Daddy issues by fixing you” So alastor knows about Charlie’s family situation already.
The lineart around Alastor is so distracting. It’s so bizarrely thick.
I wish there was no dialogue
Her dad calls her but she is supposed to have a strained relationship.
I feel like Medrano doesn’t know what Angel Dust is. As in the actual drug. PCP is not Cocaine.
That was the worst segue into a song I ever saw.
“If you dont mind the smell, it’s a happy day in hell.” I hate this line.
Vaggie just never sounds right, does she? Her singing is so nasal dominate it doesn’t sound like her throaty modal voice.
What was the contract? What did it say? Why even have Charlie sign anything if we have no concept of what that is? It is such a rip off from Ariel’s contract in the Little Mermaid that it feels more like an Easter egg than relevant to the story actively being told. You need to show why the actions happening are taking place, you cant just do things and expect us to pick up the pieces for you. Are you trying to get across that Heaven is full of bureaucracy and paperwork? There is no receptionist and no other person in the building until she signs ONE paper. You failed at portraying an overabundance of bureaucratic red tape and it is distracting and infuriating. All I see are the better DISNEY MOVIES that were clearly just plagiarized. Not an homage, not inspired. Plagiarized.
Lucifer calls Charlie to meet Adam. Adam says he knows. So this doesn’t feel like this is Charlie filling in, the way the dialogue is written is that it was specifically planned for Charlie to meet Adam.
Everything has a gradient.
I bet $15 that the Dickmaster portion of Adam’s dialogue was Alex Brightman’s improv. I was not impressed by his Kaiju Dick improv in Oops and this is just as flaccid. Pun intended.
There is a clear discccrepency in talent between Alex and Erika. He has such a smoother voice and range while Erika feels like a Disney understudy where every delivery is pretty much identical to the last. Like the songs themselves are not doing her any favors. They range from bad to mediocre, and even in the better songs, there is always one horrifically bad lyric that just ruins the entire experience.
I like Lute. She feels like Peridot.
RIP Katie Killjoy.
Nifty is cute. The joke for her had a lot of potential of being hilarious but didn’t meet my threshold of comedy due to lacking a feel for Nifty. Imagine if she was in every scene with Vaggie talking her head off and never shutting up. Then when Vaggie is like, “If anyone can sell this hotel, it’s Nifty.” And we had this foundation that Nifty is known for being a huge chatterbox only to then be dead silent when the camera is on her. It would have been hilarious. But we see her once and she has one singular line previous. So it just feels like a cheap visual gag.
As a musical, it is lackluster. I see that Evil is something separate from Lucifer and something he dislikes. Lucifer is said to see free will as a spring of creativity, but humans used it to suck and that killed Lucifer’s love of life. In the meantime, Lilith is empowered by Hell. Hell fuels her sense of freedom, which she spreads through her “songs”. Only for her to just vanish I guess. She just hopes out without a word, Charlie says she must be doing something important over the last 7 years, but no inclination on what important things Lilith would be doing. Additionally, Lilith is said to have loved Hell, like Charlie. So it sets up this idea that Lucifer dislikes Hell or even hates it, while Lilith revels in it. Alluding to their marriage falling apart from this dissonance. At the same time, Lucifer calls Charlie to meet with Heaven, despite the pilot being canon. So we get the impression that Charlie and Lucifer had a falling out (“Maybe dad was right.”) but she doesn’t have much more than surprise at her father calling. Then he just sets up this meeting for her to meet with Adam off screen entirely. It is unclear how this was conveyed, but Lucifer doesn’t believe in Charlie and her meeting Adam has nothing at all to do with her hotel.
But the way Adam talks about the meeting is unusual in that it gives the impression that it wasn’t about Charlie “filling in”, but that this whole meeting was specifically set for Charlie and Adam. This is compounded by how the ending reads like they didn’t know if the angel was dead until that moment. So the extermination being moved up has nothing to do with the angel’s death. Maybe I’m wrong, but this all feels really disjointed.
But Lute really is just Peridot. So much so that when asked what I liked about the episode, I literally said “Peridot”, not Lute. The one good aspect of this episode is another stolen concept from a better show with a more competent creator. But I also like Alex Brightman’s singing. He is very talented and he does elevate the material by really playing with his delivery, but it’s still at best Mid due to the weak lyrics,
3/10
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meraki-sunset · 1 year
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There's still one thing I don't understand about the concept of an absolved timeline: as alt!Calliope explained, this is a timeline whose relevance is fed from the canon, or in other words, us readers who came from the original homestuck in search of a new story. But in a completely technical standpoint the alpha timeline exist because there is no other timeline that end up creating LE, whose influence reaches far before time ever existed, and thus needs to be created to complete the biggest time loop ever existed in the history of paradox space. This timeline however, fail this exact condition on account of Gamzee regain his autonomy from LE, thus giving him no reason to remain in the battle against Caliborn, if he even raised the cherubs in the first place. So without this event, and subsequently possessed lil cal->doc scratch ->Lord English, how is this timeline not doomed 100 times and back?
What you're saying is true. According to canon, no timeline exept the alpha can exist. only homestuck canon can exist and every other timeline with even the slight variation will get doomed and everyone in it die without fail. Period. No point in arguing.
I say that's stupid and i don't like it.
SO i'm making use of what i call "the pesterquest dinamic"
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Spoiler alert
In pesterquest MSPAReader, after meeting the homestuck cast and learning about their horrible fate to come, basically says "fuck you this is my timeline now" and dives into the Green sun and absorves it's powers, becoming a guardian, like Beckerel and Doc Scratch
With this power they sever the timeline they've intervined into from canon logic.
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They create a "Locked timeline". a Timeline that doesn't have to create Lord English. It needs to, it should, the things that happen in the homestuck timeline are part of a big infinite loop that must create him and can't be tampered with or it will result in doom. But that's the thing with loops, they don't have a begining or end. any part of it that you sever can be the begining, the middle or the end
What i'm trying to say is, time in homestuck isn't linear, it doesn't follow the logic that changing something in the past should change the future. it doesn't it just marks the timeline as doomed when something is changed and that's the end. just a cross in the clipboard and fate moves to the next timeline leaving that one to rot
So grabing a timeline, severing a chunk of it (like the period where the kids and trolls haven't played the game), changing it for the better and letting it survive by external means is posible acording to Pesterquest.
Just imagine this. if a homestuck timeline is a book, and you rip a page, does the book change? did you changed the past? do the future events of the book change because tecnically the events of the page you ripped are no longer part of the book? No, the book follows it course. it just became a useless book. A broken book. It's now a doomed timeline. It can't no longer fullfill it's purpose. it'll be disposed of. That's how homestuck timelines it works.
That's why i always refer to CSAU as "infested with paradoxes" and "leaching from the canon timeline" because i know it shouldn't exist acording to canon. acording to canon it should be doomed.
But it's not. Because every little thing that CSAU lacks, every page that has been riped, that should doom it, CSAU steals it from canon homestuck
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That's what i tryed to explain with "the river and the puddle" analogy. The puddle doesn't dry because it feeds from the river. CSAU doesn't get doomed because it leaches from homestuck.
How did The Felt get to the game in CSAU? The Felt are LE's minions and acording to canon before they got to the game they were at hussies mansion, where LE killed Hussie, and then Jack escaped with them and Ms. Paint inside of an oven and into the Alpha kid's game. That never happened in CSAU, that event of LE breaking into Hussies mansion with his minions and killing him never happened in this AU, yet the characters from it are here, with memories of it happening. they remember it happening tho it didn't. That's because they're copies, they're stolen from canon.
CSAU steals it's missing pieces from canon to stay alive, like a parasite, a harmless one in a comensalistic relationship. Canon doesn't even know we're here.
And the guardian who keeps the timeline safe, the force that gives it relevance for it to keep doing what it does and keep feeding from the river, who keeps the puddle's tiny stream of water that conects it to the river from being severed, It's us. It's you and It's me. CSAU is relevant to us for diferent reasons for every person, but that's why it exists. Because it's important to me and maybe to you and that's all tha matters. Canon it's it's sourse of missing pieces with which patches it's paradoxes and we are it's sourse of relevance. That's what makes an absolved timeline, that's all it takes.
A will to survive and people to care.
I hope there's more timelines like this one out there
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weirdmarioenemies · 10 months
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Name: BaNaNa Boy
Debut: Mario Kart 8
In the past, we have gone over some of the most silly and notable fictional sponsors appearing in the Mario Kart series, but one has always stood out as the most a-peeling, even back then! That is none other than BaNaNa Boy. Who is this mystical Boy? Why does he capitalize such seemingly unimportant letters? Let’s discuss.
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BaNaNa Boy is, I must assume, the provider of the Banana Peels that are so important to the Mario Kart series! It is quite obvious, I must say. The peel is in the logo, and the slogan, “Let one slip!”, refers to slipping on them. I am also reasonably certain that this slogan is based on the phrase “let one rip”, referring to farting. Awesome!
I have to wonder how BaNaNa Boy got their start! I don’t know how long lore-wise banana peels have been used for kart races. Maybe at first the Kongs were more than happy to donate their used banana peels for the races, but as the karting franchise grew and grew, they needed more, a dedicated provider... a BaNaNa Boy! Someone BaNaNas for Bananas! Or maybe it is a more humble origin, and BaNaNa Boy was a small novelty shop, providing banana peels and other items to prank your friends with. When a large amount of banana peels were needed, one of their loyal customers suggested this small business, and that was their big break!
It may seem like producing large quantities of bananas only to use their peels would be incredibly wasteful. But do not fret!
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Let One Slip right down your esophagus! As seen if you look closely at the vending machines in Super Bell Subway, BaNaNa Boy sells beverages, presumably made with the peeled bananas! You can find them wherever you find canned water from Toad Harbor and canned Roy Smooth Sounds. I would also like to assume that BaNaNa Boy provides bananas for other establishments, like Coconut Cafe, which we also see in Super Bell Subway! I know I would love a BaNaNa muffin!
I have been writing “BaNaNa” so many times here. I love the wacky capitalization! It makes me pronounce it in my mind like “bah nah nah” rather than “banana”. Do you think it stands for something? I think it can be a sort of acronym, representing their three main products: Bananas, Nanners, and ‘Nas! All brought to you by a Boy. A Boy with a dream.
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A Boy with a dream of stardom! Advertised in New York Minute, Da Big Apple itself, is BaNaNa Boy, the musical! The smash hit musical! Is BaNaNa Boy such a huge and popular brand that it has become a multimedia franchise? I like to think that it is not. It’s still just a banana supplier. But now it has a musical, and everyone loves it! Wouldn’t you want to see what it’s all about? I would!
Maybe it follows the story of the company’s rise to worldwide success. Or maybe it is an entirely fictional adventure about BaNaNa Boy the banana peel and his wacky friends... and foes! BaNaNa Boy would be the hero defending the banana trees and the entire ecosystem around them, and the whole thing would distract people from the actual environmental damage the brand is actually causing just like any corporation. What a fun spectacle! Visit the concession stand and treat yourself to a BaNaNa peel packaged in its own single-use plastic wrapper!
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Did you know that Super Bell Subway contains this incredible city map? That’s the subway terminal itself in pink, with train lines leading out, and you can even see Toad Harbor in box A2, and Moo Moo Meadows in box D3!
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And did you know that this city is, in fact, the one seen in N64 Rainbow Road? It is so so SO cool and awesome to see such continuity in a franchise where there is so often none at all! As a wise woman once said, “More like Mario Kart Lore!” But how is this relevant? Look at the first map again! It’s blurry, but the text on each side is the names of a whole lot of the sponsors seen advertising throughout the game! This is not just any city, but apparently a capital of the racing world, full of storefronts or maybe even headquarters of businesses from BaNaNa Boy to Undead Motors. Hey, BaNaNa Boy! That’s the one we were talking about before this tangent!
According to section A, BaNaNa Boy (misspelled Banana Boy) is located in box C3. The labels on the map itself are nearly unreadable, but as they list some the same businesses multiple times even in the same boxes, I am inclined to ignore them. So let’s look at box C3, home of BaNaNa Boy!
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Here it is! Somewhere in this image is BaNaNa Boy (location). It certainly looks like all residential buildings to me, though! Are you telling me they did not want to take the time to model individual unique businesses on this background setting far away from the actual racetrack, and/or did not plan in advance that a DLC track would establish that these locations are unique in the first place? Preposterous! Clearly BaNaNa Boy works from home and you can come visit him. In real life!
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One more thing! Mario Kart Tour is very insistent upon people playing as Miis, with multiple racing suits available, each treated as its own character. I am not a fan of most of these, as they are usually just based on a character who is already playable, so I would rather play as the real character! However, there are some really fun and creative ones based on other things from the Mario series, my favorite probably being this one based on the end-of-level castles! If they can make a suit based on this, surely they could make one based on Banana... and maybe even BaNaNa Boy itself, seeing as this game celebrates the sponsors wherever it can, to the point of even putting their stickers on some racing helmet! It would absolutely become the best racing suit to me instantly. You could pretend you’re playing as THE BaNaNa Boy! I love selling out! BaNaNa Boy paid me to write this post! (in exposure)
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jungk0oksthighs · 2 years
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Over The Odds | Terms & Conditions
Pairing - jungkook x reader
Genre - angst, smut, ceo!jungkook, sugardaddy!jungkook
Word count - 5k
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Jungkook gives you an offer you’d be a fool to refuse
warnings: swearing, drinking, degrading, fingering, rough mirror sex (and pls always wear a seatbelt)
FULL SERIES COLLECTION
Jungkook’s proposal hangs in the air as you try to process what he’s asking of you. Still sitting beside him in a club you’ve recently discovered he owns, you turn to face him with a cocktail of offense and shock contorting your features. Of course he’s into this scene it makes perfect sense, it’s not like he can’t afford the affection of others. Wanting to make sure you’ve heard him correctly before you berate him, you manage to ask him to repeat himself.
He lightly traces shapes on your inner thigh with tattooed fingers, “I will give you financial support,” You watch him lick his lips, not breaking eye contact once, “In return for your company. Amongst… other things.”
“I’m not a prostitute.” You bark, undoubtedly pissed off. Never in your life has anybody tried to buy you for a night. Even if you’re struggling financially, and even if Jungkook is quite literally the sexiest man you’ve ever had a drink with, you’re still offended by the notion.
“Never said you was darling,” He chuckles, “But let me guess, you have student loans that eat away at your pay cheque every month? You shop in the reduced section of the grocery store, and you live payday to payday – almost always drowning in overdraft fees from the bank because you spend far more than you earn.”
Your silence confirms his suspicions and so he speaks again, “I’m very good at reading people, that’s your exact situation isn’t it?”
“My situation is irrelevant.” You down the rest of your champagne, mentally preparing to storm off, “I’m not going to have sex with you for money.”
“I would argue your situation is very relevant actually, you’re struggling and I can help you.” He leans back in his seat, arm now gently draped over the back of your chair.
He isn’t wrong at all, you do live payday to payday and you are choking on debt left right and centre. Still you can’t fathom what he’s asking of you, you’d always assumed that the Sugar Daddy scene was full of dirty old married men, paying to cheat on their wives. As far as you know Jungkook is unmarried, fully single and has no children. Not to mention he’s attractive, it’s baffling why he’d need to pay for any kind of relationship. Beginning to entertain the idea ever so slightly you ask him a question of your own.
“Why me? I’m sure there’s plenty of girls in this place who would have sex with you for free.” Yourself included, before he went and pissed you off anyway.
“Consider me intrigued.” He smirks, “I’m attracted to you, I want to get to know you.”
There’s no doubt you’re attracted to him too, heat licks a flat stripe up your spine at the idea of him being interested in you, even if he’s going about it in all the wrong ways. Suppressing a scoff you can’t help but roll your eyes, “And you couldn’t have just asked me out on a date? You had to make me some kind of charity work to inflate your ego some more?”
“I don’t date.”
“Ever?”
To this he shakes his head, “I had Taehyung draw up a monthly rolling contract a while back, it’s the only way my relationships can work.”
“You’re telling me that even your love life has terms and conditions?” A puff of air rips from your nostrils, “That’s sad.”
“No,” He’s quick to defend himself, “That’s business. And I wouldn’t call it a love life. Just two mutual parties having a good time without running the risk of heartbreak.”
“So let me get this right, you find me attractive and want to get to know me?” You ignore the wave of teenage like giddiness that rolls over you, instead choosing to zone in on Jungkook’s deadly serious expression.
“Correct.” He nods once, the smallest smile ghosting his lips.
“But you don’t want to date me.”
He sighs, “We would go on kind of dates, you’d accompany me to social events – for all intents and purposes we would be something akin to ‘dating’” He mimics air quotes, “Just on my terms. I’d be investing my money in your time.”
“No,” You shake your head, “Thank you for the champagne, but my answer is no.” You know full well you have a tendency to get attached to men, and you could only assume things would be no different with him. No matter how much you need the money you have to put yourself first, as tempting as his offer is starting to sound.
At your dismissal his brow quirks, “Oh. May I ask why?”
“I don’t think it’s very fair,” You admit, deciding to pour yourself one final glass of expensive bubbles before your departure, “Eventually after going on a few kind of dates and getting to know each other, one way or another we’d end up having sex. And for starters, you could be a really bad kisser or worse, you could have a tiny penis or not know what a clitoris is. If we’re not ‘dating’ it means for once I don’t have to waste my time on something that might turn out to be a colossal disappointment.” You’re smug, sipping your drink.
He’s laughing now, his perfect white teeth exposed as his Adam’s apple bounces up and down in his throat, “I see your point, I’m offended you already think so little of me.”
“Says the guy who’s trying to pay me for sex.”
“Not sex, your company. I tell you what, I’ll put my cards on the table…” He lowers his face until his nose brushes against your ear, his breath warm on the side of your neck, “Before you agree to anything, give me tonight to prove to you I’m none of those things you’re so scared of.”
“Doesn’t that go against the conditions of your agreement? Trying before you’re buying.” You’re amused, you’re in total control of this situation which is something Jungkook’s obviously not used to. His offer is ludicrous, one you will never agree to. But a one night stand with Jeon Jungkook is an idea you’re rapidly warming to, especially when he presses a hot open-mouthed kiss to your exposed jugular.
“I’ll admit it’s different to the normal set up, usually women jump at the chance to sign the contract,” He pulls back with a grin to watch you, “But you’re right, it would be unfair of me to expect you to agree to something before you’ve experienced it.”
“If we do anything at all, it’s only for tonight.” You drop your manicured fingertips to his obnoxiously thick thigh and watch him stiffen beneath the circles you’re tracing, “I have no interest in signing that thing.”
“Maybe not right now,” He pulls an iPhone from his black slacks, “But I’m sure I can convince you otherwise.”
Within the space of ten minutes you’re sitting in the back of a large limousine, squeezing your legs together in an attempt to lessen the throbbing wetness in your underwear. Jungkook’s hand rests on your upper thigh, his thumb rubbing back and forth reassuringly as he stares out the window, watching people as they walk on by with absolutely no idea of what he’s about to do to you. It’s been a while since you’ve had sex, far too long for your liking. The mere prospect of an orgasm is almost enough to push you over the edge here and now, Jungkook eventually notices you’re growing arousal beside him and smirks to himself.
“Remind me again,” He closes the distance between your bodies, removing his seatbelt as he slides across the leather until you’re shoulder-to-shoulder, “What are the things stopping you from agreeing to my terms? What is it you’re so afraid of?”
“Well first of all, I’m worried that you’ll turn out to be a really bad kisser.” You’re acting indifferent but that couldn’t be further from the truth, you wanted him now, you craved his touch and wanted nothing more than for him to fuck your brains out – which you know for a fact he’s more than capable of doing, the man oozes sexual energy, you’re just enjoying giving him a hard time.
“Secondly, you could have a tiny penis, and I don’t mean a small penis I mean a tiny penis with no hope of ever pleasuring a woman. And third of all, you probably don’t know where my clit is.” You shrug nonchalantly, even though you’re internally screaming.
He wets his lips, an amused smile tugging his features, “Reasonable concerns I guess,” His voice is low and laced with humour, “But what if you’re a terrible kisser?”
“I’m not. I’m a great kisser.” You’re gazing up at him through long eyelashes, heart pounding in your chest.
“Hmm, is that so?” Jungkook lifts a single brow before gripping your jaw, turning you to the close proximity of his face, “Come here.”
Suddenly his mouth is on yours and the hum of the moving vehicle fades into white noise. Jungkook kisses you slower than you anticipated to begin with, probably testing the waters before diving in head first. His lips caress yours as he presses sweet kisses against your mouth, one hand still gripping your jaw as the other begins to explore the shape of your curves. Growing impatient you slide your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss into something much more heated.
A low moan falls from his mouth into yours with the movements of his tongue, working against yours perfectly in sync. You smirk against him triumphantly which doesn’t go unnoticed, he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and playfully tugs, chuckling to himself when a soft 'fuck’ slips from you. As much as you hate to admit it Jungkook is in fact the best kisser you’ve ever had – making you weak at the knees embarrassingly fast.
Something snaps and he’s quickly unbuckling your seatbelt and pushing your back down against the leather, his tongue fighting for dominance with your own as you both grow more and more impatient. His body is hard and hot on top of you, your fingers tangled in his raven locks as you pull his face impossibly closer to yours.
“So needy.” He mumbles, voice horse and drunk with lust.
“Touch me, please touch me.” You’re panting between lewd open-mouthed kisses, desperate to feel more of him. Jungkook’s reaching down between your thighs, his hand finding purchase on your underwear as he cups your pulsating core. “Oh, Jungkook-“ You mewl, lifting your hips in search of friction.
“So impatient baby,” He whispers, littering your neck with a string of wet kisses. The limousine hits a bump in the road causing his hand to slip and press against your clothed clit. What you initially thought was accidental at first Jungkook’s now recreating on purpose, teasingly rubbing your most sensitive area through your lacy thong. “I think you can cross number three off your list, I definitely know where that is.” He’s smug, pulling back with a darkening expression.
The repeated movements make your head spin, if he keeps massaging your core like this you’re going to come in your pants any second now. You focus on the feeling, trying to keep the white hot heat at bay at least until you make it to his place. You refuse to come in the backseat of a limousine still fully clothed.
“No witty comeback? Wow. Well how do I score on the kissing?” He sniggers, crashing his lips down to yours in another heated make out session.
“I guess you’re alright.” You gasp for air, nose pressed roughly against his.
He’s soon pulling your underwear to the side, dipping his hand into your wetness and smearing it up to your swollen clit earning your thighs to twitch from the sensitivity. He ghosts your entrance for a moment, whispered profanities escaping him as your slick coats his digits, you can feel how wet and ready you are for him, desperate to be filled. The sudden intrusion of two fingers inside you makes you groan, back arching in pleasure so that the swell of your breasts press against his taught chest.
“Jungkook-“ You whimper, features crumpled with ever growing arousal.
“Fucking hell.” He breaths against your lips, making your mind go blank for a second. The sound of him pumping in and out of you fills the back of the car, your walls are already tightening around his knuckle-deep fingers. “You’re so wet baby, all for me.” His voice is almost enough to push you over the edge, chest rising and falling with each ragged breath as your upcoming orgasm approaches.
“I’m gonna come like this.” You throw your head back against the seat, gripping his shoulders tight enough to bruise. “No-, wait, stop.” Your eyes are squeezed shut, as you push the euphoric rush far away from you.
Without hesitation he removes himself from you, lips kiss-stained and swollen. Just the sight of him turns you on, he’s looking down at you with big round concerned eyes and you know you need to reassure him he didn’t do anything wrong.
“I’m sorry, we don’t have to-“
“Don’t apologise. It’s not that, not at all...” You steady your breathing, reaching for his hand that’s covered in your arousal. Pressing the two wet digits to your mouth you pepper them with small kisses, “It’s just that-, I want to come around your cock instead.” Your feigned innocence shifts into smirk, knowing exactly what you’re doing. Not giving him the chance to respond you take his dripping fingers in your mouth and gently suck, occasionally swirling your tongue around the inked digits to taste yourself.
“Fuck. You’re such a dirty little slut.” His eyes are blown out and black with lust, mouth ajar. Staring down at you with an indescribable expression as the car ride finally came to a stop. “Thank fuck, we’re here.”
Jungkook’s gripping your wrist and dragging you to the elevator in his large apartment complex, clearly in a hurry to pick things up from where you left off. The building itself is beautiful, it’s interior dark and luxurious – mirroring the man beside you, who’s impatiently tapping his finger on your wrist as the elevator makes its way down to collect you.
“Could always just take the stairs.” You snort, Jungkook’s jaw is clenched so tightly you fear it might snap and he’d only been stood waiting less than twenty seconds. “Who’s being impatient now?”
“It would take too long, my penthouse is on the top floor.” He doesn’t look at you as he speaks, still watching the numbers drop one by one until finally the elevator dings. You’re pretty certain he sighed in relief as the doors opened, forcing you to suppress a giggle.
“Of course you live in a penthouse apartment.” You mumble, stepping over the threshold into the golden cage. Having been busy during the journey here you’d forgotten all about who Jungkook really was, it wasn’t until he pressed ‘P’ and the doors closed that he decides to remind you.
Before you know it your back is being smashed against the back wall, his arms caging you in as he rests his palms either side of your head – sinking his lips to meet yours with such desperation it surprises you. The kiss is mind-blowing, his tongue swirls against yours with enough pressure to bruise, he’s spreading your legs with his thigh before you pull away from his mouth.
“Just so you know this is only happening once.” You hold up a single digit, trying to catch your breath, “I’m really not interested in being your sugar baby.”
“The fact you’re still here suggests otherwise.” His gaze is dark, “You could’ve left at any point or asked my driver to drop you home, instead you let me fuck you with my fingers in the backseat.”
He crashes his lips to yours once more, teasingly nibbling at your lower lip because he’s quickly figured out that you like it. A choked moan betrays you as he presses his thigh to your core, “I want you now. Fuck me now. Please.”
“You can wait five minutes.” Jungkook’s words are a stern warning as he exhales at your needy request, planting kisses along your jaw up to your earlobe. “I promise it’ll be worth it.” He whispers.
“Fuck me Jungkook, fuck me right here,” You drag your hand down his muscular body, gripping his already rock hard cock through his trousers, “Right now.”
At this a possessive growl rumbles in his chest, he pulls back to watch you, “You’re such a dirty little slut. Want me to fuck you right here?” He mirrors your actions, replacing his thigh with his right palm, cupping your soaked underwear, “Right now?”
The elevator announces your arrival before you can properly answer him, heat flooding your abdomen at the prospect of finally being fully alone with him. He’s tugging you inside the most expensive looking apartment you’ve ever seen in your life before he stops you in front of a wall to ceiling mirror to the left side of his living area.
“You sure you wanna do this?” He kisses you again, this time it’s sweet and soft and makes you go dizzy.
“Fuck yes.” You whimper against his lips, hands hurriedly ridding him of his suit jacket and tossing it somewhere behind him. You’ve unbuttoned three of his shirt buttons when he orders you to turn around and face the mirror.
Jungkook sinks to the floor and helps remove your heels, instantly making you three inches shorter than he’d got used to – he’s towering over you now, in the mirror the top of your head is just about level with his chin. You look good next to each other, like a well-suited celebrity couple you’d see plastered all over social media any day of the week. Your chest swells at the sight, and you have to remind yourself that this is a one time thing. You are not going to get caught up in the whirlwind that is Jeon Jungkook, no matter how gorgeous he is.
“Are you on the pill?” He asks calmly, unbuckling his black LV belt behind you.
“No.” You breathe out, “But I don’t fuck anybody without protection.”
You watch his tongue poke the inside of his cheek through the mirror, he nods his head, “You really are going against every rule of mine tonight.” He quickly plucks a condom from his wallet, keeping it in his left hand as he unzips your dress with his right.
If he notices that the price tag is still on the garment he’s kind enough to not say anything as it pools your bare feet. Stepping out of the fabric you kick it to one side, avoiding your own body in the mirror as you focus on his. He’s still fully clothed when he closes the distance between your bodies, his hard chest hot against your back.
Jungkook is watching you in the mirror, displayed for him in nothing more than matching lacey black underwear. His jaw is set tight, eyes hungrily exploring your exposed curves before his fingertips expertly unhook your bra and it falls to the floor.
“You’re perfect.” He hums against your shoulder as he nips at your bare flesh, “And all mine.” He buries the condom in his pocket and snakes his hands round your middle to cup your breasts, thumbs grazing your hardening nipples.
“Fuck…” Your head lolls back, giving him more skin to decorate with wet desperate kisses as he continues to tweak your sensitive nubs. “Jungkook… I-,”
It’s impossible to get any words out while he’s making you feel this good, any words you try to say get lost somewhere in the back of your throat. Your body is warm, tingling with pleasure while he ogles at the sight of you begging to be fucked.
“Remind me, why did you stop me in the car?” His tone is deadly serious.
“I want to come-,” You’re cut off by a surprised gasp when he pushes your thong to one side with one hand, unceremoniously plunging two fingers deep into your throbbing pussy from behind.
“Use your words.”
“I want to come around your cock-” You manage to choke out between ragged breaths, Jungkook hums at the sight of you unravelling in front of him. Something about being almost completely naked while he was fully dressed makes your abdomen tight, he’s so dominating and sexy you feel like you could explode at any moment.
“I don’t think you can take my cock just yet, you’re so tight baby.”
“I can! I can take it, please.” For the first time in your life you’re begging for a man, something no other person had ever reduced you to – and you’re enjoying it.
He’s pumping his digits in and out of you faster now, he’s knuckle deep inside you when he adds another finger to your soaking heat. The third finger makes your knees buckle, mouth wide open but no sound manages to find its way out.
“Hands on the mirror.” He walks you forward until your tits are pressed against the cold surface, further adding to your upcoming orgasm. Your hands are either side of your head, your right cheek ghosting the glass in front of you, “You really think you’re ready for me?” He pulls his fingers from you before sloppily massaging your clit.
“Yes-,” You shamelessly moan, to which he smirks. “I need you to fuck me now. Please.”
“Take these off.” He twangs the waistband of your tiny panties and gets to work freeing his cock from his clothes, rolling the condom down his shaft.
You’re kicking your drenched thong away when an agitated sigh escapes you, “Hurry up, just fuck me.” Your spread your legs wider and push your ass back to meet his crotch.
“So impatient,” He’s amused, “What was the second thing you were worried about baby?”
“What? I can’t remember Jungkook just hurry up and fuck me, please.” You’re looking up at him desperately through the mirror, he’s smirking wickedly as he lowers his lips to your ear.
“No, not til you tell me the second thing that’s stopping you accepting my offer.” He chuckles.
You feel small beneath his gaze and it’s turning you on, you’ve never known someone so naturally assertive before, especially in the bedroom. Not like this, no man you’d ever been with even compares to this night.
“You might have a tiny-“
Your sentence is cut short by the biggest cock you’ve ever taken plunging deep inside you, your knees buckle under your weight before Jungkook wraps one strong arm around your waist and holds you up. His face is contorted with a cocktail of intense pleasure and a shit-eating arrogant smile.
“What was that? Hm? Use your words.”
“Doesn’t matter,” You throw your head back against his chest, your breasts sinfully pushed up on display in front of him. “Definitely not the case.”
“Good to know.” He chuckles, burying himself deeper inside you, “I’m gonna fuck you so good, how a woman like you deserves to be fucked.”
“Oh god.” You hiss, your breath making small white clouds on the shiny surface in front of you. Your hands ball into tight fists as he pulls back and slams himself back into you.
A shaky sigh leaves his lips at the feeling of your walls tightening around his thick cock, your body trying it’s best to adjust to his massive size. Gradually he builds up a steady rhythm as he snaps his hips into your bare ass, it’s not fast nor slow but it’s deep, deeper than you’d anticipated – so much so you can feel him inside your stomach with each thrust.
“You’re so fucking wet for me.” His tone oozes seduction, further adding to your growing pleasure. “Best pussy I’ve ever had.”
Your eyes are squeezed shut in endless bliss, your body already addicted to the feeling of his huge cock fucking you into paradise. You catch a glimpse of him in the mirror, he’s biting down on his lower lip to suppress his own moans, wanting to focus on the sound of yours.
“Touch yourself.” He orders from behind.
“What?”
“Rub that pretty little clit for me baby, til you come all over my cock, just like you wanted.” His voice is croaky, stifled groans and countless profanities betraying him with every roll of his hips.
“I don’t think-“
“Wasn’t asking.” He thrusts into you particularly hard as a warning, you cry out into the open space as the beginnings of tears cloud your vision. Nobody has ever been this deep inside you before, and you’re utterly obsessed with the feeling. “Touch yourself.”
You quickly do as he requests and reach down to your swollen clit with one hand, your pussy is dripping with arousal, so much so it’s spilling out and travelling down your thighs. With your head resting on his chest and your free hand still against the mirror you begin rubbing yourself.
“That’s it baby, just like that.”
The feeling of his thick length repeatedly plunging into you mixed with the new sensation of your fingers ignites a fire inside you, you’re almost sobbing from the overstimulation.
“Jungkook, oh-, oh my god…” You bite down on your lip hard enough to bruise, “This feels…”
“Do you like it baby? Like watching yourself get fucked in my mirror?”
“Yes-“
“You know, fuck-, this doesn’t have to be the only time we do this. Mmmph, I could fuck you every day.”
“Mmm, me too.” Your tits bounce with every movement, he picks up the pace and begins to drill into you relentlessly. “Please, I’m so close-“
“Come for me Y/N, I want to feel you come.”
The sound of your name leaving his lips between guttural moans is enough to push you over the edge, submerging you into euphoria and making you squeeze around his girth as you shrieked, finally coming all over him. It’s a good job Jungkook is holding you in place because you don’t have the physical strength to stand anymore, your body in complete ecstasy as he helps you ride out your high.
“Your pussy’s so fucking tight,” His head lolls back as his grip on your waist tightens, “I’m gonna come baby, you’re gonna make me come.”
You watch him in the mirror, his hooded gaze fixed solely on your bouncing curves as his thrusts turn sloppy and rough. His dark hair sticking to his sweat-beaded forehead, his lip trapped between his teeth, his muscles battling with his clothes as they threaten to burst through the material at any given moment.
“Fuck!” A hoarse growl rumbles in his chest as he bottoms out, pushing every last inch of his member deep inside your throbbing cunt. He looks breath-taking as he rides out his own high, hot come spitting out of his cock in bursts.
“Baby…” He mumbles against the crook of your neck, “You’re amazing.”
You offer a breathy laugh in response, still sensitive and beginning to feel sore as you pull away from his body, his cock falls out of your walls as you turn to face him. You’re more than prepared to sign any piece of paper for a man who can fuck you like that.
“So about this contract,” You push the damp hair away from his face. He’s looking down at you with hope evident in his eyes, his own hand finding purchase on the back of your neck as he pulls you in closer, “If you can add a clause that promises to fuck me like that every time, I might be interested after all.”
“Like I said,” He pants, pressing his lips to yours, “I knew I could convince you otherwise.”
x
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Text
Adobe steals your color
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When a company breaks a product you rely on — wrecking decades of work — it’s natural to feel fury. Companies know this, so they try to deflect your rage by blaming their suppliers. Sometimes, it’s suppliers who are at fault — but other times, there is plenty of blame to go around.
For example, when Apple deleted all the working VPNs from its Chinese App Store and backdoored its Chinese cloud servers, it blamed the Chinese government. But the Chinese state knew that Apple had locked its devices so that its Chinese customers couldn’t install third-party apps.
That meant that an order to remove working VPNs and apps that used offshore clouds from the App Store would lock Apple customers into Chinese state surveillance. The order to block privacy tools was a completely foreseeable consequence of Apple’s locked-down “ecosystem.”
https://locusmag.com/2021/01/cory-doctorow-neofeudalism-and-the-digital-manor/
In 2013, Adobe started to shift its customers to the cloud, replacing apps like Photoshop and Illustrator with “Software as a Service” (“SaaS”) versions that you would have to pay rent on, every month, month after month, forever. It’s not hard to understand why this was an attractive proposition for Adobe!
Adobe, of course, billed its SaaS system as good for its customers — rather than paying thousands of dollars for its software up front, you could pay a few dollars (anywhere from $10-$50) every month instead. Eventually, of course, you’d end up paying more, assuming these were your professional tools, which you expected to use for the rest of your life.
For people who work in prepress, a key part of their Adobe tools is integration with Pantone. Pantone is a system for specifying color-matching. A Pantone number corresponds to a specific tint that’s either made by mixing the four standard print colors (cyan, magenta, yellow and black, AKA “CMYK”), or by applying a “spot” color. Spot colors are added to print jobs after the normal CMYK passes — if you want a stripe of metallic gold or a blob of hot pink, you specify its Pantone number and the printer loads up a separate ink and runs your media through its printer one more time.
Pantone wants to license this system out, so it needs some kind of copyrightable element. There aren’t many of these in the Pantone system! There’s the trademark, but that’s a very thin barrier. Trademark has a broad “nominative use” exception: it’s not a trademark violation to say, “Pantone 448C corresponds to the hex color #4a412a.”
Perhaps there’s a copyright? Well yes, there’s a “thin” database copyright on the Pantone values and their ink equivalents. Anyone selling a RIP or printer that translates Pantone numbers to inks almost certainly has to license Pantone’s copyright there. And if you wanted to make an image-editing program that conveyed the ink data to a printer, you’d best take a license.
All of this is suddenly relevant because it appears that things have broken down between Adobe and Pantone. Rather than getting Pantone support bundled in with your Adobe apps, you must now pay $21/month for a Pantone plugin.
https://twitter.com/funwithstuff/status/1585850262656143360
Remember, Adobe’s apps have moved to the cloud. Any change that Adobe makes in its central servers ripples out to every Adobe user in the world instantaneously. If Adobe makes a change to its apps that you don’t like, you can’t just run an older version. SaaS vendors like to boast that with cloud-based apps, “you’re always running the latest version!”
The next version of Adobe’s apps will require you to pay that $21/month Pantone fee, or any Pantone-defined colors in your images will render as black. That’s true whether you created the file last week or 20 years ago.
Doubtless, Adobe will blame Pantone for this, and it’s true that Pantone’s greed is the root cause here. But this is an utterly foreseeable result of Adobe’s SaaS strategy. If Adobe’s customers were all running their apps locally, a move like this on Pantone’s part would simply cause every affected customer to run older versions of Adobe apps. Adobe wouldn’t be able to sell any upgrades and Pantone wouldn’t get any license fees.
But because Adobe is in the cloud, its customers don’t have that option. Adobe doesn’t have to have its users’ backs because if it caves to Pantone, users will still have to rent its software every month, and because that is the “latest version,” those users will also have to rent the Pantone plugin every month — forever.
What’s more, while there may not be any licensable copyright in a file that simply says, “Color this pixel with Pantone 448C” (provided the program doesn’t contain ink-mix descriptions), Adobe’s other products — its RIPs and Postscript engines — do depend on licensable elements of Pantone, so the company can’t afford to tell Pantone to go pound sand.
Like the Chinese government coming after Apple because they knew that any change that Apple made to its service would override its customers’ choices, Pantone came after Adobe because they knew that SaaS insulated Adobe from its customers’ wrath.
Adobe customers can’t even switch to its main rival, Figma. Adobe’s just dropped $20b to acquire that company and ensure that its customers can’t punish it for selling out by changing vendors.
Pantone started out as a tech company: a way to reliably specify ink mixes in different prepress houses and print shops. Today, it’s an “IP” company, where “IP” means “any law or policy that allows me to control the conduct of my customers, critics or competitors.”
https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/
That’s likewise true of Adobe. The move to SaaS is best understood as a means to exert control over Adobe’s customers and competitors. Combined with anti-competitive killer acquisitions that gobble up any rival that manages to escape this control, and you have a hostage situation that other IP companies like Pantone can exploit.
A decade or so ago, Ginger Coons created Open Colour Standard, an attempt to make an interoperable alternative to Pantone. Alas, it seems dormant today:
http://adaptstudio.ca/ocs/
Owning colors is a terrible idea and technically, it’s not possible to do so. Neither UPS Brown nor John Deere Green are “owned” in any meaningful sense, but the companies certainly want you to believe that they are. Inspired by them and Pantone, people with IP brain-worms keep trying to turn colors into property:
https://onezero.medium.com/crypto-copyright-bdf24f48bf99
The law is clear that colors aren’t property, but by combining SaaS, copyright, trademark, and other tech and policies, it is becoming increasingly likely that some corporation will stealing the colors out from under our very eyes.
[Image ID: A Pantone swatchbook; it slowly fades to grey, then to black.]
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chloeangelic · 4 months
Note
Why does it seem like everything you've put out lately is just trying to rip off netherfeildren? Like the art, the plots, the aesthetics... Especially weird since you used to seem to always hype them up
I went back and forth on responding to this but I’ve decided to because I don’t appreciate having my integrity questioned. I kind of expected that I'd get something like this because there are some thematic similarities between Seeking and SWITBOSH. However, I won’t respond publicly to anything else like this cause I think we’re all very over The Discourse, and tbh it’s a massive fucking insult to accuse me of ripping someone off when I’ve spent seven months writing ca 200k words of fic and developing my own unique style of writing. If you can’t see the difference between two writers, just because they write emotional depth and full sentences, then please read an actual book and not just brainrot fic. I’m gonna properly address everything under the cut - anon domming is back on the menu today. 
That being said, because this feels weird and uncomfortable for me and likely for Vic, I’m turning off anons for the time being and I’m taking a posting break to decide whether I want to continue posting here at all or continue posting purely on AO3. I post there anyways under the same name. If you still have a bone to pick with me or my writing, please message me directly. Please do NOT pester Vic about this, I know very well that she does not enjoy The Discourse or any sort of drama. Everyone is sick of the copying discourse - please have some trust in writers’ self awareness. 
Firstly, the words “recently” and “plots” should be defined here - I personally don’t see how stepdaddy Joel, pornstar Tim, sex addict Dieter, baby daddy Javi or any of Love Me back is similar to her works at all. The Seeking teaser I posted yesterday was similar to her Pink teasers purely because it had text on a photo - my text wasn’t even from the fic, it was a quote that represented the series as a whole and the quote that finally made the series crystallize in my head. It’s the quote I want people to have in the back of their mind when they go into reading it - it’s from the song that I consider the series theme. Our formatting is not the same. Yes, I have quotes at the beginning of the chapters - my friend sent me a bunch of poems and a couple, I felt were relevant to the story so I wanted to add them somehow. Several writers do this. I stopped putting in previews above the cut cause it was making it difficult for me to write the beginning of the chapters. My masterlist art is the same as, like.. Everyone’s else’s masterlist post - the norm on here is to have an artwork from Pinterest, the title slapped on top and the writer’s name. I literally just loved Pascalisbaby’s masterlist art so much I decided to do it too. 
When you say plots, I’m assuming you’re drawing parallels between Seeking what is desirable and Someone’s Wife in the Boat of Someone’s Husband because cheater!Joel (or maybe even Pink cause DDLG, but I’m literally in a DDLG-type dynamic irl and I decided to incorporate it into a fic for once - there were CLEAR ddlg undertones in Love Me Back, it just wasn’t explicit. I also wrote several chapters of Seeking before Pink even came out, and I wrote a cheating + father in law oneshot this summer). 
The MC in Seeking is based on myself and my own life, moving away from my parents in order to live with my boyfriend at the time very far away, who ended up being extremely absent and shitty. MC+Jeremiah relationship is based on Adam and Hermine from EXIT, Jeremiah is based on Tony Soprano, Gwen is based on Janice Soprano + a story I heard from my cousin about how his wife let him do all the childcare while she went on a women’s retreat. They are not in a marriage of convenience, the MC doesn’t feel bad about the affair at all, she never pushes him away, and Gwen has no plans on leaving. Sarah and Ellie are both 16 and living with Joel in Seeking. The MC does not have similarities to Sarah like she does in Love Me Back (which was also literally based on my own life) or Someone’s.
MC is a teacher who cheats with Joel - so is the MC in my post outbreak series I wrote many months ago. They're drawn to each other immediately cause I hate slow burn fics and I didn't feel like writing two chapters of him fucking someone else this time around. She goes out intending to cheat, and he thinks it'll sustain him for the next several years. The first thing I thought up in this entire series was Jeremiah - I had his character crystallized in my head for weeks before I planned anything else.
Of course Joel is unhappy in his marriage - neither Vic or myself would write a Joel who cheats for fun, that’s just not something either of us finds interesting. It actually started as a Sopranos AU, but I decided against going that route cause I don’t know enough about white collar crime. Also, if you are familiar with my writing you’ll know I love writing infidelity - it shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m writing a series with this as the central theme. The central question for Seeking is when is it okay to cheat? That’s what the entire fic is about. It’s not about him finding the love of his life after marrying someone else (like the summary of Someone’s), it’s about two instances of cheating and how we justify those two scenarios. Of course it has a happy ending - I’ve used up my non-happy ending quota for the year. 
I’m not sure what you mean by aesthetics - Vic actually edits really nice graphics for all of her Mando chapters. She spends a bunch of time on those, and you’re doing a disservice to her by overlooking how unique her artwork is and how much effort it takes. She also made really cool teasers for Pink. I’m way too lazy for any of that, I just slam a moodboard together. I started doing 3 slot moodboards cause the 6-7 slot ones were a hassle. The fact that only art pieces are used in this series is half coincidence, half me being sick of trying to fit Pedro pics into the moodboards when the colors are often wrong. 
I literally texted with her when I planned this series, saying I was afraid people would accuse it of being a ripoff of Someone’s, purely due to the Joel infidelity + uninterested wife factor, and she did not think the overall plot was similar enough to be of concern. I still hype her up, she just doesn’t post as often now so I don’t reblog as often, that’s pretty simple. I’ve also asked Iris, my editor, SEVERAL TIMES if it reads too similar to Someone’s or anything Vic has written - she is extremely familiar with both of our works and she did not think so. What exactly am I supposed to do when I’ve gotten the green light from everyone? 
This specific anon didn’t mention the actual writing, though, which is funny and it makes sense because I don’t write like Vic and I don’t try to. Her vocabulary is way larger than mine, the diction and syntax are not similar at all. She actually uses metaphors, I use them very rarely and only when it’s super dramatic. My writing isn’t poetic, it’s not flowery, it’s not formal - it’s literally just how I think inside my own head. When I read my own writing, I imagine Charles Gross doing a dramatic reading. I learn like one new word every month and eventually I’ll add it to my writing when it’s something I’m confident using irl. She has a lot of depth to her fics, I also try to write with emotional depth - I’m sorry if that’s unfamiliar in a landscape of dbf porn with no plot and 5 word sentences (I’m shading my own first series here). Seeking reads more similar to the first series I ever wrote, which I never posted, than anything else I’ve written. Half of Seeking is also straight up daydreaming sequences cause that’s literally how I think - the MC lives a boring life and daydreams, so do I. 
I’ve learned a ton from reading Vic’s stuff - I don’t read that much irl cause I rarely find English novels captivating, but her writing has really made an impression on me. I talk constantly about how much her writing makes me cry, and it really does. Reading her stuff has absolutely influenced me to be more confident about weaving in actions and little plot points that are more vulnerable and personal to myself, and that adds a lot of depth it otherwise wouldn’t. I’m very inspired by her, of course I am - but I know the difference between being inspired and trying to leech. 
I’m sorry my writing style has developed. I’m sorry I no longer write like I did in April, with matter-of-factly short sentences and little emotional depth. I have short series and long series because some plots deserve more emotional depth and some don’t need it. I wouldn’t bother writing anymore if all I did was shady lawyer Joel or Father Joel and I never improved. 
If you don’t enjoy my writing, please just unfollow. I’ve seen other fics on this platform that read similar to mine, some that have exactly the same plot points/origin stories, and at no point have I thought they were ripping me off. At some point, this specific fandom needs to realize that it’s possible for two writers to have similar ideas without it being one person copying the other. My personal opinion is that if you copy someone’s plot, you won’t be able to execute it well because you don’t have the ideas necessary to actually flesh it out. If you’re familiar with my writing, you know damn well I’m capable of coming up with my own ideas and plots. I feel zero need to rip other people's in order to gain traction - I have enough followers and idgaf how many notes anything gets. Please don’t overestimate my ability to give a fuck about my popularity in this fandom. 
Anyways, thanks for making me want to vomit, anon, you truly made me feel like shit today and I hope you have a great night! I’m not sure how much I’ll be checking tumblr for a while so feel free to message me on discord under the same name.
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explodingsilver · 4 months
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Book review: Nightbane by Alex Aster
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Lightlark…2!
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I’ve already made my thoughts on the first book quite clear (read that review first if you haven’t already; I don’t feel like rehashing all the context), and were I a bit more sensible, I would have stayed away from its sequel. I am, however, somewhat of a literary masochist, so of course I borrowed this from Hoopla the day it was released (November 7th, not too long ago). Very pleased that I was able to write this review much faster than the first one, though this review is shorter, at only 2,100 words long. Was the experience worth it? I don’t know, you tell me.
(There are spoilers ahead, on the off chance that you care)
The plot and style
After the events of the first book, Isla is trying to learn her several powers as well as get a hold of this “leading two different realms” thing while trying to move on from getting betrayed by four different people she used to love. At a celebration for a Wildling holiday (in which no Wildlings other than herself are in attendance), Grim magically crashes the party from afar and announces that the Nightshade army will destroy Lightlark in thirty days. The other realms start preparing for the invasion, and Isla tries to recover all her lost memories of being with Grim in hope that they will reveal what his goal is and how to stop him, especially after receiving a prophetic vision of him standing in the ruins of a village he destroyed with his powers.
Put simply, if the plot of the first book is split between “Isla and Celeste search for a MacGuffin” and “Isla and Oro search for a different MacGuffin”, this book is split between “Isla and Oro do basic defense building stuff” and “Isla remembers the time she and Grim searched for a third MacGuffin”. There’s also a subplot about a rebel group trying to capture Isla, but this is inconsequential and could’ve been dropped entirely.
It feels like there was an attempt to address some of the criticism of the first book, but not nearly enough of an attempt. On the one hand, metaphor usage has improved to the point where it actually feels like it was written by a human being and not a neural network (no throbbing and raw glaciers this time around), the book acknowledges that no longer having a power no one else had in the first place is less bad than having a maximum lifespan of 25, and Isla realizes that Grim let her win the duel in the first book and that she did not win against a 500+ year old army general on the strength of her own skill. On the other hand, it does not address questions like “how does Starling society even function if none of them ever live to 26?” or “if Oro always knows when someone is lying, why didn’t he call bullshit the moment Celeste said ‘Hi, my name is Celeste’?”
Speaking of that last thing: I didn’t mention it in my review of the first book because it didn’t really feel relevant to anything, but each ruler has a ‘flair’, a special power that is unique to them. Oro’s is that he can always tell when someone is lying. Grim’s is that he can teleport. This book reveals that Isla’s is that she is immune to curses. Glad to finally have an answer to one of my biggest questions of the first book (checks notes) 75% of the way through the second one, when this explanation should’ve been given the moment we learned the original stated reason does not apply.
Wildling elixir and its (lack of) consequences
Much of this book centers around the presence of the Wildling elixir from the first book, a potion that is super effective at healing wounds. As you might imagine, this kills a lot of the tension. Used in conjunction with Isla’s magical teleportation device, “teleport away, use Wildling elixir, teleport back” becomes an easy way to recover when the characters get their flesh ripped apart. And indeed, they do this all the time! The book tries to nerf this strategy by stating that the elixir is rare due to the flower used to make it being rare, but 1) this is at odds with Isla’s very liberal use of it, and 2) aren’t the Wildlings the “make flowers grow instantly” people? Why can’t they just use those powers on it like they do for every other plant?
There was a bit of potential for an interesting theme with these flowers: Isla eventually learns that while the Wildlings use them to make the healing elixir, the Nightshades use those exact same flowers to make the titular nightbane, which is basically fantasy heroin. I was intrigued by this motif (I like it when things have a dual nature like that), but unfortunately this doesn’t really go anywhere, other than some vague gesturing at “wow, just like Isla”. Speaking of Isla…
Isla
This time around, Isla is clearly traumatized by the events of the last book, trusts very few people, and is aware that she is in over her head with leading two realms full of subjects she barely knows while also being the king’s unofficial consort. Not a bad start for a character arc, but in effect, she has gone from naive and impulsive to naive, impulsive, and guilty about those things while making little effort to amend them. It feels like her attitude towards leadership is basically “I’m allowed to call myself a bad leader but nobody is allowed to agree with me on that.”
Much of Isla’s internal conflict in this book is based around her Nightshade heritage on her father's side. She is convinced that there is an inherently evil part of her because her father was from the Inherently Evil Realm. This may not come as a surprise, but I do not like when stories have such a thing as an Inherently Evil Realm. Not only does Nightshade fill this role, but the book never even gestures at pushing back against Isla’s conviction that her heritage taints her, and in fact ends up affirming it.
This book really told me to my face that Isla is the first person in millennia to have both Wildling and Nightshade powers. I do not buy that even for a moment. Maybe my disbelief is because the series discarded the “only one realm’s power set per person, even if their parents are from different realms” thing in the same book it was introduced, and I would expect there to be Wildling/Nightshade couples way more often than once per few millennia. But no, that highly plausible thing can’t happen because then Isla won’t be the most special person currently alive!
The other characters
Sadly, the rest of the cast did not improve, and in some instances, got worse.
Oro going from "world weary, distant king" to "official love interest" has unfortunately sanded down all his interesting aspects, and everything I liked about his character in the first book now takes a backseat to being overly protective of Isla and making stock Love Interests threats to kill anyone who hurts her. I swear, he turned so generic that some of his lines were indistinguishable from something Grim would say. But hey, if nothing else, he at least didn’t get character assassinated like I was sure he would!
While Grim actually does stuff in this book, he still has no personality traits other than what's included in the Sexy Villain Starter Pack. Like, it actually upsets me that he's such an absolute nothing of a character. Everything about him begins and ends with “what if the villain…was sexy?”, and there are about a morbillion stories out there that provide more interesting answers to this question. You’d think focusing on him this much would be the perfect opportunity to give him any unique traits at all, but Aster certainly did not take that opportunity, nor did she ever answer the question of why he likes Isla, despite the sheer number of pages dedicated to their relationship.
As for everyone else? Azul, our beloved token gay black man who runs his realm like a democracy, still receives woefully little page time. Cleo, the bitchy ruler who hates Isla for no reason, receives even less, but at least we get to hear about her dead son, I guess. Ella, Isla's Starling assistant, is mentioned so rarely I wonder if Aster forgot she exists. There are also several new average citizen characters introduced, but none of them are remotely interesting. They're all defined solely by whether or not they're on Isla's side. It says something when the best new character is Isla's new animal companion (a panther named Lynx, who rules because he does not give a shit about Isla).
The chili pepper emoji, as the TikTokers call it
Because I must do as the book did and address the topic of sex before I get to the final important bits.
This book is much hornier than the first one, but in a way that makes large parts of it feel like one of those dreams where you're trying to have sex with someone but your attempts keep getting interrupted. I regret that I did not count the number of times Isla was about to fuck someone and then got denied for some reason or another.
There are three times she actually succeeds, and luckily these scenes do not read like they were written by Sarah J. Maas, despite her obvious influence on everything else. This doesn't seem like much of a compliment, but this series needs all the W’s it can get. That's not to say everything is fine, though. There's one scene that's obviously using all the "first time" stuff for characterization, and I can't help but feel this would be more effective had they not already slept together a few short chapters beforehand? Like c’mon, all you had to do was switch the order of those two scenes.
The ending
Shortly before the Nightshade army is set to storm the island and destroy it, Isla learns Grim’s (and Cleo’s) real motivation for doing so: there’s a portal on the island leading to another world, one in which the original founders of Lightlark came from before making Lightlark in the image of the world they left. Grim and Cleo want to open that portal and reach the other world, which will just so happen to destroy the island. They’re not actually trying to kill everyone for the evulz. Isla, in her naivety, accidentally opens it for them before they even arrive.
During the final battle, while trying to steal Grim's powers so she can kill him and save Lightlark, Isla finally remembers the last two important memories: 1) she and Grim actually got married right before he memory-wiped her, and 2) what she thought was a prophetic vision of him killing an entire village was actually a memory of her doing so. Convinced that she'll accidentally kill Oro if she stays with him, she agrees to go with Grim, whom she just realized she is still in love with, in exchange for a promise that he'll withdraw the attack.
I cannot remember the last time I had this strong of an "are you fucking kidding me" reaction to the end of a book. But after some thinking, I decided that it actually makes for some great tragedy material. “Traumatized woman with a supportive partner becomes convinced that she’s too horrible to be with him and goes back to her terrible husband” would make for a good story if this was a more grounded book written by anyone else. Alas, this concept just had to be tackled here.
I also naively thought that because the deal was for two books, that means this would be a duology. But it feels like there will be a third book, and I'm hoping there is, not out of any desire for more (unsure how much more I can take), but because it would be straight-up authorial malpractice to end the series on that note.
Conclusion
This honestly wasn’t quite as bad as the first book, but the problems that persisted outweighed the ones that got fixed, and the severe case of Middle Book Syndrome certainly did not help its case. It’s a very small improvement stylistically, but when the nicest things I can say about it are “there were some concepts that could’ve made for an interesting story in the hands of a better author” and “the sex scenes aren’t atrocious” and “the cat is kinda cool”, then I feel justified in calling it terrible overall. It’s a good thing that Lightlark…3! is presumably a long ways away, because I will need all that time to recover from having read this.
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panelshowsource · 6 months
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If you had to pick a top three favorite episodes of any panel shows EVER, which would you choose? One of mine would have to be Terry Wogan guest hosting old NMTB, which I am dying to watch again in my lifetime. Your old-NMTB-posting reminded me just how amazing and formative those old episodes were for me. Anyway, it got me thinking… I would love to hear yours!
as long as i'm allowed to answer this totally subjectively...! because the objectively most iconic panel show episodes are probably quite different to the ones i gravitate to especially for rewatching — and especially in this difficult recent climate 🫥
this choice is almost bizarre knowing me, a huge huge huge sean lock fan, but this episode of cats does countdown — without sean! and not even golden era, probably, whatever that is in my mind — is so ridiculous and chaotic and stupid that i've watched it about 1000 times. there's something very specific about the dynamic between jimmy, jon, roisin, and joe without sean; those four have been in quite a few episodes without sean and they're like actual children without an adult in the room: jon is goofier and completely lets go of the game, jimmy throws even more to roisin (we do not talk enough about what a fucking kick jimmy gets out of her), roisin and joe's insane sibling dynamic becomes next level. anyways—this episode, which includes rly funny mascots, glory hole, the fucking hoop game and joe eating an onion and jon eating peppers???, THE UNICORN, its sheer childishness just cracks me up every time :') (if we're gonna mention the golden age, 2.02 is very iconic — from rhod killin it and always arguing with jimmy to claude to nick x susie hahaha but i have sooooo many catsdown episodes i love love love)
i really love the episode of 8 out of 10 cats following jimmy's tax scandal. it's not one of my favourite panel shows in general, but the circumstances of the news and the discussion epitomised what the show was meant to be: panel show meets reality tv meets a comedy central roast. watching that live, as the news was running it so heavily that even the prime minister mentioned it, as the press and twitter were reacting to it... wild times. it holds up incredibly well — it's hilarious watching them rip him to shreds, because he deserves every word and they're having a ball doing it to him, and i really appreciate jon grounding the conversation in just how tax avoidance hurts their country and some of its hardest workers — a really interesting, engaging mix of comedy and anger and wit and disappointment and political commentary that is not only funny but strikingly relevant no matter how much time passes. like so, so many people who were so, so disappointed in jimmy, this was the foundation of his carrying the responsibility, shame, reflection, and growth that people wanted to see — and that he truly needed to. since then he's talked a lot about not only righting the wrong (in paying back what he owed in avoidance) but just how the system is so broken — and taking the least complicated, most honest road forward since.
now i want to pick 1000 different things this is why i don't make lists or rank things!!!!! while my instinct is to pick a big fat quiz, i'm actually gonna go top-level nostalgia and say this episode of buzzcocks when stephen fry was a guest. what can i say — simon, stephen, it was two intellectual, mildly bitchy homosexuals on a stacked panel including josie long, dominic cooper, and yet another skinny white rock man for simon to pretend he's not trying to flirt with. stephen saying "there is a history, in pop music, of recto-veginal insertion" and denouncing god, like, in the first 5 minutes? stephen doing the intros round?? did i mention history boys-era dominic cooper??? such a throwback!!! (not to cheat but this ep with josh groban & martin freeman is my runner up)
i want to apologise to big fat quiz, taskmaster, wilty... THE WHOLE HISTORY OF PANEL SHOWS... I WISH I COULD CHOOSE YOU ALL
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