#why was that the first thing i had to see when i walked into my favorite bookstore������������
Imagine Luke and Leia ending up in the clone wars era but all of their force abilities are “what the actual fuck?” levels of bullshit, and neither of them ever realized that the things they could do with the force were considered extremely high level techniques.
that is one of my FAVORITE things to imagine yes. To me this is less about ‘Skywalker bullshit’ (though there is some of that) and more about the training they (didn’t) receive.
The high-Midi-chlorians-actual-descendents-of-the-force thing makes it easier to tap into the force, makes it more possible to do so without accidentally exhausting yourself. But, in universe, under the right circumstances and with the properly channeled belief anyone can do anything. That’s why Palpatine had to make the galaxy want an empire, why his first strategy was misdirection and his top priority was crushing hope. Chirrut was supposedly force-null and he walked through an army. Han navigated that astroid field because he had to. The force is everywhere.
In an amusing but possibly unintended turn of events, 6-12 weeks of training in a swamp with an elderly frog who only talks in riddles without ever being exposed to Jedi culture except as a myth is actually IDEAL if you’re looking to maximize a Jedi’s raw strength. Most Jedi training that we see in the prequels is explicitly designed to put the breaks on a force-users raw power (for honestly very valid reasons). Channeling all violence through a single weapon that will start screaming if you get too violent, training to use it defensively, is definitely the soft-ball alternative to just squashing people like meatballs.
Meditating, wearing beige, the code, shunning attachments, all that stuff is built around making sure force users never run above first or second gear even in stressful situations (again valid, when you run your jedi in the red sometimes they become murder monsters). The downside of this is that when they’re forced to maintain that placid pace for years at a time (i.e: prolonged war), they’re much more likely to burn out.
When Yoda told Luke do or do not, told him a luminous being was he, told him size matters not, the amazing thing isn’t that Luke believed him. That was karking objectively provable. Yoda lifted a spaceship, so now Luke knows he can too if he just thinks he can. So he does. Vader and Palpatine conquered a galaxy. Luke believes he can stop worlds, crush armies, conquer planets and so he can.
The incredible thing about Luke is what he doesn’t do despite being tapped into the Force utterly free of mental restraint. Luke’s op character trait is his compassion, not his strength.
I assume at some point Luke puts Leia through a similar 2 month meditation class where he convinces her that her only limitations are the ones she imposes on herself. She has a complete meltdown when she realizes that she actually could have boiled Tarkin alive with her mind and saved Alderann. This causes a volcano to go off, devastating the ecology of a small moon. On the flight home, both of them slightly charred, she tells Luke that she wanted to focus on politics and didn’t really want to be a Jedi anyway. Luke nods quickly, supporting her decision, and resolves to seek out some Jedi texts about how to teach people they can do anything but also...maybe...not...anything.
And thus the Jedi order is reborn.
- - -
In the time travel version of this, it means that Luke is assuming that all of the Jedi are restraining themselves like he is. And they are, but they also aren’t, because their breaks are subconscious, built in since childhood, and have a lot of failsafes so even if they turn darkside they still restrain themselves pretty good (a la Dooku).
Leia is, again, less interested with the Jedi-specific aspects of the war (especially now that she doesn’t have to feel guilty about being one of the only people who can pick up that mantle) and more interested in the diplomatic side. Again, Palpatine can only succeed if the galaxy at large accepts this, and from where she’s standing they’re fucking moving in that direction. If being a Jedi is tapping into the mystical energy field that binds all living things together to channel it through one specific person in one specific place, then politics is manipulating that same power for a diffuse impact on as many people as possible.
This status-quo lasts until a major clone wars battle where Luke’s like ‘wait- the entire other side is sub-sentient droids? No living beings, and no droids with complex personality matrices? And they’re currently, actively killing living, sentient humans? Well kriff, come on! This is a no-brainer!’
Luke takes a deep breath. The air- it doesn’t disappear or anything- but it- it stops moving. It’s hard to explain...but breathing has an odd...resistance. The hair on the back of every clone’s neck stands up. Several get vaguely sea sick. One pukes a little. Plo Koon stumbles back, head ringing and afraid.
Luke Skywalker stands up and clenches his fists. 10,000 droids crumple like flimsi in the hands of a child. The battlefield is eerily quiet for a moment, then that imperceptible hum (which no one noticed until it stopped) fades and the air returns to its normal density. A few of the shinies start whooping, then the whole battalion is cheering.
Luke massages his temples, smiling wryly at Master Koon. “I guess I can see how that would get exhausting if you were doing it everyday.”
Plo Koon just stares.
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Looking at the Past
Summary: Loki gets captured by the TVA and gets to see his past were he finds out that he had a lover; you.
A/N: so I watched the first episode of Loki and it inspired me to get out of my writers block and write a story about Loki looking back at his past and sees someone that loved him. So trigger warning VERY EMOTIONAL AND LOKI EPISODE 1 SPOILERS
Loki had never felt so far away from the concept of control until now. He never felt so lost, so helpless and so purposeless until he stepped foot in the TVA. He hated the feeling, he hated feeling this way, he hated the Avengers but most of all, Loki hated himself.
At first, he thought it was a joke. That this place was all a front, that he was a God and a God was the most powerful being. However, after visiting Casey and finding the multitude of infinity stones used as paper weight, he realised that the TVA was no joke. The TVA was in fact the keepers of time and all the choices his made were choices that was already written.
Except him running away of course.
Loki looked at the projector that was playing before, paused on all the Avengers. A thought had slowly crept into his brain. The thought of looking at his whole life. He shuddered at the thought. He was scared. Mobius had told him his life purpose was to create pain and suffering for others so that they can achieve the best version of themselves. Had that been true? Was his whole life just pain and suffering? Had his life been a meaningless void filled to aid others to the betterment of themselves while he crumbled to nothingness?
Loki let out a sigh, thinking to himself how he might as well see how horrible his life was. He sat down on the metal chair, letting out a breath. His shaky hand went to the player, fast forwarding it to his mother’s death. The death that he had caused.
A single tear rolled down his cheek as he realised that his mother’s death was on him. He never thought Mobius was telling truth, that he was lying to manipulate Loki. But the infinity stones in Casey’s drawers had reminded him about the awful fact that he did indeed kill his mother. He was the reason why his mother had died. In an effort to gain control of his life, he lost the one thing that mattered to him the most; his mother.
He fast forwarded it but paused when he saw an familiar face, your familiar face. He was confused, you were the one who fought against him with the Avengers, why did you show up again? Did he come back to Earth?
“Loki, you are not responsible for your mother’s death,” you spoke, walking around to face him. He could see the skyline behind you, realising it was the Avenger’s Tower. Apparently he had returned to Earth after his mother’s demise.
“I led them to her!” He heard himself yell, chucking a glass. But you didn’t flinch. “I led them to her! I killed her!”
He watched as you walked closer to him, grabbing his hand. “You were in your lowest state, vulnerable to your weakest intuition. Your father had imprisoned you. Even though someone had been torturing you to do the things you had to do to New York.”
Loki flinched at that. Were you guys that close that he told you his deepest darkest secret? About how Thanos had tortured him and imprisoned him to get the other infinity stones?
“How did you know about that?” Loki yelled at you.
“Because I can tell when someone has been tortured and manipulated by monsters,” you replied back in a calm voice, your eyes tearing up. “I know Loki. I know how it feels to helpless, to feel lost and unwanted and-“
Loki stopped it, his breath trembling. He fast forwarded it, not wanting to hear anything else as more tears fell down his face. He paused again, seeing a provocative image fill the screen and his veins filled with curiosity.
“Loki,” he heard your voice moan. He watched on as he saw himself not fucking you, but making love to you. He watched himself, his eyes filled with love and adoration at yourself.
He watched as your bodies molded together so perfectly, how you were both moving in synchrony. He watched as none of you broke eye contact, as both of you moaned in pure bliss.
“I love you,” he heard himself tell you. Something he never realised he would ever tell anyone. And by the vulnerability in his eyes, he knew future him had a hard time even saying it. He looked at you as if he was scared he had frightened you, as if those words had pushed you away.
But it didn’t. It had made your bright and beautiful smile broaden even more.
“I love you too.”
He let out a breath, not stopping himself from crying this time. Had he finally found someone who loved him for himself? Had he really been that lucky? He paused it again, looking at you. How your eyes looked at his. How calming and serene you two looked together.
He fast forwarded.
“How could you do that!” He heard himself screaming at you. Your face was in tears, looking back at him. “How could you be so idiotic, I told you to go back!”
“Why are you so mad, I’m still alive aren’t I?” You yelled back, clutching your stomach.
“Barely! God you humans are so daft!” He yelled back at you, his hands brushing his hair back. “Humans are so fucking daft and fucking pathetic!”
“Oh I’m sorry God Almighty, forgot you were immortal!” You yelled back, letting out a groan as your stomach was fighting against your screaming. “I’ll take the thank you later.”
“Thank you? Thank you!” Loki yelled back at you. “That weapon would’ve barely scratched me! You didn’t need to risk your life to stop it! You didn’t need to almost die just so you get to play hero and-“
“Don’t you understand that I can’t lose you!” He heard you scream louder than ever before, making him go silent. You let out a sob, shaking your head. “You’re the only- only good thing that has ever happened to me. And and- fuck, it scares me how much I love you. I love you Loki Laufeyson. I love you so much that I’d go through hell and back just to make you smile even if it meant I wasn’t alive to see it!”
Loki paused the video, letting out a sob before shaking his head. He couldn’t even fathom it. He thought he was an unlovable monster. Yet it seemed that you were blind to all of it.
He fast forward.
“I bought you a house,” Loki heard himself again.
You two were lying on bed, looking like you were in a private room on a spaceship. Both of you cuddling under the the sheets, Loki’s fingers drawing shapes on your skin.
You laughed at him, not taking him serious. But his face didn’t change, stopping your laugh. “Wait, you’re serious?”
“Mhmm,” Loki replied back kissing your knuckles. You giggled at him, and Loki’s smile widened at your laugh. Even the Loki who watched on felt himself smiling at the sound of your voice giggling.
“And how did you get the money?”
“A god doesn’t pay.” Loki replied, laughing as you slapped him in the arm.
“Where’s the house? On Asgard?” You replied back jokingly. “How convenient for you, it’s in ashes now.”
“Earth.” Loki pushed your hair back. You looked at him in disbelief.
“Earth?” You questioned him, your face in bewilderment. “I thought you hated Earth, which is why we decided to visit Asgard instead.”
“But you love it,” Loki replied back, kissing your forehead. “And if you love it, then that’s enough for me.”
Loki fast forwarded it, unable to handle it watching it anymore. He needed to see how this played out. So he went to the end.
The hairs in his forearm rose as he stood up from his seat at the site of Thanos. He felt a cold shiver run down his spine, your bloodied face in the back.
“Please,” he heard you wheeze out, tears uncontrollably running down your face. You tried crawling over to Thanos, trying to find mercy within the Titan. “Please.”
“I am feeling generous today,” The Titan said with a smile before picking up Loki by the neck.
“No!” He heard you scream. It was as if all the energy in your body came out all at once as you got up to run, only to be locked down by pieces of metal from one of the children of Thanos. “No! Let him go please!”
“So I’ll only kill you, and I’ll spare your brother and the girl,” Thanos said, before snapping his neck.
Loki let out a deep breath, his whole body shaking. He heard you scream in agony, a shriek that can only be described as a mother losing a child to war. He watched as you flung your body on him, trying to protect him from the explosion of the ship. He watched as Thor begged you to leave, but you yelling that you weren’t going to leave him alone, that he was not dying alone. And then he watched on as the words ‘End of File’ were etched on the screen.
Loki shook his head, before he started laughing. Laughing at himself. Laughing at his life. Laughing at how just as life was getting better for himself, just as he started making amends, he died.
“What's so funny?” He heard a voice say behind him. Loki smirked, turning around. The women looked at him weirdly, his face all tear stricken.
“Loki?” Mobius called out to Loki who was sitting down, his hands on his face with the tesseract next to him. “Nowhere left to run.”
“I can't go back, can I? Back to my timeline?” Loki asked, feeling helpless. Feeling sad. Sad because he will never have a story with you, a life with you. “I don't enjoy hurting people. I- I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to.”
Mobius slowly walked over to Loki, feeling a bit more motivated now that Loki was opening up to him more. “Okay, explain that to me.”
“Because it's part of the illusion,” Loki explained, letting out a sigh. “It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.”
“A desperate play for control,” Mobius finished for him, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips. “You do know yourself.”
“A villain,” Loki scoffed. Mobius shook his head.
“That's not how I see it.” He then looked at the tesseract that was near Loki. “You try to use that?”
“Oh, several times,” Loki laughed, looking at the tesseract with now lost interest. Men and women have died for this. Have started wars for this. Yet compared to the sacred timeline, these stones were toys. “Even an Infinity Stone is useless here. The TVA is formidable.”
“That's been my experience.” Mobius peeked an eye on Loki, feeling sympathetic. He let out a sigh. “Listen, I can't offer you salvation, but maybe I can offer you something better. A fugitive Variant's been killing our Minutemen.”
“And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him?” Loki had asked him.
“Why me?” Loki asked confusedly, arching an eyebrow.
“Because the Variant we're hunting,” he paused, looking Loki in the eye.
You let out a breath, watching the minute men as they walked out of the portal. You hid back in the darkness, looking as the scene played out in front of you.
“I think some jackass found himself a time machine, came back here to get rich,” one of them spoke. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head at their laziness. The TVA might be powerful, but god their workers were indolent.
“Should we fan out and look for him, sir?” A smarter minute man asked.
“Nah. It's not worth the paperwork.” The minute man turned around, looking at the other worker. “Just prune it. Let's bail. Set a charge.”
The minuteman was about to set the charge but before he did, he made eye contact with you. You raised a hand up, purple light seeping through your fingers. “Wait. Someone's out there.”
“Who are you!” The minute men spoke, pointing their weapon at you. You know walked towards them, a little coy smile on your lips.
“I’ll make this easy for you guys.” You pointed at the device. “I want that. Give it to me, and I’ll spare you.”
“No you can’t just walk in here and-“
“Fine,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. Your finger lit up an even brighter purple spark, before pointing it towards the oil and lighting it up in flames.
You watched as the minute men burned into flames, slight twinge of guilt seeping through your veins. The Avengers would be so disappointed in you. But that thought disappeared as soon as it came to your head. You wanted Loki back, no matter what the cost.
You would walk to hell and back just to see him smile.
So you walked over to the device, picking it up before transforming back into your true form. The form you took after the final battle against Thanos. The form you took after you snapped your fingers, after taking the gauntlet. You didn’t care if you died when you wore the infinity gauntlet, you already lost Loki. But you didn’t died. Instead…
You became the Infinity Witch.
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Don't Give Up On Me
𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: You stole his plum one spring day. Then his heart. You can keep both as long as you promise to love him and not give up on him.
Gif courtesy of @geezumarts
𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: TFAWS Bucky Barnes X Reader
𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 2.5K
𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Smidge of Angst, Heaping of fluff
𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘢’𝘥 by the talented @sweeterthanthis and @whisperlullaby but 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯
Written for @book-dragon-13
Do not copy, rewrite, translate or post my work anywhere. No permission given to copy, translate, rewrite or post any parts of my stories.𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 (𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵)
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You stole the last plum.
You met the man of your dreams because you stole the last plum.
A brisk spring breeze had picked up around the small, noisy marketplace, flyers fluttering as the wind moved around you, people chatting and laughing as they held down loose items.
Bringing your hood over your head, you tucked your phone between your ear and shoulder. Distracted by your best friend asking when you were coming home, you had inadvertently snatched the slightly bruised purple fruit from his gloved hand.
Bucky coughed, clearing his throat to ask for it back, his words fizzling in his throat when you turned to him. His mouth parted in shock and wonder when his mesmerizing blue eyes connected with yours.
The world stopped, faded into the background. For a second, all you could hear was his quiet breathing. All you could see were his eyes, guarded under the rim of his black cap. Hauntingly beautiful, full of secrets that only you would uncover.
Then your phone slipped to the pavement with a clatter, and the world spun again, the spell broken. You held out your arm, his eyes dropping to the little fruit wobbling on your open palm.
“Keep it.” He spoke, his tone gravelly, a slight hesitation as if he hadn’t spoken in a while, “I can come back tomorrow.” His voice deepened with each word. You knew then his voice would become one of your favorite sounds.
“No, no, you had it first. I’m sorry, I can come back tomorrow,“ you insist.
After a few more minutes of both of you each trying to get the other to take the overripe fruit, the vendor leaned over her cart with a knowing grin. “Son, why don’t you share it with the pretty girl and you both come back tomorrow, I’ll hide my best ones for you.”
When you started to shake your head, she stopped you with a look that said ‘shut up I’m trying to help you,’ her eyes cutting from your face to him. “And I won’t sell to either of you unless you show up together.”
To this day, you won’t know what possessed you to say that he could join you on the bench next to the cathedral two blocks down, but when he smiled at you, slowly at first as if that was another thing he hadn’t done in a while, you were happy you did.
He scooped up your phone, checking it for damage, following you down the uneven cobblestone path.
“Bucky.” You look over at him with a tilt of your head. And he smiles again, more a grin this time, a little wider with a flash of white teeth. It looks good on him. “Sorry, my name is Bucky.”
You had your first date on an old rickety bench under a cloudy Romanian sky. He cut the plum in half, the small knife appearing out of thin air, any other person you would have been on edge, but there was something about the way he gently and carefully sliced it before handing you the much bigger half, with juices dripping over his black leather glove.
Hours must have passed on that bench. You shared your life stories, explaining how you ended up in this city. He tiptoed around questions about how he got here and his family, but his eyes brightened when he talked about his time here, how he tried a little of everything from the market to figure out what was his favorite. He loved the small thrift shop next to his home, and he rescued a stray cat two weeks ago. Time passed too quickly that day and soon you were reluctantly saying goodbye, his eyes wistfully watching you walk away.
You weren’t expecting to see him the next day, or at least that’s what you told yourself in front of the mirror staring at your ninth change of clothes in thirty minutes. If you had known you were going to run into someone like him, you definitely would have bought something other than plain t-shirts and jeans.
Little did you know that you could have shown up in actual rags and he would have still thought you looked beautiful. Or that he has rummaged through every outfit he owned, even stopping by the thrift shop to buy cologne.
A few more dates spent on the bench, walking along the cobblestone paths, going nowhere with Bucky as your guide.
Little by little you discovered each other, you knew there was something holding him back but for now; you were content with what he shared. Until one day, the sky darkened suddenly, ominous gray clouds rolling over the crystal blue sky, rain pouring down as thunder boomed overhead.
He shrugged off his jacket, using it to cover your head, “come with me,” he yelled over the drum of rain smacking the ground.
He led you down the street, turning a few corners until you reached an old building, it's exterior worn by time and weather. He held open the front door, his arm around your shoulder as he ushered you inside.
Glancing around the dimly lit entryway, you see a pair of mailboxes built into the wall behind you, the tall staircase to your right. The muted sound of rain pattering on the front door is the only sound in the quiet building.
“My place is on the fourth floor,” he offers, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Or we can, uh, stay down here if you want,” he rushes out, his words trailing off, his blue eyes staring at the faded brown carpet beneath his boots. Bucky falls silent, chewing his bottom lip nervously.
“Hey,” you say softly, letting his jacket hang around your shoulders, hints of cedar and vanilla clinging to the heavy leather, “I don’t mind if you don’t mind.”
You tug his hand out of his pocket and intertwine your fingers with a gentle smile. Bucky glances up at you, a matching smile, dazzling and honeyed all at once. His hand settled on your back, taking you up the stairs, his eyes flitting back to your face every few steps as if he couldn’t believe you were here with him.
He let you into the small apartment, hovering behind you while you look around. You hear him take a deep breath in and you spin around holding up your hand.
“Don’t apologize for your place, okay?” you assert, more than ask as you take a step towards him, “I don’t care, I’m happy to be here with you.”
“I-I thank you,” he sighs in relief. Bucky had hoped to earn enough from the odd jobs he had to save up for something a little better, wanting to have a nicer home to bring you to one day. Your acceptance of him, all of him, has been chipping away at the armor around his heart until there is nothing left but you.
You dry off in the small bathroom, putting on the too-large maroon Henley and shorts he set on the edge of the sink. Putting your clothes over the shower rod to dry, you step back out, watching him make tea.
“I hope you like it, I got it from Daria,” he says over his shoulder.
You sit on the small taupe couch, pulling your knees up to your chest. He shuffles from the old white fridge back to the stove, wiping his hands off on the floral kitchen towel. His gloves discarded on the counter beside him. You wonder if he even realizes he removed them.
Bucky sits beside you balancing two small mugs in his hands, you touch his metal wrist with your fingers. He stiffens beside you, swallowing thickly. You remove your cup from his hand and take a small sip. “You know it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” you say aloud.
His frightened, anxious gaze fixated on the wall ahead.
You turn to him, your knees pushing into the side of his thigh, “and sometimes when it’s hot outside you brush your hair off your neck, like this,” you sweep your hand across his skin, “and your sleeve moves down.”
His head jerks around, his cup shaking in his hand, you press your palm against his bearded cheek, “I’ve known since our second date,” you say in response to the question in his eyes, “I’m guessing you served in the army or had an accident, whatever happened to your arm is nothing to be ashamed of Bucky.”
Waiting for him to speak, you finish your tea. After a few minutes, he whispers, “There was an accident.”
You stay silent, placing your hand on his, squeezing his fingers. He glances down, bringing your hand up to place a kiss on the back of it. Standing up, he walks to the fridge and pulls a notebook off the top. He settles beside you, quietly putting it on your lap.
As you flip through the pages, he tells you about his life, starting from when he was Bucky to his time as the Soldat, to being whatever patched up version of himself he was today.
There’s a comfortable silence, the rain tapping at the windows, the room awash in a dull glow from a single lamp. Resting your head on his shoulder, you listen as he speaks earnestly; the words pouring out of him. His heart pounding in his chest until he was sure it would burst.
When he stops, out of breath from long-forgotten emotions and painful memories, “I love you, I shouldn’t, it’s too dangerous to be around me and maybe I’m being selfish because I don’t want you to leave,” he confesses, revealing his final secret.
You sit up, moving away for a second. His heart stutters but before it can break, you’re straddling his thighs, holding his face in your hands; wiping away tears he didn’t know had fallen with your thumbs.
You don’t know what to say in a moment like this. Not with him looking sorrowful, contrite, and frightened. It’s the fear in his eyes that hurts you the most. That after everything he’s survived, he’s frightened that you’ll fear him, leave him here in his little home, alone.
There are no words, none you can find right now, to say how you feel, to describe how much you’ve fallen in love with him.
So you kiss him.
A soft sweep of your lips against his chapped ones, moving back and forth until his lips part. He leans into you, his hand cupping the back of your head, deepening the kiss, his tongue tracing the inside of your mouth before retreating, leaving behind the distinct taste of cinnamon and him.
And you kiss him again.
Peppering brief chaste kisses over his closed eyelids, down his jaw, over the corners of his mouth. When he relaxes, bringing you closer, you whisper, repeating your words from earlier, “I don’t care, I’m happy to be here with you.”
You spend the night like that; him holding you in his arms, assuring him you won’t leave him, that you love him. When the skies clear, he feels whole again.
The weeks that follow are filled with happiness and love, he believes he can build a life with you, have a future with you by his side.
But fate has other plans for him.
There’s always a fight, and somehow he’s dragged into it. After the bombing, he sent you away, vowing to find you once it’s safe again.
“Hey, doll, this isn’t goodbye,” he promises, resting his forehead on yours. “I will come back for you. Please wait for me, I will come back”
“You’d better, Bucky.”
Time passes, painfully slow without him. He breaks his promise.
He didn’t come back for you.
And when he knew he couldn’t do it on his own, he did the next best thing. Trusting only one other person to find you for him.
Steve showed up at your door one night, explaining he was a friend of Bucky's. That’s all you needed to hear, he had barely finished speaking before you had your coat on, saying you were ready to go. You were the first person he saw when they brought him out of cryogenesis.
It wasn’t easy, the first few months out of the chamber were difficult for him, part of him convinced he would always have a monster inside of him. You remained optimistic, trusting in Shuri who worked tirelessly to find a cure, your faith in her unwavering despite test after test ending with him reverting to the Winter Soldier.
He hated for you to see that side, but you loved him unconditionally. Throughout it all, it was you who kept him going, giving him the strength to withstand another experiment, another day with that living inside his head.
And then one night, while preparing for bed, Ayo knocked on your door. “It is time,” she said, her striking eyes relaying her excitement.
You could feel the tension rolling off Bucky. He turned to you and you raised your hand, covering his mouth. “I’m coming with you and not even she could stop me.”
Ayo gives you an amused look, sizing you up. You returned it, your gaze is unwavering and fierce. “She’s right, this is the only battle I could see myself losing,” Ayo winks at you, “let’s go.”
During the ride up the mountainside, Bucky pleads with you to turn around and leave him. You ignore him, holding his hand while you look at the blur of greens and browns passing you. Resting your head on his shoulder, you smile up at the night sky.
Bucky refuses to let you sit beside him, begging you to at least sit across from him, making Ayo swear to protect you if something goes wrong. He won’t sit until you both agree to his demands.
Nervous energy pulsates in the night air. You can feel your heart beating, you know this is going to work; you know it. Placing your elbows on your knees, you observe Bucky staring into the crackling fire, his jaw clenched.
You want to hold him, but he’s so scared of what might happen.
You listen to the exchange between him and Ayo. You make eye contact with her and nod. She recites the first three words, stepping closer to Bucky.
His eyes shut and he sees you, only you. Smiling at him as you bite into that plum, holding his hand at night, your head on his chest, listening to him plan your future together. Dancing in his apartment, bumping into his couch over and over until you're both laughing.
You promise you'll wait for him, giving him one more kiss before stepping on to the train.
Tears fall from his tormented eyes, his lips move but you can’t hear over the sound of your voice chanting ‘it’s going to work’ in your head.
You gaze at him, knowing your Bucky is going to be there. He has to be, you won’t accept anything less.
Bucky looks up in disbelief. He’s still your Bucky. He’s in control.
“You’re free,” Ayo states, her kind voice washing over him.
Bucky looks to you, openly weeping, his cheeks flushed. Too many emotions overwhelming him. He’s free and you’re safe.
He can keep you in his life, he has a chance, a real chance, to be the man you deserve. His mouth opens, but no words come out. He can’t speak, not trusting his voice.
His eyes tell you everything.
You run to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. His head drops to your shoulder, you whisper, “I’m so proud of you, I love you so much.”
His grip tightens, bringing you closer to him, you’re all he needs right now. He breathes you in, listening to you say you love him over and over until his heart is bursting in his chest. “I love you too,” he chokes out, his voice wobbling as more tears form, ones of relief and joy.
He’s free, truly free.
Under the clear night sky, with you in his arms, he knows peace for the first time. You didn’t give up on him; you stayed by his side when others left him. It was you that kept him from breaking, holding the pieces of him together with your love and strength.
“I dreamed of you every night,” he confides, kissing the top of your head. “Flashes, hazy pictures really, mostly of you.”
A pause as he clears his throat again. “Sometimes you and me in a house, a simple life together.”
Another pause, longer this time, you look up with an encouraging smile. “Once in a while, I would dream of you holding our baby,” his hopeful confession warms your heart
Now he can believe that his dreams are going to come true someday. You rest your hand on your belly, knowing that it’s going to happen soon than he thinks.
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baby fever , bucky barnes
— (fem!reader x tfatws!bucky)
request; Smutty fic where the reader wants Bucky to put a baby in her after she sees how he is with Sam’s Nephews
warnings; smut, fluff, bucky being a sap, marriage stuff, handjob, car sex, babymaking, breeding kink, bit of a praise kink.
word count; 1,131
a/n; domestic bucky makes my brain short circuit. i hope you enjoy! <3 - stellie
It started when you arrived at the Wilson’s.
You weren’t aware that your fiancé was extremely good with kids of all ages, playing games with them outside or indulging them in silly stories. Damn him for having a hidden talent.
Something about Bucky entertaining Sam’s nephews stirred something in you. Sure, you and Bucky had agreed on the whole future family thing and working stuff out after you got hitched, but you didn’t need it to be organized. Fancy doctors and fertility calendars are overrated, you should just start now.
You’re both full-grown adults, there’s no reason for you to be holding off on a pregnancy.
Now this weekend getaway to Sam’s is making you question everything you and Bucky had planned out. You’ve waited so long to just marry him, why would you wait even longer to raise a beautiful baby with him? Everything was finally at peace, no more crazy missions or alien invaders, and now you could just be.
“He’s good with the kids,” Sam sat next to you at the pinic table, beer in hand. “Tell me, when’s Bucky Junior comin’?”
“We’re not even married yet,” you gave your friend a playful jab on the shoulder. “No mini-Bucky’s right now.”
“Y’all should babysit then,” Sam laughs. “Sarah could use it.”
“Just give us a call.”
Bucky ran over with a spring in his step, the two kids attached to his sides scurrying away. He takes his sunglasses off and sets them on the table.
“How’s my future wife?” His hands lightly grip your shoulders.
He’s so... dreamy. All big muscles and cerulean eyes. “I’m good,” you reply.
Sam glances over at you both. “Do you lovebirds need a minute?”
You both just nodded.
Fair enough. The closer you and Bucky get to your wedding date, the touchier you get. Sam thinks he’ll get a cavity from how sweet you two are.
“Bucky,” you whisper as Sam walks away. “Can I ask you something?”
Your shyness was catching up to you. “Can... we have a baby?”
“Sure,” he shrugs. “I thought we agreed on that.”
“No,” you pout a bit. “Right now.”
“Babe, aren’t we gonna get married first?”
You just shook your head.
“Seriously?” Bucky sighs.
“Dead serious,” you say. “I’m off the pill, you could put a baby in me right now, James.”
Bucky looked around for a second, barely anyone was within his range of sight.
“Why do you want this?” He asks sincerely.
“Because I’m in love with you, and I see how much you enjoy being with those kids. I know you wanna be a dad, why wait?” You smile.
A smirk spreads across his face. “I’ll have two people callin’ me daddy if we have a little one runnin’ around.”
“Bucky!” You gasp. “You’re a menace—“
He grabs your hand and leads you to where the car he rented is parked. It’s nestled neatly in the woods at the front of the Wilson’s property, unable to be seen. He unlocks it, the beeping noise startling you a bit, and you both get in the back.
“I’m gonna get you so fuckin’ full, doll,” he pulls your body impossibly close to his. “I promise we’ll have a baby.”
You kiss him, completely passionate and messy. His hands roam under your top and his tongue dives deep inside of your mouth.
“Please,” you fumble with the zipper of his jeans.
“Go ahead,” he encourages. “Only if you’re sure.”
The only thing you’ve ever been more sure of in your entire life is that you’re hopelessly in love with James Barnes.
You take his half-hard length out of his boxers, stroking it up and down. His glassy eyes are focused on you, and it makes you feel special. He’s always had a way of making you feel priceless.
“How unceremonious,” he runs his palms over the warm skin of your thighs. “We’re in the back of a goddamn rental car.”
“It doesn’t matter where we do it.”
You’ve gone completely mad and you know it, the way you’re rushing the process of getting Bucky inside of you speaks for itself.
“Slow down,” he says softly. “Got a bit of baby fever, huh?”
“Maybe,” a blush creeps up your face.
He lifts each of your legs up with ease, helping you slip out of your shorts and underwear. Bucky leaves tender kisses on your neck and does everything so languidly, he hasn’t been like this in awhile. He’s typically rough with you, and it’s not like you don’t enjoy it, but this new approach is making you dizzy.
“I love you,” he mumbles into your lips when he finally makes his way back up. You’re melting into each other like candy under the hot summer sun, and it feels so good.
Your fingers card through his short hair, a silent I love you too. Bucky firmly grabs your ass with his flesh hand, blunt nails slightly digging in, and pulls your soaking core closer to him.
“Tell me what you want, pretty girl,” he rasps.
“Give me a baby, Barnes.”
The air in the car seems way too thick as he slowly guides his cock to your entrance. God, this is actually happening. You sink down onto him, nice and slow, your hands exploring the taut muscles underneath his t-shirt.
“Always so fuckin’ tight,” he grunts. “So good for me.”
Bucky ruts up into you, watching your fucked-out expression as he does so. You’re such a mess and it’s so dirty, biting your lip as your walls clench his cock.
“James,” moans fall from your mouth while the pleasure hums through you. “Fuck, feels so good—“
“It’s gonna feel better when I fill you up,” he grips your hips a little harder. “I’ll fuck you ‘till you’re dripping.”
“Please, I want it so bad,” you whimper.
Bucky is pistoning into you at a vigorous pace, and you can feel how close you are. Every muscle in your lower body is spasming, and the intensity of the situation just makes everything better. He’s hitting spots inside you that you didn’t even know existed.
“I’m gonna cum,” your eyes screw shut. “C’mon, Bucky.”
Your release drives him to the edge and he lets out an animalistic noise as the floaty feeling encompasses both of you.
The warmth of him emptying inside of you makes your walls flutter around him again. You relax into his sweaty body and give him a weak smile.
“Do you think we made a baby?”
“I don’t know, it might take a few tries,” he strokes your hair gently.
“I really hope we did,” you savor the way the faint sunlight cascades over his beautiful features. “But that was a good run.”
Bucky quirks an eyebrow at you. “When’s our next run?”
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Hey there! I absolutely adore your headcanons! Could I request how Kuroo, Oikawa and Daichi would react during a major fight, after they say something like: "I could always find someone better" in the heat of the moment? They realise their mistake and fluff ensues? Thank you! :D
"I could always find someone better"
feat. Kuroo, Oikawa, Daichi
♡ warning: hurt/comfort
♡ a/n: i- reading this prompt made my heart hurt but i love it. ps, I tried to make Daichi’s more lighthearted.... (sorry if thats disappointing 🥺)
You really didn’t want to be arguing with Kuroo, especially since you knew his team was also there, awkwardly doing their stretches.
Kuroo had been practicing a bit too much with his team in preparation for Nationals, and as a result had been neglecting your relationship. He spent less and less time with you, which hurt but you could easily manage that. But then he also started texting and calling you less. You two could walk past each other in the halls and it would be as if you were strangers.
This led up to bottling your emotions until they finally started overflowing today.
“Tetsu, I don’t know why you don’t understand that I just feel like you’ve been disregarding me for volleyball? Relationships are a joined effort you know!”
“And I don’t get why you can’t be supportive. You know how important Nationals is, I’ve told you already!” he snaps at you.
“Yeah, like two weeks ago, coincidentally the last time you even spoke to me!” you retorted, not willing to crumble just yet.
“I swear Y/n.... I could always find someone better and more supportive than you.” he sighed and turned his back towards you to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. When he looked up, he saw his team, jaws agape and eyes widened. He made eye contact with Kenma, who silently pointed behind the captain.
When Kuroo turned around again he saw your eyes tearing up and your bottom lip quivering. You pointed your head down so he wouldn’t see the tears spilling out, but you couldn’t do anything to mask your sobs.
Panic sets in for him and the first thing he does is pick you up bridal style and take you outside the gym, because he knows you’d be extremely embarrassed for having cried in front of his team. You don’t resist when he lifts you up, only focused on how upset you were.
When the two of you reach the outside, he sits down on the steps outside the gym doors, careful to adjust you onto his lap. Kuroo pulls you in for a tight hug and stays silent for a minute.
“I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it, please just know I didn’t mean it”
He hears your sobs die down a bit and he hugs you even tighter.
“You were right, I was an asshole who completely took disregarded you for volleyball. It was wrong of me to expect you to be compliant. I’m so sorry Y/n” he says, kissing your shoulder and resting his head on it.
When he feels you wrap your arms around him, he looks up and sees your sad eyes. You give him a quick kiss on the lips.
“It’s okay Tetsu” you whisper and he shakes his head. Even after you insisted that you were okay because he at least understood, that wasn’t enough for Kuroo.
He was dead set on making sure you never felt that way again.
You and Oikawa had been arguing in the clubroom for ten minutes now. Oikawa had thought you were being exceptionally clingy as of lately and brought up how you were constantly worried about his fangirls.
“How could I not be worried? They literally pull you aside and confess to you, in front of me!” you cried out, feeling like your boyfriend was siding with his fans more than his own s/o.
“And so what if they do? It’s not like I would leave you for any of them. How could you not trust me when I say that?” he yelled back, and before you could defend yourself he speaks again.
“You know I’m disappointed in you.. I could always find someone better than this Y/n” Oikawa spat, but the moment he did he realized how contradictory it was to say something like that. Especially considering the topic of the argument. He was about to take it back.
But of course, how would you know that.
Your biggest insecurity was just thrown back at you, and in return you slammed a pile of envelopes on the floor.
“Take your fucking pick then!” you cried out before storming out of the clubroom.
As you were leaving, Oikawa looked on the ground to see a countless number of confession letters with his name on it. Unbeknownst to him, his fangirls had been handing you their letters, asking for you to deliver it to him. It was a complete blow to your feelings and showed completely disregard for your relationship.
Oikawa cursed under his breath and ran out after you. It didn’t take him long to find you, you were sitting under a tree not far from the clubroom. You were hugging your knees to your chest, with your face buried to obscure your sobs. You felt someone pull you in for a hug and when you looked up, you gave a pained glare to your boyfriend.
“I was wrong and without even realizing what I was saying I said something extremely stupid and hurtful” he says, pressing slow kissed to your face.
“W-why did you say it then” you sob even harder.
He sighed and pulled you to his chest, “It’s not a good reason, but I didn’t know that they were acting like this towards you. I thought you were overreacting when really it was me who was underreacting. And I can’t express how sorry I am”
Oikawa fears the worst when you stay silent for a bit. You had every right to be upset and broken over what he said. But when you wrapped your arms around him, he felt a wave of relief.
He pressed a kiss to your forehead and let you calm down and cry it out, not caring that he had a horde of fangirls wondering why he wasn’t at practice yet.
Why would he?
Arguments between you and Daichi were a rare sight. Moreso because he tended to speak and think rationally about things, so any little complication that arose would quickly be resolved.
But this time it was different. You honestly couldn’t even remember what the two of you were even arguing about in the first place. After your last dispute, you made it a point to avoid him for a few days.
Still you couldn’t evade him forever, and the problem wasn’t just going to just vanish so easily.
You were heading towards the clubroom, and unfortunately Daichi was just exiting, you saw his smile drop upon seeing you, and you couldn’t help but frown.
He turned towards the door, “Hmm? No it’s just Y/n” and then you hear various familiar voices from inside the room greet you.
“Hey guys!!” you shot, not knowing who you were speaking too, and when Daichi closed the club door, you direct your gaze to him.
“I saw your smile drop you know” you say, already feeling upset.
“Well, I’m sorry, have you forgotten that we aren’t in such a great spot right now?” he replied.
“I’m still your s/o, idiot.”
“Says the one who’s been actively avoiding me. You’re being awfully immature Y/n and you know this too. I could always find someone better.” he said, and the moment he did you saw the instant regret in his eyes.
Honestly, you knew he didn’t mean that, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. You previously had worries about whether or not you were good enough for your boyfriend, and Daichi had always been there to reassure you. So saying he could find someone better was enough to make your heart hurt.
Tears started to form in your eyes and Daichi quickly retracted his words.
“Wait, no I swear I didn’t mean it. I would never mean it please” he panics as he rushes over to you to hug you and pepper your teary face with kisses. You silently nod before hearing a muffled voice coming from the clubroom.
“Y/N-SAN, HE DOESN’T MEAN IT!! HE WAS JUST TELLING US HOW MUCH HE MISSES YOU AND HOW HE DOESN’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THE TWO OF YOU WERE ARGUING ABOUT!!” Hinata shouts, only to yelp and be scolded by Kageyama.
You look up at your boyfriend, still choked up, “You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean you know...I know you really don’t believe that but-”
Before you can continue, Daichi shuts you up with a kiss.
“I know, and I’m sorry” he says, resting his forehead on yours.
You fully calm down and give him a small smile, “Sawamura Daichi, I think you’re awfully lucky because I also forgot what we argued about”
Daichi stifles a chuckle before placing another kiss on your lips. But before the kiss could get any deeper, you hear the clubroom door open and Asahi’s head pop out.
“OH- I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO INTERRUPT. But uhh, we have practice starting really soon so I think we should probably head there now.....”
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So, something I see (and say) a lot is that fat/plus size folks should be able to go to the doctor to get medical treatment and not have everything be made about their weight. And I hear a lot of pushback to that- “Shouldn’t doctors bring that up? A doctor is SUPPOSED to care about your health!”
So I figured I would give y’all an example of what I mean when I say “I want to be able to get medical treatment and have it not be made about my weight.”
I’ve been to the doctor for breast pain twice in my life. Once when I was in my first year of college, and once during my last year of grad school. The two experiences were vastly different.
First time around, I go in because I’m having pain in my left breast. I don’t feel anything, but something hurts. I sit down in the doctor’s office, in she comes. I tell her what’s going on. And right away she hits me with “Well, maybe losing some weight would help.” Didn’t examine my breast. Didn’t ask me much else. Just spent the next ten minutes telling me that it probably had something to do with me being fat and then sent me on my way. I learned basically nothing, just that I “probably” didn’t have fucking breast cancer.
Second time. I’m in grad school, and this time I actually feel a lump, so of course I panic. I go to the doctor. She has me take off my shirt and all that, and then asks me some questions. When did it start? Is the pain worse or better than when I called about it? Can I still feel the lump? Has this happened before? I answer, she gives my boob a few good pokes and all that. Checks the other for good measure. And then gives me answers.
She tells me I have fiberous breasts, which is normal. Tells me it was probably a cyst, since that happens sometimes and, given my symptoms and the exam, it seems to be gone now. I tell her I get those in other places a lot and she nods and says “Yeah, probably a cyst.” She tells me to keep an eye out and call her if I feel any more lumps- even if it is just another cyst, she wants to make sure. She says I could go for a mammogram but because I’m only 24 and the symptoms are subsiding it isn’t needed, in her opinion, but she would be happy to set one up for me to put my mind at ease. Then she shakes my hand and leaves. We spent about 30 minutes together.
This is what I mean when I say “I want medical treatment without it being made about my weight.” The first doctor assumed, right away, that the problem was because I am fat. And because she assumed that, she didn’t check me, didn’t ask me questions she should have. There are horror stories out there about people who had treatable illnesses that later killed them because they weren’t caught in time.
“Shouldn’t doctors care about your health?” well, only one of these doctors actually seemed to. The one who did her job, who checked me out, who gave me answers and not only made sure I didn’t have something serious going on, but who put my mind at ease about my health. Who gave me signs to look out for and things to DO if this ever happens again. The other... The other lectured me about my body size and then shooed me out of her office without saying the words “lump” or “exam”. That, to me at least, doesn’t sound like caring about my health. The words “health” and “body size” are not synonomous and, in this case, my size didn’t have anything to do with it. There was no reason to bring it up because it wasn’t part of my medical concern.
I want to be able to walk into a doctor’s office and say “I have a problem” and have the doctor go “Okay, let me take a look at your problem”. I’m lucky and privileged that I have managed to find doctors who do that- who address my issues and history and ME as a whole person. But I’ve also had a lot of experiences with doctors who respond to “I have a problem” with “Well try losing weight”, no matter what the problem is. And that’s not okay. That KILLS people. And that’s why quality medical care for fat/plus size people is such an issue.
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The Devil sat at the gates of hell...
An old man suddenly arrived in a burst of flames, looking confused and lost. The Devil looked at his paperwork, and frowned. He was unable to find this old man’s data file.
“This can’t be right,” the old man grumbled, looking at the Devil, “I’ve been a good man my whole life.”
The Devil nodded apologetically, most people said this when they arrived at Hell. “Why don’t you start with how you died and we’ll figure it out.” He said
The old man sighed and said:
“Well, I was out with minding my grandchildren, enjoying a fun day out. I don’t get the grandchildren often because my eyesight is starting to fade. But we were having the most wonderful time..
And that’s when everything went crazy!
Out of nowhere, I spotted the largest most grotesque mouse I’ve ever seen moving towards us. It was absolutely enormous!
And that’s when it moved. Straight towards the grandchildren first, limbs outstretched. You don’t know where mice have been, what if it had’ve bitten one of them? Can you imagine if they got rabies on my watch?”
“So what did you do?” The Devil whispered, entranced by the story. He was munching on a box of popcorn.
The old man continued,
“You don’t get how big this mouse was! Radiation it must’ve been. Too many phones these days, that’s what causes it.
I did the only think I could!
I grabbed my walking stick and I cracked it over the head. Now my eye sight isn’t that good anymore, but I whacked it good!
The kids started screaming at this point. You know how they get when you have to kill an animal.
But I needed to keep going. You see with mice, you need to see their guts to know they’re dead. Otherwise they’ll be back with others.”
“So you killed it?” The Devil asked. Some of his demigods had come to listen to the story.
The old man nodded,
“By golly I did! Guts and all were splattered for all to see. The kids had lost their mind at this point. Tears everywhere. A crowd had gathered as well, all screaming at the sight.
It was at this point though, that the exertion caught up with me. I felt my heart give way. I must have suffered a heart attack. Next thing I know, I’m here.”
“Well,” the Devil said, concerned, “This doesn’t seem to add up. Let me just give Heaven a call and we’ll try and see what’s going on here.
The Devil pulled up a phone from thin air and dialled a number.
“Hey Jesus bro,” the Devil said, “I think I’ve got one of yours here. His story checks out. Must have been a mix up.”
The Devil nodded as a voice on the phone spoke back to him. He gave the old man a silent celebratory thumbs up as the voice continued.
The Devil covered the phone speaker with his hand, turned to the old man and said,
“You’re all good, they just want to know where you were when you died.”
The old man nodded,
“Oh that’s easy, I was at Disneyland.”
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hiii!!! i love your blog so much, it’s amazing. i hope im doing this right, but can you maybe do angst to fluff of Sakusa, Kuroo, Atsumu and Oikawa (I think you said 4 people, but if not then whoever you choose is fine) where they’re about to start a match and they’re kinda irritated and their s/o comes up to them to help lift their spirits, but they get angry at their s/o for doing that and they just yell at their s/o in front of everyone and s/o is embarrassed and leaves the gym. The match is over and they realize their s/o left and they make it up to them. If not that’s totally fine, love your work and take care of yourself <33 :))
Everyone except Kuroo is timeskip, because he’s too busy being a businessman to play volleyball 😭🤚🏼
Going up against his cousin, Sakusa felt that there was a lot riding on this game. While he was happy to play against his high school teammate and family member, there was still a pressure on him to do as well as he possibly could. Putting in extra time and effort into practice, he’d been a lot more on edge this last week following put to the match. Wanting to help clear his mind a bit before the game, you walked up to him, ready to give him a small peck on the cheek and encourage him some.
“Omi baby, you’re match is about to start, so-” he cut you off.
“I know my match is about to start y/n you don’t have to tell me. I’d like to be allowed to warm up in peace now please, this is a really important game.” His voice was stern and somewhat cold, making your frown at his tone. But you didn’t say anything, assuming that the nerves were kicking in.
“I know baby, I just wanted-”
“Y/n, did you not hear the part where I said I’d like to be in peace? That insinuates that I’m asking you to leave me alone and stop being so annoying, or are you too dim to get the message?” Looking up at him in shock not only for the words he’d said, but also at the volume of his voice, your eyes quickly darted around to see that his teammates had turned at his outburst, staring at the two of you in shock. Seeing pity on some of their faces, your cheeks burned in humiliation, confused why he’d taken his stress out on you when you were simply trying to help. Staring up at him with misty eyes, you nodded curtly, before making your way over to the bleachers where your things were. You waited till he turned to continue practicing a few serves before gathering your belongings and making your way out of the arena to go home.
The game had gone smoothly, and after the first few serves, Sakusa had regained his usual stoic and collected attitude, playing at his best. It wasn’t until after the game that he’d begun to realize his actions were more than uncalled for, guilt making its way into his system. He looked around for you, trying to find your figure so he could approach you and apologize for his behavior, but you were nowhere to be seen, and he was beginning to panic.
“Ya looking for y/n, ya jackass?” Turning over to Atsumu, Sakusa held his tongue, knowing that he deserved the little jab this time.
“Yes. As a matter of fact, I am looking for y/n.” Raising an eyebrow, Atsumu shook his head.
“Well y/n left. Ya’d have seen that if ya were paying attention after ya snapped for nothing in front of yer whole team.” Once again shaking his head in disappointment, Atsumu made his way past Sakusa, ready to get changed in the locker rooms after the interviews. Sakusa was about to pull out his phone to call you, but interviewers of his own popped up before he had the chance, much to his dismay. After another half hour of after game rituals, he was able to finally escape, quickly changing before trying to call your phone. As expected, no response. Texting you to pick up his call, his heart sunk a little when you’d left him on read, knowing you were trying to make it clear to him you weren’t going to speak. He was left with no other choice but to wait until the bus could drop him back off. He hoped you were still at the apartment waiting for him when he got back, a painful feeling twisting in the pit of his stomach.
“Y/n?” He called through the apartment when he finally got back, desperately hoping you were there. To his relief, you were at the table, eating dinner while scrolling through your phone. “Y/n I’ve been calling you nonstop, didn’t you see?” No response from you once again. Sighing, he sat next to you, looking at you with sad eyes. “I’m sorry love, I shouldn’t have snapped at you that way. It was uncalled for, and you didn’t deserve that.” Not saying anything, you got up and left the dishes in the sink, leaving them for him to wash, knowing he hated when things sat in the sink without immediately being rinsed off. Except this time, he followed you instead, trying to get you to say something. “Y/n, please don’t ignore me, I want to talk about-” but before he could finish his sentence, you turned around abruptly, glaring at him with pure venom in your gaze.
“Did you not get the part where I’m ignoring you? That insinuates that I’m asking you to leave me alone and stop being so annoying, or are you too dim to get the message?” His face dropped at that, looking down at his feet. Slowly, after a few moments, he hesitantly turned and made his way to the living room, sitting on the couch thinking back to how you’d used his words against him. He felt guilty about earlier, but he felt more guilty about feeling hurt by what you said, after all, you’d only repeated what he’d said to you earlier. Keeping out of your way, the rest of the night consisted of Sakusa looking at you hopefully whenever you’d step out of your room, only to deflate when you didn’t spare him a glance. As the night progressed, he slowly became more and more desperate for some acknowledgement from you.
Once it started to get late, the both of you began to head in for the night. Getting yourself ready for bed, you stopped when you saw Sakusa already on his side, looking at you brokenly. Rolling your eyes and turning the lights off, you slid into your side, making sure to be careful to keep strictly to your half. After turning your back to him, a few minutes later you heard a small sniffle.
“Y/n?” You felt a small poke to your shoulder, followed by another sniffle. “Can we please talk now?” Ignoring him, you continued to lay on your side. Another small poke to your shoulder and another sniffle later, you caved. Feeling you’d been petty enough, and that hurting each other was leading nowhere, you turned, moving one hand to cradle his face gently.
“Alright fine, come here.” Wasting no time, he shuffled closer to you, clinging to your body tightly. Kissing his forehead, you wiped away the few tears he’d let out. “You can’t speak to me like that Omi, especially not in front of your teammates. It doesn’t matter how stressed you are, it doesn’t excuse it. I only wanted to help you feel better. If you really wanted to be alone, you could’ve asked nicely, I’d have understood.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I won’t ever snap like that at you. Please don’t be mad at me anymore, it won’t happen again. I love you y/n.” Rubbing circles into his back, you smiled.
“I love you too. And congrats on your game, I saw it on television. You did amazing.” Smiling, he thanked you before he began to tell you little details about how it went and what it was like to play against his cousin.
Not me using this as an excuse to have Daishou throw some taunts his way
The loss against Fukurodani had hit Kuroo hard, his last chance at nationals hanging by a thin thread. Though he still had a shot at being the host representative, it still stung that he hadn’t actually scored a spot himself, he’d only gotten lucky there were three representatives for Tokyo this year. The game against Nohebi was an important one, and to say he was on edge was an understatement. Knowing your boyfriend was overthinking a little, you wanted to make sure you’d tried to calm him, wanting him to play at his best while he was at his usual level headed self.
“Hey Tetsu, don’t think too deeply okay? You’re gonna win this one, just as long as you stay calm.” Trying to reach for his chin, he turned his head away from your touch.
“Not right now y/n, I’m not in the mood. A pointless pep talk isn’t going to help right now,” he grumbled, turning to get back to his warm ups. Frowning, you reached out for him again, but he grabbed your wrist. “God y/n, I said not now! Can’t you see that? I’m about to start an important game for the national qualifiers, and you’re out here being a pest while I’m trying to warm up. Can’t you go to the other team if your gonna be a bother? At least then it’ll be useful.” He turned and left you there, as you looked up and saw all the eyes that had turned to look at you and witness you get yelled at by your boyfriend. Trying to fight back tears, you turned and exited the gym, ears burning from the embarrassment. As Kuroo reached for a ball, his long time rival approached him, a wicked grin on his face.
“You know, it’s funny you mentioned my break up earlier, I won’t be the only one going through a breakup if you keep treating your partner like that, Kuroo.” Daishou smirked at him, taking the opportunity and pushing his buttons to further rile him up.
“We’ll see whether or not that’s the case after I finish beating you,” Kuroo spat.
Of course, in the end Nekoma had won, and a huge weight was lifted off of Kuroo’s shoulders, the excitement of securing a spot at nationals taking over all of his earlier stress. Looking for your face in the crowd, his smile slowly dropped when he noticed you were nowhere to be found.
“Don’t expect y/n to be here, not after what you said,” turning to Kenma, he frowned. The outburst he had at you from earlier came crashing down on him, realizing just how much he had messed up. Calling your phone a few times, he wasn’t surprised to find that you weren’t answering, his calls getting declined immediately after each one he made. The whole bus ride back, he sat impatiently, leg bouncing as he thought about what he’d say to you, hoping you’d forgive his actions.
Sitting in your room, you typed away furiously, finishing homework that you could’ve done earlier if you hadn’t wasted your time getting up with Kuroo and heading to his match early to support him. Some match that turned out to be, you thought to yourself. Just as you went to check the time on your phone, a knock came at your door. Turning around, you came face to face with your boyfriend, the one you were very upset with at the moment.
“Hey y/n,” he mumbled, staring down at his feet as he rubbed his neck.
“Don’t be a pest Tetsuro, I’m trying to finish my homework. Go home.” Turning back around, you continued to type away at your laptop, attempting to ignore his presence as you finished the work you had left to do. Kuroo tried not to let the words sting, it was only fair you snapped back at him, but he still couldn’t help the feeling in the pit of his stomach when you spoke to him like that. He couldn’t imagine how you’d felt in front of the whole court when he’d done it himself.
“Y/n, I’m really sorry,” but you death glared him.
“Oh are you? You embarrassed me in front of not just your team, but your opponents, all the coaches, and even some of the audience too. You got your damn win didn’t you? So kindly leave me alone I don’t even wanna look at you right now.” Trying once more to speak up, he reached out to touch your shoulder.
“Y/n I swear,” this time he was interrupted by his hand being swatted away.
“Would you just get out? What are you not comprehending?” Lips trembling, he looked down at the floor again.
“I-I just wanted to celebrate my win together,” he said quietly.
“I don’t wanna celebrate with you, I don’t care to at the moment. Now like I said about ten million times already, get out. Go home Tetsuro.” Turning back around, you stared at your screen, unable to concentrate. Behind you, you could hear Kuroo’s sniffling as he tried to think of what to do to fix things. He slowly made his way to your bed, curling up and looking over at you. After some time, as the two of you sat in an awkward silence, he finally spoke up.
“Are... are you gonna break up with me? Like Daishou said?” Turning to look at him, you saw how hard he was trying not to break down, the quivering of his lips shooting straight to your heart. Feeling bad that he was struggling not to cry after such a big achievement, you sighed, deciding to let this one slide just this once.
“No, I’m not gonna break up with you. Daishou’s full of shit okay?” Walking over to him, you sat on your bed, leaning against the bed frame as you collected your boyfriend into your arms. Wiping away tears, you kissed each cheek before pressing another one to his lips. “But you can’t take out your frustrations on me okay? I’m not gonna stand for that.” Nodding, he turned to bury himself deeper into your body.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I wish I was nicer, then you could’ve seen me win,” he whispered. Pecking his forehead, you smiled.
“I did watch you win, I came back in when the match started and left when it was over. You were wonderful baby, I’m proud of you. Congrats on nationals, I knew you could do it.” A smile forming on his face, he looked up at you.
“Yeah?” Nodding, you pulled the covers up, rubbing his back.
“Yeah, I’m glad you beat that jackass and put him in his place.” Chuckling, he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together. “He’s wrong, I won’t break up with you. I love you too much for that.”
“I love you too,” he smiled, as he began to discuss his strategies against his possible opponents at the spring nationals with you.
“Tsumu! Hey, I wanted to catch you before the game,” you ran up to your boyfriend, just as he was about to practice a serve. Tensing, he turned to you with a glare.
“Y/n, ya know not to bother me when I’m practicing or serving. Why’s this any different?” He looked at you with narrowed eyes. Stopping your arm as you had went to reach for him, you looked at him with your eyes wide.
“Oh... I-I’m sorry Tsum... I just wanted to wish you good luck you know, it’s your first game against Suna, and I thought-”
“Well ya thought wrong! I’m not in the mood for someone else squealing in my ears as I try to serve a few balls before I play. I’m tired of ya sticking to me like glue, quit being so clingy!” Staring at him in shock, you noticed the rest of the MSBY players frowning at the scene before them. As you were about to speak up, Bokuto came up to you.
“Cmon y/n, let’s get you to your seat. Cheer real loud for us okay?” He gave you bright smile, and your earlier shame form being yelled at by your boyfriend somewhat washed away.
“Yeah! Don’t forget to cheer for me loudest, I’m gonna score the most points!” Hinata piped up. Chuckling, you nodded, glad that Atsumu at least had two bright teammates to cheer you up.
“Okay, make sure you wave to me from the court then.”
As promised, you had cheered on for the boys, waving at Bokuto and Hinata a few times as they’d turned to you with smiles. You’d noticed the way your boyfriend had tried to meet your eyes a few times, but you refused to spare him a glance. Every once in a while, you’d catch him looking at you from the corner of your eyes whenever he’d made a service ace, hoping you’d spare him a smile, or at least meet his eyes. But you kept up your resolve, not ready to forgive him quite yet. Soon enough, they’d won the game, and you rushed over to the the two spikers, excitedly congratulating them on their win. Atsumu stared at you, feeling a blow to his heart when you hadn’t come up to him first. Slowly walking up to you, he tapped you shoulder.
“Y/n?” Turning to face him, he winced at your glare.
“I’m trying to congratulate Bokuto and Hinata on their win. Stop being clingy and let me do that in peace.” Turning back around, you continued to speak to his teammates, making Atsumu’s heart sink further.
It only got worse in the bus ride back, you had refused to sit by him like you usually did, opting to sit between the two you’d been speaking to the whole night. Watching you interact with a few other teammates as well, he fought back the urge to shove them away from you, staring out the window dejected. It stung that you hadn’t acknowledged him at all, but he couldn’t blame you. Thinking he’d fix things once the two of you made your way back home, Atsumu tried to keep himself calm.
Once the two of you made it back to your apartment, you continued your way to the bedroom, preparing for bed without sparing Atsumu so much as a glance. Once again, he tried to capture your attention.
“Hey, y/n?” Before he could continue, the slamming of the bathroom door rang through the room. Letting out a shaky breath, he tried to keep from breaking down, once more figuring he could try again, this time once you two made it to bed. You had planned on ignoring Atsumu for a bit longer, upset that he spoke to you like that in front of a crowd. He always was a bit short tempered, you knew that, but snapping without a cause in the presence of others was a bit too far. Making your way back to the room, you shut the lights off and slid into bed, making sure your side wasn’t crossed. An arm hesitantly slid around your waist, but you shoved it off.
“Y-y/n,” but you sighed exasperated.
“Can you shut up Atsumu? God why the hell won’t you leave me alone for the night, geez.” Shrinking back, he fought back tears.
“Y-ya didn’t speak to me all night, didn’t even congratulate me after the game. Ya just stuck to Bokuto and Hinata the whole time,” he whispered.
“Yeah I wonder why. Why would I want to spend time with you after the game?” His lips quivered, heart aching at the thought that you preferred the company of any man other than him.
“I’m sorry about snapping at ya, I just-”
“Shut up Atsumu! What the hell is wrong with you? I said I don’t wanna speak to you right now, now be quiet and go to sleep. Stay on your side of the damn bed too, got it?” Sniffling, he spoke up again, voice shaky this time.
“I... ya aren’t gonna leave right? Just tell me that much please?” He was met with an eerie silence. Letting out a soft sob, he grabbed your waist. “Y/n I’m sorry, I really am. Please don’t leave me. Not for one of them, I can’t live through that!” The panic in his voice made you break your resolve, it wasn’t in your intentions to make him think you were walking out on him. Sighing, you turned, wrapping your arms around his torso.
“Tsumu baby, I’m not leaving okay? It’s okay, I’m not gonna leave for one of your teammates. I just would appreciate if you’re a bit kinder to me when you’re stressed, it’s not fair to take it out on me.” Burying his face into your neck, he continued to sniffle.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I won’t speak to ya like that again, I promise.” For a moment, he was quiet before he spoke up again in a small voice. “Ya looked really good with Bokuto, sometimes I can’t help but think he’d be better for ya.” Shushing him, you stroked his hair.
“No Tsum, I look best with you. I love you. I didn’t mean to make you think I’d want Bokuto over you, I was just mad. Let’s just forget about it okay? You did really well today, I’m proud of you. Congratulations baby.” Kissing his forehead, you rubbed his back slowly.
“Thanks,” he whispered into your neck. “I was hoping ya’d notice me.”
“I did notice you, I promise. You always stand out the most, wherever I look.” Continuing to rub his back, you both slowly fell asleep listening to each other’s heart beats.
I didn’t really feel like doing Oikawa’s, the prompt was getting repetitive lol I’m sorry 😭. But I hope you enjoyed the other three!
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I guess only some black lives matter.
Yall don’t care about black women or black girls.
I work in a public school system in the inner city. I’ve worked with kids from k4-12th grade. I’ve seen fights that look just like the video of Ma’Khia. People throw chairs, they bang other kids heads into lockers, they punch kids, they kick kids, they grab whatever they can and try to use it as a weapon. I’ve deescalated fights, school security, school staff, teachers, and admin have all broken up fights and deescalated them. Funnily enough, we’ve never had to murder a kid; even when they were hurting other students, we calmed them down and everyone lived. The fact that police can’t calmly break up this situation - what with all their training and their gear that they have- and their first instinct is to fire a gun no questions asked is ABSURD. Especially because it’s not for reasons you all keep making up. It’s not because “she was about to kill the other girl” if that was the case why is Kyle Rittenhouse still alive after walking around with a weapon after ACTUALLY killing folks. Why did police treat him like he was one of the good guys? Why did Dylan Roof not get dropped on the spot after slaying 9 black people who were praying in church!? I thought yall said that police have no choice when they see a weapon and lives are in danger, THEY HAVE TO SHOOT!!! Oh... I guess that’s only when they see black people. And I guess that yall’s empathy is only reserved for black males.
Ma’Khai was a little too black for yall, and a little too big, and a little too loud, violent, aggressive, and hostile for yall. You saw her as an animal so it was ok that she got put down like one. “Hey, the cops are just doing their job! They didn’t have a choice here!” But wait a minute, I thought ACAB!? My, my how quickly you all change your tune. I thought that it doesn’t matter if someone is breaking the law or not, they don’t have a right to be murdered even IF they aren’t cooperating. Damn, what happened to that song yall were singing when it came to black males?
I’ve not felt this much pain and hurt since Trayvon Martin. I’ve not felt so discarded and so hopeless and let down in a long time. The most disrespected, unprotected, and neglected person in America is the black woman. I knew yall hated black women but I’m always surprised by how much. Yall hate us so much that you think it’s ok for police to unload 4 bullets into the chest of a 16 year old who was defending herself in a fight. And the thing is, even if she wasn’t defending herself, even if she had started the whole thing, she still doesn’t need to be shot 4 times. Not when police are able to take violent white criminals into custody and make stops at burger king while they’re at it.
We gotta have our own backs as black women and it fukin sucks. But the kicker is that black women themselves are throwing their humanity under the bus to shuck and jive. Why are black women themselves saying that this baby deserved to die and that she needed to be held accountable, killing her isn’t accountability. Basically yall sayin she deserves the death penalty for something she might have done. Black women have to have their own backs because not even other black women will have our backs. And don’t even get me started on the black men who watch us drown as we toss them our life jackets. We are out on the front lines for black men and they just simply cannot show up for black women. Black men, Shannon Sharpe and Don Lemon publicly tell America that it’s ok because Ma’khia was unruly and uncivilized. Nows ya knows ya gots ta ack rite fos massa come round... I feel like now that yall got the verdict for George, now yall don’t wanna step outta line too much and Ma’khia is who yall are willing to sacrifice in order to show white America your utmost gratitude.
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JJK || awkward s*x moments vol.2
gojo, nanami, yuuji, megumi, toji, sukuna, choso, naoya
all characters are aged up || minors DNI
warnings/tags: [intended lowercase], mentions of: cockwarming, period sex, semi-public sex, dirty talk, oral (m.receiving), riding, drunk sex
unrelated but everyone needs to see this masterpiece
gojo: started dirty talking while using the name of his favourite sweets, “oh my, sweet little donut, I’m gonna fill up with my cream” or “oh yeah baby, suck on my popsicle juice just like that” the last straw was him referring to your nether lips as a “layered croissant he will devour” before you banned him from speaking in bed😐
nanami: had you sitting on his lap, cockwarming him while he did some work. you tried to tease him and made a comment about how attractive he looked in his glasses; he tried to sensually take them off and put it on you but ended up almost poking out an eyeball and getting his dick half bent as you almost fell off his lap while trying to rush to the bathroom to check your eye
yuuji: you had been in the middle of an anime marathon which had led to an intense make out session and eventually to him taking you from behind on the couch. only problem was that the television was still on and yuuji got so lost in the pleasure that he subconsciously started humming and singing along to what was playing in the background while still messily thrusting into you. and that is why you can never listen to “shinzou wo sasageyo” the same way again😭
megumi: the first time you stayed over at his apartment led to some extremely messy sex, both of you drunk out of your minds as he suppressed your mouth with his hand and tried to make the least movement possible to keep yuuji from hearing across the wall. you’d assume that you two did a pretty sneaky job. instead, yuuji was terrified as he walked in on his best friend and his girlfriend going right at it in the living room like bunnies, with the lights on and windows open. turns out, you never made it megumi’s bedroom and it wasn’t your mouth that his hand covered, it was greasy pizza leftover yuuji had been saving😀
toji: he’s horny but also an impulsive idiot, meaning you need to be the one to carry condoms at all times because you never know when this man will try something. for once, he seemed very smug about taking you in a bathroom stall at a party as he assured you he was the one carrying protection, “let me spoil you sometimes too” only for him to go ahead and pull the cheapest brand of condoms, a slobbery dildo, and mint (god knows why); all out of his worm’s mouth😍
sukuna: you were drunk and on your knees, and thought it’d be the smoothest thing to ask “can i sukuna?” “can i sukuna what, brat?” “can i sukuna DEEZ NUTS?” you thought you were hilarious but only ended up choking around his cock while he contemplated whether good head was worth keeping you alive😐
choso: he was honestly the most sweetest and reassuring when it came to sex but you wanted to try something new and he agreed to your wishes. so there you were later that night, tied up as he spanked you from behind while thrusting into you. only to your bad luck, it was the same day your period decided to come early and you were notified about it from the loudest most high pitched scream you’ve ever heard. you had to spend 30 minutes calming down a shaking choso who thought he was killing you with his dick😭
naoya: “i can change him! who cares if he thinks women are useless, he can use me as his stupid dumb wife hehe!” *cue you crying because his balls smell like an overfilled dumpster and you’re sure you saw some thick mouldy white growth on the underside of his cock which was definitely not pre-cum*
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shortening his name except he thinks you called him another guy’s name
⤷ oikawa, bokuto, atsumu, suna, mattsun ; [gn!reader]
GENRE/WARNINGS: comfort(?), angst if you squint hard enough, mild swearing
NOTES: i will literally offer my hand in marriage if you reblog. and thank you to @/sugawaaras for giving me the idea for mattsun’s <33
even though he tried to be confident, in reality, his self confidence sat on a throne built from things he told himself in the mirror and compliments he never believed
so its not a surprise that his first reaction just... isn’t one. he’ll stop and replay it over and over again in his head to make sure he’d heard you correctly
and then his heart breaks — it actually hurts him, makes him feel like he can’t breath, and before he even knows it theres tears in his eyes
of course, he knows you’re never supposed to let the reason you’re crying see you crying
so he attempts to act like he’s more annoyed than that he just had his heart just obliterated
it’s not a secret though. through the pain in his eyes, anyone can see the shattered remnants of what was once his heart
“ru, can you grab my phone for me?” you called to your boyfriend from the couch, remembering that you’d left your phone in the other room.
it was quiet for a moment; not long enough for you to ask if he was okay, but long enough that the silence was odd. you heard heavy footfalls again, then saw oikawa standing just inside the room with a clear look of betrayal on his face.
“what?” you asked him, wondering if he was kidding around. you hadn’t done anything, there was no reason why he’d actually be upset with you.
as he stepped closer to you, you could see the tears whelling up in his eyes, and you were left to wonder what was wrong.
“what’s wrong? tooru, hey, are you ok?” your voice was much softer when you spoke this time. your heart dropped when you saw him step back at your step forward.
“so now you can call me by my name?” you think his voice was meant to be low and hostile, but in his struggle not to cry it came out strangled and cracked.
“what did... do you mean ‘ru?”
“yes! who the hell is that? if you wanted to-“
“no no, babe, your name is tooru. the last syllable of your name is ru. it’s just a shortening of your name, not someone else’s.”
you watched his lips form a smile and he let out something like a laugh, seemingly at his own confusion, and then the tears finally fell.
he’d walked into your arms soon after, with his arms wrapped tightly around you and his face buried in the crook of your neck
“sorry... sorry for not trust- trusting you, i just-” his sentence was cut through with sharp breaths and hiccups, and then finally stopped with your own voice.
“it’s alright, i didn’t mean to scare you. we can cuddle if you want, hm?”
he was already struggling to keep himself from fully breaking down. but when one of your hands came up to pet his hair, a whine left him — you think it was supposed to be an ‘mhm’ to your offer — and his hands gripped tightly at your shirt, his arms around you getting tighter.
he doesn’t miss a beat, immediately looking up at you to wonder if he’d heard you correctly
it’s just a small spike of anxiety at first, but the more he lets the foreign name resonate with him, the more it makes him worry
he has to build up the courage to ask you who the other guy is, because he can’t do it right away, he’s way too nervous
he looks so sad as well, puppy dog eyes looking at you, seemingly just slightly worried
unbeknownst to you, his heart is pounding in is chest and with each passing second, it runs the risk of shattering
“‘taro!” your voice was a giggle as he left little kisses all over you. they weren’t nearly enough to leave hickeys, just little pecks across your face, your neck, your chest.
as soon as the name left your lips though, he stopped, golden eyes snapping up to look at you with a pain you’d never seen in them before.
you could tell he was definitely upset about something, but you had no idea what it could be. hell, the way he looked at you, it was almost as though you were the reason.
of course, you were unaware that bokuto’s first thoughts went to rintaro, middle blocker from the famed inarizaki. suddenly he was thinking of every time you’d ever spoken about the team, said how many fan girls they had, how many games they’d won.
he wanted to say something. he really wanted to ask what you’d meant. but the words seemed caught in his throat.
it wasn’t long before he couldn’t take it though, and he pushed the words out, despite the alarms going off in his head and his heart immediately jumping to his throat.
“who is ‘taro?” you didnt think you’d ever heard him sound so small. so timid, so close to his voice cracking with the tears he was holding back, so... scared.
“you? who else? i can call you kou if you’d prefer that though. you don’t have to look so upset.”
bokuto smiled then, relaxing the weight on his arms enough so he was on top of you. he supported himself enough not to crush you, but there was nothing more he wanted in the world right now than to be held by you.
he liked to consider himself a tough guy. he liked to.
but there were times whenever his support fell, leaving his world to crumble in his hands, slipping through his fingers no matter how hard he tried to hold it all together
and when thought he heard a guy’s name that isn’t his own come from you, it felt just like one of those times
he was asking what you’d meant before his mind could even properly register your words
and by that point he didn’t care enough to replay the name in his head, his mind already caught up looking for the things he’d done wrong, the things he hadn’t done.
“oh, ‘umi, if you want to we can go to th-”
“what the hell?”
it surprised you how much venom laced his words, despite the fact that you’d done nothing wrong. the thought that he was being sarcastic or joking with you crossed your mind, but atsumu wasn’t exactly the best actor.
he couldn’t fake the look on his face, couldn’t fake how his heart had seemingly stopped just from the look in his eyes.
“what do you mean?” your voice was soft when you spoke now, no longer so nonchalant.
he lips pressed into a thin line and he set his jaw in frustration. it took him taking a deep breath to finally say, “you called me ‘omi.’ if you like-”
“no, i heard you, you called me omi. if- if theres...” he never finished his sentence. there was already a lump in his throat and he knew that if he were to say anything more, he’d cry.
“no, no. i called you umi. like your name just a little bit different.”
his face was drawn in a look on confusion. his eyes studied you, trying to look for any sign of you lying. but he trusted you, of course he trusted you.
he came over to hug you, his arms wrapped tightly around you. you heard him sniff, but you knew he’d deny crying if you asked him.
“i love you,” his voice made him sound so small, it was a level of weak and vulnerable you’d not seen from him.
“i love you too.”
the words “stay calm” had never been repeated in his head to himself so much
well, it was more like a string of curse words with “stay calm” thrown in occasionally, but he’d never felt so scared
the look on his face is annoyed at first, but it quickly starts to shift into one with a little more worry
he’s terrified, in all honesty. but he’s already told himself he’s not going to let you see that
“taro, can we stop by a corner store on the way home? i need something.”
your voice had been so calm. so why did it feel like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest?
he knew you hadn’t meant to. but why you’d even slipped and call him by another name in the first place worried him. it took him only a few seconds for his mind to land on bokuto koutarou.
bokuto koutarou, one of the top aces.
“well fuck you too i guess.” his tone may have been confused with one of anger at first, but you could tell that wasnt it. anger is a secondary emotion, you knew in reality he was hurt.
the only problem is, you didn’t know what. from his words you knew it was something you’d done. but there was nothing that came to mind.
“sorry? what did i do?”
suna hesitated for only a second before asking why you’d called him by another name. he took a deep breath immediately after speaking, your silence only breaking his heart more. as though it wasn’t already destroyed.
but your silence was born from shock and confusion, not being caught like suna had assumed.
“taro. like rintarou. like your name. who else would i be talking about?”
“uhm. koutarou? i don’t know, forget about it.” he’d never felt like a bigger jackass before; he never swore at you.
you smiled a little at his words and walked over to hug him. he hummed at that and pressed a small kiss to your temple, then buried his face into the crook of your neck.
“i didn’t mean to-”
“it’s ok, rin.”
he had to stop for a moment to let it sink in before he could react
after that there were too many emotions rushing through him to do anything for another few moments
in fact, his silence coupled with the distant, betrayed look on his face was somewhat unsettling
it takes him longer than he would like to question you, but it’s because he’s already preparing to collect his shattered heart after one of his worst fears becomes true
“why are you here?” mattsun heard iwaizumi’s voice and he smiled a little to himself, knowing that he must have been talking to you.
he’d been waiting for you all day, it seemed like forever since he’d last seen you. the only thing he wanted right now was to hold you.
“oh, i’m here to see ‘kawa!” you said happily. mattsun could hear the smile in your voice without even seeing you.
you were here for oikawa. of course you were here for starboy oikawa tooru, of course your boyfriend was just a stepping stone.
he was still frozen when you rounded the corner. the look on his face was concerning, you couldn’t remember the last time — if there ever was one — he’d looked absolutely terrified, the last time he looked so hurt.
“mattsun... are you ok?”
he didn’t answer you. it took him a few moments before he could finally speak, and even then his voice was different than it usually was. it was... pained? betrayed? whatever it was, you knew it wasn’t mattsun.
“did you really come here just to see oikawa? what happened to me being your boyfriend?”
it took you a few moments to try and understand what he was talking about. you’d never said that. hell, you always came for mattsun, not once had you ever spared oikawa a thought.
“no, babe. i said ‘kawa’, as in matsukawa.”
he seemed to melt at your words. that expression disappeared from his face, his body untensing. he moved to pull you into his arms, holding you close to himself with a desperation he’d not had before.
him thumb rubbed soothing circles on your back. you could tell he wanted to say something. but then he stopped right before the words left him, instead opting to make a joke to lift the mood.
“good, i was about to kick oikawa’s ass.”
“...we were having a moment.”
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Play Well with Others
Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader, Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader
Summary: Steve has a thing for his best friend’s girl...and he knows it.
Word Count: Over 1.6k
Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, voyeurism, slight exhibitionism, feels
This is not beta-read, so any and all mistakes are my own.
This is my first attempt at anything involving mafia/mob and it’s mainly just feels and smut! Moodboard by @dreamslikeaheartbeat.
@buckyownsmylife I feel like you would appreciate this. If you’re looking for great mafia fics, check out @angrythingstarlight. And @tuiccim has a great series of Steve wanting Bucky’s girl. Enjoy, lovelies!
Steve Rogers would do just about anything for Bucky Barnes. They always looked out for one another and had since they were young boys. As they rose in the ranks, their loyalty to each other kept them alive. Neither of them had forgotten that. And coming into his own made Bucky proud.
People no longer picked on him because of his size. Those who tried to cross them figured out quickly why they were in charge of the city. Captain and Winter. The nicknames somehow made people fear them more. They were part of the power that helped them stay on top. It wasn't an easy life, but they were content. Until you showed up.
Bucky was no longer content. He was happy. Only the closest in the circle saw the change when you were around. And Steve was...jealous. At first he thought he was jealous of the bond you forged with his best friend. At the end of the day, he still had feelings and didn't want to be replaced. He felt like an ass because you were nothing but kind to him.
Over time, he realized he was actually jealous of Bucky. He found someone who not only accepted his life, even when it frightened you, but loved him as he was. Not only that, you were an amazing woman. You kept up with Tony's wit and humor, looked out for Peter and even managed to charm Loki at the last meeting.
He fell for you, even when he tried so hard not to. You were his best friend's girl. His best and only girl. Guilt ate at him when he imagined what it would feel like to have you wrapped around his cock or to look at him with the same devotion you showed Bucky. He would get over it in time and no one would ever know.
After Steve shook the thoughts of you away, he checked his watch. He had to discuss the next shipment with Bucky and he was never late for his meetings. He smoothed out his shirt as he stopped at the double doors, not registering the noise at first as he walked in.
"Bucky, please. Please!" you cried.
Steve froze, his jaw open in a stunned expression. It wasn't the first time the Captain caught his partner with a dame, but it was the first time he had seen you. And since you, Winter hadn't taken another woman.
You had a death grip on the desk as Bucky roughly fucked you. Your dress was pushed up around your tempting hips and Bucky was still in his suit. Like he couldn't wait to have you. How he wasn't buried in you all day long, he didn't know.
Seeing you blissed out was something he would think about when he went to bed that night and many nights after. And Bucky wasn't done with you. Not with the way he thrust, his metal hand keeping you in place to make you take it.
"Please what, doll? I don't think he heard you."
You made a choked sound as you managed to lift your head, a matching stunned expression on your beautiful face. He couldn't look away, his feet glued to the floor. He knew he should leave. But he didn't exactly want to.
"Bucky…" you whined, looking over your shoulder.
"Have a seat, Steve. Now."
Bucky was a man of few words when it came to dealings and other matters. So when he spoke, everyone listened. Willing himself to walk, he took a few steps toward his desk.
"No," Bucky said calmly, not breaking his stride as he nodded to the chair in front of his own desk...in front of you. "Best seat in the house."
He swallowed, each step more painful than the last. The tent in his pants had to be obvious to you. Or were you so drunk on Bucky's cock to truly notice him?
Bucky smirked when he sat down, trying to get comfortable. "There we go. Why don't we give him a real show?"
Clarity filled your eyes momentarily as your hips were pulled back, moaning as Bucky pounded you. His hand still stayed on your upper back, the action forcing you to stay down...to look right at Steve. He fell in love all over again.
"He likes you, doll. Did you know that?"
"No," you moaned and it was an honest answer. Not once had you ever lied to them. You also weren't cruel. You wouldn't taunt or throw his feelings in his face.
"I know," he cooed, looking down as he sank into you. "No one else knew...but I did."
Steve felt like he was back in the alley getting punched in the stomach. Of course, he knew. They knew each other so well. How did he think he could hide that? And why didn't he hate him for it?
"Bucky…" he tried, but his eyes were on you. Even with the guilt, he was half tempted to take his cock out and shove it in your inviting mouth. Would you like the taste of him? Would you choke on him?
"He needs to see that you're mine. Tell him. Tell him you're mine."
He had never known Bucky to be possessive, but things were different with you. He would have felt the same way if you were his girl.
"I'm yours," you moaned, your eyes filled with pleasure. The desk almost shook from the force.
Steve couldn't find it in himself to be angry at the words. He had no right because they were the truth. And watching you like this, in the throes of ecstasy, was a gift. His own private porno.
"But I'm generous. Maybe one day I'll let him fuck you."
Was he serious? He didn't dare show anything on his face, even as he twitched in his pants. Fuck, he wanted that. He wanted to worship every inch of you. He wanted to make you come with his name on your lips.
"You like that idea, doll? Fuck, you got so tight around me. Trying to milk my cock."
"I just...fuck!" you cried
"You want me," Steve thought as he watched, his breathing heavier. It wasn't a cocky thought, but a hopeful one. He wished he could reach out and touch your cheek, to keep that gorgeous gaze on him. Bucky was generous to give him this, even though this was to send him a message.
"You wanna come? Show him gorgeous you look when I make you lose it?"
"Please, Bucky, make me come!"
"Come on my cock and show him you're mine."
Watching as you came apart at the seams almost made him come, your cry making him visibly shiver. It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever had the honor of viewing. He would have to thank Bucky later. If his friend didn't put a gun to his head.
"That's it. Fuck, so good. Fluttering around me the way I like it."
"Please," you mumbled.
Bucky grunted, his hips pumping hard before stilling. He leaned down to bury his face in your neck, moaning as he finished. Steve didn't realize he was gripping the chair until he flexed his hands. He feared if he moved, he really would make a mess in his pants. He deserved that discomfort.
"I've got you, doll," Bucky whispered as he pulled out of you, moving to sit so he could hold you.
Your eyes were only half open, but the soft smile you gave Steve made his heart twist. It was a smile that could bring the world to their knees. That was exactly what you did to him and Bucky. It was also a smile that said whatever this was...it wasn't over.
"Love you," Bucky swore, tipping your chin up to meet his gaze.
"Love you, too," you whispered.
Hearing that didn't hurt as much as it normally did, but seeing him kiss you like that was dizzying. There was tenderness there that no one else would ever feel. The hands covered in blood time and time again held you like you were the most cherished creature in the universe. It hit square in the chest that Bucky's devotion to you would never die.
The blonde opened his mouth to speak when the kiss ended, but Bucky held his hand up. You tucked yourself against his chest, not saying anything else. No one spoke for a few minutes, even as you drifted off in his lap. The tension rose with each second that passed.
"You planned this?" he finally asked to break the silence.
"I did. I can't have anyone thinking they can just take her from me," he said, kissing the top of your head. "That includes you, Stevie."
Steve let out the breath he was holding. Malice didn't exist in his friend's tone and there was no anger in his eyes. "I don't want to take her from you. I don't," he promised. He couldn't do that. "I'm sorry."
Bucky nodded after a moment. "We can't always control how we feel. And I know you don't want to take her from me. I can see that now."
"Easy to fall in love with."
Steve nodded. "You're very lucky."
"I am," he agreed. "If I were to share down the road...it would only be with you."
Steve couldn't believe his ears. He thought the earlier statement was just dirty talk. "You would…You would really do that?" he asked above a whisper.
"Yeah, punk," he smiled gently. "But that would be a mutual discussion and decision. She isn't a toy or prize and I refuse to let her get hurt. And if she says no, that's the end of it."
There was pride in his tone. You were their equal, always. "Of course. She comes first."
"That's usually the case," he smirked, pulling you closer. "Now...let's talk about that shipment."
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winter bird (M)
pairing: Jaehyun (NCT) + you (reader)
genre: exes sharing a room; angst melts to fluff in the end; smut
word count: 17.3k (i tried to keep it a decent length)
summary: The time has come for your family’s annual vacation. You’ve convinced Jaehyun to accompany you, though you broke up months ago, and pretend to be a happy couple to appease your overbearing mother. But things take a turn when you and Jaehyun are the first and only ones to arrive at the retreat.
warnings: some language; brief mentions of near death experience; explicit sexual content
a/n: listening to winter bird by aurora; this is a one-shot, there will be no sequels; check the masterlist in my description for other one-shots in this collection; happy reading!
Your breath billowed like smoke in the night. There was a sharp nip in the air, bitter with cold, and you shivered, pulling your coat tightly round you. It was two in the morning and most people were asleep, as you wished to be, but you had a train to catch.
A voice came over the speaker, announcing an impending arrival at the station, and as if on cue, you heard a loud horn a moment later. Glancing down the tracks to look for the train, you caught sight instead of a familiar figure striding down the platform toward you, dragging a suitcase behind him.
Heat warmed your cheeks, freezing instantly in the winter cold. You couldn’t help but just stare at him. Regardless of your history, seeing Jaehyun always sent a flutter up your spine. The butterflies woke in your stomach, somersaulting around your insides excitedly. You told your heart to calm down, forcing an innocent smile when Jaehyun locked eyes with you.
“Hey,” he greeted softly.
“Hi,” you replied, understandably awkward. “It’s been a while.”
Jaehyun bobbed his head, letting go of his suitcase to tighten the scarf around his neck. “Yeah, it has,” he finally said, breath visible like yours.
You rubbed your arm. The tension was enough to crush you into the floor. Clearing your throat, you stammered, “You look good. I mean, uh, well… obviously you always looked good, but I just meant good as in healthy. You look healthy.”
Dumbass, you mentally chastised yourself. Could you sound any more like an idiot? But it was true. Good was an understatement. His hair was a little longer and it suited the hell out of him. He seemed a bit thicker with muscle than before, but that could have just been the many layers of his winter clothes deceiving your eyes.
Jaehyun smiled, clearly amused by your rambling, but he passed the opportunity to tease you for it. And you were grateful. “So do you,” he said sweetly. “Good and healthy.”
You wanted to kick yourself for being nervous. Then, you remembered why you were seeing Jaehyun again for the first time in months and you softened with humility. “Jay, I really can’t thank you enough for doing this.”
Jaehyun waved away your concern and said, “Nah, don’t sweat it. I owe you one for letting me have full custody of the dog.”
A smile tugged at your lips at the thought of Peaches, Jaehyun’s fluffy Golden Retriever. You had gifted him the puppy not long after your first anniversary together and the two bonded overnight like they were meant for one another. She grew much faster than you thought possible, but despite her size, she was the sweetest dog that ever walked the earth. Though a bit clumsy and unbelievably spoiled.
Jaehyun pulled out his phone, checking the time, and you caught a glimpse of his lockscreen. It was a familiar picture - you had taken it last October. Peaches was wearing the most adorable plaid bandana, her tongue hanging wildly as she sat squarely in Jaehyun’s lap.
You wanted to laugh, though it was hard considering how rapidly your teeth chattered. Still such a Daddy’s girl, you mused. “How is she by the way?”
Jaehyun shook his head, smiling fondly at the thought of his darned dog, and replied, “Spoiled as ever. Thinks she’s entitled to get a bite of anything I eat or at least be allowed to sniff it. I trust her with my life, but not my sandwiches.”
You giggled. “She hasn’t changed a bit.”
“You really should come visit her,” Jaehyun interjected, making your heart sore. “Take her to the dog park or to the beach for a day. She would love it.”
You simpered, sad. The kindness of his suggestion was enough to make you teary. Casting your gaze down, you murmured, “I would hate to see her eyes when it was time for me to leave.”
Jaehyun had no reply to that. And so he didn’t press the issue.
You had been the one to insist on a clean break. You didn’t want to keep coming in and out of Jaehyun’s life when you clearly had no place in it anymore. Jaehyun wanted to leave the door open. He wanted to, at the very least, still be friends. The break up had been amicable by most standards.
Relationships were hard work, you learned. And fire can fizzle out when doused in the cold waters of everyday life and all its many stresses.
The longer you looked at him, the tension only grew stronger. You really wondered how in the hell you were going to get through this next week. Convincing your mother that you were still in a healthy, happy relationship was going to take a real test of your patience.
Another horn resounded through the night, much closer this time. You and Jaehyun both turned to see the train pulling into the station. It finally stopped with a groan and after a moment, passengers began to step off.
In a queue, you and Jaehyun filed into the train, desperate for warmth. You followed Jaehyun as he headed near the back, the seats mostly empty.
He asked over his shoulder, “This spot okay?”
“If it’s warm, it’s perfect,” you retorted, shivering to the core.
Jaehyun lifted his suitcase to put into the overhead bin. You began to mirror him, but he quickly grabbed the luggage from you, hoisting it with ease. You whispered a thanks and plopped into the seat by the window.
You didn’t speak again until the train began to move at long last. Jaehyun unzipped his coat and put it over your legs, making your eyes widen in surprise. He always was such a gentleman.
Jaehyun spoke before you could thank him, “The ticket said we should get there around eight or nine.”
You nodded and said, “Sounds about right.” You had made the trek many times.
Jaehyun promptly leaned back in his seat, laced his fingers over his stomach, and closed his eyes. For a moment, you simply stared. It really was unfair that he looked gorgeous at this ungodly hour and that he could fall asleep anywhere, at any time.
You rolled your eyes in envy and propped your head on your hand, staring out the window. There wasn’t much to see. The moon was hidden behind dark wisps of clouds. A few lights here and there illuminated the city deeply lost in sleep. Eventually, your eyes began to bat heavily and at some point between the rhythmic passing of poles and signs, you drifted off.
The train jostled and you sucked in a loud breath, eyes opening with reluctance. The first thing you noticed was the unbearably bright lights filtering in. It was morning. You glanced out the window, seeing nothing but white beyond the glass. Snow had fallen, heavy.
Rubbing your eyes, you groaned, “Are we there yet?”
That was when you felt a stirring beneath your head. You sat up rather abruptly, realizing you had been curled against Jaehyun, using him like a pillow. Jaehyun’s lips were slightly parted; he was knocked out and borderline snoring, but his eyes peeked open at your movements.
You were quick to apologize, “I fell asleep on you. I’m sorry.”
Jaehyun ran a hand down his face and rasped, “I didn’t even notice.”
That wasn’t true. At some point during the night, Jaehyun woke to find you asleep on his shoulder. The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile and he leaned his head against yours before slipping back into his dreams.
You swallowed at how deep his voice had gotten, thick with sleep. A number of memories came flooding back to you, but you were quick to shake your head and banish them away. “Thank you for lending me your coat,” you said, handing the jacket back to him.
He simply nodded, closing his eyes again tiredly and letting his head fall back against the seat with a thud.
You smiled, resisting the urge to run your fingers into his hair and brush the loose strands from his forehead. Turning back to the window to distract yourself, you smiled contentedly at the wintry landscape beyond, the sun gleaming as it rose higher into the sky.
Trains had always been a soft spot for you. Something rustic and whimsical about them, you pondered. Jaehyun took you on trains more than once on some of your most memorable dates with him.
Though you would be hard pressed to think of a date that wasn’t memorable. Jaehyun romanced you like it was his mission in life and when you fell for him, you fell hard. But to be honest, it didn’t take long to fall in love with Jeong Jaehyun. He was everything you could dream of in a partner. He was gentle and kind, supportive with his words and his actions, a perfect gentleman that your parents adored, a hopeless romantic at heart, and an animal in the bedroom.
When you broke up, you had never felt so empty. Like the sun had left and would never return again. Your bed was the coldest it had ever been and you had no one to blame but yourself. It was you that let the relationship dissolve the way it did. For the weeks that followed, you coped with wine and cake until you finally accepted that it was - completely and irreparably - over.
Jaehyun broke you from your reverie when he suddenly asked, “Are we getting close?”
“I think so,” you replied, eyes still on the window. You couldn’t look at him when your mind was packed from beginning to end with memories of your romance.
Jaehyun studied your reflection in the glass. You couldn’t see him staring at you and fortunately you couldn’t see him frown. Jaehyun wondered if it was painful for you to be beside him. It sure as hell was for him. He wanted to hold you. God knew he had wanted to kiss you the moment he saw you.
We had it all, he thought. We made so many promises. Jaehyun sighed. No one had ever stolen his heart before. But you had in no time at all. And when you broke up, he thought you would give it back.
Needless to say, that never happened. Falling in love with you was easy. Falling out was hard.
Jaehyun wondered when the hell he would get over you. He expected time would heal that wound, but now, sitting beside you, he felt no different than the day your relationship ended. Nothing was healed. Nothing recovered. His heart was still somewhere in the clutch of your palm.
You finally willed yourself to face him, looking down at your hands in shame, and whispered, “I’m so sorry I dragged you out here for this.”
Jaehyun forced a smile. “I could have said no. I don’t mind doing it.”
Though you had already explained it to him over the phone, you still continued, “I just can’t deal with my mother right now on top of this workload. All that ‘why can’t you keep a man’ or ‘when are you getting married’ stuff.”
Jaehyun genuinely chuckled. Your mother was a piece of work sometimes, though she meant well. Her delivery definitely sucked. Even Jaehyun was somewhat terrified of her.
You shook your head in self-reproach and added, “I’m sure you have your own stuff going on, too. I sound so selfish. I’m sorry.”
Jaehyun interjected, “You don’t sound selfish. I love the family vacation.” He had survived it twice before.
You rolled your eyes and teased, “Liar.”
Jaehyun snickered. I wanted to see you again, he almost said. There was unfinished business where you were concerned, but most of all, Jaehyun just wanted to clear the air. Maybe he could find some kind of closure with your relationship. Or maybe you could finally free him of the spell he was under.
It was almost ten when the train pulled into the station, running late. You stepped onto the platform with Jaehyun a pace behind, both of you dragging suitcases in your wake. As you and he made small talk, big smiles despite teeth chattering and visible breath like fog in the cold, the hired car arrived to take you the rest of the way.
In the backseat beside Jaehyun, your eyes were on the window. It was pure wilderness now. Mountains covered in snow, peaks lost in the clouds. Lakes and rivers lay frozen solid, glistening in the rays of sunlight breaking through.
Your heart was full. This was where you belonged, despite how hard you tried to get away from where you came from. The big city called with all of its opportunities and you answered. But the mountains never failed to summon you home.
“Seems colder than last year,” Jaehyun commented offhandedly.
You bobbed your head. “Yeah, the forecast said it would be pretty icy. I can’t wait to get by the fire.”
Last year the weather had been cold, but not bitter. Jaehyun thought back fondly on coats and scarves, and holding you in his arms on the pier. Nothing but stolen kisses and cuddles before the fireplace. And the occasional quickie in the bathroom where your family couldn’t hear.
Jaehyun shifted in his seat, quickly changing his train of thought. Thinking of you bent over the sink, taking his cock, and the sight of your bouncing breasts in the mirror never failed to get him hard. And given the current circumstances, that would not be a good idea.
And Jaehyun inevitably thought of your warm, sweaty bodies in bed, tangled together in sleep. He had never been as happy and content as he was safe and sound in your arms. It ashamed him - how badly he wanted that feeling back. How much he needed you to soothe his broken heart.
Fortunately, next to him, you were none the wiser.
The pavement ended and the road turned to gravel, dirt paths lined with trees covered in snow. The forest seemed endless, swallowing you whole. They didn’t call it a getaway retreat for nothing. Phone service would be sketchy at best and nonexistent at worst.
The car finally reached a break in the trees, a clearing just beyond. The lake was a giant frozen oval, enclosed by mountains on the opposite side. A house lay near the shore with a boathouse and a long pier over the ice.
You jumped out the moment the car came to a stop, gripping the door as you greeted the familiar view with a smile. This little hidden gem in the wilderness was your favorite place in the world.
“It hasn’t aged a day,” Jaehyun quipped, lifting your suitcase from the trunk, followed by his own.
You thanked him and grabbed your bag, hardly containing your excitement. “It’s so beautiful. I wanna cry.”
Jaehyun’s cheeks looked rosy. “Your tears will freeze.”
You snorted. After paying the driver and watching the car back its way out of the drive, you glanced around and said, “Funny. Mark’s car isn’t here. Neither is my Dad’s.”
Jaehyun finally noticed the empty covered space alongside the house and replied, “I guess we beat them here.”
You furrowed your brow, suspicious. “No, Mark said they would be here already, stocking the fridge and sprucing everything up.”
“Weird,” Jaehyun commented impatiently. “Maybe we can have this conversation in a warm house?”
“My bad,” you chuckled, rifling for your keys and unlocking the front door.
Once inside, Jaehyun breathed a little easier. You both stepped out of your boots and placed them on the rug by the door, but that was when you noticed no other pairs of shoes were there.
“Mark,” you yelled loudly, striding toward the nearby staircase. It would be totally in character for your mischievous brother to hide somewhere just for the chance of jumping out and scaring the shit out of you when you least expected it.
Jaehyun rubbed his hands together for warmth. He heard you calling for your parents. Stepping into the kitchen, Jaehyun opened the refrigerator and cabinets, finding both filled to the brim with food and drinks. “Fridge is stocked,” he shouted, growing a bit suspicious.
You came charging around the corner, clearly miffed. “Nobody else is here,” you told him worriedly, marching toward the large fireplace in the great room. Windows spanned the entire far wall, giving the clearest of views of the lake and mountains beyond. You found fresh cut wood in the hearth, and even more in a neatly stacked pile nearby, and you frowned in consternation.
Out of patience, you took out your phone and called your brother, hovering near the dining room where the phone signal was strongest. While also out of earshot of Jaehyun.
Mark answered on the third ring, “What up?”
“Mark, we are the only ones here,” you exclaimed under your breath.
Mark replied coolly, “I may have embellished the arrival date.”
You gaped, your heart sinking into the pit of your stomach. After a pause, you screeched, “Are you freaking kidding me?”
Mark snickered, clearly amused by his little trick. “Look. Everyone may buy your bullshit, but I’m your brother and I know better. It will do you some good to be alone with Jaehyun for a few days.”
You grit your teeth, hissing, “You are dead meat when I see you.”
Mark was totally unaffected and said, “Which will be this weekend. Chill the fuck out.”
“Unbelievable,” you snipped, throwing up your hands before putting the phone back to your ear.
“I had the whole place cleaned and stocked up. Try to keep it clean before we get there. Mom will pitch a fit.”
You were quick to snap, “You need to be more worried about the fit I’m pitching right now!”
Mark laughed and the sound was downright infuriating.
With a frown, you switched the phone to your other ear and whined, “Shit is gonna be awkward.”
Mark was the only one in your family that knew of the break-up. And he was Team Jaehyun all the way; a fact he never tried to hide. Least of all to you.
“Well, cozy up until it’s not awkward. If you know what I mean,” Mark teased, clicking his tongue.
You grimaced. “Ugh, you are the worst!”
“We both know I’m the best. Have fun! See you this weekend,” Mark said with glee, disconnecting the call before you could complain further.
You glared at your phone, even more livid that he had the balls to hang up on you. Now you were counting down the days until you could put him in a violent headlock.
Slapping on a brave face, you returned to the living room, stopping when you saw Jaehyun peering out the windows. He offered a placating smile, which you mirrored, and told him, “No one will be here until this weekend.”
Jaehyun turned to you, raising a brow. “Really?”
You clenched your jaw at the mental image of your brother’s smug face and grumbled, “Mark’s idea of a prank.”
Jaehyun laughed. “That little shit.”
You nodded and pursed your lips. “My thoughts exactly.”
“So, how do we wanna do this?” Jaehyun asked, slipping his hands into his pockets.
You furrowed your brows in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“The sleeping arrangements.”
You flushed, scratching your head, and said, “Oh, right. Well, I figured we would be in the same room or my parents would be suspicious.”
You met his eyes and faltered. The tension had snuck up on you when the realization set in that you were stuck in a lakeshore cabin alone with your ex. Biting your lip, you tugged on your sleeves until they covered your hands like sweater paws and said, “I guess for now you can take Mark’s room. I would never make you sleep on the couch or anything like that.”
“Sure thing,” Jaehyun said quietly, almost in disappointment, and headed toward the staircase with his luggage in tow.
You watched him go, feeling guilty. It would seem forward to tell him to share a room with you when no one was around. At least, that was what you told yourself.
Jaehyun entered Mark’s room and lifted his suitcase onto the small bench at the foot of the bed. With a shake of his head, he pulled the phone from his pocket and texted, What are you playing at?
Mark replied almost immediately, You don’t have to thank me, but Christmas is coming up.
Jaehyun snorted and typed a warning, The only reason I’m not going to kick your ass is because I know you do shit like this from a good place.
It went without saying you wanted to avoid Jaehyun for a few hours. Damn Mark and his constant need to meddle in people’s love lives. If he would just get his own, he wouldn’t have time for it, you snipped. Nevertheless, you had to accept the situation and figure out how to best deal with it.
The moment you stepped into your room, your eyes landed on the bed and your heart picked up speed. You could remember the sticky damp sheets against your back and Jaehyun’s weight on your body. You could hear him whispering, “Stay quiet, baby,” and covering your mouth with his hand as he rocked into you.
You sat on the edge of the bed and held your head in your hands. Awkward was the understatement of the year. You were alone in a house with your ex-boyfriend. A house literally covered in every corner with intimate memories of your time together.
Maybe if you and Jaehyun had ended things in angrier terms it would be easier. Obviously there would be spiteful passive aggression rather than unresolved tension. Anger was always a preferable feeling to sadness in your book.
Instead, you parted amicably, despite still having feelings for each other. Regardless of said feelings, you and Jaehyun had come to the grim conclusion that maybe you just weren’t compatible with each other in a relationship.
As the time went by, you steadily migrated from sitting to lounging in the bedroom. You could hear the television in Jaehyun’s room, next to yours. While you kept yourself busy on your phone, your eyes couldn’t stop drifting to the window. The mountains were calling.
Pulling your coat back on, you stepped out of your room and checked down the hall. With no sign of Jaehyun, you went downstairs and slid into your boots, heading out the back door with a bounce to your step.
You took a deep breath of crisp mountain air and closed the door quietly behind you. Navigating through the yard and to the pier, you weren’t satisfied until you stood at the end of the wooden platform. The lake was a mirror of ice, reflecting the clouds and the sun.
“Oh, Canada,” you quipped, rubbing your arms. Despite the chill, you had never felt stronger, more at home. Searching the mountains with your eyes, you took another breath of frigid air. There was something about being here, in the land that raised you, that made you feel whole. Invincible even.
Snow crunched behind you and you fought a smile when Jaehyun came to join you.
“I never get over this view,” he said in awe.
For a moment, you and Jaehyun stood in peaceful silence. No awkwardness or tension to speak of. There was a tranquility only to be found in a place like this.
You shifted your weight. Jaehyun was like gravity. You wanted to wrap your arms around his waist and lean your head on his shoulder. Like old times. You wanted to share his warmth, wanted to feel the heat of the fire that burned inside of him and let it melt you.
Knock it off, you told yourself. He’s not yours to hold anymore.
Jaehyun turned to you, his voice cutting through the quiet, “Whenever you’re here, you’re… happy. You know?”
You smiled and lied, “I was just thinking the same thing.”
Jaehyun couldn’t tear his gaze from you even if he wanted to. The sparkle in your eyes was more than the moon and all the stars combined. Fighting back the urge to gather you in his arms, Jaehyun whispered affectionately, “Winter bird.”
You blinked, heart racing. A thousand memories came rushing back to you. Of snow falling beyond the windows and the cracking of a fireplace. Of you and him naked beneath soft blankets, warm only because of the heat you made together.
Jaehyun had given you the nickname of endearment after a bottle of wine on Christmas Eve. It was your first holiday as a couple and Jaehyun had no idea how much love you had for the season of winter. You loved snowflakes and dark nights, and the cold that came with them. You loved the taste of hot chocolate, the weight of heavy sweaters, and the scent of bonfires.
But most of all, you loved the shade of rose across his cheeks in the cold.
Winter bird, you echoed to yourself, wind sweeping your hair into your face. And then you realized you were staring at Jaehyun, not a single reply coming to mind as you drowned in memories that threatened to rend you inside out.
I still love this man, you told yourself, almost in acceptance.
Jaehyun smiled, as if he could read your thoughts, and reached out to brush your hair out of your face. Then, he confessed softly, “My best memories with you are here.”
You opened your mouth to finally speak, but Jaehyun turned on his heels and headed back toward the house.
Jaehyun lowered his head as he walked, shoving his hands into his pockets. Never had he wanted to kiss someone so badly. It would have been rather romantic, kissing you on the bridge over a frozen lake with only the mountains as witnesses. And Jaehyun was nothing if not a hopeless romantic.
But you didn’t belong to him anymore.
Your lips formed a hard line, emotion tensing your face. He hadn’t seen the tears gathering in your eyes. One day, you feared you would look back and realize that Jaehyun was the one that got away.
Maybe that day was today.
Stepping back into the house after you cleared your head, you closed the door quickly before snow could track inside on the wind and slipped out of your damp boots. The scent of coffee reached your nose and you looked eagerly to the kitchen.
Jaehyun announced, “I made a pot, if you don’t mind.”
Shivering a little, you chattered, “Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”
He chuckled, pouring the coffee into two mugs he had found in the cabinet.
You took your cup and sat by the fireplace, dragging a quilted blanket to drape over your legs. Melancholy had settled over you or maybe just pensive thought. Either way, you were emotionally overwhelmed.
This was a terrible fucking idea, you thought. Alone in the house with Jaehyun, you had no one to hide behind. It was just you and him, unavoidable.
Jaehyun sipped his coffee and crossed the living room, crouching to glance into the hearth. “Ready to fire it up?” he asked.
You nodded. The sun was on its way down and the nights were viciously cold. A spot by the fireplace would be worth its weight in gold.
Jaehyun turned the dials and fire sparked between the logs. In a matter of minutes, the wood was consumed in the flames, crackling and hissing. Jaehyun tossed another chopped log inside before taking the seat across from yours.
You smiled when your eyes met, putting the mug to your lips and taking another gulp.
Jaehyun asked considerately, “How’s the coffee?”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Okay, I won’t,” you retorted.
Jaehyun snorted, amused.
After a few minutes of too much quiet, you watched him amble toward the nearby bookcase of vinyls, smiling to yourself. The house had belonged to your great-grandparents and was passed down on your father’s side. His father had a penchant for collecting vinyls and considered anything digital to be “utter nonsense.”
You thought fondly of your grandfather. It threatened to bring tears to your eyes. He had only met Jaehyun twice before his passing and both times told you, “He’s a keeper.”
Jaehyun pointed at the record player and began, “Mind if I…”
You nodded. Grandpa would be delighted. “Please do. You know I hate silence.”
Jaehyun chuckled, bobbing his head in agreement. He was having the same dilemma - being alone with you in deafening silence was making him think too damn much. Of what was, what could have been, and what might still be. Jaehyun brushed his fingers over the sleeves, stacked and sorted neatly as always, and searched for what would best fill the quiet void.
With the hot cup between your palms, you watched him pull out a vinyl, his hands ever delicate. You thought of his collection back home and how he lit up whenever discussing music with you.
There were quite a number of artists and albums that would always remind you of Jaehyun. No matter how much time passed apart from him.
A quiet yet melodious tune filled the empty house and you weren’t surprised at his choice. Jaehyun continued leafing through the collection of albums and your eyes lingered on his broad shoulders. The grey shirt hugged his body a little too well.
You remembered hugging him from behind and burying your face in his back the first time Jaehyun browsed intently through the vinyl collection. You were convinced he would never leave and playfully whined, “Pay attention to me.”
Jaehyun had chuckled and rubbed a hand back and forth over your arm.
You blinked back to the present and propped your head in your hand, enjoying the somber music and how it had abated the tension. Jaehyun meandered; it was easier than trying to hold a conversation.
He had expected to share his time with Mark. Jaehyun doubted he would be able to convince your parents that you were still a happy couple, but when you revealed that Mark was aware of the break up, Jaehyun breathed a little easier. Mark was the type of person that could find the silver lining in any situation. And could, more importantly, bullshit his way out of anything with a big smile on his face.
Still, Jaehyun was shocked to find that he wasn’t completely disappointed at being alone with you.
The sun dipped behind the mountains and the sky turned into the darkest shade of blue as to be almost black. You stole occasional glances out the window, marveling the moonlight as it glistened over the frozen surfaces.
“It’s snowing,” you suddenly exclaimed, making Jaehyun jolt in surprise.
He watched you leap from your chair, shuffle into your jacket and shoes, and before he could say a word of warning, you were out the back door. Jaehyun shook his head with a laugh - it would seem some things just never changed.
The crunch of snow beneath your boots was one of your favorite sounds. You held out your arms and snowflakes landed on your hands, melting at the touch of your warm skin.
Jaehyun stepped out to join you, lifting his eyes. The stars were out in full force, gleaming in a blanket of silver across the atmosphere. Teeth chattering, Jaehyun rubbed his hands together and said, “Not something you see every day.”
“Definitely not,” you replied with glee, convinced you could see a shooting star or two.
Jaehyun smiled at the steady snowfall landing in your hair, but a pang of worry alerted him to the dangerous cold. He was convinced icicles were beginning to form in the saliva on his tongue. “Hey, we should go inside,” he cautioned, tilting his head back toward the house.
“I know,” you said, slipping your frozen hands into the pockets of your coat. “I’m reliably reckless.”
“Grandpa would be proud,” Jaehyun teased sweetly, eyes sparkling.
Those words warmed you to the core and you gave Jaehyun a look that could never convey just how much affection you felt toward him for saying it. You could hear your grandfather’s words in your head again. He’s a keeper.
Powdery snow clung to your boots as you crossed the deck and Jaehyun opened the back door open for you, following you inside with haste. The two of you scurried to the fireplace and warmed your hands. Your noses and cheeks were frozen, and you gleamed at the blush of pink across Jaehyun’s face.
“Snow means hot cocoa,” Jaehyun said not long after, heading for the kitchen.
“You read my mind,” you cheered, skipping after him.
Together, you made steaming hot cups of the stuff, popping in some mini marshmallows. Sitting on the cream-colored sofa in a nook of windows by the kitchen, you clinked your mugs together and draped fluffy blankets over your laps.
The snow landed steadily outside and your eyes drifted to the windows, watching the flakes fall to the earth like rain.
For whatever reason, maybe your excitement over the snow or the warmth of the cocoa, awkwardness faded further away. You and Jaehyun talked well into the night. He told you stories about work. He also made you laugh over Peaches’ antics. The dog was a whirlwind of chaotic energy and you were relieved he had her as a steady, loving companion.
The conversation ranged from music to politics to food. Jaehyun was easy to talk to; there was never any doubt about that. You had an abundance of shared interests, because as it turned out, you both liked a lot of the same things. There were still some differences of opinions and preferences that inspired arguments of the exciting kind, but nothing to cause the other to anger.
A bitter taste lingered on your tongue. Damn, how you missed just being able to talk to him. The feeling was mutual. Jaehyun was sharing the same sentiment with every passing minute.
The clock ticked past midnight. Your eyes began to blink tiredly. The trip had finally caught up with you. Jaehyun wasn’t entirely immune either. His energy in the conversation was beginning to dwindle.
“I’m sorry for kicking you into Mark’s room after I dragged you up here,” you blurted. It had been weighing on your guilty conscience.
Jaehyun waved you away. That didn’t bother him though he was curious. “Honestly, I was wondering how we would be staying together while we were here. Would we sleep in the same bed or would I get couch duty?”
You shook your head. “God, I would feel like shit if I made you sleep on the couch.”
Jaehyun started, “But sharing a bed is kinda…”
“Yeah,” you agreed softly. The thought of Jaehyun and bed only served to bring back memories that made you press your thighs together.
Even more than that, Jaehyun was the one person you had been intimate and vulnerable with - physically and emotionally. You had bared your soul to him in one way or another and he accepted you for who you were. And loved you fiercely.
Jaehyun tapped his fingers absentmindedly on the cup in his hand and murmured, “Can I ask you something?”
I have a feeling I’m going to regret this. “Go for it.”
“I hate admitting it as much as the next guy,” Jaehyun trailed, as if reconsidering his question. “But I hate sleeping alone.”
You simpered, melancholy creeping back in again. “Me, too.”
Jaehyun studied you. The sadness in your eyes was apparent and he felt nothing but sympathy. Mainly because he was just as lonely and sad and melancholy as you were. “Have you… gotten used to it yet?” he finally asked.
You shrugged. “I don’t have much choice.”
The next question was out of Jaehyun’s mouth before he could stop himself. “So, you haven’t seen anyone since we split?” It had been gnawing at him.
“Nope,” you replied calmly. “Have you?”
That made your heart flutter. “Why?”
Jaehyun sighed, “I don’t want to fall in love again. Maybe ever.” It’s too painful, he almost added.
You lingered your eyes on his flushed cheeks and pretty lips. A sad Jaehyun was your biggest weakness in life. You wanted to hold him in your arms and cradle his head to your chest. It was never your intention to wound him the way you had.
But you didn’t feel good enough for him anymore.
“Me, too,” you replied, offering a smile in solidarity. “I’ve started thinking that maybe I’m just meant to be alone.”
Jaehyun ran a hand down his face, like the words that followed were torturous for him. “I know I’ve told you this a million times, but all I ever wanted was a normal, typical life.”
You felt small and your reply was weak, “I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you.”
“I never meant to put pressure on you. I didn’t realize I had until it was too late.”
Regret; that was clear as day in his tone. You blinked, nervous at where this was heading. You didn’t want to fight. You didn’t want to reopen old wounds. You were still stitching yourself up. You wouldn’t survive having your heart ripped open again.
“I… wanted to be that for you, Jaehyun, but I didn’t know how. I guess I didn’t fit the mold.” And I wasn’t good enough, you thought. Your insecurities and his expectations had collided in the ugliest of ways to ultimately cause you to give up your future together.
“Fuck the mold,” Jaehyun cursed. “I should have focused on what we had and not what we didn’t.”
Hope flickered in your chest and it was more painful than anything else. Hope was a terrible, evil thing. It left you hollow and void when it ran out. “I think we should stop,” you quietly asserted.
Jaehyun’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Stop what?”
“This line of conversation,” you said pointedly, shoring up the walls around your heart as fast as you could. “We have at least another day or two of being in this house alone together and I don’t want there to be tension.”
Jaehyun glanced at you, hair falling into his eyes, and whispered, “There’s tension regardless.”
That was undeniably true, but you didn’t want to accept it. Even the way he spoke made you desire him. To make him yours again.
You rose without another word, grabbing both the empty mugs and taking them into the kitchen. You rinsed the cups in the sink and set them out to dry, watching Jaehyun glide back to the record player and put a different vinyl on to spin.
Jaehyun recognized you in distress and he let you be. It was a hard subject, coming to terms with what went wrong in the relationship. You and he had left many things unresolved. It was like playing too hard and breaking a vase, then leaving the pieces on the floor without even attempting to put them back together.
You turned and leaned back against the counter, facing away from Jaehyun in the living room. Tears clouded your face and you forced them back. It did you no good to cry now. You’re just overtired, you consoled yourself, like coaxing a fussy baby.
I should have focused on what we had and not what we didn’t. Those words were spiraling around the little flame of hope in your chest, feeding the fire. Jaehyun admitted it so readily. Like he had considered it at length.
Was he willing to fix things? Is that why he agreed to come with you? Did he want a chance to make things right?
You shook your head angrily. Stop it, you chided. There’s no future for you and Jaehyun. You’re not good enough for him. You never were. But even the little voice in your head got annoyed with your self-deprecating tone.
Jaehyun offered a mollifying simper when you finally joined him in the living room. Little did he know you were coming to say goodnight and head up to your room, but he didn’t give you the chance. Jaehyun held out his hand and asked, “May I have a dance?”
The song playing from the record was old, full of static. The woman singing hit each low note with an airy, distant tone indicative of the early decades of the past century. Jaehyun was a lover of the classics. It was endearing. Just like everything else about him.
Damn it. You could never say no to an opportunity to dance with him.
You grinned, grateful to him for trying to clear the tension again, and quickly crouched into a little faux curtsy. Jaehyun chuckled and returned your gesture with a bow, pulling you close the moment you took his hand.
Jaehyun shuffled languidly before the hearth, leading you with him. Your hand was light on his shoulder, the other wrapped around his fingers, and you flushed at his palm pressed firmly to the small of your back.
You breathed him in. Jaehyun always smelled good. Just enough cologne to not be overwhelming. There was still a faint trace of the scent of coffee on him and it suited him more than anything else.
Jaehyun fought a smile when you rested your head on his shoulder. He knew you were exhausted, but he couldn’t stand the idea of going to bed angry or conflicted. He wanted to clear the air for your sake.
“You are an old soul,” you told him softly and with affection.
“So are you.”
You quipped, “I was a reindeer in my past life. Remember?”
Jaehyun laughed. A bottle of rum had led to him coming to that conclusion on a long night spent together in January. You laughed until your ribs hurt and Jaehyun had quickly seized the opportunity to tickle your sides and kiss your neck.
Your smile was wide at the sound of his laugh and you were relieved to hide it in the crook of his neck. He felt so good; his body against yours. He definitely felt thicker than before. Probably from putting in extra hours at the gym with Johnny. You felt small in his big arms, tucked away and safe from any harm. All you knew was warmth.
Jaehyun swayed back and forth, releasing your fingers to overlap both his hands behind your back.
You wanted to cry. The tears were threatening, burning. You held Jaehyun a little tighter like he was your anchor to the earth. He felt like home, even more than the mountains around you. And that was downright heresy.
Jaehyun leaned his head against yours. He could feel your body tensing up. Why did we fall apart, baby? We shouldn’t have given up, he thought sadly. How can two people who love each other as much as we do lose it all?
You shuddered a little, quickly rubbing a fist at your cheek to catch an escaping tear.
Jaehyun pulled back, looking into your face, and asked worriedly, “Why are you crying?”
You shook your head, quickly hiding in the crook of his neck again, and whispered, “It hurts.”
Jaehyun smoothed a hand down your back in comfort. Then, he pressed his lips to your temple, lingering.
The gesture made you crazy. Why did he have to be sweet and gentle with you? It was the last thing you deserved. You peered up at him, eyes full of tears, and you made a noise of surprise when he leaned in and kissed you.
Jaehyun was losing his mind. It felt too right, being there with you. Once upon a time, you were his and he was yours. Now, holding you in his arms where you belonged, Jaehyun realized the love and longing he had for you was hitting him a thousand fold.
You kissed him back. Nothing made sense except for how badly you wanted him. You had loved him deeply - as a friend and a partner and everything in between. Feelings like that didn’t just go away overnight. Or after months apart, apparently. No matter how much distance you had put between yourself and Jaehyun, it seemed like nothing had changed at all.
Jaehyun captured your lips hotly, cupping your head and deepening the kiss. Drowning in you was too easy. He kissed you over and over again, hands tugging at your hips to keep you flush against him.
You were lost in the moment, too tangled in how he made you feel to worry about any consequences. Why was this so comfortable? Why were you kissing him like it was the easiest thing in the world?
I walked away. Was I stupid? Was I just insecure? No, I made that choice. I agonized over it. I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to leave him. I was so tired. Even as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him with nothing short of unbridled desire and passion, your head and your heart were at war again.
Jaehyun grunted lowly when you broke away from him, wet lips parting from his with a loud pop. He searched your face with concern and surprise, wondering what he had done wrong, scared that he crossed an invisible line.
“Goodnight, Jaehyun,” you murmured, tears in your eyes, and turned away.
“Goodnight,” he said a moment later, watching you climb the stairs in obvious retreat. Not until the door of your room shut with a bang did Jaehyun run a hand through his hair and curse under his breath, “Fuck.”
You crawled into bed and hid yourself beneath the blankets, forbidding Jaehyun from your mind and all the emotions that came with kissing him. Sleep was the only solace you could find, but Jaehyun appeared even in your dreams.
The next morning, you slept almost until noon. A quick glance at your windows made you grin like a child on Christmas morning. Snow had blanketed everything in white. The light was blinding, reflecting off the ice as if the sun was frozen underneath.
When you finally roused yourself, knotting the fluffy bathrobe tightly around you, you found Jaehyun predictably in the kitchen.
“Good morning,” he greeted warmly. By his clean shaven face and still damp hair, he was fresh out of a shower. He was dressed in a comfortable long sleeve shirt and his favorite argyle pajama pants.
Never had a grown man looked so downright cuddleable.
“Morning,” you replied, still groggy. “Sleep well?”
“Very well. Thanks. And I can tell by your eyes that you did, too.”
You smiled bashfully. It was true. You slept like a baby and the only thing you remembered of your dreams was his handsome face. Damn him. Coming around the kitchen counter to see what he was doing, you asked, “What are you making?”
Jaehyun huffed loudly and said, “I’m starving and running on an apple. Decided to make some sandwiches.”
“Sounds yummy,” you murmured, licking your lips at all the choices of meat and cheese and veggies he’d scattered across the counter. “Can I help?”
You made lunch together in comfortable silence. Save for a ‘thank you’ or ‘excuse me’ here and there. Part of you expected a rift leftover from the night before, but it seemed both you and Jaehyun had wordlessly agreed to act like the kiss never happened.
For the moment anyway.
Mark, despite your ire toward his obnoxious and meddlesome ass, could always be counted upon to have the cabinets stuffed with chips. You and Jaehyun shared a bag as you ate your sandwiches in the nook by the window.
After eating, you slipped back to your room to brush your teeth and dress in clothes ideal for going out in the snow. You checked your phone and ever predictable, Mark texted you in search of an update. Specifically to ask if you and Jaehyun had jumped each other’s bones yet.
Fuck off, you replied with vitriol, tossing your phone onto the bed and leaving it behind.
Jaehyun sat by the fireplace, playing on his phone as his selection of music filled the room. The song was almost as depressing as you felt. Jaehyun glanced up from the screen to give yet another awkward smile, which you returned, and this time when you put on your coat and boots and stepped outside, he didn’t follow.
You folded your arms tightly across your chest after the first gust of wind swept into you, attempting to knock you over. Your boots sank into the fresh layer of soft snow as you traipsed toward the pier. But the cold was sharp and you decided to stay on the shore where it wasn’t as brutal. There was a small bench and you brushed away snow to make a spot for yourself, sitting down contentedly.
Jaehyun let go a sigh, standing at the window. His mind hadn’t stopped racing since the kiss. You kissed him back. You leaned into him and held him tight. Did that mean you still wanted him?
Did you still love him?
“You probably want to be left alone,” Jaehyun spoke aloud, shifting his weight. The sight of you by your lonesome on the little bench made his heart sad. His first instinct was to protect you. Always.
One breath in and one breath out. You were hoping the cold would freeze your traitorous brain. Your mind was playing the memory of dancing with Jaehyun on repeat. Your pulse still startled at the reminder of his kisses. And no matter how hard you tried to think of something else, you just couldn’t.
You don’t love him anymore. It’s over.
You thought of his soft hands on your waist and how tenderly he kissed your head, how sweetly he wiped away your tears. Does he love me? Or am I just some wounded animal he feels sorry for?
The cold and your reveries became too much and you made for the house. When you saw Jaehyun perched in the window, your heart skipped a beat.
“Hey,” Jaehyun greeted.
“Hi,” you returned, shrugging out of your coat.
Jaehyun approached and asked with caution, “Are we gonna talk about last night?”
It was obviously bothering him. You rubbed your arms nervously and replied, “I don’t know what to say.”
Jaehyun frowned. He had plenty. “I just didn’t want to read into anything.”
You shrugged. “It was a kiss, Jaehyun. I wanted it. Did you?”
Of course, he did. He instigated it. He had pressed his lips to yours without a second thought. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I saw you,” Jaehyun confessed, his voice lowering.
You dropped your gaze to the floor. Something you couldn’t explain was rising up in your chest. You could feel the tension building up in the room again. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” you whimpered, rubbing your brow.
“And what was supposed to happen?” Jaehyun asked, saying your name sadly.
You looked at him with pity.
Jaehyun bristled. “Were we just gonna sleep in the same bed? Were we gonna kiss by the lake? Just how far were we gonna go to convince your parents that we’re still in love?”
I am still in love with you. “I don’t know,” you replied honestly, voice trembling. “I just knew I couldn’t face them. I couldn’t face anyone with how badly I blew this relationship.”
Jaehyun recoiled. “Is that what you think - that you blew this relationship?”
Fighting was the last thing you wanted. You and Jaehyun just weren’t good at fighting each other.
You threw up your hands, exasperated, and snapped, “What do you want me to say?”
“I want the truth.”
“The truth doesn’t change anything.”
“Is that why you came up here? You wanted to hash this out,” you questioned, feeling a little betrayed, but not the least surprised.
Jaehyun was scathing. “I came here because you asked me to and I owed you a favor.” And I care about you.
That only stung more. You lashed out, “Seriously, Jaehyun. What do you want from me?”
“Not a goddamn thing,” he hissed, shaking his head in reproach.
You watched him go, hurt welling inside of you.
Jaehyun retreated to Mark’s room, slamming the door shut behind him. “Fuck,” he groaned, plopping down at the edge of the bed. It seemed you and he were still no good at fighting each other.
You crouched by the fireplace, tossing in more wood. Then, you shifted your attention to the kitchen, opening the fridge once or twice, tempted to down the white wine inside. The pressure in your chest was smothering.
Bristling, you went outside. Alone; that’s what I need. I just need to be left alone. Stop making me revisit these feelings. I have no good reason for walking away. Don’t make me justify it when it never even made sense to me.
Traipsing on the pier, you slid onto the ice intentionally, spinning around in a circle on the slippery surface. You knew the lake like the back of your hand, ever since you were a kid. Some people may have given respect to the danger of dancing on ice that hid fatally cold water underneath, but not you.
Grumbling under your breath, you pulled your jacket close and tried to ward off the thoughts still racing through your mind. What went wrong? That was the question you had. Hell, it was the first thing Mark asked when you told him you ended things with Jaehyun.
Even Jaehyun looked in the mirror after you left him and asked himself, “What did I do wrong?”
Despite the things you had in common, it wasn’t enough to offset where you were different. Incompatibility was what drove the wedge in your relationship. Jaehyun wanted complacency and routine. You needed passion and spontaneity.
Worst of all, you blamed your inadequacies and his lack thereof. Jaehyun was perfect. He was good at everything he tried and patient with everyone he met. When he walked into a room, the lights burned a little brighter.
You were reckless and clumsy. Hard work substituted raw talent. With Jaehyun, you always had to be at peak performance. You felt you constantly had to prove you were worthy of him. It was exhausting. You were perpetually fighting a monster that you had created entirely in your own head.
So when things began to crumble, you had no energy left to work things out with the man you loved. You were already tired and so you accepted defeat before the battle even began.
Meanwhile, Jaehyun had never fought for anything in his entire life. He was lucky in love and everything else. Doors opened for him without resistance. So when you walked away, he didn’t give chase. It wasn’t in his nature.
He blamed himself. Assumed he had done something wrong and thus deserved the loss of your love. Things had a way of working themselves out, right? Jaehyun was a firm believer in letting things happen as they are meant to happen.
You blew out a breath. There was a tiny shift in the ice beneath your boot, but you paid it no mind. You were too distracted.
Jaehyun could hardly believe his eyes when he saw you ambling over the ice. She really is fearless, he snipped with envy. Not him. He was borderline afraid of everything. Afraid of messing up. Afraid of making the wrong decisions. Terrified of regret.
You started to settle down when a voice abruptly yelled out your name behind you. Turning around, you saw Jaehyun coming toward you, striding across the pier until he wasn’t far from where you stood on the ice.
Jaehyun began, “I don’t know what I was thinking… coming up here.”
You shot back, “I don’t know why I asked you.”
Jaehyun glared, angered by that response. He hissed your name and snapped, “You know what? I came here because I wanted to see you, because I wanted to see if there was any chance we could make things right.”
You bit back the tears. Even after all these months, he still hadn’t let go. And neither had you.
Jaehyun softened, his voice beginning to tremble from the cold, “Because I haven’t slept since you left. I haven’t smiled since you left. I’ve spent days and weeks trying to get over you and I can’t.”
You cried, “Then, why didn’t you come after me? When I left, you didn’t ask me to stay.”
Jaehyun knew that was his fault. It weighed on him heavily. “I thought you hated me. I thought I must have done something unforgivable for you to walk away from me. After everything we promised each other.”
Jaehyun tilted his head, his heart on the line. “Last night, you kissed me. Do you still have feelings for me?”
You pinched your lips together. There was yet another waver in the surface under your feet, but it failed to register.
When you didn’t answer, he pressed, “Yes or no?”
Yes. A million times yes. You were in denial until he kissed you. Now, there was no denying it.
Suddenly, you heard a sharp crack and the blood drained from your face. Turning on your heels, you started toward him and screamed, “Jay, go back - the ice!”
The words had barely left your mouth before the ground gave way beneath your feet. Your yell was cut off when you hit the water, captured in a bone-crushing current of subzero temperature. Your fingers numbed in less than a second and all you could do was beat your arms on the impenetrable surface above you.
The lake swallowed you, swept you away. You could vaguely hear yourself screaming. Shadows danced across your vision. Then, everything faded violently to black. It was like going to sleep in a cocoon of water and darkness.
An eternity passed before light burst behind your eyes and water sputtered out of your mouth.
“Thank you, god,” Jaehyun cried out, cradling your face and turning your head as you continued to cough up water.
Dull pain rang out in your chest and you whimpered. Before you could speak, Jaehyun hoisted you into his arms and dragged you with him into the house as if you weighed nothing.
You were shaking so hard you were borderline convulsing. Your heart was pounding rapidly, trying to pump blood through your body and replenish your oxygen. Your body was fighting against shutting down.
Jaehyun stopped before the fireplace and pulled off your coat roughly, then his own.
You clung to him out of reflex, body searching for any source of warmth as he jostled you in removing your clothes. “What are you doing?”
Jaehyun met your eyes with a frantic expression and said, “Body heat. I know you’ve heard of hypothermia.”
You gawked at how harsh he breathed, how shakily he spoke. “Right now, all I hear is my teeth chattering,” you replied, convinced your joints were frozen solid.
That was when you noticed he was soaked through his clothes. His hair was plastered to his face, dripping with water. His lips were too dark a shade and his skin was paler than milk.
That idiot actually jumped in after you.
Something snapped inside of you. You quickly mirrored him, pulling your shirt off before unfastening the belt of his jeans as best you could with your numb hands.
The two of you stripped each other to nakedness, not a single thought other than warmth on your minds as you wrapped your arms around each other, chest to chest.
Jaehyun yanked the thickest blanket from the sofa and pulled it close around your bodies. He slowly lowered you to the floor in front of the fire, supporting your head gently. You buried your face beneath his chin and exhaled heavily, warming his skin with your hot breath.
“Thank you. Thank you,” you chanted softly.
Jaehyun shushed you. “Thank me later.”
His hand roughly stroked up and down your bare back, trying to generate more heat. You felt the flick of fire behind you, realizing Jaehyun had put you closer to the fireplace than himself. You tightened your arms and legs around him, determined to warm him with your body if it was the last thing you did.
You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, but when you stirred awake, Jaehyun was soundly resting in your arms. His head was cradled to your naked chest and you were relieved to see his hair had mostly dried.
Sighing in relief, you leaned your temple against his and closed your eyes again.
When Jaehyun woke not long after, the fear finally left him. You were curled in a ball on your side, facing him. Your skin was warm, your breathing steady. He reached forward and brushed the hair back from your brow, running his thumb down your cheek.
You shivered, gravitating toward him. Something tugged you out of your dreams and you opened your eyes slowly, blinking away the haze. You saw Jaehyun looking at you and sighed.
Jaehyun shifted a little as he draped his arm around you, his lips inadvertently brushing your nose, and rasped, “You’re insane. Do you know that?”
“It’s been said,” you deadpanned.
Jaehyun glanced down your body to assure himself you were okay, cheeks flushing at the sight of your naked breasts. He wanted to touch you, caress every inch of you with his fingers and tongue until you only knew fire in your veins. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Jaehyun finally said, “You’ve stopped shaking.”
You nodded, peering up into his warm eyes. The gravity of what happened weighed heavily on you, recognizing how dangerously you danced at death’s door and had almost dragged the love of your life down with you. Tears filled your eyes as you whispered, “I think I’m okay.”
Jaehyun said nothing. He couldn’t find the words.
He sighed, “Don’t mention it.”
You touched his face, tracing your fingers over the curve of his lips, and asked, “Do you still want me?”
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. Of course, he wanted you. He wanted you so badly he couldn’t stand it. “I think I’ll always want you,” he finally said, as if admitting it to himself.
You leaned in without hesitation, sealing your lips to his. The kiss was tender, slow. Like two lovers reuniting after a lifetime apart. Your heart was preparing to burst.
Jaehyun gathered you to his chest and kissed you hungrily. When you hooked your knee on his hip, he palmed down your naked thigh, his hard cock viscerally aware of your warm, naked body against it.
You wished there was music playing in the background. All you could hear was the logs hissing and cracking in the hearth, and the wet smack of your lips meeting. The latter was enough to make you throb.
Jaehyun advanced on you, making a noise when you were finally on your back beneath him. You hummed when his tongue slipped into your mouth and you tangled his hair round your fingers, tugging firmly. Jaehyun couldn’t decide where to keep his hands. They wandered all over you, caressing your breasts, your ribs, your waist.
You whimpered when he thumbed over a nipple. Your buds were stiff at his touch and you kissed him a little harder. Ankles locking behind his back, the press of his thick cock on your lower lips made you arch up against him.
Jaehyun pulled back at your movements, staring into your eyes with lust and longing. “Does Mark have condoms in his room?” he asked, voice low and gravelly.
You never passed up a chance to have a laugh at your obnoxious brother’s expense and joked dryly, “I doubt they would fit you.”
Jaehyun’s face scrunched with laughter and the sound was music to your ears. Needless to say, Jaehyun was big. The first time you took his cock inside you, you were convinced he would tear you in half.
With that thought, your pussy ached and your thighs involuntarily clenched on his hips.
Jaehyun glanced down to see his member resting on your pussy, slick with desire, and whispered under his breath, “Raw?”
You nodded. Though you had been frozen only moments before, now you were burning up. The heat of him was clouding your head - and your judgment - and all you knew was you wanted Jaehyun inside you. Making love to you.
Jaehyun nipped at your lips and taunted, “Say it, baby.”
“Yes,” you panted, running out of patience as you tried to kiss his neck. “Raw and hard.”
Jaehyun snickered darkly and seized your lips again.
You kissed him, insatiable, smirking against his mouth when you felt him getting into position between your thighs. Then, you gasped in surprise when a hand brushed down your belly and cupped your sex.
Jaehyun came to his senses just long enough to ask, “Do I need to pull out?”
You shook your head and said, “I’m still on birth control.”
Jaehyun bit his lip at the thought of coming inside you and watched your face as he raked his fingers between your folds. You gripped his arms, eyes fluttering from him to his hand and back again, like you couldn’t decide where to look. Jaehyun craned down and kissed you just as he pushed a finger into your pussy, satisfied at your wetness and quickly adding another.
“Fuck,” you choked out. Months had passed without his touch and your body was a live wire at finally being pleasured again.
Jaehyun left a parting kiss on the corner of your mouth before sucking a nipple between his lips. The sound of him kissing and tonguing your bud was rivaled only by the wet squelch of your pussy around his digits.
“Oh,” you managed, eyes rolling closed as you undulated beneath him. We’re really doing this, you thought. We can’t bring ourselves to stop.
Jaehyun broke from your chest to whisper your name, sinking his fingers in and out of your pussy. His thumb searched and found your clit, rolling the nub. Ignoring the twitches of his cock, Jaehyun focused on preparing you.
You moaned loudly at his touch, heart pounding. Jaehyun tongued at your bud again, sucking and kissing your breast, and it made your core clench on his digits. Your hips began to bounce. His fingers were drawing you closer to orgasm and you fought it. You didn’t want to come yet. Not until he was inside.
Jaehyun had the same thought and recognized the signs of you near climax. He withdrew his hand and rose to his knees between your legs, grasping your smooth thighs and spreading them apart.
You peered up at him, breathing ragged with anticipation, and watched him steer his cock between your folds. You sank your teeth into your lip, looking at his length. It may have pushed your limits, but it never failed to bring you ecstasy.
Jaehyun prodded your entrance, pushing the head of his cock inside. Then, he grasped your hips and slowly coaxed himself further.
“Jaehyun,” you whimpered and moaned, reaching down to grasp his arms. It was a tight fit and you could never forget how it felt to stretch around him.
“Relax, baby,” he crooned, easing himself back and forth until you opened up for him. “Let me in.”
You cried out when he finally seated deep inside, but his lips on yours cut the sound short. Jaehyun kissed you endlessly, his hands palming your breasts, arms wrapping around you. You filled with pleasure. For the moment, he was all you could feel.
There wasn’t much you got right in your relationship with Jaehyun, but this? Yes.
Jaehyun started to move, pistoning himself inside you with his balls flush against your folds. He loved giving it to you deep, fucking your womb full of cum. You were a velvet vice on his thick cock, so tight it made his back arch.
You moaned softly, “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too, baby,” Jaehyun replied, kissing beneath your ear.
You sucked in a breath when Jaehyun thrust into you a little harder. Lifting your legs, draping your knees over his thighs, you closed your eyes and let him bury his cock in your wet pussy again and again.
Jaehyun propped up on his fists and fucked you, languid and hard. Your breasts bounced with every thrust of his hips and Jaehyun couldn’t help but cup them in his broad hands. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he rasped, throttling into you even harder just to watch your body shudder.
You gazed up at him and ran your tongue across your teeth. You loved feeling stuffed full of his cock, filled like only he could fill you.
Jaehyun quickened his pace. Your hot cunt had him on the verge of losing his mind. And his restraint. He wanted this to last, but he was already on borrowed time. Too long spent without you. Too many nights spent fucking his own hand to thoughts of you. Only you.
And now here you were, moaning beneath him. Taking his cock like a champ as you always did. The rapture on your face was enough to make any man come undone. Yeah, that’s right, baby, he thought. You may hate me, but you love that dick.
You wanted to laugh. Never did you imagine you would be laid bare before the fireplace with Jaehyun’s hard cock inside you. Yet here you were.
Jaehyun moaned and the sound made your toes curl. He clenched his jaw, grit his teeth. His cock was twitching, warning him that he was about to pump you full of his load. “I’m close,” he stammered.
“I don’t care if I come,” you told him, eyes glazed with lust. “I just want to feel you.”
Jaehyun growled, “You’re gonna come.”
You gripped the rug beneath you hard, back arching off the floor. The slap of his body against yours echoed through the room, the telltale wet slap of hot sex.
Jaehyun moved faster, his breaths loud and heavy. He propped himself over you again and grabbed your throat, coiling his fingers around your neck.
You looked at him through hooded eyes, raking your nails down his chest before grasping his wrist. This was the Jaehyun you knew. The quiet old soul was your dominant partner in the bedroom. It was a dynamic you never knew you needed.
And couldn’t live without.
“Jaehyun,” you sighed, submissive.
Jaehyun pumped his cock into you harder, your pussy tightening on him each time he pushed back in. “Touch yourself,” was all he said.
Without another thought except climax on your mind, you let go of his wrist. With one hand, you cupped your breast and pinched your nipple, while the other traveled further south and rolled your clit.
“Can I come inside?” He needed to hear it again.
You purred without missing a beat, “Come in me. Please, baby. I need it.”
That always did the trick.
Jaehyun groaned and smacked his hips into yours, his hand around your throat keeping you in place. He started to pant, sweat dripping down his face with the effort, and the sight of you pleasuring yourself while his cock buried in and out of you finished him.
When you reached climax at last, you gripped the blanket beneath you with both hands, crying out in ecstasy as Jaehyun fucked his length into your swollen pussy. You shuddered and swore, his grip on your neck tightening when you tried to curl away from the stimulation.
Jaehyun moaned, emptying himself into you whilst you kneaded and pulsed around him. He thrust into you hard, milking his cock in your warm cunt and rubbed his thumb soothingly over your bottom lip with how well you took him.
You whimpered when he landed on you, smoothing your hands up and down his back. His softening cock stayed nestled inside of you and you could feel his cum mingling with your wet release.
So that happened. Jaehyun finally lifted his head and rasped, “Hi.”
You snickered. “Hi.”
Jaehyun leaned in and kissed you. You hummed softly as his lips trailed across your neck. His kisses were slow, soft; like they took every ounce of energy he had left.
The wood crackled and popped in the fireplace beside you. I’ll never be able to look at it the same way again, you thought, chagrined.
Slipping his spent cock from your folds, Jaehyun guided you to rest on him and stroked his fingertips up and down your bare side. Your head rose and fell with his chest, centered squarely over his racing heart.
After catching your breath, you cooed, “We should go upstairs.”
That was all he needed to hear. Without a word, Jaehyun got to his feet. You stared at him in all his naked glory, licking your lips with another surge of lust at the sight of his half-hard cock.
Jaehyun promptly reached down and swept you into his arms. You giggled in surprise, draping your arms across his shoulders and covering the base of his neck in kisses. Jaehyun carried you up to the bedroom and tossed you onto the mattress hard enough that you bounced.
Before you could complain (though it would have been anything but sincere), Jaehyun was on you, peppering your cheeks and neck with kisses. All you could do was grin at the featherlight touch of his lips, their affection tickling your skin.
Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you, crushing your smaller frame in his grasp. You carded both hands into his hair, damp with sweat. His lips were soft on your jaw, but his breaths were labored.
You reached between your bodies and grasped his stiff cock, pumping it in your fist. Jaehyun sucked in a breath through his teeth, abs tightening when you teased your hand around the head of his dick.
“Fuck me,” you whispered, staring up at him.
Jaehyun nipped at your lips playfully, watching you spread your legs underneath him. He could feel his cock twitching already; you made him out of his mind with desire.
“Please,” you crooned when he didn’t move, peering up at him innocently. “Jaehyun…”
Without warning, Jaehyun grabbed your waist and flipped you onto your stomach. He pushed your legs apart, making room for his knees, and draped himself over you.
You gripped the comforter with both hands, readying yourself, and moaned when he pushed his cock inside. Swollen with release, the rings of muscle in your core gripped him with delight at being filled again.
Jaehyun set a rough and rapid pace that had you seeing stars. He wrapped a hand around your neck, his lips wet on your cheek, and growled, “Good girl. Take that cock.”
You cried out, sinking your nails into his arms for dear life. Something vaguely similar to his name left your mouth. Jaehyun was ramming his length into your cunt and you were on the verge of combusting. The sounds you made were enough to make you cover your face in shame.
Jaehyun adjusted his hold on your body and pounded into you, bouncing you down to meet his thrusts. The bed creaked, the headboard slamming against the wall, and Jaehyun smirked when he realized he didn’t have to worry about making too much noise. You were moaning like a whore, chanting his name, and he couldn’t have been happier.
You sank your teeth into the blanket, stifling your sounds. Jaehyun’s hips smacked into your ass with a loud clap and his hands were unforgiving on your waist. You could feel the fire rising in your core again, tension gathering at the apex of your thighs.
“Fuck! Oh, god,” you shouted, toes curling at the peak of your orgasm.
Jaehyun groaned with satisfaction at your release and chuckled smugly, kissing across your shoulders and combing your hair out of the way with a tenderness that bemused you. He grinded into you slowly, coaxing you through your high.
You went slack on the mattress, panting. His kisses on your neck were maddening and you quickly pushed at his arms, wriggling your way out from underneath him.
Jaehyun blinked in surprise when his cock slipped out of you and started, “What are you…”
You pressed both hands to his chest and pushed, unsatisfied until he was flat on his back. Jaehyun grinned as you straddled him, his dimples on full display, and you steered his cock back to your entrance before sinking down on him.
Jaehyun licked his lips and stared up at you in worship, clasping your hips in his hands.
You bounced yourself up and down his cock, teasing your fingertips down his chiseled abs and over his nipples. Riding him went straight to your head. You felt powerful as you gave him pleasure. You enjoyed being the only one to get those noises out of him.
When Jaehyun was on top or from behind, he had all of the control. He could last and stave off orgasm for as long as he wanted. But when you were riding the soul out of him - as you were at the moment - it was all he could do not to bust the moment you sank down on his hard cock.
Jaehyun grabbed your ass roughly, enough to send a loud slap reverberating through the room, and groaned, “Slow down. I’m gonna come.”
You leaned in closer, nipping at his lips, and steadily rocked against him. “I want you to come. I want you to come so hard you can’t see straight.”
Jaehyun bit his lip, pupils blown wide.
Kissing the corner of his mouth, you sat up again and quickened your pace. You made sure to tighten your walls on him each time he sheathed inside of you.
The veins in his neck were bulging. Jaehyun gripped your waist so tightly you could feel the bruises forming beneath his fingertips.
You loved the sight of him beneath you. He was so gorgeous it infuriated you. Especially when he was fucked out.
Jaehyun finally released his lip from his teeth and his mouth gaped open. A moan escaped him and the sound made your walls pulse. “Baby, I’m coming. Fuck,” he warned, his voice weak.
“Do it,” you retorted, pressing your fingers into his chest to the point of bruising and bouncing your hips even faster to finish him off. “Fill me up.”
Jaehyun swore in his mother tongue and reached for you quicker than you could blink, trapping you against him. You buried your face in his chest and cried out as he thrust into you from beneath, his rhythm brutal and fast.
“Jaehyun,” you rasped, whimpering.
His arms around you were a vice, his hand at the nape of your neck pinning you to him. Jaehyun drove his hips into yours, bottoming out and releasing with a moan.
When he finally stilled, you slumped onto him and your breaths staggered out, warming his skin beneath your parted lips.
Jaehyun rose, holding you in his arms and carefully lowering you to the bed. He left a kiss on the corner of your mouth and brushed his lips over your neck, and whispered, “I love you.”
Your heart skipped a beat, ice threatening to fill your veins. The fire your bodies had made was already beginning to ebb. Cold was licking at your skin, trying to find its place in your chest once more.
Jaehyun rolled to his back and ran a hand down his face. Fuck, it was too good. He wanted to indulge in your body endlessly.
You scurried to the bathroom, cleaning yourself up. The soreness between your thighs forced a tiny sound from your lips. You splashed cold water on your face, trying to make sense of it all. What it meant; how you and he would feel in the morning.
There was a knock at the door and you opened with a shyness that was obviously misplaced.
Jaehyun peered inside, gave a flirtatious smile and murmured, “Mind if I run a bath?”
“That would be amazing,” you replied, proceeding to put up your hair. The ache in the core of your body emphatically agreed.
Next thing you knew, you were sitting between his legs in the hot bath, your shoulders back on his chest and your eyes closed. Jaehyun had his arms around your waist, his head leaning against the rim of the tub.
You felt like falling asleep. It would be all too easy with the warmth of the water and the soft cushion that was his body at your back. But you felt a familiar hardness and sleep predictably became the furthest thing on your mind.
Jaehyun kissed the side of your head and then your neck. You hummed quietly, sinking even deeper into his arms. When he palmed at your sex, you lifted your hips, straddled his thighs, and took him inside you again with a moan that echoed off the tiles.
By the time you collapsed next to Jaehyun in the bed, you were both exhausted and completely devoid of energy. Jaehyun tugged you close, draping the blanket over your shoulders, and you clung to him like he was the only thing that could mend your broken heart.
Which wasn’t far from the truth.
The next morning, you woke feeling more tired than rested. Slipping out from under him, you quietly dressed and brushed through your messy hair.
You escaped to the kitchen, making a fresh pot of hot coffee. Jaehyun would appreciate it, you knew, and you hoped it would help rouse you.
I really slept with him, like a total glutton for punishment, you mused, shaking your head as you put the coffee mug to your lips.
The patter of bare feet alerted you to his presence. Jaehyun sported another set of comfortable pajamas. His hair was disheveled, but his skin was still as perfect as ever. There was a mischief in his eyes, as if his mind was constantly replaying the night’s escapades, and a smirk on his lips for the same reason.
“Good morning,” he greeted, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek before gliding past you to the cupboard.
It ripped your heart out. You were back in that place again, like nothing had changed even though everything was different. “Morning,” you finally remembered to reply.
Jaehyun noticed your cup of coffee and poured himself one. Leaning back against the counter, he eyed you. Beneath your clothes were a number of bruises that were a testament to his passion. He hadn’t meant to be so rough, but the excitement and eagerness of drowning in your body after so long had gotten the best of him. “Are you okay?”
Jaehyun asked, “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” you replied with a shake of your head. “I’m okay.”
Jaehyun breathed a little easier in relief.
You watched him nervously. I can’t go through this again. I can’t deal with that heartbreak again, you thought bitterly. Damn it, I was finally starting to get over him.
Jaehyun plopped down in the nook by the kitchen, sipping his coffee and waiting for it to give him the kick of energy he needed after such a long night.
Your eyes followed him, fixated. No, that’s not true. Everything inside you knew that wasn’t true. You had never gotten over him. You loved him just as much today as you did the night your relationship ended.
Jaehyun had no clue about the war churning inside your head. Had he known, he would have tried to put those doubts and fears to rest. Though it wouldn’t have done much good.
Your voice trembled, “Did you say you love me?”
Jaehyun’s brow furrowed. Something was off in your tone and it nearly startled him how quickly you had shifted. “When?”
You stiffened. “You know when.”
Jaehyun exhaled loudly, almost rolling his eyes. “What do you want me to say?”
“That it’s not true,” you spoke timidly, full of remorse. “That you didn’t mean to say it.”
His eyes flashed with anger. “You want me to lie?”
“Fine,” Jaehyun snapped. “It was the sex talking.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you.”
Jaehyun decided in the moment he couldn’t stand to be in the same room with you. He couldn’t look at you, couldn’t deal with you. Fury consumed him from head to toe. He rose, huffing, “Jesus.”
You watched him stomp away from you and you tensed with tears. It was selfish and cruel.
No sooner had a tear rolled down your cheek, Jaehyun stormed back into the room and snapped, “Why the hell am I doing what you want?”
You parted your lips to question him. Suddenly he was standing before you with the anger of a man that had finally had enough of being without you.
“Why did you leave?”
You shook your head.
Jaehyun grabbed you by the arms and roared, “Why did you leave me when you loved me - when we loved each other?”
You cried, “Because I don’t want to love you.”
Fuck you, Jaehyun screamed in his own head. He let you go, stiffening with the pain of a broken heart, and marched to his bedroom, slamming the door.
You stood in the kitchen by yourself and mulled. It’s too good to be true. We can’t just pick up where we left off. With that, you slipped away for a hot shower to wash off the shame.
Around lunchtime, the sound of a car sent your adrenaline on edge. You leapt out of your chair, racing to the front door and peering out the window. At the sight of Mark’s black Dodge, you yanked on your boots and rushed outside.
“Hi, sunshine,” your brother greeted, flashing a big smile as he pulled out a duffle bag to hang from his shoulder.
“Mark…,” you started, folding your arms to ward off the morning cold. But also in defiance. And definitely annoyance. Your brother was sitting squarely on the full spectrum of your negative emotions.
Mark took one look at you and laughed. “Oh, you guys totally hooked up, didn’t you?”
You narrowed your eyes at him and grumbled, “Aren’t brothers supposed to defend their sister’s virtues?”
“Whatever,” Mark said, sidestepping around you and through the open front door.
You followed him, shutting the door behind you.
Mark dropped his bag loudly and whipped around, continuing, “You’ve been unbearable since the breakup. I could only assume that without Jaehyun laying down dick on the regular, you were suffering from some serious sexual frustration.”
“Or maybe it was heartbreak,” you barked, discovering new unfound levels of irritation with your sibling. “Ever heard of that?”
Mark shrugged out of his coat and gave you a sympathetic expression, toning himself down. “Of course. Chill out and try not to hate me, will you? I only had your best interests in mind.”
That made tears prick your eyes, like he had ripped off the bandaid on a fresh cut, and you didn’t try to hide it. Pain was evident on your face and in your voice. “And now I’m right back where I was. Heartsick over a boy I can’t have.”
Mark grabbed your arm, attempting to pull you into a hug. He spoke as if he were consoling an upset child, “Why not? Why can’t you have him?”
It was all you could do not to bury your face in his chest and cry until you finally got all the tears out. The tears you had been fighting back for months. Pushing him away, you sneered vehemently, “Leave me alone, Mark. I hope you’re happy.”
Mark frowned, his eyes on your back. He scratched his head, deciding that he had royally fucked up. Then, he looked to the stairs and saw Jaehyun sitting near the top. “Great,” he groaned. “How much did you hear?”
Everything. “Enough,” Jaehyun answered calmly, “Let’s go.”
“If you’re gonna kick my ass at least let me put my shoes back on.”
Jaehyun chuckled. “Maybe later. For now, let’s give her some space. Come talk to me.”
Mark scratched his head again, nervous. “I appreciate you sparing my life.”
“Don’t push it,” said Jaehyun, clapping Mark on the shoulder. It was the closest thing to a hug the younger boy would get. All things considered.
The study was a dark nook in the house, tucked away in a corner. The books were old and dusty. No one had the heart to touch them since your grandfather died.
Mark and Jaehyun dropped into a pair of chairs situated around a chess board. There was an unfinished match left to gather dust.
“Tell me how bad I’ve fucked up,” Mark started.
“No more than I have,” Jaehyun deadpanned.
You had decided you weren’t finished with your brother, ready to give him a huge fucking piece of your mind. Coming to the study door, you stopped yourself from opening it when you heard voices.
“Alright, dude,” Mark said, rubbing at his tired eyes. “What went wrong? Give me a breakdown. Why aren’t you gonna be my brother-in-law?”
Jaehyun sank a little lower in the chair, wringing his hands pensively between his legs, and replied, “She shut me out, Mark. I couldn’t reach her anymore. We were sleeping in the same bed, but it felt like she was worlds away from me.”
That made you feel like someone had socked you in the stomach.
“Damn,” Mark sighed. It was worse than he anticipated.
Jaehyun let his eyes fall. You were on his mind now and that sent an aching pain straight to his heart. “Our relationship was easy. We were so in love and happy. It really was too good to be true.”
Mark listened intently. He was now more determined than ever to mend the divide between you and Jaehyun.
“Then, it turned into work. Like all relationships do eventually. We fought and we had never fought before. It was like we didn’t know how to handle each other anymore and neither of us wanted to deal with conflict.”
Mark nodded his understanding and said, “So nothing ever got fixed and it just started piling on. That’s why you can’t ignore shit. You have to deal with it in order to move on.”
Jaehyun almost smiled. He always liked Mark. Despite being younger, Mark had a lot of wisdom in different areas. He was easy to talk to, never passed judgment, and honestly just wanted the best for everyone.
You were thinking the same thing. Mark was right.
“Exactly,” Jaehyun continued. “And I guess, we didn’t want to do that or we just didn’t know how.”
Jaehyun sighed. “Mark, you and I both know we can’t. Things went too far, past the point of no return. You can’t just wipe the slate clean when it’s covered in wounds.”
Mark shrugged. “Who says you can’t?”
“She doesn’t want that.”
“And how do you know that?”
Jaehyun frowned, his expression sad. “She told me.”
Mark rubbed his brow, setting his jaw with a flicker of annoyance. You baffled him and he was absolutely going to confront you after this conversation.
Little did he know, you kept listening in.
“She told me she doesn’t want to love me. She wants to move on,” Jaehyun said, like the words physically pained him. “Let her.”
Mark shook his head in frustration and murmured, “I know she’s gonna regret it. If she doesn’t already.”
I do, you thought, pinching your lips together. All this time you had blamed yourself for the relationship falling apart. Now you knew Jaehyun felt the same way. He took responsibility when you felt he didn’t have to.
The only difference was Jaehyun tried. When things fell apart, he tried to mend them. When you walked away, he tried to leave the door open for you to come back.
Meanwhile, all you ever did was freeze him out.
“I love her. I think I always will,” Jaehyun said, more so to himself. “I didn’t know what love was until I fell in love with her.”
Mark felt terrible, like he had betrayed the people he cared about most, and apologized, “I’m sorry, hyung. I’m really sorry I rubbed salt in all of these wounds.”
Jaehyun could never hold animosity toward Mark. He was too good-hearted and even when he fucked up, he meant well. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body. Smiling faintly in comfort, Jaehyun replied, “It’s fine. I think we needed to see it. Once and for all. Now, we can finally move on with our lives.”
You lowered your head, arms folded tightly across your chest. I don’t want that, you told yourself. I don’t want you to move on without me. I wanted to share my life with you. I still do. I know that now. Or maybe I’ve always known and now I can finally admit it.
When Jaehyun and Mark rose, you quickly scurried away, retreating into your room. You expected Mark to come banging on your door, but he never did. Mark had decided you were hopeless, beyond help.
Nothing anyone said or did would convince you, except yourself. For the moment, Mark would help Jaehyun and leave you to stew in your own bullshit.
Suddenly, someone knocked on your door. You leapt up to answer, expecting your brother, and felt the blood drain from your face when Jaehyun stepped in.
You exchanged looks; hurt, anger, regret. All of the above.
“I’m leaving,” Jaehyun announced, setting down the bag in his hand and approaching you.
You met him the rest of the way, shoulders slumping in defeat. “May I ask why?”
Of course, you already knew why. You knew it intimately. But you needed to hear what he had to say.
If he had anything left to say to you at all.
Jaehyun exhaled and answered, “I can’t fake it. I’m in love with you and I can’t… go around pretending to be happy when I’ve never been so miserable.”
Your eyes clouded with tears and you rubbed your arms. The room felt colder. “I’m really sorry,” you whimpered.
“I know and I forgive you. We didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Quivering, you peered up at him and cried, “Please don’t hate me.”
Jaehyun folded, taking you in his arms and wiping your tears with his thumb. “I could never hate you, baby,” he whispered tenderly, trying to keep his voice level. “But I can’t let you have me anymore.”
You nodded in acceptance, meeting his eyes.
Jaehyun cradled your face and pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth. You melted into him, your body wanting him more than anything. Then, he pulled away.
When his hands slipped from you, you stiffened, shaking off the hurt as best you could. You knew this was the last time. The door would shut forever. Jaehyun wouldn’t take your calls again or send you an occasional text to see how you were doing.
No, this was the end for him. He was finally letting go so he could move on.
You watched him grab his suitcase and you called after him, “Have a safe trip home. Give Peaches a kiss for me, please.”
“Will do,” he said curtly, and you knew he would. “Goodbye.”
When the door shut behind him, you were rooted in place. A moment later, you could hear Jaehyun and Mark saying their farewells. When the voices died down, you came out and took the stairs quickly, pressing to the front door and looking out the window.
The hired car was waiting. Jaehyun lugged his suitcase with him as he slid into the backseat. And like a heartsick idiot, you watched the car disappear down the road.
Footsteps behind you pulled you away and Mark predictably glared. “I really don’t understand you, you know.”
You scowled, obstinate. “Get in line.”
Mark scoffed and left you to your thoughts.
You meandered for a place to sulk. The fireplace was unwelcoming. All you could think about was being naked in Jaehyun’s arms before the hearth. God knows you couldn’t retreat to your bedroom, not when Jaehyun had made love to you there, too.
Your eyes wandered to the kitchen. Even worse. You thought about the cups of hot cocoa you shared with Jaehyun and the way he made you laugh. And needless to say, the living room was out of the question. You could still hear the static of the record player when you and Jaehyun danced.
The whole house was tainted. There was nowhere to escape.
“I’m going outside,” you shouted, pulling on your jacket and shoving through the back door before Mark could contest.
Not that he would. Mark was too busy being irritated.
You trudged to the pier, forcing away the memories of broken ice and glacial water. But your head knew only Jaehyun. His wet hair, his flushed face, his swollen lips. The feeling of his arms around your waist. His breath on your neck. The look on his face when your vision came into focus after he pulled you from the ice.
I’m losing my mind, you thought in distress. Winter bird was too fitting a nickname for me. I’ve been here, alone in winter, freezing to death. You came along and melted me. Now, I’m winter again, but it’s not the same because I’ve known how it felt to be warm. And I want that feeling back.
At the end of the pier, you dropped to your knees and started to cry. It hurt too much. You couldn’t stand it. You cried until there were no more tears left, until you had grieved over time lost and for the years that would go by without Jaehyun in your memories.
And when you finally had enough, you took a deep breath of mountain air and felt - ironically and surprisingly - better. You chuckled. All the vitriol and regret and blame you’d been harboring in your chest was gone. You let it out and let it go, digging up the venom you’d kept burying and setting it free.
You finally felt a little better. Sometimes all you need is a good cry.
Rocking back on your butt, you propped your arms on your knees and took in the view. Your favorite place in the world still smiled down at you. Sitting in the silence was healing the rifts in your chest. Yes, it was cold, but the blazing sun never allowed the chill to overwhelm you.
There was something about the sky above. It was crystal blue. The clouds and the rays made the ice appear almost silver. The wind tangled your hair and tickled your nose. You released a long sigh, solely to see your breath manifest before you.
Winter bird. It was a whisper in your ears. You could hear Jaehyun saying it in your mind and in your memories.
You smiled contentedly. The mountains were engulfed in the fog, but still loomed over you. It was a solitary moment. For the minutes you sat there, it was as if you and only you existed in the world anymore.
He should be here, you thought. He should be sitting behind me, holding me in his arms. This is empty. This is cold.
Rebellion rose up in your throat. Never had you felt the urge to fight, but it was burning its way through you now. Something inside you was screaming, Don’t leave me behind. I want to be with you.
You leapt up and ran down the pier, bursting into the house like a gust of wind.
Mark lurched in his chair, having been engrossed on his phone, and exclaimed, “What the hell?”
You barked, “Mark, give me your keys. I need to borrow the car.”
Mark stood, his eyes lighting up and his teeth flashing in a big grin. “Are you going after your boy?”
You snickered at his reaction and said, “Yes.”
Mark took out his keys and tossed them to your waiting hands, yelling, “Go get him, but for the love of god, don’t wreck my baby!”
The car roared between the trees, kicking up snow. You didn’t want to speed and risk plowing yourself into a rail, but you knew you were battling the clock. Jaehyun would be catching the next train.
The station came into view and you swung into a parking space, albeit crookedly. Not that you gave a damn. Jumping out, your heart slipped into a panic when you saw the train pulling in with a loud blow of its horn.
Racing up the stairs, you breezed past the ticket booths and onto the platform, weaving between people. Fortunately out in a place like this, it was a small station. In no time, you saw him. Jaehyun was looking at the ground while passengers boarded in front of him.
Like he was hesitating.
“Jaehyun,” you shouted at the top of your lungs. “Jeong Jaehyun!”
Down the platform, every head turned, but only one had your attention. Surprise flickered over Jaehyun’s face when he saw you and his lips broke into the biggest smile.
You cleared the distance between you and him as fast as you could and leapt. Jaehyun caught you with ease and wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting until your feet were off the ground.
“I love you,” you told him, pressing a kiss or two or three to his lips.
Jaehyun chuckled, trying to keep up with you, and muttered, “What do you think you’re doing, crazy girl?”
You pulled back as he set you down and held his face, staring into his beautiful eyes. “I love you. I think I always will. I didn’t know what love was until I fell in love with you.”
Shock was plainly written on his face, remembering his conversation with Mark in the study. “You heard all that?”
“Every word. I’m sorry. You were right. I had never heard it put into words before, but you were right about everything.”
Jaehyun softened, tightening his grip around you.
“I can’t stop loving you,” you finally admitted, including to yourself. “I tried.”
He tilted his head, his heart currently leaping over the moon. Never in a million years did Jaehyun think you would forsake your pride and chase him down at a train station. How romantic, he thought and the picture this moment painted brought him indescribable joy.
After all, he was nothing but a hopeless romantic at heart.
“You already know how I feel about you,” he murmured tenderly.
You nodded, biting your lip. “Can we start over? I don’t think we’re too far gone.”
Jaehyun stole a kiss and whispered, “I would do anything for you. If you want to try again, I’m ready.”
“All I know is I want to be with you. I’m done blaming myself. All this time I’ve been convincing myself I don’t deserve you.”
Jaehyun snorted. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Don’t ever do that to yourself again, baby. Understand?”
His stern tone made you smile. “Yes.”
Jaehyun wanted to laugh. He owed Mark big time. Of course, your brother’s idea of trapping the two of you together until you worked through your issues had blown up spectacularly. But in the end, it actually worked.
We really are just a couple of flawed kids trying to make it through life, Jaehyun thought fondly. “Promise me we’ll make it work. Don’t run away again.”
You gave a single nod and vowed, “I promise.”
“Then, let’s go. We still have a whole family vacation to get through.”
You grimaced. “I can never look at that fireplace the same way again.”
Jaehyun gleamed. “Well, whatever you do…”
“Don’t tell Mark,” you both said in perfect sync.
These works are fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but are licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.
copyright 2020-2021 © zenyukhei // all rights reserved
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For the contact name change one, can you do it with Iwaizumi, akaashi and sugawara??
when their s/o didn’t save their contacts under a cute name part three
feat. Iwaizumi, Akaashi, Sugawara
♡ note: f!reader
♡ part one, part two, part four
you were hanging out with the Seijoh 3rd years at Iwaizumi’s house one weekend, and you had to use the restroom so you excused yourself
Oikawa notices how you left your phone, still unlocked
“heh heh, let’s see what Y/n is hiding in their phone!!” he announces, grabbing your phone
“well considering Y/n left their phone unlocked around us- I don’t think you’re going to find anything” Mattsun says. but he and Makki still make their way over to the setter to look at your phone
“reverse psychology my friend- make it seem like you have nothing to hide so no one suspects a thing!” Oikawa replies, only to receive a smack in the head from Iwaizumi
your boyfriend wasn’t really bothered. he knew there was nothing to worry about-
“OH? well what do we have here?”
by the time you came back from the restroom, the boys were sitting on the couches waiting for you. Makki motions you to sit down on the single pillow on the floor
“am I being interrogated or something?” you look to your boyfriend, who’s just twiddling his thumbs
Oikawa stands up and approaches you, tossing your own phone into your lap
looking at your phone, you notice how it’s open on Iwaizumi’s contact
“... that’s Hajime” you say
“acTUALLY, it looks like it’s just ‘Iwaizumi’” Oikawa taunts, shaking his head in disgust
you’re still confused, “I’m sorry... what’s going on here?”
Oikawa continues to look at you disappointed
fortunately, Mattsun spoke up, “uhh, well I think we all thought that your contact name for your boyfriend would be something cute and not just his last name...”
you glance at Iwaizumi, who gives you an awkward smile. it definitely wasn’t a big deal to him- but obviously giving him a cute name would be appreciated
standing up, you make your way to sit next to the ace and give him a hug, “I’m sorry- it was my mistake. I’ll change it now!”
he watches as you change his contact name to cutie pie💖, and he starts to blush
“you’re so cute babe” you coo and continue cuddling him, but then you come to a realization, “hey, so what do you have for me?”
Oikawa hands you Iwaizumi’s phone, and you don’t notice the mischiveious smirk from the setter, nor do you question why he had your boyfriend’s phone in the first place
your contact name is not as pretty as oikawa 😗
Iwaizumi stifles a laugh, and you look straight into the setter’s eyes
“Oikawa, I’m going to break your other knee”
Akaashi noticed something was off after you had lunch with your friends
but he wasn’t able to talk to you until after school
as the two of you walked home he asked what was on your mind
“What’s the matter, did something happen with your friend?”
you look up at him with a pout, “no not really... Keiji, can I see your phone really quick?”
confused, he pulled out his phone and unlocked it for you
he observed you open up your contact
the name he had saved for you was bunny❤️
you blush at the name and stop walking, crouching to the floor and burying your face into your hands
“Y/n, what’s wrong?!”
you took out your phone and showed him his contact name, “my friends fave me so much shit because I saved your name as ‘Akaashi’ and didn’t give you a cute nickname. and now I feel bad because you gave me one”
Akaashi crouched to your level and ruffled your hair
“you know, I really don’t care about that kind of stuff. you don’t have to if you don’t want to you know?” he chuckled
but you shook your head, slowly standing up, “no, it’s not that I don’t want to- it’s that I didn’t even think about changing it”
Akaashi stood up too. he thought it was silly to be worked up on this, but nonetheless, it was cute and he couldn’t help but tease
he leaned forward, his face inches from yours, “ah- you’re right. it does make me feel a bit sad that you didn’t change my name, bunny”
your eyes widened and you pouted at him, “you just said you didn’t care!!”
you turned your back towards him. Akaashi rolled his eyes and pulled you in for a hug, “hey, I was just joking-” he stops mid sentence to watch you edit his contact name
the moment you push save, Akaashi gives you a kiss on the cheek
“is that better” you mumble
“it’s cute- but truth be told, I was completely fine when it was my last name” he says
he holds your hand and the two of you continue your walk home
truth be told- he really didn’t care what you saved his name as
but he won’t deny that seeing a pet name for him made his heart beat a bit faster
you were visiting the team during their practice, and during their break you noticed Yachi standing in the corner reading something
“Whatcha got there?” you ask, creeping up behind her
Yachi screeches, catching the attention of the rest of the team and dropping the magazine she was reading
It was one of those cheesy magazines that would give girls advice on how to talk to their crush and whatnot
the page the magazine had landed on was a “how cute are you and your boyfriend” type of questionnaire
Nishinoya grinned when he read it and announced, “ALRIGHT TEAM, let’s see how cute Sugawara and Y/n’s relationship is- since they’re the only couple here!!”
somehow the both of you agree to it, and the rest of the team is also interested
most of the questions are normal, asking about if you both know each other’s favorite foods, color, etc.
but then came the next question
“what do you have each other saved as on your phone? alright you two, pull out your phones and show us!!”
in an over the top countdown, you and Sugawara show the team each other’s contact
you had saved his as ‘Sugawara’
while he had you as princess👑
“damn Y/n... your boyfriend's contact name his own last name??” Tanaka cackles. and the whole team darts their eyes around nervously
you scoff as Tanaka, “listen- I met him as Sugawara so I saved his contact like that!”
“sounds like an excuse to me!!” Sugawara teases and your mouth gapes at the fact that your own boyfriend threw you under the bus
“WOW- okay I’ll change it then!!” you stick your tongue out at the playful setter, quickly editing his name
“it better be something good Y/n, remember that his guy calls you princess” Daichi chirps, and suddenly you blush at the realization that the entire volleyball team knew about your petname
you show the team the new name, prince charming✨, and most of the team nods in approval (including your boyfriend)
“that is much better” he says, pulling you into a hug and kiss
Nishinoya looks at the two of you in disgust, “you know, according to the quiz, you two are a certified cute couple, but I’m revoking that title for the PDA”
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Karl Heisenberg x Fem!Reader
Summary: Daniela has been giving you gifts, Heisenberg does not really take it too well.
Warnings: SMUT! MINORS DNI!
A/N: Hello, I am here with my first Heisenberg fic and I really love him sdfsdksf This is basically Porn without Plot, please don't kill me lol. I haven't written smut in a while, in fact I haven't written in a while, period. So this is a little rusty, but i like it, so... Heisenberg stans, come get yall juice!! Also, requests are open!! ~Beff
You hummed softly to yourself as you walked towards the bathroom. Heisenberg had gone out to meet with his family, and you were all alone. Daniela, the only other person who knew about you being there, had given you some things to make your stay with Heisenberg a little... more bearable.
Cute clothes, some nice perfume (for some reason?), deodorant, small things she definitely did not find from their victims luggage. Every once in a while when Heisenberg brings horribly wrapped gifts back to you, you know Daniela has found yet another trinket to give you.
“Why does she wrap those?” Karl would ask.
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”
You would smile up at him, holding the gift close to your heart. Karl would roll his eyes, behind his sunglasses of course, and go take care of anything else that needed to be done. He didn’t leave you alone a lot, but when he did, you knew he was feeling upset. Jealousy mostly.
You wore nothing but a cute silk robe that Daniela had gifted you, and held a large fluffy towel against your stomach, another gift from the Dimitrescu (probably belonged to her mother). You were about to reach the bathroom when you heard footsteps through the house.
You turned to find Karl, finding him standing in the doorway. His sunglasses were off and his eyes were dark, filled with something primal, something you had never seen before.
Your voice brought his attention back to you. His eyes raked up your body before finally settling on yours once more.
“Daniela give you that?”
“Uh-” You swallowed hard, watching Heisenberg stalk towards you, slowly, “yes.”
He smirked, “I’m beginning to think this isn’t something so innocent.”
Furrowing your brows and cocking your head, you blinked at him. “Something more? What are you- I thought we-”
“I thought so too.”
“If you want, I can go take it off? I just wanted to take a bath, and- I don’t know, feel cute...”
“Take it off.”
His eyes were darker now, his body tense. You nodded meekly and turned back towards the room you had been staying in. You started to walk towards it, but were stopped.
“No, I mean right now.”
“Karl, I’m-” Your voice grew quiet, almost a whisper, “I’m not wearing clothes under this.”
It clicked. Fuck. He wanted to see you naked. The two of you had shared a couple of heated moments, but never anything further than tongue kissing and almost dry humping. Mother Miranda had a way of stopping anything from happening. She had the best timing it seemed. But, he had already dealt with Miranda, so now, you were all his.
“I don’t know,” you felt like you were going to combust.
Karl was on you now, looking down at you with a lust filled gaze. Almost animalistic. You breath caught and you stared up at him, frozen. His hand met the towel in your arms and he took it from you, softly, and examined it.
“Another gift, I presume? This looks like my sister’s towel...”
You nodded, throat too dry to speak. Karl threw the towel down and your head turned towards it, watching it soar through the sky. Within an instance, Karl’s hand was on your cheek, forcing you to look back at him.
“I promise, I do not like Daniela that way, and I can assure you she doesn’t like me either.”
His hand met the silk tie on the robe and his thumb ran over it, “Hm,” he was deep in thought now, “I don’t think most people give silk robes to friends.” His voice was low and soft, and he was hovering above your face.
Your eyes screwed shut and you blew out air through your closed lips, “She gave them to me so I could impress you.”
Your words came out fast and almost incoherent, but Heisenberg caught it. He definitely caught it. Your eyes slowly opened back up and you watched him smirk down at you.
“Yes, can I please, please go wash off now?”
You weren’t too sure how you got yourself into this particular predicament, but there you were, pushed against the wall, Karl’s thigh grinding against your cunt. Water was running in the background, but all you could focus on was warm hands under the silk robe that had somehow not been ripped from your body yet.
It had been mostly untied though, Karl’s hands beginning to roam across your stomach and towards your breasts. You let out a soft moan and Karl smiled against your neck.
“Fuck, so soft,” he whispered against your skin as his calloused hands found your breasts.
“The water,” Your attention was brought back to reality when you remembered you had bathwater running.
Karl groaned and moved slightly. His hands grabbed your wrists; he held them above your head. “What are you-” You tried to ask, but a piece of metal came flying towards you, and hit the wall; clamping against your wrists. You were stuck now.
Karl turned around and tended the tub, turning the water off. Your thighs rubbed together, the warmth that was once there now gone. You let out a whine and pouted at Heisenberg as he turned around.
“Let me go!” You pulled against the metal, “Why did you-”
“I don’t need you finishing a job that I’m more than capable of handling myself.”
You cocked your head at him and furrowed your brows. “What?”
“I don’t need you finger fucking yourself, you’ll be getting the real thing soon enough.”
You pouted and kept rubbing your thighs together, trying to get some sort of friction, but nothing was like the real thing. Your robe was hanging from your body now, the ribbon hanging off of your waist loosely.
Karl stopped the water and turned his attention back to you, “I was going to just fuck you right there, but I’d really rather the water not get cold.”
The metal fell from your wrists and your arms dropped to your sides. Karl motioned for you to remove your robe and furrowed your brows. “No. You aren’t even undressed.”
Karl’s face dropped, his eyes narrowing. You felt like you had made a grave mistake. Your mouth went dry and sheepishly took off the robe. As the robe hit the ground, so did your eyes. You instinctively wrapped your arms around your waist and kept your eyes low.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Karl stepped towards you, one of his hands reaching for you. “Come here,” He stepped towards you and gently grabbed your biceps, pulling you closer. “See, you look much better without that robe.”
With a nervous glint in your eyes, you looked up at him. You were beginning to feel a little more comfortable. You let your arms drop to your sides and you inhaled sharply. “I think it’s your turn now.” Your voice was soft.
“Of course,” he smiled down at you.
He motioned for you to go ahead and get in the tub and you did so, gladly. The water was warm and helped you untense immediately. You sat down and leaned back in the tub, your eyes closing. The back of your neck rested on the edge of the tub.
You could hear a belt and pants unzipping, but you stayed put where you were, frozen in the hot water. The water shifted after a couple minutes and Karl was on you in an instant. He placed his palm on the back of your neck and pulled you closer to him. Your eyes fluttered open and you met his stare. Your eyes traveled down his body and stopped at his waist, that was all you could see from your -and his- position.
Karl’s hand moved from the back of your neck and to your chin, coaxing you to look back at him once more. His lips pressed to yours and his tongue instantly pushed into your mouth. You let out a moan and wrapped your arms around his neck.
Karl leaned back, into a sitting position, and easily brought you with him. The air was cold against your once warm skin, causing you to shiver. Karl’s hands roamed your torso and his mouth began to travel towards your jaw.
“So beautiful,” he mumbled, his hands grabbing you a little too tightly.
This caused you to let out a yelp, which led to Karl smiling against your skin. His teeth nipped at your jaw, down to your neck, and he was pulling you as close to him as possible. Your bodies curved together, perfectly made for each other.
Your back arched and you pressed harder against him as his lips trailed down to your breasts. One of Karl’s hands rested on the small of your back while the other held the back of your neck again. He was holding you in place. No chance of escape, but you did not want to escape. You wanted him more than anything.
The bath quickly spiraled into a heated makeout session and that’s all it was. Neither of you got a chance to actually bathe. You knew you’d be annoyed later, but for the time being, you were more than okay with it.
“It’s getting cool.” You gasped out between soft moans.
“Hmph,” Karl huffed against your skin. “I think we should continue in my room anyway.”
You nodded and the both of you stood up. Karl’s hand grabbed your and he helped you out of the tub. Standing beside, naked and vulnerable, you realized how much bigger he was. You weren’t too sure of his height, but, fuck, he was tall.
Karl grabbed a towel and sloppily dried the both of you off before easily picking you up and making his way towards his room. Once you did reach his room, he threw you on the bed and loomed over you. You inhaled loudly and held yourself up with your forearms.
“Lay flat on your back.”
You cocked your head, but you obviously didn’t move fast enough. Karl’s hand met your shoulder and he gently pushed you down.
“I said lay down.”
Your back hit the soft bed and your eyes hit the ceiling. You could hear Karl complain about you being a brat and you huffed. You were going to protest, really, you were! But then, the feeling of Karl’s lips on your inner thigh made you come to a complete halt.
Your hair stood on end and your fists balled around the sheets. Karl’s fingers danced around your entrance and you let out a shaky sigh. You could hear him laugh.
“So wet, already, kitten.” Karl’s fingers pushed into your pussy and his lips stayed pressed to your thigh, slowly making his way up. “All for me...”
You let out a hiss as two of Karl’s fingers pulled out and quickly pushed back in. Karl shifted and, while his fingers pumped in and out, his lips met your cunt and his tongue swirled around your clit.
“Fuck,” you moaned out, “Karl, please-”
“Use your words, kitten.”
“Please, let me cum!”
Karl let out a low growl and his fingers pumped a little faster. His tongue moved back to your clit and lightly pressed onto it, while rubbing circles around it. A heat began to pool into your stomach and you let out a whine. You tried to speak, but you couldn’t. All you could do was moan and cry out.
“Cum for me,” Karl rumbled, and your back arched into him.
Quickly, you came undone. Stars blurred your vision and everything tensed. Karl let you ride out your orgasm, gently licking at your pussy while you came down. You were a twitching mess, lying spread out on his bed.
“Please, I need you, I need you to fuck me!”
Your voice was low, but the excitement was there. Karl crawled over you and you looked up at him. His hand grabbed at his cock and he began to pump it a couple of times, percum spilling from the head.
When you really got a good look at his cock, you were nervous. Worried you weren’t ready for him.
“Trust me, kitten, you’re wet enough.”
You nodded and leaned back. Karl positioned himself at the entrance of your pussy and slowly pushed in. Moaning from the pleasure, your hips bucked into his. Karl froze and his tongue clicked at you.
“Eager, are we?”
You couldn’t help but nod.
Karl’s movements were slow at first, steady. You whined under him and rocked your hips upwards. Karl lazily grabbed your hip and pushed into the bed, not letting you move anymore. You groaned and wanted nothing more than for his hips ro roll into yours.
Suddenly, he was picking up the pace. He leaned his forehead against yours and let out a guttural groan.
“So fucking good... And all mine.”
“All yours, fuck- please, I promise, I’m all yours.”
Something in his eyes became very dark, animalistic almost. His pace quickened again, his hips pressing into yours before pulling back and pushing all the way back in. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. The sound of your wailing was surely heard by the villagers.
“Going to fuck you so good, kitten. You’re being so good for me.”
You let out a loud cry of pleasure, words becoming too hard to say. Your brain was mush and your body was only reacting to Karl. “Karl!” You let out a loud cry, finally reaching your orgasm. He seemed close too.
His hips were rutting into you, his movements becoming sloppy and fast. He was growling in your ear, his chest rumbling. You were easily sent into another orgasm. Your eyes screwed shut and your nails clawed down his scarred back.
“So fucking good, kitten- Fuck!”
Karl finally reached his orgasm, fucking his release into you. His hips slowed and his growling became more quiet.
“Let’s stay like this a moment.”
His cock pressed deep inside you, unmoving, as your pussy clenched around him. His chest pressed yours and his breathing was rugged and fast.
“So,” your voice hoarse, “Should Daniela give me gifts more often?”
That was it, Karl was absolutely ready for round two.
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Could you please write about dabi with a very affectionate s/o, but he takes it for granted and she stops. And then he starts missing the attention and tries to win her back. Love your writing btw♥️
Dabi with an affectionate s/o
ty!! i’m happy you like my writing. sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted but it’s what came to mind when i saw your ask. it’s pretty long too anyways here ya go ;)
Warning: angst but has a happy ending, a lil nsfw and swearing
When you first joined the LOV you were instantly drawn to Dabi. He had a certain air around him that made you want to get to know him better
It was easy to tell that you had taken a liking to him as you put in more effort to be around him than you did with the other members
You chose to go on more missions with him, you always found a way to be somewhat close to him and you tried to strike up a conversation anytime you could
Eventually your efforts payed off. He invited you to grab a drink with him and slowly opened up to you
Thus started your confusing and complicated relationship with him.
He’d go to you whenever he needed fixing up or when he needed someone to talk to and you’d even slept together a bunch of times but not once has he expressed how he felt towards you
While it did hurt your feelings that he treated you like everyone else you were determined to make him fall for you. So you showered him with affection any chance you got.
But that just made things worse. When you tried to hold his hand he’d harshly pull away, you’d give him hugs but all he would do is stand there not even bothering to wrap his arms around you and sometimes he’d even refuse to acknowledge you.
The last straw was when you attempted to give him a kiss but before your lips could even touch his he ripped himself out of your grasp and backed away, giving you the dirtiest look he could muster.
“ What the hell are you doing?”
“I just wanted to give you a kiss.” you stammered.
“Well cut it out, I don’t like it and what’s been up with you these past few days. You’ve been all over me lately it’s really fucking annoying.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from blurting it out. All your emotions just came bubbling out and without even thinking you confessed.
“I’m in love with you”
But before you could even utter another word he already answered.
“Then stop. I don’t need any of your love.” he turned and walked away not even bothering to look back at you and you’re glad he didn’t because he would’ve seen your heart shatter to pieces right in front of him.
It’s been a few weeks since that happened and you’ve been doing your best to stay away from him. No one in the league asked about what happened but they could clearly see that something was wrong because of the tense atmosphere whenever you were near each other.
Dabi felt horrible about what he did but he knew that you would be better off without him. He didn’t mean to make things this bad. Ever since you guys met he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He thought you were perfect but he also knew that being a villain meant he couldn’t get to attached to anyone.
But when he found out that you had a crush on him he couldn’t help but take advantage of it. I mean someone like you wanting someone as broken as him, he couldn’t believe it
He slowly started falling for you too and he hated it. He hated how much he craved for your touch, how much your presence calmed him down and how much you made him feel and because of this he pushed you away.
He regretted it, he really did but you deserved so much more than what he could give you which is why he decided to let you go.
These past few weeks were awful he wanted so bad to go to you and apologize but he stopped himself everytime. He tried to convince himself that being around you was enough but he was a liar and he knew it
Then it happened he was in his room lying in a bed of self hatred and pity when he heard your voice down the hall. You sounded excited and he wanted to know why. He creeped closer and heard you talking to Toga.
He couldn’t hear much except for two words
“-a date.” with hawks.
Dabi ran to his room and slammed the door shut. He sat in the dark for what seemed like forever telling himself he didn’t care.
He heard footsteps walking past his room and assumed it was you due to the clicking of heels on the ground.
Without any hesitation he pulled his beddoor open and ran towards you.
He saw you and you looked absoluely stunning your hair flowed down in beautiful curls and you were wearing a beautiful turquoise dress.
You looked at him confusion and worry shown on your face, before you could ask what he was doing he took you into his arms and squeezed you tight.
After moments of silence he finally spoke and with an unsteady voice he said.
“Don’t go with him, please.”
You wanted to be mad. To push him away and yell at him. Make him feel as shitty as he made you feel but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. Never has he shown you this side of him.
He held you in his arms a little longer but after a while he slowly moved his head back and stared straight into your eyes
“I feel something for you Y/N. I know I was an asshole but the truth is I was scared, I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I didn’t want to get hurt or hurt you but I would rather die than let someone else have you. I- I want to learn how to love... with you.”
There were so many things you wanted to say but you decided to show him instead. You pulled him into you, your chest touching his and finally drew him in with a kiss. The kiss was filled with frustration and passion but it filled you with warmth.
You didn’t know what would happen next but none of that mattered right now as you held each other close. Feeling content in each others arms
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Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Synopsis: Peter sniffs the sex pollen plant and you help him out
warning: contains smut so proceed with caution if you are under 18!
“I’m bored.” Peter whined for the millionth time as he sprawled out on the couch next to you. Most of the Avengers were away on a mission, leaving you and Peter unsupervised and bored out of your minds.
“Me too.” You sighed. “Can we break into the lab and play with dangerous weapons?”
“Uh, of course we can break into the lab and play with dangerous weapons.” Peter scoffed. “Let’s go.”
Peter took your hand and lead you to the lab, the sweet gesture making you smile.
That was Peter, always so innocent.
When you got the the lab, you found a bright orange sticky note stuck to the door.
“Do not go in the lab. Peter and Y/n, that means you.” You read off the note.
“Don’t go in the lab?” Peter asked as he took the note off the door.
“Why is it there then?” You asked sarcastically.
“I doubt this is for us.” Peter shrugged as he crumbled up the note. “Let’s go in.”
You went inside and began to explore all of the parts of the lab Tony never let you in. Peter went one way and you went the other, a particularly large gun catching your eye. You picked it up and saw “death Ray” labeled on the side of it, your eyes going wide with shock.
“Holy shit.” You whispered. “Why don’t I have one of these?”
“What is this thing?” Peter called from the other side of the lab.
“What thing?” You shouted back as you examined the gun.
“I don’t know.” He shouted. “It’s some kind of plant.”
“I’m playing with a death Ray and you want me to come look at a plant?” You laughed shortly.
“It’s really pretty.” He called again. “It’s your favorite colors.”
“Wow.” You said sarcastically. “Exciting.”
“It smells like you too.” You heard his voice after hearing him take a whiff. “Woah, it smells exactly like you.”
“All right, all right.” You sighed and put the weapon down. “I’ll come look at your nerd plant.”
You walked over to where Peter was and found him perfectly still, staring at the plant with enchantment. He was gripping the table so hard that his knuckles were white, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“Peter?” You asked as you approached him. “You okay?”
His body twitched when he heard your voice and you saw his shoulders tense.
“First of all, these are not my favorite colors.” You said as you assessed the plant. “Red and blue are your favorite colors.”
“It’s the color of your dress.” He said in a low voice. “The peach one that you usually only wear in the summer but you wore it today. The one that makes me lose my mind.”
“Lose your mind?” You asked as you took your eyes away from the plant. You did a double take when you noticed that Peter was sweating profusely.
“Yeah.” He swallowed hard, griping the table even harder. “You bent over in it once and I saw right up your skirt. You had on the gray underwear with the black lace. I see it in the dryer sometimes. I think about it every time you wear that dress. I’m thinking about it now.”
“What?” You laughed in shocked. “Why are you thinking about my underwear?”
“I’m not anymore.” He said simply as he stared into the plant. “Now I’m thinking about taking it off. Maybe stuffing it in your mouth to keep you quiet. I bet you’re loud in bed. I bet I could make you be loud.”
“Peter.” You gasped as you stared at him in shock. “What are you talking about? You never act like this. You’re always so…innocent.”
“I’m really not.” He laughed humorlessly. “I’m a gentleman around you because that’s what you deserve. But I think about you all the time. Kissing you slowly, sometimes fucking you against the wall. God, I really want to fuck you against the wall.”
“What is going on with you? Are you okay?” You asked again, reaching out to touch him. There was no way these words were coming out of your best friends mouth voluntarily. He whipped around and took a step back from you, eyes wide with panic. His hands were now covering his crotch as he slowly backed away from you.
“You can’t touch me. If you touch me right now, I don’t know what I’d do.” He panted as he adverted his eyes. “Fuck! Why did you have to wear that dress? I gotta get out of here.”
“Peter, it’s okay.” You walked towards him and he scrambled to get away from you. “Let me help you.”
“Don’t say that.” He whined, stressfully running his fingers through his hair. When he moved his hands, you finally saw the huge tent he was coming concealing. Your eyes widened a little as your face flushed, not used to seeing your best friend like this.
“What happened? Why are you…” you trailed off and pointed to his crotch, which he quickly covered.
“I don’t know.” He exclaimed. “One second I’m smelling the plant and the next I am fighting the urge to fuck you on the lab table.”
“You’re what?” You sputtered, face going bright red.
“My question exactly.” Bruce awkwardly cleared his throat, alerting you to his presence. “Whats going on in here?”
“I don’t know.” You answered, not taking your eyes off Peter. “He smelled the plant and started freaking out.”
“He smelled the plant?” Bruce panicked. “The sex pollen plant?”
“The what?” Your jaw dropped upon hearing the name.
“Okay, I’m calling Nat.” Bruce blew out a nervous breath as he dialed her number. “She’s gonna come get you, Y/n. Peter, you’re coming with me.”
“Wait, I want to stay with him. I have to make sure he’s okay.” You tried to follow Bruce as he lead Peter away.
“He cannot be around you right now.” Bruce held out a hand to stop you. “It’s for his own good.”
“I’m here.” Nat walked in the room, instantly clocking Peter’s flushed face. “Oh, no. Not the sex pollen.”
“Yes, the sex pollen.” Bruce sighed. “Can you explain to her what’s happening? I doubt she’d want to hear it from me.”
“Where are you taking him?” You asked, eyes full of concern.
“Far from you.” Bruce said as he began to pull Peter away.
“Please.” Peter whined and tried to break free. “I want to be with Y/n. I need her.”
“I know. It’s okay, Peter.” Bruce sighed as he took a syringe out of a cabinet.
“What are you doing?” You asked. “What is that?”
“It’s a mild tranquilizer.” Nat told you. “It won’t hurt him. It’ll just put him to sleep for a little while.”
You sighed and looked at Peter with sympathy as he slumped in Bruce’s arms. Bruce carried his body out of the lab, far away from you.
“What the hell is going on?” You rubbed your face from the stress. “He was totally fine until he smelled the plant. Then he started saying all these crazy things.”
“Crazy how?” Nat asked, and you gulped.
“Like…” You trailed off as your face flushed, remembering the words that had come out of Peter’s mouth. “Like wanting to...you know.”
“Wanting to fuck you?” She asked simply, making your jaw drop.
“Oh my God.” You blushed at her brash language. “Natasha!”
“Is that not what he said?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“No, it is.” You admitted. “Why did he say that?”
“Because he sniffed the sex pollen.” She shrugged. “Let me guess, he said it smelt like you, didn’t he?”
“How’d you know?” You wondered.
“Because that’s what the plant does.” She explained. “It’s kinda like a love potion. A really, really horny love potion.”
“So the plant made Peter…horny?” Your grimaced, still embarrassed to be on this subject.
“Thats what happens when you smell it. It weakens your inhibitions but heightens your libido. In other words, it makes you super horny.”
“So he’s just horny?” You nodded slowly. “That’s why he said all those things?”
“Yes.” She said. “Horny for you, specifically.”
“What?” You gasped.
“You smell the scent of the person you desire most. For him, that was you.” She said causally. “He desired you and now the sex pollen made him unable to control his desire.”
“So everything he said was true?” A shy smile tugged at your lips. “He really wants to fuck me against the wall?”
“No way.” She let out a laugh. “Peter Parker said that?”
“Don’t tell anyone.” You pleaded. “He probably never wanted me to know.”
“What are you going to do now that you do know?” She cocked her head. “Do you like him back? Before you answer that, I already know the answer is yes, so don’t bother lying.”
“I do.” You admitted as you bit your lip. “I wish I could help him.”
Nat made a face and looked to the side, letting you know she knew something you didn’t.
“What’s that face for?” You asked. “What are you not telling me?”
“Sex pollen stays in a persons system for five days. That means Peter is going to be painfully horny for you for the next five days. The only cure is…” She trailed off as she made eye contact with you.
“Is what?” You pressed.
“Having sex with him.” She shrugged. “Letting him fulfill his desires.”
Your jaw dropped a little as you blushed all the way to your ears at the mere thought of it.
“So I have to have sex with Peter to cure him?” You said in a weak voice.
“You don’t have to do anything.” Nat assured you. “Bruce told me not to tell you what the cure was. He didn’t want you to feel pressured to do this.”
“But if I don’t, he’ll be in pain?” You asked for clarification.
“Bruce has him sedated for now.” Nat nodded. “He can keep him sedated until it runs it’s course through his body. He’ll only be in pain when he’s awake to eat.”
“He can’t spend five days like that.” You chewed your bottom lip. “Not when I can cure him now.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Nat reminded you.
“I…I want to.” You admitted shyly.
“Yeah. I figured you would.” She cracked a smile.
“Is it what he wants, though?” You wondered. “He can’t really consent in this state of mind.”
“If he wasn’t consenting, he wouldn’t have smelled your scent.” She assured you. “He wants you, Y/n. Only you.”
You couldn’t help but smile at this information, now knowing Peter desired you as much as you desired him.
“You’re so pleased.” She clicked her tongue, making you flush.
“I’m not.” You lied. “It’s just nice to know he feels the same.”
“So you also want him to fuck you against a wall?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Natasha!” You sputtered. “Stop it. This is serious.”
“I know.” She chuckled. “But it’s a little funny.”
“Where is he now?” You asked. “Where did Bruce take him?”
“I’m not supposed to say.” She sighed. “Remember, I wasn’t even supposed to tell you this part.”
“Well you did, and now I have to help my best friend.” You decided. “So where is he?”
“Fourth floor.” She said after a beat of silence. “Room 69.”
“Oh my God.” You groaned. “Did it have it be that number?”
“I’m kidding.” She laughed. “Room 201. On the left.”
“Thank you.” You nodded as you headed for the door.
“You’re welcome.” She called after you. “Use protection.”
You pressed cold hands to your burning face as you rode the elevator to the fourth floor. You could not believe after years of pinning after Peter, this is what would bring you together. You always hoped your first time would be with him, but you never imagined it like this.
You found room 201 and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Little did you know, Peter could smell you from the lab. His body was aching with anticipation as your scent wafted into his room.
“Peter?” You asked through the door. “Can I come in?”
“Okay.” His strained voice came from inside. You slowly opened the door and saw him laying on the bed, shirtless and glistening in sweat. The sedation must have just worn off because he seemed a little out of it. He was gripping the sheets as you closed to door behind you, engulfing him in your scent.
“How’d you find me?” He asked weakly, eyes boring into you.
“Nat told me.” You said calmly. “She figured I could help you out.”
“You shouldn’t be in here.” Peter gulped as he stared you down. “I’m sick.”
“You’re not sick.” You chuckled softly as you took a step into the room. “Are you, Peter?”
“The plant.” He swallowed thickly as his eyes traveled down your body. “Do you know about…”
“Yeah.” You nodded as your looked at him through your lashes. “I know all about it. What I didn’t know was that you dreamt of, how did you put it, fucking me against the wall?”
“Oh god.” Peter rubbed the sweat from his face. “I’m so sorry I said all that. It was so inappropriate. I promise, I’m a gentleman. I just can’t control myself right now.”
“It’s okay.” You shrugged. “I liked it.”
“You…you did?” He asked slowly as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.
“Yeah.” You mumbled as you placed your hands on his face. “Didn’t know you felt that way, baby boy.”
His skin was hot to the touch and you knew he wouldn’t be able to take it much longer. He looked up at you with puppy dogs eyes, trying to keep eye contact.
“I do.” He swallowed again as he gingerly placed his hands on your waist.
“Tell me, Peter.” You held his gaze and you slowly undid the buttons of your dress. “What else do you think about doing with me?”
Peter lost the battle of trying to be a gentleman and unapologetically stared at your exposed cleavage. Your lacy white bra was on display for him, a little bow in the center like you were a present.
“I think about laying you down on my bed.” He said slowly as he began to undo the rest of your buttons. He placed on open mouthed kiss on the middle of your stomach as he looked up at you. “Taking off your clothes. You taking off mine.”
He punctuated each sentence with a kiss on your stomach, getting higher each time. You let the dress drop to the floor, feeling the cold breeze of the fan hit your back.
“Then what?” You whispered as he stood up. He put his hands on either side of your face and silently asked for consent. You nodded and he leaned in to kiss you. The kiss was slow and you could tell he was holding back.
“Then it depends.” He said as he pulled away. “We could go slow. Take our time. Stay in bed until the sun starts to rise.”
“And what if I don’t want it slow?” You raised an eyebrow as you pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“What if I want it faster?” You kissed his cheekbone.
“Harder?” You kissed below his earlobe.
“What if I don’t want to walk the next day?” You whispered against his neck before placing a kiss there. You felt Peter shiver before gripping your waist and making you look at him.
“Then I’d do something more like this.” He growled before throwing you on the bed. You laughed in delight and pulled him towards you, kissing him deeply as you tugged on his hair.
“I’d pin you down and show you who you belong to.” He mumbled against your neck. He trailed kisses from your earlobe to your belly button as you moaned softly.
“Who might that be?” You asked as you sat up a little. You placed your hands on the button of his jeans, looking up at him for permission. He nodded and pulled you into a kiss as you pulled his zipper down and helped him shed his jeans.
“Me.” He growled as he laid you down again. “Fuck, all mine.”
“That’s what I thought.” You sighed happily as he threw his jeans across the room.
“I want to hear you say it.” He said as he began to trail kisses up your thigh. He parted your legs to give himself better access, never breaking eye contact with you.
“I’m yours.” You told him.
“Who’s?” He asked, kissing your calf.
“Yours.” You said louder as he bit down on your leg.
“I can’t hear you.” He said as he kissed the inner side of your knee.
“Yours, Peter.” You moaned as he got higher up your leg.
“Peter?” He asked as he kissed your inner thigh.
“Fuck.” You sputtered. “Yours, sir.”
“Much better.” He looked up, grinning like a devil. “Now, what would you like to happen next, princess?”
“Please fuck me, Peter.” You begged, shocked to hear those words out of your mouth.
“That would be too easy.” He clicked his tongue. “I want to hear you beg for it.”
“Please, Peter.” You whined. “I need you so bad.”
“How bad, princess?” He asked as you sat up a little. “How bad do you need it?”
“So bad.” You whispered as you pulled him into another kiss. His hands went to remove your bra, but he found himself struggling with the clasp.
“Wait, time out.” He giggled as he tugged on the band. “How do you take this off?”
“Let me show you.” You laughed against his mouth as you continued to kiss him. It was nice to see a glimmer of the Peter you knew in the midst of all this. You guided his hands to the band and unclasped it for him, smiling shyly as your bra dropped to the bed. He tossed it to the side and looked at you, taking you all in.
“So beautiful.” He whispered before kissing you again. “I promise, I’d want this just as bad even if I wasn’t strung out on sex pollen.”
“Well I don’t have any sex pollen in my system.” You reminded him. “And I’m still wetter than the titanic.”
“Why would you say…are you really?” He changed course upon hearing your words.
“Yeah.” You nodded as you bit your lip. “All for you, Peter.”
“Fuck, oh my God.” He groaned. “I should’ve sniffed that plant years ago.”
“Or you could’ve just made a move.” You laughed softly.
“That’s way scarier.” He laughed as well before cupping your face. “Hey, I love you.”
“I love you too, Peter.” You smiled softly and kissed him. “But we can do the romance thing at another time. I believe you were about to fuck me, yeah?”
“Yeah.” He got back into in and kissed you roughly. “Stand up.”
You did as you were told and he stood up as well.
“We won’t be needing these.” He said as he ripped your underwear right off your body.
“Damn, you’re strong.” You gasped as you looked at the torn fabric on the floor.
“I know.” He said cockily. “Come here.”
You stepped closer to him and he kissed you, picking you up and walking backwards with you.
“What are we doing?” You asked between kisses.
“I have four walls.” He answered. “I’m gonna fuck you against all of them.”
“Promise?” You laughed against his mouth.
“Yes. I promise, princess.” He eagerly shook his head. “But I meant what I said. I love you.”
“I love you too.” You told him. “Now please fuck me.”
“As you wish.” He smirked. After getting a condom out of the bedside dresser, he did exactly as he promised.
All four walls.
Once you had tired Peter out and the sex pollen had run it’s course, you laid in the bed beside him. You were still naked but you felt totally comfortable with him as he traced your skin with his fingertips.
“That was really good.” He said in a soft voice. “Better than I ever could’ve imagined.”
“It was good for me too, Petey.” You smiled softly. “Really good.”
“Did you pee?” He asked. “I heard girls are supposed to pee afterwards.”
“I did.” You laughed gently. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
“No problem.” He smiled. He was back to his usual shy self, and you appreciated it.
“What does this mean for us?” You asked him as you brushed some hair off his forehead.
“I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “I do love you. That wasn’t the sex pollen talking.”
“I love you too.” You smiled before kissing him gently. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
“Very much so, yes.” He answered immediately, making you giggle.
“Good. I was hoping you’d say that.” You told him. “Otherwise, I’d have your handprint on my throat for the next week for nothing.”
“Oh my God.” Peter whined and covered his face. “I can’t believe half the things we just did. I didn’t know I had that in me.”
“Me either. But I liked it.” You assured him. “I did not wake up this morning thinking I’d end the day with bruises on my thighs with the impression of your fingerprints. I can’t wear skirts for a month.”
“I’m sorry.” He pouted, but you knew he wasn’t sorry. “I heal fast so my hickeys will be gone by tomorrow. Can’t say the same for you.”
You laughed as you looked down at your body, a trail of hickeys going from your neck to your thigh. You couldn’t even be mad. They were just love bites from someone you loved.
“It’s okay.” You shrugged. “I don’t regret a thing.”
“Me either.” He sighed and leaned in to kiss you again. “Thanks for helping me out.”
“Peter Parker, and I mean this quite literally,” you began, “it was my pleasure.”
“Yeah.” He chuckled and rubbed your cheek. “It was my pleasure too.”
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Walking on Dangerous Territory
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger! Reader
Summary: John Walker never knows how to keep his mouth shut, especially when it comes to you and Bucky’s had enough of it.
Warnings: angst/fluff, violence, cursing
A/N: Hey everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve written a fic about Bucky (that isn’t a request), so that’s where this came from. Wanted to show one of my favorite men some love. I hope you all enjoy and as always, feedback is appreciated :)
Walking along the dirt road, you’re situated in between Bucky and Sam.
Sam continues to stare at you and Bucky, his eyes burning holes through the side of your faces. Frustrated, you abruptly stop walking and place your hands on your hips. “Is there something wrong, Sam?”
Sam chuckles. The man really has the nerve to laugh in your face as you’re seconds from destroying everything around you.
“Is something funny?” Your voice is low, anger evident in your tone. Bucky reaches forward to grip your arm, holding you back from doing something you’d regret.
Sam continues to laugh. “I just can’t believe two super soldiers got their ass kicked by a little girl.”
Ripping your arm out of Bucky’s hold, you stomp forward. “Okay, first of all-”
Bucky wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you flush against the front of his body. “What Y/N is trying to say is we were up against five other super soldiers, one of those being that little girl. So yeah, we got our asses kicked. We were outnumbered.”
“And,” you speak up. “From what I recall, you also experienced a beating, so I don’t know why you’re calling us out.”
Sam walks forward and pats his hand onto your shoulder. “Just picking on you, Y/N. You know I love seeing that temper of yours coming out.”
Pushing his hand away, you storm off, out of Bucky’s hold. “I hate you!”
“No, you don’t! You love me!” Sam yells.
Continuing to walk ahead, you flip him off. Sam and Bucky laugh behind you, the sound of Bucky’s voice calming you down. You may have some unresolved feelings for him, as in you love him, but would never dare to speak on it. Sam knows and even though you’ve never explicitly said anything to him, he can see right through you. Thankfully, he’s kept your feelings a secret and you’re more than grateful for that.
The sound of an engine makes you turn around. A jeep comes to a stop in front of you, with Walker and Lemar sitting in the bed.
Sighing, you ignore them and continue walking. The last thing you need is to be surrounded by those two. You might end up punching Walker right in his face.
“Where you going, Y/N?” Walker calls out, his smug voice pissing you off even more.
“Far away from you!” You yell back, desperate to get out of this situation.
He doesn’t answer for a few seconds, but when he does, you scoff. “You don’t want a ride back, beautiful? It beats walking!”
Whipping around, you’re about to answer, but Bucky beats you to it. “I’d back off if I were you, Walker.”
Bucky’s tone takes you by surprise... and causes goosebumps to erupt over your skin. Why is he being so protective? Whatever the reason, it’s enough to capture your mind with some unnecessary thoughts.
“Just get in!” Lemar yells, wanting to defuse the tension before it gets out of hand.
Looking at Sam and Bucky, you sigh when Sam shrugs his shoulders, gesturing for the three of you to hop on.
Bucky gets in before you, extending his hand for you to grab as you jump up. You didn’t need the help, but you appreciate the thought.
When you sit down, you’re snuggled tightly in between Sam and Bucky, the bench being too short to comfortably accommodate the three of you.
Walker grins at you and it makes you want to punch his face even more. “So, Y/N, it seemed like you needed a little help back there.”
Bucky growls next to you. “Y/N can handle themselves. They don’t need help, especially not from you.”
“And, why’s that?” Walker presses. “They have their big guard dog to look after them?”
Bucky jumps forward and you immediately stand up, pushing on his chest to hold him back. “It’s okay,” you whisper as you look into his eyes. “He’s just a dick. Don’t let him get to you.”
Bucky lets out a deep breath before slowly sitting back down. You sigh out in relief, not really wanting to deal with another brawl on a moving car.
But, Walker just doesn’t seem to know when to stop. “I’m just saying that if you do need a partner, I’m always here. In more ways than one.”
Bucky bucks up again and you hold him down with a hand on his arm.
“Don’t you have a wife?” Sam asks, his voice accusatory. “I wonder how she’d feel to know you’re constantly hitting on Y/N.”
Walker looks away, his face red with embarrassment.
Bucky takes this moment to speak up. “The next time you so much as look at Y/N the wrong way, I won’t hold back.”
“Ah,” Walker responds. “So, you are the guard dog.”
In two seconds, Bucky is on him, punching him square in the face. It happens so fast, you don’t have the time to grab him beforehand.
“Bucky!” You yell, wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him backwards.
Walker spits to the side before wiping the blood that’s spewing from his nose. His eyes narrow at Bucky, shooting imaginary daggers at him. “This isn’t over.”
As the Jeep comes to a stop, Bucky jumps out before turning around to help you down. “Looking forward to the next meeting, John!”
Sam snickers at his response before jumping out himself. “Thanks for the ride! You should get some tissues for that nose!”
Stepping back into your safehouse, you place your stuff down before looking at Bucky. “Look, I know Walker’s a jerk, alright? But, we can’t just go around punching everyone who says something we don’t like!”
Bucky chuckles, his laugh dark. “Something we don’t like? The man is harassing you and I’m not going to just sit around and let him do it!”
Sam looks between the two of you, shock written all over his face at the sudden outburst. “I’m just going to go to bed.”
“Good!” Bucky yells over to him.
“See you in the morning!” You yell at the same time.
“Uh-huh,” Sam says, slowly nodding his head and quickly leaving the room.
Once he’s gone, you and Bucky compete in a staring contest, serious expressions plastered on your faces.
You cross your arms over your chest. “Wanna explain what’s wrong?”
Bucky mimics you. “I already did.”
You scoff. “Okay, and I get that, but you’ve never actually punched him before! You usually just say some harsh words back and then move on!”
“Yeah, well he deserved it and I don’t regret doing it, if that’s what you want me to say.”
Sighing, you decide to just agree with him. This conversation was going nowhere and fast. “Thank you for standing up for me. Next time though, could you hold back on the punches?”
Bucky laughs again, the sound sending chills down your spine. “He’s lucky I didn’t kill him.”
“O-kay. And, here we are. Back at square one.”
“What do you want me to say to you, Y/N? That I’m sorry for doing it? Because I’m not. I’m not going to just sit there and let some asshole say shit like that to you!”
“You know I can handle myself!” You’re starting to get pissed. You know he means well, but you can fight your own battles.
“I know you can, but I’m sick of fucking Walker and his numerous crude attempts to get in your pants!”
You walk away, heading into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. All of this yelling is making your head hurt.
Bucky follows you, close at your heels. “I don’t even understand why you’re so mad. It’s like you don’t want me to stand up for you!”
“It’s not that! I just don’t want you punching people for no reason!”
“I had every damn reason to punch him! How many times do I have to explain it?!”
“Okay, Buck. Okay.” You walk past him, heading towards your room. “I’m going to bed.”
Bucky grabs your arm before you can walk any further. “Hey… I’m sorry, doll. I don’t want to fight with you.”
Turning around, you stare into his warm, blue eyes. He looks tired, strained from the beating all of you took today.
“It’s okay. I know you mean well and I appreciate it. I really do… I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
He moves closer, trapping you against the nearest wall. “Don’t worry about me, doll. I’d do anything for you. You’re my main concern.”
“Not Sam?” You joke.
He chuckles and this time, it’s sincere. “No, not Sam. I mean, I care about him, but it’s not like with you.”
“And, what makes me so different?”
Leaning forward, his arms rest against the wall, his face mere inches from yours. “You’re the one that’s captured my heart. Not him.”
“Is Mr. Barnes implying that he has feelings for me?” You smile shyly, a contradiction to your confident words.
“You’re damn right I do, doll.” He’s staring directly at your lips, not even bothering to be discreet. “Tell me you feel the same way, so I can kiss you already.”
His eyes drill into yours and you bite your lip in response, your body heating up with desire. “Always have,” you whisper.
His lips are on yours then, devouring you whole. You moan into the kiss and he takes that opportunity to slide his tongue inside your mouth.
As he bites down on your lower lip, your arms slide around his neck, pulling him even closer. It’s addicting and you never want to-
A slow clap sounds next to you and the two of you jump apart. When you turn, you see Sam standing there, a huge grin on his face. “My, my, my. I thought the day would never come. Tinman and Y/N. What a sight!”
Bucky groans, dragging his hand down his face. “Seriously? Can you get out of here please?”
Sam laughs as he turns to head back into his room. “Make sure to send me an invitation for the wedding!”
You look down at the ground and laugh, shaking your head.
“He’s something, isn’t he?”
Looking back up at Bucky, you nod your head. “Yeah… Yeah, he is.”
Bucky puts out his hand, gesturing for you to take it and you do, letting him lead you to his bedroom. “So, when should it be?”
“When should what be?”
Bucky wiggles his eyebrows. “Our wedding.”
You playfully slap your hand against his arm. “I can’t with you. Let’s just get to bed.”
“Oh, I plan on taking you to bed, all right.”
As soon as he says that, he’s picking you up, carrying you bridal style in his arms. You let out a shriek as he starts to run, entering his room and plopping you onto his bed.
He gets on top of you, pining your arms above your head. “We’ve got a long night ahead of us, doll.”
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Question: I hear a lot of scary things about brand new vaccines. Such as when the swine vaccine came out, it caused paralysis and some people. The flu vaccine with Ford caused a lot of issues because they were rushed out. Is there a chance of this with the rona vaccine? 😬 I am fully pro vaccine and want to get it to help but I am scared, it’s brand new, what if it has terrible effects?
So I’m between night shifts and need to go to sleep, but let me try to address this point by point and you can tl;dr to the boldface if that helps, I know it’s a wall of font.
I understand that, especially in a time when a pandemic is a huge cultural focus, things that are scary and sound very bad stick in the mind a lot more, so let me say: i get why you feel the way you do. Humans are programmed to be cautious first and foremost, because Survival, haha. So! I’m sorry you’re scared. I definitely get that.
The paralysis you’re talking about is a condition called Guillan-Barre syndrome--obviously a severe side effect, and one that’s very frightening to read about, although as I look into it the numbers I’m seeing for total recovery seem optimistic in the 70-80% range. Notably, though, vaccines only account for a small fraction of GBS cases--certain kinds of food poisoning, or even the flu itself, are much more likely to trip it off.
((For more data about vaccines and GBS with a long list of cited sources and studies, the CDC has a page about this specific concern [here]))
RE: side effects in general...I’m always torn how to respond to concerns about side effects, because obviously however safe things are I can’t say 100% nothing bad will ever happen. But as quickly as the news about these vaccines has moved forward, the process behind them has been in the works for much longer, and even if they roll out in January as planned, they’ll have months of clinical trials behind them.
Regardless...lemme be real with you, chief. Compared to something that was intentionally engineered to be as helpful and safe as possible? This virus scares me a WHOLE lot more. Just in the last few days, I know three different people who have lost family members to COVID, in two cases from COVID-induced pneumonia and one from a thrown blood clot that led to a heart attack. My hospital has two full ICUs and three nursing floors packed with corona patients; several hundred of our caregivers are out quarantined with it, including a coworker and friend of mine in her 20s who had to go to the ER a few days ago because she could barely walk across a room without getting winded.
...to be honest at this point it would take some pretty severe and common side effects to even put a hitch in my stride. I’m going straight at that needle deltoid-first, because like: holy shit.
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And They Were Roommates - One Shot
a/n: I’ve had this idea for a long time, and I’m glad it’s finally come together. I love friends to lovers fics, they make my stomach twist in the best possible way, so I hope you all enjoy these two! Feedback and reblogs are always helpful. (not proofread)
Warnings: two idiots refusing to just get together until they do, SMUT, mentions of Only Fans (which I truthfully know nothing about, but I wanted to make things saucy)
“We just need to be quiet in case my roommate’s home.” You say to your date, Jeremy, as you key into your flat. He nods with a grin as you enter.
“Hey, lovie, how was the-“ Harry smirks when he sees you come in with your date. “I see it went well, never mind.”
You roll your eyes at him. He was sitting on the couch in some sweat pants, and that was it, watching some romantic comedy.
“Harry, this is Jeremy, Jeremy this is my roommate Harry.”
“I’m her best friend too, but I can see she clearly hasn’t brought me up all night. M’a little offended, pet.”
“Okay, well, I’ll try to be more courteous.” You shake your head at him, and tug Jeremy along to your bedroom. “Sorry about him. He usually goes out on Friday nights, but lately he’s been staying in more.”
“You…you live with that guy?”
“Sure.” You shrug and then wrap your arms around his neck. “We’ve been friends for years, and we’re in the same grad program, so it just made sense to split a flat.”
“Listen…uh, I was excited that you invited me up, but I can’t fuck you with that guy sitting out there.”
“What?” You frown and step back. “Why not?”
“Because I’ll just think you’re thinking of him the whole time. He’s…like…perfect! I can’t compete with that.”
“Jeremy, you’re being silly, just clear your head, we can-“
Jeremy opens your door and leaves you standing in your room. You were in shock. Jeremy walks quickly back out into the main area, and sees Harry still sitting and watching his movie.
“Oi, that was quick, mate. Hope you left my girl satisfied.” Harry grins at a disgruntled Jeremy, and he leaves.
“You know it’s comments like that…” You sniffle as you stand there in your pretty dress and heels. “That make guys just up and leave.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He took one look at you sitting there like that and ran off!”
“So, I can’t even sit in the comfort of my own living room without some douche feeling emasculated? Are you sure you want someone like that fucking you, Y/N?”
“I just wanted to hook up! Christ, now I have to go take care of it myself.” You groan.
“Well, when you’re done, come join me. We can watch My Best Friend’s Wedding.” He leans forward and smiles. “You look really nice tonight, I’m sorry he was an idiot.”
“Thanks.” You wipe your finger under your nose. “Would you make some popcorn or something?”
Alright, some explanation is probably needed here. See, you and Harry met your sophomore year of uni, no, not drunk at some party, in class, actually. You both were education majors, so you ended up having a lot of classes together once you really dove into your major courses. You got paired up on a project together, and there was no separation between the two of you after that.
Normally, Harry wouldn’t have been the type of guy you’d be friends with. To be honest, he dressed like a douchebag when you first met him. You wondered why he’d want to be a teacher. He had floppy curls, wore a snapback with every outfit, and you didn’t think he owned a pair of jeans that didn’t have any rips in them. Although, you did enjoy his Chelsea boots, his sweaters, and his nail polish and rings.
You were innocent, and sort of preppy while he was loud mouthed and scruffy. Your friend groups never merged, but your best friend knew about your friendship with Harry. She’d constantly poke fun and say you had a crush on him. You didn’t. Harry was hot as fuck, anyone with eyes could see that, but you weren’t into him in that way. That was one of the reasons he liked hanging out with you so much. Most girls that tried to be his friend were just trying to fuck, and that could be fun, but sometimes he genuinely wanted to meet up for coffee and have a conversation without it leading to screwing on an extra-long twin bed.
Harry’s friends knew you well. As the years went on, you’d often be the one he’d bring back to his place drunk. You started off by sleeping on the floor, and then one night you realized you both adults and could sleep in the same bed. His friends would give him an equally tough time about you. Sometimes you’d come over and wait in his room for him while he was out with another girl. To some that may have been weird, but nothing was better than drunk platonic cuddles.
There was one night, your senior year, you had woken up with him spooning you. In all the nights spent together, you two never fell asleep or woke up like that. You didn’t shift when you felt his morning wood poking you. His arm was draped loosely over you. You almost wanted to see if he’d make a move, so you pretended to stay asleep a little longer. His hand had slid to your hip and squeezed it, but that was the extent of the interaction. He rolled onto his back, and you did the same. You looked up at him and started giggling.
“It’s not funny.” He groaned, putting his forearm over his eyes.
“Didn’t know I did it for you, Har.” You poked the dimple forming on his face as he smiled.
“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart, happens to every guy in the morning.” He peered down at you and you rolled your eyes.
You had never spoken about it afterwards. You didn’t want to embarrass him. When you both talked about grad school, and got into the same university, he asked you to be his flat-mate.
“You don’t wanna live with Niall and Louis anymore?”
“They’re getting real jobs, they won’t wanna listen to me complain about school. I’ve found a great two bedroom place. I think it could be fun for us. Dontcha wanna live with me, baby?” He pouted at you and you nudged his shoulder and laughed.
“Christ, I hate it when you start getting all beggy. Alright, we can live together.”
He took you in his arms and hugged you. You were both extremely excited. Sometimes it seemed like you and Harry knew everything about each other, but that was not the case. After you moved in and got settled, it was time you revealed something to him. You called him into your bedroom to talk.
“Is everything okay? You’re not having doubts, are you?”
“No! Not at all, I’m glad we’re doing this. I feel safe with you here, and I’m glad we still have classes together. I…I just need to tell you something. Um, I don’t know what you do to...like, when you’re alone, I don’t know what you use, but I know things can pop up geographically, so I just wanted to warn you.” You bit your bottom lip, and turned your laptop around to show him your Only Fans page. His eyes widened, and then he shook his head.
“This is a joke, right? You made a fake website.”
“It’s not fake…” You muttered. “I don’t do lives, I don’t get naked, and I don’t show my face.”
“Then what do you do?”
“I was a dance minor, as you may recall.” He nodded yes at you. “So I make little strip tease videos and blur my face. Sometimes I take lingerie photos too. It’s a wonder what people will pay for.”
“How’d you get into this?” There was no judgement in his voice, he was genuinely curious.
“It started as a joke between Jenna and I, but then we started making money, and it’s enough that I can pay all my bills and live comfortably. I’ve already paid off one of my student loans thanks to this. I don’t even know if you use Only Fans, but I knew you’d probably recognize me or something if you stumbled across it so…I just wanted to warn you.”
“You know…the coffee shop I work at is hiring if you don’t feel like doing this kind of stuff.” He smirked.
“I actually don’t mind it. I essentially work for myself.”
“So you don’t sit in front of your camera and get yourself off with little bunny ears on?”
“No.” You laughed. “Just videos of me dancing in some intricate lighting, and saucy photos.”
“Can I see?”
“Not one of the videos, show me some pictures.”
“Come on. I’ve seen you dressed to the nines before, but I’m having trouble believing you would take any provocative photos.”
“Fine.” You clicked through the various photos, and find a mostly decent one. “Here, you can look at this one.”
His eyes widen again as he scans it over. You could only see your face from the lips down. You had a lollypop pressed to them, and some of the juice from it was dripping down your chin. You were laying on your bed in a pink lace bodysuit, and if he squinted he could probably see your nipples, but he chose against it. Your legs were up against the headboard, crossed at the ankle.
“Well?” You asked.
“It’s, uh, it’s very tasteful.” He cleared his throat. “Thanks for telling me…I…I mean I definitely look at porn sometimes, so…uh…definitely wouldn’t have wanted to accidentally wanked it to you.”
“I doubt you would have even stayed on my page for long. You probably like to watch the really freaky shit.” You grinned and closed your laptop.
“I don’t know, there’s something sort of sexy about someone looking so innocent.”
“And that’s exactly what my viewers seem to say in the comments.”
Harry never brought up your page after that. You didn’t make him promise not to go searching for it, you just figured he wouldn’t. With all that aside, your living situation was working out perfectly. Sometimes Harry would bring home the day old muffins or bagels from the coffee shop, and you both had all the free coffee you could drink.
When you first moved in he was like his old self. He went out on dates almost every weekend. Normally he wouldn’t bring someone back, but once in a while he would. You never minded, you’d bring people back too, but you started to notice a pattern. Most guys either would have a tough time fucking you if he was home, or would end up leaving the way Jeremy did. You weren’t sure why they felt so threatened by Harry.
You supposed Jeremy could have been taken aback by seeing Harry shirtless. He was muscular, but not quite skinny. Buff in a way. He could hurt someone if he really wanted to. Once you’ve changed into some comfy pj’s, you plop down on the couch with Harry, and dive into the bowl of popcorn he made so you could watch your movie.
“So, I take it you’re not gonna take care of things yourself?”
“I’m too annoyed now.” You sigh. “It’s fine. I’ll try my luck with some random when we go out tomorrow night.”
“Good idea.” He throws his arm around you, and you both settle as the opening credits start.
Harry had to be up early for his shift at the coffee shop. After getting some schoolwork done, you took the opportunity to get some other work done. You had to be dressed for the club tonight anyways, so you got dolled up, and took some new photos for your page. You always got comments about your lips, so you’d use blow-pops to kiss against, or to rub against. You got some really great shots in, and got dressed in your regular clothes before Harry got home.
“Got your evening makeup on already? It’ll be hours before we leave, love.” He says as he runs a hand through his hair.
“You’re not the only one that worked today.” You wink at him and he rolls his eyes.
“You know, if I didn’t have all my tattoos I could be doing the same thing you’re doing.”
“Plenty of people with tattoos have pages.”
“The last thing I need is to start working at some school, and have a parent recognize me for the wrong reasons.”
“True.” You nod and go into the fridge. “I’m gonna make some stirfry, are you hungry?”
“I could eat.” He shrugs. “I’m gonna go shower.”
You didn’t necessarily mind that you’re dating life was a little tricky. You had all the domesticity you could need with Harry, however, you were certainly hoping to meet someone tonight at the club. You just wanted to have a meaningless hookup.
After dinner, and having a couple of drinks at home, you and Harry meet up with Niall and Louis at the club. Louis and Harry were laughing over something, so you decide to pay Niall a little attention. You always thought he was cute and funny. He was always nice to you too, as was Louis.
“How are things with your classes?” He asks. “Sort of wish I was doing the grad school thing.”
“Oh, but your job is so cool! Data analysis is riveting.” You giggle against the rim of your drink and he shakes his head. “Classes are good. I’m more so just excited to start teaching, but I have a while for that yet. Practicum last year was such a tease.”
“I bet you’d be a fun teacher, you’d certainly have no problem keeping my attention.” He slings one of his arms around the back of the booth you were sitting in and he inches closer. You smile at him and take a sip of your drink.
“Yeah? Why’s that?” You put your hand on his shoulder and twirl the material of his shirt around your finger.
“Your voice for one thing. It’s smooth, soothing. Your smile is sweet, so that helps too.”
You blush a little from his compliments, and finish your drink.
“Need another, babe?” Harry asks, breaking you and Niall from your little chat.
“I can get it.” Niall says. “Vodka tonic?”
“Please.” You smile and watch him go up to the bar. Louis and Harry look at you. “What?”
“Are you trying to fuck Niall?” Louis asks.
“Of course she’s no-“ Harry says, but he’s cut off by you.
“So what if I am?” She scoffs. “It’s safer than trying to get some guy I don’t know, right?”
“If that’s the case, why not just fuck Harry?” Louis smirks.
Harry death glares Louis as your face scrunches.
“It’s a little cliché, isn’t it?” You say. “Fucking your roommate and best friend? I’ll pass. That’s a load of drama we don’t need.”
“So, what you’re saying is, if Harry wasn’t your roommate or your best friend, you’d fuck him?”
“Hmm…” You tap your chin playfully and look Harry up and down. Before you can answer, Niall returns with your drink, and another round for the guys. “Thank you.” You say to him, and he sits down closely next to you.
“You wouldn’t wanna dance, would you?” Niall asks you.
“I’d love to!”
You both get up and make your way over to the dancefloor. Harry sulks while he plays with the straw in his drink.
“What are you all mopey for, huh?” Louis asks him.
“I don’t really like the idea of them hooking up. Could change the dynamic of things for all of us.”
“Instead of worrying about that, why don’t we try to go meet some ladies of our own, hm?” Louis smiles at Harry, and Harry nods in agreement.
You were having a lot of fun dancing with Niall, and his laugh was infectious tonight. You told him you needed to use the ladies room, and when you came back he was acting like a completely different person.
“Did I do something wrong?” You ask him over the blaring music.
“No! I just…” He looks over at Harry and Louis and then back to you. “We really shouldn’t be messing around like this.”
“We were just dancing.”
“But it was going to lead to something more, no?”
“Did you want it to?”
“Well, yeah, but you’re my friend, and…I wouldn’t want to make anything weird between us.”
“So…you don’t wanna go into the single stall bathroom and have me suck you off?” You bat your lashes at him and his eyes widen.
“Shit.” He says under his breath. “Are you serious?”
He wraps his hand around your wrist, and leads you through the crowd of people. You both go into the bathroom without a single thought and lock the door. You could hear the music faintly as you looked at each other.
“You seemed pretty sure of things before.” You say to him.
“I…I wigged out for a second. I really want this.”
You smile and step forward, pressing your lips to his. His hands go to your hips, and he squeezes you. He tasted like the tequila he had been drinking, and you smile against him. You kiss across his jaw, and to his neck while your hands work to undo his belt.
“You’re okay with this?” You ask him.
“Yeah, go for it. Would it be easier if I sat up on the counter?”
“No, I don’t mind getting on my knees, thanks.” You smirk at him and sink down, tugging his pants and boxers down just enough for his hard dick to spring out. You look up at him, impressed.
“Don’t look so surprised.”
“Sorry.” You chuckle. “Good for you, though, honestly.”
You kiss his tip and he jerks slightly towards you. You wrap your lips around him, and suck on him. His hands move your hair back, and you close your eyes as you work him over. You pump what you can’t fit, or what you don’t feel like fitting, and you hear him panting. This is all you wanted, you just wanted to make someone feel good.
“Y/N, I’m gonna come.” He warns you, and you give his thigh a squeeze to let him know it’s okay.
He comes into your mouth, and you swallow it to not make a mess. He helps you stand up, and then you help him zip his pants. After rinsing your mouth out he grabs you and kisses you. Your eyes flutter closed as he sucks on your bottom lip.
“Would you finger me?” You ask him just above a whisper against your lips.
“I’ll do anything you want.”
Louis was off making out with some girl while Harry was at the bar, brooding. You and Niall come back from the bathroom with flushed cheeks. Harry looks at you, and then looks at Niall. Niall just rubs the back of his neck and looks away.
“Y/N, are you ready to go home?” Harry asks her.
“Um…I was hoping to have another drink, but if you wanna leave we can.”
“I’d like to, yeah.”
You both say goodnight to Niall, and head out. He doesn’t say anything to in the back of the cab, and he’s quiet as you both go inside your flat. He fills two glasses of water and hands one to you.
“What’s wrong?” You ask him.
“Why’d you have to fuck my friend? Of all the guys in there, it had to be Niall?”
“I’m going to bed, I’m not having this conversation with you.” You start to walk away from him.
“So if I took Rachel into the bathroom at club and fucked her, you’d be fine with it?”
“Rachel’s a lesbian, so that’s a moot point.”
“You know what I’m trying to say.”
“I wouldn’t care, Harry. Also, you make it seem like Niall isn’t my friend, when he is. And not that it’s any of your business, but we didn’t do more than diddle each other. I sucked him off, and then I let him finger me, that was it.”
“You know, if you just needed to get off, I’m sure your own hand would have sufficed.” He huffs.
“Sometimes you just wanna feel someone else’s hand.” You say quietly.
“So Niall’s a good enough friend to diddle you, but I’m not? I’m extremely offended.”
“Harry…I don’t have to see Niall every day. It would get weird between us, and you know it.”
“I’m just saying, if you needed some help-“
“Don’t finish that sentence. You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Go put yourself to bed, I’m gonna go wash up.”
“I’m assuming no cuddles tonight then?”
“You’ve assumed correctly, goodnight.”
Harry emerges from his room around ten the next morning, thankful he had the day off from work. You were sitting on the couch in the living room, coffee cup in hand while reading one of your textbooks. He sees you’ve made coffee, and he pours himself a cup.
“Morning.” He yawns as he sits next to you.
“Morning.” You say without looking at him.
“Are you mad at me for some reason? Usually you come to my room after we’ve been out like that, and you didn’t…”
“Harry, do you seriously not remember what happened last night?” He shakes his head no at you. “It just wasn’t a good night for drunk cuddles, okay? Can we leave it at that?”
“Alright.” He shrugs and takes a sip of his coffee. “Do you feel like going to the campus library with me in a bit? I’ve got a paper to work on, and a change of scenery would do be some good.”
“Sure! I have some mock lesson plans I need to work on so that sounds good.”
He watches you get up and go into your room so you can get ready. He sighs to himself, feeling bad for lying to you. He takes his phone out to text Niall.
Harry: I’m sorry about last night…I know I can’t control what you do and who you do it with, and clearly what I said to you didn’t matter anyways
Niall: I was going to listen…but she really wanted it, mate, I’m sorry. It wasn’t anything serious, just two friends helping each other out, alright?
Niall: are you sure you don’t have feelings for her?
Harry: I just don’t think it’s smart for our little circle to comingle like that, that’s all
Niall: whatever you say
“Harry, go get dressed, the sooner we go, the sooner we can come back and watch a movie.”
“Right.” He says with a smile and gets up.
Harry fucked up one night. He didn’t feel like trolling on Tinder for a lay, so he found himself on Only Fans. There were a couple of pages he was subscribed to, but they just weren’t doing it for him tonight. He wanted something a little different, so, against his better judgement…he went to your page. Sometimes he’d check it out just to make sure no one was leaving you any sick comments, he never really went there to ogle you. But because you didn’t use your face, he could use his imagination a little bit. He puts his headphones in, and clicks on one of your free videos.
He smiles when he hears one of your favorite songs playing in the background. You were a skilled video editor, hoping to teach that media arts. The video fades in, and there you are, completely clothed. You start dancing, it wasn’t over sexy, but you had a way about taking your clothes off. You were doing a chair dance, one of your specialties. The video ends with you just about to take your shirt off, and then it fades out with a smirk on your lips.
“Oh, she’s good.” He says to himself.
Leaving people wanting more was certainly key on this site. He sighs, and clicks through a couple of the other free things you had on your page, and then eventually he pays to subscribe. You’d never know it was him, it’s not like he used his real name. He was more curious than anything to see what else you could have on there. He clicks through some of your photos. His jaw drops when he sees you licking a lollypop.
There’s a knock on his door, and he nearly throws his laptop across the room. He exits out of his all his tabs and closes his laptop.
“Hey.” You say, leaning against the door frame.
“What’s up?” He was sweating. Had you seen that you had a new subscriber? Had you somehow figured out it was him?
“I have cramps, can I come lay with you?”
“Oh.” He sighs with relief. “Sure.” He makes some room for you on his bed, and climb on, laying on your stomach.
“What were you up to?”
“Looking for some porn to watch, to be honest with you.” He chuckles as he rubs at your lower back.
“Oh, Christ.” You laugh and nudge his leg. “You didn’t need to let me in.”
“It’s alright, you’re more interesting anyways. How was your day? Feel like I barely saw you?”
“It was good. I had a lot of work to get done so I was at the library, and then I met up with Rach for dinner.”
“Good. She’s finally starting to make some friends at work.” You sit up and move to sit on your bum. “I have a cheeky idea. Let’s find a really bad porn to watch.”
“Yeah! We could find a cheesy one from the seventies or something, stuff our faces with ice cream and have a good laugh.”
“I’ll go get the ice cream, you find one to watch.” He slides his laptop over to you, and gets up.
You knew his password, so you enter it in. You open up his browser, and go on incognito mode. He comes back shortly with a gallon of ice cream and two spoons.
“Okay, I think I’ve found one. Major bush on this woman, and the guy.”
“Incredible.” He laughs and hands you a spoon. “Let’s see how they did it back then. Who knows, I may learn something new.”
“God, porn back then was only made for men.” You scoff, and take a bite of the ice cream. “I mean, these women just lay there and take it! What’s the fun in that?”
“I know, I like it when the girl’s a little more involved instead of just starfishing.”
“I’m all for a guy being on top, but you really shouldn’t just lay there. There’s still plenty a girl can do. Although, I have to say, when I’m not super into it, I just lay there until the guy comes.”
“Why not just speak up and tell him to do something else?”
“At that point there’s no coming back. Besides, you know how fragile the male ego is.” You smirk at him.
“True…although, I think it’s really hot when a girl is vocal in the bedroom. If she’s telling me how she likes it then I know she knows her body, and that image alone is so satisfying.” He takes a slow bite of the ice cream to watch your face.
“It doesn’t get frustrating?”
“Not for me.” He shrugs. “I mean, I’m usually able to figure it out without much help, but I always make sure to ask if it feels good.”
“What a gentleman.” You poke his cheek and he swats it away. “I like it when a guy is vocal too, like, isn’t afraid to moan, that kind of stuff.”
“I never understood why guys are so afraid to moan. If it feels good, let it out.”
You both completely forgot you had an old porn on in the background until you heard an extremely fake moan rip through the speaker. You both laugh hysterically.
“This must’ve been before boobs jobs got popular, those are as natural as they get.” Harry laughs.
“Jesus, I know, look at those things bounce!” You laugh, and then look down at yourself, frowning.
“Well….I have, like, bowling ball tits, like when you go candle pin bowling, is it attractive to watch big, heavy boobs like that?” You point to the screen. “And mine are kinda saggy, and-“
“Please, stop talking about yourself like that. Don’t you have, like, thousands of subscribers on your Only Fans? People clearly like the way you look.”
“They’ve never seen me naked.”
“Still.” He looks down at your covered chest. You were wearing a sweatshirt. “You…not to sound creepy, but you’ve got a great set on you. I’ve always thought so.”
“Yeah, I just never said anything because I didn’t want you knowing I was checking you out.” He smirks and throw one of his pillows at him. “It’s hard not to with some of the shirts or dresses you wear to the clubs sometimes. You really know how to make yourself look sexy.”
“Oh, and I’m not sexy right now?” You chuckle.
“No, you are, it’s just a different kind of sexy. Like, you more cute than anything else, but still totally fuckable.”
“Gee, thanks.” You roll your eyes and take another bite of ice cream. “Mm, we picked a really good flavor this week.”
“I know, way better than last week.”
“I’ve been having fun trying new flavors with you. Gives me something fun to look forward to. Is this twenty-two? Getting excited over ice cream flavors?”
“Pretty soon we’ll be excited over buying a new vacuum, or a dishrack.”
“Oh, I love a good dishrack.”
Harry bursts out laughing, and so do you. You ended up falling asleep with him in his bed, your head cradled to his chest. Harry was always the perfect cure to cramps.
“Oh…hello.” A girl says to you some random Wednesday morning. You were stood in your kitchen making some toast before class.
“Oh, god, he has a girlfriend doesn’t he.” She whines.
“No! I’m Harry’s roommate. Did you spend the night, would you like some coffee?”
“Got scared for a second there. No, I’m all set thank you. Um, have a good one!” She says and leaves the flat.
“Is…is she gone?” Harry whispers from around the corner and you chuckle.
“Thank god.” He sighs.
“Since when do you bring someone home with you on a Tuesday night?”
“I was working late at the coffee shop, and she was there doing homework, and one thing lead to another.” He pours himself a cup of coffee.
“And it was no good?”
“Terrible, I didn’t even ask for her number.”
“What made it so terrible?”
“She just…she wasn’t…doing it for me, I don’t know. There was no connection, Y/N.” He sighs.
“Maybe it’s time you start actually dating and work your way up to fucking someone.”
“That would involve me having to get to know someone, and I can’t stand people.” He pouts.
“Good thing you’re going to be a fucking teacher then.” You laugh. “Hurry up and get ready, or we’ll be late for class.”
Harry gets ready, and you both walk to campus for your K-12 instructors class. You were thankful to have class with Harry, you weren’t sure what you’d do without him. Just having someone to make eye contact with when someone said something stupid, or if the professor did something cringey.
“Hey, Daniel.” You smile up at him. “What’s up?”
“Well, I…I was wondering if you had plans this weekend? On Saturday?”
You look at Harry and he shakes his head no.
“Not that I can think of, no.”
“Great, uh, would you like to go to the movies? We could grab dinner as well.”
“I…I’d like that a lot, um, here.” You take your phone out to hand it to him. He puts his number and texts himself.
“Cool, I’ll text you later.” He moves to go sit down a few rows behind you. You look at Harry with a grin on your face.
“See, dating, it’s sorta fun.” You say to him.
“Wining and dining someone sure is a lot of effort. Don’t think I quite have it in me, but you have yourself a good time, pet.”
You have a wonderful time with Daniel on Saturday night. He took you to Panera, and then to see a comedy. He let you pick the movie, and you were delighted. You shared a lot of laughs, and made out with him in his car before he took you home.
“I ha d a lot of fun.” You tell him.
“Me too.” He says. “Maybe we could do this again sometime?”
“I’d like that.” You smile and get out of his car. When you get up to your flat, you can’t wait to dish with Harry about how your night went.
“Hola chica.” He says to you from the kitchen.
“Late night tacvos, my favorite. Save me any?”
“Course, grab what you like. How was your date?”
“Really good. Daniel’s super sweet.”
“Not sweet enough to bring home?”
“I’m taking my own advice and giving dating a try. He asked me if I wanted to go out again sometime and I said yes. We did kiss for a bit, it was nice.” You shove a taco into your mouth. “Mm, you make the best tacos, Har.”
“Don’t I know it? So…so you kissed, but nothing else?” He mutters as he finishes his food.
“Did you want to?”
“I don’t know.” You shrug.
“Then you shouldn’t go out with him again.”
“What are you talking about?”
“If you didn’t wanna rip his clothes off, it’s probably not gonna last.”
“Lust doesn’t make a relationship.”
“No, but it should be passionate. Even if you’re respectful and wait, you should still wanna fuck the person.”
“Sometimes you have to work up to feeling that way.”
“Nah, when you know, you know.” He winks at you and goes over to the couch. “I was about to watch-“
“Oh my god!” You screech.
“Did you not check the mail earlier?! Kevin and Ashley are getting married! This is their save the date. Holy fucking shit.”
“Makes sense, they’ve been together forever.”
“Well, we have to go, Harry.”
“Okay.” He hears you suck your teeth. “What?”
“No plus ones…”
“So? We’d just go together anyways. We can save money on a hotel room too.”
“That’s true. I just…wow, I couldn’t imagine getting married right now.”
“Like I said, when you know, you know.” He plops down onto the couch and turns the TV on. You sit down next to him. You look at him for a moment, and then turn your attention to the TV. Nothing else really needed to be said.
You hated it when Harry was right. Daniel was nice, but there was no spark. You went on four dates with him, and you didn’t want to fuck him.
“Hey, I was looking on the hotel website for the wedding, the room with the king sized bed is actually cheaper than the one with the two queens. That work for you?” He asks you as he comes into your room holding his laptop.
“Yeah, that’s fine. Just tell me how much I need to Venmo you.”
“Will do, it’s not terribly expensive. I’ll only need a hundred bucks from you.”
“Perfect.” You take your phone and send him the money. “Thanks for booking it.”
“No problemo.” He comes in and sits on your bed. “What are you up to, babydoll?”
“Just putting some mock lesson plans together.” You sigh. “Could definitely use a break, though.” He lays down on your bed and pats the spot next to him. You roll your eyes at him, and he pouts. “Ugh, fine.” You get onto your bed with him. “Happy now?”
“Well, you get to lay your head on my chest all the time. I’d like to do the same. Or…okay, there’s this trend on Tik Tok…could I lay down between your legs?”
“Um…like…with your head in my crotch?” You laugh. “I can put a pillow there and you can lay down if you like.”
“Okay.” You grab a pillow for him, and he gets on his back, resting his head, and looking up at you. You run your fingers through his curls and his eyes flutter closed. “I love it when you play with my hair.” He sighs.
“I knew you were coming in here with a motive. Booking the hotel room to get something out of it, huh?”
“Your nails just feel so good, and you know it.”
“Well, you better return the favor. I like getting my hair played with too.”
“I’ll touch you wherever you want me to, alright?” He yawns. “Just don’t stop for a bit.”
You brush off his crude comment, and does as he says. You liked playing with Harry’s hair, so it wasn’t a burden, and you liked when you two would just get cozy together like this. There weren’t many people you felt this comfortable with.
“Y/N, we need to get going down to the ceremony.” Harry calls from the bedroom of the hotel.
“Well, I wouldn’t be running behind if someone hadn’t taken twice as long as they said they would in the bathroom!”
“Can’t rush perfection, darling.” He smirks to himself.
“Mhm, so what does that make me?” You ask as you walk out of the bathroom. His mouth nearly falls open.
You had gotten your hair into a loose, low bun, with plenty of hair in the front to frame your face. You had a strapless purple dress on with black tights and black heels.
“Um…stunning, you look stunning.”
“Thanks.” You smile and grab your clutch. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” You wink at him and head out.
You both were blubbering messes during the ceremony. Rachel made sure to make fun you both for it. Once the cocktail hour hit, you were good to go. You found your table and sat down. You talked with some other friends and explained how grad school was going. You make it through the speeches and dinner, and then it’s time to dance.
Being at something like this reminded you of being at an old uni party, only more upscale. Ashley and Kevin’s families were around, so the music wasn’t exactly what you’d normally get down to, but there was an open bar that you were able to take advantage of. Partying with Harry was one of your favorite things. He always used to bring you to the best ones. A slow song starts to play, and you giggle as he bows and extends his hand to you.
“You’re an idiot.” You say as you take his hand and he pulls you close to him.
“Ah, but you’re still choosing to dance with me, babe.”
“Only cause I’m too lazy to find someone else.”
“Ha! That’ll be us someday reading vows at our won wedding. I was too lazy to find someone else, so I settled for my best friend.” He smirks at you and swat his shoulder.
“Would you be quiet? Enough of the people here think something’s going on between us as it is.”
“True.” He looks around at a few people’s wandering eyes. “Should we give them a bit of a show?” He slides his hands further down your back, getting dangerously close to your bum.
“Harry!” You squeal and giggle. “Stop it.” You grab his hands put them to their previous spot. “Just dance with me, would you?”
He chuckles and sways around with you. You both got pretty plastered. You couldn’t stop giggling with him all the way up to your room. You sigh once you get your heels off.
“Okay, I’m using the bathroom first.” You say to him.
“Fine.” He sighs and starts unbuttoning his dress shirt.
You head into the bathroom, and use the toilet. You get your tights all the way off and groan when you can’t reach the zipper on the back of your dress.
“Ugh, Harry!” You call for him. “I need your help!”
“Yeah?” He says, stepping into the bathroom in only his boxers. Nothing you hadn’t seen before.
“Oh.” He places a hand on your shoulder, and the other grips the zipper, slowly dragging it down. You clutch the front of it. “You’re not…uh…no bra?”
“No, there’s one built into the dress.” You turn around to face him. “I just need to grab my pj’s and then I’ll need a couple minutes to take my hair out.” You brush by him to go into your suitcase. He takes the opportunity to use the toilet and brush his teeth.
“Need help with anything else?” He asks as you step back into the bathroom.
“Nope, think I can handle the rest, thanks.” You giggle. “Wouldn’t mind some head scratches once I get into bed though.”
Harry gets into bed and waits for you. You come out with your hair a mess, your makeup smeared from rinsing it, and he furrows his brows at you.
“That’s my shirt.” He says as you knee onto the bed.
“Mhm, well, that’s what happens when you ask me to do your laundry for you. I steal your shirts as compensation.”
“Fair enough I suppose. Come here.”
You smile and lay on his chest so he can run his fingers through your hair. You moan softly from it as you relax into him.
“Feels so nice.” You mumble into his chest.
“I can tell.” One of his hands moves to rub your back. He mimics your moaning and you punch him in the arm. “Oi! I won’t love on you if you do that.”
“M’not asking you to love on me, I just wanted me head scratched. Be grateful you get to hear me make those noises, not everyone does.”
“Bet you’d make thousands if you posted something like that on your Only Fans.” He mutters and you move to look at him. “What?”
“Do you…ever look at my page?”
“Sometimes I check your comments to see if anyone’s being rude.”
“Oh…” You swallow. “I make enough doing what I’m doing. I…I’d be too shy to do the really explicate stuff. I also just feel, like, I don’t want just anyone to see me naked, you know? That’s why I don’t go live, everyone would just ask me to take my clothes off.”
“I get that. Wanna keep it private for someone special.”
“Exactly. I mean, I’ve talked about this with you before, but there are plenty of people that are into what I post.”
“You certainly leave them wanting more.”
“I’ve checked out some of the free videos you’ve posted, yeah.” He admits shamelessly. “You’re a very good dancer.” He smiles at you.
“I’m going to sleep.” You yawn and turn over. “Goodnight.” You look over your shoulder at him. “If you behave you can spoon me if you want.”
“What do you think I’m gonna do? Slide my prick between your ass cheeks? Grow up.” He says as he wraps his arm around you. You can’t help but laugh. “However, if I get hard while I’m sleeping you can’t get mad.”
“Suppose it’s not my fault I have such a fat, juicy ass, hm?”
“Go to sleep.” He laughs, and presses his chest to your back.
“Mm, you’re so cozy, Harry.”
“I know I am. Go to sleep, lovie.” He coos, and rubs at your side.
“Love you too.” He sighs and nestles into the back of your head.
“So…you let him spoon you all night, and nothing happened?” Rachel whispers to you at breakfast the next morning.
“Happens more often than not, it’s not a big deal.”
“You two are so fucking weird! I’ve literally never met two people who were close that do what you do. Why not just make the jump? Neither one of you can manage to make another relationship work.”
“I don’t know…I…I just don’t see him like that, and I know Harry. If he really liked me like that he’d go for it.”
“Maybe he’s just scared to fuck it up with you.”
“Exactly, so, let’s just not fuck it up and try anything.”
“What are you two hens clucking about, hm?” Harry says as he sits down, putting a cinnamon roll in front of you. “Had you favorite.”
“I’m trying to watch the carbs…” You mutter.
“Please.” He scoffs. “Would you just eat the fucking pastry? It’s good for you.”
“How is that thing good for me?” You laugh.
“It makes you happy when you eat it. You always hum and smile when you eat a cinnamon roll.”
“How sweet of you to notice.” Rachel remarks. “You’re practically her boyfriend.”
“Rachel.” You seethe, and take a bite of the pastry. You hum softly. “Why do these bloody things taste so good, huh?”
Harry chuckles and rubs the back of your neck briefly as he eats his own breakfast. He and Rachel share a glance, but that’s the extent of that interaction.
“Hey, Harry?” You tap on the outside of his door frame.
“Yeah, babe?” He says, taking his headphones out. It was a Friday evening and you both were doing homework. His eyes widen when he looks at you. “Your face is all flushed, are you alright?”
“Y-yeah, I just…could you come look at something for me?”
“Sure.” He follows you to your room and sits with you on your bed.
“Um...could I…could I show you some new photos I took yesterday? I just finished editing them…and I’m feeling a little self-conscious.”
“Aw, why? You’re so beautiful.” He keeps your cheek and rubs his thumb along your cheekbone. “Course I’ll look ‘em over for you.”
“Thanks.” You swallow and put your laptop on his lap. “So…like usual, they’re not overly explicit, but I feel like my boobs look weird. I should have gotten something with more support.” You blush and point to the photo.
“They’re perfect, you look perfect, Y/N.” You suck your teeth at him. “You do! What else do you want me to say?”
“Okay, what about this one?”
“But what about this one?”
“Perfect, they’re all perfect. I don’t know why you don’t think so.” He frowns and sets your laptop down on your desk. He turns to look at you. “What’s really going on?”
“It’s just…I have all these people leaving comments saying they wish they could know me, date, fuck me…and…like I don’t know any of them! All they know about me is that I can dance, and I look cute sucking on a lollypop. I…if I wasn’t making the money I that I am I’d stop doing it because I just want someone real to say all of those things to me, you know?”
“Y/N…” Harry sighs. “I know you, I wanna date you, and I certainly want to fuck you.”
“I know, it’s so cliché it’s disgusting, isn’t it?” He smirks. “But it’s how I feel. I’m sick of tip toeing around it.”
“How long have you felt this way?”
“Can’t really pinpoint it, I don’t think it’s been long, but it doesn’t feel new either.”
Your eyes well up with tears, and he puts his hand back on your cheek. You lean into it. You felt deeply confused.
“I just never thought we’d…like…I just didn’t think you were into my like that.”
“Well, I am, so…what do you think? We already get along great. We like spending time together. I truthfully can’t stand other people. I think you’re the only person’s day I actually like hearing about. Have you really never thought about it?”
“I don’t know! You never made a move when we were in undergrad, with all those nights we slept next to each other, you never did anything…”
“Yeah, because you were asleep, Y/N.” He deadpans. “What did you want me to do? Feel you up while you were unconscious? Or better yet, make a move while we were both intoxicated?”
“No, of course not.” You shake your head. “I…I don’t know what I wanted. I just felt lucky that I had such a good friend.”
“Yeah, me too.” He sighs. “Look, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, this doesn’t need to be weird. Just know if you wanted to give it a try, I’d be down.”
“You’re genuinely attracted to me, like, physically?”
“Yes.” He chuckles. “And I like what you got going on up here too.” He taps your forehead with his index finger. “But you knew that already. What about me, are you physically attracted to me?”
“Well…yeah, you know you’re hot.”
“I didn’t ask you what I know.” He smirks.
“Okay, yeah, I’ve always thought you were handsome, but you used to really be a douchebag, it turned me off. Made it easier to just be your friend.” You smirk at him and he rolls his eyes.
“M’not like that anymore.” He inches closer to you. You could feel his minty breath fanning over you.
“I know.” You say just above a whisper. The mood had changed immensely. The dim lighting in your room was creating an atmosphere you had never really felt with him before.
“So…I guess the only thing left to figure out is if there’s any real heat between us.” You nod at him as his hand goes back to cradle your cheek once more. “Can I kiss you, Y/N?”
You move towards each other slowly, your lips gracefully pressing against each other’s. You felt scared as your eyes pinched closed. It was scary to kiss your best friend, and what was scarier was that fact that it felt so natural and seamless. He pulls away, just to see if you’ll chase him, and you do, kissing him again. You do the same to him, and he comes chasing after your soft lips.
“Harry.” You whisper as you press your forehead to his.
“Yeah?” He whispers back.
“I…I wanna have sex with you.”
He cups both of your cheeks and pulls your lips back to his. His tongue peeks out to swipe along your bottom lip. He runs his lips back and forth over yours, and you open up for him. Your tongues meet, and you lick against each other, eliciting a moan from the both of you. You tug at the hem of his shirt, and he lets you lift it off. Your run your hands up and down his stomach as you continue to explore each other’s mouths, lips getting puffy and swollen. He sucks your bottom lip into his mouth while he unzips the sweatshirt you’re wearing. He pushes it off your shoulders, and you shimmy it the rest of the way off. He’s met with your bare breasts, and he licks his lips as he looks at them.
Harry pulls you closer to him, and his lips press against your neck. You cling to his biceps as he works his mouth down your chest. He looks up at you as he sucks on one of your nipples, rolling it between your teeth. You can’t help your head from falling back. He slides down to the floor as he continues to kiss on you. Your mouth falls open as he nips and sucks on your stomach, and his fingers hook into your leggings. He looks up at you and you nod. He tugs your leggings and underwear down your legs and gets them all the way off.
“Y/N, you’re sure?”
“Yes, I want you to, please.”
You open your legs for him, and he just about loses it from your confidence. He leans forward and kisses each of your hips. You think he’s about to go for your center, but he sucks on your inner thigh. You flinch from the sensitivity, but it feels good. You make sure to sit up on your elbows so you can watch him. He looks up at you and licks a flat stripe between your folds. He sucks on each of your lips before spreading you apart with his thumbs to focus on your clit. He sucks on it at first, harshly, and you gasp. He uses the tip of his tongue to flick back and forth against it. He runs his hands along your thighs to keep you open for him. You were clenching around nothing. His tongue was warm and wet, and everything you needed.
Your body starts to feel warm all over, you can feel your orgasm start to bubble up from within your lower belly. You let yourself fall back against the bed as you start to pant. Your voice cracks as louder moans begin to rip through your throat. He was sucking and slurping on your cunt, noises you had never heard before while someone was going down on you. And to really push you over the edge, he was moaning into you. Not little whimpers or grunts, genuine moans that were vibrating into you.
“Oh my god!” You cry out. A few tears roll down your cheeks as he continues to lap around you, helping you come down.
He kisses back up your body until he’s hovering over you. He smears his lips over yours, and you grunt, pulling him closer to you. It was the filthiest kiss of your life, completely tasting yourself on him, but you didn’t care. He just made you feel better than anyone ever did. You push him so he’ll on his back, and this time you’re the one to sink onto the floor. You get his jeans and boxers down his legs. Your eyes bug out when you see his large prick slap back against his stomach.
“As if you didn’t already know.” He smirks.
“I mean, I had an idea.”
You spit into your hand and wrap it around his length. He grits his teeth as you start to slowly pump him up and down. You run his tip along your lips, and his mouth falls open. Your tongue presses over his slit and you wrap your lips around him. You suckle his tip, eliciting a moan from him. You hollow your cheeks and sink almost all the way down on him. You just wanted to feel him down your throat. You breathe your nose and just hold him there.
“Y/N.” He stutters.
You slowly pull off of him, a string of spit keeping you connected. You suck in a breath before sinking back down on him, not quite as much as you took before, and you bob up and down his length. You cup his balls and massage them as you make a mess of his prick. There was spit, drool, and precome dripping down your chin. Harry was a panting mess on the bed. His hands were gripping at the sheets, and the sight of him doing that causes you to moan. To see his veins popping out the way they were was enough to make you come again.
“Y/N, fuck, I’m gonna come.”
You moan around him as his come spurts into your mouth. You swallow it all and suck him dry. He pulls you up to him, dumbfounded that you just did what you did.
“I thought you wanted me to fuck you.” He breathes.
“I do, I’ve heard you have pretty good stamina.” You peck his lips. “I’m sure you’ll get hard again soon.”
He groans and shifts his thighs between your legs, making you gasp. He grips your hips and starts moving you back and forth along his tiger tattoo. Your nails dig into his chest as you work to grind against him.
“H-Harry.” You mewl.
“Yeah, ride my fucking leg, baby, show me how you do it.”
“I want you so bad, I wanna fuck you so bad, Y/N.”
“Oh, oh!” You come undone on his thigh. You lean down and press your lips to his, licking into his mouth. Before you know it he’s moving you up his body, turning you around, and licking back into your cunt. “Shit!”
He’s relentless with you, fucking you with his tongue, telling you to bounce up and down on him, and you listen. He sucks on your clit again, and you fall forward, head resting on his thigh. You watch as his cock bloats back up. You’d never know someone to enjoy doing this so much. You kiss on his thigh because you just needed to do something with your mouth. He makes you come again, and he lifts you off of his face.
“Think you can keep going?” He smirks as your head falls back against your pillows.
He grabs your legs and pushes them back so your knees press against the bed. He lifts your bum enough to rest on his thighs, and he dips his tongue back into your cunt. This was some serious teasing. You watch as his tongue goes in and out of you, deeper each time. He reaches forward with one of his hands to rub your clit. It was throbbing for him.
“What, no good?”
“No, it’s amazing, but…I really wanna feel your dick now, please, I know you’re hard again.”
“You just taste so good.” He brings his mouth down to your cunt and sucks on it.
“This won’t be the only time I’ll let your head between my legs, I promise.” You let your legs drop back to lay normally. He sits back as you look at each other. “When was the last time you were tested? I…I’m clean, and if you are too, I’d prefer not to use a condom if you feel comfortable with that.”
“STD test came back negative a month ago when I went in for a checkup. You’re on the pill?”
He leans down to kiss you, and then he pulls back to paint his cock with your wetness that was uncontrollably leaking out of you for him. He presses his tip against your clit, and slides it down your slit. He pushes inside you slowly. He fills you to the hilt, and waits. For a moment he just wants to enjoy how tight and snug you are around him. You push your hips up and start rocking against him.
“Jesus, Y/N, you’re so fucking perfect.”
“Because I’m moving myself on you?” You giggle.
“I just think it’s cute that you’re so goddamn impatient.”
“Would you just shut up and show what you can do with this thing? Or am I gonna have to do all of this myself?”
He accepts the challenge, pulling his hips back, and snapping them forward. You reach behind yourself to press against the headboard so your head doesn’t smack against it. He drives it into you fast and deep. He pushes you to the brink of coming, but he pulls all the way out of you. Before you can complain he flips you over, and grabs your hips. He pulls you back to him and slips back inside. You moan out from the new angle, and the sound of his skin slapping against yours makes your eyes roll back. He gives your bum a light smack and you grunt.
“You can do that a little harder, a little.” You didn’t want him to fully spank you, you weren’t into that sort of thing, but you didn’t mind feeling it a little more. He delivers a harsher smack and you groan again.
“You have the best ass I’ve ever seen.” He smacks you again and you grip onto the pillows. He grips the back of your neck to get a steadier pace going, and he uses his other hand to rub your clit.
“Fuck, Harry. You’re so attentive.” You manage to say. You felt like you could barely breathe.
“I’m gonna ruin you for any other guy.”
“Don’t want any other guy.” You admit. “I don’t want anyone else to fuck me.”
“Christ.” He moans.
His fingers move faster on your clit, and his tip pounds against your g-spot, and you’re coming. You’re coming hard around him. He pulls out and sits up against the headboard. You look up at him, completely frazzled.
“I want you ride me.”
“Okay.” You breathe. You shuffle around and swing your leg over him. You line him up with yourself and sink down on him.
He fondles your breasts as you move up and down on him. He kisses on your chest as you get a rhythm going. He leans back just to watch your tits bounce up and down. He looks up at you and grips you by the back of your neck to pull your mouth down to his. You breathe each other in and out as you moan and gasp. He takes control by gripping your hips, and you cling to him to let him just do what he wanted with you. You tighten around him and his head falls back for a moment.
“Where can I come?” He asks.
“Where do you want to come?”
“You’re okay with that?”
“You’re gonna be the death of me.” He grunts.
You cry out as he does when he comes. You don’t think you had ever felt so full in your life. He kisses you as you both catch your breaths. You tug at his hair, and grind against him. You were close to coming again. He takes the hint and snakes his hand between you both and rubs your clit. Your orgasm rips through you, and you moan into his neck.
“I’m so fucking sweaty.” You whisper.
“Do you wanna take a shower?”
“Yeah.” You look up at him. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Do I still have legs? Because I can’t feel them.”
He puffs out some air as he laughs, smoothing some hair away from your face.
“Yes, you still have legs, Y/N. Should I carry you to the bathroom?”
“Please, I really need to pee.”
He kisses your forehead and slowly lifts you off of him. You clench so nothing falls out. You didn’t want to make a bigger mess of your bed.
“We can sleep in my room and wash your sheets tomorrow, don’t worry about that.” He says as he carries you bridal style to the bathroom.
He sets you down on the toilet and steps out to give you some privacy. Once he hears the water for the shower start he comes back in. He splays a hand on your back and gives you a gentle rub before you both step in. You felt overwhelmed. You just had the best sex of your life with your very best friend. As he reaches for his body wash you swat his hand. He raises an eyebrow at you.
“Would you…would you just hold me?” Your bottom lip quivers, and he pulls you into his chest.
You nestle into him, and just stand under the warm water with him. He cradles your head and lets you cry into him. He starts to cry too, although he’s not really sure why.
“I don’t want anything to get fucked up between us, Harry.” You look up at him, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I love you so much, and I don’t want something bad to happen that’ll make us hate each other.”
“M’not gonna let that happen.” He wipes your tears away, and then wipes away his own. “We’re gonna do this right. We’ll go out on dates, and we’ll see where it goes, and I hope it goes well because I love you too, and I value so many of the things we have with each other.”
You each take turns scrubbing each other down, getting clean. It’s soothing, and calming. You both relax, and get wrapped up into some towels. You run the blow dryer through your hair quickly just so it’s not sopping wet. He gives you one of his bed shirts to wear, and you crawl into bed with him. Being immersed in his scent was exactly what you needed. You rest your head on his chest, and he throws his arm around you.
“When was the last time you actually dated someone?” You ask softly.
“Um…think I was sixteen to be honest with you.”
“Ah, so a while.” You chuckle.
“You literally know my entire sexual history, and I know yours, let’s not pretend we’re both experts with all this.”
“So…we’ll just make this up as we go? I mean, I like that we sleep together sometimes, but I wanna keep my room, I don’t wanna move into the same room.”
“Christ, slow down, we just got together and you’re already talking about moving into the same bedroom?” You swat at his chest and he laughs, kissing the top of your head. “In all seriousness, I feel the same way, I think we should still have our separate spaces. You get pissed off with me easily.”
“Maybe you should try not to piss me off then.”
“Well, now that I know you enjoy a good tonguing, I’m not really worried about it. God, we can make up from a fight with sex instead of watching Dirty Dancing, it’s gonna be incredible.”
“Can…can we not do both?” You look up at him. “I love singing Hungry Eyes with you.”
“Yeah, both is good.”
“And I wanna make sure we clarify what are dates, and what’s just hanging out. I want dates to feel…special, I don’t know.”
“Can do. I think study dates at the library are gonna be my favorite.”
“Because I can rile you up. I’ll sit across from you to play footsie, and then I’ll run my foot up your leg. I’ll make eyes at you. You’ll end up blowing me in the bathroom, it’ll be great.”
“Mm, yes, well, what if my leg’s the one doing the rubbing? I could probably make you come in your pants from my foot on your crotch alone.”
“Okay, no study dates. You know what I would really like, though?”
“Sometimes…sometimes I really miss you when I work double shifts at work, and then I feel bad because you’re here all by yourself…so maybe you could come to the coffee shop more? Hang out, do homework, I’ll give you free food.”
“Sounds like a sweet deal to me.” You bite your bottom lip. “You’re not gonna ask me to give up my Only Fans are you?”
“What? No, why would you even think that?”
“I don’t know…you’re the jealous type, Harry.”
“True…but if that’s what you wanna do for work, I don’t have a problem with it. Can I tell you a dirty secret?”
“I’m subscribed to your page.”
“Yeah…I’ve never wanked to your stuff because I feel like that would be creepy, but I do keep up with what you post.”
“I’m not gonna do it forever, once I get a real job I won’t need it…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, babe. Even if you were doing the really filthy stuff, I wouldn’t care. That’s your business.”
“God, if I wasn’t so tired I’d hop on your dick again.”
He chuckles at that and gives your shoulder a squeeze.
“Any other questions?”
“I don’t think so. Although, I’m not looking forward to telling Rachel. The it’s about time or I told you so is not gonna be fun.”
“Same with Niall and Louis. We just gotta rip the band aid.”
You hum your response and get a little cozier by putting one of your legs over his. It was easy enough to fall asleep. You talked, so you weren’t worried about your friendship ending. If anything, it was all going to get better. Being able to kiss and touch on top of how you were with each other already was just the cherry on top. It didn’t happen over drinks, it didn’t happen in a club, and it didn’t happen by mistake. This was on purpose. He was the person you were supposed to be with, and he felt the same way.
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