#why the hell does it have to be so expensive to be a human

[nomazee]

EVENT TIME EVENT TIME

how about.. 4:44am & dr. ratio? 🫡

AUGHH THANK U GWEN i lvoed writing ths..... first time writing dr ratio be gentle on my fragile soul

my 1k event!

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When Doctor Veritas Ratio walks into his very-private, very-locked, very-secluded study, he’s greeted with the unfortunate sight of you—sitting on the floor, an easel with a wide canvas set up low to the ground, oil paints sprawled absolutely everywhere. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

A sheepish smile pulls at your face, as if a sweet expression will get you out of the mess you’ve made of Ratio’s personal space. It’s far too late— late? Too early? Regardless. The hour of the night-slash-morning that you’ve decided to paint in his room is not appropriate at all. 

“I can explain,” you say, followed by a complete lack of an explanation as the two of you stew in silence for another half a minute. 

“Why are you even awake at this hour?” Ratio scoffs, stepping around you and your hazardous art set-up as he places some irrelevant stack of books on his (thankfully untouched) desk. “You should’ve been in bed a long time ago. Soon you’ll experience delirium from lack of sleep.” 

“Oh, please,” you argue, swatting a hand in his general direction playfully as you turn back to your canvas. It’s full of nauseating color, clear shapes and lines that don’t blend together in the slightest, vague animal-like forms that overlap with each other. “You’re awake too, aren’t you? Unless I really did hit delirium, and you’re just some Veritas-ghost floating around in my subconscious.” 

Ratio does not get a kick out of your very funny joke. An annoyed huff escapes him, tainted with something like weariness and exhaustion. Your eyebrow twitches. 

“And to answer your first question,” you prattle on, mindlessly scrubbing dried paint from the side of your hand with a wet rag, before picking up a fan brush, “I’m painting. This room is really well-ventilated, which is nice, because it would be a shame if all the fumes got to my head and zapped away my few remaining brain cells.” 

That one gets a laugh out of him, probably because it’s at the expense of your own intelligence. 

“There are a hundred other rooms that are exactly the same as mine,” he argues, finally turning away from his pointless shuffling of materials on his desk and facing you, looking at you while he talks to you—you know, like a normal person would. “There was no reason to infiltrate my own private study for your… painting. The door was locked, too. How did you—” 

“Don’t ask silly questions, Veritas,” and you like the way each consonant of his name clicks against your lips and teeth and tongue, “I have my ways. Does it bother you that I’m defiling your good room with my frivolous fine arts endeavors?” 

“Ridiculous,” his face screws up in displeasure at your assumption that he’d be so elitist to deny you of your passion. He walks around your spread of supplies again, carefully, before kneeling by your side to watch you work. As much as he’s loath to admit, you’re one of his few soft spots, and it shows in the way he traces the lines of your paint with his gaze, and the fact that he has yet to kick you out of his room. “The humanities are just as important as any other field.” 

“Spoken like a true scholar,” you quip, trying to hold back the shakiness of your hands and the swaying of your body. It really is too late for this, but you’d slept through the day and felt much too awake by midnight. Setting up camp in Ratio’s room was a natural instinct. 

“Go to bed,” he says, commanding yet gentle as he tugs a paintbrush from your hand. He doesn’t touch your hands, never really does, but he’s gathering your scattered, wrung-out tubes of paint and the little containers of linseed oil hidden under the easel. “It does neither you nor your artwork any good to be exhausted.” 

“I’m not even tired!” you complain, dragging out your words in a whine as he nudges you with his foot in a wordless command to stand up. There’s something like a cot in the corner of his room (because he does sleep, sometimes, and often it’s between textbooks and files and loose leaf paper) and a cozy patterned blanket that’s definitely yours. 

“You will be tired the second your head hits the mattress.” 

“This is a really awful mattress, Ratio.” 

“Don’t complain,” and his tone is harsh but you know he doesn’t mean it, because he’s pushing you back onto the little sleeping corner and tucking you into the blanket, nothing short of kindness in his hands. “You still have to clean your mess in the morning.” 

Sure, you think, already drifting off. By the time you wake up, you know that your mess will be packed away in a neat pile, floor wiped clean and canvas propped safely against the wall.

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#nora hits 1k #dr ratio x reader #dr. ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #veritas x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #veritas ratio #hsr ratio x reader #hsr dr. ratio x reader #hsr veritas ratio x reader #hsr fic #dr. ratio fic #dr. ratio #heart pounding in my chest as i click 'post now' with a shaky finger begging and praying that i did ratio justice #me when: i cannot accurately characterize anybody at all ever

[elodieunderglass]

Hi! I was wondering if you could help me out with a word I've forgotten? I'm trying to remember the name for a concept that (I think) talks about how people better understand or process Things once they have vocabulary to describe it - I've heard it talked about in regards to the colour orange, or coercive control, etc.

long story short i've just read a paper saying ancient Greeks and Romans weren't racist bc they had no word for racism and am trying to form an argument against!

(no worries if this is unanswerable, i'm aware its a bit of a long shot but you struck me as a person who Knows Things)

That’s extremely kind and funny of you. i don’t know much but i am ok at synthesis.

I think you might be thinking of the concepts loosely called the “Sapir-Whorf hypothesis”, which describes something called “linguistic determinism.” This idea has been “disproven”, as it is just too reductionist as a concept - people are clearly perfectly capable of having experiences that are tough to describe with words. There will be plenty of papers showing how this reasoning is applied.

but it is still commonly thrown around and still considered a useful teaching framework. That’s why you’ll see it referenced online as if it is fresh, new, and applicable - people learn about it every year in college. Also, elements of the framework are probably perfectly sound. It definitely seems to be the case that language shapes brains; it just doesn’t seem to be the case that humans who don’t have specific words for them can’t experience orange, or the future.

(Many things in college are taught using teaching frameworks that may not be, technically, true; the framework is intended to give a critical structure for interpreting information. Then, when we later find evidence that disproves the hypothesis, that single piece of information doesn’t destroy our expensive college education; what we paid for is the framework. This is mostly frustrating in the sciences, when fresh crops of undergraduate students crash around on social media, grappling with their first exposure to (complex concept) and how it’s DIFFERENT to what they learned BEFORE and their teachers LIED TO EVERYBODY and they’re going to save the world from POP SCIENCE by telling the TRUTH. You’ll notice that these TOTALLY NEW INFORMATION reveals map along the semester schedule. The thing here is that getting new information, or information being different from what you were previously told, does not cancel out the fact that you are getting what you pay for - an education. Learning new facts that change our relationships to hypotheses isn’t a ✨huge betrayal ✨ , but the expected process of academia. Anyway.)

You have an interesting response here, and can start by looking at the ways that Sapir-Whorf has been disproved. There will be loads of literature on that.

However, it would be interesting to look at the argument as an unpicking of the other side’s rather weird, ritualistic superstitious belief that a behavior doesn’t exist if the creatures doing it can’t describe it. It is not on the ancient Greeks and Romans to categorise and interpret their behavior for a modern educated audience. They do not have the wherewithal to do so. They are also fucking dead. We can name the behaviors we see, and describe their impacts, however the hell we like.

Sure, the ancient Greeks used “cancer” to refer to lumpy veiny tumors. We can infer that they still had blood cancer, because their medical texts describe leukaemia and their corpses have evidence of it - they just didn’t know it was cancer. But we do, so we can call it cancer. Just because Homer said “the wine-dark sea” in a flight of girlish whimsy doesn’t mean he was unable to distinguish grape juice from saltwater, which we know, because we can observe that he was an intelligent wordsmith perfectly capable of talking about wine and oceans in other contexts. We are the people who get to stand at our point of history with our words, and name things like “this person probably died of leukaemia” and “poets say things that aren’t necessarily literal” and “this behaviour was racist” and “that’s gay” and “togas kinda slay tho” despite Ancient Greeks having different concepts of cancer, wittiness, prejudice, homosexuality, and slaying than we do today.

Now just to caveat that people do get muddled about the concept of racism. Our understanding of racism from here - this point of history, with these words, probably from the West - is heavily influenced by how we see racism around us today: white supremacy and the construct of “whiteness,” European colonial expansion, transatlantic chattel slavery, orientalism, evangelism, 20th century racial science, and so on. This is the picture of racism that really dominates our current discourse, so people often mistake it for the definition of racism. (Perhaps in a linguistic-deterministic sort of way after all.) As a result, muddled-up people often say things like “I can’t be racist because I’m not a white American who throws slurs at black American people,” while being an Indian person in the UK who votes for vile anti-immigration practices, or a Polish person with a horrible attitude about the Roma. Many people genuinely hold this very kindergarten idea of racism; if your opponent does as well, they’re probably thinking something like “Ancient Greek and Roman people didn’t have a concept of white supremacy, because whiteness hadn’t been invented yet, so how could they be racist?” And that’s unsound reasoning in a separate sense.

Racism as the practice of prejudice against an ethnicity, particularly one that is a minority, is a power differential that is perfectly observable in ancient cultures. The beliefs and behaviors will be preserved in written plays, recorded slurs, beauty standards, reactions to foreign marriages, and travel writing. The impacts will be documented in political records, trade agreements, the layouts of historical districts of ancient towns.

You don’t need permission to point out behaviours and impacts. You can point them out in any words you like. You can make up entirely new words to bully the ancient romans with. You are the one at this point of history and your words are the ones that get used.

Pretending that “words” are some kind of an intellect-obscuring magical cloud in the face of actual evidence is just a piece of sophistry (derogatory) on the part of your opponent here. It’s meant to be a distraction. You can dismiss this very flimsy shield pretty quickly and get them in the soft meat of them never reading anything about the actual material topic, while they’re still looking up dictionary definitions or whatever.

[cobragardens]

My Favorite Good Omens Moment:

An Essay on Why It Is Cool and Rad (Part 1)

There's this moment in Good Omens that makes me cackle every time I see it and leaves me full of warmth, so here's an essay on its context and meaning, because explication and analysis are how I show love. I will try to keep my thoughts as tight as possible, but they do have a tendency to spiral outwards, and I am very stoned. Come, sistren, and get nerdy with me.

My favorite moment in the series so far occurs in 1601. To approach it we will first need an assload of context. There's a TL;DR in bold at the end of the Context if you don't fancy reading the whole assload. Key arguments are in italics and bold throughout.

David Tennant gives Crowley a very consistent facial expression every time Aziraphale says something so outlandish Crowley can't quite believe he's hearing it. It's this one:

Chronologically, we see the Eyebrows of Disbelief twice before my fave moment in 1601: once (above left) in that scene on the Garden Wall that familiarizes the audience with Crowley's face before adding the dark glasses, when Aziraphale admits he's given away his sword; once when Aziraphale tells Bildad the Shuhite that he, Aziraphale, has Fallen because he lied to the angels to save Job's children.

The Eyebows of Disbelief always signal surprise and amusement with something Aziraphale has said or done. This amusement is sometimes at Aziraphale's expense and sometimes not.

In the gifs above, Crowley is laughing because what Aziraphale has just admitted to doing is fantastic and unexpected and frankly pretty gd punk rock. He's not laughing at Aziraphale, he's laughing because he is delighted with him. The only record we have thus far of Crowley laughing at Aziraphale is this one:

Crowley laughs when Aziraphale informs him--him, a demon who has personally been through the process of Falling--that Aziraphale is Fallen and must be a demon now. As though of the two of them Aziraphale is the expert on how and under what circumstances this occurs.

And yet when Crowley sees Aziraphale's distress--not his fear of being taken to Hell, but his heartbreak and lostness over the fact that his conscience has diverged from God's stated will--Crowley stops laughing, and instead he acts very kindly towards Aziraphale. He validates the gravity of what Aziraphale has done and assures him he won't turn him in. He sits with him so Aziraphale isn't totally alone (like Crowley probably was) as he goes through the loneliest moments of his existence to that point and picks himself up newly weighted with the secret he must now bear.

And after this scene (in canon as it stands thus far), we don't see Crowley laugh at anything Aziraphale says or does again.

And he really has to work for it sometimes. We talk a lot about the things Michael Sheen is able to convey with his face in Good Omens, and absolutely rightly so; David Tennant earns a chunk of his paycheck in this regard as well. If you haven't given yourself the treat yet, rewatch the scene in Will Goldstone's magic shop in 1941 and focus on Crowley's reactions:

Tennant takes great care to show, with precision, that Crowley is expending effort not to react to Aziraphale's nervous chaos Muppetry and lack of self-awareness. Crowley is self- and socially and contextually aware enough that he knows (better than Aziraphale, at least, which is not a high bar to clear) what's cringe, what's funny, what's ridiculous, how to behave. But whenever Aziraphale crosses a boundary of normalcy, or even sanity, and there is opportunity to laugh at him, Crowley very carefully doesn't react. He doesn't interrupt him, he doesn't try to correct him, he doesn't make fun of him, he doesn't even smirk; he just watches him, as stone-faced as he can manage, no matter how bizarre Aziraphale becomes.

We should be reading this lack of reaction to Aziraphale's social and rational transgressions as powerful positive action. Go watch the Doctor Who episode "Human Nature," or literally any episode of The Inbetweeners, or read or watch Regeneration, and reflect on what it shows you about English masculinity; then consider again the depth of significance in how English- and male-coded character Crowley treats English- and male-coded character Aziraphale in an England created by an English and male-codedpresenting author based off a book written by himself and another male-presenting author. Within its context of English masculinity, Crowley's lack of reaction is not a neutral stance; it is a very fucking loud show of support.

This is not even an inference; it's stated outright in the show. Crowley himself puts it into words 422 years after my favorite moment:

You know how Crowley calls Aziraphale "angel" because the factuality of the descriptor offers him plausible deniability to any Heavenly or Infernal agents who might be listening? Remember how Crowley is a great equivocator? Crowley is equivocating here, too: he's using the cover of what Maggie and Nina will take as a disparaging joke at Aziraphale's expense in order to make a perfectly sincere statement. This is his genuine perception of one of the relationship dynamics he has with Aziraphale and how he feels about that dynamic. Crowley thinks he himself is quite witty (an accurate assessment), Crowley thinks Aziraphale isn't sufficiently self- or contextually aware to hide how strange he is and therefore frequently says and does mad things (also an accurate assessment), and Crowley is Into. That. Shit.

Okay. Now let's look at 1601.

Chronologically it's been almost 1,000 years since we last saw Aziraphale and Crowley. In 537, Aziraphale isn't willing even to consider a labor-saving working arrangement with Crowley of fucking off home out of the damp of Arthurian Wessex; but by 1601, he's worked (and met, and Arranged) with Crowley "dozens of times now," Crowley says, and Azirapahle does not correct him.

In that millienium, Aziraphale has grown to care deeply about Crowley:

In fact he may be somewhat smitten with him:

Seriously, go back and watch Aziraphale here as Crowley approaches and starts speaking to him: he doesn't start smiling until he recognizes that the person speaking to him is Crowley (but he only smiles at Crowley while Crowley's not looking at him).

And Crowley is definitely become smitten with Aziraphale:

Our man(-shaped entity) is so allergic to work he sets up a meeting to weasel, cajole, or (as it happens) cheat a coin toss to get Aziraphale to do an easy temptation for him in Edinburgh, and then in the same conversation agrees to miracle a play into success because Aziraphale gives him a single hopeful look. Crowley's got it bad.

TL;DR: The Eyebrows of Disbelief happen when Crowley is surprised and amused by something Aziraphale has said or done. Sometimes that amusement is delight with Aziraphale; sometimes it is at Aziraphale's expense. Crowley is aware of this distinction, and when his amusement is at Aziraphale's expense, he suppresses it, even when it takes some effort on his own part, and remains stocially composed. This is equivocation on his part: to Celestial/Infernal operatives lacking knowledge of the intricacies of human behavior, this non-reaction would seem like neutrality; to Aziraphale, who shares with Crowley and the audience the contextual knowledge of English masculinity's utter viciousness, this non-reaction is a profound show of support; and in the safety of support from Crowley, Aziraphale lets his weirdness blossom.

As another meta points out [link if I find it again], we also see in Aziraphale's wordless request about Hamlet and Crowley's immediate understanding of it that by 1601 Aziraphale and Crowley have developed an unspoken, coded method of communication with each other.

Now that we have all of that in mind, here's my favorite moment in Good Omens:

Ixi of Fuck Yeah Good Omens has even kindly archived a closeup of the aftermath, for Crowley, of "Buck up!" In gif 4, above, you can see that the tiny smile is an involuntary reaction that happens as Crowley's eyes widen: for a fraction of a second, he's caught off-guard. In the closeup it's easier to see that he suppresses the smile and gives a tiny shake of his head, Eyebrows of Disbelief heading for his hairline.

There are a number of things Crowley's reaction could mean and what messages it could communicate (we'll get to that in a sec), but regardless, his reaction is, unquestionably, one of surprise and suppressed amusement. This is an aspect of Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship and characters that I like very much, viz., that one of the reasons Crowley likes Aziraphale (though Aziraphale is judgy and occasionally, unintentionally, horrifyingly cruel) is that in addition to being one of the kindest and most courageous beings in existence, Aziraphale is mad as a bag of frogs. Crowley does not know what is going to come out of Aziraphale's lovely mouth next, but Crowley does know there's a good chance he will struggle to believe he's hearing it, and Crowley likes that.

That's what makes this my favorite moment. What makes this moment so cool and rad, though, is its ineffability. We know from the Eyebrows of Disbelief that Crowley is surprised and amused, but any of several things could be read in that almost imperceptible headshake. Like:

What are you doing? or

Why are you like this? or

How can you be aware that you say these things out loud and yet still say them out loud? or

How has my existence come to this? this moment of listening to such insanity?

each of which is a fair and just feeling to have/message to communicate to a man(-shaped entity) who is yelling "Buck up!" at Hamlet.

But that's only if we read Crowley's amusement as being at Aziraphale's expense. And I don't think we should. Because watch Aziraphale here:

He's doing it on purpose. He is shouting a hilariously inappropriate, 100% authentic Aziraphale-brand thing over arguably the gloomiest passage of Shakespeare's famously gloomy play--right after Crowley complains about its gloominess--and he is watching Crowley as he does it. Look at his smile! He knows he's being Deeply Uncool, and he is doing it literally right into Crowley's face.

Remember that we just talked about how by this point in the chronology Crowley and Aziraphale have learned to communicate with each other nonverbally through facial expression? So what does it mean when Aziraphale responds to Crowley's grumbling about Hamlet's gloominess by smiling his minxious Mona Lisa Aziraphale smile, looking right into Crowley's face, and yelling at Hamlet to buck up? Aziraphale, in a carefully coded, carefully Aziraphale way, is joking with Crowley. His silliness in this moment is for Crowley.

So with aaaaaaallllll of this essay in mind, what does it mean that Crowley's reaction to "Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!" is widening eyes, an involuntary twitch of his mouth toward a smile, and then, his eyebrows still showing surprise and amusement, a tiny shake of his head?

Once more, with inferences:

I do propose, y'all, on the basis of this web of evidence I submit for consideration, that what we are seeing here in my favorite moment of Good Omens is the ineffable equivalent of Aziraphale and Crowley sharing a laugh.

Crowley's amusement here isn't at Aziraphale, because Aziraphale is eliciting that amusement consciously and deliberately. Aziraphale, in good spirits and happy to see Crowley, uses his Aziraphaleness to offers Crowley not only an opportunity for amusement, but the opportunity to be in agreement with him about what in this situation is funny. They're on the same side of this joke.

And his humor lands just as he wants it to: Crowley, just for a moment, is caught off-guard, and tickled--

But remember, Crowley is worried in this scene about being surveilled ("I thought you said we'd be inconspicuous here"), and he worries about audio surveillance a lot ("Walls have ears"; "Don't say that. If my lot hear [etc.]," etc.), so he's very limited in what reactions he can show or voice. Aziraphale knows Crowley must be perceived by anyone watching or listening to disapprove of his, Aziraphale's, behavior (just as he must be perceived to disapprove vociferously of Crowley's). Both of them know this.

--so Crowley suppresses the smile almost successfully, and shakes his head at Aziraphale, minutely, to say Stop. What you're doing is working, you're close to making me laugh, and if I show how much you have just delighted me, it will blow our cover of "just an Arrangement."

I offer three final data points in advancing my argument that what we see in my favorite Good Omens moment is Aziraphale successfully attempting to joke with Crowley and Crowley recognizing that overture from Aziraphale and being momentarily surprised into a reaction of genuine delight before pulling his face back under control and indicating to Aziraphale that he must stop:

Datum 1. Nothing going on with Crowley's face in this moment is accidental. We know for sure we're not seeing David Tennant react to Michael Sheen here not only because of literally every other point of Tennant's and Sheen's performances in the show, but because Tennant is wearing opaque contacts and sunglasses under film lighting and therefore cannot be reacting to anything more compelling than a level-10-lift blur because Tennant cannot see shit. Crowley's reaction is a deliberate and careful performance choice on Tennant's part, and it's underscored by director Douglas Mackinnon's choice to film Tennant in 1/2 profile to keep Crowley's eyes visible and face readable to the audience. This reaction is supposed to be there and supposed to be meaningful.

Datum 2. The husbands in 1601 is not the only moment in Good Omens when we may be seeing an angel and a demon communicate the message Stop doing that, it makes us look too familiar between themselves with a little headshake:

Datum 3: There is another moment in Good Omens when Aziraphale offers Crowley the opportunity to enjoy a joke with him. There, too, his humor lands just as he intends, so we can use this other moment as a comparison to our 1601 moment. I don't have gifs for it, but go back and watch it, S1E6 49:27-42. Snips below.

Aziraphale says something that surprises and amuses Crowley (he asked Hell for a rubber duck while he was sloshing around in the holy water)--

--but what Aziraphale says makes Crowley smile long before it makes him laugh.

In fact, his laugh, though a genuine cackle, is quite delayed, and he laughs only after Aziraphale starts laughing too.

In other words, Crowley's reaction to Aziraphale offering him amusement they're both on the same side of is exactly the same as his reaction to "Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!" right up until he laughs instead of shaking his head. Here, after Armageddidn't, Crowley doesn't have to suppress his reaction, so he can let the smile bloom; he doesn't have to control his response, so, although it takes him a few extra seconds, he lets the smile turn into a laugh.

But in 1601, it's not safe to laugh at Aziraphale's humor. It's not safe even to smile at him. A single piece of evidence or eye/earwitness testimony that he and Crowley have anything more friendly than the most passing and acrimonious of professional relationships could mean death to either or both of them, and depending on what Falling is like, maybe something worse than death for Aziraphale.

But Aziraphale is so funny, so effervescent for Crowley, at Crowley, that it catches Crowley just for a moment. Crowley's eyes widen and the corner of his mouth twitches toward a smile.

And that's dangerous. If Aziraphale keeps acting so charmingly mad, Crowley is going to laugh, and they can't afford that risk, so he shakes his head at Aziraphale. Stop, or I won't be able to keep a straight face around you.

And Aziraphale apparently receives that message, because he immediately eases off. Less than 60 seconds later we learn that he's deeply concerned for Crowley's safety--and that it's not so much that Aziraphale has Crowley wrapped around his little finger as it is that Crowley has wrapped himself around Aziraphale's little finger like a snake arranging itself on the tree branch it calls home.

UPDATE 14/10/23: HOLY SHIT Y'ALL IT GETS EVEN BETTER! THERE IS A SEQUEL!

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 1601 #good omens microexpressions #good omens headshake #angelfish #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #good omens fanalysis

[malewifeharem]

yandere!malleus alphabet

彡- ,, yandere twst malleus alphabet (template from @dear-yandere eheheheh)

cw ⁞ violence, blood, manipulation, just general yandere behaviour??? kinda suggestive in K. not proofread.

an ⁞ feel free to req more of this for other characters only from om! for now :')

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

VERY INTENSE, to say the least. fae are known to be very territorial and possessive and malleus isn't an exception. he likes to shower you with affection and expensive gifts such as jewels or gold and doesn't allow you to 'reject' them. he has no objections to locking you up somewhere he can keep his eyes on you or starting wars with other kingdoms if it means that you'll be his.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

he definitely wouldn't mind getting rid of any nuisances getting in between the both of you but he always makes sure to clean up before you arrive. the scene is extremely gruesome — blood and guts would basically be in every crevice of the room. he only manages to get rid of the stench with his magic, so he tries to not kill people too often, lest he ends up overblotting and harming you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

nope nope nope. it doesn't matter how pathetic you look when you cry, he could never ridicule you like that. you just need to get used to your new environment! can't you see that he really wants the best for you?

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

his gifts and affection will be reciprocated, whether you like it or not. sure, he'll be more lenient if you've only just been captured but you can't keep shunning him away! will tie your wrists and ankles together to get you to stop struggling during naps and cuddle sessions. he has slipped love potions into your food before too.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

you and lilia are probably the only people who know about his... aggressive tendencies. he'll often times weep at your feet inconsolably — crying about how much he loves you and how it hurts when you don't feel the same way. as if that wasn't uncomfortable enough, he'll suddenly start rambling on about how you'd love his tower in briar valley and that you'd have no need to ever step out of it. humans like living in that kind of luxury, right?

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

fight back? against the 5th most powerful magic wielder in the world? yeah, good luck. he would never intentionally harm you, but you're really breaking his heart like this. he simply doesn't understand why you're so upset and just tries to calm you down to the best of his abilities. this is just a small lover's spat, it'll all be over soon!

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

he does not find this funny, he takes it very seriously. what's wrong with what you have now? do you not like his gifts? why do you keep trying to run away? he's very confused and hurt — nevertheless, he always manages to catch you, leaving you right back where you started.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

before your abduction, you were still the human transfer student at NRC, you were still allowed the freedom to talk to anyone you wanted. malleus knew you and leona were quite close — the lion male having a small liking towards you. he was already quite irked at the sight, but he snapped when you hugged the lion, enchanting the whole vicinity with his signature spell — causing everyone to fall into a deep slumber. that's when he took the opportunity to lock you up in his room and you've been there since.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

he hopes to marry you one day and have you rule briar valley with him as his rightful queen. he definitely wants to have a family with you too, he does need to continue his royal fae bloodline!

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

YES. he tries to talk to you and hear whatever complaints you have but it's all in vain. he refuses to believe that you loathe him. he'll stand there in silence before quickly excusing himself — you don't see him for a few days. what does he do during this time? oh i don't know... maim whatever friends you have left? (ehe!)

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

he's very sweet. he has never felt so strongly for anyone before and he's going to give all of his love to you! he's constantly touching you, whether or not it's wrapping his arms around you or marking you up with bites. it's how fae show affection for their loved one! he'll charm you with his honeyed words — praising you when you're being obedient in the daytime and gently lulling you to sleep by night.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

before your abduction, he'd slip beautifully handwritten letters into your locker. however, it has no sender — your only clue as to who it was being the bright green wax seal. you thought it was just a random diasommnia student and didn't think much about them till the contents of these letters started becoming increasingly disturbing. saccharine poems of love and his promised reveal turned to bitter jealousy and rage at your 'infidelity' to him. how dare you speak to other students, especially those from his own house! you stopped receiving letters entirely but malleus suddenly started showing up at ramshackle dorm more often.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

sort of? lilia is the only other person who knows about his treatment of you. to everyone else, he's still unapproachable and cold. only you get to see him all pathetic and vulnerable. (manfailure)

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

being locked up in his room means zero contact with the outside world — you wonder how ace, deuce and grim are doing. solitude was enjoyable sometimes, sure, but you haven't seen anyone who isn't malleus for weeks. imagine the horror when even he stops showing up! this silent treatment usually ends within a few days because it breaks his heart to not speak to his darling too.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

you're pretty much deprived of social interaction. i hope you have an interest in gargoyles.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

he's surprisingly patient. his punishments are all quite tame — none of them being harmful to you. he understands if you need more time to get used to your new life but make him wait too long and he might slip a love potion into your food!

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

no. just no. if you died, he'll find a way to resurrect you — charm, potion, curse, spell, anything. trying to escape from him isn't something feasible for a human. you're stuck with him forever!

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

your cries of sorrow does bring him a sense of guilt and regret but the thought of letting you openly roam free again brings him more rage and worry. try convincing him to go out with you to a secluded area — he might agree if he's in a good mood!

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

poor dragon boi has lived for almost two centuries with no one he can consider a friend :( everyone's too scared or cautious of him to talk normally. so when a sweet fragile human like you treats him so nicely, he might just tear up. especially since you continued to do so after learning of his identity.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

( already kinda answered in C and F)

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

(i don't think so? define classic yandere :'D)

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

he's so patient and kind, if you play your cards well, you might be able to convince him to let you out for a little while — under his supervision, of course.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

intentionally, no. never! he has definitely damaged (killed) whatever social life you had before and your freedom but it was mostly unintended! (yea ok malleus...)

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

he likes to think that you two are equals — you as his bride, wife, future queen. he treasures whatever shred of affection you give him but i don't think he'd ever reach the point of kissing the ground you walk on or anything like that.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

(read H) in order to get to that point, he's already been tolerating your 'unfaithfulness' for a few months.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

probably. he already uses love potions on you, who's to say he won't make it permanent?

#twst malleus draconia #twst malleus #twst x reader #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst #disney twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus x yuu #twst yuu #x reader #twst diasomnia #yandere #tw yandere #male yandere #yandere boyfriend #yandere alphabet #yandere malleus draconia #yandere malleus x reader

[goldlightsaber]

it's the way connor is one of the richest motherfuckers on the planet and yet he's never had the human, quintessential experience of doing karaoke at a bar. and when he does finally do it, it's in the most misplaced place ever: an isolated room at an expensive, fancy bar with no other patrons around except his siblings, who are skeptical and not along for the ride because they never learned to have stupid fun together. they go because they're trying to do something nice for connor, but connor will never experience karaoke like in the movies because the roys aren't capable of doing what it requires: being silly and destroying their own egos. doing it in some hole-in-the-wall bar, with other patrons watching them fail miserably together on stage. they're not getting on that stage with connor. they went through the motions of finding a karaoke bar, sure, but connor was singing alone, and not for more than one song, before business intervened. he's done it, he marked it off his bucket list, but he probably came out wondering why the hell it felt so empty and not like the movies at all

#connor roy #succession #roy siblings #shiv roy #roman roy #kendall roy #text #succession spoilers

[aziraphales-library]

hello! i was wondering if you could help me find some fics where aziraphale and crowley get drunk together and maybe realize some things about each other. not looking for anything specific, just that. thank u so much!!!!

Hey! We have some drunken fics here. And I've got a few more for you now...

I want to hold your hand (I think you'll understand) by victoridiaz (T)

“You’ll like this one.” Said Crowley, already pulling out one of the records. “It’s culture, Angel. You’ve got to get your head out of the eighteenth century.” What the hell, thought Aziraphale. He was feeling a bit adventurous tonight. He let Crowley man the record player. Aziraphale wasn’t very good with it anyway. - Crowley and Aziraphale get very drunk one night and Crowley decides to introduce the angel to a band he really should have heard of by now.

one late night (and another, and another) by gomensgay (G)

One night, after far more alcohol than was typically advisable, Aziraphale lets slip something he never meant to say. Something that, somehow, Crowley has heard before.

Human Affection by Lady of Prompts (G)

One night over drinks, Crowley makes an assertion about humans and kissing. After all, he *knows* these things, right? But Aziraphale refuses to believe him, and there's only one way to prove his point. Or, possibly, two idiots who are drunk and silly and very comfortable with each other having a very silly argument. Written for the Kisses_Bingo event, prompt: Behind the Knee Kiss -- Aziraphale’s hand was resting right there. Grinning, Crowley snatched it up and kissed the back of it. Well. Nearly. Thumb is technically part of the hand. “Crowley!” The angel jerked his hand free. “What’s that s’posed to prove?” “You din’ like it?”

Uncontrollable by Mizmak (G)

Will the kiss a drunken Aziraphale plants on Crowley's lips be an act he regrets when sober?

They have hands, but cannot feel by Augenblickgotter (M)

Aziraphale and Crowley have skated around each other, literally barely touching, and quietly longing. They've even had close calls and almost let potential feelings slip out. After averting the Armageddon, Aziraphale feels there's no time like now to confess how he feels. Does Crowley feel the same, or has he been toying with him all these years? Lots of yearning, drunk confession, pining, soul bearing and revealing and mild sexual situations.

That's Not Funny by cyankelpie (G)

Aziraphale has never sensed even a shred of love from Crowley, which is perfectly alright. It isn't Crowley's fault demons can't love. But then Crowley makes what must be a cruel joke at his expense, and Aziraphale can't control his emotions as well while drunk. Luckily, he doesn't remember the confession in the morning. Crowley doesn't see why the angel was so upset over something he probably knew all along, but he'll make sure it stays forgotten.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #drunk confessions #drinking #alcohol #short fic #mod d

[msbarrybeeson]

Don’t | Donnie X Reader

A/N: This was so lovely to write. In my opinion, Donnie would be the most challenging of the four brothers. I think there are specifics to his behavior and personality, so trying to accurately replicate it does take some time. Apologies for any out-of-characterness from Donnie. Remember that constructive criticism is always appreciated, especially for characters, and enjoy! 

Requested: @sunnyselks 

Summary: You were wounded from protecting Donnie. When you were waving off his demands to treat you, he had to take it into his own hands to tend to you.

Genre: Hurt-Comfort

Reader: Second POV. Gender-neutral pronouns if any.

Pairing: Rise!Donnie X Reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood, needles, cuts. Argument over each other’s safety.

Word Count: ~1060

~

“Don, I’m fine.”

“Oh, sure, tell me that while your clothes are soaked in blood!” Donnie yelled. “Take off your shirt, (Name), or I’m not letting you leave the grounds of this room.”

“Donnie,” you stressed, clutching the wound on your arm. 

“(Name), don’t.”

You turned away from him, about to leave his room despite his warning. “It’s a minor injury, I’m perfectly fi—.”

Suddenly, small chips leeched onto your arm, catching you off-guard. They unfolded into wrist binds, where you realized this was his way of forcing you to stay put.

“Don!” you grunted, as the binds pulled you toward facing a wall. “Are you serious!?”

“As Galileo is about his heliocentric model.” Donnie took a binder clip from one of his desk drawers. “You leave me no choice, (Name).” As soon as the turtle lifted your shirt up from behind, chills ran over your skin from the cold air hitting the other cut on your back. He wrapped the hem over your collar, then proceeded to clip it.

“I could’ve done this myself or gone to a hospital,” you muttered.

Donnie scoffed. “And let them force you to pay expensive bills as your last resort when you have me? I thought you knew better than that.” He cleaned the blood around your wound with a wet paper towel before applying an alcohol wipe to disinfect.

“You know full well you can’t stitch your own back either. You wouldn’t want to risk inquiring your parental guardians for help in the end and being forced to give a whole explanation.”

“...”

From the corner of your eyes, you could see Donnie picking up a needle. The thought of it puncturing you made you shudder. There were vaccinations and blood tests, but they never changed your tension with needles.

You wanted to get this over with— the suspense was only making you more vulnerable.

“Are you going to inject the needle, Donnie—?” Your nails immediately dug into your palm as pain struck. "Argh..!" You winced badly.

“Don’t move,” he paused, “if that wasn’t obvious enough.”

“Easier said than done when I'm not used to having my skin pricked—!” You seethed, “Urgh.. couldn’t you have numbed it?”

“What, with lidocaine?” Donnie replied monotonously. “No, because you wouldn’t learn and would try to save me again—,” he pricked the needle the fourth time, “even though you are a human who could’ve gotten killed— God—why in the name of logic did you do that, (Name)!?”

“I did it to protect you!” you argued.

“Don’t you dare ignore the fact that you could’ve gotten killed!”

“I am capable of my own safety.”

“Scoffs. Think common sense, (Name). You’re a human,” he reminded, the anger in his voice showing. “I’m a mutant turtle; I have the biological features to defend myself!”

“You’re a soft-shelled turtle.”

Donnie stopped moving the needle. "Really, assuming that my soft-shell automatically makes me vulnerable? Are you trying to tell me I’m unable to protect myself because of that, (Name)?”

He frowned. “I have my technology— my intelligence to accommodate, so don’t put yourself in danger whenever the hell possible and let me handle myself. End of discussion.”

You wanted to slam your fists. As he was about to add another stitch, your body shook.

“They destroyed your battle shell!” Anguish scratching your voice. “Just because you're a mutant or because you have your military-grade tech, doesn't mean you won't get murdered, crushed!

God, don’t take it the wrong way. I’m not trying to assume or belittle neither you nor your tech. All I'm concerned about is keeping you alive!”

“...”

“You weakened your voice. “If me getting injured means you’d be okay, then that’s enough for me.”

Donnie’s breath hitched.

..You knew your turtle wasn’t great at apologizing, but his silence told you everything. He didn’t make a snarky or sarcastic remark.. instead, he listened.

“..I’m sorry.”

“I know. But don’t put yourself down.. I never once thought you're supposed to be perfectly strong or invulnerable. That applies to everyone all the same. Flaws happen, whether we're fine with it or not.”

You turned your head to look at Donnie. Something was still bothering him.

“But I’ll try not to scare you again if that makes you feel better.” The tension left his face, and he proceeded to finish the last few stitches.

It was all calm and quiet until he dragged his cold finger lightly over the stitched-up wound. You shuddered.

“You keep flinching so much.”

“You’re one to talk, you’re sensitive to touch as much as I am, if not so much more.”

“No, no, not that. I find it interesting, because.. I don’t see you reacting so violently when April stitched up the other cut on your back. You know, from falling off the table.” As Donnie applied a cotton pad and tape to cover your wound, he looked up to meet your eyes.  

But you quickly faced away to the other direction.

Donnie leaned the same way, one of his brows raised.

And you avoided eye-contact yet again.

.

.

.

Ah.

“You’re flustered.”

“What?” The red rushing to your ears.

“Flustered,” he repeated. “Its definition being ‘agitated, confused, ruffled—.’”

“No, I meant: how am I flustered?”

Donnie dragged his finger along your skin again. You felt your face heat up.

“You’re flustered from having your back exposed to me.”

“I’m not.” You sensed his ego returning.

“Tell that to my lie-detector and we’ll see how that goes.”

“You have a polygraph?”

“Of course not,” Donnie actually scoffed. “We all know polygraphs are never accurate enough to be trusted.” He unclipped your shirt and released the binds on your wrists.

You groaned, rubbing your aching hands. “You had me binded to a wall, and lifted my shirt to stitch my cut— so of course— I would feel exposed.. and flustered.” You sat in your turtle's desk chair.

“Yes, exactly, I did that to treat you." He crossed his arms. "And I find that hypocritical, considering you exposed yourself and your whereabouts on the Internet."

You gave him a look, before holding your knees to your chest. There was a change in expression as you whispered, "..Thanks."

Donnie stood awkwardly, rubbing his arm once he heard you and finding sincerity on your face. The soft-shelled turtle stepped closer to you and slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

"Hey, I thought you don't like this intimate stuff," you joked.

Now Donnie himself became flustered. “Don’t, (Name).”

#rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello #rise of the tmnt #rise of teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #rottmnt x reader #reader insert #imagine #fan fiction

[themirokai]

now I wanna know- why isn't drinking water free in the US?

Hi there friend! Thanks very much for taking the bait from this post. Buckle up, this is a long one.

If you want to put out a cistern and collect rainwater and use that, congratulations! Your water is free! Plus the cost of maintaining your cistern and keeping it clean. If you’re lucky enough to live somewhere with a high enough water table to have a well, then your water is also free + the cost of the well and well maintenance.

But if you want water to come out of your tap on demand and you can’t or don’t want to maintain a cistern and you can’t or don’t want to have a well… you need public water!

How do we get public water? Well, a government entity (usually. there are some private utilities, but that’s a different post. I have strong feelings) has rights to take water out of a river or a lake, or they have a reservoir, or they have access to an aquifer. Then they have to transport the water out of the source. This generally requires aqueducts or massive pipes, which are expensive and need to be maintained, which is also expensive. The pipe leading out of one of my utility’s reservoirs is 12 feet in diameter.

Does the water go directly from the source to your home? Nope! It gets piped to a water filtration plant! The process of modern water filtration is complicated but it involves both physical and chemical treatment to make sure the water isn’t carrying any parasites, harmful bacteria, or pollutants and it has the right pH. Not only are these filtration plants extremely expensive to build and maintain but the process of operating them is extremely expensive, both in terms of hiring skilled staff and having appropriate materials for the filters and chemical treatment.

After the treated water (called “finished water” in the biz) is ready it does get piped to your house.

If you use public water, do you know where your local water filtration plant is? No? That probably means it’s not in your immediate neighborhood, which probably means it’s several miles or more away. To get to your house, the water needs to travel through an extensive pipe network. These pipes are smaller but they have to remain pressurized so that no contaminants can get into the water on its way to your house. But pipes break! Especially if you live somewhere with a freeze/thaw cycle. Maintaining this pipe network is, you guessed it, expensive! It requires materials and extremely skilled workers who perform in very very difficult conditions. Plus lots of engineering to keep the whole system pressurized even when one part of it breaks. Oh, and you know what lots of pipes were made out of in the early 20th century? Lead! So all around the country utilities need to make extensive and costly infrastructure upgrades because now we know lead pipes are really freaking bad.

Okay, so you get the basic picture. And I haven’t even gotten into Safe Drinking Water Act compliance, but most of that happens at the filtration plant. Oo! Or desalinization because some utilities pull their water from the sea and need to take the salt out. I know basically nothing about this except that it is likely complicated and expensive to do at scale.

This is essentially why I get frustrated by people who argue “why should we pay for something that falls out of the sky?” Because finished water doesn’t fall from the sky and it sure as hell doesn’t fall from the sky into your faucet. (Side note: as a public utility official I have been screamed at by the “it falls from the sky” people. A thing I like about the private sector is that people scream at me a lot less.)

Now, there is a very strong argument to be made that because water is necessary for human life, it should be provided by the government for free to everyone. And just like the costs of roads or public education, this should be part of the public budget and paid for by taxes and no one should have a water bill. I don’t disagree with this. I’m sure that’s how it’s done in some countries.

I don’t have a well-researched answer on the history of water utilities but I do have some facts and some (very) educated conjectures. Water rights in the US are complicated (another separate post!) but they’re based on private ownership. Ever since white people came to this country people have been claiming ownership over water and charging each other money for taking water out of rivers or lakes or the ground. You can measure how much of it someone uses and charge them for it. Water is treated like a commodity because unlike other public goods, it *can* be treated like a commodity and then, you know, capitalism. Again, I’m not saying that’s right.

But as a society, if we believe that no one should have a water bill, then we need to figure out how to pay for all the very expensive steps in the process I outlined at the top. Could that just be taxes? Sure, if you have a system that supports taxes at that level. Do I believe that public funding of water infrastructure would be a fuckton better than a lot of things we use taxes for now? Absolutely! But that requires massive institutional change and this isn’t generally an issue that people know enough about to demand change.

If you read this far, congratulations! You now know more stuff about drinking water!

#hey if you enjoyed reading this consider reblogging it #it took me a while to write up #and I love educating people about this stuff #also if you have follow up questions please send them along #miro does asks #miro irl #drinking water #public utilities #water utilities #public water #long post

[thedemises]

. . .  PAINTING NAILS (BY FORCE)! featuring mephistopheles!

contains! . . . lowercase writing, obey me! shall we date?, some swearing here and there, mephistopheles being a little jerk, probably ooc! mephistopheles cuz idk much about his character-, mc is a human-ram hybrid (having ears, horns, and some other characteristics and traits of a ram), mc is gender neutral, mc is strong?, mephisto being rammed over 💀 (no mepmep was injured in the making of this scenario), does "bloody hell" count as swearing?, got too lazy during the ending so it's kinda rushed 😔, mentioned the demon brothers, simeon, raphael, luke, and solomon! notes! . . .  an idea by me and good ol' buddy @ringdabel during a chat of ours that switched from talking about satan to his nails to the other characters to the painted nails of all the obey me characters (except for the angels, mephistopheles, and solomon)👍👍

mephistopheles feels like he ran a marathon but then he has the urge to run another mile because— bloody hell, why is that puny human exchange student so fast?

he, as a noble, never needed to run as much as he would need to in his whole life of existing. already having dozens of quite expensive cars in the ready to transport him with a snap of his fingers—but for some reason mephistopheles felt like running on foot like as if cerberus is hot on his tail was a good option.

wrong.

while most humans don't have much stamina and speed in the first place unless they train hardly for it, from what he had read, there's some others that are given the gift of incredible speed or the natural ability of endurance and stamina. rarely, even both.

and clearly enough—this peasant human, the HUMAN who managed to gain the pacts of all of the seven deadly sins AND survive a whole year in a realm where demons roam and most more likely to eat humans—was this close to snatching the tail cape of his attire off.

“COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHI—”

(well, the said human was turned into a human-ram hybrid when they were transferred to devildom in the first place, so that might've made their speed increase a bit more than an average human's speed—being half ram, after all).

“STOP chasing me, you human peasant!” he makes a sharp turn around a corner, letting his legs take him to demon-lord-knows-where, “i am NOT letting some rubbish paint be applied on my fingernails!!”

with loud yelling responding from behind his back, you declared, “NOT UNTIL YOU COMMIT TO HAVING YOUR NAILS BE PAINTED!!”

mephistopheles doesn't dare to look behind as he kept running in different directions, seemingly beginning to be out of breath when his pace grows irregularly.

the chase eventually doesn't last as long as he expected it to be when he was cornered in a room and then suddenly got rammed to the ground and was pinned down by the forced added weight on his chest, leaving him no other choice than to give up or attempt to resist it.

“KEEP YOUR FLITHY HANDS OFF OF ME!!” a low growl rumbles from his throat with his gritted teeth shown while he attempts to thrash around but you somehow prevent the demon from moving by holding him firmly, restraining his head by wrapping your dominant arm around the noble's neck as you pin down his arms with the other arm of yours.

“not until you let me paint your nails.”

“tch. why is getting my fingernails painted such a big deal to you, human?!” scoffing in disbelief at your insistence, the magenta-haired male tries pushing your body off his back but you don't budge a bit by your stubbornness.

damn, how come you're strong too? aren't humans supposed to be weak?!

“because,” you start, bringing a gloved hand of his closer to you as you inspect it, “doesn't lord diavolo have painted nails? heck, even barbatos and the seven brothers have their nails painted.”

ending your sentence with a determined toothy grin and one of your ram ears flicking a bit, you added, “besides, i think you'll look great with green-ish teal nail polish.”

mephistopheles clicked his tongue at that following a slight eye roll, scowling when you touched the dark patch of the back of his hair, “so? it'll be covered up when I wear my gloves either way, so it's useless and a waste of time.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

after a bit of eventual bickering, pleading, and some reluctance, mephisto finally agrees to your begging persuading with a, “... fine. but be quick about it though.”

turns out, painting your nails is a long, time-consuming process.

currently inside your room in the house of lamentation (who knows how you sneaked him inside without alerting the others), different nail polishes of varied colors were placed aside as both of you sat comfortably on your bed. as you held his now naked hand (after you told him to take his glove off) while carefully painting his nails in a cool green-ish teal color after prepping them and adding a base coat to make the pigment look better in the outcome, the demon sat in front of you with his legs folded underneath his thighs while resting his buttocks on the heels of his feet, his left arm outstretched to you.

during the mostly silent process, mephistopheles' black eyebrows were furrowed with his chin held slightly upwards as his eyes narrowed with skepticism and they held slight impatience but he didn't say anything. until now.

“why'd you want me to wear nail polish?... human.” his voice trailed off for a second, watching you finish painting his middle finger's nail before moving onto the next digit. response to the question, you shrugged your shoulders.

“don't know. the thought of you not wearing nail polish like the others irritated me—though simeon, raphael, luke, and solomon also don't wear nail polish either; so im gonna do their nails next after you.”

“by ramming into them?”

“no, but you were running away from me so i had no other choice.”

eventually, you finished painting all of the nails of his left hand and let him inspect the finished product before doing his other hand—observing the slightest changes in his expression while you waited for his acknowledgment.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...” blinking at his freshly painted fingernails, mephistopheles doesn't speak out loud while he examines his teal-colored nails in silence.

then his eyes, hued a gradient of pear green and chartreuse, glanced up to stare back at you with the slightest satisfaction before darting to the side as the slightest flush appears on his cheeks and the demon nods his head at you slightly.

“... it looks awful.”

taken off guard, you took full offense to this unpleasant reaction. “excuse me? bitch, I took the time to chase you down, ram into you, paint your nails for a painstakingly long time, and this is how you thank me?”

“well i— ... i think it's alright.. i guess.” slightly startled by the sudden shift of attitude, he finally replies that gives you some satisfactory and the demon moves his hand to remove the other glove that his right hand is still wearing until he was eruptedly halted by you grabbing his wrist. “don't,” you firmly told him, dragging it to you and lightly tugged at the edge of his glove, “let the nail polish on your other hand set first for about one to two (1-2) hours before you do anything with it. now, may i?”

the demon's eyelids widened at the extended amount of time before they relaxed and he nodded with his ears turning slightly reddish at the last sentence, giving you permission to take off his glove for him—which you did, peeling it off from his wrist to the fingertips.

with his hand now bare, you begin doing the same prepping process like you did to his other hand before applying nail polish—letting the base coat set for two minutes beforehand and then, painting on the teal colored polish with patience and precise precision; not allowing the green apple-eyed demon to move from his spot (meanwhile, he was just uncharacteristically quietly observing while you worked on his nails—not that he'd admit it to your face or anything).

eventually after a long time, completing the progress of painting mephistopheles' green-ish teal nails and the drying process, you were finished.

after putting your supplies away, you sigh in relief as you flop backwards onto the soft mattress of your bed with your arms sprawled out—not paying attention to the magenta-haired noble in front of you—and closed your eyes.

“finally...” you murmur, making the demon glance at you with an arched eyebrow, “you were a pain in the ass to begin with but at least im finished.”

this ticked off mephistopheles quite a bit, “oi, oi, oi... i stayed completely still for you, peasant! is this how you react after pestering me to paint my nails?!”

“yeah, yeah... whatever.. you can kindly get out of my room now before any of the brothers—especially lucifer—find you, goodnight.”

“h- hey! don't just order me around like you can, human!- OI!!! don't ignore me!! AND DON'T FALL ASLEEP EITHER!!”

“zzZzzZzzzzzZzz...”

© thedemises 2024. all rights reserved. please do not repost, copy, or claim as your own. ━━  word count: 1,436.

#thedemises; writing #thedemises; obey me! #obey me! one master to rule them all #obey me! shall we date? #obey me! #obey me x mc #obey me scenarios #obey me fluff #oneshot #obey me mephistopheles #mephistopheles #obey me mc #obswd #obomtrta #otome game #main character #bad writing #rushed #writing #my writing #nail polish #nails #mc #mephistopheles x reader #obey me #mephistopheles x mc #ram! mc #hc that mc is partially a ram when they got transported to the devildom #gender neutral reader #reader insert

[anxresi]

I’m Sorry, But We REALLY Need To Talk About THIS from the leaked scripts.

Out of the MANY downright idiotic and plainly risible events that occur in future episodes of this accursed show, THIS is the Big One which stands out to me as being utterly beneath contempt (and it’s got nothing to do with Audrey being a balloon, funnily enough).

Who the hell does Andre think he is, giving himself a divorce JUST. LIKE. THAT. Pretty sure even mayors don’t have that power.

Also, how can he adopt Zoe out of the blue? (don’t forget: he’s barely even LIVED with her for one season, and not even say her name for THREE) He hasn’t asked her, and as far as I’m aware, they never even discuss it before the end of the season. 

Come to think of it, what does her ACTUAL father Mr Lee back in New York have to say about this bizarre situation? Is he going to fight this sudden whim of Andre’s in court? Is he dead? No-one knows, sorry. Expecting any kind of logic from Miraculous is like waiting for it to rain chocolate milk in the Sahara during the middle of summer, I guess.

Andre has a point with Audrey, of course... but who was it that caved into his daughter’s worst excesses while his wife was regularly away? Who let her have everything she ever wanted, so she became the spoiled brat we know of today? And who’s set to avoid prosecution for YEARS of political corruption, just because he now wants a quiet life as a movie director with his oh-so-perfect adopted daughter? Here’s a clue... he’s wearing a big sash! 

But suddenly ‘redeeming’ Andre and relieving him of all responsibility to his daughter’s conduct (not to mention avoid punishment), it just goes to know how DETERMINED the show is to vilify Chloe and give her the WORST possible outcome (even ahead of ACTUAL TERRORISTS like Gabriel) even at the expense of changing past events, and radically modifying other character’s personalities at the drop of a hat if it suits their painstaking ‘Chloe sux lol’ agenda. 

But seeing as they’re pretending Chloe was ALWAYS a complete monster with no moments of humanity now, at least they have form in this department. They must hope the audience has amnesia at best, or are complete fools at worse. Well, there’s nothing with MY memory Mr Astruc, and I may not be a genius but my IQ is comfortably three figures last time I checked. Better luck with the rest of the fanbase though!

You can just imagine Thomas personally BEGGING to animate that last shot of ‘Chloe Looking Worried’. Probably offered up the life of his firstborn grandchild. That ****ing *****... 

Anyway, please spare a thought for Chloe being forcibly taken away by her lifelong abuser on a plane to further damage her permanently, I guess. “Take Control’... yep, I’ve heard those words before...

All at the behest of ‘Father Of The Year’ Andre, who I suppose is now meant to be some kind of hero for subjecting his now estranged daughter to even more trauma at the hands of his despised ex.

But it’s all okay! He likes Zoe ‘the best’ you see, so he can quite happily turn off his conscience now that the show has seen fit to allow him to escape any kind of karma, and start a new life with no regrets. YAY!

This is Chloe’s last scene in the episode, the season and possibly last in the series as a whole. 

Gabriel gets a statue. Andre gets a fresh start. Chloe...

I’m sorry, I can’t even think about it. Did I mention I now HATE this show with the intensity of a million suns?

Because I do. And now you know why.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ladybug #chloe bourgeois #Chloe #Zoe Lee #ml salt #ml #ml spoilers #disney #ml leaks

[androgynousblackbox]

Alright, I am watching the reaction stream of another person to see the video of Jamesy and I have thoughts! -Jamesy is REALLY counting on buttering up to Jessie Gender specifically. He named her so many times trying to "apologize" for weaponizing his audience against her when she told him to not erase her work in Nebula just because his whiny entitled ass couldn't accept that he wasn't invited to the platform. Not a single word about actually going to her and talk privately though, just a bunch of "ooh, Jessie Gender is the kindest, best human being ever and I am so sorry to her", like, bitch, WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT HER? Jessie wasn't the worst victim of your actions! Your bullshit with her happened long BEFORE anything of this happened, so why the fuck are you even bringing her up?? My only guess is that Jamesy wants Jessie to speak on his favor and "forgive him", hoping that will bring him new good will from the queer community in youtube. I am fucking crossing my fingers and touching wood that Jessie does not fall for this manipulative bullshit. This guy is literally clout chasing because, again, when it came to the plagiarism, Jessie had NOTHING to do here. Jessie, if you want an easy win, don't say anything about this. Don't even aknowledge it. Pretend like a mosquito just farted in another building. You had nothing to do with this and I am sorry this piece of shit is trying to drag you into it to take advantage of your good nature. -"I only cared about the production side of making videos, that is why I bring Nick in as the main writer." This motherfucker really went and did it. He is literally blaming Nick squarely now, because now he is just not a co-writer. No, now he is the MAIN WRITER. Jamesy here was just trying to making his little films and buy expensive ass equipment while telling everyone he was starving on the streets, he only cared about the production. NICK, THOUGH, HE WAS ALL ABOUT THE WRITING. He was the one who put the words and little Jamesy baby boy here only "produced, directed and edited" (omg, shut the fuck off, man, your editing skills are mid at best) everything. -Way too many sob stories. I don't care, man. I don't fucking care that you got fired or whatever conditions you had. Do you have any fucking clue how many people do really struggle to reach the end of the month and they still never even think of stealing someone else's work? Everyone is struggling and yet, you were the one who made a career for fucking years out of stealing the works of everyone else in this community AND THEN, when call out, tried to paint them as the bad guys.

-A lot, and I do mean, a lot of time to "apologize" to Jessie Gender, but you know who he didn't apologize to? Literally none of the authors he stole from. Not the fan whose edit of Korra he used without credit. Not Alexander Avila. Not that person who was harassed to hell and back by Jamesy and his audience when they showed how he plagiarized on his disney video. Jessie deserved to be name dropped at least thirty times, but those people?? They are fucking nobodies. They don't matter. Why name them at all? It's not like their WORK WAS STOLEN BY YOU OR ANYTHING! And that is another thing! Even if Jamesy is really out there blaming Nick for all the words that they took without credit, then what the fuck is up with all the footage, edits and audiovisual works that weren't for you to take? You said your passion is production. That is part of the production, Jamesy. Is this you admitting you fully just fucking stole them and hoped nobody would notice because you are a lazy piece of garbage?

-"Having to do multiple edits because youtube copyright issues was so hard for me, guys, you don't understand uwu. It was so hard on me to make it less obvious I had plagiarized people!" THAT IS ENTIRELY YOUR OWN FAULT, BRO.

-So, hey, funny thing. I was looking to see if other people were reacting or had reuploaded the video so I could put it here. They haven't yet, there is only two reactions, but while I was doing that I found a video of ANOTHER person talking about Jamesy ripping them off: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsD-wodn288 Apparently Jamesy had stolen a blog post that this person wrote about Lord of The Rings and they weren't known by anyone, they don't even like that article anymore, but still! Go see that video instead of watching Jamesy and support them if you find value on their work.

-Hey, Jamesy. Jamesy. You do know that epilepsy and head injuries or memory issues don't take you threaten, lie and weaponize your audience against people who call out your plagiarism with the evidence in hand, right? That has literally nothing to do actually, because you had to be aware off of the issue for you to lie about it after someone else brought it up. After the first time it happened, you could have hired another beta reader to tell you that ups, your memory/epilepsy/memory issues/ADHD strike again and you don't remember from where you took that quote from, sorry! You had money for that expensive ass camera, you could have. -Like, my guy, there were so many steps involved here. So many steps from writing, production, backlash and your response to the backlash. Even if any part on this was an honest mistake, something I don't fucking believe in because fuck you, you had millions of opportunities to rectified it and change it. And yet you didnd't. And so here we are, without you receiving not even a miserable fucking like. Go to hell. A mistake doesn't get repeated so many times for years. That was all a choice, bitch. Fuck you.

And here is where I stopped because his voice is like nail on my ears.

Don't look at his video, it's truly not worth it. DON'T LEAVE COMMENTS EITHER, YOUTUBE TAKES THAT AS ENGAGEMENT ANYWAY.

#james somerton #jessie gender

[venuscrashed]

Hi there!

Can I maybe get some Hc of the demon brothers with a male Alastor (from Hazbin hotel) like reader (maybe reader is a demon, but not from the devildom, but from actual hell?) Kinda want to keep this short, so here= Reader always has his staff/mic thing with him- no matter where he is. Reader basically always wears old-fashioned suits, has Alastor's sharpish teeth, and is basically always smiling (like Alastor does). How would the demon brothers react to first meeting reader? What would they think of reader at first? How would they act towards reader at first/and after they became friends (or dating, either is fine c:)? Sorry if this is long. I hope ur having a nice day/noon/night :]

low key never watched the show so sorry about that

word count: 1k (total)

warnings: death mentioned in Belphies part, it sucks, literally pulled this out from the back of my closet, gn reader, tags are to reach a wider audience btw

Lucifer: He actually didn’t know what you looked like considering you stuck to the radio. It worried him but nonetheless he was intrigued by your style. The old fashion suits and the staff reminded him of how humans were before he fell. He was also captivated because he could fell the pride in you, your ego was never shown but he could sense the way you felt superior around others. After you become friends he mainly sticks to his office but does hang out with you from time to time. Whether it’s buying you more suits, because you guys basically have the same style, or are off doing stuff for others. Once you guys date he is so smug and your guys superiority complex combined tires out everyone. Even Diavolo is leaving the room when you two are together. 

Mammon: Was absolutely disappointed when he heard he had to babysit you but when he saw you… Thought you were made of money when he first saw you. The old, EXPENSIVE, suit and the staff…there were dollar signs in his eyes. He would be sucking up to you all for that credit card. That smile did creep him out though…He’d get so greedy from just your attention. Is absolutely smitten once you two become friends. Plus, he uses that as an excuse to steal your mic and basically scream in it for hours. Once you start dating, oh god is he flustered. Like “yeah that's my rich, expensive human. Yeah they smile weirdly but it makes me weak in the knees” Is always begging for some money, if you can buy those suits you can spare a couple hundred thousand grimm right?

Levi: Was absolutely disappointed when he had to be there. He was playing games the whole time but once he saw you he was shocked. You lowkey reminded him of this rich dude that wanted to be a detective in this anime but more creepy like, you know? Would absolutely avoid you though, you’re creepy alright. That smile just sends shivers down his spine. Once you become friends he would absolutely be jealous about the size of the crowd you bring in. Why are you so charming? Would also absolutely use your mic for his gaming sessions if his broke and didn’t come within the 15 minutes he ordered it. Once you start dating he would convince you to cosplay with him. He finds some duo or couple that has similar fashion to you and he would just buy(steal) the outfit from you.

Satan: Why was he here again? Oh right he was forced to, much to his dismay. Out of all of the exchange students there(since he most likely never met Simeon, right? idk) you were the most interesting. You remind him of the one of the detectives in his books with that outfit. He tried to impress you when you two first met, can’t have you looking down on him now. I also feel like he would actually like your big smile. Once you two are friends he steals your mic to go and prank Lucifer. 9/10 times he also stole a piece from your wardrobe. When you guys are dating people also steer clear of you two. Since you’re always attached at the hip, nobody stays near you. Scary dog energy from the both of you. He’s the “run if he starts smiling" type and you're the “run if they stop smiling” type.

Asmo: Really just wanted to see the new human exchange students. Was drawn towards you. The style, the staff, the smile, everything. Would absolutely try to charm you and when he fails it actually hurts him. Even before you guys are friends he would steal your clothes. For the “aesthetic” you know? Once you guys are friends he tries and gets your dental routine, he’s lowkey jealous about how white there are and pointy. He’s always hanging off of you and swearing you’ll protect him. When your in his room he’ll steal the mic and start “serenading” you with whatever song. When you guys date he is so in love. Never shutting up about you and Always bragging about you to his two brothers. “And they are so good looking” “We know asmo” “Their smile is amazing” “We know Asmo” “And their eyes…” “We live with them to Asmo”

Beel: What should he have for lunch today? Was staring at you the whole time they were explaining where you were and why. No thoughts behind those eyes type of look. Likes your style, also reminds him of how humans used to be which also reminds him of his sister. If he ever got crumbs on your suit he would feel so bad. “I’ll get it dry cleaned” “Beel it’s fine” “No” He would stop eating around you just to keep the suit clean. Once your friends though he does start eating but is careful. He will always hold it against himself. I’m convinced he tried to eat the mic at one point when he was tired and delirious. When you two start dating he focuses on your teeth more. He has sharp teeth too, but yours are better. Smiles when you smile and gets all giddy when he sees.

Belphie: Was in the attic being delulu again, what else is there to do? When he saw you through the door he was like “you gotta be kidding me” He likes the style, looks too much like Lucifers, although you wear it better. When he kills you he feels bad, obviously. “Can I buy you a new suit” “It’s fine Belphie” “Let me buy you a new suit” “I said it’s fine” “I’m buying you a new suit” Once you two are friends he steals your mic. Gets someone to scream to annoy Lucifer. Pulls so many pranks with it that he gets banned from it. Sees that smile in his nightmares, considering that was the last thing he saw before you died. It’s unfortunate that that's your permanent face too. When you two are dating he feels a bit better about it. Would wear your clothes but they are not sleep worthy, even though he can sleep in anything. Somehow the pranks get ten times worse when you two are dating, it’s a mystery what this man does. 

#x male y/n #x reader #x ftm reader #x gender neutral reader #x gn reader #x female y/n #x female reader #x male reader #obey me x mc #obey me x male reader #obey me x you #obey me x reader #obey me shall we date #venuscrashed

[swmmi-kti]

Trophy? Pet or Spouse?

DNI/BYF

Pairing: Aizetsu x Gn slayer reader

CW/ Summary: Reader is referred to as a pet, Angst. Talk about preparing human meat. (idk dead dove?) Nothing too graphic but reader is also referred to as a trophy.

Demons Don't kidnap at all. They are conniving, cruel, foul and they only ever do things for them. They don't care about anyone else but themselves. Only caring about their next meal. Every creature, simple minded or not, does the things they do for reasons one could never understand. 

And well that’s where you were. You were a slayer. You were a slayer for over two years. And well that had changed.  If it hadn’t been for the simple fact that you had been taken as a prize for a demon. 

You didn’t know how it happened. Really it was anyone's guess. You were fighting one moment and when you suddenly felt your life in danger for the first time. You willingly let yourself be consumed by a demon. 

You were just a slayer. You weren’t going to be able to defeat one of the twelve kizuki let alone upper moon four. 

You were alone when it happened. Fighting with everything you got and were being surrounded by the four clones. You were giving up. Your body was giving up. So you closed your eyes and waited. 

You weren’t winning, you knew your limits.So you waited for a blow, A screech, possibly lightning that immobilized you. But nothing came. So you opened your eyes. Meeting the cool toned blue eyes of sorrow. 

His spear just mear inches away from making contact with you. 

“What the hell is taking so long?” 

At the moment you stopped to accept death it seemed all your energy had left you. It seems You were exhausted. You kept your breathing as calm as you could keep it. But your arms are clearly trembling, your sweating heavily 

And even then it was admirable submitting to someone like Aizetsu. 

He found it beautiful. 

“Aizetsu? Cmon im hungry” 

Now even you were as confused as the other three. Tilting your head to the side as you looked at him. 

“Soo….. is he always like this or?” you asked randomly as if you just had a good spar with a friend of yours. 

The other three didn’t even seem to care that you spoke to them. Only looking at the clone as he flipped his spear down. 

“This one is mine”

.

. 

And well that's how you found yourself now. In a wicked way you were now tied to the demon who spared your life. At the Expense of being his prize. 

You grew to learn that Aizetsu cared for you. But it was more of as if you were just a pretty flower that he found. Maybe some fancy pottery, something other than human. Something like everyday life utilities. 

A pet. 

You wanted to ask for help, Tell someone that you weren't killed in battle. But unfortunately your crow was killed So there you were in this run down shack in the middle of nowhere hoping to have a slayer come by chance. 

If anything you also took up the role of a spouse as well. Aside from nice decoration like how sekido puts it. Aizetsu was rather kind. He wasn’t an angel by any means. But he was gentle with you. And not that he did share you with the rest of them. Or even the main body

But he was soft with you. It made you wonder why. Why exactly were you here and what use are you to him? Were you to be a spouse? A nice little pet or what? 

You wanted to ask exactly what was expected of you. But you feared speaking. Not that He ever gave you any reason to be afraid of him. But it wasn’t your place to speak. Afraid to say all the wrong things, afraid to ask what you were to him. 

Lucky for you he never made you kill for him. Lure food to him whenever he was away from the main body. But he did make you prepare it for him. To his liking. You would often find yourself praying over bits of meat sickened to your core that you, a slayer, were now kept to prepare the very beings you swore to protect. 

Luckily it was just cutting and or making such a nice plate for him, his counterparts or the main body. As when he tried to make you eat or cook it you couldn’t help but cry and throw yourself sick. 

Tonight thankfully he had come back along with the other three. You were thankful and at the same time ready to be yelled at to come along with their plans. However Aizetsu placed his delicate hand on your backside guiding you into the room that was fixed up just for yourself. 

You dreaded ever being in the same room. It seemed that whatever good karma remained speared you ever having to deal with the bad things that come with demons. Aizetsu had told you he never needed sleep. But on days like those many he would lay on your lap looking intently at you making you fidget. 

“Human.. Please sit” 

You listened. In the time you had been kept you never ever could speak to them again. But you just had to ask 

“May..” you watched as the demon jumped a little, startled obviously “May i ask you something?” 

Aizetsu’s gaze lingered as he squinted before sitting down in front of you face to face. No matter how many times you looked at him face, the same shiver ran up your spine. He rose his hand signaling you to continue

“What exactly am i to you?” You questioned “Sekido puts it as nice decor to be your little trophy but you treat me as if i am a dog and then treat me as if im a domestic partner and while i appreciate that you haven’t killed me and actually get me food when i get hungry i must ask what do you want from me?” 

There was silence. And in all the time you’ve been here you have never felt so uncomfortable then now. 

“I had understood that…human spouses are to do what you’ve been doing this entire time. Have i been wrong?” 

You were dumbfounded. You obviously expected the other three to be right about you being just a little treasure for the demon that could not kill you? But a spouse? “I … I mean no but. Spouses speak to each other. They treat each other with love if the circumstances allow it. Usually one isn’t afraid of the other”

Aizetsu looked at you now. His head resting on your lap as it should have been had you not opened your mouth. This time his eyes bore into you. Almost ripping you to shreds. But you couldn’t look away. 

“I’m sorry you fear me. Tell me what is it that i’ve done wrong” 

“You are a demon” 

“Yes”

“And im a human”

“Yes” 

“I think thats very explanatory. I mean i was a slayer before…before this” You gulped down your nerves as you looked at him and asked again. “What is it about me that you find special enough to keep? Im sure you met countless of slayers such as myself”

There was an uncomfortable silence. His hand resting on your cheek as you two continued looking at each other. And there were many many things Aizetsu could tell you about what he liked, or why he kept you. The foolishness of it all to care so much about such a pathetic life of a slayer.  And maybe in due time you could learn to see it all or maybe he could learn to tell you it all. 

But in that moment all his mind and heart could say was 

“You have such wonderful eyes” 

And maybe that was good enough for now.

#kimetsu no yaiba #kny #kny x reader #x reader #demon slayer #aizetsu #kny aizetsu #sekido #hantengu #aizetsu x reader #aizetsu x you #aizetsu demon slayer

[gi-zxt]

brainrot about…

dragon zhongli who adores shinies. oh how he loves them. he’s a dragon, of course he does!

you, back before everyone branded you as the mortal mimic of their god, also loved jewels and necklaces, shinies and the like. back before all hell broke lose and they wanted you as a sacrifice for their god.

when genshin decided to drag you into the world of teyvat, it sort of forgot that you were holding a ten carat diamond necklace you were planning on buying for your mother as a birthday gift. sure, it was expensive, but she likes shinies a lot as well.

yes, you did hang onto it—your backpack helped a lot with that—but you never expected it to come in handy.

zhongli didn’t necessarily want you dead—he was more curious about your existence than anything. really curious, actually. the dragon side of him was like a cat—curious, and willing to do right about anything to find out what the hell it was.

you, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with the geo archon or any damn dragons you might see along the way.

so when he used said dragon form to go find you, he relied much more upon his instincts. animals typically do.

shinies, he realized, he really, really liked in his dragon form.

that’s why he was standing in front of you, tail cautiously creeping towards the necklace you held in your hand, while you cowered against the cliff you accidentally cornered yourself against. stupid mistake, you realized, but far, far too late to change it.

he reaches a claw out, gently hooking it around the silver chain that holds the diamonds together. golden eyes slowly rove over it, slit pupils dialating at the sight of you, slightly trembling, holding it out to him in fear of what will happen otherwise.

mate, his mind says, hyperfocusing on that one thought of you with the shiny and it’s valuable and you’re just giving it to him—

his tail suddenly curls around you, wrapping you in its coils gently, warm against the humid, cool atmosphere liyue experiences in the winter and that you’ve been dealing with recently.

you freeze up, terrified out of your damn mind. is he going to strangle you? he’s a fucking dragon, and not just any dragon at that—he’s morax, an archon, for heaven’s sake. he could so, so easily end your life with a simple squeeze of his muscles.

no. he nudges his head under your chin, arm going around your shoulder with his claws resting gently on your hair. the vibrations from what seems like purring run through your petrified body; they seem to be comforting purrs, like one a cat would do when you’re scared, but they only make you more terrified.

a tear drips onto his scales, but you relax anyway.

what point is there in struggling? he’s just going to—to kill you, anyway. may as well be relaxed and make it an easy death.

“shh, little mate.”

little—mate…? the hell does he mean—

oh. dragons like shinies. you had a shiny. he thinks you gave it to him as a courting gift. so… you’re his mate? now?

“you’re safe with me, mate. you may be human, but… you are mine to protect now.”

his voice is slightly deeper when he’s reptilian, you notice as a kiss is pressed to your head. it’s also comforting.

“i’m not going to hurt you. oh, little one, how many have?”

you sniffle at his words, embarrassingly enough, tucking your face into your elbow to dry the approaching tears from your eyes. no, dammit, now isn’t the time to cry, you’ve already done too much of that. no point in it now.

besides, it’s just a facade.

right?

his tail relaxes slightly around you as his form slowly shifts to that of a half-human, half-dragon one, but it still remains warm and wrapped around your torso. the neck fluff turns to that of a coat, but holds the same consistency, nevertheless.

he hums the nighttime loading screen music, voice more melodic than you would expect it to be, with his arms coming around your figure as his tail moves to be around the two of you, intertwining you in a double-hug. he shifts you to be in his lap as when he sits against the wall, making sure you’re comfortable before he moves again, draping a cape which you assume represents his wings over your back, tucking it in. it’s soft.

“there. better?”

“‘m scared.”

“of what?” he asks gently. “you’re safe now. no more raiden shogun. no more drunk barbatos. no more scary millelith. no more nighttime monsters. I will keep you safe… mate.”

“you…”

“I promise you, there is no need to be scared. I promise you, with every fiber of my being and all of the contracts that I have signed, that you’ll be safe and secure and fed.”

making an oath on his contracts… that’s a pretty big deal for the god of geo himself. he must really mean it then.

even with your body still in fight or flight mode, you come to realize that he’s being a hundred percent truthful.

well, you think, burying your head into his neck fluff, at least that’s one less nation hunting you down now.

hehe

#genshin cult au #(that’s what I’ll be labeling this as from now on) #zxt-p #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imposter au #Genshin SAGAU cult au #cult au #hey foul-legacy-lover this one’s for you #you inspired me to write the FL Childe blurb I have

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Mc is a Cat, just a Normal Cat

Lucifer:

what in Hell´s name convinced Diavolo to put a Cat in an exchange program meant to strengthen the bond between the three realms?

he could even live with a Pink Sheep, but a Cat is insane! bad enough he didn´t allow Satan to keep one as a pet but now he is allowed to live with one? soon the House of Lamentation will be renamed to Cat sanctuary

and as much as Lucifer wished Diavolo would get his senses back and see that this is a completely normal Cat and not a Human in disguise, this will probably never happen

and he knows Diavolo he wouldn´t put it past him to do it just to mess with him and his Brothers

but as much as he hates to admit it the Cat is kinda adorable and very useful for catching his Brothers

maybe he can learn to tolerate it

Mammon:

he was actually pretty on edge near the Cat at first not because he was scared of it but Satan threatened to kill everybody who even harmed on hair on their fury little body and kept staring at him while saying it

so it´s understandable why he didn´t want to be caught anywhere near the damn furball but the Cat had some other ideas, because for some reason it just loves to sneak into his room to make itself comfortable

and he never knows when it´s there, the worst encounter with it was when there was a blackout in the Devildom and he shined a flashlight directly in their eyes, Mammon screamed, the Cat screamed and Satan barged in ready to finish whoever hurt the Cat

but they Cat does have good sides, manly either catching his victims of guard or finding some kind of expensive items and bringing it to him

he will never admit but he also started cuddling with the Cat in his sleep

Leviathan:

he was also scared of the Cat for some time but this was because it always managed to catch him of guard and jumpscared him

his Brothers didn´t believe him but he can swear it does this on purpose

and maybe the Cat did do it on purpose because it´s really funny watching him practically jump out of his skin, but who knows the Cat sure as hell can´t tell them the truth well unless your Solomon but this isn´t about him

but despite all of this he did manage to befriend the Cat and immediately tried to test if it was a Otaku

“okay what is this?” “Meow” “NO! This is not Azuki-Tan that´s obviously Ruri-Chan!”

yeah he has a one sided discussion with a Cat just like he does with all of hos other pets only difference this time because this one will leave when he annoys them

some of his Brothers even saw him beg for forgiveness from the Cat

Satan:

he loves the Cat and already said he will kill everybody in the Devildom is somebody hurts it or tries to take it away from him

and he did kill for the Cat, when a Lesser Demon tried taking it away he tore it into a million pieces and it was a very messy affair and Satan did get into trouble for it

things he also did with the Cat, he refuses to go to sleep when it isn´t in the room with him, he cleaned up his room enough so it can have a scratching post and a little Cat bed, but it has been placed on his bed recently because he´s worried one of his books will fall down and hit it which did nearly happen once

he also tried teaching the Cat to curse Lucifer but this far he had no luck with it

Asmodeus:

he immediately fell in love with it

he does everything with the Cat as long as it doesn´t involve cuddling the Cat, it´s a pain to remove all of the Cats from his clothes after all

but he loves nothing more than to dress up the Cat in very cute outfits and post them on Devilgram, but he quickly has to stop because they keep trying to scratch him to pieces because they hate them

but they did manage to settle on capes and cute collars

he even goes on walks with them, Asmo usually just let´s them walk besides him but he does have a Collar in hand in case there is somebody walking around with their pet

not because he´s worried about the Cat but because he´s scared of the other persons Cat, the last time a Devildom Hound tried attacking it and it got scratched into little pieces

deadly and beautiful the Perfect pet for somebody like him after this he even started cuddling with it more and not caring about his looks that much

Beelzebub:

the first time he meet the Cat he nearly ate it

but it wasn´t his fault! it managed to find it´s way into the pantry and he just thought it was a snack

he quickly learned it wasn´t when Satan threatened to kill him if he doesn´t drop the Cat right now

after this incident his Brothers decided keeping the Cat away would be they best course of action which he agreed with because he does feel a bit bad about it

what Beel didn´t expect was the Cat actually liked him and wasn´t scared away by his attempt at eating them, to be truthful he thinks they Cat was trying to eat him too he does see it biting his hand often or chewing on his skin

Belphegor:

he uses the poor thing as his pillow most of the time, which the Cat most of the time let´s him do what he wants but the few times the Cat doesn´t want to be his pillow his entire face got scratched up

and he nearly threw it at the wall in panic the only reason he didn´t was because it clawed itself into his hand and he could not get it to let go of him

but yeah besides those few moments where the Cat just does not like him they get along well

both of them like to sleep a lot, especially in sunny spots

if you look for one you usually will find them asleep somewhere together

he will also try and use this as a way to get out of his chores

he loves to go “oh no I would love to do this buut the Cat is sleeping so cutely there is no way I could wake them in good concuss”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #lucifer avatar of pride #obey me mammon #mammon avatar of greed #leviathan avatar of envy #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #satan avatar of wrath #obey me asmodeus #asmodeus avatar of lust #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub avatar of gluttony #belphegor avatar of sloth #obey me belphegor

[kyuusacutie]

Confessing a crush on them~

<Lovecraft, Kajii, Ango, Chuuya>

Lovecraft is… Confused. Unless you spell it out for him very clearly, he has no idea what you mean.

Lovecraft: “...crush?”

You: “...nevermind.”

He watches you walk away, and thinks about how odd humans are. Asks Steinbeck about it later.

Steinbeck: “....”

He explains it to Lovecraft, who is… even more confused. But the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he likes being around you a lot more than the other Guild members.

Walks up to you as soon as you return from a mission and just goes “I want to be your crush.” While staring directly into your soul.

Close enough….

Kajii is… elated. Not that he looks like it at first. He assumes you’re joking, and laughs out loud.

Kajii: “AHAHAHA, good one! You know how I feel about love~”

He shuts up fast when he sees your hurt expression.

Ah. you were being… serious.

Kajii: “Really.”

The flat tone he says this with, and the way he crosses his arms makes it seem like he’s judging you.

But he’s just trying to grapple with this reality. He’s so used to being rejected that he’s learned to ignore those feelings altogether.

You’re seconds away from apologizing to him and walking away, when his face breaks out in a grin and he laughs again.

Kajii: “Well, in that case… we should celebrate!”

And by ‘celebrate’, he means blow things up,

And make you a glass of surprisingly good lemonade afterwards while praising your bomb-throwing ability.

Ango is… stunned. He literally goes: “oh… why?” on instinct.

This causes you to blush and stutter out some compliments while hoping he gets it so you don’t have to embarrass yourself more.

He blushes and looks away from you, adjusting his glasses slightly.

Ango: “To be honest, I’ve always been quite fond of you as well.”

He wants to advise you not to be with him, that he can’t take care of you the way you deserve, that you could be put in danger because of him, but he doesn’t want you to think he’s rejecting you, so he offers to buy you lunch instead.

A perfect gentleman on your lunch date. He’s pleased you’ve taken an interest in him, so he does his best to memorize little details about you that come up in conversation.

Chuuya is… relieved. His crush on you was beginning to affect his performance at work, but he sure as hell wasn’t about to risk your rejection like that.

Smiles and replies with a simple “I like you, too.”

That’s about as simple as he’s going to be though, as he immediately gets a reservation at a very expensive restaurant, despite your insistence that he doesn’t have to.

Refuses to let you pay for anything on your date. Yes he wants to impress you, but he also wants to see you be happy and unbothered by money.

He makes sure you have a good time, no matter what.

10/10, best date you’ll probably ever have.

#bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader #bsd kajii #kajii motojirou #bsd kajii x reader #bsd ango #ango x reader #bsd lovecraft #bsd lovecraft x reader