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uomo-accattivante · 3 years

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Great article about Paul Schrader’s The Card Counter - a poker movie that’s not really a poker movie...

Some filmmakers write a hit movie and spend the ensuing years trying to escape its shadow. Paul Schrader never flinched. Forty-five years after his “Taxi Driver” script put him on the map, the writer-director has developed a body of work loaded with alienated anti-heroes compelled to violent and reckless extremes for the sake of a higher calling.

That includes “The Card Counter,” in which Oscar Isaac plays guilt-stricken Abu Ghraib vet William Tell, a man with a gambling addiction compelled to help the revenge-seeking son (Tye Sheridan) of a former colleague. Taking justice into his own hands, Isaac’s William Tell slithers through the Vegas strip in search of questionable salvation, not unlike a certain Vietnam vet named Travis Bickle did from the driver’s seat. As if to cement the comparisons, “The Card Counter” features Martin Scorsese as an executive producer, marking the first time the two men share a credit since 1999’s “Bringing Out the Dead.”

For Schrader, “Taxi Driver” comparisons are inevitable in all his work. “My tendency is to look for interesting occupational metaphors,” Schrader said in a recent interview. “‘Taxi Driver’ hit the bull’s eye of the zeitgeist and it doesn’t die. There’s no way I could’ve planned for that, but it does inform the stories I tell.”

At 75, Schrader continues to churn out movies much like his compatriot Scorsese, albeit on a much smaller scale. “The Card Counter” is the latest illustration of the secularized Christian dogma percolating through his work. “Our society doesn’t like to take responsibility for anything,” he said. “But I come from a culture where you’re responsible for everything. You come into the world soaked with guilt and you just get guiltier.” In his own prickly fashion, Schrader makes movies steeped in empathy for lost souls in search of redemption despite the daunting odds. “We’re all certainly capable of forgiveness,” he said, and chuckled. “Anyone who says otherwise is wrong.”

The “Taxi Driver” dilemma looms large in nearly all of Schrader’s work, from the dazzling high-stakes activism of “Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters” all the way through Ethan Hawke’s eco-conscious priest in “First Reformed.” While the latter, Oscar-nominated effort brought Schrader new fans, “The Card Counter” is an even more precise distillation of his aesthetic — a moody, philosophical drama about the vanity of the personal crusade.

Schrader, who has labeled his homegrown character studies as “man in the room” dramas, embraces the parallels as usual. “There is this kind of myth that the taxi driver was this friendly, joking kind of guy who was a character actor in movies,” he said. “But the reality is that it’s a very lonely job, and you’re trapped in a box for 60 hours a week.” He saw the same logic with gambling, a wayward profession generally depicted in the movies in the context of escapist romps, rather than the somber rituals that afflict most players. “I thought about the essence of playing cards every day, or sitting in front of a slot machine. It’s kind of zombie-like,” Schrader said. “You see commercials of people in casinos laughing. But it’s a pretty glum place. Today with slots you don’t even have to pull the lever. You just sit there and let the numbers roll.”

The gambling figure led Schrader to the bigger picture of his character’s conundrum. “I was wondering why someone would choose to live in that sort of purgatory,” he said. “He doesn’t want to be alive, but he can’t really be dead, either. What could cause that? It can’t be a simple crime, murder, or a family dispute. It has to be something unforgivable. And that was Abu Ghraib.”

After the fallout of that debacle, William did time in a military prison, and reenters society before the movie begins. That was a world the filmmaker wanted to understand in clearer terms. Though Schrader has received blowback for his controversial Facebook posts in the past, in this case, the platform was an asset: He used it to track down soldiers who had done time in the United States Penitentiary in Leavenworth, the only military prison in the U.S., to better understand the initial claustrophobic world that Tell endures, as well as the conflict between the justice he’s received and what he deserves. “This man has been punished by his government, set free, and paid his due, but he doesn’t feel that,” Schrader said. “What does he do then? How does he fill his time? That’s how it all began.”

Schrader himself toyed with gambling when he lived in Los Angeles early in his career, but soon gave it up. “I very quickly realized I was only interested in gambling if it was really dangerous and I didn’t want to expose myself to that kind of danger,” he said. Years later, though, the experience helped inform his story. “There is this whole fantasy of gambling movies from ‘The Cincinnati Kid’ to ‘California Split,’” Schrader said. “But poker is all about waiting. People will play 10 to 12 hours a day and two to three times a day, a hand will happen where two players both have chips. Now you’ve got a face-off. But that doesn’t happen very often. Most guys who are there are running the numbers, the probability.”

He envisioned “The Card Counter” as a repudiation of the traditional poker movie, which builds to the giddy release of a final tournament. When that moment arrives in the movie, Schrader takes the movie in a bleak, shocking new direction. “It’s not really a poker movie — that’s a red herring,” he said.

William is immersed in his casino journey when he encounters Cirk (Sheridan), the crazy-eyed son of another Abu Ghraib soldier who committed suicide. Cirk blames the soldiers’ former commander (Willem Dafoe), and hopes to loop William into the plan. Instead, the older man decides to take Cirk under his wing to talk him out of the act, which doesn’t prove so easy. In the process, the gambler forms a curious bond with La Linda (Tiffany Haddish), a gambling agent and pimp whose icy, relentless drive to make the most out of the poker circuit brings William some measure of companionship on his wayward journey.

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It should come as no surprise that the “Girls Trip” breakout is nearly unrecognizable in the role of the calculated La Linda, which is also a distinctly Schraderish touch: From his work with Richard Pryor in 1978’s “Blue Collar” all the way through Cedric the Entertainer’s supporting turn in “First Reformed,” Schrader has made a habit of seeking out comedic actors willing to play against type. That’s partly opportunistic on his part. “They’re eager to do it because they want to expand their palette, so you can get them for a price,” Schrader said, chuckling again. “That’s necessary, given the kind of films I make.” But that’s not all: “They will always find a way to be interesting, even when they’re not getting a laugh.”

Which is not to say that the process comes easily to them. Haddish recently told the New York Times that Schrader had to coach her out of speaking in a comedic sing-song. The filmmaker put it in blunter terms. “On the first reading of the script we had, frankly, she wasn’t very good,” he said. “I told her to go back and read every single line without emotion. Then I said, ‘You’re not going to do that in front of the camera, but you can’t hit every line either. So let’s pick five or six lines you can hit where you get a smile or reaction.’ Quickly she got that it was a different rhythm.”

As for Isaac, whose disquieting turn suggests a maniac lingering just beneath the surface, Schrader once again turned to metaphor. “I told him to imagine himself on a rocky coast in the ocean,” Schrader said. “Waves are going to come up and get you all day every day. They’re going to try to batter you. Let them. The waves will go away. You’ll still be there. Don’t compete. In the end, the rocks will win. You have to learn to trust that the way these things are put together has more power than the individual movement.”

William’s routine includes an odd ritual in which he covers all the furniture in his various Vegas hotel rooms with white paper. While the motivation is never explained, Schrader said it stemmed from an experience with production designer Ferdinando Scarfiotti on the set of 1982’s “Cat People,” when Schrader realized the man was doing the same thing. “He said, quite simply, ‘I have to live here surrounded by these ugly hotel furnishings,’” Schrader recalled. The concept inspired the new movie’s most compelling visual motif. “Casinos are very ugly places. There are no exceptions,” Schrader said. “Often you aspire to finding pockets of beauty and there weren’t really any here except the only place he could control, which was his hotel rooms, where he could privatize his visions. I came up with this ritual for him to control those visuals.”

At a certain point, Schrader himself couldn’t control the visuals of “The Card Counter” for more prosaic reasons: After an extra tested positive for COVID-19, the production shut down last March, with five days of shooting left, and couldn’t resume until July. Though Schrader initially took to Facebook to fume at his producers, the pause eventually opened up an opportunity to tweak his vision. “I edited the film and put in placeholders for the five or six scenes of consequence that I hadn’t shot,” he said. “I didn’t have a fully finished film but I could screen it for people. Normally you only get that privilege if you have a big-budget film and you’re allowed reshoots.” The early audience included Scorsese, who provided a crucial note. “I asked Marty, ‘What am I missing?’ He said to me that the relationship with Tiffany and Oscar was too thin. So I rewrote those scenes.”

Schrader asked Scorsese to take on the executive producer credit as a favor. “I said, ‘Marty, wouldn’t it be nice to share a card again? I thought it would help sell the film but it would also be a cool thing to do after all these years,’” Schrader said. “Then a couple of weeks later his agent called wanting to work out a deal. What deal? I asked Marty and he said yes. That’s the deal!” Now, the pair are trying to collaborate on a new long-form TV series based on the Bible, though the timing has been delayed by production on Scorsese’s upcoming “Killers of the Flower Moon.”

In the meantime, Schrader has been mulling over the way “Taxi Driver” not only continues to inform his storytelling but the world at large. “Hardly a week goes by that I don’t notice or hear some reference to it,” he said. “But I don’t know how you’d tell such a story today. A number of writers have tried and I don’t think they’ve succeeded because it has to come out of a certain place and time. We have plenty of these incels around, but they’re not as original or revealing as they were 45 years ago when that character came on the scene. I wouldn’t know how to write about it.”

Instead, his next project is a love triangle called “Master Gardener,” which he hopes to shoot in Louisiana before the end of the year. He has several other potential scripts ready to go after that. And while he has expressed trepidation about the future of cinema in the past, he’s not convinced that audiences have given up on it yet. He recalled a conversation he had with Cedric the Entertainer when “First Reformed” made the rounds. “He said off-handedly to me, ‘You know, I didn’t realize there were so many people who liked serious movies,’” Schrader said, and chuckled once more. “Well, yeah, there are.”

“The Card Counter” premieres next week at the Venice Film Festival. Focus Features releases on September 10, 2021.

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#oscar isaac #the card counter #paul schrader #martin scorsese #tiffany haddish #tye sheridan #willem dafoe #taxi driver #master gardener #indiewire

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joecial-distancing · 3 years

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July Roundup

Lifestyle:

I’ve been getting back into running this summer. It’s been about 4 years since I’ve done any serious running, and I have been made painfully aware of the differences in my body at age 29 compared to 25. My knees hurt more, I need to attend to stretching much more seriously than I used to. I’m coming at the task with better self-knowledge than last time, though; I know how far and how fast I’ve been capable of pushing, and I find an enormous amount of comfort and strength from that familiarity.

I’ve also been applying to jobs, a process which started as nauseatingly daunting, but has gradually settled into just a regular chore of the week (ideally chore of the day, if I’m to keep up with new years resolutions). Getting a resume mushed into a satisfying shape has felt nice, as has getting together a form cover letter that I know hasn’t hurt my chances of getting my foot in doors. Annoyance Boxes checked off, and the rest is getting familiar with the rest of the grind. Interviews have been and will be the same process.

Games:

I’ve also been playing a lot of Sekiro. I’ve always “liked” Fromsoft games, but it’s been rare that I’ve been able to justify the time investment. There’s an appeal in the structure, endless chances to bash myself against a problem until it clicks, being able to run drills when stuck or inadequate (and there is a hook in the inadequacy; nothing frustrates me more than being unable to Just figure out a solution, or requiring too much time to get there. I have a tense relationship with time and deadline pressure. Impatience is one of my greatest vices). So with school finished, I’m diving into this as a treat to myself. The systems are fun, and the camera is so fucking awful that I get unreasonably angry about it. One thing I always do with these games that I think is anathema to a lot of their fans is to spoil myself on what I’m up against. In dark souls I would always have open area maps, rather than try to navigate the combat and exploration simultaneously. It put my mind at ease, I didn’t like the discomfort of the tension of untriggered surprise. And with Sekiro, I know roughly the zones I’m up against, I’m not above watching videos of the boss fights to learn the proper counters etc. No shame, no honor, that’s not what I get out of these games, really.

As with running, so with jobsearch, so with Sekiro, the method is diligence, the appeal is the pleasure of feeling my improvement over time. There is nothing more exciting to me than casually accomplishing something that I know would have annihilated me only a short time ago. I can finish 2 miles in 20 minutes, I want to get it down to 15. This also means the videogame tends to lose out on the priorities list—if I’m wanting to dedicate myself to practice, there’s almost always a different outlet that’d be better outcomes in the long run

very 8 of pentacles mood overall, lately.

Books:

I’m almost done with Pynchon’s Against the Day, which had taken up all of my Reading attention span this month. Unless it does something in the final 8% to lose me hard, it’ll probably clock in as my 2nd favorite of his stuff, behind Gravity’s Rainbow. Anarchism as expressed against American mining companies, European empires, and the Mexican state; searches for a lost paradise city; warfare between schools of mathematics; the nature of Light. At face value, it feels closest to Gravity’s Rainbow and Mason & Dixon, compared to the rest of his work (I know there’s a lot of subtext and referencing going over my head with all of these in terms of both history and literature; I noticed a lot of reviews of AtD focused about the variety of genre style work that he’s pulling from in certain sections, nearly all of which is lost on me. It has, however, been very fun to me that I’m able to keep up with the mathematic academia infighting depicted in this). There’s a “fairy tales coming to life” quality to all three, if instead of Grimms’ stories it’s historical models of the world: Supersonic rockets wreck the flow of pavlovian cause & effect, the destruction of natural landscape in the course of linear surveying becomes a direct conduit for a massive influx of evil energy, quaternion mathematics casting time as real and space as imaginary allow a yogi to contort himself out of sight and into the imaginary plane. The aether is experimentally disproven in the beginning of Against the Day’s timeline, which doesn’t stop holdout engineers and mystics from working wonders with it.

It feels like there’s about as much going on in here as GR, but where GR is claustrophobically overstuffed (which is also part of the reason it’s a better book) and Mason & Dixon gets kind of plodding, the material here is given space to breathe, without losing momentum. It probably helps that the characters in this are a.) numerous, and b.) unusually solid as far as Pynchon goes.

It’s also got many great examples of something else I really like about Pynchon, which is that he is willing to commit 110% to incredibly stupid jokes. There’s an Elmer Fudd reference in here that completely knocked me on my ass.

Viz:

Watched the Bo Burnham netflix, which was mostly pretty good, though I’m completely out of patience for ostentations self-awareness or fake debate where the ~comedian~ who’s concerned about being ~white privileged mannn~ feels guilty he might be ~taking up space~, doesn’t know that he ~deserrrrves it~... out of patience because I already know what he did with that guilt (if genuine) — he didn’t scrap the project, he released the fucking thing anyway. What am I to do with this, Bo Burnham? Would you like my permission? Would you like an “it’s ok dude” from people of marginalized groups within your audience? Why am I watching along for a decision you’ve quite literally already made? I don’t trust displays of vulnerability before an audience of this size.

Also watched through I Think You Should Leave, which... sure it’s funny, and also very effective at making me uncomfortable, which is clearly what it’s aiming to do, but. I don’t really get why it’s got such a strong cultural draw within the online spheres I’m normally checked into. Saw some discourse about how the quotability is somehow distinct from regular memeing, which, alright get over yourselves jesus christ.

speaking of flavors of the month, watched 50 shades and lmao. I’ve been told by a trusted source the books are worse which is hilarious.

also speaking of flavors of the [century], S.O. and I have been doing a rewatch of pre-MCU comic book movies, which has been some fascinating anthropology. It meant, though, that we had to sit through howard the duck, an absolutely wretched film. Other highlights so far: willem dafoe power rangers acting, the soundtrack on affleck daredevil (incl a fuckin choice Evanescence exercise montage), Blade & Blade II still hold up.

We’ve also made it to the final season of pre-reboot xfiles. Duchovny’s mostly gone from this last season, replaced largely by robert patrick of T1000 fame, who is a better actor but a worse character, dude’s basically just A Cop. The writing’s weirdly probably better than the last couple Duchovny seasons, but the show doesn’t work without him — his bad acting was the main thing keeping things together, the tone’s all off now.

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amandajoyce118 · 4 years

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Agents Of SHIELD S7E04 “Out Of The Past” Easter Eggs And References

A glitch in LMD Coulson’s system after the EMP knocked him out makes him see in black and white - and the audience experience the episode like a noir film. They’re still in 1955 and the team gets to work with Daniel Sousa a bit more, even though they think his tragic death is inevitable.

As usual: spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers.

Spoilers. You get it.

The title card.

As usual, the title card is befitting of the era, but this time, also the theme of the hour. Noir films were most popular in the ‘40s and ‘50s in America, and Coulson’s whole voiceover is very much like the private detective getting ready to start his day - but that’s an obvious nod, no?

July 22, 1955.

This date doesn’t have any significant comic book history that I’m aware of, but it is the day Willem Dafoe was born. He played the Green Goblin in Spider-Man. You’re welcome for that.

First Fallen SHIELD Agent.

Not really an Easter egg, I guess, but this does make it clear that SHIELD was formed out of the SSR not long before July 1955 if they haven’t lost a single agent yet. I tried to catch some of the other names on the wall, just out of curiosity, but didn’t.

Howard Stark.

We all know who Howard is, right? No need for a refresher on that one.

The Hawaiian Themed Bar.

I love that the speakeasy has transitioned into the Crazy Canoe. Why? Because for some reason, maybe because it would become a state in 1959, the US was obsessed with Hawaii in this era. There were so many movies and TV shows well into the ‘60s that filmed there. It’s fitting that Enoch would be bartending in a place with umbrella drinks that pretends to be a tropical paradise when in reality.

Enoch The Operator.

His phone switchboard to connect to the Zephyr? It looks like a lot of the ‘60s spy tech you see in old television shows. That design is on point.

Stark’s Man In LA.

This is Jarvis, right? We’re all in agreement that’s who we thought it would be? Good. Because it’s not, but I feel like everyone would have collectively jumped to that conclusion with me.

What Outfit Are They With.

Okay, so Sousa wants to know what secret group can afford the tech they have, right? Does he not notice the more simplistic SHIELD logo on the wall in the Zephyr? I guess not - until the end of the episode. It makes me laugh.

May The Empath.

So, May is a character invented for the series. She doesn’t have powers in her few comic book appearances since she was created. There are, however, a lot of empaths with various takes on what that means in the comics. I’m very curious to see how the show handles that. You know, early in the series, Daisy thought she was unfeeling, but May taught her how to channel her feelings into productivity instead. So May feeling everyone else’s feelings, but her own being relatively dulled, is pretty fascinating.

The Hotel Roosevelt.

Haven’t they filmed here before? These hallways and stairs look familiar. Someone tell me if you recognize it.

Coulson’s System Restoration Moment.

This was a nice romantically coded moment, even if Coulson is an LMD now. The first thing he sees in color as his system is fixed isn’t a thing, but May entering the room. Sweet trope.

Sousa Is A Man Out Of Time.

He’s now the Captain America of 1955, you guys. When Steve Rogers sacrifices himself during the tail end of World War II, he becomes an inspiration to the SSR. There’s a sense of “what would Cap do” amongst the agents who want to be heroes. Sousa meeting a sticky end in 1955, as Coulson points out, does a lot to unify the new version of the agency in SHIELD. What then happens to them? Cap wakes up decades later and has to adjust to a new world. Sousa gets to wake up only about two decades later, but same deal. Bonus? They both also get recruited in these new times by the new version of the organization they worked with. And they both left behind Peggy Carter, who loved them, but believed them dead.

Okay, guys, that’s it for this week. I’m sure I missed something - and no, not mentioning Malick doesn’t mean I missed him, just that he’s not an Easter egg if he’s part of the story.

(Side note: I totally thought that piece of tech was an Obelisk at first when they opened the briefcase, and I was a bit concerned. Anyone else?

Until next time!

#agents of shield #aos season 7 #aos easter eggs #aos spoilers

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dreadnought-dear-captain · 4 years

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You Asked, I Told

(Note, if this post shows up twice or massively delayed or just looks weird, it’s because it was flagged for adult content [??!] because I had a picture of Willem Dafoe’s face in a gif. I am not even kidding. Do with that information what you will. I’ve removed it and I still don’t know if/when this can be publicly viewed, I’m kind of lolling. So if you see a blocked out photo that looks like porn in your post, I swear it’s just a gif from The Lighthouse!)

Hello, amazing people. This weekend, I’m putting the final touches on my last draft of Baghdad Waltz Chapter 39, which will then go to the beta for one more round of edits. I imagine I will have the chapter posted in 1-3 weeks, which is close to record speed for me, especially since it’s around 30k words. I’m going to be talking about my writing process (at unfortunate length) for one of the asks, for those who are interested.

Please forgive me. I’m feeling quite verbose and a little squirrely. I blame living alone during lockdown.

It’s also Memorial Day weekend in the States, which is when we are meant to honor those who gave their lives in military service to this country. This is often confused with Veterans Day (November 11), which is honoring anyone who has served in the military and is no longer serving. This gets further confused with Armed Forces Day (rotating date, May) which is to honor those currently serving in the military. I know, super confusing.

There’s a wide range of opinions on how Memorial Day should be commemorated, which often involves gathering with friends and family for a barbecue or some other social activity. It’s the first major holiday after a huge holiday drought throughout the late winter and spring, which often makes people look forward to it immensely. Some people feel it’s inappropriate to celebrate Memorial Day with barbecues and fond social gatherings because it’s dishonoring the memories of those who can’t be here, people don’t take time to remember those who have died, people have no idea what the day is actually for, etc. Others, even some very vocal veterans, maintain that people died so that we could be here to celebrate in freedom, so why not relish this life we have? Many offer the caveat that it’s appropriate to at least acknowledge the purpose of the day, even if it’s just in a few minutes of quiet reflection.

Anyway, I offer this as a little food for thought for this upcoming long weekend.

(And in case you missed it, I posted a BW Timeline for your reference.)

Contains spoilers through Chapter 38.

[Takes deep breath]

I’m so glad that you are enjoying the read and that you’re finding it inspiring for your own work. I think my dedication to research for BW is threefold. 1) As this story evolved, I decided that I wanted to create the most realistic depictions of military, civilian, emotional, and physical life that I reasonably could. I will fully admit to lapses in this, deliberate and unintentional, because sometimes the plot just needs to go and I can’t wait around for a year-long medical discharge process for my character. 2) I’m in an academically stringent occupation, and because research is such a prominent part of my work life, it’s bled to my hobby. (IS THIS EVEN A HOBBY ANYMORE?) And 3) I get very easily and passionately obsessed with things and delight in getting “into the weeds” with a subject. Almost every research divergence usually takes me off track for at least an hour. And you will never catch me without an MTA subway map open in at least one tab.

But that wasn’t even your question! Sorry. Are you beginning to get a sense of why BW takes me so long to write?? I cannot keep my shit on track. As for the bibliography, YES! I plan to include that in my author’s note at the end. I wish I had kept better track of all of my works consulted over the past three years, but I will definitely discuss the importance of some of the main ones. I’m so thrilled that you are interested, and I’m excited to share them!

Thank you. This is such a kind thing to say, and I’m humbled and delighted to hear it, especially because our fandom is so blessed with some AMAZING fics. And asks certainly don’t have to be questions! I appreciate them all (except the flaming bag of dog shit ones, which I haven’t had in a while, hooray).

(Re: Chapter 37) Good question! I imagine Claire would want to keep the 1:1 conversation somewhat limited, as she is treating the couple as a patient rather than them as individuals. If anything, she might have somewhat superficially checked in to see if he was okay rather than dive into anything regarding the relationship with Bucky not around. That could be seen as a betrayal of trust to Bucky and could be interpreted as favoritism, which Steve craves and which Bucky is probably terrified about.

I am always pleased when people re-read and enjoy it or get new things out of it, even if it’s sometimes a re-read is a function of my slow-ass writing. I really want a story with good re-read value.

You make an excellent point about Bucky’s relationships. His friendship with Jack also had no real closure. Sometimes this is a factor of circumstance and sometimes it’s because of his avoidance, like a self-fulfilling prophesy almost. He’s learned that people betray you, either by hurting you or dying, so he creates conditions sometimes (often unwittingly) for things to go sour and end poorly, or he will simply make himself disappear so that he’s not hurt and doesn’t have to wait to see if he will be abandoned or betrayed. He’s not a guy who is good with goodbyes.

As for Thor, I totally see how it would read that way. I think Thor started out fishing for longer-term possibilities in a romantic relationship but then realized Bucky is really not a guy who is comfortable settling (which, as we can see, is true). As for why it seems more serious, one thing is that Thor still wanted Bucky in his life as a friend, possibly one with benefits. They have a lot in common, and it’s hard for veterans - and, more specifically, special operators - to find people in their lives they can relate to with these very intense life experiences. I wanted this to be a real relationship, but maybe not necessarily one that was bound to become a RELATIONSHIP. I think Bucky was very intriguing and attractive to him, and he very well may have struggled with his own vacillation between whether to take it seriously or whether to remain friends+. This can lead to mixed messages.

And we also have to remember Bucky’s notoriously unreliable narration, where he will see what he wants to see. Our perspective comes from him. We see the details he zooms in on, miss the one he ignores, view the relationship through the lens of his own contentious desire for a real relationship, even as he consistently demonstrates the lack of capacity and his fear about getting serious. I imagine Bucky has having an extremely poor ability to distinguish friendship from romance, and why wouldn’t he, given the most recent bit of history we have learned about him with Jack? He’s had a series of friendships become sexualized, and I think this affects his capacity to be discerning. Bucky’s radar for relating, whether friendships, romance, or potentially dangerous sexual situations, is terribly mis-calibrated. How confusing for him and for the people in his life. Of course, everyone is free to interpret the dynamics of any relationship however they choose. These are just some of my thoughts.

I really appreciate observations from the re-read! Thank you!

I watched the video and you are right! This is definitely a Bucky song. Bucky’s sense of self is by turns profoundly distorted and lacking in grounding, especially now that he’s not in the military. He’s been in a low key existential crisis since he was a kid and has turned to drinking and sex and war to fill this horrible void, and although I can’t speak for what the artists here intended, I certainly sensed those elements here for sure. (Also, what an interesting choice for a music video…)

Thank you for sharing! I’ll add it to the unofficial BW playlist in the author’s note, which consists of various songs people have associated with BW and shared with me.

Good question! I started off this story picturing the actors who represent the characters in the MCU, because I figured we’d be picturing that when we read the fic anyway (though my beta told me she doesn’t see them as the actors, more like artists’ renderings of the characters, which I find interesting). So when describing their physicality, I tend to refer back to the MCU, since this is technically an MCU AU. But the longer I go with the story, the murkier the resemblance feels to me, especially when I think about Bucky, IDK why. I have also been considering doing something more with BW after I finish it (i.e., converting it into a proper not-bajillion-word novel, sunk cost and whatnot), in which case I would definitely change the characters’ appearance, names, cut MCU Easter eggs, etc. So when I try to think of who these people might be in future iterations of the story, things get even more blurred in my mind when I imagine them.

I wonder how other people see them??

So, with regards to PTSD clinical teams, there is some variation across VAs in the system. Some focus more on military-related trauma, whether it’s war, military sexual trauma, accidents, etc. as a way of concentrating their services and managing supply and demand. From talking with providers in these kinds of systems, sometimes you just NEED a military-related trauma, but you can be treated for, say, a childhood trauma if it’s more pressing. Other VAs are very open in their criteria, and you can see them for pretty much any kind of trauma that qualifies diagnostically for PTSD (or sub-threshold PTSD) without question. That’s why I love the expression “If you’ve been to one VA, you’ve been to one VA.” That said, it kind of doesn’t matter what kind of PTSD clinical team is at the VA in Manhattan, because Bucky has so much military trauma that he would very likely qualify to receive services in any PTSD clinical team. They just might focus on childhood stuff (if Bucky actually let them, which is another matter entirely).

This is a great question! Thanks for asking.

I love a snarky asshole Bucky so much, and I’ve tried to temper this version of him with enough hard-earned genuineness to offset it a little bit. It’s such a tender balance with him, because if you back him too far into a corner, he’s going to let you have it. But if you give him too much space, it’s hard to pin him down and wring something honest from him. He’s definitely learned to use humor and sarcasm to deflect from painful or uncomfortable situations, and it’s a very adaptive short-term strategy that makes him both endearing and infuriating to others.

But ugh, yeah, shit gets so rough around Chapter 28/29. I don’t know how to feel when people have really strong emotional reactions to this story, because one part of me doesn’t want to contribute to the crappy feelings people may already be struggling with — especially in the times of COVID — but I don’t want to be afraid to dive into the hurt these characters are experiencing. That’s why I recommend checking in with oneself before reading to get a sense of how much emotional bandwidth is available to manage the immense problems of two people struggling so much. I also think that for some people it can be cathartic or otherwise not-bad maybe (?), based on the feedback I’ve received. I also really try hard to balance out the painful stuff with growth, even though it can be terribly difficult to locate sometimes.

In comments to folks, and here, I often talk about adjusting the ticks on your measuring stick for progress, where instead of leaps of progress over feet/meters, we may be observing things on an inch/mm scale. This story is my most sincere effort at a “recovery is not linear” narrative, which I think is so much more reflective of real life for a lot of folks than a straight upward trajectory. Humans are such creatures of habit, and the lessons these characters have learned through their lives about themselves, trust, relationships, and how to manage emotions are very deeply ingrained — often through traumatic means. These are the lessons learned the hardest, with the greatest perceived consequences for change, and it takes real courage for us to be able to try new things even once, let alone to establish a reliable pattern of behavior. This can lead to a lot of frustration for us as readers/writer, and I come from a place of this being okay, because we are encountering a parallel process with the characters, who are frustrated with each other and themselves about the same things. I do hope the pain/progress/joy ratios are not horribly out of whack most of the time. That’s another reason I like long chapters, because if this was just blips of sometimes terrible episodes in shorter form, I think it would be very challenging to not lose hope entirely.

But I’m so glad you’re finding the read meaningful, even if it’s sometimes painful and difficult.

(YES.)

And FINALLY -- (this is all soooo long, I’m so sorry.)

Oh, thank you for this question! My spreadsheet ended up getting too difficult to manage, and I actually had a small crisis six months ago about how the fic was going to end, because it just didn’t feel right. I had to scrap it and go back to the drawing board and really ask myself - what would these characters really do? Naturally, as a factor of their psychologies and circumstances, how will they bring this story to an end? Some advice I once heard about a “satisfying” ending is that it’s the place where there’s simply nothing more to say about the characters. There’s no more story to tell. I had to abandon all of my desires and ideas for a particular ending or concerns about making people sad or happy or excited or disappointed. I know that the only ending that will be satisfying is one that makes sense for these people. Anything contrived or backward-engineer-y wouldn’t feel right to anyone. I do have a couple of specific character arc things I want to happen, so I set those down as touchstones and said, okay, what would happen next? What would Steve do with this? And what would Bucky do with this? And what would they do with the thing the other person did? I take a very psychology and prior-behavior-based approach to plotting, almost all character driven. The rest is just figuring out what is supposed to go where and how to organize it.

I’ve converted everything to a Google Doc and have a very basic outline where I write plotty-plot stuff. I also have a “garbage dump” doc where I write certain lines I want to use or certain details I want to include somewhere. When I get into a new chapter, I’ll check the dump doc as I outline and write to see if I want to pluck anything from there. I have my outline open regularly to add to it. Sometimes I write scenes out of order, dialogue first, but that’s only if I really am excited about a particular scene and cannot contain myself. Otherwise, I write completely chronologically and have no buffer. I post things as soon as I write them.

As for your specific questions, I do have a “process” for getting into my characters’ heads. It helps to know them so very well and to have a firm sense of their idiosyncrasies and patterns of behavior. As you may have noticed, they repeat their patterns all. the. time, as humans do, but I also want to have them change their behaviors a little as things go and they progress. So I may wonder what they could do a little differently, why they would WANT to behave differently, and imagine what they would need to do to change their behavior. Do they need to take breaths? Do they remember the last time some shit went down? I really try to think of the “how” and “why” of every single action - from big blowouts to eye rolls.

So once I’ve figured out what they are going to do, I try to pinpoint the associated emotions I want to highlight. This is a whole separate process, because I have to think also about their internal versus their external emotional states. Steve, for example, will often have a discrepant inside and outside, because one of the truths about his character is that he is a chronic suppressor. There is also the issue of unreliable narration and interpretation of behavior. Steve might do something in a scene, but that doesn’t mean Bucky is going to interpret it the way it was intended. I have to think about their individual filters, which often reflect their internal beliefs about themselves. Bucky is more likely to read Steve’s actions as reflections of how BUCKY feels about HIMSELF (e.g., he’s disgusted by me because I’m disgusting) rather than imagine what Steve is really thinking based on his own experiences and beliefs about Bucky. I also attempt to convey some of the more second and third layer emotions that people have in situations, rather than only highlighting the primary emotion. Sad things don’t always just make people sad. Powerful emotions, for example, might make Steve feel out of control of himself, which could generate secondary emotions for him like frustration because he’s losing control. Part of the process in the construction of the narrative is also scrubbing what I’ve written for POV, because Bucky’s word choices aren’t the same as Steve’s, and in order to try to preserve the “voice” of each character, I often have to change the words I’ve opted to use, as well as the syntax.

So, as you can see, there’s a lot of layering that is happening all the time. As for the dialogue, I have no compunction about saying the lines aloud, “acting” them to see how they sound, to get a sense of what tone I want them to say things in. Now that I think of it, I do a bit of movement-based stuff, thinking about how people sit and stand, figuring how many steps it takes to get from A-Z, what it would look like to lean against something, how it would feel on the body, etc. I try to get the most felt sense of things as I can. If I’m imagining a scene, I try to put myself in the shoes of the characters to the point where I feel the emotions, just so I can know how it reflects in my body and my mind and behavior. I have more than once gotten drunk and drunk-written drunk Bucky then gone to clean it up later, as drunk writing can generate some great content I never would have been able to come up with sober, but the form, grammar, spelling, etc. is often rubbish. I also talk a LOT to my beta about all of this stuff, and I have certain friends and acquaintances in the fandom who are my consultants for various things.

So, I’m somewhat method I guess?? Is that a thing?? I dunno. It’s not hard to do when you live and breathe a story. It’s required a deep level of interest in - quite possibly an obsession with - the characters and their lives. I adore my characters, not in a self-congratulatory way, but because they feel so real to me. So it’s a joy to plan and write -- though I do hate first drafts with a passion.

OH - I also sometimes fast-draft chapters, which I did for 39. That is, write as FAST AS YOU CAN with no regard for how shitty the writing is. I wrote 10k words in a week, which was a finished fast-draft for me, and thus I had a very good felt sense of what was going to happen in the chapter, which felt amazing. It requires intensive outlining before, and nearly every word had to be rewritten, but one of the greatest frustrations of a story for me is having blank space ahead. Re-writing is way more fun than first draft writing. I have fluffed it up twofold with higher quality content, which I did all in less than two months…!!

-------------------------

Well, this is surely my most unnecessarily yammering YAIT in history. But I hope it at least conveys my enthusiasm for these wonderful asks! It’s so lovely to hear from all of you, even if I take an eon to get back to you. Hang in there, everyone!

@grimshady @hutchhitched @b0n3l3ssm1lk

(And thank you to @bae-buckyaboveeverything for the shout out. You made my day<3)

#you asked #baghdad waltz #asks

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adamwatchesmovies · 4 years

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The Best of 2019

What a year. By the time 2019 ended, I had seen over 130 new movies. It's actually probably closer to 150 but I lost count. There are a few titles I missed, such as The Dead Don’t Die, The Fanatic and Honeyland so obviously, this is not an all-encompassing, definitive list of 2019’s best, but it should give you a good idea of which films you need to check out if you haven’t already.

I usually like to save the #10 spot on my list for a movie that’s just for me. Normally, this would mean a giant monster movie, an off-beat creation nobody else saw, a comic book movie that spoke to my particular tastes or maybe a Canadian movie I know didn’t get the opportunity to shine like it should’ve. This year, that’s not happening. Trimming my list down to 10 was hard enough. I certainly wasn’t going to sacrifice one more to make it just 9. Let's dig in.

10. The Farewell

It’s been weeks since The Farewell and I’m still thinking about it. If I was put in the same position as Billi, I'm not sure what I'd do? Is it better to tell someone that's dying that their days are numbered, or should you spare them from that burden? Is it really them you’d be sparing, or is keeping the secret for your own selfish needs? Writer/director Lulu Wang asks serious questions about culture I had never contemplated before. There’s a lot for you here and even more if your family comes from mixed backgrounds.

9. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I heard some complaints about Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) not being the main character of this film by Marielle Heller, from writers Micah Fitzerman-Blue and Noah Harpster. It was the right choice. The plot has a cyical reporter meet Rogers and through their relatively brief interaction, learn what we knew going in. It delivers a moving character arc without having to stain its subject with flaws we didn't want to see. The quasi-meta presentation is what elevates it into top-10 status. That extra touch means it does a lot more than simply re-iterate what we saw in the 2018 documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor?.

8. Knives Out

Knives Out is one of the most entertaining films all year. There are no profound moments of meditation, no earth-shattering realizations about yourself, just a mystery to be solved. All the suspects are so intriguing they could be the stars of their own movies. Put together in the same house as a dead body and you’ve got no idea who did it. Its screenplay is excellent. The twists are juicy. Everything ads up in a satisfying manner. Rian Johnson is already working on a sequel. I can’t wait.

7. Apollo 11

There are few holdovers from the list I made halfway through the year, which either says something about the strength of the second half of 2019, or the weakness of the first. Either way, you’ve got to see Apollo 11. It’s the closest thing to going back in time and being there when man landed on the moon. The tension and anticipation are overwhelming. Knowing what happened doesn't matter. The way the footage is assembled is nothing short of incredible. Why this documentary wasn't present at the Academy Awards is beyond me.

6. Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler should’ve been nominated for an Oscar. He wasn’t. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it's because of his association with all of those brain-dead Happy Madison Production comedies. His history with cinema shouldn't matter. The movie is what matters. The fact is, this was the perfect role for him. It isn’t even that Sandler’s doing something different, it’s that he’s being used to his full potential. If you weren’t glued to the screen, eager to see what’s coming next, this movie would have you jumping out of the window screaming - anything to escape the anxiety the Safdie Brothers serve up with devilish grins.

5. The Lighthouse

Next on my list is The Lighthouse. Right away, the aspect ratio and black-and-white cinematography lets you know you’re in for something different. You have no idea. What I love so much about this film is the way it handles madness. At the end of the day, I’m not sure if I could tell you if Robert Pattinson’s character was crazy, if Willem Dafoe’s character was the nutty one, or if they both were. It shows you just enough to make you doubt your own sanity. It’s also unexpectedly funny, which makes it feel oddly genuine. In one scene, Robert Pattinson's Ephraim Winslow gets a hold of the lighthouse's logs. In it, his boss, Thomas (Willem Dafoe) recommends Ephraim be disciplined for masturbating excessively. Considering Thomas has been cavorting with some kind of tentacle creature up in the lighthouse (at least that's what I think I saw, I'm not so sure anymore), all you can do is laugh. What kind of loony bin is this turning into? One I'm looking forward to revisiting.

4. 1917

Shot in a way that makes it all look like one take, 1917 is a technical marvel. It hooks itself up to your circular system and steadily replaces your blood with pure, undistilled stress. As you're about to flatline, it stops and gives you a breather. A shot of a meadow untouched by the ravages of war; a reminder of what the soldiers are fighting for and of how utterly devastating armed combat is on humanity as a whole. Gorgeous cinematography, powerful emotions, magnificent production values.

3. Joker

Along with Godzilla: King of the Monsters (a movie they basically made for me), this was my most anticipated movie of the year. To get ready, I watched Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, two Scorsese films Joker director Todd Phillips drew a lot of inspiration from. For some reason, it seems as though many critics took offense to the similarities. Sometimes I understand differing opinions from mine. This time, I don’t. It’s a great film that warns of the dangers of letting people like Arthur Fleck (brilliantly performed by Joaquin Phoenix) fall through the cracks. Left unchecked, he discovers that by doing terrible things, he becomes a “better” version of himself. It’s not a drama. It’s a horror movie that spins the familiar Batman archenemy in a new direction but also stays true to the character. There are several scenes in this movie that are going to be permanently imprinted in my brain. Those stairs. Need I say more?

Runner-ups

Avengers: Endgame

Even if every single Marvel movie going forward is awful, this caps off the whopping 22-chapter saga epically. A couple of aspects bugged me enough that it could only manage to make the runner-up list but it's a terrific film.

Booksmart

The funniest comedy of the year. I think back to Amy and Molly using their hairs as masks and still can't manage to hold back a few chuckles months later.

Toy Story 4

This one was hard to cut. The only flaw I could find was that it isn’t on the same level as 3… even though they’re both 5-star movies.

Midsommar

I’ve heard the extended cut is even better than the original. I wish I’d had the chance to see it in theatres.

Jojo Rabbit

Audacious and heartfelt. I loved those scenes of Scarlett Johanson being a mom. Her agent might've dropped the ball getting her cast in Ghost in the Shell but she sure knew how to pick great work in 2019.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino brings us back to a time when Roman Polanski was simply a good director instead of a convicted rapist, movie stars were untouchable, and the death of someone’s wife under mysterious circumstances was nothing to raise eyebrows about. It’s not a movie that screams “here and now”. If anything, it’s regressive. That said, I cannot deny the experience I had watching it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing and I doubt even Tarantino could pull it off again. I wonder how many people went in knowing what happened to Sharon Tate like I did.

Marriage story

It’s nothing but raw emotion and powerhouse performances in this drama about two people you love going through a divorce. I always make it my goal to watch movies all the way through without any interruptions. Several times throughout, I was tempted to hit "Pause" so I could catch my breath.

Internet lists are everywhere. You know why, don’t you? They suck you in and when you get down to it, most don’t require all that much effort to put together. Except when I make them, apparently. These bi-annual lists always turn out to be difficult to put together. 2019's proved particularly arduous. I’m fairly sure that my #3 movie belongs there. Out of all the movies on this list, it’s probably the one I’m going to go back to most often. The other two? I’d say that technically, one may be better than the other but I think the other one is “more important” so that gives it the edge. What I’m trying to say is, they’re all winners and on a different day, I might even swap them around.

2. Little Women

I have only seen three of the seven silver screen adaptations of Louisa May Alcott’s novel and I don’t expect any of the others to top this one. The secret ingredient to this one's success is Greta Gerwig. Writing and directing, she does so much more than merely translate the classic to movie form. She re-arranges the story to give the events a greater punch than they would if they were shown chronologically and puts a little more emphasis on a couple of key moments (that tear-jerking Christmas, for example) to crank up the emotion. She also makes it more modern without having to change anything about the setting or characters. Admittedly, the back-and-forth between the past and present is a little jarring at first - makes you wonder what Greta Gerwig could’ve done had she been given the de-aging budget Martin Scorsese was given - but that’s where the performances and costumes come in. It takes mere moments before you get what the movie is doing. I’ve said it already but it made me cry.

1. Parasite

To make this list, I didn’t go through all of my past reviews and check which ones were rated what. I thought back to which movies gave me the most vivid memories, which ones gave me the biggest reactions. I’m still not sure how I feel about the final final moment but there’s so much about Parasite that I admire. This would be a great one to watch with others just to see their reactions to the reveal about the bookcase.

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buddaimond · 5 years

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> Rob’s quotes in bold<

When Robert Pattinson signed on to play the antagonistic Dauphin of France in Netflix’s medieval epic “The King,” he knew it was a juicy role that would give him the pleasure of taunting Timothée Chalamet. Still, Pattinson hadn’t quite figured out his character until he saw hair-and-makeup photos of his co-star Lily-Rose Depp, who was cast as a royal ingénue.

“I was like, ‘I want to play a princess, too,’” Pattinson said.

The hairdresser capitulated by giving him long, honeyed locks, but Pattinson had one more surprise in store: On set, he unfurled a French accent so deliciously over the top that his scenes became charged with a camp jolt. At first, “I couldn’t quite tell, is this ridiculous?” Pattinson recalled. But after the first take, he found another co-star, Joel Edgerton, doubled over in laughter. “And then I thought, ‘I love this! This is the best.’”

There is little that Pattinson, 33, likes more than confounding expectations, and plenty were placed on him after the megahit “Twilight” franchise ended in 2012. Since then, he has reinvented himself as an auteur’s muse, eager to add his mischievous spirit and pop cultural frisson to art-house films by directors like Claire Denis, David Cronenberg, and the Safdie brothers.

His irreverent instincts get their most sustained showcase yet in “The Lighthouse,” a wild, darkly funny new film from Robert Eggers (“The Witch”) that pits Pattinson against Willem Dafoe as 19th-century lighthouse keepers who drink, spar, shout and even cuddle. The Nova Scotia shoot was arduous, and Pattinson’s unusual approach — to psyche himself up before takes, he would sometimes gag and hit himself in the face — often surprised Eggers and Dafoe.

Still, Pattinson found that tension to be helpful. “Even if it’s rage you’re feeling, it’s more interesting than boredom, because you can use rage,” Pattinson told me recently in a West Hollywood hotel, where “The Lighthouse” had just screened for awards voters.

After spending the last few years in independent films, Pattinson is planning another zig: He’s shooting “Tenet,” a big-budget summer movie for Christopher Nolan, and he was just cast as the lead in “The Batman,” a new take on the comic-book character due in 2021. “It’s an entirely different experience from the movies I’ve been doing,” the actor said. “Normally I shoot six weeks, and now it’s six months!”

Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Is it fair to say you’re drawn to eccentric characters?

I’ve always thought that the only reason you’d want to play a good guy all the time is because you’re desperately ashamed of what you’re doing in real life, whereas if you’re a pretty normal person, the most fun part of doing movies is that you can explore the more grotesque or naughty sides of your psyche in a somewhat safe environment. And it’s always more fun if you’re shocking the people in the room. If you end up being boring, that’s the lowest of the low.

Do you think you’ve been boring before?

All the time. You can bore yourself! On “The Lighthouse,” I’d do two out of 17 takes that work, and on the other ones, I’d roll the dice in a different direction that leads me nowhere. But it’s more fun doing that than making a plan and sticking to it.

What was the first day of shooting “The Lighthouse” like?

Well, my first shot was this ferocious masturbation scene. It’s always nice to do something massive for your opening shot, and I went really massive on the first take. It was a 180 from everything we’d done in rehearsal, and I could see Robert [Eggers] a little in shock afterward. But I was like, “O.K., cool, I didn’t get told to stop, so I’ll keep going in that direction.” As soon as I’d done that, it was like the road started getting paved.

Why did you feel like you couldn’t uncork that character in rehearsals?

I want to do it different every time, and if you rehearse it 30 times, you have to think of 30 different ways to do it — even if the first way is probably the best way. I just hate it when I do a second take exactly the same as the first take. They might as well fire me.

Doing it the same feels false to you?

It’s just boring! I mean, I’ve definitely seen actors who love rehearsing and are very good, so there’s got to be some benefit to it. But there’s something about that full commitment when you’re shooting, when it’s do or die, that allows you to be more free. Or maybe I’m just lazy and I can’t be bothered to do it until the day we shoot!

Did “The Lighthouse” strike you as a comedy at first?

I thought the script was hilarious when I read it, but I had a similar experience on “High Life” [a space drama about convicts sent to a black hole]. When Claire Denis and I watched that by ourselves, we were pissing our pants laughing — it’s insane, that movie. But at the premiere of “High Life,” there was this deadly silence as everyone watched it. I was like, “Oh God, no one’s seeing the absurdity of this.”

People just assume that if it’s an art-house film, it can’t be funny.

It made me worry that if people aren’t told that “The Lighthouse” is a comedy, they might not feel like they’re allowed to laugh at it. You know, I used to think that doing movies was almost like taking a test, and there was so much pressure to do it right, but I’ve now swung more over to the other side of things: It’s supposed to be really fun, and if you just play it that way, it’s more enjoyable and ends up in a good place. Having a laugh really changes everything.

You’re currently working on Christopher Nolan’s next film and you’ll begin shooting “Batman” soon. How does it feel to have traded art-house movies for big studio blockbusters?

I mean, “Dunkirk” is almost an art-house movie! Chris Nolan is literally the one director who can make an art-house movie for hundreds of millions of dollars, so it doesn’t really feel like a studio thing. With “Batman,” if I’d done it a few years ago, I would have been incredibly nervous, but I’ve still got a few months before we start shooting. Plenty of time to have a panic attack!

You were saying earlier that we should be skeptical of any actor who wants to play the hero, and yet here you are playing Batman.

Batman’s not a hero, though. He’s a complicated character. I don’t think I could ever play a real hero — there’s always got to be something a little bit wrong. I think it’s because one of my eyes is smaller than the other one.

What is it about Batman that excites you?

I love the director, Matt Reeves, and it’s a dope character. His morality is a little bit off. He’s not the golden boy, unlike almost every other comic-book character. There is a simplicity to his worldview, but where it sits is strange, which allows you to have more scope with the character.

You just paused.

I just fear that when I say anything about “Batman,” people online are like, “What does this mean?” And I don’t know! I used to be very good at censoring myself, but I’ve said so many ridiculous things over the years, so I’m always curious when I’m promoting these movies how many times I can mess up. It feels like with every movie that comes out, there’s always one quote from me where it’s like, “How? What kind of out-of-body experience produced that screaming nonsense?”

You’ve said that after you were cast as Batman, you anticipated a vitriolic reaction online.

Maybe I’m just used to abuse by now. At least I didn’t get death threats this time — that’s a plus! It’s funny that people are so very angry about “Twilight.” I never particularly understood it.

When an actor stars in a franchise that’s made for women, there are men who resent that: “My girlfriend likes him, so I don’t.”

They need to think about why they feel that way. Maybe it’s time for a deep soul-search: “Why do you fear what you don’t understand?” But yeah, it’s very strange. All the stuff with “Twilight” was strange. I used to walk down the street with no one recognizing me, and then that changed for four years.

Are you worried that by making big movies again, you may invite that scrutiny back into your life?

People don’t really mess with me in the same way now that I’m older. When I was younger, the paparazzi would be crazy to me — I’d be leaving a place, and people would be screaming abuse — but I can’t imagine it going back to that. Do people really care anymore? The gossip magazines have all kind of gone away, and everyone just puts their stuff on Instagram anyway.

Everyone but you.

Well, I’m old and boring. And I only have abs, like, two weeks a year.

#the king (movie)#The Lighthouse #Batman #Tenet #Robert Pattinson #new york times #twilight movie

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robdelicious · 5 years

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How Robert Pattinson And Willem Dafoe Made It To The Lighthouse

Out of a swirling fog emerges the prow of a boat, knifing through a foaming sea. Two figures, shadows in the murk, stand silhouetted on the foredeck, confronting the horizon, their backs to us. Presently an island swims into view. No more than a crag, really: lonely, battered, forbidding. Then a lighthouse can be made out, blinking in the gloom.

Now we see the men head-on, a striking dual portrait in high contrast black and white: a double exposure. They are wearing sailors’ caps, greatcoats, and hefting wooden trunks. One is younger, taller, moustachioed. The other, more deeply crevassed, sports a wild beard, out of which pokes a small wooden pipe, like Popeye’s. Theirs are, by any standards, remarkable faces, extreme faces, unyielding as rock yet sculpted with great delicacy, skin stretched tight over jutting bones: sharp noses, strong jaws, deep set eyes. And, oh, the cheekbones! And would you look at all those teeth?

Before anything else — before they are handsome faces, or expressive faces, or famous faces (they are all of those things) — these are photogenic faces. On first inspection they appear impassive, almost blank. And yet an air of foreboding is struck. The older man’s features are fixed in a roguish grimace. The younger man is wary, tense. These might be the faces of a father and son, or brothers separated by decades: hard, thin, stern faces, built for hard, thin, stern lives. Lives filled with mean disappointments, festering resentments, blood feuds. Here are men who have seen trouble before and will see it again. Maybe they’re looking for trouble. Maybe they’ve found it. Is this a dual portrait — or the portrait of a duel?

Whatever has thrown these men together in this place — fate, karma, the thirst for adventure, the desire for escape (in the case of the characters, but perhaps the actors, too?) or (in the case of the actors specifically) the need to stretch oneself artistically, or to challenge oneself physically, or the reputation of the director, or a really good script, or all of these things — one senses they are aware already, as they square up to the stinging reality of their circumstances, that they may have got more than they bargained for. What we can be sure of from the off: there will be weather. There will be conflict. And there will be acting.

The film is The Lighthouse, the second feature film from the 36-year-old American writer-director Robert Eggers, who made a stir with his debut, The Witch. Eggers, who is based in Brooklyn but grew up in rural New Hampshire, is a man possessed of a rare and creepy gothic sensibility. The Witch was an arthouse horror film, a twisted fairytale with the insidious power of a nightmare. It concerned a family of 17th-century puritans banished to the woods of New England, and it involved possessed children, birds pecking at human flesh, and an unholy bond with a goat. It cost $4m to make and earned that money back 10 times over, making Eggers not just a critical darling, but a coming man in commercial cinema.

For The Lighthouse, Eggers is reunited with A24, among other production companies, and with much of his crew from The Witch, including his director of photography, Jarin Blaschke, and composer Mark Korven, who between them do as much as anyone to set the eerie mood. His co-writer is his brother, Max Eggers. The actors were new to him.

Those faces that I have been at pains to describe, then, belong to Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe. They play lighthouse keepers on a wind-slapped, rain-lashed rock off the Atlantic coast of North America. The year is 1890. Pattinson is, or appears to be, Ephraim Winslow, the taciturn apprentice. “I ain’t much for talkin’,” he says early on — a statement, like so many in this film of shifting and unfixed identities, that turns out to be not entirely true.

Dafoe is Winslow’s irascible, peg-legged senior partner, Thomas Wake, an experienced “wickie” and a cruel taskmaster, obsessively enraptured by the beacon he tends. “The light is mine!” he declares, mad-eyed. Wake consigns Winslow to the bowels of the building, where the younger man stokes the fire and swabs the floors and nurtures his grievances, while indulging in some quite epic, mermaid-focussed masturbation. Winslow and Wake are to spend four weeks alone on the island before they are to be relieved. But when a storm blows in, the odd couple are stranded — maybe, or maybe not, because a violent act on Winslow’s part has brought down a curse upon them. Slowly, and then in spasms of ultraviolence, they unravel.

The Lighthouse is a twisted buddy movie, a surreal black comedy, a psychological thriller set at the hysterical pitch of Grand Guignol. It was filmed in the spring of 2018 on sound stages in the city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, on Canada’s Atlantic coast, and on location on the tiny fishing community of Cape Forchu, nearby. (“People tend to spend up to 45 minutes here,” Google Maps tells us of Cape Forchu. This fact might, or might not, amuse the filmmakers who spent weeks there, battling Biblical conditions. “It snowed in May,” notes Dafoe.)

With the exception of the Moldovan model Valeriia Karaman, who makes a number of brief, though memorable, appearances in her debut film, Pattinson and Dafoe are the only members of the cast, and their seesawing power struggle is the film’s entire focus, with point of view switching sides like a sail boat’s boom in a storm. Its success or failure rests heavily on their shoulders.

Pattinson and Dafoe are big stars, both. They are also men from different generations, different backgrounds, different countries and traditions. The Lighthouse was not an easy film to make for a number of reasons — the remote location, the raging weather — but not the least of the filmmakers’ challenges were the contrasting approaches of the two actors.

“They really did have incredible chemistry on screen,” director Eggers tells me on the phone, “but it was chemistry through tension. I know there’s been discussion about their different acting techniques and the trying conditions on set…” He pauses. “That couldn’t have been better for the movie.”

If you happened to be out and about in Halifax, in the early spring of 2018, you may have noticed a slender young loner stalking the streets day after day, muttering to himself. Noticed him, and felt concern for his emotional wellbeing. Had you followed him, and listened closely, you might have heard the same words repeated over and over again, in a gravel-voiced near-grunt: “Woyt poyn, woyt poyn, woyt poyn…” Come again? “Woyt poyn, woyt poyn...”

“White pine,” the slender young man enunciates into my voice recorder, 18 months on, in the accent of a nicely brought-up southwest London boy, rather than a 19th-century working man from a highly specific part of Maine. White pine — I’m sorry, woyt poyn — is one of the trees which his character lists when telling his colleague of his past misadventures as a lumberjack. Pattinson developed the accent with the help of a dialect coach and by speaking to a contemporary Maine lobster fisherman on the phone. “It’s one of those accents where if you say one syllable wrong it’s suddenly Jamaican, or something,” he says. “So it took ages.”

Pattinson arrived early in Halifax, before his director and co-star, to psych himself into the role of the saturnine Ephraim. Having approached Eggers after seeing The Witch, in the hope that they might at some point work together, Pattinson had declined the director’s first suggestion, for a part in a more conventional, mainstream film that the director was then developing.

“He said he was only interested in doing weird things,” Eggers says. “So when The Lighthouse came around I said that if he doesn’t find this weird enough, I guess we’ll never work together.”

It’s true, Pattinson says, that at that time, in 2016, he “wanted to do the weirdest stuff in the world.” (Mission accomplished, Rob!) Still, he spent a good deal of time agonising over whether or not to take the role in The Lighthouse. “I remember reading it and I thought it was very funny, but I was also thinking, ‘I don’t understand how the tone would work?’”

When Dafoe signed on, Pattinson was excited. “I knew Willem could bring that kind of anarchic energy,” he says, “but I really didn’t know how I would do it at all.” Dafoe, he says, in one of his many moments of self-effacement, “has one of those faces where he can literally sit in any room in the world, doing almost nothing, and it’s fascinating to watch. Whereas I sort of blend in with the chair I’m sitting on.”

Before filming began, the pair spent a week in rehearsals. Pattinson dislikes rehearsing, preferring to do his experimenting on camera. “It was very, very frustrating,” he says. “I just couldn’t achieve what they wanted me to achieve in that room. Robert [Eggers] was getting furious with me because I was just sitting there, completely monotone the whole time. He could not stand it.” Pattinson tells the story with no rancour whatsoever. He knows it sounds funny, but it wasn’t at the time. “I just don’t know how to perform it until we’re performing it. By the end of the week, I’m thinking, ‘I’m going to get fired before we’ve even started’. I definitely feel like, with the rehearsal period, we were quite angry with each other by the end of it. Literally, we’d finish for the day, I’d fucking slam out the door and go home.

“I knew that there was diminishing expectations of me throughout the week of rehearsals,” he says. “I definitely became an underdog. They’re like, ‘Wow, this was a big mistake. He’s really shit.’”

Pattinson and I talk on a sweltering August morning, in the comfort of a private members’ club in west London, near the flat he’s rented for the summer on Airbnb. (He’s in town to shoot Christopher Nolan’s new sci-fi spectacular, Tenet, about which he is permitted to tell us, with fulsome apologies, precisely nothing.) Rather than swigging kerosene and chaining tobacco, as in the film, he orders a banana smoothie, and when he’s finished that, an apple juice. Occasionally he sucks on a Juul.

Pattinson is 33. He grew up in affluent Barnes, the son of a dealer in vintage cars and a model booker. More or less untrained — unless you count some teenage am-dram — at 19 he was cast as Cedric Diggory, the hero’s doomed frenemy, in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. But his Hollywood breakthrough arrived in 2008. Twilight was a teen B-movie, but it became a pop cult phenomenon, spawning four sequels of diminishing charm, making an otherworldly $3.3bn worldwide and creating megastars of its leads, Pattinson, who played a sexy vampire, and Kristen Stewart, who became his girlfriend on screen and IRL, as they say, before, in an unseemly frenzy of prurient salivating, she became his ex-girlfriend.

While for some he may always be the pallid tween heartthrob, in the six years since the final instalment of Twilight, Pattinson has worked hard to reinvent himself. His post Young Adult years have been cussedly uncommercial and impressively adventurous. In that period, Pattinson has worked with some of cinema’s most fêted directors: David Cronenberg, Anton Corbijn, James Gray, Werner Herzog, the Safdie brothers. Most recently, he was an intergalactic castaway in High Life, an enjoyable, if bonkers, dystopian sci-fi from the French director Claire Denis.

“Even in the Twilight years I never said, ‘Oh, he’s just a pretty boy,’” says Robert Eggers. “I always thought there was something interesting about him. I could tell that he wanted to be a great actor. And in the past years it’s been very clear that he is.”

The attraction of more avant garde or outré material, Pattinson says, is it allows him to let rip in a way he never could in real life. Pattinson compares the experience of acting in a film like The Lighthouse with joyriding. “A lot of the movies I’ve done recently, you literally feel as if you’ve stolen a car and you’re kind of careening through stuff.” (Such are the fantasies, perhaps, of a boy who grew up with a father who imported American sports cars for a living.)

In person, Pattinson is a mild-mannered English actor, albeit a slightly eccentric one. On set, however, “because you’re playing a mad person, it means you can sort of be mad the whole time. Well, not the whole time, but for like an hour before the scene.”

What does he mean by being mad? “You can literally just be sitting on the floor growling and licking up puddles of mud.”

This sounds figurative. He really means it. On The Lighthouse, in the scenes in which his character is meant to be drunk on kerosene (there are quite a few of them), he was “basically unconscious the whole time. It was crazy. I spent so much time making myself throw up. Pissing my pants. It’s the most revolting thing. I don’t know, maybe it’s really annoying.”

It’s hard not to speculate that yes, it might be really annoying. “There’s a scene,” Pattinson remembers, “where Willem’s kind of sleeping on me and we’re really, really drunk and I felt like we’re completely lost in the scene and I’m sitting there trying to make myself gag and Robert [Eggers] told me off because Willem’s looking at him going: ‘If he throws up on me, I’m leaving the set.’ I had absolutely no idea this whole drama was unfolding.”

In some ways, Pattinson concedes, all this acting out is a reaction to his terrifying early super-fame. He speaks of himself in the second person when talking about it. “For a long time you’re very self-conscious in the street. You’re hiding a lot, so [on set] you have an excuse to be wild. It’s like being an adrenaline junkie. And also, when you don’t know how to do something, why not just run headfirst into a wall? See what happens. I haven’t got any other ideas.”

On The Lighthouse, he spun in circles before each take, to make himself off-balance. He placed a stone in one of his shoes, to increase the already considerable physical hardship. He can see — from my disbelieving laughter, apart from anything else — that all this strikes non-actors as funny, even preposterous. It may be that it sounds this way to some actors, too.

The most famous story (possibly apocryphal) of an encounter between an adherent of the Method — in which actors don’t so much pretend to be someone else as try to temporarily become them — and a more traditional, outside-in actor, who puts on costume and makes believe, is Laurence Olivier’s withering put-down of Dustin Hoffman, when they were working together on John Schlesinger’s Marathon Man. At some point, Hoffman, a graduate of the Actors Studio, confided in the great English Shakespearean that, in order to bring the correct verisimilitude to a scene in which his character has not slept for three consecutive nights, he had forced himself to stay awake for the same period. “My dear boy,” Olivier is said to have smoothly replied, “why don’t you just try acting?”

Eggers says that any suggestion of that kind of relationship between Dafoe and Pattinson is wide of the mark. “The idea that Dafoe is outside-in and Rob is this method actor, that’s not the case. I think maybe they lean the tiniest bit into those directions but they’re both combinations of things.”

ESQUIRE: https://www.esquire.com/uk/culture/a29300396/robert-pattinson-willem-dafoe-interview/

#Robert Pattinson #Rob Pattinson #Esquire #The Lighthouse

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sweetsmellosuccess · 4 years

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Sundance 2020: Preview

Earlier in the month, as I frantically made my selections for the limited public tickets Sundance generously makes available for the press, I was struck by just how much of a crapshoot the whole process was. That’s the thing about this particular festival, virtually no one outside of the filmmakers and Sundance programmers have seen the films yet. It’s a great unknown (and, yes, Cannes is also similar in this way, but whereas Sundance is selecting primarily indie films, the festival on the French Riviera gets to choose anything they damn well please, from big Hollywood studio fare, to auteur International work), which leads to lots of hunch choices, based on gut feeling as much as anything else.

As you might imagine, one’s hit rate on such matters is volatile. I looked back to previous years’ selections, and found, on rough average, choosing solid (or better) films at about a 45% clip. That is to say, of the films I deemed most worthy of my attention, about half of them were less — or even far less — than I hoped. To be fair, randomly watching regular studio films opening from week to week at home in Philly, I would imagine that percentage would be a good bit lower, so there’s nothing inherently wrong with Sundance’s percentages.

Still, it does speak to the embracing-of-the-unknown ethos that this festival instills in you. We pays our money, we takes our chances, etc. Having said all that — and perhaps having chiseled down the enormous boulder of salt with which to read this piece — here are our best guesses for what looks like (on paper, at least) some of the more interesting films in this year’s fest. We’ll see how it turns out.

Downhill: The U.S. remake of Ruben Östlund’s 2014 Swedish film about a family on a skiing trip in the Alps, who experience serious disruption when a controlled avalanche terrifies the father of the clan to ditch his family in order to save himself. Normally, I would steer far clear of American remakes, but this indie remains intriguing, even if it is directed by a pair of actors (Nat Faxon and Jim Rash). Casting Will Ferrell and Julia Louis Dreyfus together as the parents is also a draw. We can only hope the film retains the razor-sharp acerbity of the original.

Falling: Viggo Mortensen, best known for all time as Aragorn from the Lord of the Rings triad, has many talents — he speaks French fluently, writes poetry, and paints with some apparent aplomb — but we’ll see how he handles writing and directing for the first time with this film, in which he plays a gay man living with his family in L.A., whose arch-conservative farmer father (Lance Hendrickson) comes to live with him. The set up sounds on the definite hokey side, but any film that casts David Cronenberg as a proctologist has got something going for it.

Horse Girl: An awkward loner of a woman (played by Allison Brie), with a predilection for crafts, crime shows, and, yes, horses, endures a series of lucid dreams that infiltrate her day-to-day existence. Sounding just so perfectly Sundanecian, Jeff Baena’s film nevertheless holds some attraction, especially because the director (whose previous film was the well-received The Little Hours) has a solid track record. He co-wrote this effort with Brie, a collaboration that might well lead to something more compelling than its initial description.

Kajillionaire: I guess you could call writer/director/actress Miranda July something of an acquired taste. Her previous films, including Me and You and Everyone We Know, and The Future are filled with a kind of creative whimsy, along with intense character insight. Her new film is about a pair of grifter parents (Debra Winger and Richard Jenkins) who throw together a big heist at the last second, convincing a newcomer (Gina Rodriguez) to join them, only for the newbie to disrupt their relationship with their daughter (Evan Rachel Wood), whom they have been training her entire life.

The Last Thing He Wanted: Working from a novel by the resplendent Joan Didion, Dee Rees follows up her 2017 Sundance rave Mudbound with another literary adaptation. Anne Hathaway plays a journalist obsessed with the Contras in Central America, whose father (Willem DaFoe) unexpectedly bestows her with proof of illegal arms deals in the region. Suddenly, a player in a much more complicated game, she connects with a U.S. official (Ben Affleck), in order to make it out alive. It’s a particularly well-heeled cast, which at Sundance doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, but Rees has proven herself more than up to the challenge.

Lost Girls: At this point, I will literally watch Amy Ryan in anything — her exquisite bitchiness absolutely stole last year’s Late Night — so Liz Garbus’ film would have already been on my radar, but here, with Ryan playing a Long Island mother whose daughter goes missing, my interest is sorely piqued. Based on a true-crime novel by Robert Kolker, Ryan’s character discovers her daughter was part of an online sex ring, and goes through heaven and earth to draw attention to her plight, taking on the local authorities in the process.

Never Rarely Sometimes Always: Eliza Hittman has a way of adding lustre and temporal beauty to the otherwise roughneck scenes of the teens she depicts. Her latest film is about a pair of young women living in rural Pennsylvania, who find the means to escape their repressive town after one of them becomes unexpectedly pregnant, making their way to New York City. With a storyline eerily reminiscent of Cristian Mungiu’s 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days, Hittman, as is her want, has cast two relative unknowns (Talia Ryder and Sidney Flanigan) as the leads.

Palm Springs: Lightening things up a smidge, Max Barbakow’s off-beat comedy stars Cristin Milioti and Andy Samberg as reluctant wedding guests, who somehow find each other at the same time as some kind of surrealistic episode leads them to recognize that nothing really matters in the first place, allowing them to lay havoc upon the proceedings for their own amusement. Barbakow’s debut feature is stockpiled with strong castmembers, including J.K. Simmons and Peter Gallagher, and it’s always a treat to watch the continuing evolution of Samberg from mop-haired SNL performer to certified big-screen actor.

Promising Young Woman: The #metoo movement begets this revenge thriller about a once-victimized woman (Carey Mulligan) who works by day as quiet barista, but spends her nights seducing men in order to punish the living hell out of them for trying to take advantage of her. When she runs into a seemingly sweet old classmate (Bo Burnham), it would appear as if salvation is at hand, but apparently it’s not quite that simple. Filmmaker Emerald Fennell, whose outstanding work on the series “Killing Eve,” earned her a pair of Emmy nominations, makes her feature debut with a film that sounds appropriately searing.

Shirley: There were those critics at the 2018 festival who found Josephine Decker’s Madeline’s Madeline one of the best films of the year. While I wasn’t among them, there was still much to appreciate with the writer/director’s improvisational visions. Her entry into this year’s Sundance promises to be at least somewhat more grounded, if not still effervescent. It concerns famed author Shirley Jackson (Elisabeth Moss), writer of “The Lottery,” whose literary inspiration is stirred after she and her husband (Michael Stuhlbarg) take in a young couple to liven up their household.

#sweet smell of success #ssos #piers marchant #films #movies #sundance 2020 #park city UT #promising young woman #shirley #never rarely sometimes always #palm springs #lost girls #the last thing he wanted #kajillionaire #falling #horse girl #downhill

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tay-centricpsychosis · 4 years

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I’ve been debating whether to start a blog for a little while now, but I’ve been writing some stuff in preparation of it for about a week. Following is everything I wrote:

Writing is difficult, but I said I would with my psychologist, so I guess I’ll start a journal or something of sorts and see if the words flow. I’m 25 now, the years have gotten away from me a bit, time really does seem to fly, especially looking back on it. Last year I had a couple of psychotic breaks. As a result of the psychotic breaks, I got diagnosed with Schizophrenia. My psychologist thinks it was drug-induced psychosis. I don’t really know which it was because I’ve been on antipsychotics since the second admission to hospital, but I also haven’t been taking drugs since the second admission to hospital, so whether it’s the lack of drugs or the addition of prescription drugs that’s keeping me symptom free, I don’t know.

I’ve been having a debate with myself over whether or not I’m actually schizophrenic or whether it’s drug-induced psychosis. In support of schizophrenia, I had what could be described as a prodromal phase where I seemed to lose all capacity for study and work, where I was isolating a bit, and generally disengaging with life. On the other hand, that could be due to me smoking weed almost every day for about two years. Now I seem to have what could be described as negative symptoms of schizophrenia; apathy, anhedonia, poverty of thought, reduced social drive, loss of motivation. On the other hand, these symptoms have also been described as side-effects of the antipsychotics I’m on. Part of me wants to stop the antipsychotics now to see if the negative effects are alleviated, and if the positive effects (delusions, hallucinations) return. Then I’d have an answer to the question of whether it’s drug-induced psychosis or schizophrenia. On the other hand, I’ve only been on the antipsychotics for about six months now, and treatment protocol for schizophrenia says that staying on the antipsychotics for one to two years after first-episode psychosis improves long-term outcomes. If I stop the meds and I need the meds, long term outcomes are worse, but if I stay on the meds and don’t need them, they’re making my current situation noticeably worse: A real catch 22.

I suppose the negative symptoms aren’t too terrible at the moment, anyway. I’m managing to hold down a job, though it doesn’t take many hours in a week. I’m writing a bit, though I doubt it’s any good. I manage to get my ten thousand steps most days, though I’ve been very lazy this week. I’m worried that they’ll be a severe detriment to my schooling once I go back, but that remains to be seen. I currently sleep about twelve hours a day, which will be a severe detriment to my schooling, however, I’m currently writing this at nearly 8AM on no sleep, after waking at 5PM yesterday. I’m hoping I can make it through the day on no sleep, go to bed early tonight, and work my way towards a better sleep routine in preparation for school. So I guess I have plans for the future, which is good.

I’m currently trying to drink less alcohol, and I’ve stopped smoking. I used to have a pretty severe drinking problem, I’d drink a box of wine in about two days, two to three times a week. Last night I was going to buy a bottle of whiskey and get drunk, but stopped myself halfway to the liquor store. Writing always makes me want to smoke, but I’m currently resisting the temptation to go buy a pack. Quitting kind of sucks, but I decided that despite whatever hardships I may face, I still want to live, so quitting both booze and cigs is probably in my best interest.

I miss drugs, I never really did a lot of different drugs, just weed and LSD. I was quite regularly smoking weed, and I guess I’ll miss how it seemed to make things more interesting. I’ll really miss LSD, it seemed to make life worth living, and made everything better. I was suffering from some fairly severe depression for a while and an LSD trip pulled me out of it. I was thinking about microdosing LSD to try and pull me out of the anhedonia and apathy I’m currently feeling, but I don’t think that’s a good idea, and the antipsychotics negate the effect of LSD anyway. I was a lot more creative on LSD as well, but I’ll probably try and be creative later in these writings too. We’ll see how that goes.

I tried to have a nap, but then I got an idea. Rather than writing this all and keeping it to myself, maybe I should start a blog instead. I’ll call it ‘Tay-Centric Psychosis’, I always wanted to start a movie reviewing blog, and maybe I could incorporate that too. It might be a good exercise to keep me writing, and might help me become more involved in life, a record of my existence, it might help keep me grounded in reality as well. It might help me be more social too, since that’s a space that I feel I’m severely lacking at the moment. I don’t know, it might even help someone, I don’t know how, but it’s a nice thought.

I woke up at 7PM after 17 hours of sleep yesterday, my plan to not sleep and fix my sleep schedule did not work. I’m committing myself to waking up before noon this week, no matter how many hours of sleep I get. Hopefully writing it down here will keep me committed and honest. Orientation week for Uni is next week. I’m hoping to be up at 9 on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to make the most out of the orientation. Then it’s back to Uni the week after, and I really want to commit myself to the work and hopefully succeed this year. I assume it’s going to be a struggle for the first few weeks going every day, since I haven’t actually been to a lecture in quite a few years, but hopefully I can fall into a routine and be better for it. I’m worried I’m putting too much pressure on myself going back to school this year. Just living seems to be pretty difficult at the moment, so putting Uni and holding down a job on top of it seems like a recipe for disaster. I got a tarot reading, though, and it said if I put the effort in my schooling will be successful. Kind of nervous to see how this year goes, but as long as I stay out of the hospital, I guess it’ll be better than last year.

We watched The Lighthouse the other night; it was pretty good. I enjoyed the director’s previous film The VVitch too, this one had a lot of the same sort of feel going on. A very competent horror film with some particularly brutal moments. Great performances from both Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe, Willem Dafoe in particular. Spilled beans/10.

I watched Pain and Glory, a delightful film about a director, heroin addiction, and back pain. I haven’t seen any of Almodóvar’s other films, but this one came highly recommended. Antonio Banderas gave a stellar performance, and Penélope Cruz was stunning as always. Beautifully shot, with a great soundtrack, it was gripping the entire way through. Sciatica/10

First two days of sleeping better seem to be going soundly, as discussed with my psychologist I’m trying to get into the habit of going to sleep at 11:30 and waking up at 8. Day one of this schedule has gone fine. Hopefully by keeping track of it, I’ll encourage myself to stick to it.

I don’t know, the boringness of my life is what’s keeping me from making a blog, I doubt anyone would find it of any interest since it is basically just skating by on a definition of life at the moment. It’s still probably a good idea, and who knows what people find interesting these days. I think if I wrote about what my actual delusions were some people might find it more interesting. There was a lot to it, though, and I guess I’m worried about being judged for them. Maybe some other time.

I keep in touch with a person I met in the hospital, she called me last night and we had a bit of a talk. She’s one of the few people I’ve had any meaningful conversations with in the last month or so. She considers me to be high functioning in my disorder, which is nice to think about. From what I’ve read, if I do have schizophrenia, I’ll probably deteriorate as I get older, which is an unpleasant thought, but focus on the positive and for now at least I am holding down a job and getting my 10,000 steps a day. If I’m active and properly engaged when I go back to school, honestly, I’m probably doing better than I have in the past 4 or so years, despite the disability. We’ll see, I guess. I bought a parking permit for school today, which if I’m to get my money’s worth out of it, requires me to go every day I have lessons, so I’m hoping that serves as encouragement to stay engaged this year as well.

I’ll probably write more in the future as things progress, but I guess it’s a start to start my blog. I think people will find my psychoses interesting if I go into detail about them, which I might do. Anyway, this is my first post, and hopefully I can develop my blog further.

#mental health #schizophrenia #psychosis #depression

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jlf23tumble · 5 years

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Episode 17 has us down to 14 acts, but that still means we have 90 minutes to force ourselves through, and JESUS, GOD, DERMOT, LOUIS, LITTLE BLACK DRESS help me. I was in an Armstrong-mourning-induced haze last week, so I could have sworn we were promised Kylie tonight and Little Mix tomorrow, but there’s no Kylie in this one, boo, and clearly, a lot of time to fill in the results show on Sunday, so we’ll get BOTH tomorrow. That’s thinking ahead, though, and much like a petulant Harry Styles arguing with Niall Horan in the award-winning documentary, This Is Us, I live in the moment, so it’s time to recap tonight!! My usual caveats: this is for @newleafover and @justlarried because they will never, ever watch it, and I will not recap in all of these performances because I do not have time for that kind of pain. With that said, let’s do this!

I love him too much to embarrass him (or me) with pictures of Dermot go-go dancing his way on stage with some seriously British dancers, but it’s very “cringe” as Louis would say.

The theme is guilty pleasures, and Ayda and Louis are the only ones who coach their people to deliver on it. I mean, what kind of guilty pleasure is “Proud Mary”???

Simon is extra-ordinarily amped up for this entire 90 minutes, and all I can think about is the Popbitch story detailing his coke breaks, lmao.

The show’s budget looks like it graduated from Bic pens, but that doesn’t mean Louis’s not selling it for me (god, I still need a new one, credit where it’s due for this gif):

My new religion is Louis giving his critiques while simultaneously shutting Simon down; it’s a work of art that can only be captured in context because he’s, like, “comment, comment, shut up and stop clapping Simon, comment, comment,” and yeah, cosigned.

Me as Ayda dragging Simon for every single one of his unrecognizable, terrible song choices (and I say “his” because he overrides his team and makes them all pick different, awful songs throughout). My literal pleasure is watching Simon get flustered and try to defend himself before accepting responsibility because he hates to lose, and that’s what’s going to happen for everyone but Shan.

Hey, if you had to guess based off this picture, who’s in charge of this show?

It’s both gross and amusing to see Simon finally wake up and recognize the AMAZING black talent on this series (he can argue all day long about how Bella is a star in the making, but anyone with eyes and ears can see that Shan, Dalton, and Acacia & Aaliyah are the ones to beat).

The sun still shines out of Dermot's ass, and I still wonder what is cracking Louis up so fucking hard in this shot:

Take a drink every time Simon uses his middle finger to scratch his eye; unrelated, but I’m low-key dying for his, “We had a nice chat together,” with a contestant on a different team because he’s trying to pull a Louis, and OVIOUSHLY, Louis has talked to all of them, but Simon has barely phoned it in with his own team, so, sure, Jan.

Brendan is my own personal form of torture, but Louis’s not letting anyone on his team go down without a fight, so I’m here both for his BDE coaching (not pictured; it’s too much) and his cheerleading (his face doesn’t move, but he gives it the full foam finger point):

Dalton, godddd, I love him, outstanding song choice, outstanding performance (the crowd goes WILD), and I can’t capture it, but outstanding deadpan impersonation of Louis’s “oi oi oi” (special shoutout to the random Little Mix [?] poster in all of Louis’s team’s scenes):

Lots of acts perform, and then we get to Gio, who does a very “rock opera in the west end” version of “…Baby One More Time” (I’ll be honest, Travis does it better if you want histrionic, seemingly straight dudes covering it). Louis says he’s “the most polite guy that I've ever met, boot, it was just one step too weird and too intense for me” (he's so right), and then we get Ayda saying, “Real men wear pink, real rockstars sing Britney,” and I love how the camera IMMEDIATELY cuts away from Louis the second she says “pink,” lmao, okay, then. Also, Ayda does a fairly decent Britney impersonation?? Anyway, I’m here for Dermot calling out how Gio looks like both Willem Dafoe AND Nosferatu because he’s not wrong:

Next up is Ant’ony (Mark Wahlberg’s British cousin), who picks “I Wanna Know What Love Is” as his guilty pleasure because his dad used to drive around and play it in the car, and Ant’ony would “stare into forests and fields and that.” There’s a lot of good content from Louis with Ant’ony in the X Factor house, but this is my summary in general, the embodiment of hahahahahaha:

After he’s done, we get Ayda praising Louis for getting the theme right, and then one of my fave moments of the night, Louis capturing the feeling of when the entire crowd is booing your boss, and you’re just trying to sell some pens, but you’d still stab him in the neck if you could (the head tilt he goes through is pure “try me, bitch”):

United Vibe (which I ALWAYS hear as United Five) comes out and does a predictably terrible job, so I won’t bore you with any of the particulars except to say that this is the high point of Ayda’s digs at Robbie (which have been consistent throughout the night), and this one cracks me up both for Louis’s reaction (it’s so pure and cackly):

And for Robbie’s (I mean, she’s not wrong: has ANYONE picked a Robbie song for a party in the USA?):

Bella’s indicative of Simon’s problems, and it’s hilarious to see him waking up to realize the terrible song choice and terrible shit happening on stage (as Louis says, “not sure what the moody guys behind you in shades are doing”), and Simon does his best to apologize because she’s a “star,” and meanwhile, she got upstaged by more than half the people on here tonight (and that said, it’s one of her better songs).

The show ends with Janice and the infamous Robbie/Louis camp discussion. Louis says it’s “a great vocal, but I found the creative to be a little bit cringe, it didn't really resonate with me,” etc. (AGAIN, he’s not wrong), and Robbie counters with, “Louis’s from Doncaster, and there's no camp people in Doncaster…at all…so he wouldn't get it,” and I personally read it as tongue in cheek (Robbie’s delivery is very dry, and this is Louis’s face, no eye-rolling, just tongue rolling):

So, make of that what you will, but I’d love to hear what anyone who saw it beyond gifs had to say! Oh, and hello to the person who hate-reads these recaps and calls them "fake" (how dare you, I spend actual, real time watching this garbage).

#recaps #xfuk #episode 17 #there are plenty of camp people in doncaster

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uomo-accattivante · 4 years

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This is a great article about how The Card Counter managed to finish principal photography after getting shut down mid-March due to COVID-19.

Also, it includes this interesting description from Paul Schrader about Oscar Isaac’s character, William Tell -- “So now I have a character and he’s in his room, he’s alone. And he has a mask on. And the mask he wears is a professional poker player. And the problem that runs alongside him is that he is a former torturer for the U.S. government. So it’s a mix of the World Series of Poker and Abu Ghraib.”

Having somehow weathered his way from enfant terrible to wizened survivor, Paul Schrader is a filmmaker who is simply not finished yet. Every time it might seem his career is on the wane, he resets, revitalizes and comes back again.

Just a few years after his 2014 film “Dying of the Light” starring Nicolas Cage was taken away from him by financiers — leading Schrader to disavow the movie — he received his first Oscar nomination (for original screenplay) after directing “First Reformed,” which was released in 2018 and starred Ethan Hawke as a troubled small-town minister.

Schrader’s work is marked by emotional intensity, intellectual vitality and an aesthete’s appreciation of style. His filmography is full of unusual corners that are still being discovered. The 1979 film “Old Boyfriends,” directed by Joan Tewkesbury with a screenplay by Schrader and his brother Leonard, was recently rereleased on home video. As was the 1990 film “The Comfort of Strangers,” directed by Schrader from a screenplay by Harold Pinter.

He’s been directing films from his own scripts since 1978’s “Blue Collar” starring Richard Pryor, Harvey Keitel and Yaphet Kotto. He went on to write and direct such films as “Hardcore,” “American Gigolo,” “Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters,” “Light Sleeper” and “Affliction.” His celebrated work as a screenwriter for director Martin Scorsese includes “Taxi Driver,” “Raging Bull,” “The Last Temptation of Christ” and “Bringing Out the Dead.”

Never one to shy from controversy onscreen or off, he directed Lindsay Lohan in the 2013 Hollywood-set thriller “The Canyons,” written by Bret Easton Ellis.

In March, Schrader was about three-quarters through the shoot for his next film, “The Card Counter,” in Mississippi — with a cast that includes Oscar Isaac, Tiffany Haddish, Tye Sheridan and Willem Dafoe — when the production was shut down due to the growing pandemic. In July, Schrader was able to shoot for an additional five days to complete production.

During the break in shooting, “The Card Counter” was picked up for distribution by Focus Features.

Schrader recently got on the phone to talk about the unusual circumstances of the film’s production and completion. A film critic before he became a filmmaker, Schrader not only had startling insights into his work, but also thoughts about what filmmaking and exhibition might be like in a post-COVID world.

Before we start talking about the production on the movie, could you just describe the story? What is “The Card Counter” about?

Well, I don’t want to get too deeply involved in the plot, but what I will say is over the years I’ve kind of developed my own little genre of films. And they usually involve a man alone in a room, wearing a mask, and the mask is his occupation. So it could be a taxi driver, a drug dealer, a gigolo, a reverend, whatever. And I take that character and run it alongside a larger problem, personal or social. It could be debilitating loneliness like in “Taxi Driver.” It could be a midlife crisis like in “Light Sleeper.” It could be an environmental crisis like in “First Reformed.”

So now I have a character and he’s in his room, he’s alone. And he has a mask on. And the mask he wears is a professional poker player. And the problem that runs alongside him is that he is a former torturer for the U.S. government. So it’s a mix of the World Series of Poker and Abu Ghraib.

How did you come to put those two things together?

I’m always looking for that. I’m looking for deep-seated problems, either personal or societal, and some kind of oddball metaphor. The more you get closer, you run these two wires next to each other, the more sparks you see flying across. And it’s in the sparks that the viewer comes alive. If the wires ever touch, there’s nothing left for the viewer to do. But if you keep these two wires really close to each other, the viewer will start to spark from one wire to the other. And that’s the greatest thing you can give a viewer or a reader, an opportunity to be part of the creation.

Let’s talk about the production and everything you’ve been through. Take me back to March. What was it like for you when the production had to shut down?

I have learned in my dotage how to make a quality film on a low budget. So the film I used to make in 40 days I now make in 20. And so “First Reformed” was 20. I had shot in Biloxi 15 days. Now I knew coronavirus was going to be rising, because when I heard that Macau shut down, I said, you know, it’s just a matter of time. Macau is the wealthiest gambling center in the world and I’m here in the gambling center of the Gulf. If Macau shuts down, it’ll reach Vegas, it’ll reach here. And we were doing a scene, a poker tournament with 500 extras. And I remember I said to the A.D., “We can’t put 500 people in a room without one of them being positive.” And sure enough, one of them was. Two days later, we not only closed down, all of the Gulf was closed down.

Fortunately, when I went back, I had shot my big crowd scenes. And also I had shot my sex scenes, which I would have hated to try to do under these restrictions. So all I had left when I went back was a number of scenes in the prisons, and four more scenes in the casinos, some driving scenes. So I was in pretty good shape. But I really wanted to finish the film.

And Oscar Isaac, he was on his way to Hungary to do reshoots for “Dune.” And he wanted to put off this reshoot till after “Dune” — to do it in September because he has a big beard and he didn’t want to shave off his beard. I said to him, “Oscar, there’s a window open right now in Mississippi.” I said, “If we don’t jump into this window while it’s open, this will become one of those famous films that never got finished, and we’ve got to exploit this moment.”

So I talked him off the ledge and he agreed to do it. And we were able to put everybody back together and do our week of prep and five days of shooting. It was very strange, and in a way it was kind of fun, in a summer camp sort of way. But I would hate, hate to make a whole film this way. It was an adventure for five days, it’s a nightmare for five weeks.

In the break from March to July, were you on high alert that you could come back at any moment? Were you editing the footage you already had?

Here’s what happened. I was editing. My editor is in New Jersey and my assistant editor is in Tennessee, so we’re all editing virtually. And I had four major dialogue scenes between my principal characters that I had not shot. Then I was able to screen virtually the film for a number of people I respect, like Scorsese, who is the executive producer, like [filmmaker and programmer] Kent Jones and other people. And what I asked them all is, “I have four more scenes to shoot. I can rewrite them. What am I missing? What do I need to add? How should I write these four scenes?”

And I started getting feedback about what they felt was missing. So I was able to rewrite these scenes and make these relationships much better. And not all productions get to do that. It’s a very expensive reshoot, but it was built-in that three-quarters of the way through, I have an opportunity to rewrite one-quarter of the meaningful character scenes. So I did, I rewrote it. And I realized what was missing. And I wouldn’t have realized that if I was shooting at the top. I would have only realized that in post. And I would have walked around the room kicking myself in the ass, saying, “I wish I had the opportunity to reshoot some scenes.”

How was getting everything back together?

As soon as Mississippi allowed us to come back, we came back. And of course nobody’s working, so everybody’s eager to come back. They are hyper-conscientious because they know they are only being allowed to work by the grace of God. And so the masks and the PPE and the hands and the distancing, you don’t need to tell any of the people this. They’re so happy to be at work. They have no problem with any of that.

You can only have one person within six feet of your actor at a time. That person could be hair, it could be makeup, it could be props, it can be the director, it could be another actor. And you kind of queue up. And a thing that I realized, we had a warehouse. So we did rehearsals for every scene in this warehouse. And I told the actors that when we get to the location, to the casino, the prop people will be in there, the lighting people will be there and then you will walk there with your mask on, and you will take the positions that you took in rehearsal. Then I will roll camera and you will take your masks off and we’ll play the scenes. So that’s how we did it.

Given everything that it takes to get to shooting, once you were back on set with the actors, did you still feel like they could give you the performances that you needed? Was it difficult to get to a place of artistic creation given all the other concerns that everyone has?

Because they had done the rehearsals, they had gone through the permutations of their performances before. So the only thing different for them was that they were in a real space rather than a fake space. As I explained to them, there would be no time for exploration on set. All the exploration you are going to do, we’re going to do here in the warehouse. I don’t want to hear one peep from you about changing anything once we get into this hothouse environment. So however many hours we have to spend in the warehouse, let’s spend it.

How close to finished are you with the movie now, considering you had a lot of it already cut together?

Basically, I’m finished, down to an hour and 49 minutes, which is where I think it should be. Obviously, I have to do the score, there’s the post-prod and the special effects, but the thing is that there’s no pressure to finish the film anymore at this time. I was talking to Focus, and I could give them the film in a month. They don’t want the film in a month because they don’t know what to do with it in a month. They said, you just take whatever time you need, which is the opposite of the way studios usually talk. I also have final cut, so it doesn’t really matter. What I deliver, I deliver.

When you made “The Canyons” you talked a lot about your feelings regarding the theatrical experience, VOD and streaming and contemporary filmmaking. What impact do you think the COVID shutdowns will have on movie theaters?

There’s a certain kind of film like “The Canyons,” which should be made for VOD, which is a kind of exploitation film. And there’s another kind of film like “First Reformed” that has to be mounted by film festivals and art-house cinemas, so that it has an identity prior to VOD. So if you’re on VOD and you see an Ethan Hawke film about a minister, you’re not going to say, “Oh, let’s watch that.” No, what you’re going to say is, “Oh, I heard about that film. I heard it was good.” Well, how did they hear it was good? They heard that from film festival reportage and they heard from their friends who have seen it at theaters. So that sets up VOD.

The opposite case is a film like “First Cow,” a film that was crushed by not having a theatrical window. And everybody is, “Should I watch ‘First Cow’?” They have no context. So what’s important for a film like “The Card Counter” is we have to give it context. We have to go to the festivals and we have to go to the art cinemas to tell people what we have in our hands. Then we can go to VOD, where the real money is. So “First Reformed” went to Telluride, Toronto, Venice and New York. That set the table. I would love to set the table for this one. I can go to all those festivals. That’s not a problem for me anymore. The problem is: Are festivals going to happen?

Do you think theaters are going to come back?

Not in the way they did. There are only four reasons for theaters to exist anymore. And this situation has accelerated these trends. Like symphonies and operas and live theater, concerts, they need a reason to exist. One reason is family cinema, because parents love to see their kids interacting with other kids. Animation films will always have an audience. Another is extraordinary spectacle. IMAX, virtual, whatever they come up with. Something you can’t see at home. The third is date movies for high schoolers, which is horror and rom-coms. Or rather, dirty rom-coms.

And then the fourth is club cinema. Which used to be called art cinema. But with these new institutions that are a combination of social institutions and cinematic institutions. So the Metrograph in New York has one restaurants and two bars. There’s more square footage devoted to eating and drinking than there is to watching movies. And yet it’s always full because people want to be in that environment. So then alcohol’s become the new popcorn. And those club cinemas, which were pioneered by Alamo, they will continue to exist because people want to be part of the club, people want to buy a membership. They want to eat and hang out, and they want to know which films have been approved by the club. Which is something you cannot get from VOD.

When “First Reformed” was coming out, you spoke about how you had made it thinking it could be your last film. And yet you seem so reenergized over the last few years. Do you feel that way? Have you been able to hit the reset button in some way?

Oddly, yes. I’m in the middle of a new script, which is about a horticulturalist. And what has happened in my case, following the disastrous situation I went through with “Dying of the Light,” I said, I would no longer work unless I had final cut. And once I got final cut, I was free. When I began, you didn’t really need final cut. When I was working in the studio system, all those other films, you were working with people who knew movies, who liked movies. Who you can talk to, you could disagree with — things would get changed, sometimes they’d get better, sometimes for worse in your mind, but you were working with people who liked movies, who watched movies. In the last 15 years, I’m dealing mainly with financiers, who not only don’t watch movies, don’t even particularly like them. And how can you have discussions with these people? And that’s what final cut freed me from, because I realized I couldn’t talk to these people. I wasn’t talking to [studio executives like] Barry Diller and Thom Mount and Ned Tanen anymore. I was talking to Joe Schmo from some hedge fund and I couldn’t talk to Joe Schmo. The only way I could talk to him was to have final cut.

I’m certainly excited to see what becomes of “The Card Counter.”

The new one is quite good. Focus told me not to hump it too much because that’s their job down the line. But you can take my word for it, it’s quite good.

###

#paul schrader had to convince oscar isaac to shave off his dune beard 😂#oscar isaac #william tell #the card counter #paul schrader #tye sheridan #willem dafoe #tiffany haddish #covid-19 #coronavirus #focus features #dune #dune 2020 #first reformed #the canyons #taxi driver #interview #los angeles times #la times

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newagesispage · 5 years

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FEBRUARY 2019

PAGE RIB

***** I am over the moon at the suggestion of a biopic of Dave Letterman starring Michael Shannon. Will somebody think about really putting this into production??? Please??

***** Criminal Minds will wrap it up after this next and 15th season. The season 14 finale on Feb.6 will have Rossi’s wedding. They will spend the last season chasing after ‘a worthy adversary’ rumored to be played by Harold Perrineau as they jump ahead in time.

***** I am so touched by shows like Grace and Frankie and Schitt’s Creek that look right past the usually discussed issues for interracial and same sex couples . Gee, just think, it’s like we are all the same.

***** If you haven’t seen Michael Bennet and his senate floor speech about Ted Cruz, government shutdowns and Trump, run to C-span and catch it. These things make me proud to be in a DEMOCRACY!

***** Can this be true?? The constitution of Texas states that one can’t hold public office unless they believe in a supreme being??

***** Julian Castro is running for President.

***** Kamala Harris is running for President.

***** Cory Booker is running for President.

***** HGTV is apparently working on a huge publicity stunt and ratings grabber. They have purchased the home whose exterior was used in the Brady Bunch. A show will reunite the cast, bring in some famous fane and remodel the inside to look like the Brady set. At the end they may give the house away.

***** Michael Shannon and Audra McDonald will team up to revive Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune on Broadway.

***** Rashida Jones and Bill Murray will star in Sofia Coppola’s’ On the Rocks.’

***** Why isn’t extreme ironing a bigger sport by now??** And can we make Petanque a bigger thing while we’re at it?

***** Craig Ferguson is selling his LA compound.

***** China has landed on the far side of the moon!!!

***** NASA’s New Horizons has went further than anyone has gone before for our first image of Ultima Thule.

***** Kentucky has introduced a bill to ban abortion in the state.

***** Told to a reporter: “It’s your job to speak truthfully and precisely, not mine.” –Kellyanne Conway** The new book, Team of Vipers, suggests that The Conways are working in concert. It is thought that she is valuable to Trump because she has no qualms about saying anything.

***** Super bowl LIII will host Maroon 5, Travis Scott and Big Boi. They will have no pre- concert interview. It is said that many artists turned down the gig because of the controversy. Maroon 5 has gotten some shit for performing but they caution us to just watch.** Roger Waters has asked Maroon 5 to take a knee during the show.

***** Natasha Lyonne is getting raves for her new show, Russian Doll.

***** Tom Sizemore was arrested for drug possession.

***** 6 NFL coaches were fired in one week!!!

***** Pentagon chief of staff, rear admiral Kevin Sweeney is out.

***** Rod Rosenstein is on the way out.

***** Jaymo’s, a Peoria company is suing Wendy’s over the use of their S’Awesome sauce.

***** We should enact the stop the stupidity act.

***** Why does it seem every other show on the air is sort of an entire season of a Twilight Zone episode?

***** There are more people in the Kremlin than in Washington who know what Trump said to Putin. – Tom Nichols

***** Members of congress can retire at full pay after 1 term. Children of congress members don’t have to pay back student loans. Is that true?? Can this be right??

***** Dupont is laying off workers.

***** Check out love your brain.com.

***** The Golden Globes were held and were hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh. My best dressed was Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Moss. Danai Gurira, Julia Roberts, Carol Burnett, Emily Blunt, Lupita Nyong’o, Patricia Clarkson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jameela Jamil, Rosamund Pike, Jim Carrey, Alison Brie, Gemma Chan and Bradley Cooper. Worst dressed goes to Rachel Weisz, Julianne Moore, Layra Dern, Anne Hathaway, Maya Rudolph, Rami Mlek, Molly Sims and Heidi Klum. I was so happy for winners like The Americans (highlight of the evening!!!), Regina King, Lady Gaga, Mahershala Ali, Patricia Clarkson, Darren Criss, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami Malek, Olivia Colman and Green Book. The Cecil B. DeMille award went to Jeff Bridges. The new Carol Burnett award started off with Carol herself. I was saddened that Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Kieran Culkin, Keri Russell and Sacha Baron Cohen went home empty handed. The Fiji water girl got most of the press and gave much free advertising to her product. Some of the stars did not like her getting in their shots to push a product without their knowledge, both a clever and sad state of affairs.

***** The Kominsky Method will be back for season 2.

***** The Sag awards had their big night and gave the lifetime achievement to Alan Alda. Winners included Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Black Panther, Rami Malek and Glenn Close. I was especially thrilled with some love goingto Jason Bateman and Patricia Arquette. Best dressed were Amy Adams, Yara Shahidi, Brian Tyree Henry, Sydelle Noel, Eddie Griffin, Holly Taylor, Sofia Hubitz, Emma Stone, Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Laverne Cox, Timothee Chalamet, Robin Wright, Lily Tomlin, Chadwick Boseman, Matthew Rhys, Keri Russell, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The WTF award goes to Alison Brie.

***** The Oscar race is on. Best picture could go to Blank Panther, Blackkklansman, Roma, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice, Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is born. Black Panther also got some love for music and costume design. Fingers crossed for Isle of Dogs in the animated category. Actor nods had a few surprises. Willem Dafoe and Rami Malek , Lady Gaga and Melissa McCarthy are up for leads and supporting mentions are for Mahershala Ali, Regina King, Adam Driver and Sam Elliott. I am so hopeful for Spike Lee and I want to hear that speech.

***** If you haven’t seen Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, you gotta check it out. He and Sarah Silverman should go on a tour of teaching acceptance for their fellow man.

***** So.. Fox news said that Ruth Bader Ginsberg was dead??

***** In sexual harassment news: Harvey Weinstein is hiring new lawyers.** Les Moonves is seeking arbitration with CBS.

***** Cher has sold her Beverly Hills cottage.

***** Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber’s daughter, Presley was arrested for DUI.

***** CBS news has named its first female President, Susan Zirinsky.

***** What is happening to the butterflies?

***** Illinois has refused a concert permit to R Kelly and Sony has dropped him. The pressure is finally starting to pay off??

***** Get ready for biopics about Harriet Tubman, Elton John and Ted Bundy.

***** NY mayor Bill De Blasio has given healthcare to every resident of NY city.

***** 25% of Russians do not have indoor toilets. Putin and his buddies have about $1trillion tucked away from London to Miami.

***** Days alert: I wonder if Leo’s real name ‘Matthew Cooper’ is a nod to out actor Chad Allen from Dr. Quinn??!! It is also fun to see Judith Chapman take on the role of Leo’s Mama, Diana. The pair played Mother and son previously on The Young and the Restless. Is she really Diana Colville from John’s past??** So Stefan has been played by Tyler Christopher who asked for some time off and a sub was put in place who will take over in March. Since Christopher left, he has since decided that he will leave permanently so things are up in the air. Will Stefan and Gabi hook up? Days has been renewed for season 55. HOORAY!!!! Ratings are up 4%. **Loved the line when Chloe told Rex he should wear a cup. **Leo and Xander’s playful “lust” was so sassy!!

***** Happy Valentine’s Day!

***** Steve Buscemi will play God on tv’s Miracle Workers.

***** So, the new Conan format has ups and downs. I miss the band and the desk but I am Loving the fade in and fade out at commercials. I have always hated the, “We’ll be right back “ nonsense. I was sad to lose a half hour at first but Conan and Andy do seem refreshed.

***** Still waiting for the release of Apple Seed which is written, directed and starring Michael Worth. It is one of the final films of Rance Howard who stars with his son, Clint, Adrienne Barbeau and the other Father and son team of Robby and Zephyr Benson.

***** The January Bob Segar concert in Illinois at the Peoria Civic Center is the top selling concert ever at this venue. Old rock acts take note.

***** Bob Costas is out at NBC after 40 years.

***** Trial and Error has been cancelled. BOO!!!

***** Steve Carell will star in Space Force which he is co-creating with The Office showrunner Greg Daniels.

***** Despite some people I admire that are giving Alexandria Ocasio Cortez a talking to like she’s a child, I say ‘Give ‘em Hell!’ She could well be President so fight girl!!

***** Word is that Karen Pence is now teaching at the Immanuel School in Virginia. The school refuses admission to students who participate in or condone homosexual activity. The application for the school states that misconduct includes heterosexual activity outside of marriage, homosexual activity, polygamy, transgender identity and use of pornographic websites. The application goes on to state that ‘a wife must submit to her husband’ and a pledge must be signed to that effect.

***** There is controversy over the bill to give people a day off for Election Day. Many people will still have to work, the country never completely shuts down. How many fucking times do I have to say it: VOTE BY MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

***** So, Scary clown told us Mexico would pay for ‘the wall’. During the campaign he gave actual ideas for that like Mexico giving us a one time payout or else he would not allow Mexican immigrants to western union money back to Mexico. Another idea was that there would be a great ta on that Western union money. It does not seem like they tried any of that and just decided we would pay for the stupid ‘wall.’ How about the money he makes off Trump merch which his website and hotels still sell to pay for it?? How about the $35 million that Trump sold in real estate in 2018? The ‘Wall’ go fund me did not reach its $1billion goal so the $20 million they did collect is being offered for refunds. Some of those people still want that money to go for its purpose so Trump is creating a non- profit. Can’t we use that money to help the border patrol agents and get the backlog in immigration court moving?? That we are still talking about this ridiculous wall and that it had a go fund me page is enough to boggle the normal brain.** I think Kimmel said it best when he suggested that Trump just tell the red hats that the wall has been built. They believe everything he says so why wouldn’t they believe that?? It would save the country a lot of headaches. ** What the Hell is with his new “wheels and walls” mantra??** Russia caused Brexit too? Putin is a menace.** Another sink hole appeared the White House. WTF?

***** The congressional budget office says the shut down cost the U.S. 11 billion

***** Trump is talking to Herman Cain about a job on the Federal Reserve Board.

***** The GOP is selling fake bricks that cost about 50 cents for $20 each to send to Senate Dems. Some have said that the Dems should sign them and sell them and give the money to government workers. ** Why are Russian jets fucking around on the North American coastline??

***** Roger Stone has been indicted on 5 counts of false statements, 1 count of obstruction and 1 count of witness tampering. The FBI officers who arrested him were part of the shut down and they still did their job!! He publically and privately claimed to have communicated with Russia. Predictions are that many more indictments are coming down the pike that involve many familiar faces.** Roger Stone has a Nixon tattoo on his back. I feel sorry for his cell mate.-Bill Maher

***** Bill Maher got some flak for comments after Stan Lee died. He wasn’t slamming Lee, but wondered about comic book fans putting away childish things. I suppose that could include weed but point taken.

***** Jared Kushner along with 30 other White House staff was denied top secret clearance but Trump advisor Carl Kline overruled that decision and gave it to them anyway. This has never been done before, this is a job for intelligent agencies.

***** Empire star Jussie Smollett was attacked in Chicago in what cops are saying was a possible hate crime. The attackers were yelling that this was MAGA country, poured bleach on him and put a rope around his neck. The actor was previously sent a letter full of homophobic and racist slurs which he FBI had been looking into.

***** Ellen page gave us some memorable, powerful words to chew on with her appearance on Stephen Colbert. I am sure she gave courage to many who suffer because of our hate filled administration.

***** Gwyneth Paltrow is being sued from a 2016 ski incident for 3 mil.

***** I gain more and more respect for Seth Meyers. I did not really understand the choice of him as host in the beginning. His notice of local stations, choice of guests and revolving drummers makes for a great show.

***** A Dutch company may have invented a small device that converts heat into cold and Forbes is saying, ‘it could save the planet.’

***** So looking forward to Ryan Murphy’s The Politician which will star Jessica Lange, Gwyneth Paltrow and January Jones.

***** I know that is has happened little by little and we go thru times in our history when things get worse and then things get better but… When did this country get so fucking corrupt?? I mean seriously.. Why is Brendan Dassey still in prison and why is there no real justice for Teresa Halbach? ** Why is Trump still in the White House?**Why are government workers being told to work for nothing?? Why is R Kelly still living it up?? Why are some states going backward in time when it comes to women’s health?? Why do many corporations care more about their own pockets than the children of their employees or the environment around them??** Why does our justice system so often punish big for small infractions and allow the powerful to do anything they want?? **Why is a wall a better idea than infrastructure or warm beds for the homeless or food for our children and why are so many children in cages??

***** How can it be that we are still in a world where people are not allowed to reach their full potential?? Why do so many selfish humans actually fight to live in a world where they actively hold others back? Shouldn’t we all be concerned about the greater good? We should all be allowed to see a Doctor when we are ill. We should all be able to excel in education if we choose .We should all be able to get a job to fit our skills and work ethic. Opportunities and the pursuit of happiness should be available to all. Why is this so fucking hard for so many to grasp in this world? Imagine!

***** Sundance premiered the new flick, Big time adolescence with Griffin Gluck and Pete Davidson. Pete has since made no bones about filming in Syracuse. He hated it.

***** Jeff Flake will join CBS news as a contributor.

***** Tom Brokaw is in a bit of trouble for saying Hispanics should work harder at assimilation.

***** The Tom Hanks/ Matthew Rhys film, A beautiful day in the neighborhood has pushed back its release date to Nov. 22.

***** People are illogical and self- centered. Love them anyway. -Hedy Lemarr

*****R.I.P. Bob Einstein, Millie Wiesehan, victims of the Torrance. Ca. bowling alley shooting, Captain Darryl Dragon, Jo Andres, Lamin Sanneh, Carol Channing, Sandra Harmon, Bradley Bolke, the victims of Mediterranean shipwreck, Lorna Doom, victims of the Florida bank shooting, Kaye Ballard, Willie York , Barbara Claman , victims of the mining dam collapse in Brazil and James Frawley.

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