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jambearie · 1 year
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bluedillylee · 24 days
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the first and last time Geralt suggested he sleep on the floor when there was only one bed at the inn
you know once Geralt finally got in bed and was almost asleep Jaskier whispered “so are you overcome with lust now that you’re touching my nubile young body” and he almost got up and bedded down with Roach in the stable lol
[ID Jaskier leans dramatically back on the bed as Geralt stands awkwardly next to the bed. Jaskier is laughing as he says “oh no! A scoundrel alone in a room with me? My precious virtue will be in danger sharing a bed with such a handsome rogue. Please good sir I am an innocent bard who has never known the touch of a man” End ID]
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its-bread-bitch · 9 months
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Here’s the thing:
Jaskier doesn’t have a horse. I mean yeah, technically he has Pegasus but in nw and most fanon media he doesn’t. The man walks at the same pace as a horse every day for twenty years. And I’m sure Geralt let him put SOME things on Roach, but probably not much. She’s Geralt’s horse and needs to carry his things AND Geralt, no one wants her to be over extended with bard stuff. So that means Jaskier carries all his stuff himself which is AT MINIMUM, his lute, notebooks, probably like 3 sets of relatively complex performing outfits and road clothes, all his fancy cosmetic stuff, a bedroll, and his METAL coin money. He also probably has first aid things like bandages and potions, frivolous things like baubles and jewelry, food, water, and probably other bard stuff like spare strings and such.
Yeah, Jask is depicted as traveling without bags but that’s just not possible. He probably carries his own essentials and as someone who backpacks— that alone is usually 20+ lbs. WITH modern technology aimed at making things lighter. Thats not counting all the fancy stuff he’s prone to and his career tools. Jaskier is probably hauling like 40-50lbs or more of stuff EVERY DAY while mostly roughing it off the land and keeping pace with a man on horseback. Oh, and this is WHILE SINGING AND TALKING the entire time. Can you imagine this man’s lung capacity? To sing and talk constantly while exerting himself?
This is all to say: Jaskier is strong as fuck and fit as hell. The thing is though, he probably doesn’t even recognize it. Yeah, he probably knows he’s got the muscle and such, but he still is largely perceived as a delicate person. He PROJECTS being delicate. Being fragile and pampered and in need of the finer things. He projects capable, but not strong. This. Is. Hilarious.
Jaskier, having already walked 12 miles at a moderate incline carrying 40lbs of stuff without breaking a sweat (it’s barely past midday): Geralt I am FRAGILE. I cannot POSSIBLY walk through this mud. (It’s like a 3 ft section) I’m not a rugged mountain man like you, I’m simply not BUILT for this!
Geralt, staring at Jaskier who’s as burly as most Witchers and has walked the path w/o Witcher training for over a decade: hm
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fenrir-flamekeeper · 2 months
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bucketfairies · 1 year
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raynecreates · 2 months
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disdaidal · 8 months
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"I do not wish to fight you." THE WITCHER S03E06
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demigoddessqueens · 9 months
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*me, at the Trope™️ store
The reluctant father figure who adopts a scruffy child?
Yes I would like some more please 🙏
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kamensummerpowa · 1 year
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-don't copy or repost without credit-
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eskelhashugetitties · 9 months
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Girlfriend say something normal about Joey Batey challenge (failed)
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darkverrmin · 9 months
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Radovid: So, you and Jaskier have been friends for years, huh? Sorry if this is a weird question, but maybe you could give me some advice? I'm new to this entire relationship thing
Geralt, who is still traumatized from Burn Butcher Burn: Just be nice to him
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bluedillylee · 1 year
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Is your witcher creepy or wet today
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yetanotherknitter · 1 year
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it has been? months??? years????? I have had a dramatic break up and begrudging reconciliation with the Netflix Witcher and I still! can't! stop! thinking about that moment in s2 when yen hears jaskier playing in the distance and just. relaxes.
specifically I can't stop thinking about it in the context of that OTHER moment in s2 where yennefer reunites with her friends at aretuza and they spend the first few minutes being Very Mean before clinging to each other in abject relief they're all alive and y'all I think yennefer thinks she and jaskier are friends
like, they've known each other for decades and they meet up every so often to trade snide remarks and drink and maybe commiserate over geralt being *gestures at all of geralt* and that's basically friendship right? at least, according to her shitty childhood and all the socialization she got at the trauma factory of aretuza they're practically besties
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fenrir-flamekeeper · 1 month
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what jaskier imagines it looks like when he says he’s the damsel in distress [ID under cut]
[ID: fully rendered digital drawing of Jaskier and Geralt from witcher netflix. Geralt has his right arm wrapped around Jaskier’s shoulders and pulls him in for a dramatic kiss. Geralt is wearing all black, and he is holding a bloody silver sword in his left hand. He is covered in blood. Jaskier is wearing his red coat, holding Geralt by the back of his neck. They’re standing in the middle of the forest, surrounded by fog, and glowing red eyes peek out from behind the fog. ID end.]
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helpfulhellhounds · 1 year
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~*tension*~
the witcher 1x04: of banquets, bastards, and burials
[image description: two sequential digital paintings; in the first painting, jaskier kneels near a window at the foot of a bathtub with a soft, open gaze. in the second painting, geralt sits in the tub with his arms propped up on the rim and stares back with a guarded expression.]
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lexawxlf · 1 year
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After Henry Cavil leaves everything is the same except it’s joey Batey in a cheap white wig and no one mentions it
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Images curtesy of @tuupang
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