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#wicked shitpost crusade
egyptsleastwanted · 1 year
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Heya Kat!
Do you think Mannish Boy counts as an agent of DIO?
I just find it really funny that he hired(?) a baby that just so happened to be fanged, evil + smart. I wonder what the other agents reactions would be to having a baby as a coworker.
hey ash !  that's a good question and if i'm honest i've never really thought about that too much ;w;'  i did some flipping thru the manga recently, so i got a bit carried away and accidentally went overboard with some theories before i reread your ask and realized you didn't ask where he came from, so this post is a bit long.... sorry 'bout that (´▽`")
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mannish boy is an anomaly in my mind ; he just shows up near a well in a saudi arabian village with no trace of his parents whatsoever since the woman that discovered him reveals she isn't his mother... WHERE DID THE BABY COME FROM.
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i had to do a reread to see if baby stando even mentioned DIO at all or if encountering death 13 was just a random encounter on the way to egypt, and now i'm even more puzzled on what to think about him. he mentions 'his allies' and that he heard 'they (the crusaders) were hard to deal with' but never once mentions DIO.
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i have a couple theories about mannish boy, some are a bit far fetched, but this is as good a time as ever to bring them up. he's the son of an unnamed / unlisted agent ;   this is the most logical answer i can think of, especially with how widespread DIO's agents/followers are (i.e. mansaku nijimura in japan and enrico pucci in america) DIO has obviously travelled, so i wouldn't doubt for a second that there could be even more of his agents and followers, especially in countries closer to egypt. he's a banu si'lat  (half human, half jinn) ;   you'll have to forgive me for being a bit vague with this answer, as i'm not muslim myself nor do i know much about islam and it's associated folklore, but i have a bit of a suspicion that something not entirely human is going on with mannish boy. i had a friend explain jinns to me ages ago, and with a bit of research i stumbled upon what's called a banu si'lat, or children of a human and a si'lat (easiestly described as a type of jinn, i don't want to turn this post into an essay ^^'), which can apparently seduce and are able to procreate with humans, so perhaps that could be what's going on. he's a victim of sethan's de-aging ;   this is a MASSIVE reach and a bit shitpost-y, but think about it for a sec... why else would an eleven month old have such control over his stand, know how dangerous scoprions are plus how to kill them, not to mention the smoking? it's super unlikely, especially because of how sethan reverts a stand back to it's childhood state as well. if mannish boy really is a de-aged adult, i doubt he would've had such wicked awesome control over his stand as a literal baby, but it's fun to think about. would i consider mannish boy an agent of dio? i'm a bit on the fence to be honest with you; i wanna say yes because he's canonically classified as an agent, but also no because he's a literal baby... but who knows! perhaps DIO really did just inexplicably hire a baby which is infinitely funnier than any possible scenario and i can't see any of the agents taking him or their eleven month old 'coworker' seriously.
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Welcome, spinsters and foes, to my fic library! This is a masterlist of every fic, drabble, one-shot, and HC I’ve ever written. I also have some edits and theories on here. I will continue to update this as new items are added. If this is a reblog, make sure to click on the original post for the most recent version. last updated: 20 June 2022
main fandoms: TFOTA, SOC, ACOTAR  |  See other fandoms.  |  See tags I use.
rating system: Teen (T), Mature (M), Explicit (E)
fic rec masterlist  |  meme/shitpost masterlist  |  writing tip masterlist |  theories & analysis masterlist  |  sideblogs
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Fine Line (Multi-Part WIP)
Jurdan Quarantine AU- Two vindictive assholes. One shitty apartment. And a vow to get under each other’s skin. Stuck in hate together 24/7, this can only end in a crime of passion. (angst, smut, M/E)
Chapter I    |    Masterlist    |    AO3
Crashing (One-Shot, Completed)
Jurdan Fake Hating AU- You’ve heard of fake dating. Get ready for fake hating. It’s all very romantic. (fluff, smut, steam, M/E)
Tumblr   |   AO3  |  Part II (Teaser)
Just Haven’t Met You Yet (Multi-Part WIP)
Jurdan Pregnancy AU (Canon Compliant)- Jude thinks she’s coming down with a fever. Taryn and Vivi think Jude is pregnant. Jude takes a pregnancy test to prove them wrong. (fluff, T)
Tumblr  |  Masterlist  |  AO3
To Dance With Danger (Three-Shot, Completed)
Jurdan Canon Compliant- Danger was Jude’s constant companion. Cardan would call it her closest friend if he knew not that she often kept her enemies just as close. Fear, slick and icy, wrought his stomach. Jude didn’t need to be warned. She needed to be stopped. (whump, angst, hurt/comfort, GA)
Part I    |    Part II    |    Part III    |    AO3
Silent Knight (Multi-Part WIP)
Jurdan Spy AU- She is not who she is, this Chalet Girl at the top of the world. Find treason, find ruination. Tis the season. (smut, angst, E)
Prologue  |  Masterlist  |  AO3
No Drug Like Me
Jurdan Sex Shop AU- “The tail, full and fluffy and tickling the backs of my knees, perforates between my cheeks like some kind of beautiful perversion of punctuation.” (smut, E)
Tumblr  |  AO3 
I Hate You So Much (One-Shot, Completed)
Jurdan Canon Compliant- The Wicked King Chapter 15 explicit rewrite/continuation. (smut, hate sex, E)
Tumblr  |  AO3
My Strange Addiction (One-Shot, Completed)
Jurdan Canon Compliant- “Deleted scene” from TWK that takes place between the end of chapter 15 and beginning of chapter 16. (angst, T)
Tumblr   |   AO3
King (One-Shot, Completed)
Jurdan Canon Compliant- Four words: Jurdan. Throne. Tail. Smut. (smutty smut smut, E)
Teaser    |    Tumblr    |    AO3
Holy (One-Shot, Completed)
Jurdan Canon Compliant- “You’re a liar. A dirty, mortal liar.” (E is for Everybody be sinning in this fic)
Tumblr    |    AO3
We’re All Mad Here (Multichapter WIP)
Jurdan College AU- Tenacious student, Jude Duarte, discovers a dark underworld in the heart of RGU. It’s just a game of Russian Roulette. Harmless, as long as you’re the one with the gun. (angst, eventual smut, M)
Part I    |    AO3    |    Masterlist
You Are (Two-Shot WIP)
Jurdan Letter Writing AU- Jude tells Cardan she’s sad she didn’t get to read the letters he wrote her. Cardan is determined to rectify this. (toothrotting fluff, T)
Part I    |    Part II (In progress!)    |    AO3
The Unwitching Hour (WIP)
Jurdan Charmed AU- This started off as a drabble. Now I’m turning it into a one shot in honour of Folktober. Witchy urban fantasy type thing.
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make up (One-Shot WIP)
Jurdan Canon Compliant, Mortal World Adventures- Cardan coerces Jude to take him and Oak to Sephora. (toothrotting fluff, GA)
Teaser    |    Tumblr    |    AO3
Wicked Game (One-Shot, Completed)
Jurdan Canon Compliant, Mortal World Adventures- The High King and Queen of Elfhame pay Laser Crusade visit. A laser tag date gone horribly right. (smutty fluff, T)
Trailer    |    Tumblr    |    AO3
Only You (One-Shot, Completed)
Jurdan Modern AU- Cardan throws Jude a houseparty for her birthday. Basically my proposal for a Nicasia/Taryn ship (Nicaryn) ft. tipsy Jude, Cardan as a love guru, and a pretty heavy (and richly deserved) lambasting of Locke. (toothrotting fluff, T)
Trailer    |    Tumblr    |    AO3
Cold Hands (Warm Hearts) (Headcanon, Completed)
Jurdan Ice Skating HC- Ice skating is a favourite pastime for Elfhame’s most high royal couple. (fluff, T)
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Stay In the Dark (One-Shot, Completed)
Feysand Canon Compliant- During the months of their Bargain, Feyre discovers the wonders of reading and Rhys discovers the hell that is the mating bond. Prompt fill: “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” (angst, fluff, soft focus steam, M)
Tumblr  |  AO3
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Ace of Spades (Multichapter WIP)
Kanej + Wesper Canon Compliant- Two years since the events of Crooked Kingdom, the Crows are back and better than ever (or barely holding themselves together) in a swashbuckling hunt across oceans that leads them to legendary catacombs, a secret society, mythical creatures, and- if everything goes as planned- a lost treasure. (toothrotting fluff, angst, GA)
Chapter 1    |    AO3    |    Masterlist
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Two Pieces (Drabble, Completed)
Manorian Canon Compliant- Manon can’t sleep, Dorian takes her on a walk through Rifthold.
Tumblr    |    AO3
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TFOTA Edits
He cannot fail to notice my scars. (Jude)
Just come home. (Cardan)
Nice things don’t happen in storybooks. (Taryn)
Kill him before he makes you love him. (Jude)
He’s flint, you’re tinder. (Jurdan)
Something to fear. (Jude)
I will become so much worse. (Jude)
I could become... Jude Duarte. (Jude)
Desire is not unlike Mithridatism. (Jude)
High King and Queen of Elfhame (Jurdan)
By you, I am forever undone. (Jurdan Steam Week playlist)
An Autumnal Getaway (Folktober 2020)
Sharpen your blade. (TCP)
This is the least of what I can do. (Jude)
Father, I am what you made me. (Jude)
All forests are magic. (TCP)
Well, wife. (Cardan)
Cardan’s petnames for his wife (Cardan)
That’s what comes of hungering for something (Jude)
And yet my heart is buried with you (Cardan)
We are hard (Jurdan, feat. Margaret Atwood)
Hesitations Outside The Door (Jurdan, feat. Margaret Atwood)
Fic Edits
A dirty, mortal liar. - for Holy by @slightlyrebelliouswriter23​ 
Until we spar again. - for Fine Line by @slightlyrebelliouswriter23​
She would probably get him nothing but trouble - for Everything I Didn’t Ask for by @clockworkgraystairs 
And while I’d die a happy man under your hand - for Here For You by @clockworkgraystairs
Let it dazzle you. Let it defy you. - for Everything I Didn’t Ask For by @clockworkgraystairs
TFOTA Social Media AUs
Cardan Greenbriar Instagram AU- Part I   |   Part II
Caraval Edits
She imagined loving him would feel like falling in love with darkness
I waited for him to return, but finally I fell asleep alone beneath the stars
Headers
Maybe it isn’t the worst thing to want to be loved
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Jude isn’t Balekin’s murderer; she’s the fulfilment of his curse
Why Cardan sleeps in the chambers of the lover of the High King
True Names
The Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland book
Why did Eva run from Madoc?
On curses and geases
On Taryn, jealousy, and Nicardan
Why Jude’s feelings seemed sudden
Ageing in Faerie
Ch. 15 vs. Ch. 21
My thoughts on HTKOELTHS
Meaning of “clay” in Undersea threat
THEORIES AND ANALYSIS MASTERLIST
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Jurdan dates
Letter Writing HC
Nicaryn headcanons
What music would TFOTA characters listen to?
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ao3feed-fma · 4 years
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Shrek and Friends Bizarre Adventure: Shitpost Crusaders
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2y6alFX
by Shrekanankin
Part 3 of the Shrek and Friends Bizarre Adventure saga. It just takes plot elements from Stardust Crusaders, Star Wars, and a bunch of other iconic stories and pretends to be original or something like that. This is just something Family Guy or South Park would do. The best character in this whole thing is probably Ghost Rider, since he's just a badass.
Words: 27, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Shrek (Movies), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Bee Movie (2007), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One, The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Marvel, DC Animated Universe (Timmverse), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Trek, Gorillaz, LazyTown, Super Smash Brothers, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Dragon Ball, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Metal Gear, Warhammer - All Media Types, BlazBlue, Mortal Kombat - All Media Types, Disney - All Media Types, Spawn (Comics), Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Cory in the House, Bionicle - All Media Types, Undertale (Video Game), South Park, Family Guy (Cartoon), The Simpsons, Rick and Morty, Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! RPF, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Xenoblade Chronicles, Weird Al Yankovic (Musician), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, 北斗の拳 | Hokuto no Ken | Fist of the North Star, Gravity Falls, Who Killed Captain Alex? (2010), Johnny Test (Cartoon), Fairly OddParents, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), Berserk (Anime & Manga), Persona Series, Invader Zim, Devil May Cry, John Wick (Movies), Killer Bean Forever (2009), RWBY, Monty Python RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Characters: Shrek (Shrek), Barry Benson, Glanni Glæpur | Robbie Rotten, Johnny Test, Murdoc Niccals, Stuart "2D" Pot, Prowl (Transformers), Optimus Prime, Bumblebee (Transformers), Ironhide (Transformers), Ratchet (Transformers), Jazz (Transformers), Mirage (Transformers), Sideswipe (Transformers), Cliffjumper (Transformers), Vector Prime, Starscream (Transformers), Megatron (Transformers), Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Trunks Briefs, Al Simmons, Ghost Rider (Marvel), Ragna the Bloodedge (BlazBlue), Yuuki Terumi | Susanoo, SpongeBob SquarePants, Peter Griffin, Simon (Gurren Lagann), Mario (Nintendo), Luigi (Nintendo), Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Cosmos (Transformers), Rodimus | Rodimus Prime, Timmy Turner, Goku Black, Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty), Morty Smith, Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles), Dante (Devil May Cry), Vergil (Devil May Cry), Dimēn | Dimentio, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Steven Armstrong, Raiden (Metal Gear), Samuel Rodrigues, Yoko Littner, Kamina (Gurren Lagann), Russel Hobbs, Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Yagami Light, Dio Brando, Kujo Jotaro, Joseph Joestar, Solid Snake, Victor von Doom, Clark Kent, Jonathan Joestar, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Johnny Cage, Hanzo Hasashi | Scorpion, Kuai Liang | Sub-Zero, Robert Edward O. Speedwagon, Shockwave (Transformers), Captain Falcon (F-Zero), Bill Cipher, Dib (Invader Zim), GIR (Invader Zim), Funny Valentine, Hulk (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Hal Jordan, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Drift | Deadlock, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Edward Elric, Homer Simpson, Glenn Quagmire, Joe Swanson, Cleveland Brown, John Wick, Jack Bean, Lewa (Bionicle), Onua (Bionicle), Pohatu (Bionicle), Takanuva (Bionicle), Jaller (Bionicle), Donkey (Shrek), Lord Farquaad (Shrek), Maggie Simpson, Bart Simpson, Patrick Star, Nijimura Okuyasu, Higashikata Josuke (JoJo: Diamond is Unbreakable), Kishibe Rohan, Giorno Giovanna, Adam Taurus, Weiss Schnee, Elita One, Chris Griffin (Family Guy), Noodle (Gorillaz)
Relationships: Hahli/Jaller (Bionicle), Weiss Schnee/Neptune Vasilias, Elita One/Optimus Prime, Kamina/Yoko Littner
Additional Tags: Rescue Missions, Parody, Crack, Crack Crossover, cutaway gag, I'm gonna keep adding characters, I'm gonna keep adding fandoms, I Will Go Down With This Ship
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2y6alFX
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ao3feed-brucewayne · 4 years
Text
Shrek and Friends Bizarre Adventure: Shitpost Crusaders
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2y6alFX
by Shrekanankin
Part 3 of the Shrek and Friends Bizarre Adventure saga. It just takes plot elements from Stardust Crusaders, Star Wars, and a bunch of other iconic stories and pretends to be original or something like that. This is just something Family Guy or South Park would do. The best character in this whole thing is probably Ghost Rider, since he's just a badass.
Words: 27, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Shrek (Movies), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Bee Movie (2007), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One, The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Marvel, DC Animated Universe (Timmverse), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Trek, Gorillaz, LazyTown, Super Smash Brothers, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Dragon Ball, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Metal Gear, Warhammer - All Media Types, BlazBlue, Mortal Kombat - All Media Types, Disney - All Media Types, Spawn (Comics), Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Cory in the House, Bionicle - All Media Types, Undertale (Video Game), South Park, Family Guy (Cartoon), The Simpsons, Rick and Morty, Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! RPF, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Xenoblade Chronicles, Weird Al Yankovic (Musician), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, 北斗の拳 | Hokuto no Ken | Fist of the North Star, Gravity Falls, Who Killed Captain Alex? (2010), Johnny Test (Cartoon), Fairly OddParents, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), Berserk (Anime & Manga), Persona Series, Invader Zim, Devil May Cry, John Wick (Movies), Killer Bean Forever (2009), RWBY, Monty Python RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Characters: Shrek (Shrek), Barry Benson, Glanni Glæpur | Robbie Rotten, Johnny Test, Murdoc Niccals, Stuart "2D" Pot, Prowl (Transformers), Optimus Prime, Bumblebee (Transformers), Ironhide (Transformers), Ratchet (Transformers), Jazz (Transformers), Mirage (Transformers), Sideswipe (Transformers), Cliffjumper (Transformers), Vector Prime, Starscream (Transformers), Megatron (Transformers), Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Trunks Briefs, Al Simmons, Ghost Rider (Marvel), Ragna the Bloodedge (BlazBlue), Yuuki Terumi | Susanoo, SpongeBob SquarePants, Peter Griffin, Simon (Gurren Lagann), Mario (Nintendo), Luigi (Nintendo), Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Cosmos (Transformers), Rodimus | Rodimus Prime, Timmy Turner, Goku Black, Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty), Morty Smith, Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles), Dante (Devil May Cry), Vergil (Devil May Cry), Dimēn | Dimentio, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Steven Armstrong, Raiden (Metal Gear), Samuel Rodrigues, Yoko Littner, Kamina (Gurren Lagann), Russel Hobbs, Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Yagami Light, Dio Brando, Kujo Jotaro, Joseph Joestar, Solid Snake, Victor von Doom, Clark Kent, Jonathan Joestar, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Johnny Cage, Hanzo Hasashi | Scorpion, Kuai Liang | Sub-Zero, Robert Edward O. Speedwagon, Shockwave (Transformers), Captain Falcon (F-Zero), Bill Cipher, Dib (Invader Zim), GIR (Invader Zim), Funny Valentine, Hulk (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Hal Jordan, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Drift | Deadlock, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Edward Elric, Homer Simpson, Glenn Quagmire, Joe Swanson, Cleveland Brown, John Wick, Jack Bean, Lewa (Bionicle), Onua (Bionicle), Pohatu (Bionicle), Takanuva (Bionicle), Jaller (Bionicle), Donkey (Shrek), Lord Farquaad (Shrek), Maggie Simpson, Bart Simpson, Patrick Star, Nijimura Okuyasu, Higashikata Josuke (JoJo: Diamond is Unbreakable), Kishibe Rohan, Giorno Giovanna, Adam Taurus, Weiss Schnee, Elita One, Chris Griffin (Family Guy), Noodle (Gorillaz)
Relationships: Hahli/Jaller (Bionicle), Weiss Schnee/Neptune Vasilias, Elita One/Optimus Prime, Kamina/Yoko Littner
Additional Tags: Rescue Missions, Parody, Crack, Crack Crossover, cutaway gag, I'm gonna keep adding characters, I'm gonna keep adding fandoms, I Will Go Down With This Ship
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2y6alFX
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