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#why not share it here too lmao
ribbononline · 10 months
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& every time it's you
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zebratimw · 10 months
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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mattodore · 6 months
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hello good morning happy thumb in his mouth tuesday (a day i just made up for matthias's slutty little whims)
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#echthroi#a burning house to live in#ts4#blender#now i just have to make a pose where theo's thumb is in matthias's mouth so everything goes full circle#you already know matthias is gonna be on his knees for it 😌#but anyway i finished making that first pose last night while recording a little video showing nene how i make poses#and then when i woke up i jumped back into blender to make another version of the pose but like. hornier.#i love making poses rn like i'm in blender so often these days... honestly i'm in blender more than i'm in the sims lmao#there's one i started working on like two days ago that is so... i wish i could share it on here but cock and balls are out in it </3#placing so many curses on tumblr hq#...........i did make a pillowfort account tho so :)#i'll post the wip of it onto there when i get further along bc the pose is kind of messy atm. still trying to figure out the anatomy 😁🔫#i actually made a pillowfort yesterday just to post an old screenshot from the casual oc save that i found again and had a good laugh at#i've been messing around on there and i really like how you can set posts to being just for logged in users / followers / mutuals#and there's an 18+ label you can slap onto your posts too#like it's great!!! tumblr sucks so bad why don't we have those options on here... seriously#ALSO you can turn off reblogs on pillowfort any time you want and you can set it so that it DELETES ANYONE ELSE'S REBLOGS OF THE POST!!!#WHY is that not an option on this website like i hate it hereeeeeeeeee#but anyway pillowfort also seems to not have that many people on it so like. that's literally perfect for me and my avpd#i'll probably end up posting on there a lot#...... oh and#nsft#?? just in case i mean matthias does in fact have a handful in that second pose there so. for the blacklists ☝️
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raiiny-bay · 3 months
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my favorite edits - 2023 edition 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9
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echojedis · 10 months
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How do people do OCs, I can never get them to click properly
#i think i’m holding back too much the idea is there in my head#but when i’m drawing i’m conscious that i might want to share this stuff at some point so the whole time i’m thinking#about making a good design and i don’t want to give them anything vaguely similar to anyone else’s oc because i don’t want to step on toes#so they end up barely a visage of what i want to be creating#idkkk#the idea i have in my head is an oc who’s a horse girl LMAO their companion is a fathier who they have a very strong inseparable bond with#i am a lifelong horse person and i grew up reading pony club secrets and watching stuff like flicka so i feel like i can bring#something personal to that concept#but i don’t want them to be a mando. i don’t know much about mando culture and i cba to learn so that was the one i did not want hem to be#and yet. i can only imagine them with mandalorian armour#they’re the same species as dryden vos. there’s next to no lore on his species and they’re non human in a way that’s easy to draw#so i can just make stuff up and not be constrained by canon#them being near human is also relevant to their story. they spent a lot of time around humans and they’re close enough to human to get by#but not human enough that there’s something off. they don’t quite fit in and they always felt on the outside looking in#hence why they prefer the company of animals#maybe i’ll have them formerly working in fathier racing but that might be too projecty#this is so rambly i apologise i’ve been very talkative on here recently#ohh this is very off the cuff but maybe they’re the child of loyal mandalorians but never really subscribed to it themselves#having spent a lot of time around fathiers also meant they spent less time around mandalorians. so despite technically being mando#and wearing the armour they don’t really identify very strongly as a mandalorian
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briarhips · 2 months
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tell me something you think about often but seldom talk about
personal/family history. I mean the really nitty gritty memoir worthy reflections and replays that pop up in my head way too often w/o my consent. stuff I’ve never told anyone and never will bc I can’t imagine how it wouldn’t demean me to share it or be used as a weapon against me. maybe not even an active weapon anyone would use but like. one they would have on hand bc I forged it and put it in their hands. it’s a good thing previous attempts to open up to ppl have been met w indifference tbh bc it’s saved my very mouthy when angsty self a lot of complication. it happened. irregularly and not linear and painfully random but I dealt w/ it. I did a beautiful job even if no one else thinks so or notices or cares. and the burden of being more willfully weighed down by this history and these patterns that the family who experienced it too but from different angles choose to dismiss and ridicule me for paying attn to so they can cope better but in exchange never learn better (not that it matters, life treats them all better too so these are not skills they need to have ig) has to pay off. I have to offset the paralysis and stress of that awareness and overseriousness by making the blooming and withering stages of my life grow into polar opposites to what my baby self had to witness and be taught unintentionally to look forward to. If I get married it will be a fairytale/beyond beautiful and blessed and beneficial compared to anything I could dream up now. If I ever work full time to support myself it will be with hefty experience behind me and a strong foundation and enough drive to never regret trying not to betray myself and become somebody else’s problem despite my own capabilities. If I find the kind of companionship that I don’t yearn for but have been told I should, it’s still going to be childless. If I grow up and get to live alone I am going to have real true blue similar in thoughtfulness and synced in social battery IRL friends who don’t stress me and prove to me my best bubbly reliable capable self I haven’t been able to wake up in too long is still in there just being THEMselves. I will never again have to be suffocated by people who dismiss and ridicule me at every turn and feel like I am just putting up with every interaction for a greater good that excludes me. I will not always be made to be the weirdo or the moody one or the uncool lame NPC with nothing to say that anyone can disrespect. etc etc etc. if I don’t have these things I’m still building and I owe this mindset to the despicable truths I was forced to learn as a child at the hands of ppl I could not feel more complicated abt. It made no sense for me to see it and it was fucked but that’s why I’m going to make it make sense and control what I can. I’m rewriting life bc as of now I can’t shake the perception that it’s truly rotten and not worth it. Idk what u would call this paradoxical motivation. It’s not spite it’s smth else. a prolonged last mad dash to a destination that’s mythical in quality but plausible. not impossible
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feketeribizli · 2 months
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hello followers who enjoy hsr btw 😁 as im in the limbo of interests i might draw more of those guys so i hope you will have a good time here 🫡
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elegyofthemoon · 5 months
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cetoddle · 5 months
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*covered in blood, gore, and tears* i finished editing
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piplupod · 1 month
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my younger sister made a comment over the holidays where she said something like "every time i come home for a holiday, you always have a new weird thing you're really into" (she said this in an impressed way, not a mean way)
and i mean. its true. i've had bnha, fnaf, bill and ted, wrestling, (etc, i cannot remember everything LOL) and several different craft projects/hobbies, all things i'd previously shown zero interest in until suddenly it was smth i was thinking constantly about
but now i feel kind of bad bc this time she's coming home again and i have absolutely nothing new (that i can share w her) and i feel like its expected at this point FDSJKL but i've got ... nothing to show her
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apolloamy · 1 year
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how are you so burnt when you're barely on fire?
The Eleventh Hour | Amy's Choice | The Pandorica Opens
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dandyshucks · 2 months
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i should put together speedpaints... honestly just for my own sake bc i like watching how i did things bc i forget so quickly SBDBDKL but also perhaps I'll upload them here too hmmm
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dandyshucks-moving · 4 months
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me when i can't decide what to draw so i do a bit of everything (VERY rough sketches under the cut)
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a peek into my drawing process fhdkdl just blocking out the bottom one, and actually going into forms and proper posing for the top right, and top left has had me struggling all evening and i still have to mess with it a bit more ( ╥ω╥ )
i realized tonight that most of the flustering I've had going on in drawings has been juno flustering guz which is so funny bc i am the easiest person in the world to fluster so why haven't i drawn more of that,,, i think maybe i just wanna make that boy blush DBDJDKL
also it seems Too Obvious maybe to draw him flustering me,,, makes it a little more interesting to have big bad guz.ma being the one who's flustered (≖ᴗ≖๑)
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dilfkuza · 8 months
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 龍が如く | Ryuu ga Gotoku | Yakuza (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kiryu Kazuma/Majima Goro, Kiryu Kazuma & Sawamura Haruka, Majima Goro & Sawamura Haruka Characters: Kiryu Kazuma, Majima Goro, Sawamura Haruka Additional Tags: Domestic, Babysitting, Family Drama, Kissing, Sleepy Kisses, Denial of Feelings, Kiryu has trouble being open with people, Majima is Good With Kids, Light Angst Summary:
Kiryu is seriously rethinking his choice of babysitter, but it's not like he has many options. Luckily for him, Majima is a man of many talents.
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discalmnected · 2 years
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I’ve decided my new hobby is scouring the Internet for fetus 5SOS pictures people might not have seen before. Apologies if it gets annoying lol
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waveknight · 7 months
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I don't have like, a ton of followers or anything, but just fyi I'm making efforts to compartmentalize myself a little bit less! So I'm gonna be reblogging things here more often (mostly/especially art!!!!)
if you want to see TONS of shitposts tho, I will still be maintaining my blog @waveknight2 which is 100% reblogs and lots of them.
Also if you're an artist who is seeing this, reply (with your art tag if you have one but if not thats ok too) so I can look through ur blog and share some stuff
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