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#why npcs hate pcs
yourplayersaidwhat · 2 days ago
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While infiltrating a pirate ship, our rogue stumbles across two crew mates having a conversation.
Rogue (ooc): “Can I insight check to see how much these crew mates care about each other?”
DM: “Uh.. sure” *proceeds to roll for how much these two random crew mates love each other and rolls a Nat 20*
DM: “Ok, they’re gay and in love”
Ranger: “It’s the like Romeo and Juliet, but instead it’s Romeo and Romeo. Romeo and Juan”
Despite having not asked these crew mates their actual names, they are now named Romeo and Juan.
Rogue: “Ok I’m gonna put a knife to Juan’s throat.”
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kobolds-top-hat · 2 months ago
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I don’t remember their name, but there was an NPC that Kobold nearly bit at one point. They deserved it.
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kindaawesomebutnotreally · 2 months ago
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Isekai anime idea: This time it's just the player's character that gets stuck in another world, but the player thinks it's a massive graphics and AI update. However, his character seems to be unaffected and still interacts with the world like he's from a video game. The "NPCs" seem to be terrified and confused. They don't like it when he lags
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clockworklozenges · 3 months ago
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As a DM I have a problem. (to clarify, this is other than scheduling, plot holes and the party collecting NPCs). I have got a set of about 30 NPCs who are schrodinger's NPCs.
To clarify, I've had a player flake on sessions for half a year now. No real fault on them, but they began being flakier than Mary Berry's finest dandruff-coated mille-feille or however you spell it the session before a big dramatic denouement was planned to happen. Their character was accused of crimes, and their punishment was to be the death of these 30ish NPCs who were under their care, on their family estate. They were to be thrust into a fight to save these NPCs, very dramatic, they might win, might lose, a good time would be had by all.
But...
The first foot has fallen, as the groundwork for this has been laid over months of sessions. The build up was immense, and the other players also had parts of their character arcs tied in to this player's stuff. But whilst the first foot has fallen, the other foot cannot drop and land firmly next to its compatriot. The NPCs are in plot stasis. The players can't return there as the player most connected to these NPCs is still gone, but the dangerous threat of death still bears down on these 30ish unfortunates. They are in the liminal space between alive and dead, interactive and inert. I can't kill them off because the build up to their deaths is wasted, I can't save them because that belittles both the work I did to build them up and the threat they face. So we have schrodinger's NPCs.
Both alive and dead until the player who flaked returns.
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my-dnd-mishaps · a year ago
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No Promises
*Context- Our rogue is being confronted by an NPC because he has been very rude and toxic to our NPC who helps around the party’s keep.*
Rogue- “No, no I would never actually hurt you!.... ya know.... unless I want to”
*long story short we lost our house keeper because the rogue could not promise that he would not hurt him*
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sneaksiekitten · a year ago
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Someone on the internet tried to insult me by saying I have "NPC energy."
Yes, thank you, I have no desire to be the main character in this insane world, I'd rather live in a cottage with my girlfriend and occasionally pop up in strange places along your travels to sell you things.
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l1wolf2588 · 2 years ago
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Tfw a character who lives in your head makes you cry uncontrollably and nonstop
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bitchitsgidge · 3 years ago
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Shit thats happened to my dumb half orc character in D&D
So my go-to character is a half-orc barbarian named Maira. She has a 18 strength stat, but an 8 for intelligence. Naturally this leads to some pretty ridiculous encounters, such as:
-Getting pregnant and having a horny wizard transmute her into an elephant, then have said wizard climb into her elephant vagina to get rid of the baby.
-Walking up to villains (on multiple occasions) and happily saying “hi” to them. This throws them off their rhythm. (STREET SMARTS.)
-Rolling to seduce would-be boss villain(s), getting a nat 20 and a 17, causing the DM to rethink his master plan.
-Knocking on a bad-guy lair’s front door pretending to be a birthday stripper, suddenly the rest of the party bursts in like the goddamn kool-aid man and she splits the guy who answered the door in half with her great-axe.
-Almost getting kidnapped (three different times, one successful)
-Falling into a rancor pit-trap and trying to befriend it, only to have the rancor rip her arm off and partially eat her. (She lived, somehow.)
-Getting pregnant in 4 different games, all from pcs. 
Conclusion: She is the fucking BEST.
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just-some-dnd-things · 3 years ago
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"It's not going to look suspicious, the farmer's dead and we're carrying bags of rice."
-our druid after we killed a lot of gnolls and wanted to loot the farmer's house bc he's dead
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sarahwys · 3 years ago
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It occurred to me today, because I zoned out and left my character standing there for like a good 20minutes, 
that NPCs are literally just like ants, 
because like, if something gets in their path? then they just .........
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yourplayersaidwhat · 14 hours ago
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Beeping?
Stormtroopers:  Hands up!  Keep your hands where I can see them! Jedi PC: [sarcastically] Oh, good job.  Very well done, you’ve caught me! Stormtroopers: Shackle him!  Lord Vader will be pleased we’ve brought him another Jedi. Jedi PC: [hands in the air] Yes, splendid jobs all around.  Everything I’ve come to expect from the Empire’s finest. [High telekinesis roll, to activate certain nearby devices with The Force] Gather close, loyal Troopers for your just rewards are at hand. Stormtroopers: What’s that sound?  What are you doing? Jedi PC:  Ah, I’m glad you asked.  You see, I am distracting you while my friends escape.  And the beeping? That’s how you know your Thermal Detonators are no longer your friends… 
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kobolds-top-hat · 2 months ago
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The party cannot focused for long. Including me? Especially me.
[ID: A textual post in which a generic representation of all npcs, dubbed NPCs, states “Alright, everyone, pay attention. I have an announcement to make and I only have two minutes.” Kobold asks “Why? Are you in a hurry?” to which NPCs respond “No, I was referring to your relatively short attention spans.” /ID]
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ourwitching · a month ago
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“i don’t feel comfortable desecrating this woman’s grave without at least one of h...
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youngmoonwhispers · 5 months ago
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Designers use Wilcom Embroidery Studio E4.5 Crack to create new designs on textiles. Textile designers have used this versatile brand to
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transjohnhunger · a year ago
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Trav has taken the goofy from early Balance and Commitment and turned it into something a lot more intriguing and capably run. Graduation is just starting, but it’s already a really fun ride.
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pigeon-princess · 4 months ago
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Feel free to ignore this if you’ve answered this before, but do you have a process you generally follow when creating D&D characters? For example, how do you go about solidifying a character concept, and does that come before you determine their stats or after?
OHHHH Thats a really fun question!! When it comes to creating DnD characters I usually always start by looking at race and class. It could be a particular subclass I’d be interested in playing or for example with my new PC Pearl, I started with her character knowing that I wanted to play as a Triton. It’s easier to start building ideas when you start asking specific questions about why this character would have this particular subclass. Usually I create a concept before I make their stats but sometimes their stats can help add more character. With Pearl I realised because she has heavy armor she has disadvantage on stealth, so I thought that it made sense for her to be fairly clumsy when trying to be stealthy.
Along those same lines, one thing that has actually helped me a lot with making both PCs and NPCS is looking at FEATS both before and after brainstorming a character. It can inspire character concepts that I wouldn’t have even thought of like gunslingers, cavillers, poisoners, mage slayers ect. Reading through the feats really adds that extra customisation and spice to a character and can lead to you brainstorming things like,“Ok if she has the mage slayer feat, why does she hate mages? What happened in her backstory that caused this?” or “Oh if he has the giant slayer feat, perhaps he’s a gnome who hunts giants for a living” Even for level 1 characters it can help you guide what choices you’d make to your sheet as you level up!
I think the best thing with character design in general is to be flexible while in the brainstorming phase, you might start off wanting to play an elf but then realise that it would make more sense to play a dwarf. Be open to lots of different ideas and then solidify choices that you’re really keen on.
I hope that answers your question somewhat!
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gilears · a month ago
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I've never understood the whole "if Riz never gets partnered he will be doomed to sadness and loneliness" idea people have with him being aroace. Cause like did they not see the nightmare forest? That was literally what he over came is that fear and realizing he doesnt have to conform to what society and media says about relationships and his friends still love him. Also like they don't need to be partnered to have Bad Kids house where they all look out and care for each other as friends.
oh my god i forgot to answer this i am SO sorry anon
YEAH!!! LITERALLY!! we have covered this. we have covered this! not sure how anyone could see the conclusion of that arc and still be like, "oh well hes gonna be lonely and sad if he doesnt get his kisses in!" like yeah hes still sorting out his feelings and coming to terms with his identity clearly but. he does NOT want to get his kisses in, and he loves his friends and his friends love him!!! for who he is!!!!!
i have a really hard time figuring out how to articulate this so i dont talk about it much outside of the dms of beloved friends who i know Get It but like. sooooo much of ppl ignoring riz's identity to ship him with fabian is insidious to me. kristen is canonically a lesbian, if a bunch of people decided they wanted to ignore that to ship her with like gorgug, there would be a RECKONING. why is it suddenly fine if we're ignoring that riz canonically isnt sexually or romantically attracted to anyone (and has EXPLICITLY said he does not WANT to take part in these things), so we can ship him with someone (regardless of the gender of that partner!) ?????
if we were at a lack of canon queer relationships, i might be able to see why people would feel the need. but we ARENT! literally TWO of the pcs are in canon queer relationships!! now, the widespread blatant ignorance of those canon wlw relationships over a hypothetical one that is mlm.... smells like misogyny! smells like lesbophobia! on that note how come there are DOUBLE the amount of f*briz fics on ao3 versus kristen/tracker AND fig/ayda?
moving beyond that: if we were at a lack of queer canon characters, i might be able to see why people would feel the need. but again, WE ARE NOT!! countless npcs are queer (like truly so fucking many we are so blessed thanks brennan) and again, two of the pcs, NOW THREE BECAUSE RIZ IS CONFIRMED TO BE CANONICALLY ASEXUAL, are queer! the only conclusion i can draw is that these people dont see aro/ace people as queer or even queer "enough" which is 1) bullshit, 2) fucked up and untrue, and 3) tbh very hurtful to me as an ace person!!! i am tired of seeing it!!!
queer friendship is beautiful and revolutionary and lifesaving (especially when we're talking about riz "dont have a lot of friends even though im very social" "i love my friends and they love me" gukgak) and it feels weird that a large amount of people consistently like. shirk that profound thing for like... really weird and deeply out of character headcanons/fic/etc? im just like okay? so untrue worstie. and its not like everyone who ships it is evil and actively hates aroace people. the vast vast majority probably arent and probably dont! but like... idk. use your critical thinking skills babes.
anyway sorry for going off. mandatory i know these are fictional dnd characters and its literally not that deep (except for when it is and we are being aphobic actually). i have many thoughts and feelings! im going to stop talking now 💜
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yourplayersaidwhat · 2 months ago
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Yufirith, a 16 year old girl we were hired to escort and protect from an assassin: Ugh. You guys are just a bunch of old mercenaries.
Monk: Did you just call me old? I'm gonna tell your mom.
Yufirith: My mother's dead.
Druid, without hesitating: Where's she buried? We have a cleric.
Monk: And I have a shovel.
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