#why must you all do this to me?

[cowardlykrow]

“Not my circus, not my monkeys”… Except those are his monkeys and they are the circus

#Okay so i think the idea is that Lautski is on a date and the terror duo were ABSOLUTELY stalking them #because of course they would #but (if they weren't already being the most obvious stalkers) they get caught #because then the seagulls descended #but listen okay #Why they attack (and how on earth they carried that weeb away) is up to you guys #because i dunno #i’m just here to make nonsense comics that give me a good chuckle #NPMD #nerdy prudes must die #for some reason i gave them different clothes sorta?is it obvi i dont have a sense of style at all #Pete Spankoffski #Stephanie Lauter #Richie Lipschitz #Ruth Fleming #Also i don’t know why but when it comes to drawing comics #i forget who anatomy is #i seriously don’t know her #esp when it comes to arms? Lord do i hate arms #Art #fanart #Also this whole comic stems from a story about seagulls stealing sausage links? #that's all i got for you #also im so sorry steph my beloved #i can not draw you at all and this is a curse i carry like a ball and chain #starkid #hatchetfield #//Komic

[prahacat]

when the horrors catch up and you take an evening off to batch-process

#obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #maybe obi-wan just read the outline for the next wip #why do i love to torture him so #one of my fav fanfic genres has to be meta fic horror #just imagine. how deeply disturbing it must be to find out you're a fictional character #somebody has *intentionally* written all those horrors onto you #and it wasn't even the guy who created you #he did his part. but the ppl who love it most to ruin your life and see you suffer are your fans #it's not enough that there's prob a lot of jedi rpf around in the gffa already. scarred obi-wan for life #lmao drawing anakin like this gave me so many flashbacks to my old ocs where almost every male character had that hair #also i have a job interview in one hour dsdsfhjgj #my art #prahacat draws

[uncanny-tranny]

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

#diet culture #diet culture tw #described images #image description in alt #'it's got CHEMICALS in it' and so do you! and me too! IT'S ALL CHEMICALS ALL THE WAY DOWN #instead of running from this world we must learn to embrace it #i'm not particularly angry at people who say this because it makes me think that they're incredibly invested in diet culture... #...i just don't want the whole 'food = bad' or 'bodies = bad' to go unchallenged... #...part of the reason why diet culture seems just as prevalent now (if not moreso) is partially because it isn't really... #...challenged or questioned without provocation. it's just assumed to be correct because it makes you 'feel in control' #when chemicals are bad you can control what chemicals you consume. it's individualistic and places the blame onto you for 'being good' #it places responsibility onto the person in such a way that it becomes impossible to fulfill #it isn't that i'm upset that people want to treat their bodies in a way they think is responsible... #...moreso that the *way* they go about it ensures that they're stuck in a cycle of self-blame and even self-hatred #because the METHOD is ineffective. not the desire to treat your body well #also the state of ohio looks stupid and i do Not respect it #it looks like a ball that is simultaneously deflated and over-inflated #also their state flag looks silly to me #it looks like the person who was making it fell asleep making it #i'm just clowning on ohio at this point. have never been to ohio but. are you guys okay

[allyriadayne]

ALICENT'S REBELLION

#house of the dragon #alicent hightower #alicenthightoweredit #hotd #hotdedit #houseofthedragonedit #welighttheway #gameofthronesdaily #dailyhotdgifs #mariana does things #*hotd #photoset #must a gif have purpose? is it not enough to see a beautiful face¸ huge? #was rewatching this episode on the weekend and gosh this moment is so good #emily carey is such a star. she acts best when she's paired against rhys ifans #i think this is the first time alicent consciously decides to separate herself from otto's wishes. this and in ep 9 when she finally #tell him their hearts were never one. this one is about her body (he's asking her if she will see the king that night!!) and in ep 9 #about her mind. she has aegon now she will make all decisions now #the bloody fingers is so visceral to me lol 'how it feels to be represented on screen?' fucking awful thanks. why do you destroy yourself?

[cerise-on-top]

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again #I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again #just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about #könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent #I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier #because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well #and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself? #I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right #it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too #but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write #I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to #was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then #so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important! #either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!

[lunarharp]

pretty & cute witch men

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i'm not drawing as much or as well as i'd like to be doing. i'm trying to get through a comic i've been really wanting to do #but i'm just finding it so hard. disheartening. btw the 2nd one relates to some official art of qif wearing a dress like the girls #and the 4th one relates to how i've been drawing EXTREMELY SMALL for years. idk how to explain it but i always clicked 'fit to screen' #and so all my art EVER has looked bad when you zoom in bc it's already like size 1 zoomed in to the MAX pfhgguguhfpfhGHAHHHHH #i was so confused allll this time why brushes always look different for me than what they're supposed to #'wow this brush is so jaggedy..really rather jaggedy...calling it the Jagged Cai Special..bringing it out for those jaggedy moments.. #really quite jaggedy i must say...' and it's literally not jaggedy #but now i have to get used to how all those brushes that i'd gotten used to indeed look how they're supposed to finally. Alarming #I have simply been working out absolutely everything by myself for years and that's why my technical progress is slow #ppl say my progress is fast and i certainly have improved much since i began doing all this but #like..it took me a year and half to start using a program where i could Colour In The Lines aka the..whatever it's called. whatever.. #just on my lonely confused solemn journey to express gay love better than yesterday.. -_- *picks up my pack n continues through the snow* #btw thank you sm for people's kind words enjoying my narumitsu art & fic over the christmas & new year period <3

[allmightyscroll-swag]

Shout-out to @onejellyfishplease for creating a fic that my brain latched onto so violently that I think of it on a weekly basis

Man, i can't imagine having the feeling of something literally buzzing under your skin writhing to be let out let out let out- being comfortable.

Original sketch below cut;

It was way more moody but I was like. no . The boy is overwhelmed the arts gotta be BRIGHT and EYESORE-y

#im not one to make fanart for fics i read #like. at all #i can't remember a time where a fic affected me so hard i drew something for it #but THIS? #THIS FIC? #oufufufh #scratch that actually. #this AUTHOR? #this ARTIST? #god im so emotional over their snapdonnie #LIKE??? WHY MUST YOU DO THAT TO HIM AND HIS FAM P L E A S E IM CRYING #i don't know how to draw body horror and overall gore but DAMN MAYBE THIS IS THE MOMENT I LEARN #just. god. i love all of their Donnie's so much. #all four of them. #id say I'm feral over it but that feels weird #i am in love tho #if you couldn't tell lmao #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rise donnie #donatello #scrolls art

[doki-doki-imagines]

Hiii! Love your work! So ever since that episode Chigiri calls Isagi attaboy, my brain has been just in there. So could I maybe get some good old, fast, maybe a little rough Chigiri calling reader Attagirl? Maybe a little bit of degradation too. Like being mean maybe

This man lives in my head tent free jdkdkd

“You dumb whore, instead of complaining can’t you put your mouth to better use?”

You knew from day one that Hyoma is a moody guy and you also learned how to deal with him, but today he really reached to apex, mood swinging back and forth and you were way too angry (and horny) to deal with it; thankfully Hyoma followed your lead.

Your mouth now kissing his boner through the fabric of his boxer, you can feel it twitch already, his hips grinding into your mouth begging to feel your mouth without any barrier.

It’s funny teasing Hyoma when he is in such a bad mood, but you are human too. You pull his dick out, usually, you would kiss the tip and lick slowly the shaft with the utmost care, but today isn’t the right one for such a nice treatment. You take as much as you can, moaning around the shaft.

“Ah finally” Hyoma groans. He then grips your hair, something he usually wouldn’t do, and forces you to take him all, your gags and tears make him just more aroused. He keeps you there for a second, enjoying the tightness of your throat, then let you go.

Tears running down your face and a string of spit connecting your abused mouth to his tip; a picture that is going to be framed in his head for a long time.

“Just say you wanted this from the start you bitch” A nasty snark escape his lips.

Hyoma grabs one of your hands and guides it to his thigh, a silent promise that he is gonna stop at the first tap, then he pulls your head again and starts fucking your face.

“You take it so well – You feel so good, fuck”  His words only spur you to do better, laving your tongue on the sides of the shaft as good as you can, your mouth making wet, sinful noises every thrust.

“K-keep going for a little bit more”

You nod, as best as you can since he is still keeping your head in place, the vibration making a delicious shiver run down his spine.

“Atta - attagirl” This time it’s your turn to feel the shiver; it is so good to be praised.

“Goddess, c-can I come on your face?” Hyoma moans, the aggressiveness of earlier almost vanished.

This time you don’t have time to answer, Hyoma already pulled out, jerking off at the sight of your tears, snot, and overall miserable face. A few more pumps and you found your lips and cheeks stained by strings of his cum.

“W-was it too much?”

“You were just perfect”

“Give me a minute and get on all fours, it’s time for me to reward my good girl.”

#bllk imagines #blue lock imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk smut #blue lock smut #chigiri hyoma #chigiri hyoma smut #chigiri hyoma x reader #the pain when you want to write a scene but don't know how to #hope it is good enough #also I think Hyoma is more into praising than degradation #with the knee problem his partner must do most of the work most times probably #Tell me if this is good beause everytime I write smut I feel like crying because I'm not able too #Probably after the Sae one everybody thought it is as easy for me as to breath fresh air but for real it isn't like this #also why I'm making banners gor request??? A-Am I changing!?!?!? #no way I'll do it for all the fandoms #even if I should because they look nicer even if I usually write dog-shit LOL #good luck with the chigiri brain rot #if you are like me he will stay in your head for the years to come good luck lol

[another-clive-blog]

HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS

LAYTON USES TU FOR FUTURE LUKE BUT SWITCHES TO VOUS THE SECOND CLIVE'S IDENTITY IS REVEALED.

Tu and vous both mean you but Tu implies closeness : in the entirety of Unwound Future, Layton only ever uses Tu with Flora, the Lukes and Claire

#I'm shaking crying throwing up #WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. #He immediately uses tu for Future Luke which is A LOT #In real life we often stumble trying to know which one to use because vous is distance but also respect like for a boss or teacher #(Everyone except Claire uses vous for Layton because he's a highly educated adult and a gentleman) #Layton must really appreciate and trust Luke. He immediately went 'Oh that's a Luke of course he's a close one' #And it makes sense that he would discard the tu when he finds out that nope this is a total stranger manipulating us all #But also normal people would go from tu (affectionate) to tu (derogatory). Of course Layton doesn't as a gentleman but. Ouch #And he never goes back to tu not even after finding out Clive is the orphan he saved #I'm crying why are you doing that to me. It's so subtle I had NEVER noticed but it's there #Maybe the vous will go back to respect or pleasant distance one day but Clive isn't deserving of a tu. He's not Luke. He's a stranger #I HAVE to do a complete pronoun analysis one day. I've talked about it here and there but I need to do a big analysis #Professeur layton et le destin perdu #Professeur layton #hershel layton #clive dove #Been posting a lot of angst lately oops #Professor layton and the unwound Future #Professor layton and the lost future #Unwound Future spoilers #Lost Future spoilers

[oshiawaseni]

Between BkDk, which of them knows they're in love with the other?

A question was asked: Is it just one, is it both, or is it neither? This is my reasoning behind why I think that both of them have realised their romantic feelings for the other.

I'll start with Izuku’s side first, as he is the veteran.

Izuku's been sitting on his feelings for quite some time and repressing them as much as he can, simply just knowing these feelings… exist. Izuku has always loved Kacchan, but I'm talking specifically about the moment he realised what kind of love it was.

I think the moment that really did Izuku in was witnessing the growth in Katsuki's heroic heart for the very first time, during his team's battle in the Joint Training arc. Shiny eyes watched Kacchan's newly perfected teamwork as he fought the opposition while protecting his team and allowing them to cover for him in return.

This change in Katsuki was his heart becoming more like Izuku's, in his efforts to become the top hero that cares about saving and winning equally. He no longer looked down on the action of saving a person, so he no longer looked down on what it meant to be saved by others either. I think this really cast him in a new light for Izuku.

Kirishima: "But it's true it might be the first time we've ever seen him do something like this." (Katsuki protecting others)

As well as planting a seed foreshadowing Bakugou Katsuki Rising, Hori placed the speech bubble over a very bare panel of Izuku watching Kacchan for two reasons: Emphasis that Izuku was also seeing Kacchan's character growth for the first time, and to imply that the change in Katsuki's character that Monoma had just been yelling about was, in large part, influenced by Izuku himself.

The paneling is so genius. It seemed insignificant enough to be ignored by Bones, yet it says so much more than all other panels because it tells a story of the piece in Katsuki that had been missing their whole lives, it’s simplistic emptiness conveying the beauty Izuku saw in him finding it. If Katsuki was changing, maybe Izuku was, too... and this panel was the start of Izuku's admiration evolving into something more romantic.

Izuku watching Katsuki's heroism was an incredibly important moment for them and puts Izuku's view of love in ch.348 into some more context. Because chapter 208 was Katsuki definitely... undeniably sharing Izuku's heart. RIGHT AFTER sending his thoughts to Izuku: "Just keep your eyes on me, shitty Deku!"

".......If it responds to my feelings, at that time, I..."

And not long after JT, we get these unfinished thoughts about WHY Black Whip was triggered and Izuku has been hush about his inner thoughts on Katsuki ever since. (Other than telling Kacchan he doesn't mind being called Deku, if it's too hard to call him Izuku.)

The reason Izuku's emotions were so deeply triggered that day is because Monoma reminded him of the pain he saw in Katsuki's face when he cried to him about ending All Might in DvK2.

The recent anime ending further backs this theory during a montage of Izuku running away from the significant memories he has with his friends. This memory is a very important one to Izuku.

When Monoma triggered him, Izuku felt Katsuki's suffering on a personal level. His precious Kacchan, who had cried to him with that face, had fallen under attack, so by extension, Izuku was being attacked too. That day, Izuku discovered how very protective he is over him. (see also: "Give him back to me!")(see also: Kacchan getting hurt "because of me" to save Izuku was the Vigilante arc catalyst) (see also: Vol 37 Cover Art)

During his Bakugou Katsuki Rising chapter/episode, Kacchan too felt an immense amount of empathy with Izuku, because he refers to the moment he was about to lose Izuku as being "at death's door." Not specifying it was Izuku's death, but death in general. Izuku feels Katsuki's pain. Katsuki feels Izuku's pain. And this attunement with one another makes them both feel immensely protective over each other. Amazing.

So... Izuku has just figured out his feelings... and when asked directly by Kacchan, he runs away from giving him a concrete answer because he doesn't want to upset him with the love and overprotectiveness he feels for Kacchan inside his heart. At this point in the story, Izuku still feels somewhat disliked by him and is scared of Katsuki's potential harsh rejection. I'm sure he was thinking something like "Better to omit the truth and not cause anyone pain." No pain for Kacchan, no pain for him. Hedgehogs can't get hurt if they never lie close to each other, right?

＊* .•° ✿ °•. ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 ೋღ

With Katsuki, I think he awoke to a new feeling born inside him after he almost lost Izuku. The uncompromising need for Izuku to stay in his life. And his feelings from childhood that he’d hidden deep inside reemerged with the same explosive level of fervour that he’d given Izuku their whole lives, except now when he thought about Izuku, his heart was filled with something… different.

He only realised what those feelings really were at the same time he faced the looming death that was ahead of him. Katsuki was stripped completely bare by AFO and found all that remained of him, which was now staring him straight in the face, the precious piece of him AFO could never touch: Izuku’s and his intense and binding love for each other. There's no other explanation for chapter 362, other than him becoming more aware of both Izuku's and his own feelings. That's why he thought of him in the end, that's why he longed to see him so much.

That's why he wanted his feelings to reach him, to have Izuku in his grasp, at a time when he knew he had no hope to. All For One told him to face his reality. But that reality and Katsuki's wishes are two very separate entities and nothing can come between the love and belief Izuku and Katsuki have for each other. Katsuki would not be broken… and it was his hope that won out.

Edgeshot: "Don't give up, Dynamight! The guy you're waiting for will... Deku will come for sure. That's why I won't let you die!"

Hori revealed on the back of Volume 37 that Izuku is the person Katsuki had been waiting for because... (and this BREAKS ME):

Katsuki had been waiting to be saved by him.

I KNOW, I KNOW. There's a small part of me that's just like "SHUTUP HORI THESE CHAPTERS WERE ALREADY HARD ENOUGH TO TAKE YOU DIDNT HAVE TO RUB THEM IN EVEN MORE :((" because thinking about all of this hurts like hell.

But I know these lines probably weren’t written to upset those of us who live in a perpetual state of bkdk canon brainrot, and were written so that everyone else, the average "casual" fan, can start to see/accept the love that's between them a little more. I'm sure it's with this kind of intention that he reminded everyone again of who exactly it was residing in Katsuki's heart and whose name it was Edgeshot felt he needed to use to call out to Katsuki with, for the sole purpose of motivating him harder to stay alive. (ily Hori, thanks for the pain.)

As of ch.362, they are both now aware they love the other, Izuku doesn't know yet that it's very reciprocal, but I think Katsuki realised it, and he allowed Izuku's love to overflow him during his delirium, using it as his shield to protect his spirits after the awful things AFO did and said to him. It's devastating that he had to suffer so much to see the truth that had been lying dormant inside his own heart the whole time.

This uncovered truth is why he got back up and acted in the way he knew Izuku believed in most about him. Izuku wasn't coming. But at the very least... he could still become the hero Izuku admires and loves one last time, before it was all over...

"(Never giving up until I get my win is what you always believed in about me,) so I just gotta win, right.... Izuku....?"

Ch.362 felt like Katsuki's answer to Izuku's feelings, an incredibly private moment of him exposing his bare heart for all to see. His final act was an acceptance and reciprocity of the love Izuku felt for him that had been there all along. He was completely run down mentally, physically and spiritually, so he comforted himself by thinking about his special guy.

What provides more comfort than your beloved being right there with you, at your lowest? What greater desire does the heart have than to feel loved by the person it yearningly aches for the most?

Katsuki was only able to see Izuku's feelings because he could finally face and recognise his own.

#bakudeku #kacchan loves deku #deku love kacchan #dey both know thats my final answer #kana writes #bnha meta #bkdk canon #op #sometimes i cry writing about them and i dont know why i do this to you and to myself but alas... please forgive me... my kokoro is </3 to #katsuki's side of their story is //heartshredding// #it's just *impossible* not to get sad while diving into it #it is what it is ig #must read meta #I haven’t tagged them all yet but check that tag if you like reading my meta 🫶🏻

[rawliverandgoronspice]

behold: my least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.

#totk critical #totk #tloz #gerudos #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war.... #I just stumbled upon it again doing research yesterday and.... #there's so many layers as to why it aggravates me #that it's spoken from the perspective of a masked woman as to embody all gerudos while removing her own identity #in the context of her loyalty to rauru as well #that giving birth to a bad man makes you responsible for his actions (he's not a toddler anymore he's an adult ok) #or more metaphorically that your initial conflict with hyrule makes you Sinful and cursed and you must Feel Bad Now *shame shame* #that she's passing on that ageless guilt with no expiration date onto the shoulders of *a teenager* and it's considered GOOD??? #(wind waker shaking crying right now) #ALL OF THAT to prop her up to swear her loyalty to the people planning to go murder their ancient king (sure he's a Bad but still???) #using some sort of weird ass original sin scenario that is arguably not any gerudo's fault but Ganondorf's #(or if it is then it's not shown so ???) #the vibes are so so so off I just really !!!!! don't like #this is stuff like this that makes me reject that it's a good story about alliances being formed in good faith #because this is just manipulative #maybe the alliance angle everyone's stronger together was the intention but the execution is another story entirely #gerudos never benefited from ganondorf's actions also #so it's not even a case of making reparations for the way you benefit from systemic oppression due to your ancestor's actions #gerudos won literally nothing in ganondorf's war #apparently he even subjugated them if they weren't on his side (like.... a king would.... not to excuse it but the double standard here) #so it just instrumentalizes the ageless sin of motherhood + suffering under a bad monarch billion of years ago for war #so uhhh.... yeah that's not... that's pretty bad imo #the gerudo girl could have went “hey girl this man used us and still hurt us to this day let's kick his ass once and for all” #and this would have been a different story entirely #a little cheap but not.... That Bad

[electr1c4]

i sometimes remember that troy and abed didnt canonically kiss and im like ummmmmmm r u sure i've seen them do that I'm pretty sure

#my peegnis hurts #do you ever wonder if god is real #i mean #there must be something ouut there. surely. #im not saying there is some big meaning to life itself #but like honestly #why the fuck am i here #am i here to make my friends days #am i here to send a message to someone about something #if god is everloving #why would he make me suffer this way #why would he put me here #and expect me to do something for him #is this his plan? #is it his plan to make me suffer? #does my suffering bring him joy? #god. if you even recognise my voice. its me. #please. #just give me a sign #just tell me its all worth it #community #nbc community #abed nadir #trobed #troy barnes #community nbc #troy and abed #just give me a sign my suffering is worth it.

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

#Dimension 20 #fig faeth #fhjy #Idle Chatter #my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art #because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make #the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art #which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!! #so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist #anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way #ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH #BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU #it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem #you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life #if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates #SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters

[uncanny-tranny]

It's weird how people paint "daddy issues" and even "mommy issues" as, like, a joke or a failure on part of the person who has those issues, rather than recognizing that daddy and mommy issues stem, for so many people, from abuse. What this all is is just abuse apologia, and nobody seems to either notice or maybe even care.

When somebody with daddy or mommy issues opens up about the "why," I can't ever seem to shake the fact that they tend to have gone through a ton of abuse and bullshit as a child. It's just crazy that other people would look at that and see a joke or a failure of the once-child who was abused.

#abuse #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #child abuse #child abuse tw #mental health #it really goes to show (to me) that people either can't or don't WANT to acknowledge that parents can be the ones to have fucked up #if all the blame is placed on their child/ren then you can maintain the illusion that the parent is always right... #...that parents know what is best and they will always do what is best for their child/ren #it's just weird to be somebody with parental issues and all that gets steamrolled into 'mommy issues' that then become a Big Joke... #...especially because i'm a man (and because people are misogynists who think it's just so funny that women are people)... #...i find that my own issues are expected to be treated as a joke or a punchline or something i must whisper in the dark... #...so that others may have the luxury of pretending to not hear it or to have the luxury of forgetting in the morning... #...and it just sucks because that leaves me to remember and grieve and doing that with the knowledge that my abuse Is A Joke at My Expense #if you wonder why so many abuse victims/survivors become unsavoury: this is why #i'm too bitter about this topic specifically to care about the comfort of people who don't get it and don't WANT TO... #...because it is THEY who are uncomfortable with the very NOTION that abuse happens #if you can't acknowledge that abuse happens WITHOUT downplaying to for your sense of comfort you will NEVER help abuse victims/survivors #you will find that you start prioritizing YOUR sense of comfort over the safety and continued survival of victims/survivors

[front-facing-pokemon]

#absol #they look happier than umbreon which is strange to me. umbreon being all sad and angry while absol #known widely as The Edgy pokémon‚ is like. smiling a little bit. they're vibing they're totally fine #they're glad they got to be in rescue team #you go girl. go off‚ absol. even in rescue team they didn't feel like they had a Super cohesive tie to the story besides Being There and #helping and whatever but maybe that's just rescue team being my least favorite pmd game. but maybe that's part of *why* #if i'm right. i might not be right. maybe i just didn't pay enough fuckin attention in rescue team. there's *two of them*. someone out there #must like them enough for there to be a remake. and i know the general pmd community considers rescue team better than the 3ds games bc they #'re all nostalgia-driven like all pokémon fans and think that the older games are OBVIOUSly better even though the 3ds titles are #total masterpieces just like the rest of pmd. i'm not gonna complain abt this here bc i think the general pmd fanbase on tumblr are like #generally pretty nice and appreciate the 3ds games. y'all are nice here. elsewhere it gets scary. luckily everywhere else is crashing and #burning before our eyes. score. although apparently tumblr is also trying to given the whole “collapse reblogs” thing they're doing?? #big yikes. hope that doesn't happen. anyway

[comradekatara]

the thing about the adult gaang movie is even if it’s somehow done really well, i don’t wanna see aang and katara as adults, that will actually make me really sad. whereas if sokka is the protagonist that’s fine because i already think everyone should heal and find fulfillment after the war except for sokka. i think sokka should get worse. i think sokka should continue collecting mental illnesses like they’re pokemans creatures. a qing dynasty court intrigue film with sokka navigating ba sing se politics (and iroh can feature as he dispenses occasional wisdom. but sokka is just like “call your son”), or a xai bau spy thriller (except tbh this one would work better as a novel), or even just. a mai and sokka roadtrip movie in the style of an early 2000s stoner comedy (this one would have no artistic merit but it’s also probably the best idea ive ever had). these are but a few examples of the many ideas i have for movies that put my favorite guy through hours of suffering without having to depict my other favorite guys as anything other than the precious babies i know and love.

#‘pokemans creatures’ is what i call them to piss my brother off so much #aang and katara are BABIES #do not ROB ME OF THAT #everyone in the world must age or die #but katara and aang!!!! are immortalized forever in babydom!!!!!! #why would you ruin that!!!!!!! #(okay im actually just going thru a separate crisis here wrt my brothers but don’t. we’re not talking about that okay) #also i think if you wanna make a movie that’s ‘darker’ and ‘for older audiences’ just make sokka the protagonist and boom problem solved #last time sokka got to be the protagonist he attempted suicide at the human rights abuses volcano #his mind is a dark dark place ok! #but also mai & sokka stoner comedy. is anyone writing this down? u should be writing this down #idk how to tag this #sokka #i guess? #postwargaang #also #bc obv these all happen in my complex tapestry of post war developments #gene yang could never #ask me about any one of these points for elaboration (PLEASE)