playing for keeps – preview
alexia putellas x childhoodfriend!barçaplayer!reader
warning: light angst
status: work in progress
(a/n in the tags) [parts: preview]
The car ride was deafening in its silence.
In Alexia’s defense, she’d done everything she could to fill it: she’d tried asking you about your flight and when that didn’t work, she started talking football. She asked you about your last season, about how you won your league and wondered about how that must’ve felt; inquired about your negotiations with the club and how you felt about returning back to Barça–solicited for the reason that made you inclined to come back. Heck, she even tried to get you talking by mentioning things you used to do or like–things she didn’t know you didn’t do nor like now.
For every question, you’d given her the same kind of nothing. A yes, a no, or a hum. There was a weight in your chest that exhausted you past the point of exchanging pleasantries and niceness, a seemingly impossible task for the tiredness in your bones, your soul. So you excused yourself, told her it was the jet lag, and you saw the way the light in her eyes dimmed with disappointment, training them on the road with deliberate focus, her lips tightening to a line of silence.
You still knew the language of her face and body–how could you not when they’d carve themselves into the tissues of your mind?–to perceive that she wasn’t entirely convinced with what you just said because maybe, just maybe, you were to her as she was to you: familiar. The thought provided little comfort, made your chest heavier with guilt even, another stone dropped into the pitcher.
The feeling gave way to another thought, unpleasant in the way it told you what you already knew, ‘Way to treat the person who took time out of their precious night to drive you to your apartment when she could be using that time to rest for tomorrow’s practice. How nice.’
And then, another.
‘Just like how you treated Olivia, right?’
The reminder made you close your eyes from the sting that followed, a stitch torn from its place in a wound newly closed, and you tried to prevent the tears’ impending arrival but the darkness that followed served to rub salt to the cut as it made the fleeting images clearer, the words ever louder.
“I’m so stupid! So stupid…”
“Go. Please, just go. You won’t find happiness here.”
A touch on your arm startled you back to the present, the jostle from the gasp you let out just enough to make a tear fall, and you found Alexia with her eyes on you, concern and a question reflected in their light.
The car had stopped, parked outside of your apartment complex.
“What’s wrong?” Soft was the way she spoke the words but the look she laid upon you was even more gentle. Your heart lurched–away or towards her, you weren’t sure–and you ached, and for what exactly, you didn’t know but the question made you reminisce about the old times, back to when you used to tell each other everything.
But how could you tell her about this? About what led to this? When the fire from that night remained in your chest, glowing and waiting patiently as an ember in the night, waiting for the wind to call her name–to set her aflame again?
You casted your eyes aside and turned your head away so you could wipe the tear that fell, before you met her eyes again. You said with a small smile, apologetic.
“Nothing. I’m just–I’m sorry for being a bitch.”
Alexia regarded you for another moment, eyes tracing some invisible path along your face, long enough that you considered she’d ask you more about why you cried just then. Instead, she said with a half-smile, teasing, “Don’t worry about it. What else is new?”
Your shoulders eased down a bit.
“Still a smart-mouth, I see. Indeed, what else is new?”
At your response, the both of you chuckled but the pressing silence returned.
“How long has it been since we’ve played together?”
Alexia whispered with a wistful tone, brows knitting together at her question as she leaned back against her seat, putting her arms behind her head which pulled the sleeves of her shirt to reveal the tattoo under her arm.
You turned your gaze away, to the unlit window of your apartment.
“Too long.”
“Two years too long.” Alexia corrected you and then she shook her head, “I know you already explained it but I still don’t understand why you went to the States out of all places. Out of all your options, you had to choose the furthest one.”
You shrugged, hunching forward so you could rest your elbows on your knees, fingers clasping together as you twiddled your thumbs.
“You knew I’ve always wanted to see what the league is like there.”
“Right,” Alexia drawled in a tone that told you she was, in fact, aware that she didn’t know–that what you said was a load of bullshit. “So, what’s the verdict?”
‘It wasn’t like home.’
“I can hear your judgment all over your tone.��� You replied drily then added, “It was great, thank you very much.”
Alexia laughed and strands of her hair fell to her face which she brushed back with a finger before she sank further into her seat.
“Well, you should tell me more about how you enjoyed yourself, then. Surely, you must have a lot of stories to tell.” You heard the unspoken words, ‘Stories you never bothered to tell me through the phone or during the instances we’d met during the time you were away.’
Still you answered her in your mind, ‘I would’ve enjoyed it better if you were there.’
“Where do you want me to begin?” If Alexia heard the weary sigh in your tone, she made no indication she did.
“I don’t know. Where do you want to start?”
‘I went away because of you.’
“At this point, we’ll be here all night.” You laughed.
Alexia laughed along. “Just tell me anything then.”
‘Distance didn’t work. You still have my heart.’
You hummed, thinking of a story, easing back in your seat finally and then you began.
“Well…”
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Ok. Fun scooby-doo jokes are over. Time for a graphic birthing scene as Star Flower enters premature labor after being starved for days and running to get away from a bunch of stinky, dirty rogues.
The writers will see a woman character and ask, "Is anyone going to describe the pain and viscera in intense, obsessive detail?" and not even wait
*Shrek voice* she doesn't even get the birthing stick
(under a cut because eurgh)
It's gotta be super dramatic, to really tease the audience with the idea that Clear Sky might lose a third pregnant wife for his pain.
Star Flower has been put through such INTENSE torment to make Clear Sky feel bad and rally the cats to come together to help him out that it's taken me out of it completely.
Gray Wing also realizes he's been thinking about Star Flower too much, while she's bleeding out and giving birth several weeks early after escaping Slash's Torment Nexus, so he takes a moment to rotate his brother around in his head for a bit.
"He'd been so panicked about Star Flower that he hadn't thought about his brother," who is apparently going to get set upon by a band of Slash's angry rogues all alone in this fantasy daydream Gray Wing has conjured up in his head.
Like, apparently Clear Sky is going to leave the meeting with Slash, get told about the secret plan to rescue Star Flower which was happening concurrently (already happened; we saw this), then jump up and run from what everyone's told him, bolt towards a camp he doesn't know the location of, and a patrol of Slash's warriors are going to find him?
ok.
Anyway then all the women come together to midwife for Star Flower.
And then Clear Sky and Star Flower cuddle around the new kits and act all cute. The "pure love" in Clear Sky's eyes is focused on, everyone recommends he takes extra good care of his premature kits, etc. He's So Totally Changed Now, through the magic of wife and babies.
All I'm thinking about is how he kills one of these children later, by refusing to allow Acorn Fur to complete her training and throwing a tantrum about how "SkyClan doesn't ask for help unless we have no choice!" when she tells him she can't treat his son's fox-inflicted mauling alone.
One more patented brother moment between Clear Sky and Gray Wing
I'm just gonna be honest, man... I hear from a LOT of people that this tugs at their heartstrings, so maybe I just don't "get it." But this WHOLE series long, Gray Wing has pissed himself over how Clear Sky can't have possibly "changed that much" from when they were children, won't accept that he's a child-beating and woman-slaughtering tyrant, IMMEDIATELY jumps to his defense at every turn even when it's ridiculous, and here's the payoff.
Hugging and sniffing his Dear Brother and having a flashback to them being babies at their mother's breast, secure in the knowledge he was right all along.
That every time he downplayed abuse, shoved people towards a situation where they'd be in danger, or prevented others from recognizing Clear Sky as the threat he was, he was correct that Clear Sky, in contrast to the EEEVIL rogues, was a good boy. Nothing about Clear's behavior has actually changed besides having MORE children to endanger.
This is chapter SIX of the LAST BOOK and we already saw Clear Sky using abuse tactics earlier to try and manipulate Thunder into doing what he wants.
So, I can't sympathize with the "heartwarming" reaction. "Ohh it's so sweet that the dear brothers are having flashbacks to when they were 6" I cannot relate. Idk how you can watch AMVs of this without wanting to set them both on fire. Thunder should get a restraining order.
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What do the Ros think about having kids in the future?
a sudden heavy hitter enters the ring! what happened to hi. hello. how are you /j
jinwol is an interesting case because he's been raised to believe he should have kids rather than whether or not he does want kids which means he refuses to actually think about it. i think he'd be delighted to have them if he was with a partner he loved from of the bottom of his heart but otherwise he feels obligated to so they're like, fine or whatever.
yul isn't against having kids but it's not something they're that into either. tbh i think they're kind of terrified of how tiny and fragile they are LOL. they'd be a responsible babysitter as long as you told them exactly what to do but they have zero clue how to interact with children.
iseul wants to adopt kids! she loves kids! she's let kids hold her sword and swing it around PLUS she's the reigning champ of the unofficial piggyback competition the younger disciples of her sect hold. (she's their beloved elder sister after all.)
??? would be down to have a child but in the spirit of honesty they'd be a terrible parent. absolutely not.
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