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#will i stop consuming dairy
babyfairy · 1 year
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i’m growing my hair out again 😐😐😐 we’ll see how long it lasts LMAO i just haven’t felt like cutting it lately i kinda miss it being long!
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I just now realised that the nausea, bloating, and stomach pain I always have are, in fact, not be something that people commonly have and that I may actually be lactose intolerant… perhaps.
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smoosnoom · 1 year
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daily compliment #10: you are my favorite poet💗
i am dunking u in almond milk
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I’ve converted my family to preferring dairy free/vegan butter alternatives lmaoooo
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original-punks · 7 months
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snacks to help kill the depression 🥹
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homosexul hijinks shall ensue (i cannot be stopped)
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snekdood · 1 year
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Commercial food brands:
People aren't buying your products bc you put milk in everything and no vegan options. People are learning that eating SO MUCH MILK AND MEAT is NOT actually great for you and your body and also makes ya constipated. I think maybe yall should invest in vegan options and alternatives to your popular products, then you wont lose so many people to being fed up and ultimately resorting to cooking for themselves since like most every popular food brand has 0 alternatives.
#my stomach does Not appreciate having to eat anything w milk and meat in it#aside from any morals i have for myself about eating animal products. my stomach does Not like sitting there tryna digest this shit#and i also dont like it and being constipated like all the time :|#obviously im an Anti Milk Propaganda blog (in spite of being hindu ??) but this isnt even about how milk powder is in everything which it#is and its really annoying. this is about how in general this shit isnt sustainable if you're trying to gain as many consumers as possible#like health is a huge thing for ppl now ppl dont wanna just sit there and mindlessly eat whatever crap no matter whats in it#also okay i dont think its impossible to ethically consume milk. i do believe thats probably what most hindus do#its more like a. we're not cows so why are we doing this kinda thing. like i think we only started consuming milk outta desperation#and lack of other food options but now we got a whole lot more options so idk.#im a snake-man so im just like. avoidant of milk in general djfhhgfdhg. i've always hated how dairy tastes .-.#im sorrey shiva pls forgive me u-u#nvm just looked up the dairy industry in india and its Not looking good out here boys :T#i trust that like ppl with their own cows are good to them but uh... industries gonna industry no matter who gets hurt huh#anyways i need to stop reading about this because im already crying and i dont need to anymore 😢👍#not gonna act like its better in the us but hearing about this stuff and seeing any imagery of it just makes me cry a lot
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sillygeeseys · 2 months
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Trying one of these out! Thought it'd be silly!
20 notes, and I'll post more of my own art ✅
30 notes I'll show them to my art teachers✅
40 notes and I'll fight to shower more✅
50 notes I'll start writing poetry again ✅
60 notes and I'll hang up the art I've been putting✅ off
70 notes, and I'll name all 60+ of my Clowns ✅
80 notes and I'll try eating more often (especially at lunch with my friend) ✅
90 notes and I'll draw more overall ✅
Adding to this because you guys exploded it-
500 and I'll ask people to hang out with me more
550 and I'll post some singing stuff I'm proud of/working on
600 and I'll show my entire Clown collection
650 and I'll write more Creepypasta fics I've been thinking about
700 I'll start posting about my fics
800 and I'll actually watch the Matpat goodbye videos (I even avoided Goodbye internet, I'm in denial)
30,000+ notes, and I'll finally stop consuming so much dairy with my lactose intolerance.
(No limits, no due dates, I'm kinda curious to see how Tumblr works its magic lol)
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chthonickore · 2 years
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Too much cheese on pasta incident, tummy hurted
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acti-veg · 9 months
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Denying the role that individuals need to play in combating the climate crisis is the leftist version of climate change denial. Anyone responding to suggestions of realistic, accessible changes to reduce your own impact with anything resembling ‘100 companies are responsible for most of our emissions so this is pointless’ are engaging in science denialism.
There is no way that collective action takes place without individuals making changes in their own lives. Yes, the rich are more responsible than the poor and yes, what we need is systematic change. However, there absolutely are things we can and should be doing to reduce our own impact and put pressure on polluting industries through direct action and boycott.
These include stopping or reducing flying, eliminating or drastically reducing our consumption of meat and dairy, buying second hand where possible, repairing, recycling and supporting environmental action and rewilding efforts. None of this in isolation will mend the world but its a hell of a lot better than passing the buck while refusing to make any changes in our own lives.
I know that the idea that climate change is caused by someone else; somewhere else, and that it’s up to them to change instead of us is seductive rhetoric, but it’s also extremely dangerous. It encourages the kind of apathy that plays directly into the hands of corporations who want us to feel powerless and to continue to consume as we do now.
We can’t just sit around and wait for The Revolution; we have to live revolutionary lives.
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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 8 months
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Hold Me
Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, slight Sam Winchester x little sister!reader
Requested by Anonymous
Synopsis: various times that Dean comforts you because of John.
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You and Dean had a special bond. Even before Sam had gone off to college and John disappeared, the two of you had been inseparable since the day John first placed you in Dean’s arms.
He’d been just a teenager then, and you barely a toddler. But he’d flashed you a genuine smile, and you’d giggled, and from that moment on, nothing could separate you.
Dean was the one you always went to when you needed anything, partially because of how close you were and partially because you had no one else.
John was far too consumed with the big picture for you to ever feel comfortable talking about your personal problems, and while you loved Sam, he always tried to psychoanalyze your problems, which was never how you felt like dealing with them.
Dean, however…
“Commere baby,” Dean pulled you, his four year old little sister, into his lap, rocking you gently as you cried. John had been gone for five days, and you missed your daddy.
“Dad’s gonna be home soon, really,” Sam tried to soothe you, but you only cried harder.
“Hey, can you bring me her backpack?” Dean asked. Sam tossed it to him.
“Are you alright with her? I want to go get us some dinner,” Sam suggested, feeling bad but also desperate to get away from your crying. You’d been upset for the past couple of days, and he couldn’t take much more.
“Yeah, I’ve got her, bring me back a feast.”
After Sam was gone, Dean lifted you so you were hanging onto his neck and began to rummage through your bag. He came up with a small sippy cup, and went to the fridge to fill it with milk. After heating it up in the motel microwave, he sat back down on his bed and settled you into his lap, placing the cup into your tiny hands.
You quieted almost instantly, bringing the cup to your lips and drinking greedily.
“There you go,” Dean grinned, running his fingers through your hair. “Never too old for the warm milk, works every time, eh?”
You didn’t respond, to intent on the cup in your hands, but you leaned your head against Dean’s stomach, taking a few deep breaths as you finished your drink.
By the time Sam got back, you were fast asleep in Dean’s arms, who was softly humming Metallica.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Sam’s words were meant to be soothing, but you just shook your head.
“Dad says it was.”
“Well he-“
“Sam, you’re with me. Y/N, ride with Dean,” John walked past his kids as he headed for his truck, and Sam reluctantly followed.
You climbed into the Impala without another word, and you rode in silence with Dean for several long minutes.
“Why are we turning?” You’d tried to avoid speaking, because you knew Dean would notice your voice thick with tears. But you couldn’t resist questioning him when he stopped following John’s truck.
“Because the Dairy Queen is this way,” Dean answered simply.
“What?”
“What, you think I didn’t notice the sniffling and the way you can’t even turn in my general direction? You ain’t subtle kid, now what kind of ice cream do you want?”
You gave up trying to hide your tear stained face and turned to look at your brother.
“I don’t get it. I screw up the hunt, and you’re buying me ice cream?”
“Ok first of all, you didn’t screw up the hunt that bad, ok? I know it was your job to reassemble the guns, and-“
“Yeah, and I lost a piece, and it didn’t work! You could’ve-“
“Hey now,” Dean’s voice rose, and you stopped. “Would you just listen? I know, but that wasn’t the only gun we had on the hunt, we were fine one gun short. Look, I’m not gonna pretend you didn’t make a mistake ok? But everyone makes mistakes, and I mean everyone. And dad went at you pretty hard, and I know how much you hate it when he yells. So ice cream it is, now are you gonna tell me what you want or should we just go?”
Five minutes later, you were on the road again, your tears forgotten as both of you belted out to Dean’s Metallica tape between bites of ice cream.
The mood in the motel room had been solemn, to say the least, but no one was willing to bring it up. John had passed away just days ago, and the three of you had barely spoken to each other since. Sam had tried to talk to you, mostly because he knew that every time you went to “take a walk”, you really just wanted to cry your eyes out. But the last thing you wanted to do what talk about John. He wasn’t always the best man, but he was your dad.
What made matters worse, however, was that even though Sam had tried several times to help you, Dean seemed to be avoiding you entirely. You didn’t expect him to try to talk about it, that wasn’t his style, but you also didn’t expect him to ignore your existence.
But when Sam left for a food run and the time came to confront him about it, you were nervous. What if he just needed some space? After all, he was probably the closest to John.
Well, if that was the case, then maybe you could help him this time, but you couldn’t leave things the way they were, it was too hard.
“Dean?”
Dean looked up from John’s journal, which he was reading while stretched out on his bed.
“What’s up?”
“Um…” now that the moment had come, you weren’t sure of what to say. “How’s it going?”
He sighed, gesturing at the book.
“Not great, haven’t found anything of use yet.”
You swallowed, “That’s not really what I meant. How’s it going…like with you?” You cringed inwardly. This sounded ridiculous, even to your own ears.
Dean closed the book, frowning.
“Fine.”
You sighed, “No, really.”
Dean scoffed, “Who are you, Sam? What’s going on with you?”
“I just…I wanted to know,” you shrugged.
“You and me both know that you don’t want to stand here and talk about feelings.”
“It’s better than not talking at all,” you dropped your gaze at this, too embarrassed to meet Dean’s eye. Maybe you were wrong, he hadn’t been avoiding you, he was just quiet or something.
“What do you mean? We can talk, we’re talking now.”
You gained a little bit of your courage back.
“Yeah, and this is the first time in days. Dean, you’ve barely even looked at me since…” your breath caught. You couldn’t say it, not yet.
Dean seemed to catch on that you were done, and he sighed.
“Kid, I don’t know what you’re-“
“I’m not just a kid anymore!” You didn’t mean to yell, and when Dean’s eyebrows rose in surprise you brought your voice down. “Please, don’t lie to me.”
Dean opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. Finally, he cleared his throat, and found the words.
“I can’t fix this.”
“What?”
Dean put the journal down and gestured for you to get closer, so you climbed up on his bed and sat next to him.
“I can’t just buy you a treat and play Metallica and wait for you to stop crying, ok? I can’t put a bandaid on this. I can’t distract you from it, it’s too big.”
You looked up at your big brother, and his eyes looked more broken now than they did when John died.
“You wanted to fix this for me?”
“Of course,” Dean reached up and brushed a stray tear off your cheek. “That’s all I ever want to do. But baby…I can’t. I’m sorry. I’ve been avoiding you, you’re right. And it’s because I know I can’t make this go away.”
“You don’t have to make it go away. I don’t need an answer to all life’s problems, I just need my big brother.”
“But what do you need me to do?” He demanded desperately.
“Be here.”
You could see in his eyes that it wasn’t enough, he needed to know he was helping you. You sighed softly.
“Open your arms.”
He frowned, but obeyed. You scooted closer, depositing yourself in his lap and leaning your forehead against his chest. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, one hand coming up to cradle your head.
“I just want this,” you whispered, and you felt Dean’s arms tighten comfortingly around you.
“Then I’m here,” he promised.
When Sam came back, tired and worn down, he felt a smile creep onto his lips when he opened to motel door to see you asleep in Dean’s arms, and it took him less than a second to recognize Dean’s humming as Metallica.
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cosmicanakin · 2 months
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blast from the past | part two.
pairing. vinnie hacker x female reader.
outline. shopping for groceries late at night, coincidentally vinnie and his possessive bimbo girlfriend are there too.
contains. angst, violence, toxic relationships, strong language, unhealthy coping mechanisms, trust issues.
authors note. i love reader in this one she's such a badass. not proofread !!!
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part one.
a week had passed since that disastrous night at the charity gala. you've been trying your best to keep busy and occupy your mind elsewhere, anything to avoid dwelling on memories better left buried. inevitably though, thoughts would drift back no matter how hard you tried shoving them down. the sting of betrayal lingered sharpest from vinnie, someone you never thought capable of such blind trust in strangers over you.
tonight found you wandering the aisles of the local supermarket down the street, needing essentials to fill your empty fridge now that work consumed all hours. late evening meant fewer crowds ideally, wanting solitude to wallow in the peaceful sounds of the freezer humming. headphones drowned out the world as you aimlessly surveyed options, pausing by the mozzarella to snap a pic for inspiration.
checking your phone brought a notification, some silly video your friend had sent to lift your gloomy mood lately. laughter died abruptly in your throat at what appeared next in your peripheral vision, however. vinnie stood not 10 feet away, equally frozen as startled eyes met yours across the dairy aisle. he looked as taken aback by the chance encounter as you, and hovering behind a cart steered by none other than the wicked blonde witch herself.
blood turned to ice in your veins at the smirk unfurling across her glossed lips, recognizing you with unabashed glee. meeting vinnie's gaze again you quickly turn on your heel, determined to escape before venomous words can fly.
"y/n wait!" his voice sounded behind you as feet shuffled in pursuit. refusing to give him or the bitch further satisfaction, you picked up your pace eyes fixed ahead unwaveringly. a hand grasped your shoulder to spin you around, meeting empty air as you sidestepped nimbly out of reach.
"what do you think you're doing chasing after her, vinnie? don't you remember what she did to me at the gala? that slut isn't worth your time."
you froze in your tracks at her sardonic tone carrying easily the short distance, blood slowly beginning to boil at the audacity. slowly turning around, you saw the blonde grab vinnie harshly by the wrist to drag him back, he struggled against her iron grip to no avail, equally taken aback by her words. neither noticed your approach until you stood only inches away, leveling a withering glare her way.
"i may be a fucking slut, but at least i'm not a crazy possessive cunt. and you should work on how to keep that mouth shut before you end up in a body bag, bitch." without awaiting a reply you shoved vinnie aside with enough force to send him stumbling into the shelves.
the blonde lunged at you with claws outstretched and you swiftly deflected, delivering a swift right hook to her pert nose that crunched satisfyingly. she howled clutching her face as blood poured between slender fingers, knees buckling to the slick floor tiles. not wasting the opening, you straddled her torso raining down blows with practiced form and efficiency, releasing weeks of pent-up rage and hurt.
distantly you registered vinnie's shouts to stop somewhere in your red haze of adrenaline and endorphins. it wasn't until strong arms circled your midsection forcibly yanking you off the whimpering mass of fake tits and extensions that your assault relented. still panting heavily as the world swam back into focus, you glanced down at the mess of smeared blood and makeup staining your knuckles with a rush of satisfaction.
shaking off vinnie's hold roughly, you scanned the aisle as people watched the spectacle unfolding. forgetting your discarded basket you marched past without a backward glance, leaving the store and its chaos behind in your wake as whispers steadily grew louder in the distance.
arriving home still a wired mess, you attempted to steady your whirring thoughts long into the night. raw feelings still simmered just below boiling point, exacerbated further by unwelcome memories refusing to leave you be. how could vinnie so quickly side against you even after everything, believing her manipulative lies over your history together?
it was well after midnight when your phone buzzed on the bathroom counter as you cleaned up your knuckles so they don't get infected, the screen illuminating vinnie's contact photo. against better judgment your thumb slid automatically to accept the call, holding the device weakly to your ear.
"y/n, i know you're angry but please we need to talk. meet me at the overlook from our first date..." without waiting for a reply he hung up, leaving you little choice but to drag your exhausted body back into restless motion once more.
the overlook held a dear place in your heart, somewhere vinnie had first taken you during happier times together. perched atop the hill it afforded gorgeous sweeping views of la's twinkling skyline as stars shone brightly above, serenading lost souls who found solace beneath its glow. you couldn't deny the poetic justice or closure meeting there again may provide, no matter the fresh pain it stirred.
parking alongside vinnie's car just as the time on your dashboard struck 12:30, you stepped out into the chill night air slowly making your way toward the rusted bench. he sat waiting silhouetted against the cityscape, head rising as footsteps crunched gravel announcing your arrival. you gazed out over the glittering city wordlessly, keeping distance and walls firmly in place.
"y/n...i know apologizing can't make up for the shit i pulled or how badly i hurt you. stephanie, she's...trouble, to say the least. but none of that should have given me excuse to turn on you like that when you've never given me reason not to trust you with my life." his tone held unmistakable remorse, struggling to find the right words under your stony silence.
"my actions were inexcusable and you didn't deserve the shit she caused. i was a coward for not standing up to her manipulations sooner. you have every right to still be angry with me and i won't blame you if you never forgive what happened..."
honestly you didn't know how to feel or process the jumble of warring emotions wreaking havoc inside. some small, neglected part craved wiping the slate clean and jumping right back into the familiar comfort of his arms. but trust once broken could take lifetimes to genuinely mend if ever, and your dignity wouldn't allow walking right back into the line of friendly fire so easily.
"i appreciate you owning up to being a fuck up vinnie, don't get me wrong. but actions speak louder than any amount of sorry's. you looked me dead in the eyes and CHOSE to believe her crazy accusations over a person who loved you unconditionally for years. that kind of betrayal cuts deeper than you seem to comprehend..." you sighed wearily dragging fingers through tangled locks.
"all i ever wanted was for you to have my back without reservation like i did for you. what's to stop the same thing from happening again down the road if some other new face comes along manipulating the situation, vinnie?"
he hung his head in shame, lips set in a grim line comprehending the enormity of damage wrought maybe for the first time. a painful beat of silence stretched between you like a great chasm, each wrestling their own tumultuous internal demons in solitude.
"you're right, y/n. as much as i want to make things right between us again someday, the trust and security you need from me after all this is more than i can give or deserve from you right now. all i can do is promise to do better learn from my mistakes, and be a man worthy of your forgiveness someday if you'll grant me the chance to slowly earn it back."
turning to face him fully you offered a small, sad smile cradling his downcast features tenderly between your palms. leaning up you pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek, letting the multitude of emotions pouring from your touch convey what words couldn't.
"take care of yourself vinnie. maybe with time and distance to heal...we'll find our way to each other again. but for now i think space is what's healthiest, no matter how badly my stupid heart wants the comfort of nostalgia."
turning you walked away slowly back to your car without looking back, leaving vinnie and shattered remnants of your past silhouetted against the city that raised you both. it would take dedicated work on his part to regain even an ounce of your trust moving forward, if ever possible again. but closure and clarity wherever it may lead was the first step toward accepting messy realities and finding inner peace.
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jpitha · 1 year
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"Potatoes?" "No, poisonous"
"Potatoes??"
"Yes, they contain solanine."
"Beef?"
"I'm going to stop you right here. We may be omnivores, but we were never predators, we don't eat flesh if we can avoid it."
"Okay, we'll do vegetarian. Tomatoes?"
She sighed "No, nightshades. They're all poisonous to us. It's the alkaloids."
"Rhubarb?"
"No, Oxalic acid"
"Okay, well I don't like Rhubarb anyway unless it's in strawberry rhubarb pie. Oh! Strawberries?"
"Too acidic."
"Hmm, that leaves out all the citrus too." Derek sighed. "Is there any human foods you can eat?"
Fellmeli thought a moment. "I'm not sure. Starbase?" The base's AI heard the request for attention. "Yes Fellmeli? How can I help?" Fellmeli swore that since the humans came onboard the starbase's AI started to act more like the Human's AIs. More outgoing, warmer, behaving with more agency.
"Derek and I want to share a meal. Is there any human foods I can consume safely?"
There was a long pause. "One moment please, Fellmeli, I'll check."
The pause grew longer, Derek began to fidget. "I'm sorry Fellmeli, we can just go to the canteen and eat together, it doesn't have to be the same--"
"Fellmeli?" The Starbase AI said. "I have finished my query. You can safely consume the following human foods: Chamomile tea, Bananas, chicken eggs, wheat - though I am informed that overindulging in wheat will give you gastric distress - white sugar, dairy products barring cheese and buttermilk, and most pressed nut oils - except cashew. I hope this helps!"
Fellmeli was saddened. it wasn't a long list. She looked over to Derek and instead of being sad, he was excited. "What is it Derek?"
"WAFFLES! I'm going to make you waffles! You'll love them, come on!" and he dashed off to his quarters with her following behind, excited but bewildered.
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waltzingwithspirit · 6 months
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PICK A CARD: MESSAGES FROM THE COUNCIL OF LIGHT
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LEFT : 111 ; RIGHT: 333
Disclaimer:
🪈Disclaimer in highlights applies here
🪈Take what resonates and leave the rest
🪈No one is allowed to copy my work under any circumstances
🪈All personal readings are paid. DM to book a personal tarot session.
🌙111🌙 “Better to wait than force things to happen” “I want my life to be beautiful, wild and filled with things I never imagined so forgive me if I ignore everything  you think is important and get right to it” “Stop Complaining and Start Doing”  “Fulfill your duties towards your body, self, and family, even society, do your part.” Patience is virtue that needs to be restored within you. You want your life to look a certain way, beautiful and wild and like your Pinterest mood baords and for so long you haven’t lived that, you have been engulfed with the noise and drama of the outside world, you waited so long for things you didn’t want, why not be patient for the things that you do, it takes time to undo the social conditioning and live truly free, give yourself some grace. It is not your job to be likeable, your job is to be yourself and the right people will find you.  The council of light is reminding you that while you are on your way to fulfil your dream, do not forget to give back. A lot of being gave you comfort in your journey. I can see someone talking to street or colony dogs, and just sitting beside them and telling them about stories of their life, and playing, don’t forget them when things get better, they listened to you when you were in need. Do not forget your roots, sometimes we fly so high we can’t pinpoint where our home is from the clouds, do not forget your home, where you came from, your lineage, your villages, these things matter. They are your anchor. Connect with your loved ones, do some gardening. For some of you: Rescue Animals, help them in any way you can.  Comment ‘111’ to claim. 🌙 DM TO BOOK A TAROT READING 🌙 🌙333🌙 “You came with nothing, you will go away with nothing” “You are not aline no matter how you perceive it to be. There is someone praying for you” If you are facing difficulty in making a choice: the council of light says: Make the choice that sets you free, that makes you feel lighter. Check your feelings, does it feel a weird hesitation or disappointment or sadness, even though logically it makes sense? Do not choose that path, please! Let lightness, freedom and joy be your guide in making decisions and you’ll be happy how things turned out in the end.  Love yourself more, your day starts when you wake up so create a solid morning routine for yourself, take care of what you are consuming in different aspects like food, water, virtual content, engaging in conversations, everything. Assess this, eat good food that gives you energy and life, engage in manful conversations instead of gossip. Everyday for an hour do something you love, actively. Like you like to draw? Transfer half the time you spend following art content into making your own drawings, they don’t have to be the best, just start doodling even.  You have all that you need to become wealthy in the most holistic sense, use them, There is no harm in writing in a pretty journal but you can just start journaling in any dairy whatsoever, sometimes just taking the first step is good enough, do not go in the mindset that I don’t have this so I can’t do this, use the resources you have currently.  Comment ‘333’ to claim. 🌙 DM TO BOOK A TAROT READING 🌙
- EL TAROT
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homeofhousechickens · 16 days
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Id say its well known birds don't do well with lactose but the other nutrients in diary products are super useful for chickens. Historically, and even now it isn't uncommon for chickens to be given surplus dairy products/byproducts because the calcium and fat helps the hens gain more weight and lay better eggs.
Now historically they werent just giving straight milk to birds they were mixing it into their feed ration then feeding it. Milk fed broilers were even a delicacy back then because more people had access to their own dairy animals so the chickens got the dairy byproducts as well.
So basically I just want you to know that feeding some yogurt to your chickens as a treat isn't going to make them spontaneously combust and die, yeah they might have some stinky poos afterwards like some people do themselves after drinking milk but their are much worse things chickens are given that look healthy to people just because its green (grass clippings for example)
There is even some interesting studies that show milk feeding sick chickens can prevent and stop Coccidosis and Necrotic Enteritis which is like huge?? Especially if your an organic farm?
Chickens are domesticated animals and historically were usually fed similar to pigs, they were given the food waste we didn't want and they have evolved to be able to handle that.
Please keep in mind this post is specifically about chickens and not other poultry! I'm also not saying go milk feed your birds I'm just saying that a little dairy product based treat every now and again isn't a bad thing and in fact can be something you can use to help prevent food waste.
Things to keep in mind- Chickens who have dairy products mixed into their feed tend to consume more of that feed. This can be a great thing or a bad thing depending on how you feed and manage your birds. Fatty liver is something you want to watch out for when adding any high fat feed additives to your chickens diet. This is a modern problem for our modern birds since they are more feed efficient than ever.
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The Rebound 3
Warnings: non/dubcon, body insecurity, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Curtis Everett
Summary: after a divorce, you try to start over.
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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You get up early on Saturday. You’ve made up your mind, you’re not going to let your ex ruin your progress. So you missed a few days, that doesn’t mean it’s over. You can always pick up and keep going. You’re not starting over, you’re finishing what you started.
You head into town first. It’ll add some extra kilometers to your daily walk, just a small dent in what you skipped. You stop by the bakery, closer to a cafe with its steaming espresso machines, and pick up an Americano for a boost. No dairy, no sweetener, you’re sticking to that at least.
You resist the call of the strawberry tarts in the display and thank the woman behind the counter. She’s younger than you and she owns this whole place. A pang of envy nips at you as you turn to go. You feel like you missed out on the years you could’ve built something of your own.
You set off, blowing over the slot of the cup’s lid. The brew fills your nose with its rich scent as you set down the path towards the trees. Up a hill and the coffee’s cool enough to taste. You nurse it slowly as you wind around the rise and fall of the village.
You enter the woods, this time from the opposite edge and the shade of the leaves cools the sweat on your nape. You sigh and take a rest, leaning on a tree as you savour the flavour of the diluted espresso.
You nearly spill as you hear a twig snap. You turn and look around either side of the tree. You’re not used to the strange noise of the wilderness. Out there, something’s always moving, something’s always fluttering or chittering.
The trail stretches on and you follow it down to the babbling stream. You’re close to done the coffee, you hadn’t thought about what to do with the cup. Oh well. You hang onto it as you near the water’s edge.
You stare down at yourself. The ripples distort your reflection and yet, not very much. You’ve got some padding to lose around your thighs and tummy. Maybe even your upper arms. You need to put more energy into walking. You’re older and your metabolism can’t keep up.
You sigh and drain the last of the coffee, choking the bitter dregs in the bottom. You crush the cup flat and slide the lid inside. You drop your shoulder and spin on your heel. A yelp lodges in your throat but can’t escape. You grip your chest as a figure stands watching, so silent and unmoving he nearly blends in with the trees.
“I– I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear you,” you gasp as you drop your hand.
Curtis blinks and doesn’t say a word. He steps forward, treading down to the river, stopping just a foot away from you. It’s like he didn’t even hear you. You stutter and snap your mouth shut, slowly retreating.
“It’s fine,” he says at last and bends to dip his hands into the water. “Ran into some skunkweed.”
“Oh, uh, that’s… cruddy,” you utter awkwardly. “I was just going.”
He continues to stir his hands in the water. You back away and look down at the cup in your hands. The tweeting of birds tweaks in your ears.
“Nice to see you back,” he says, so low, you’re not sure he truly said a word.
You stop, “pardon?”
He stands and shakes his hands off, “out here.”
“What do you…”
“I have traps,” he gestures to the trees, “for rabbits.”
You frown, “oh, I didn’t see you…”
“Habit,” he shrugs, “hunter’s instinct, I guess.”
You flick your fingers over the curled brim of the cup. You know some people like the game around here but they usually go up to the northern patch, not down here. You nod and try to smile, “didn’t think there was any big game around here.”
He just stares at you, “I make do.”
“Right,” you shiver out a breath, “anyway… I’ll be off.”
He nods, “see ya around.”
“Sure, um, enjoy your book… and your hunting.”
You slowly make your way towards the trees. You pass between an oak and slender birch before you peek back. He just watches after you, unmoving. You try to shake off the goosebumps as you turn back to the path. You stop on the trail and crane back again. He’s gone.
The smell of moss and dirt drifts up from the river behind you. You crush the cup in your hand and the lid pops out. You bend to pick it up and hear something snap. You stand up so quickly it makes you dizzy. You whip around, searching, the trees adding to your disorientation.
You stumble and set yourself straight. One foot in front of the other. Keep going. Faster. Faster. It’s just the wind, it’s just a squirrel or a rabbit. It’s nothing. Those twigs snapping, the branches rustling, it’s all just natural.
As you come in sight of the treeline and the open expanse of the fields, you’re almost running. You stop just as you escape the forest. You let the question bloom in your mind. How could he have seen you all as you had no idea he was there? Why hadn’t he said hello?
You slow but not much. Your lungs burn and your calves ache. You shouldn’t think too hard about it. Curtis is just quiet, he’s not much of a talker. Yet, the man you saw in the woods seemed much different than the one in the library. The way he looked at you, as if taking the measure of you, as if you were prey.
No, it’s all in your head. Don’t be silly. The woods are desolate and eerie, it plays tricks on you. Besides, look at you. You’re definitely not drawing any unwarranted attention. Not from anyone but your bitter ex.
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