#with a bit of nicotine i don't know i don't really care

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Vice.

Synopsis - Everyone on the team has their vices. It just so happens that yours is sat across the table looking at you.

Pairing - Luke Alvez x Female Reader

Warnings - smut. cursing. luke has a gorgeous filthy mouth.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 1.6k

Author's Note - my baby my baby my BAAAAAABY!! I have been in love with this man for years and years and I can't believe I haven't written more for him. if you ever have a luke request, please send it to me. love him with my whole heart <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

Vice - a weakness of character or behaviour; a bad habit. "Cigars happen to be my father's vice."

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"Italian food."

The entire team laughs, faces illuminated by the warm yellow lights in Rossi's backyard.

"Yeah, no shit," Tara retorts, looking pointedly at Dave. "Doesn't take a behavioural analyst to figure that one out."

"Look, you asked the question, I answered."

He reclines back in his chair and takes a sip of his wine, looking around the table.

"Okay Tara, you go. What's your vice?"

She chuckles to herself before confessing.

"Super steamy period romances."

Everyone bursts into more laughter.

"Wait, what?"

"What kind?"

She's clutching at her sides as she answers.

"All kinds! Movies, books, TV shows. If it has corsets and sex, I'm in."

Your cheeks are aching from smiling so hard. You're not sure who first raised the initial question, but it's really allowed you to get to know each other a little bit deeper.

"Okay, enough about me. Simmons, what's your vice?"

"I have six kids. I don't have time for a vice."

He sounds serious, but he's grinning as he says it.

"I think the six kids are a result of an old vice."

The words leave your mouth before you can stop them, several glasses of wine almost obliterating your verbal filter. Your team howl with laughter.

"No comment," Matt wheezes, wiping tears from his eyes. "Golfing is a safer option now. No risk of unplanned surprises."

"I had to change mine after kids, too," JJ chimes in. "I used to smoke cigarettes after bad cases, but I can't anymore. What kinda mom would I be if I lectured the boys about the dangers of nicotine, and then got caught chain smoking in the backyard?"

"A cool one," you shrug, yelping when she jokingly punches you in the arm.

"What about you, hotshot?" she asks, the whole team turning their attention to you. "What's your vice?"

You desperately avoid any eye contact, trying to play it cool. You just know Luke has that glint in his eye as he looks at you pointedly.

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"Oh, fuck," you groan, fingers threading into the dark curls of his hair.

"Shhh, honey," he murmurs, lifting his head from between your legs to look up at you. "You and I both know how much trouble we'll be in if we get caught."

He dives back in, tongue gliding and flicking all the spots that make you keen. You slap one hand over your mouth, the other grappling to hold onto the leather beneath you.

"Bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?" he taunts, condescension dripping from his tone. "The thrill turns you on, doesn't it, baby? The risk of getting caught only makes you hotter."

You whine against your palm, bucking your hips to urge him to keep going.

"What do you want, princesa? Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

He loves this. Loves hearing you beg. Loves having you relinquish complete control and let him take care of you. Loves that he can turn you, the most independent, headstrong woman he knows, into a whining, needy mess.

"Fingers," you croak out. "Make me come, Luke, please."

He grins up at you like the cat who got the cream, self satisfied smirk never leaving his lips.

"Okay, baby," he soothes. "Since you asked so pretty."

He slides two fingers into you with embarrassing ease, crooking them in the way he knows you like.

"Oh, sweet girl, what would the team think? Huh? What do you think they'd say if they saw you like this, letting me finger fuck you in the backseat of my car in the parking garage?"

He's muttering lowly, under his breath, but you hear him clear as day. He loves to patronise you, tease you, get under your skin. In everyday life, he treats you with the utmost respect. In bed, not so much. You love it.

"Couldn't even wait until we got home. Poor baby, just had to take the edge off."

His eyes meet yours, like a magnetic force. His gaze is so dark, it has you squirming in place.

"It was the shirt," you choke out. "Fucking shirt."

"Hmm?" he hums against you, the vibrations pulling you closer to the edge.

"Your shirt," you moan as his thumb finds your clit. "Makes your arms look so, fuck, so big."

Oh, you shouldn't have said that. You can practically see his ego inflating.

"I'll let you wear it tomorrow morning, if you want. If you can still walk by then, that is."

You're right on the precipice, orgasm almost within reach. If he keeps talking to you like this, you'll be at the finish line in no time.

"Oh, I've got a better idea. Why don't I fuck you in it?"

The idea makes your head spin, sending you straight into your climax. Sharp white heat licks up your spine, curling your toes and arching your back. Your grip tightens in his hair and he groans, low and honeyed.

"That's it, baby," he's murmuring. "Ride it out. Good girl."

You finally relax, melting into the leather seats. Luke crawls from his position to lean over you, resting his body onto yours. He kisses you gently at first, then dirtier as you come back to yourself.

"My place or yours?" he whispers against your lips.

"Yours is closer."

"Mine it is."

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"Hello? Earth to Hotshot?"

JJ nudges you playfully, grinning at you from ear to ear.

"What you thinking about?"

"Nothing," you stutter, clearing your throat. "Nothing at all."

You make the mistake of lifting your gaze from your lap. There, staring at you from across the table, is Luke Alvez. You almost wish you could slap that smug smirk off of his face.

"Come on, girl!" Tara hollers.

"Everyone has a vice," Spencer begins. "You have to. Especially in our line of work. We have to have some kind of outlet. Some sort of release."

Release. You almost choke on your wine, patting yourself on the chest.

"Yeah, no. I, uh, I like British reality TV. I guess that's mine."

The team laugh, everyone teasing you relentlessly. You risk a glance at Luke, and regret it immediately. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and chuckles, knowing look in his eye. You're petrified for a moment that he can read your mind.

"Okay then Spence. Your turn," you prompt, desperate to take the attention off yourself.

Spencer starts rambling about quantum physics, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Relief.

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"Yeah, this is what you needed, isn't it baby?"

You try to respond, but Luke's huge hands wrapped around your throat are making it a little difficult.

"My poor sweet girl, just needed some relief huh? You sick of being in charge all the time? You want me to take care of you?"

His tone is low and melted, the timbre of it settling into your bones. All you can do is whine and nod your head in response.

His hips repeatedly snap into yours, his body melded to you. He's completely smothering you with his weight, but you don't mind. You like the closeness.

You lean up to kiss him, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth. He's swallowing your moans, leaning his head forward to rest against yours.

"Fuck, you sound so pretty," he groans. "You gonna come for me, mama? Give me what I want?"

"Yes," you breathe. "Yes. Please, baby. Please."

"Who am I to deny you when you beg so fucking sweet?"

The hand that's not around your throat snakes between your sweat slicked bodies to rub circles on your clit, throwing you over the edge.

Your back arches, hips writhing on Luke's soft cotton sheets. You're squeezing him so tight he's seeing stars.

"Oh fuck baby, oh fuck."

Luke goes boneless, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. He releases his grip on your throat and wraps both arms around you, pressing you together impossibly closer.

"We get better at this every time," he chuckles.

You smack him jokingly, before bursting into laughter. Soon, the two of you are crying happy tears, revelling in the afterglow.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"I'm gonna get a refill. Anyone need anything from the kitchen?"

You stand from your seat and make your way inside, taking note of the replies.

"I'll help you," Luke says, rising to join you. Neither of you see the way everyone at the table looks at each other knowingly.

You're barely through the door when you feel him against you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He presses a kiss onto your shoulder, murmuring in your ear.

"I'm your vice, aren't I?"

You shake your head, breathing out a laugh.

"In your dreams, Alvez."

He nips at your neck before continuing.

"Admit it. I'm your dirty little bad habit that you just can't kick."

You turn in his arms to face him, running your fingers through his hair.

"Talk the talk all you want, Luke. You and I both know this works both ways."

Your quirk your brow at him, and he leans in and kisses you chastely.

"Old habits die hard, huh?" he grins.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," you smirk back.

Outside, the team decide they'll continue to let you both lie to them for a little while longer. It's more fun for everyone that way.

#luke alvez fic #luke alvez fluff #luke alvez x you #luke alvez smut #luke alvez x reader #luke alvez #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #adam rodriguez #luke alvez x reader smut #luke alvez x y/n #luke alvez imagine #the bau #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x oc #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

Another Kat HC of Hanma ::: He gets hard really easy so stimulating him will be a piece of cake.

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A/N ::: Thank you, Kat.

C/W ::: MDNI under the cut, please.

WC ::: 2k (+/-)

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"What're you doing, princess? What ... are ... you ... up ... to?" Hanma leaned forward a little from where the two of you sat on the couch to try and see your face. You were smooshed up against his side, under his left arm. Neither of you are really paying attention to the movie that was on. He patted your shoulder with his hand, "Asked you a question, you little delinquent. The fuck you think you're doin' down there?" He exhaled smoke through his laugh.

"I'm not doing anything. Just rubbing my hand on your leg and enjoying your company, Shuji. Is that a crime? And I'm not the delinquent in this partnership. You are. Don't project your shortcomings onto me, you ass."

"That's not my leg that y'rubbin there, princess. You know damn well what you're rubbin' on." He smirked and shifted so he was facing you. "Care to tell me why you're being so … whatever this is, tonight?"

“I just thought that's what you wanted. I saw the bulge in your pants before you came and sat down next to me. This is your doing.” You sat up and scooted away from him.

“Where you rumplin’ off to? I didn't say you could go anywhere, baby doll.”

You giggled and leaned back into his side, resting your head on his chest. You were getting tired of the movie anyway. Might as well put your attention on Hanma.

He took another long drag of his cigarette and looked down at you. You felt his eyes on you, but you pretended to keep your focus on the movie. He let out a soft sigh and ran his fingers through your hair.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Hanma's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Of course, Shuji. I love you too." You reached up and caressed his cheek. He nuzzled into your touch and you couldn't help but smile.

"I'm gonna get hard again if you keep doing that, you know?" His breath tickled your neck as he leaned over to whisper in your ear.

You moved your hand from his cheek to his thigh and gently squeezed it. "Why don't you give me something to work with, then?" You saw his cock twitch through his baggy khakis and you smirked.

Hanma chuckled and pressed his lips to your ear, "I don't know if I have anything to offer you, sweetheart. But if you wanna get me off, I'm sure you can find a way."

You lifted yourself up and straddled his lap, causing him to grunt in surprise. "I'm sure I can figure something out, my big strong boy."

Hanma snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray beside him and turned his attention back to you. He bit his lip as he watched you move your hand up his thigh and brush it against his erection.

"Boy ... BOY? I don't know about that, princess. But I like that you think I'm strong."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him softly. Hanma smiled into the kiss and ran his hands up and down your back. "I know you are, baby. You're the strongest boy I ever did meet."

He chuckled and grabbed your hips, lifting you up and laying you down on the couch. He leaned over you and kissed your neck, his tongue grazing your skin as he moved down to your collarbone.

You moaned and tangled your fingers in his hair. He moved back up and kissed you deeply, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You could taste the tobacco and nicotine on his lips and tongue, but it wasn't enough to stop you from kissing him back. In a sick way, you'd become addicted to his taste. As foul as it was, you associated it with kissing him and sometimes, if you're in the right kind of mood and you smell cigarettes out and about, it'll give you that initial rush of arousal. It's not the same for you, but it's good for him.

Hanma pulled away and started unbuttoning your shirt, his long, thin fingers deftly moving from one button to the next. "You want me to fuck you, baby? Huh? You want me to make you feel good? You know I will. I'll do anything for you, princess."

You moaned and arched your back, pushing your chest up into his touch as he slipped your shirt off and tossed it to the floor. He sat up and quickly removed his own shirt before leaning back over you.

"You're my baby girl, you know that?" He pressed his lips to your forehead and you felt your stomach flip. "So perfect. So sweet." He trailed kisses down your neck and to your chest, his breath hot on your skin. "You want me to make you cum, baby? Hmm? Want me to fill you up with my cock and make you scream my name?" He pressed his erection against your core and you whimpered.

"Yes, Shu, god, please fuck me. Make me feel good. Pleasepleaseplease." You wrapped your legs around his waist and bucked your hips up into his. He smirked and slowly thrust against you. "Please, Shuji."

Hanma chuckled and pulled away from you, causing you to whine. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down, his erection springing free and slapping against his abdomen.

"I will never get tired of seeing that." You giggled as you said that under your breath. More for yourself than him, but he still heard you.

He winked at you and knelt down in front of the couch. "Come sit here, baby." He motioned for you to sit on the edge of the couch. You did as he asked and he grinned.

"Good girl. Now spread those pretty legs for me. Let me see you." He grabbed your thighs and gently pushed them apart, exposing your already dripping wet core. He licked his lips and leaned forward, pressing his tongue against your clit.

You gasped and grabbed his hair, pulling him closer. "Hohmygod, Shuji, don't stop. Don't stop. Please, baby." You could feel him smile against you as he lapped at you.

Hanma slipped his finger into your core and curled it upward. You cried out and bucked your hips against his face. He kept sucking and licking your clit, his finger working in and out of you at a steady pace.

You felt yourself getting close and you tugged on his hair. "Shu ... I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum, baby, please. Please."

Hanma pulled away and smiled up at you, his lips and chin glistening with your arousal.

"W-wh- the hell, Hanma. Why'd you stop? You playin' some kinda game today? Fuck man." You pouted your best pout at him and began moving your hand over to your needy cunt. "Guess I'll have to take care of this myself. Woe is me. Woe ... is ... me." Your fingers worked your clit with the most precise accuracy. Like you were a computer that had received a set of perfect instructions.

The look on Hanma's face was that of betrayal. "What're y'doin'? Tryna hurt my feelings, princess? Goddamn it, y/n." He swatted your hand away and moved back in between your legs, his tongue instantly finding its way back to your clit.

You moaned and arched your back, pushing yourself against his face. "That's better. This pussy might be attached to you. But so long as you're my girl, this is my pretty little toy. Got it?" He asked, sounding more agitated than you thought he would. Which made you incredibly happy. You couldn't resist fucking with him. You rarely could. But today was not one of those days.

You nodded and tangled your fingers in his hair again. "Yes, Shuji. All yours. This pussy is all yours. Please make her cum." You bucked your hips up into his mouth and he groaned.

His finger slipped back into your core and you felt yourself getting close again. "Shu ... I'm gonna cum. Y-you - cum for me, too, baby."

Hanma pulled away again and stood up. He grabbed your arms and pulled you off the couch, turning you around and bending you over the armrest. He rubbed his cock against your entrance, teasing you.

"You want me, baby? Hmm?" His words were strained as he pressed the head of his cock against your opening, slipping just that in, you felt the intrusive pop of his dick warming your insides.

"Yes, Shuji ... fuck." You wiggled your ass against his groin and he grunted, pushing himself deeper into you. "Fuck me, baby. Please, Shu." You were begging for it, but it didn't seem to be enough for him.

"You want me to fuck you, princess? You sure?" He chuckled and grabbed your hips, pushing himself in until his cock was buried deep inside you. "You sure you can handle it? You sure you can handle allll this meat I'm feedin' you? You better open wide, slut. You're gonna dine well tonight."

You cried out as he began to thrust in and out of you, his cock filling you up so completely that you thought you might burst. "Shuji! Fuck!" You felt tears welling up in your eyes and you knew that this was going to be the best orgasm of your life.

"That's it, princess. Take all of my cock." He pulled nearly all of the way out and then thrust back in. He had always managed to brush against every single area of your insides that drove you to see stars. You could feel your walls pulsating around him as he moved in and out of you.

Hanma picked up the pace, his hips slamming against your ass as he fucked you. You moaned and gripped the armrest, your knuckles turning white as you held on for dear life.

He grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you back, arching your spine and causing your tits to bounce with each thrust. "That's it, baby. You take my dick so well. Such a good little slut. So tight. So wet. Goddamn." His words were a mess, but it was music to your ears.

"Shu ... I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum. Pleeease let me cum." Your voice was breathless, but you managed to get the words out.

Hanma leaned forward, nibbled on your ear and growled, "Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my dick."

You moaned and felt yourself coming undone. Your legs shook and you felt your pussy clench around his cock as you came. He grunted and you felt him still inside of you, his cum filling you up.

Hanma pulled out and you collapsed onto the couch, your legs unable to support you anymore. He chuckled and flopped down next to you, pulling you close to his chest.

"Fuck, that was good. You're so good, baby." He kissed your forehead and you smiled.

"Mmm, you're not so bad yourself, Shu. I love you."

He laughed and squeezed you tighter. "Love you, princess."

The two of you sat there, basking in the afterglow of your lovemaking, until you finally decided it was time to get cleaned up.

"Shu, I'm gonna go hop in the shower. Wanna come with?" You stood up and looked down at him. He smirked and nodded.

"You know I do, baby." He grabbed your hand and followed you into the bathroom, the two of you taking turns washing each other off and exchanging soft kisses under the warm spray of water.

You knew that Hanma was always horny and you didn't mind that one bit. After all, he made you feel so good, you couldn't complain.

Too much.

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@kazutora-kurokawa @darkstarlight82 @southside-otaku @viburnt @katshimizuu

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#hanma shuji #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo rev #hanma shuji x reader #hanma shuji x y/n #hanma shuji x you #hanma x you #hanma x reader #hanma x y/n #hanma smut #tokyo revengers smut #tokrev smut #tokyo rev smut #tokyo revengers hanma #shuji hanma x reader #shuji hanma x you #shuji hanma x y/n #shuji hanma

[babybluebex]

𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐯𝐬.𝟐 | 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐡 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: in new orleans, joe comes back after fan expo and wants only one thing from you (version 2 of blue) 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: joseph quinn x fem!reader (rpf) (don't like, don't read) 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: rpf (real person fiction), smut MINORS DNI, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie, soft and mushy sex but also a little bit of dom!joey 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.5k 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: ok so i said i'd write a second version to blue where it got spicier, and this is it!! hope y'all like it!

He was energized as he came through the door to the room, which was unusual. Typically, Joseph was exhausted after a day at the con, and he would usually fall asleep dead in bed before he was able to fully undress himself. You yourself were half-asleep, watching television, when the door squeaked as it opened, and Joe grinned at you. “S’up with you?” you mumbled quietly, and Joe shed off his brown leather jacket and hung it on a hanger in the closet. 

“Just feelin’ good,” Joe told you. He came to bed and kissed your forehead, smoothing down your hair, and he added, “Why’re you so sleepy?” 

“I walked all around the city today,” you told him. “Explored the French Quarter and everything… I’m pretty tired. I thought you’d be tired too.” 

“Not really,” Joe said. “I could sleep, but I’d much rather do something else.” 

“Oh, yeah?” you asked, already knowing what his answer would be. You could see his hard length through his tight jeans, nestled just at his thigh, and you smiled softly at him. Joey was insatiable when it came to you, always wanting to be on you (and in you), and it seemed that even his exhaustion from the second day of a con couldn’t tamp down his desire. “What would that be, silly?” 

Joe snapped the gum in his mouth as he smiled, and he leaned forward, kissing you softly. He tasted like his gum, the minty nicotine gum that he had started to favor as he tried to quit smoking, and his hands traveled down to your hips, shoving the blankets aside to get at you. “Maybe a little bit of this,” he mumbled, gently biting your bottom lip, and you slung your arms around his neck, pulling him back down to kiss you again. “Is this so bad?” 

“Not so bad,” you replied. “Joey, baby—“

He shushed you gently, settling his hands on the bed on either side of you to cage you into his body. It was warm, impossibly hot, against his chest, and you giggled as he bit your lip again and rolled his gum in his mouth. “Just let me, darling,” he told you. “Let me take care of my sleepy little babe.” 

You smiled and let your head fall back as Joe moved his kisses down your neck, sinking his teeth in gently and biting you playfully, and you groaned softly at the tingling pain. “Joey,” you moaned gently, and Joe moaned himself, rutting his hips against your leg. 

“I love when you call me that,” he whispered. 

“Well, you’re my Joey,” you told him, and his kisses became more urgent, his lips skating down to your shirt as his fingers worked to tug it up and off. “What else should I call you?” 

“You can call me anything you want,” Joe said. “Whatever you want, love, I’ll let you.” 

“Oh, yeah?” you asked. “I want you, baby.” 

“And you’re getting me,” Joe said. “No worries at all. C’mere…” His hands fell from you and went to his jeans, shuffling out of his shoes as he popped the side-wound button. His jeans yawned open, his half-hard cock bulging against his boxers, and he reached down to palm at his cock as his kisses resumed their greedy exploration. “Fuck, darling, you do this.” His hand fell from his cock and grabbed your wrist, and he brought your hand to his cock instead. You slipped your fingers past the band of his boxers and let his hot, thick length fill your palm, and you slowly stroked him, trying to see how much teasing you could get away with before he put a stop to it. 

“Don’t tease, darling,” Joe said quickly, catching onto your game, and his hand tightened around your wrist, squeezing, threatening. Or what? he begs you to ask, but you know better than to challenge him, especially when he’s as worked up as he is. 

“How long have you been hard?” You asked, and Joe rolls his eyes as he thinks about it. 

“On and off all day,” he said. “Been thinkin’ about seeing you ever since I left this morning.” 

“Well, I’m here now,” you told him, and Joe smiled, snapping his gum again. You helped him step out of his jeans and Valentino loafers, and your mouth watered as his cock bobbed free from his boxers. 

“Do you wanna suck my cock?” Joe asked, and you shook your head. 

“Well, yeah,” you said quickly. “But I’d rather you just fuck me.” 

“You can suck me off later,” Joe nodded, and he started to unbutton his shirt further to take it off, but you stopped him once the shirt was open.

“I like this shirt on you,” you told him. “Keep it on?” 

Joe laughed, nudging your legs open with his knee as he climbed up to kneel on the bed. He looked so gorgeous like this, naked for you, his delicious cock bobbing as he lazily tugged himself off, his lip caught between his teeth as he watched you take off your panties. You were already soaked for him, and he laughed deep in his chest again as you tugged him close by his hips. As much as you liked the lean figure he had had for Eddie, you adored the little bit of pudge on his hips and tummy, and you always made sure to let him know that you loved him no matter how he was. 

In no time at all, the head of his uncut cock was nudging your cunt, and Joe moaned softly as he caught the edge of your hole with his cock. “So wet,” he whispered. “All for me, love, just for me.” 

“Just for you,” you nodded quickly, your skin rippling with the intense pleasure that you knew he would give you, and he flexed his hips, slowly sinking inside you with a strangled moan. Your hands flew up to his neck and tugged him down into a messy kiss, and you smiled at his minty flavor as he continued on his gum. “You wanna spit that out?”

Joe sat up straight, his shirt falling open to expose his chest and belly, the thin hair leading down deliciously to the thatch above his cock. He smiled at you, crooked and mischievous, and he said, “Nah. I think you like it.” 

“Maybe,” you shrugged, and you hissed as he sank further in, your cunt stretching wide to fit him. “Fuck, Joey…” 

“You can take it,” Joe told you, his hands grabbing at yours and smoothing his thumbs down the back of your hand. Carefully, as if testing the waters, he drew his hips back and started to slowly fuck you, and he added, “My sweet girl, you can take whatever I give you.” 

“Gonna take it,” you nodded quickly, Joe’s thrusts gaining speed. He was hungry for it, you could tell, and soon he had found his rhythm, pushing and pulling for you and fucking you in all the best ways. You could feel every ridge of his cock as he slid in and out of your slick hole, the burn of him inside adding perfectly to your pleasure, and he tugged on your hands, pulling you closer to him. 

“Good fuckin’ girl,” Joe grunted as he fucked you, and you watched as his chest began to grow red with exertion, flushing under his thin hair. “Taking me, just like that… Such a sweet whore, such a good girl.” 

“Joey!” you squealed, your legs tightening around his waist. 

“Fuck, yeah, squeeze me, darling,” Joe groaned, and you hooked your ankles together, squeezing your legs tight around him. He moaned again, his cock throbbing inside you, and you pulled him in by the collar of his shirt to kiss him. His minty breath filled your head and made you dizzy, and his sloppy kiss turned sweet for a moment as he dropped your hands and captured your cheeks in his warm hands. 

“Mmm,” Joe hummed into your mouth, and your hands splayed across his hot chest, pushing the shirt aside so that you could feel his heartbeat against your palms. It was heavy and hard, his heart beating quickly, and you moaned softly into him, letting him drink up every bit of your pleasure. Moons and stars were exploding in your belly and threatening your release with every thrust he gave, and you knew that neither of you would last much longer if you continued on with this frantic fucking. 

And you were right. With a quiet pulse and a soft “Joey!”, you came, the rope inside you snapping as your legs shook around his waist. Your cunt squeezed him and milked him tight, begging him to cum without words, and your eyes rolled back at the feeling of Joe’s cock throbbing hard. “Fuck me, I’m cumming,” he said hurriedly, trying to warn you as best as he could as it snuck up on him, and you cried out when he finally filled you, pumping you full to the brim. 

Joe panted above you as he recovered, gathering you up in his arms and turning you on your sides so that he could better hold you. He was quick to shuck off his shirt and spit out his gum, and he smoothed his hand down your back as you nestled up underneath his chin. “This good, darling?” he asked, and you hummed softly, nodding. 

“This is perfect.” 

#joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn rpf #joe quinn #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn rpf #*my writing

[rubydracogirl]

WOW SO

I did not expect that drawing of Stanley to get notes. Thank you all so much for that, I keep rolling around in the likes and reblogs like a husky in fresh fallen snow.

Since I wrote a one-shot with Reader kissing Ford, I thought about it, and Stan needs a hug.

Why don't we give him one? ^_^

Stanley PinesXReader

Rated T for depictions of tobacco and adult conversations.

"Just A Hug"

It had been such a long day at work. You couldn’t wait to lock up and leave, though you dreaded walking in the snow. The bitter cold was waiting for you with wide arms, and as you clocked out and zipped up your coat, you regretted taking this shift.

Fuck it, I need the money….

To your surprise, when you stepped out, you noticed someone out in the parking lot. A lone car, with someone leaning against it, smoking. You squinted, recognizing the silhouette. It was that weird science guy from the woods. Stan something. He’d just come in for a pack of cigarettes, a loaf of bread and a carton of eggs an hour before the store closed. But that was over an hour ago…

What was he still doing here?

You weren’t normally nosy, but it was late, and you had some… neighborly concerns. You didn't know him well, he'd always been a bit of a hermit. He had been coming into town more often this past month, so you'd seen him a lot more. You liked him alright, he seemed harmless.

You shivered in your jacket.

Why was he sitting out here in the freezing cold?

Screw it.

“Hey there, buddy, y’doing alright?”

He seemed slightly startled by your voice as you began to walk over and he waved at you sheepishly.

“Fine, fine, just, uh, enjoyin’ the uh, night life.” His gravelly voice called back to you.

“Yeah, real wild hangout this is. You should see it in the summer, we get all sorts around here.” You chuckled. “Can I bum one off ya?”

He looked at you with surprise before reaching back into his pocket.

“Didn’t take ya for a smoker, toots.”

“On occasion. Much appreciated.” You replied, reaching into your own pocket for a lighter.

You lit up before taking a deep drag, ignoring the cold and focusing on the calming rush of nicotine. As you blew out a thin wisp of smoke into the air, you looked at him from the corner of your eye.

“So, you wanna tell me why you’re hanging out so late at night?”

He gave a hoarse chuckle.

“Didn’t think anyone would care. It's not illegal, right?”

“No. Not illegal… but weird.” You replied. The pale smoke drifted into the air, and you leaned against his car with him. 

“C’mon, buddy. You can talk to me.”

He looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“Sweetheart, I don’t even know your name. M'not gonna bare my soul to a stranger, even if you are cute.”

“I wear a name tag, y’know. You probably would’ve seen it if you weren’t so busy looking at my tits all the time.” you replied boldly.

He snorted sheepishly at that. “Sorry. I uh, thought I was being discreet about it.”

“You’re not exactly the type of person I would label 'discreet'.” You chuckled. “You’re also not the first guy to ogle…. It’s (y/n), by the way. You’re Stan, right?”

“Yeah…Stanford Pines.”

You hummed thoughtfully.

“There, we’re acquainted now, for better or worse.”

He chuckled.

“You’re awfully pushy, Miss (y/n). I don't know if I like that.”

“Hey now, I'm not pushy, just worried… no one just hangs out in an empty parking lot during awful weather, not even in this backwoods town.”

He grunted.

“I don’t really want to talk about it, no offense, toots.”

You nodded.

“That’s fair… can you at least promise that you’re not up to mischief here, Mr. Mysterious guy?”

He looked down at you, and you saw the barest hint of a smirk appear on his rugged face.

“Not the kind of mischief that you need to worry about, honey.”

You squinted, trying to read his emotions. It was impossible, though you could clearly see lines of care and some deep worry behind his tired, dark eyes. In that moment, with the cold night pressing in and his presence the only warmth around for miles, you felt your heart clench into a single desire. He didn't want to talk to you, that was fine… but you weren't going to leave him like this.

“Ok, Stan. I won’t bug you anymore… can I ask for a favor though?”

“Depends on the favor, but shoot."

“Can I hug you?”

He actually choked, coughing out smoke and turning from you as he tried to regain control.

You winced in sympathy, but as he turned back to you, his already reddened cheeks were even redder.

“You're serious? A hug?” He repeated incredulously, his voice raw from the coughing. 

You nodded, adding sternly, “Don’t get any bright ideas, wise guy. It’s only a hug.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t- that wasn’t…. Sure. Yeah. I could hug you.”

It was obvious you had caught him off guard, but as you put out your cigarette and opened your arms, you didn't expect how strong he was. He pulled you in against his body effortlessly. The heat from his body stole your breath and suddenly, you didn't feel so cold.

His bulky frame shielded you from the winter air, his arms enveloping you perfectly. Your heart skipped as you felt him sigh.

You squeezed him tightly, resting your head against his shoulder. He smelled like cigarettes, cheap cologne and some strange, musky smell, like burnt metal. It was a strangely comforting scent, and you thought you felt him turn his head towards you. 

"You're so small…" he murmured softly, his breath puffing against your hair.

"Naw, you're just big." You shot back, but didn't lean away or let go. In truth, you didn't want this moment to end...

Inevitably, he let go after a moment, awkwardly patting your back, his cheeks still rosy, though it could have been from the cold. You gave him a smile. 

"Hey, if nothing else works out for you, you can at least know that you're a good hugger, Stan Pines."

"... Thanks." He replied quietly. You suspected he wasn't just thanking you for the compliment.

It was getting close to midnight, and you decided you had been nosy long enough. You patted his shoulder, giving him a soft grin.

"I suppose I'll leave you to it. See ya around, Stanford."

He piped up, looking somewhat embarrassed.

"Wait, (y/n)… look, do you, uh, need a ride?"

You considered it.

"Hmm. You're not gonna kidnap me, right?"

"No! No... Not tonight, no." He chuckled.

You giggled.

"Not tonight huh? Too bad. But, well, sure, I could go for a ride. Thank you."

He grinned back, a spark of sincerity lighting up his dark eyes.

"Don't mention it. Let's get out of this crummy weather."

#Gravity Falls #fanfiction #my writing #stanley pines x reader #Stan Pines #Mullet Stan #he just needs a hug #we give him one #after smoking with him #i initially wrote this with my name so #apologies if I didn't catch all the Rubys #also female pronouns are used #angst and fluff #strangers to lovers vibes

[softie-rain]

Pretty Boy

pairing: Sejanus Plinth/Coriolanus Snow

warnings: smoking (don't do it guys it's bad for your lungs) - mild smut - lots of fluff

notes: this is a modern au where Coryo and Sej are both in University! I wrote it in like an hour but I really like it, posted it on ao3 and felt like tumblr should be blessed with it as well. Not romanticising smoking! read it on ao3 here

Sejanus’ hold on Coriolanus’ hand tightened as they ran on the train tracks. He squeezed his eyes trying to see better in the darkness of the night, the only light was the moon shining bright and white in the sky. 

If he turned his head he could still see the faint illumination of the street lights, though they were so far away they looked like stars in the distance. He looked down at his feet, careful not to trip and fall. He observed their shoes, Sej's converse in contrast with Coryo's ruined vans, looking so used Sejanus wondered how on earth they didn't break yet (though he was pretty sure if he kept running like that they were going to).

Coriolanus finally came to a stop when they reached the abandoned goods wagons, jumping on one that looked particularly rusted. Sometimes Sejanus thought he picked them old and rusty on purpose, to try to guess how many different diseases they could catch on them.

Once they were both on it Coriolanus took out two cigarettes, offering Sejanus one and putting the other one between his lips. After he offered the cigarette Coryo took out his lighter and lit up his own, taking a long drag, and breathing out the smokey air in the cold autumn night.

Sejanus asked him for the lighter but he shook his head, telling him to put the cigarette between his lips. Although confused Sejanus did as told and Coriolanus leaned in, using his cigarette to light up Sejanus’. The boy blushed, trying to act as if he wasn't turned on by the action. 

Coriolanus noticed and smirked, kissing his cheek. He went to  sit on some old boxes that were lying in the corner, taking another drag and motioning for Sejanus to join him. He grinned and sat between his legs, leaning against his chest. “For once you're shorter than me” Coriolanus whispered in his ear, making him giggle.

“We're sitting.”

Coriolanus hummed and blew smoke in Sejanus’ face, making him cough. “You're such a dick.” 

“I mean isn't that why you love me?” He teased, giving him a downsided kiss. Sejanus bit his bottom lip trying not to smile and scoffed, playfully rolling his eyes. 

He looked down at his cigarette, taking a drag and letting the nicotine take over his senses and making him relax immediately, melting in Coriolanus’ arms. Sejanus closed his eyes and suddenly started laughing, taking Coriolanus hand in his.

“What's so funny?” He asked, kissing his boyfriend's forehead. Sejanus smiled.

“Ma’ would kill me if she knew I was smoking on an abandoned railroad with you.” 

Coriolanus scoffed. “I’m sure you would have found a way out of it, your mother loves me.”

“Exactly. And if she discovered that you weren’t so lovable, she'd forbid me from seeing you. Especially if she knew you got his perfectly well behaved son into smoking, and probably start hating you for corrupting his sweet child.” Sejanus said gesturing to his cigarette and doing a bad impression of his mom. At least it got Coriolanus to laugh.

“I put my dick up your ass almost every day at your house, most of the time when she's right downstairs. Smoking would be the last of her worries if she knew.”

“Your dick doesn't diminish my life expectancy.”

Coriolanus shrugged, taking another drag. They both dropped the conversation and just sat there, in silence, enjoying each other's company. Coryo gently rubbed Sejanus’ hand, drawing circles on it with his thumb, sending shivers down his spine. He lived for these sweet moments he and Coriolanus shared, when it was only the two of them, alone, no one to watch or judge them.

“You know what your ma’ would also be shocked by?” 

Sejanus threw his now consumed cigarette to the floor and shook his head, looking up at Coryo. “You giving me a blowjob in an abandoned goods wagon.” 

Sejanus rolled his eyes and turned around, standing on his knees, so that he was now fully facing him. “You're a pervert. And also gross, I'm not sucking your dick here.” 

Coriolanus pouted, “Why not?”

“Because it's gross!” 

Coriolanus joined his hands as to pray him for it, pout even more evident on his face. “At least a handjob? That way you can also kiss me which, honestly, makes it even better.” He said, leaning in to give Sejanus a long, deep kiss. 

He pulled away with one last short kiss but didn't move away, leaning on his boyfriend's forehead. “Please?” He asked again, his tone low, barely above a whisper.

Sejanus sighed, shaking his head. “You're a little shit, you know that?” 

Coriolanus grinned. “That's why you love me.” He whispered, letting his cigarette fall on the floor.

Sejanus raised an eyebrow, “I thought it was because you were a dick.” 

“That too. Which would also be the reason why you should love sucking me off.”

It took Sejanus a second to get a joke. If they were at his house Sejanus would have probably thrown a pillow at him, but instead he just stared at Coriolanus clearly not amused, while his boyfriend was having the time of his life- if his wide smile was a hint of it. 

He scoffed, leaning away and sitting on the floor. “Is there at least one positive thing that I love about you then?” 

Coriolanus seemed to think about it, tapping his chin with his finger and looking up to search for the answer. “Okay: answer a, I’m a walking green flag-” He was interrupted by Sejanus snorting, trying to hold in the laugh that was erupting from his throat. He coughed trying to cover it up when he noticed the glare Coriolanus was sending him. 

“Ahem. Sorry. You were saying?” 

“Answer b,” Coriolanus continued, “you love the way I look.” He smirked proudly, looking away. 

Sejanus bit the inside of his cheek, checking Coriolanus out. “Alright, you may be onto something here.” He admitted.

Coriolanus turned around again with a wide grin on his features. “Of course I am. I’ll have you remember that you fell first, my darling boy.”

Both out of boldness and frustration Sejanus grabbed Coriolanus by the jacket and brought him down with him. In response the boy yelped in surprise, as he landed on top of his boyfriend. 

“And you fell harder.” Sejanus whispered. Feeling the other’s boner pressing against his tight, he grinned. “You're hard, Coriolanus Snow.”

Coriolanus shrugged, playing it off cool. “You tend to have that effect on me, yes.” Sej scoffed, kissing his nose.

“That's gay.” Sejanus commented.

“And that's homophobic.” 

Sejanus laughed, followed shortly after by Coriolanus. “Think you've earned that handjob, babe. For being so good looking.” He said, already starting to unzip Coriolanus’ pants.

Coriolanus sighed when he finally felt Sejanus’ hand on him, closing his eyes as he let out small whines in pleasure. Sometimes Sejanus wondered how this could be his life. He remembered when just two years ago he could only dream of simply kissing his crush, and now he was pumping his dick on an old train while his mother thought he was studying in the University's library. 

Coriolanus changed him, that was for sure. He still questioned if that change had happened for bad or for good, but most of the time he didn't care. The time he spent with Coriolanus was what he looked forward to all day, everyday. He doubted that even if his ma’ was to ever find out about what he did, that would stop from seeing Coriolanus. 

Without Coriolanus he probably wouldn't have started smoking, and maybe he would still be a virgin. Maybe he'd spend more time focusing on his studying and not hanging out in the park, their favorite place to have deep discussions about life- and more often than not to make out. 

And as he drew Coriolanus into a kiss, swallowing the loud moan he made as he came, he knew he wouldn't change his current life for anything else in the world. 

“I love you.” Coriolanus breathed out, panting as he came down his high. 

Sejanus chuckled, giving him a peck on the lips. “I love you too.” 

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #tom blyth #josh andres rivera #sejanus plinth #sejanus x coriolanus #snowjanus #snowplinth #coriolanus x sejanus #fanfic #the hunger games

[clairewritesjjkxreader]

healthy (yandere!sukuna)

warnings: it's sukuna and it's a yandere fic, c'mon...

He was crying. You felt a tad bit guilty, but for the most part, you were frustrated.

This man in front of you was a future doctor. He was tall, handsome, and he was a varsity player for your university's volleyball team. You liked him. He was sweet and considerate. He never pushed your boundaries, always got along with everyone, was nice to his mother and had no issues with his father. He was, for all intents and purposes, a good man with a bright future.

You liked him.

But after a whole year of dating, you realized that that was the problem. You could only like him.

So you couldn't bring yourself to say 'yes' when he asked you to move in with him.

"I understand..." he whispered, voice cracking. "I don't know what I did wrong but I...I understand."

You thought about reaching over to give his hand a squeeze, but maybe that was too patronizing, so you merely nodded.

"I should've ended it sooner, I'm sorry. Let me pay for today." You put down several wads of cash on the dining table, ignoring the other customers' stares and whispers. Maybe breaking up in the school cafeteria was a bad idea. Everyone in the dining hall was a batchmate, each one of them certainly aware of your and your now ex-boyfriend's identities. Everyone was in agreement that he was too good for you.

Everyone including you.

You didn't deserve him. He was a little too perfect, a little too... good for someone like you.

He gave to the poor every chance he got, he always agreed to tutor your friends and other classmates when they were having problems--even if it meant losing time spent with you. He gave a lot to everyone. He wanted to better the world, he wanted to be remembered as a good man in a storm. The type to sacrifice himself for others.

That's why you couldn't bring yourself to love him.

How could you possibly tell this loving, virtuous man that you had no interest in the betterment of the world? How could you tell him that you were only doing your best to live peacefully without getting in anyone's way?

How could you tell this kind, decent, salt of the earth future surgeon, who was blind to how your friends would bat their eyelashes at him when he tutored them, that you didn't care about dying as a "good person"?

How could you possibly ask your future doctor how his sweet, silent, respectful love wasn't the one you wanted?

On the outside, you didn't seem like someone who wanted much. You didn't ask or want for expensive gifts, you were content with fast food dates. Well, you didn't, not really. Excessive money wasn't that attractive to you.

But deep inside, you knew that you weren't so "low maintenance."

Sure shiny things weren't necessary, but you wanted something deeper, something crazier.

You wanted selfish. You wanted obsessive. You wanted a love that would sear itself into your soul and stay with you even after you died.

You didn't need a healthy, boring love.

"Bye." Your farewell came out colder than you intended, but it didn't matter. He could hate you and you wouldn't care. Actually, he should get angry. Maybe he'll finally become interesting.

You swung your backpack over your shoulder and exited the cafeteria, which exploded after only three steps out the door.

Mr. Perfect was finally free from his undeserving, unappreciative lover.

With a relieved sigh, you made your way to the roof. As you plopped your bag on the floor to stretch, the smell of nicotine flooded your senses.

"Ugh."

"Whoops," someone chuckled. "I didn't think anyone would come here."

It was a man. Not just a man, an actual man. He was broad-shouldered and the white sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows, revealing big arms covered in black ink. Tattoos seemed omnipresent on him, he even had them on his face--his gorgeous face.

"You're not here to jump, are you?" He asked jokingly, the cigarette dangling from the corner of his lips.

"Excuse me?"

Unbothered by your scowl, he stuck a thumb at the metal-netted railings that have been attached to the parapet of the roof. "Last I've been here, those guardrails weren't there. Just how many students jumped off before they installed them?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Last he's been here"? The railing had been there for at least fifty years. Maybe he was from the psych ward, or was he messing with you?

"Look, sir--"

He choked out a hearty ha! Smoke came trailed out each word as he spoke, "I guess to someone like you I look like a sir."

You crossed your arms, eyeing his chest for any sign of the yellow visitor's pass. Finding none, you reluctantly lifted your gaze away from his vest and met his eyes. "Visitors aren't allowed in this building, this is strictly for students and staff."

"Oh?"

"Well, not without a pass. And I can't believe this needs to be said but this is a non-smoking zone." Naturally including the medicine building and the hospital, the entire campus was a non-smoking zone.

He chucked again. "My mistake."

You furrowed your brows at him. He rolled his shoulders in a mocking, exaggerated show of surrender before lifting the cigarette and dropping it on the floor to be snuffed on with his polished brown leather shoe.

"Thank you," you mumbled. "Do you need help getting to the exit?"

"I think I can find it on my own, but thanks for worrying about me."

You really didn't like how hot he looked leaning down to meet your eye level. You knew he was tall, hell, he was taller than your middle blocker ex, but he was monstrously big. His personality probably didn't help. You've never met a man who could be, who could feel so large in multiple ways.

"Later." He waved, walking past you.

You didn't turn to watch him leave the roof because you were afraid of letting him see the face you were making.

Sukuna put on his suit jacket as he made his way to the dean's office.

"Oh, there you are, welcome back, sir!" The dean of surgery and medicine was a graceful and spunky old lady who, like many people, couldn't resist Sukuna's charm. It was amazing the kind of effect the man had on everyone. With just one smile, he had reduced this veteran surgeon into a simpering schoolgirl. "That took you a while, I hope you didn't get lost."

His secretary, Uraume, pulled a chair and Sukuna grabbed it from them. "I almost did but one of your students saw me and offered me her help."

"That's good to hear. I'm very proud of our--"

"I want to personally thank her."

The dean pulled back. "Pardon?"

"Please," Sukuna said, eyes glowing. "It would be very much appreciated." He showed her the nameplate he snatched from you.

The dean's pupils dilated before constricting. She blinked and then smiled. "I understand. I'll have my assistant find the information now."

"Just have it emailed to me." Sukuna stood, smirking. "This was a fruitful meeting, your department can expect a lot of support from me in the future."

Uraume bowed to the ever-grinning dean before following their boss out.

The youthful secretary observed their boss for a while before pointing out, "You seem happy."

"Nothing gets past you." Sukuna glanced at your nameplate and pressed it to his lips. "I finally found her."

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #sukuna #ryomen #sukuna ryomen #y/n #yandere #obsessive love #unhealthy love #toxic #duh #imagines #scenarios #age gap? #i dunno #i just don't care anymore #ill add a part 2 if i feel like it so no requests pls #fem reader #yandere sukuna #modern au

[get-more-bald]

what the mercs smoke:

scout: doesn't smoke. gotta have those healthy lungs. would indulge in a vape occasionally but would cough horribly and try to hide it (also horribly). he'd try to bum cigarettes off of everyone around him though.

soldier: likes those big fat cigars but most often he doesn't even smoke them, just holds them in his teeth. he thinks it looks cool and manly but doesn't really enjoy the smoke. he's an american in his prime, recruit.

pyro: who knows. I honestly think they'd like smoke in general but I'm undecided. weed? nicotine? something harder? maybe. full suit hotbox. isn't really a smoker.

demoman: rarely if ever but always from a pipe. he doesn't think much of it. I don't think he'd enjoy smoking though, so probably only when he's stressed. wouldn't really be very interested in anything stronger than a bit of weed - alcohol is his thang. his pipe is neglected and he bites it too hard.

heavy: has tried a cigarette once or twice. didn't like it. he just doesn't think about smoking, would probably decline if offered a hit. if convinced to try it again, he'd inhale, make a funny face, and try to hide a cough. he'd be chill about it though.

engineer: classic smoker. when stressed he chainsmokes, but it's not often and he doesn't make a big deal out of it. tries to usually have a pack on hand, but it's fine if he forgets. might try a cigar if he's feeling fancy.

medic: pipe man. smokes rarely, but if he does, he indulges in harder substances as well. he knows how to use them safely, too. he does care about general health and takes good care of his pipe.

spy: smokes like a pack a day. only the expensive, fancy brands, but at some point he couldn't tell the difference anymore. smokes to stay awake and to wake up and after every match. medic loves touching his lungs because they've gotten such an interesting texture. it's a bigger problem than he'd like to admit.

sniper: only on his off hours. sometimes just lies down in his van and smokes weed. has generally routinely scheduled weed evenings. isn't a huge fan of smoke but it's the easiest way for him. used to smoke as a teen.

#funny version: #scout CHICKEN FLAVORED BACON LOW NICOTINE VAPE. soldier CRACK. pyro 2C-B #actually i dont think 2c-b counts as smoking. hm #demo OPIUM. heavy HEROINE. engineer METH. #medic CRACK. spy. sniper WEED #this stays in drafts forever btw so if it comes out you know im probably dead and gone #alright im publishing this. if it gets hate it gets deleted i think #team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 mercs #i forgor to tag this at first and rn this is all im doing

[lavender-romancer]

Tired of Me

Part Four

Tommy Shelby x reader

CW: angst, smut

Neither of you are strong enough to talk about your problems, you coexist in a state of sleepless nights and last chances but can any of that change when you start visiting a therapist?

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

Previous Part

"I don't exactly know how to express myself." You fidgeted in the chair across from Dr Molina.

"You seem very able to express yourself to me in this space." She observed

"I suppose, I mean you're completely separate from my social life and my family so you don't have… preconceptions. I mostly have issues expressing myself with my husband, or at least I have recently." You thought about your husband's rough face, how he never smiled and never seemed excited.

"Have you ever brought any of this up to him?" She asked and you bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from tearing up.

"He's a very busy individual, my problems never really feel adequate to what he goes through in his work." You dug your fingernails into your palm, the subtle thought that hurting yourself would be moral payback for going behind Tommy's back.

"Your problems are personal to you however, you shouldn't be burdened with this anxiety of whether he will care about the issues you go through. If you ever feel confident enough I would challenge yourself to at least bring up the topic of his behaviour." She looked up at you and your face painted a clear picture of deep rooted anxiety.

Later that day you were in the bath upstairs in the ensuite to your room, relaxing with lavender infused water and lavender soap. The scent made you calm down and let your brain run a blank. You breathed steadily and tried to relax but it would only last a few moments before the doubt settled in. Your skin got sweaty and tensed up because you knew that you had no control over this situation, the future of your marriage or your mental state- at least it felt like that. Your husband had so much control in society, in finance and in stupid things like land and paperwork. How could you realistically separate your relationship and your gender when society was structured to keep you with your husband.

"Y/n?" You heard someone call and you sat up straight in the bath, your eyes wandering to the lack of a locked door. You debated leaping out the bath to lock the bathroom door but in your head you had just accepted your fate.

"Are you here?" The bedroom door opened and you heard Ada's voice, you relaxed and called her name "Now what's got you stewing in here?" She sat on the stool near the open window.

"Oh you know, psychologists, Tommy, life and how I hate it all." You smiled at Ada as she rolled her eyes and took out a cigarette. You dried your hands and put your fingers out for a cig, Ada supplied you with one and lit it.

"Since when are you seeing a psychologist?" Ada asked taking a drag of her cigarette.

"Since I found out what one was, she's actually pretty helpful to talk too, someone who's separate from the situation and don't worry I use fake names, fake everything and never mention names just use husband or…. no I guess I just talk about my husband." You snorted a short laugh and Ada smirked as she looked out the window.

"What's worrying you about it all with Tom then?" Ada sounded like she was trying to therapise you.

"I have absolutely no control, not over myself and not over my life. I couldn't escape Tommy even if I wanted too because he holds the cards and it's completely fucking suffocating." You leant back in the bath, your breasts slightly above the water level and you breathed in the nicotine.

"Now what are you talking about, you're your own person! You're strong and have your own opinions on different matters, I doubt I could control you let alone Tommy." Ada brushed some ash off her skirts.

"He just… he has this hold over me that I can't explain but I just can't get away. God when he's here I feel so alive and so at peace and so lustful but fuck, when he's gone I feel empty and nothing. My whole life has been built around Tommy since we got together and I've almost lost myself." You tapped your ash off onto the pristine floor tiles.

"Darling, I love you okay and whilst I don't know what you feel because I wasn't with Freddie long enough to develop this - I can understand what you mean. You need to pursue some interests I think, get back into painting or something that will give you a purpose." Ada smiled encouragingly and you felt a warmness spread across your stomach as you felt the support from your wonderful sister in law.

"I've been meaning to, I just get inside my own thoughts and my worries that I don't do anything anymore really." You paused "I've wanted to leave Tommy more times in the past two years than I have in our whole relationship but I don't even have that option."

"You have any option you want even if it's not legal you can leave here, leave the bad feelings behind. Thomas will just have to deal with it." Ada said disapproving of her brother's actions.

"I know you're right, I just have such a connection to parts of this house. Places I feel safe in and I don't know if I'm brave enough to make the plunge and separate from him. I've modelled my life around Tommy." You sighed and ram your free hand through your hair taking a drag with your other.

"Well whenever or if you want to leave I only need a word. Pol will be the same support wise. We understand how testing Thomas can be over an extended period of time and you always seem to get the shittiest end of the stick when you don't fucking deserve it. He doesn't appreciate what you do for him and the stability you provide." Ada breathed smoke out the window again and seemed to be studying the garden outside, collecting her thoughts.

"Thank you, Ada. You don't understand how validating it is to hear someone actually understand what I'm talking about because I don't know if I can take much more of it." Your eyes were pricking as they threatened to let out tears but you weren't going to fucking let it happen. You'd cried too much over that damn man.

Ada left about an hour later after you'd got changed and she left you in your studio working on a piece. It was very akin to Van Gogh's Weeping Woman, not a self portrait but she was wearing your dress, had your hair from behind and was sitting on your bathroom floor. You couldn't quite admit to yourself how close this was to how you looked the night of the breakdown after Tommy stood you up but, it was there as plain as you could see it. You didn't always work with charcoal but you found sadness so much easier to display in black and white than colour, how could colours even cool tones be a representation of sadness when you only connected to sadness being a feeling of darkness? The piece didn't make you feel anything but you suspected it was because you'd blocked out that night the best you could, this was merely an observation of your suffering from the point of view of someone else. How guttural your cries had been, how heartbroken you'd been to finally accept your marriage was broken without repair. How unstable you really were.

You looked at this deeply personal piece completely emotionless. How did it come to this? How did you get here? You started asking yourself all these questions and still, nothing. Was everything just so much that you were an emotionless wreck? Were you too damaged by it all that you couldn't experience the pain? Dr Molina had mentioned how your brain can try to protect itself and was this it? God, this was unbearable.

Suddenly the front door slammed shut extremely loudly and you jumped, your charcoal making a harsh line down the diagonal of your piece. You swore to yourself quietly and began to use a bit of rubber to blend out the tone and erase the harsh line itself. You could hear heavy footsteps and you knew who it was, when your studio door opened you didn't even turn around.

You felt hands snake around your waist and kisses peppered on your neck, the scent of your husband filling your senses, all the drink and the cigarettes hitting you like a bus. You didn't know how to react but melt into his touch, it was so fucking familiar you let it carry on without another thought.

"Lean over that fucking desk." Tommy whispered in your ear, calmer than you expected and you obeyed, leaning over your desk that was by the grand windows.

Tommy followed you over, his hand moving over your ass and it made you shudder. He quickly pulled up your skirts and pulled down your underwear, running his hands up and down the inside of your thighs. You were growing weak at the knees at the touch of your husband that you had been craving for so long. When he started to finger you, you couldn't get any words out, only noises that you made into your arm that you leant your face on. Already so wet from his movements because he knew exactly what to do, he knew your body, he knew what you liked and he knew how to please you.

"Tell me how much you love it." Tommy demanded from behind you, pulling you up by your neck, gently choking you with his free hand and you moaned.

"I adore it." You managed to whisper and you heard him laugh quietly before curling his fingers inside you and inserting another finger which made you close your eyes. It felt heavenly and you couldn't deny how all the bad feelings went away for those minutes.

Tommy fucked the life out of you that afternoon, eating you out in-between rounds until your legs were shaking and you fell to the ground on your knees facing the desk. He pulled his boxers and his trousers back up before gently helping you back up and pulling up your underwear and pulling down your skirt. He helped you sit on your desk and leant your head against his chest as he stroked your head, you began to cry softly and he held you closer.

Tommy knew what he had done to you, he knew this was wrong and he was taking advantage of how well he knew your body. But he fucking missed you and selfishly did what he wanted, even though it was pleasing you, pleasing you pleased him even more. So was it really that selfless or was he just doing it for himself? He felt ridiculously guilty for the first time in his life aside from the night he found you with glass in your hand. But he just held you, held you close and didn't let you go.

"Why are you back?" You finally croaked out after a long time of you just holding one another. Looking up at your husband you saw genuine emotion in his face and didn't quite know how to react.

"I...I wanted to see you. It's been a while, hasn't it." He sounded emotionless even though his face looked so shameful.

"It's been a ridiculous amount of time, Tom." You looked down and let go of him, a distance settled between you and neither of you breached the gap for different reasons. You knew if you held him again you would need let go, you would never get better. Tom knew he couldn't break the space because you deserved more and you would never get it if he stayed too close to you.

"Right, well uhm I- I have to go to my study and uh, work." He took a step back and you looked into his sky blue eyes with your tear filled ones.

"If you leave now, I don't think I can do this." You said at almost a whisper because if you talked any louder you feared you would breakdown. You dug your fingernails deep into your palm again and wanted to keep doing it till you drew blood.

'he hates you'

'he'll never stay you stupid bitch'

The nagging voice was back after so many days of silence. So many weeks of blissful silence from your greatest enemy that existed within your own brain and sabotaged any hope you had. Your feet didn't touch the ground from where you were sitting on the desk and you felt such large lack of mental grounding it was unbearable. The room didn't look real, it was shapes and colours, Tommy hadn't said anything and the gap grew into a vast crevasse that couldn't be connected by any bridge of communication or adoration. You began to anxiously think about how pointless all this was when the heavy silence was broken.

"Okay. I won't go, but we will go to my study. It's too bloody artsy in here for me to focus." You looked up at him and your husband smiled slightly. He held out both of his hands, sensing that you were finding it hard to focus on the environment around you.

He helped you stand with your two feet on the ground as you took a few deep breaths and closed your eyes. Counting your breaths internally to try and calm your brain from reacting the way it was, your mind always dissociated from things when he was Infront of you and you thought he hated you. You adored your husband is such a forgiving way that his judgement mattered so much too you, too much.

When you opened your eyes again Tommy slowly let go of your hands and was heading toward the door when he saw the piece you were working on, picking up the paper he studied it harder than he had any of your other work.

"Is...is this from that night?" From a distance his eyes looked teary but as you got closer you were sure it was just the reflection through the large windows that made his sky blue eyes look so emotive.

"Yes," you studied his gaze as it looked solemnly at your work "It's just a quick one, I didn't- I mean I haven't finished it and it's just a-"

"No, I like it. It feels very personal." Tommy held the paper with such care as if he was holding your mental state in his hands and any sudden movement would disrupt it.

"You never usually seem too look at my work." You commented and the sides of his mouth turned up slightly.

"I do, just not when you're here, I always come in here alone and look through it all. I never want to disrupt your space when you're working." Tommy gently placed the paper back on the canvas you used as a backing to lean on.

"You've never told me that," you looked at him again and he couldn't meet your gaze, you could sense that he really didn't know what to say so you took charge instead "Come on, let's head over." You walked to the door and he followed.

next part

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

Taglist:

@kathrinemelissa @wolfieellsworld @archivallyfound09 @hopefulinlove @globetrotter28 @buttercup32sstuff @teamfreeavocados @just-a-blackhole @sabbbyn @sillyfreakfanparty @lovelyreader22 @leaked-adrenaline @ghxst-heart @just-a-blackhole

Peaky Blinders Taglist:

@queenofkings1212 @severewobblerlightdragon @cl5369 @fairypitou @stressedandbandobessed7771 @shadow-of-wonder @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns @curled-hair-red-lips @lucystivinsky1315

#tommy shelby #peaky blinders #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders angst #love #tommy shelby angst #peaky blinder headcanon #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby imagines

[stirringwinds]

hey, love your art and all your headcanons, I was wondering if you think all the nations smoke a little bit or if most have stopped the habit except from Yao... Like do you think Kirkland, Kiku and Alfred smokes? Idk why I care, but I'm just curious ^^ There are people in my country for example, but not many statistically

hey! glad you like my art. and heh, that's an interesting question. as i see it, most of them today don't smoke as much as they do in the past.

sir lord arthur bloody kirkland: was an addicted serial chainsmoker until after WWII where he got a kick in the arse from the newfound NHS to get healthier in all ways, including cutting back his liquor. it wasn't overnight for sure (a lot of the drop is from the 70s onwards), but i think by the present day, he doesn't smoke as much (which mirrors how much smoking has declined in england). probably still enjoys an expensive cigar now and then, but he is trying to go clean, with nicotine gum and all. universal healthcare is very convincing.

alfred: similar story, i reckon! so many people used to light up— i see him as smoking a fair bit, but being nowhere as much of a chainsmoker as his father—a lot more of a social smoker. like you'd always find him cigarette in hand in the 1940s when chatting with someone. he's also cut back nowadays; i see him as the sort of person who really gets into all kinds of health kicks. now you're more likely to find him guzzling some kind of fancy new bottled water rather than holding a cigarette, lol, because hydration is IN!

kiku: not as big a smoker as 50 years ago too (it was a whopping eighty percent for men at one point) but he does light up a bit more often (the govt owning a huge share of japan tobacco is kind of a conflict of interest in how smoking culture has evolved; cigarettes aren't as pricey as in other countries). japan is one country with a fairly big gender divide re: smoking too with a lot more men doing so then women. i think that like alfred, he's more of a social smoker nowadays though, and he can be fairly disciplined about limiting it personally.

yao: ah. my great grandpa. 100% a lost cause right now. he goes through so many packs of zhonghuas. it's a habit he should kick he knows, but he isn't too fussed right now. it's still far more ingrained in socialising; offering people cigarettes at a social gathering, or as gifts to show appreciation, in a way it's really not so in say, england nowadays. so that's why i see the old man still being a heavy smoker.

#hetalia #hws england #hws china #hws america #hws japan #hetalia headcanons

[day0walker]

I hope you're having a good (I don't want to guess if it's day or night time…) Mr. Day0walker, I am here today to confess myself, something that's been rumbling in my head like a disease without cure, annoying me as the constant noises of a 'construction in progress' near your house for days wishing for it to stop.

(A little pause to create drama)

I currently have a huge crush on Dr. Nick, yes… your own Original Character, and I can't stress enough how down bad I am for him… I need more of your handsome creation, even if it's just a little (or various) random facts about him that'll save me from this hellish of a world I am living at this moment. LIKE– could we (I don't like to assume I'm the only one, so…) get a short description of Nick? It can contain anything you would like to the public to know, I'm not picky after all. Thanks in advance, your writing quickly became the daily water I have in the morning, I can't imagine my life without it.

Sincerely yours, Anon of the bunch. (Kiss mark with red lipstick) 💋

PS: I'm too scared to ask this even though I'm going Anonymous but, consider writing a little hot scene for Nick (Dr. Nick f!Reader) You don't need to put too much thought to it, but I'm dead serious when I say I would beg you right here on my knees if that makes you change your mind. Agh I don't want to make this longer for you ;; xo

oh my god anon I know you sent this last night but I simply had to wait to be on my laptop for this one HAHAH

You're an absolute doll I love you for this. I can't believe anyone would like a character I CREATED this much!!! It's one thing to have people enjoy your fanfiction, but another to enjoy a original character. That's just a really special feeling.

I'll put this under a read more in case it gets....lengthy

Okay as far as a description for Nick, I genuinely think he looks pretty spot on for Mads Mikkelsen.

He's 6'2'' so he's quite tall. But he rounds his shoulders a lot and always looks a little tired. So it's not necessarily so much an intimidating height; like sure he's big, but he also looks so worn down. Kinda makes you wanna hug him--but his face is also constantly flat and nearly expressionless so that probably radiates "don't hug me".

Also Nick was tortured (a lot) so his torso has burn marks, as well as cuts along his side, thigh and upper rib cage area. He's missing the last two fingernails on his left hand (because they were removed, nasty business). But he takes care of himself, so he's also got a fair bit of muscle tone. He's not Built, but he's very strong, so he has nice biceps and muscular thighs. He has no piercings or tattoos (and does not like them).

Not to make him sound even MORE alluring, but he definitely has a great smell to him. He's a very clean guy and probably uses an expensive cologne. He smokes, so there's the underlying nicotine scent to him, but if you're into it, then it's probably even more alluring.

Also some fun Nick facts

He is 55 !!! He's old!!! Don't be too thirsty, his knees and lower back hurt all the time.

He's French but he can, if needed, completely erase his accent and fake American very well. He's a chameleon like that. But when he's comfortable, his accent is thicker, and he'll pepper in French here and there. Also BIG on French pet names.

Incredibly materialistic and has a BIG KINK for buying women Things. Lingerie sets, heels, clothes (nsfw things too). He's so into women in heels it's like calm down!! I'm batting him with a broom!!

Does not like movies. Literally cannot sit through them. Finds acting cringe. Cannot help but pick out inaccuracies every time he sees them. Groans like an old, tired man whenever someone makes him watch one. Will fall asleep.

This man has killed people and will definitely kill people again. Murderous little bastard.

Okay I could keep going but this is so long already my God.

Anyway anon thank you sm for your interest in him!!! I can't lie, I probably wont write Nick x Reader because well....that would feel remarkably like sleeping with my own character LMAO

That being said, for fun I do write onshots featuring him for my friend DJ and their character Adler (@darkworkcourier my life revolves around Adler like she's the fuckING SUN and I'm a little planet orbiting it) and I might post works of them together on my main blog instead of my private if people really like Nick that much LOL

Kisses u kisses u kisses u

#ask #anon #i love u!!!! #doctor nick #im stunned!!! y'all like this shitty old man!?

[nulltune]

Plots please for either samatoki or my doppo whoever u have any ideas for 😎

plots please,  open !    @mrhcre  ♡

first of all i think the difference in their demeanors is so facking funny VSNFJWKDN samatoki who is always >:( and hakuno who is always :| ? i also love the difference in their speech patterns too because hakuno's almost way too formal and polite whereas samatoki is.... -insert clip of him saying yo yo my fellow chicks and d*cks from yokohama here- yknow ?! also i see that he's quick to start fights and hakuno is against unnecessary violence so methinks she would 🙏 try to stop him!! it's not just all hakuno scolding tho okok.... if he's hurt or bleeding she'd offer him an ice pack or handkerchief and maybe just sit in silence with him for a while

also 😨 HIM BEING PART OF THE YAKUZA IS INTERESTING !!!!! it doesn't show on her face but hakuno's not fearless okok and she'd be a widdle intimidated just by that title! she's not going to judge him solely based on that though and if she ever finds out his reason for joining (aka for his sister) then that'd boost her opinion of him significantly!! hakuno has no family you see (or friends or any meaningful bond yknow </3) so him rlly cherishing his sister is 🥺 smth she'd rlly..... (narratorlynn vc hakuno does not have the words for it but she desires that kind of connection so yeaaa ^_T)

i see him smoking a lot so 👁👁 hi sir, what would you do if miss ma'am hakuno asked you for one? she normally has no interest in smoking but i just think that maaaybe when she's at a particularly low point she'd try- if only because "when taken in small amounts, nicotine causes pleasant feelings and distracts the user from unpleasant feelings" </3 but also i don't think she'd like it at all VDJJWKDGSJD if he does give her one she'd just have an absolute failgirl moment and start coughing like mad after one (1) inhale 🗿 this could segway to hakuno opening up to him abt some deeper stuff tho!! mayhaaaps ?? 👀✨️

and um... either?? or??? NAHH SMOLIE I AM GRABBING BOTH AND GENTLY HOLDING THEM....🥺 i am also grabbing ur shoulders rn :obewon: because ily and u can literally just tell me a muse u wanna write, and i would absolutely be down to throw a moon lady at em 🫶🫶💖💞🤧 so yes ur absolutely getting some for dearest doppie as well <3 THEY'RE SILLY (AFFECTIONATE)

IMAGINE HAKUNO ACTUALLY SEEING HIM RAP THOOUGHH !!! (hakuno vc 📢📢 let's gooo mc name DOPPO) and she'd like to give him her regards afterstage(??) but oh man i just think it'd be in the most 😭?? Embarrassing way ever. (hakuno vc it was cool how you... shouted at that one part.) 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ she really would be so supportive tho!! 🥺 it's a good outlet for his feelings and she'd be glad if it helps him with his stress! but also don't let her meet his other bandmates bc i feel like she would be kind Embawwassing (hakuno vc thank you for taking care of kannonzaka 🙇‍♀️) and especially don't let her meet the doctor because she'd ask him if doppo's talked to him abt his..... stomach issues

but speaking of that! i'm so sorry doppie but hakuno's gonna keep an eye out for your daily meals !! it's a good thing tho i prommy!!! you know that one meme about the preparing breakfast? left is the one hakuno prepared for doppo and right is the one for herself 😌✨️ that, but imagine it in bento form and i feel like it'd be so facking jarring to get lunch from ur super stoic coworker and you just open it up to see the cutest character bento looking thing GEJFHWKD but hakuno's not the best at cooking so like- imagine it being like those bootleg figurines of official merchandise 🧍‍♂️ and yet she has cuts on her hands from preparing it 🧍‍♂️ she tried her best tho!!! 🥺

on a more serious note though! i think hakuno would understand that he's just feeling anxious and she would understand and try to be there for him in any way that helps 🙏 (thinking abt what we talked a bit at discord) she can understand the feeling of not wanting to be a nuisance and the reason she always tries to be so calm and composed (outside of her sucking so bad at expressing herself her expression is just 😐) is also for that reason! so they absolutely have some things in common! <- the reason why hakuno would be so understanding, but also imagine her opening up to him abt her feeling like that too ?!

#mrhcre #&&. out of #q. #AAAAA THANK UU FOR SENDING SMOLIE !!! ❤️❤️ #u say jump and i simply say how high okok (<- not da first time i have said this 🤭) #SO YE IM SHAKING U AND UR BLORBOS (AFFECTIONATELY....) #u can bet i Always have thoughts okok (<- is insane) so LET'S FACKING GOOOO 💞💖💓💕✨️✨️✨️ #long post /

[lunarsilkscreen]

My Experience in Transition Care

My entire experience was overshadowed by President Trump suggesting that all trans people be removed from military service. And while "don't ask, don't tell" was lifted. Well, being trans was still taboo.

And yes, they keep a paper trail of queer people, because they're assumed to be more likely to turncoat. I'm sure that the suspicion that "Gay means you're less likely to be patriotic" and that queer bashing had nothing to do with it at all.

I had several other issues, anxiety, depression, PTSD for a presidential decision to bomb a certain place in a certain area.

And the military care for mental health assumes you're trying to get out of duty, or you're trying to get free drugs. It's crap. And for the longest time I didn't know what to do, because the mental health care wasn't there.

When I finally came out, it was because it was the only thing I knew for a fact could improve my mental health. My doctor gave me options of medication for anxiety but didn't do anything other than offer that medication, behavioral health focused on improving my day-to-day habits but didn't get at the underlying issues, I felt I couldn't talk about the confidential information of a plane I fixed potentially hurting a lot of non-combatants. And I already had an inability to talk around people I wasn't comfortable with.

For a bit I developed a nicotine habit, self-medication for anxiety. But you know, diminished lung capacity and smoker's cough are not good looks in the military. So I dropped it.

I quite literally was left to figure everything about my mental health on my own. Except, as it turns out, being transgender. Now, so we're clear, Surgery like that isn't really authorized. And having a "desire for surgery" gets put on your chart. And then I received disapproving emails from people who should not have sent those emails that I had that desire. There IS a cosmetic surgery pot that the entire service has access to, but trans people are at the bottom of that list. And Public Relations is at the top. So if I was adamant about it, it's not likely I would get it unless I was VERY adamant.

I don't have the energy for that kind of fight. Otherwise I'd already have gotten laser eye surgery. Which has its own pot.

Remember, I wasn't sure about having children, and I'm not going to risk a decision like that unless I'm sure. (But you get treated the same way if it's a desire of genital surgery or facial feminization surgery) I would recommend to military trans people to deny any and all desire for surgery because they will interrupt your care because of it. (But that's also part of the diagnosis so it's tricky.)

I knew my mental health was deteriorating. I knew the reasons why. And for some reason, the anxiety meds were working. Even though the doctor was like "pick one and we'll see what happens."

I tend to avoid recreational drugs outside of an occasional 3 drink limit in public, or a nightcap. Mostly because I'm prone to throwing up after a single drink. And weed is alright, it's good in a pinch for my anxiety, but the inebriation is still inebriation. I don't like it and the anxiety meds do a better job without inebriation. (I only took weed after I was clear free from military duties. I had no obligation for inactive reserve since I already served 10. To be clear, it's legal in Michigan. )

BTW, Wellbutrin, the drug for depression, is a shitty drug that makes living worse. So against my doctor's wishes I stopped taking it. (Your mileage may vary.)

In the eyes of the non-care-providers that sent the inappropriate email. I had a free ticket for all the cosmetic surgery in the world! They didn't care I wouldn't use it. They cared that they believed I had one. And that threw a wrench harder at the whole "trans people don't exist and the President and your boss would like to fire you for existing."

So. F* it. I've been complaining about my mental health for half a decade, nobody wants me here, I keep getting high marks with no promotion. This was obviously the reason why.

That's systemic transphobia BTW, in case you're wondering. They hated me for being queer, for seeking help I never seemed to get, continually being told I need to do "just a little bit better" while keeping an entire squadron afloat. And the nail in the coffin was admitting I'm trans and admitting I was at my utter limit. And just. Accepting defeat for things that your average person would never have to deal with.

The team behind the trans medical care is full of queer and queer-adjacent people that know what they're doing. And don't take anything lightly. My session took 5 minutes because I knew everything about myself and why. And had no reason to quit the military except for all that other stuff.

The other people there were not so lucky. One session took hours. Another was because she focused on a diagnosis she got from Canadian doctors that weren't approved by air force doctors. (She was stationed in Canada, that's why. But her records didn't transfer because F* Canada, I guess.)

I get the feeling the others in my group were also being held back because of the "they still have use to the military and the military wants their investment back." Which, while legitimate, kind of a d* move. Since you have to adhere to gendered standards.

A bit easier for trans men. But women aren't allowed to shave their head, and for men it's encouraged. (as well as nail standards and pretty sexist uniform standards.)

But whatever you do out of uniform is OK!

I just wanna grow my hair out and paint my nails. While on the subject of shitty military uniform regulations: Men would like the option to not shave their beards without having to praise Allah for permission. (Religious exception joke.)

See, my transition was easy because I'm older, served my time, knew what I was, and had my anxiety controlled. (Although, me being on my way out probably helped too.)

Theres wasn't.

Remember, I'm in a position where I'm detransitioned against my will. I can't access the health care that I'm owed for disability. And literally everybody thinks less of me both, because I served my country, and because I'm trans. (they think my VA card is fake.)

My position isn't fair.

I don't know what it's like on the civilian side. I know that many people complain they still can't afford healthcare even after the affordable care act was passed. So I don't know how they can be in a position where they afforded transition care, got a diagnosis that didn't immediately shut them out, and not only could afford the care, got the works done and still regretted it. (I have a friend who's been trying to get her tubes tied for nearly three decades and they keep denying her because "what if she changes her mind?")

If I were to bet, it would be on the greed of the providers that that specific individual saw. I would blame the health care system that cares more about making profit than their patients. Because that's how everybody else is hurt by the civilian health care system. Not just trans kids. Everybody.

So blaming trans people doesn't change the fact that the healthcare system itself runs on greed and profits instead of the Hippocratic oath.

Hell. Even our fentanyl problem can be traced back to that one issue with medical coverage in the U.S.

So. No. I don't think any legislation has been put forth with trans youths best interest in mind. And the reason for that is probably because lobbyists are trying to protect profit margins for an industry that's hurting every single U.S. citizen.

[forgivenpunishment]

i'm not worth dying for.

⩥ @misplacedreporter || let people care about you!! [OPEN]

"i'm not worth dying for."

Nick drops Meryl's hand suddenly—his eyes try desperately to meet hers, but fail as she averts looking at his face. As much as he wants to grab her by the cheeks and force her to look him in the eye, he doesn't. She's unwell.

"Hey. Don't wanna hear you talking like that. You know I won't listen."

He reaches for a cigarette, but stops. She requires his full attention right now, not a nonchalant asshole with a nicotine addiction.

"Someone already did die for you, and he won't be the last. I don't want to hear you say that his sacrifice wasn't worth shit, especially seeing how you've affected so many people already. Look at this ragtag group and tell me with a straight face that we'd be okay without your help."

Their time with the Eye of Michael took pieces of them that they'd struggle to replace—perhaps never replace at all. Even when Nick thought they'd already taken everything they possibly could from him, they managed to squeeze a bit more out. He knows how Meryl feels, and he hates that he does.

"So that's gotta be worth somethin'," he wraps an arm around her and holds her close, the red jacket he wears embraces both of them, "If nothin' else, you need to live. For all of us. Or for those of us who are still around. For your world's Vash and Wolfwood. You don't really gotta choice in the matter anyway, not that I plan on dyin' for you anytime soon."

Stroking her head, he chuckles, "Pragmatically speakin', you're the only one who knows how to work the cube too. Y'have to live. So deal with it, Princess."

#[doomed by the narrative; world 7] #[prying eyes; asks] #[this could be the day i die for you; misplacedreporter]

[tex-treasures]

May I ask for all of the sibling f/o questions for your egghead bröther— GDBSBDNSNDNSN /LH

In response to this Familial F/O Ask Game

Howdy Lace! That's very kind of of you, thank you!! Heads-up, my bröther goes by he/she/it/they pronouns :>

- how do you and your sibling like to playfully annoy each other?

Sherlock enjoys breaking into my flat to rearrange my tea things to the top shelf where I can't reach and then hide my stepstool and leave clues where to find it when she's feeling particularly bored and mischievous, especially if it hasn't had a case recently 😂

In return, I enjoy stealing all their lighters and cigarettes as well as their nicotine patches whenever I come across either to ALSO make it into a scavenger hunt although Molly and John like to help contribute to coming up with cryptic riddles since sherly is a bit too smart for me to hide anything from him for too long!

- how does your sibling show they care for you?

Just by letting me be around her in her space is one way Sherlock shows it cares for me; he's also very kind about giving me physical affection like hugs or sitting close when we're watching something on the sofa, especially on days when I'm okay with touch need the emotional reassurance. My favorite way sherly shows it cares for me is by patting my head/ruffling my hair; when they do it, it doesn't feel condescending but actually it makes me feel really special ;--;

- what are some ways you and your sibling like to spend time together?

We really enjoy exploring London together on foot- that's our favorite bonding activity :D!! It's really lovely just to walk together and see the city; Sherlock knows the city like the back of their hand and enjoys staying updated on all the shops and whatnot so when she feels like going for a walk he'll usually come round my place and invite me :')

Other activities include visiting the museums and art galleries to not only enjoy the exhibits but also to people watch and make up stories about the strangers we see!! haha :>

- how similar/different are you to/from your sibling?

Ways in which we're similar:

we both have special interests and are super involved in discovering everything there is to know about the things we find interesting!

We both have very little tolerance for people who try to tell us who we are without knowing us.

We both love animals :>

We both have quality time as one of our biggest love languages and physical affection as one of our lesser love languages.

Ways in which we're different

To put it delicately, Sherlock isn't very good at handling other people's emotions whereas I feel I am pretty alright with it :'>

Sherlock prefers to text and I prefer to call!

I am a wallflower kind of person while Sherlock can command the room just by entering it if she wanted

I am really bad at lying while Sherlock is an extremely well versed untruther 😂

- describe an instance where your sibling stood up for you and vice versa.

A time Sherlock stood up for me is when....

We were at a club, working a case together and undercover to avoid suspicion while we tailed two suspects. While at this club, I received unwanted attention from a guy and while I was flattered, I tried to tell him I wasn't interested.

He didn't listen and even insisted on trying to touch me in some way but thankfully, Sherlock, who had left to get some water for us both, returned just in time and after taking one look at my face, he, in an extremely funny if not vulgar way- too vulgar to write here- told him to leave.

Now when we go out to places like clubs and pubs together, we don't separate for too long if we can help it and I know even if we are separated that they're doing their best to keep an eye on me so I can flag him down for help if I ever need it ;--;

A time I stood up for Sherlock is when....

It was at a crime scene, the very first of many we've now worked together. Before I moved in to 221C, Sherlock had two members of Scotland Yard who would go out of their way to belittle, mock, and just antagonize her simply by being in sight. They were, and still are, my co-workers, but this was before I really got to know either of them, let alone Sherlock. Thankfully, things are better with them but as you'll see soon, it wasn't always.

I had invited them to the scene to help me work it but one of these two bullies, I'll call her "D", hadn't known I'd done that and so when Sherlock arrived D hurled out some really nasty comments, calling Sherlock a freak and a vulture, among other things. Before Sherlock could say anything, I stepped in, explained to D thar I had invited him, and then proceeded to demand an apology.

D obviously didn't want to but if D is one thing, she is a professional. She apologized. I then made it a point to apologize to Sherlock myself for having to endure such behavior and quickly ushered them inside to survey the crime scene with me.

Sherlock later told me, or at least tried to tell me, that what I had done for it wasn't necessary, but I could tell she appreciated it all the same and from that very first time I've quietly made it my personal mission to ensure nobody calls my big bröther anything like that while I'm around!!

Thank you again so much Lace for giving me the oportunidad to talk about my big bröther ;--;!!!!! I appreciate you!!! Please remember my ask box is always open to come gush about your beloveds✨️💚!!!!

#tex answers #thank you again so much 😭!!!! #i love my egghead bröther | sherlock

[toyama-division]

ECO BooN Drama Track 2 - Word Games

Part 1

【 Toi Pharmaceuticals Company Building 】

In a laboratory, Kensaku Morimoto is seen cleaning up his work area and removing his protective gear. He hums cheerfully to himself, while across the room a few of his other associates continue their work.

Scientist 1: Ah, Mori-kun! Are you sneaking off again?

Kensaku: Mm? Heh, did you guys catch me? No, I have some business with my new team so I gotta leave early.

Scientist 1: Team?

Kensaku: Did I not tell you guys yet? I got into the D.R.B. for the Toyama division!

Scientist 2: The D.R.B.? Ya mean the government thing with those newfangled weapons of theirs?

Scientist 1: I believe they’re microphones… But weapons? Hey, can a bunch of wacky mics really be a weapon?

Scientist 2: Of course! They affect the user’s targets psychologically! Ya know how many poor folks get our painkillers to remedy the pains from that sort of thing?

Scientist 1: Wow, seriously? Mori-kun, you’re getting mixed up in that sort of thing?

Kensaku: Yup! Although [Scientist 2], you sound like a paranoid old person.

Scientist 2: Why shouldn’t we be paranoid? For some madman to create that sort of technology is something we have to be worried about. What’s the chance that someone will try and enhance those effects and do something worse!

Scientist 1: Hey now, calm down…

Kensaku: No, they’re right. We should be worried. Honestly, if something comes of this, you guys can use me as a guinea pig after all is done.

Scientist 2: Suit yourself. As long as you’re gonna represent us… Hey, if you win you should donate the money back to the company!

Scientist 1: Why the hell would he do that?! Mori-kun, just escape while you can.

Kensaku: Haha, we’ll think about it!

Scientist 1: Come on! We could use some extra research funds! Hey, don't try and cover my mouth!

Closing the door, footsteps echo down the dull white halls as Kensaku makes his way to the elevator. With a press of the button and a moment of waiting, the silver doors open up, and the scientist steps in and make his descent back to the ground floor.

Kensaku (mumbling): …Do something worse huh?

As the words settled in, something stirred within the man.

Kensaku: Ngh…!

Flinching in pain, an unfamiliar scene filled Kensaku’s head. An empty street filled with rain, followed by a heavily breathing Kensaku running somewhere before a group of voices chirp behind him.

████████████: Uh oh. Did you run out of places to run?

Kensaku: No! You get away…!

████████████: Hold still for us, will you?

The dizzying swirl of pain and sickeningly pink color spots began to dwindle down, before Kensaku could finally hear someone calling out to him from the open door of the elevator.

Medical Student: ...sensei? Morimoto sensei? Are you alright?

Finding himself hunched against the wall of the elevator, Kensaku finally stands straight. Becoming a bit flustered at being caught in such a vulnerable state, he could only nervously laugh at the med student who had caught him in the lift.

Kensaku: Y-Yeah, sorry. I had a really bad migraine. I think I just need to get home and lay down.

Medical Student: Really? You need to care for yourself more sir…

Kensaku: I’ll be fine. And come on, I told you to not be so stiff! You can drop the polite attitude around me!

Patting the student on the shoulder, Kensaku passes the student laughing cheerily as if he wasn’t in a really bad situation just mere minutes ago. However, as soon as Kensaku makes his way outside the building, an emergency cigarette is quickly lit to alleviate the remaining pains that faintly throbbed in his head. After taking a deep inhale of the nicotine, Kensaku could only sigh out dismissively.

Kensaku: I should be fine. Just another… Hallucination is all. Nothing to be worried about...

To be continued...

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis microphone #hypmic oc #hypnosis microphone oc #hypnosis mic oc #toyama division #eco boon #kensaku morimoto #drama track

[what-if-nct]

Good morning, my precious fairy princess!

Just woke up from a dream that had me ready to mail my hands express way to Johnny:

My friend and I recently went to a concert - and I think this is stemming from that experience - but we went to a 127 concert (where Taeil and Doyoung were enlisted, they were waiting to get Taeyong) and afterwards, they did a meet and greet. My friend and I were sitting at a table with Mark and Johnny, and while I was trying to talk to Johnny, I saw him sneaking something in his hand to his mouth. So I tried to politely ask him, but he blew smoke in my face.

And I just looked at him like "what the FU-?!?!"

And then this fool just LAUGHED. My friends and a lot of people around me know how I feel about secondhand smoke, and it was so strong and gross. Not even like a vape smell, like bubblegum or cinnamon roll, just funky nicotine.

Meanwhile Mark is like "dude, not right now, chill," and kept trying to talk to some girls. Johnny was just like "man I don't care anymore." He just kept doing it. Then he tried to get close to say something to me, but I kept moving back and away. My friend saw me getting uncomfortable and told him to back off (she's a lil honey badger, i love her sm). He just had some security pull her to another table and he passed me an NDA, as well as like 7 other girls and basically said he was looking for a "group activity". I was just so disgusted like "yo, who TF is this man??? This is not my bias". But some girl I was sitting next to was practically throwing herself at him it was kind of sad and cringe. Then other girls started doing it too. I started to get up and walk to get my friend, but he had security bring me anyway.

I don't remember what happened or if it even continued from there, but I was LIVID. I can't say I could ever see him doing this, but it just felt so real I started panicking a bit in my sleep. I was ready to yeet out of the inception. Hopefully tonight's dream is better than this

You want me to beat his ass for you? Cause what the actual fuck. I want fight him. What was that? That's not Johnny. You know what now I'm thinking we may never actually know. It could be. I want to beat his as so bad. Like what's going on with these boys in dream world? Like he really needs his ass beat. I never wanted to fight Johnny more. What the hell. But dreams that cause that kind of internal anxiety while in a dream is horrible it's like its not overtly dangerous but you just feel unsafe and want to leave. I hope you have a better happier dream. With a better version of Johnny, cause that Johnny's a dick. I hope Bangchan visits you in a dream, he heals all things. Honestly the best boy to see in a dream.