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haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles · 4 years

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Let’s Pretend (Kuroo Tetsurou x F!reader)

this was for the hq writers net secret summer fic exchange! my partner was: @occasional-haikyuu hope you enjoy 🤗 i love writing Kuroo sm and i got really carried away with this one, i enjoyed writing it a lot 💕

genre: fluff, college!au, fake dating, friends to lovers words: 4k+

You and Kuroo have been friends since the first year of college. You met him through Akaashi, who you sat next to in English first semester. And at some point, you got comfortable enough to complain to him about how chemistry was totally kicking your ass and he mentioned that his friend who lived down the hall was pretty good at it. Akaashi offered to ask him if he’d help you out.

And that’s how you found yourself one afternoon waiting for a complete stranger in the library. You weren’t expecting the 6’2” middle blocker of the university’s volleyball team to slide into the seat next to you and introduce himself as Akaashi’s friend.

That was almost 3 years ago now, and it turns out the towering middle blocker you could barely speak a word to the first week of him tutoring you is a total dork that loves volleyball and science just a tad too much.

You plop down on the worn-out couch of your shared apartment with Kuroo, Akaashi, and Bokuto; who you met not long after meeting Kuroo, you shove Kuroo to the end to give yourself some space.

“There’s a perfectly good chair you know!” He complains, squished up against the arm of the couch.

“Huh.” You make a show of squinting at the empty chair. “I think that chair says ‘Kuroo’ on it though.”

He groans. “This couch isn’t made for four people!”

“It most definitely is, I just unfortunately happen to live with two freakishly tall volleyball players and one beefy one.” You jab a finger to the other side of you at Bokuto sandwiched between you and Akaashi on the couch.

Kuroo gives you a look, then turns his attention to the chair in question. “It says Kuroo on it, does it?”

You grin devilishly at him. “Sure does. Gotta squint to see it though.”

He sighs, but picks up his bowl from the table and moves over to the chair grumbling, “The things I let you do…” But you can see he’s trying to hide his smile. This time you smile innocently at him before taking a bite of your food and scooting over to his newly vacated spot. “Who’s turn is it tonight?”

“Mine—mine!” Bokuto shouts, nearly tipping his bowl over in his attempt to snatch the remote. He turns the channel to the college sports network, and you pull out your phone to scroll mindlessly through your feed. You’ve watched volleyball every night for the past week, giving up your nights in control of the remote because they all get unbearably antsy in the days leading up to a game.

So, to make up for it, you either get the remote for however many days you gave it up for or they do the dishes or something. You don’t mind too much, not when you’ve grown accustomed to it since all moving in together for second year. And besides, sometimes it’s just as entertaining watching them watch as it is watching the game itself. You like volleyball enough, having been to many of their games to support them, but watching it every night does get a little old for you.

Though, recently, you’ve found yourself watching Kuroo more often than not. The way his golden eyes intently watch the screen, his food forgotten halfway to his mouth—how his lips move almost imperceptibly as he counts to himself when he’d block. He’s so distracted that when his food slips off his utensil, he doesn’t notice, making a face when he bites at nothing. You don’t bother suppressing your giggles about it. To which he just slides a threatening look over at you before returning his attention to the TV.

“So,” you say loudly to get their attention, notorious for not hearing you when a game is on. “Which team are you playing?”

“The yellow one.” Akaashi points to the left side of the screen.

“Are they good?”

All three of them respond in unison, “Yes.”

You take that as a sign this isn’t a game you’re allowed to chat through. Kuroo surprises you by keeping the conversation going. “Are you going to come?”

Finishing your food, you shrug. “Sure, sounds like it’ll be a good game. Thursday, right?”

You stand, gathering the empty bowls to take to the kitchen. Again, Kuroo surprises you by pulling his attention from the match to hand you his bowl, muttering a quiet, “Thanks.”

Once you’re gone, he sighs internally, unsure why he wishes you’d come to every game. For a reason he can’t explain, during a game when he thinks his thighs will split the next time he jumps, or his fingers are finally going to break off, being able to glance up at you in the stands cheering them on gives him a burst of energy. And for months now, he’s been glancing at you a lot more frequently off the court.

He finds Bokuto and Akaashi staring at him, and all he can say is, “Shut up.”

You have to beg a couple of your girl friends to come to the game with you, enticing them with the idea of tall, attractive volleyball players. You would have gone alone of you had to but being with others is usually a lot more fun. Especially when your closest friends are in the game, it’s hard for you to find people to join you.

Volleyball is a pretty popular sport at your University for students to attend, so you annoy your friends to get their early, so you get decent seats. You arrive early enough to catch the tail end of both teams’ warm up, and you usually search for Bokuto’s unique black and white hair finding it easy to spot the familiar black mop of bedhead hair standing nearby.

Beside you, your friend asks, “Which ones are your roommates?”

You quickly point out Bokuto. “He’s the ace, and Akaashi is the one standing to the left of him—he’s the setter. And to the other side of him is Kuroo, a middle blocker, and the captain!”

“Middle blocker?”

You blink, realizing they don’t know much about volleyball in comparison to your strange knowledge of the sport you don’t even play. “Uh, yeah! So, most commonly tall players are in the position of middle blocker so that when the other team tries to spike, they can block it. You’ll see, it’s pretty crazy. I always think they’re going to get their arms ripped off, I don’t know how they do it.”

When the teams finish their warm-ups, they both line up on their respective sides to extend their thanks to the crowd for coming to the game. You beam and wave to your friends, doing your best to make the most noise out of everybody—probably looking ridiculous in the process.

Kuroo chuckles at your enthusiasm, Bokuto’s face splits into a smile and returns the gesture, making an effort to wave at the friends you’ve brought with you.

Once they head back to the coach, you friend leans over to whisper, “I know you live with them but…ever thought about dating one of them? ‘Cause—damn.”

“What? No!” You splutter. “I couldn’t! I know them a little too well.”

She raises an eyebrow suspiciously. Luckily, you’re saved by the referee blowing the whistle. “Oh, look! The game’s about to start.”

The boys were right, it does turn out to be an exciting game. A nail-biter, sit at the edge of your seat kind of game—your favorite kind. To your relief, your friends get really into the game, and don’t think about asking you more questions about your roommates. Though you can’t stop thinking about it. Not as you watch Kuroo’s jump serve, your eyes drifting to his shorts revealing his muscular thighs or the peek of skin you catch as his shirt rides up.

Have you thought about it in passing once or twice? Sure. Particularly when you’ve caught him just after a shower and he has the audacity to walk around the apartment with just a towel slung around his waist. The first time you saw him, your face set on fire and of course he caught it and chased you around the apartment yelling all sorts of playful jabs at you before you could sprint to the safety of your bedroom and slam the door in his face.

He never once has forgotten that instance, and even now you swear he walks around the apartment like that for longer than necessary on purpose just to fluster you. And sure, when you first met him a few years ago, you developed a crush on him, but it went away quickly after your friendship blossomed.

Didn’t it?

Your eyes widen ever so slightly, feeling like you’ve just had all the air knocked out of you.

Have you…liked…Kuroo all this time?

All those late nights studying, being with him nearly every weekend, enjoying almost every moment with him? The person you’d be so confident to say is your best friend and you’re just figuring this out now?

Holy shit—you think you’re going to pass out from the realization.

You watch Kuroo in a strange stupor, reeling from the emotions flooding you at the moment. But you come to a second realization shortly after the first.

That you’ve been friends all this time, and if he had ever felt that way about you…you assume it’s passed. And you can’t help but fixate on the fear that you’re too late in discovering the way you feel about him.

This isn’t going to be fun.

After the game, which his team fought tooth and nail to win, he notices you’re strangely distant. On the drive home while Bokuto is babbling about the game, you sit quietly in your seat, staring out the window, placating Bokuto with slight nods and occasional responses. It’s very unlike you and worries him.

What happened in the time span between the start and end of the game? Did one of your friends say something that put you off?

He shakes it off, as your spirits brighten slightly when Akaashi suggests you all pick up some takeout on the way home as he’s certain none of you want to put any effort into cooking. Kuroo suggests your favorite place to get food, but if you notice his attempt to bring you out of this weird silent slump, you make no indication of it.

That’s where you all end up getting food, but when you all return home and Akaashi says to you, “Well, what are we watching for the next couple days?”

You dig into the meal, shrugging. “You guys can watch whatever you want tonight, I have a quiz I need to study for.”

Kuroo nearly drops his container. Normally, you take the opportunity to watch whatever you want, no matter the complaints it might raise from any of them. He clamps his mouth shut around his chopsticks and catches the similarly surprised glances of Akaashi and Bokuto from across the table. They’ve caught on as well.

When you finish, you get up, throw your container away, and head up the stairs without another word. The moment you’re out of earshot, Akaashi notes, “Something’s up.”

“Yeah, you know she’s usually pretty amped after a game like that one…” Bokuto mutters, his mouth still half full.

“You should check on her.”

Gazing up the stairs, Kuroo gets the feeling you won’t be receptive to talking. Most of the time, you just need time to sort yourself out. You’re acting weird, but not enough to cause him real alarm yet. “I think she just needs some time,” he says, heart heavy that while he wants to go upstairs to help, he knows you well enough that he probably shouldn’t. He learned that the hard way.

Akaashi just shrugs. “Alright. You’d know best.”

“What does that mean?”

He’s unfazed. “I just mean that while we’re all friends, I think you know her better than us.” His eyes meet Kuroo’s, and just like Kenma could always see straight through him, Akaashi can too. “Just an observation.”

Leave it to Bokuto to say bluntly, “Yeah, we all know you’re in love with her.”

“Bokuto!” Kuroo hisses, glaring at him. She is right upstairs! “I am not—”

“You are,” Akaashi says. “And we all know it except for you and the only person denser than you who is currently directly above us.”

Kuroo slumps in his chair defeated. He does know it; he just doesn’t want to admit it. “Well, let’s all just keep that information to ourselves, shall we?” He groans, leaning his head back onto his chair. He can’t imagine what would happen if you accidentally overheard the fact that Kuroo thinks about you on a near daily basis and hasn’t been able to stop since he met you years ago.

Living together has only made it worse and with Akaashi and Bokuto on his ass about it now, he can’t imagine he’s going to be able to keep it a secret for much longer.

The next morning, you seem fine. Kuroo can’t detect any of the strange quiet that overcame you last night and things seem…normal. He couldn’t fall asleep though, too worried that you overheard the conversation after you left. But his worries are assuaged this morning when you saunter into the kitchen, unfazed by him, and even asking how he slept.

He swallows with difficulty. “Uh, not great if I’m honest.”

Without even sparing him a glance you say, “I know. I heard you tossing and turning all night.”

He smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Growing pains.”

Now you turn to stare at him, giving him a complete once over head to toe. “Growing pains?! You’re joking—you already barely miss the tops of the doorframes!”

God, he really should have picked a more believable excuse. “Guess we’re gunna have to move,” he offers playfully.

“No—you’re gunna have to move. Or get used to ducking.” You stick your tongue out at him before taking a seat at the counter, sipping from your mug while scrolling mindlessly through your phone.

“Good game last night, huh?” He blurts trying to fill the silence, so he doesn’t start drowning in thoughts about how cute you look in your shorts or how he’s hyper-fixated on the cup you keep bringing up to your mouth.

You shrug. “My friends seemed to enjoy themselves, so that was fun. I got to show off my endless amounts of volleyball knowledge thanks to you guys.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“Positions and plays and stuff. But I think they were much more interested in um—,” you cough, then glance at him from beneath your lashes. “The uh…players.”

He blinks. “What do you mean?” He knows exactly what you mean but he wants to hear you say it.

“I am not saying it.”

“But I really don’t know,” he muses.

A groan emits from you. “Yes, you do—I know you do.”

He smirks, making heat crawl up your neck. “What about the players?”

Burying your face in your hands, you shout defeated, “Ugh—they think all of you are hot okay?”

The mischievous grin that rises to his lips nearly sends you into overdrive. “Oh, we do get pretty warm,” he agrees, pouring his hot water into a travel mug and snagging a tea bag.

Your eyes narrow dangerously at him. “I hate you.” He just gives you a wink before slipping out the door. Wanting to scold yourself, you tangle your fingers in your hair, trying to convince yourself that was a perfectly normal interaction with him and there isn’t anything to read into. Not that insufferable smirk, or the way his golden eyes pin you in your seat.

You are royally fucked until you get over this.

Snapping you into reality, Akaashi clears his throat from the hallway behind you. “I swear if you say one goddamn word,” you threaten, shoving your mug into the sink and storming past a rather smug looking Akaashi.

On campus later that afternoon, Kuroo is on his way towards the station on the other side of campus to go home when ahead of him he spots one of the students he tutors coming the opposite direction. After tutoring you so successfully in chemistry, you had encouraged him to get a job at the tutoring center and he’s been working there since his second year. And this particular student, although he knows she means well, is by no means shy about her infatuation with him.

Just earlier today he tutored here and part of him thinks she actually does understand chemistry, but just makes appointments at the center solely to spend time with him. And today she asked him about the party being thrown by several sports clubs tonight, wondering if the volleyball club is a part of it.

He knows about the party, but the volleyball club had opted to not help host it and he had yet to ask the others if they wanted to attend. So, he’d given her a non-committal response.

When the session ended, she’d left with a suggestive, “Well, I hope to see you there Kuroo-kun!”

He can’t help that seeing her coming at him from the other direction, he instinctively panics and scans his surroundings for somewhere to hide until she passes. It’s then that he hears your familiar laughter fill the air and he immediately locates you sitting on the lawn with Akaashi. Relief fills him and without even thinking, he strides off the pavement into the grass and abruptly plops down beside you.

“Kuroo? What the—”

“Hi, sorry, please help me out.” He motions with his head in the direction of his tutee.

You tilt your head to glance behind his shoulder, catching sight of the girl whose been pursuing Kuroo since he started tutoring him at the beginning of the semester. “This is ridiculous.” You giggle quietly at the 6’2” volleyball player trying to hide behind your frame.

“You can’t just stop to chat for a few minutes?” Akaashi asks in a hushed tone.

“She’s going to ask me to go to a party with her tonight.”

“Ah,” you say in understanding. Kuroo is far too nice to tell her no flat out.

And despite his attempts to avoid her, she spots him anyways and makes a detour out onto the lawn to talk to him. “Hi Kuroo-kun! Done with classes for the day?”

“Hey Suzuki.” He admirably gives her a warm smile. “Yeah, just enjoying the rest of the afternoon.” He feels awful. She’s a nice girl, but unfortunately, he’s pathetically in love with the one sitting next to him.

“Have you decided about the party yet?”

Unsurprisingly, Kuroo turns to the two of you for the answer. You shrug, looking at Akaashi. “Sounds fun, we haven’t been to a party in a while. Think Bo will be up for it?”

“Bokuto? Up for a party? Never.”

You chuckle at that and try not to laugh at the glare Kuroo points in your direction. He was hoping you’d say no, so he doesn’t have to endure advances from Suzuki all night.

Suzuki grins and tells him she’ll see him tonight before bounding off, and once she’s out of earshot he grips your arm hissing, “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Don’t worry.” You nudge him. “We’ll protect you all night. C’mon, lets have fun tonight!”

He’s in no position to deny you.

The party is already in full swing by the time you all get there, and Bokuto is none too shy to immediately drag Akaashi out onto the thumping dancefloor. You can’t help smiling softly at them, knowing that only Bokuto can get Akaashi to loosen up like that. Meanwhile, you and Kuroo hang back near the bar, sipping idly from your cups, laughing at Bokuto’s dance moves.

Though the unease rolling off Kuroo is palpable. Despite making humorous comments about how Bokuto is bound to take out someone’s eye with his limbs flailing around like that, he can’t hide his nervous glances as he scans the crowd for Suzuki.

Eventually he spots her, and he’s not sure how she hasn’t spotted him yet. He thought she’d be actively on the lookout for him, but instead she’s chatting with some other people, and unaware of his presence yet. He’s unsure if he can handle a night of being pursued by her but god—he also can’t stomach breaking her heart either. Not when he has to tutor her for the rest of the semester.

Glancing down at you next to him, he follows your gaze fixed on the dancefloor, smiling softly at your two friends enjoying themselves. “You want to dance?” He shoves off the wall to stand in front of you.

“What?”

“Didn’t you say let’s have some fun tonight?” He jabs a thumb behind him. “Looks like fun to me.”

A grin spreads across your lips that makes his heart stutter in his chest.

Following him down to the floor, you both shove your way through the crowd to reach Akaashi and Bokuto near the middle of the mass of people. When you arrive, Bokuto shouts a happy greeting and takes your hands into his to help you start dancing before returning his attention to Akaashi. There’s not much room down here, pressing you close against Kuroo, but you don’t think much of at as you’re pressed close to everyone around you too.

But Kuroo can’t think of anything but how close you are. Your laughter filling his ears as you lift your hands and start moving your hips to the beat—he realizes what a terrible idea this was. He wants to set his hands on those hips so bad and pull you even closer against him, close enough that he can feel your heartbeat against his chest and—fuck, he’s going to lose it tonight.

Before he can spiral into his fantasies about you, he instinctively looks for Suzuki again to see if she’s noticed him yet. He hopes he’s obscured enough on the dancefloor that it gives him a bit longer before the onslaught of suggestive words and here she won’t be pressured to keep it in check like she is on campus.

But just as he’s about to overthink that situation, a warm hand reaches up to grasp his face pulling his attention back to you. Any thoughts he had are tossed out the window as you stare at him openly and seriously.

“That doesn’t look like fun.” You point out.

“She’s here.”

You do a quick survey of the room and locate her; blissfully unaware the object of her infatuation is right under her nose. “Why don’t you just reject her?” You say out of the blue, startling him. He opens his mouth to object, but you just continue, “I get that you think you’re too nice and all, but wouldn’t it be nicer than leading her on like this?”

He has no argument against that.

“In my experience, most girls would much prefer you be honest with them. Just tell her you’re not interested. Simple.”

He stares at you. Mulling over the words you just said.

Be honest with them.

“You’re right,” he says, no longer thinking about Suzuki. “I’m not interested in her.”

“See? I told you, easy—”

“I’m interested in you.”

You make a small choking noise and blink dumbfounded at him. “That’s not funny.”

His expression doesn’t change, and your knees almost buckle under the weight of his stare. “It’s not a joke.”

“You…you—what? That’s…what?” He tries not to chuckle that he’s broken you into being unable to put together a sentence. “For how long?”

He shrugs, a little embarrassed to admit it. “A while.”

“I—ugh. You’re damn lucky I realized it recently too.” His eyes widen, lips curving into a smile as you throw your arms around his neck and press your lips to his.

He’s perfect and warm and solid against you, kissing you like he’s thought about this moment a million times. And by god is he fucking good at it. In the back of your mind, you swear you hear Bokuto’s whoop of excitement breaking through the music shouting, “Finally!!”

#Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader #haikyuuwritersnet #hqwnsecretsummer #haikyuu x reader #kuroo tetsurou imagine #kuroo tetsurou scenario #kuroo x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario

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starbornvalkyrie · 4 years

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what we could be | part three

catch up here.

trigger warnings: depictions of anxiety, panic attacks

“Hellooo?” The sultry female voice repeated.

At least Aelin is sure she doesn’t need to get her ears checked--it was definitely a woman who answered. She pulled the phone from her ear to double check the name she dialed. Indeed, Rowan, bird emoji, in bold white letters stares back at her.

In the background, Aelin heard the rustle of sheets. A mumbled male voice.

Aelin immediately hung up and threw her phone to the other side of her bed. She pulled her knees to chest, tucked her head between them, and forced herself to breathe in and out. In and out. In. Out.

The pounding in her ears threatened to pull her into the oblivion she always tries so hard to avoid. Aelin’s anxiety started showing face after her parents died, only to worsen after her Uncle Gavriel. Her first night in Arobynn’s foster care was also the first time she had a panic attack.

For Aelin, they come in the form of water. She starts in a room, which is more like a glorified box. The walls are either made of glass or a clear plastic, she can never get close enough to tell, and although there is no ceiling, the walls run farther and higher than her eyes can see. Her room-box is on a beach somewhere with wet sand at her feet. In the beginning, she tried to dig her way out, only to give up when each handful of sand was replaced by twice that. Until the sand was up to her knees, trapping her. It’s always night time, the sky starless. The only light is provided by the sliver of a waning moon over the horizon.

Then the tide begins to rise. There are no waves yet, just a gradual increase in water. It reaches her feet first, naturally, and by the time the water reaches the opposite wall of her room-box, it’s at her knees. Then the water bounces off the wall, creating ripples in the water that threaten to throw her off-balance.

The force of the waves intensifies as the water reaches her waist. And then she’s tumbling. The first few times, she can still reach the bottom to push herself to the surface. She’s been through this so much, she knows that after her third push she needs to try and take the deepest breath she can manage before she’s pulled under for good.

That happens next. She’s unsure which way is up or down, right or left. She tries to swim in whichever direction feels right, but the water is endless and she’s no longer in the room-box. She’s in the depths of the ocean, too far below to where there is no current to guide her, only nothing.

All too soon, she runs out of breath, but she would rather suffocate herself than inhale water. Either way, her panic wins. Aelin is never the target, without her they cease to exist. It’s that fire in her heart that the panic is after because without that fire, Aelin is no more. Her attacks are smart because they know there are two ways to extinguish a fire: deprive it of oxygen or get it wet.

Aelin is about to release the hold she has on her lungs when she feels something in her hand. In the water, she can’t tell what it is until another set of fingers interlace with hers.

Then she’s being pulled. Pulled and pulled, up and up, until the black of the water fades to blue. She never knows when it happens, but when she finally breaks the surface, there’s sunlight.

Slowly, she becomes more aware of her surroundings. Below her, she feels the fabric of her bedsheets, not the grains of sand. Her skin is damp from sweat, not soaked with sea water. Her breathing, while still shallow, is beginning to even out.

Her years of going to the university’s wellness center kicked in after a minute, and she began to list foods in alphabetical order in her head. Apples, bananas, cake. She wiggles her toes. French fries, grapes, hamburgers. She stretches her legs. Kiwi, lasagna, mangoes. She flexes her fingers, her arms. Oranges, popsicles, quesadillas.

In. Out.

Spaghetti, tacos, udon noodles.

Aelin lifts her head and opens her eyes. She blinks a few times and is finally able to focus on the soft forest green eyes staring back at her. They are so similar to yet completely different from the bright emeralds she longs to see.

Her best friend just sat there, holding her sweaty hand in hers until Aelin was ready to speak. She had to clear her throat a few times before she rasped, “A woman answered his phone.”

Lysandra’s eyes widened ever so slightly, but her face revealed nothing as she grabbed a glass of water she must have brought with her. Wordlessly, she handed it to Aelin. She downed half the glass in one go, then finished it in two more. She kept the glass in her hands, spinning it mindlessly as they talked.

“I don’t think you need me to tell you that it might not mean anything,” she said.

Aelin sighed. “I don’t think you need me to tell you that my mind isn’t exactly in the right place to be thinking of silver linings.”

“I know, I do, but we don’t need to freak out about it quite yet. I mean, you were going to go on a date with Chaol, right?” Aelin nodded weakly, seeing where she was going with this. “And he doesn’t actually know about the baby yet. So truly, he hasn’t done anything wrong, yeah?”

“I really hate when you’re right.”

“I think you secretly love it.”

The corner of Aelin’s mouth quirked up for a split second. “You’re as insufferable as my cousin.”

Lysandra barked out a laugh that made Aelin giggle. The sound was short-lived as the best friends were enveloped by silence once again.

Aelin contemplated what to do next, knowing Lysandra was exactly right. She was going to go on a date with someone else. So why did the thought of Rowan with another woman freak her out so badly? Gods, she was a mess. She really wants to blame it on the baby.

The baby.

Aelin touched a hand to her still-flat stomach and picked up her phone, knowing she needed to just rip the band-aid off. Her phone showed no new messages from Rowan, but why would he call his ex when he can be tangled in the sheets with the sexy-voiced woman? Not the point, Aelin. Right. She opened her text messages, scrolling to her conversation with Rowan.

Her heart clenched and silver lined her eyes when she saw that the last message he had sent her was on New Year’s Day. It read, Here’s to you and me in 2020, baby. I love you. Within 24 hours of that message, their relationship went to shit. Aelin doesn’t even remember what really happened, but next thing she knew, she was standing in an airport terminal crying, single, and unknowingly with child.

Aelin took a deep breath to calm her nerves and typed out a simple, Hey Rowan. I know we haven’t talked since you left, but I was wondering if you could call me when you’re free? Just let me know, thanks.

She locked her phone and crawled back under the covers. Effectively drained from her panic, the fire that was burning so bright when she woke up was barely an ember.

The sound of Lysandra moving about her apartment lulled her back into a dreamless sleep.

----------

Rowan Whitethorn was tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. He was so gods damned tired. His old friend, Vaughan, told him that if he took just one really easy study abroad class, he’ll essentially get a semester long vacation paid for completely by financial aid.

Rowan had a free elective left in his crazy pre-law schedule, so he chose photography. Just taking pictures of random shit, right?

Wrong.

His brain is overflowing with random information about aperture and lighting and exposure, and if someone tells him his angles are wrong one more time, he’s going to lose it. On top of that, he was assigned a partner to work with this whole semester. And because there really must be a god out there whose sole purpose is to spite him, his partner is his unbearable ex, Remelle.

He and Remelle are from the same hometown and went to the same middle and high school. They started dating the summer before they left for college and decided to stay together at the University of Terrasen.

He wasn’t sure what it was exactly that made him realize Remelle was a Grade A Bitch, but by the end of fall semester, he ended it with her. Then he met Aelin through Fenrys, and - well, he doesn’t want to think about her right now.

Rowan has been in Wendlyn for about two months now, running around the city finding subjects for their project. Wendlyn is one of the biggest cities he’s ever been to, and even if he commutes everywhere he’s trying to go, it takes him a whole day to barely cover sixteenth of the land.

It wouldn’t be so bad if he had someone else to split the city with, but Remelle usually spends her whole day seducing whatever poor bastard she can get to take her to bed that night instead. He’d drag Fenrys along if he could, but he opted to take an Old Language class and is stuck in a classroom at Mistward Tech.

The weather in Wendlyn was finally beginning to warm up after weeks of blizzards and freezing temperatures that put Terrasen winters to shame, so Rowan chose to wander on foot. He spends most of the morning taking practice shots of Wendlyn architecture and anything else that might look nice for the project.

Rowan had to admit this was a nice excuse to go sightseeing.

By noon, he was feeling good about the progress he made and planned to reward himself with whatever delicious spread their hosts had prepared for lunch. He figured he was about an hour walk away from their housing, so he opted to call an Uber.

It took him about five minutes of rummaging through the camera bag before he finally found his phone. The sun was so bright at this time of day that the only thing he could see was that his facial recognition wasn’t working. Using muscle memory, he typed in his passcode when the faint lines of numbers appeared. That didn’t work either.

Growing more and more frustrated and hungry by the minute, Rowan walked until he found an awning to use as shade. Blinking away the blinding spots from his eyes, his frustration morphed into anger.

This wasn’t his fucking phone.

Since when did he and Remelle have the same phone? With almost identical cases? He cursed her for whatever plot she’s probably scheming by switching their phones. He cursed her again for being the reason he’s way too exhausted to realize the phone he packed that morning wasn’t even his.

Rowan decided to order a sandwich and water from a shop nearby - using Remelle’s card from the wallet attached to her phone, because fuck you, Remelle - and walk back.

As he walked, Rowan let his mind wander to the golden haired beauty with turquoise eyes across the sea - the source of his emotional exhaustion. He loved her, would go as far as saying he was in love with her. But something about their chemistry had exploded in the weeks leading up to his study abroad program, and not in a good way.

For lack of a better explanation, he was confused. From the moment he met her in his own apartment with Fenrys, he knew they were going to be something. Not even a month later, they went on their first date and the rest was history. Not only was their friendship instantaneously synchronous, but when they finally crossed that intimate threshold, their chemistry was like no other.

Fast forward two years later, and they were better than ever. Aelin fit in with his friend group so perfectly she officially dubbed them “the Cadre” and herself as their “Queen”. Rowan was starting to take his future with her seriously.

But then Lyria transferred to the University of Terrasen.

Rowan never told Aelin about her. He didn’t think he had to. They were childhood to middle school sweethearts, hardly anything substantial. She moved before they got to high school when her dad was transferred to the Air Force base in Eyllwe. They kept in touch as best they could, but it was high school. Remelle was there and Lyria wasn’t. When Aelin came along, he forgot about her altogether.

His first week of senior year, he was waiting for his comparative law class to start, when she sat down next to him. His emerald green eyes met startlingly familiar chestnut ones, and Rowan felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was lucky it was the first day of syllabus week - it didn’t matter if he paid attention or not.

They caught up over coffee and started studying together throughout the semester. He told her all about Aelin, and when he finally introduced the two women, they were fast friends. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but at some point, Aelin’s demeanor began to change.

She was usually so confident with herself and her place in the world, but every time Lyria was mentioned, her eyes shuttered for a brief second. If he wasn’t constantly enamoured with the constant shift from turquoise to gold in her eyes, he would have never noticed.

Then her jealousy began to show, along with her possessiveness. It was unbecoming of her. But every time he brought it up, her pride took over and she denied all of his accusations. Every time he tried to explain that he loved Aelin and a romantic relationship with Lyria was a thing of the past, she brushed it off with an I know but continued to act like a stranger.

When he felt he couldn’t take it anymore, he used his study abroad as an excuse to take a break. He thought it would be a good idea for the two of them to spend some time apart and re-evaluate when he was back in Terrasen. At this point in time, if she hasn’t figured out that he has been faithful to her this whole time, he isn’t sure he will want to fight for them.

It was that thought that brought him back to the housing campus right outside of Mistward Tech. He marched himself straight to Remelle’s room, knowing that even though it was well into the afternoon, she was most definitely still tangled in the sheets with a stranger.

After a minute of incessant knocking, Remelle opened the door with an irritated, “What?”

Rowan didn’t bother being pleasant. “Give me my phone.”

“What are you talking about?” The glint in her eye told him she knew exactly what he was talking about, and Rowan was not having it.

“I honestly don’t give a fuck about what game you’re playing, but I’m exhausted, hungry, and need my phone back.”

“Why do you need it? Expecting a call from someone?”

“No? I just want it back?” Remelle stared at him with a look he couldn’t quite decipher before turning back into her room to retrieve his phone.

When they traded, she said, “You got a weird call this morning. I obviously thought it was my phone so I didn’t bother checking the caller ID, but the other person hung up without saying anything.”

Rowan mumbled a thanks then went to the kitchen to grab a snack to eat in his bed. As soon as he flopped on the bed, all he wanted to do was take a nap, but he managed to stay awake long enough to check his notifications.

Other than a few likes on a post he uploaded a few days ago, there was nothing interesting. He plugged his phone into the charger by the night stand and was about to close his eyes when the sound of an incoming text made him alert. It wasn’t just any sound, though. It was the first few notes of Fur Elise. Aelin’s favorite piano piece.

He quickly sat up on the side of the bed and unlocked his phone. What he read made his heart rate increase as if he was running up the side of one of the mountains near Mistward. She wrote, Hey Rowan. I know we haven’t talked since you left, but I was wondering if you could call me when you’re free? Just let me know, thanks.

He didn’t need to think twice about tapping her name on his favorites list and lifting the phone to his ear. It rang and rang and rang for so long, he thought she wasn’t going to answer. But then she did. And his heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice.

“Rowan?” She sounded hesitant, like she wasn’t sure it was him on the other end.

“Yeah, it’s me. Um, how are you, Aelin?”

He could hear her heavy breathing, trying to steady herself. It made Rowan nervous. “I think so? It depends on the day, really. I, um, I actually have something I need to talk to you about. I had a whole speech planned out, but I don’t know if there’s a best way to tell you this.”

Rowan waited with bated breath. What could she possibly have to tell him? He wondered if she started dating someone else already. The thought made his stomach drop. But what else could it be?

Aelin took a deep breath with a forceful exhale. The next words that came out of her mouth made his heart join his stomach on the floor.

“Rowan. I’m pregnant.”

---

tag list:

@maddymelv || @lucy617 || @tillyrubes10 || @faerie-queen-fireheart || @tottenhamboys20 || @the-third-me || @superspiritfestival || @rolltide7 || @courtofjurdan || @sleeping-and-books || @aelinchocolatelover

#rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin #rowan whitehorn #aelin galathynius #rowan x aelin #modern au #throne of glass #sarah j maas #my writing #sfq meg writes

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rune-writes · 3 years

Text

Sentimental Coffee

Fandom: Persona 5

Ann Takamaki Week 2020 » Day 3: Free Day

Word Count: 2897

Rating: G

Summary: On a blazing summer morning, after a photoshoot that ended early due to the scorching heat, Ann found a new coffee shop that just opened on Central Street. As she sent Ren a picture of her cake and blended chocolate drink, she recalled of a time when Ren taught her how to use the siphons a month before he returned to his hometown. When winter was almost over, but a chill still hung in the air.

Note: This was supposed to be my piece for the digital Persona Love Webzine, but since that project was cancelled, I decided to post this on Ann Week 2020 :)

Read on AO3.

~*~*~*~*~

“One double chocolate chip frappe and one slice of cheesecake.” The waiter, having recited her order, glanced up from his note. “Anything else, Miss?”

Ann stared at the list of cakes on the menu. The red velvet and fruit tarts looked tempting. Or maybe she should add the quiche. But her manager’s voice rang out in her ears—to cut down on her snacks and sweets—so Ann closed the menu and smiled at the waiter.

“That’s all, thanks,” she said.

A faint blush. The waiter nodded and jotted down on his notepad before scurrying off to the counter on the other side of the shop. He spoke to his friends behind it, who then glanced over their shoulders to look at her, only to duck their heads again when they found her staring back. Ann couldn’t keep herself from giggling.

She had been on a shoot nearby, and even though it was only 10 AM, the sun had already been blazing hot that the shoot ended early. The staff had said they would continue in the afternoon, hoping the heat would have cooled by then. So as Ann drifted away from the crew and wondered if she should wait at home, she spotted the little café tucked between a clothing store and sundries shop—a newly opened coffee shop on Central Street that was featured in last month’s magazine. She had been wanting to visit the place, but with gigs, interviews, and college, Ann hadn’t found the right time to go.

Sweat rolled down her temple. Ann was already sitting beneath the air conditioner, but even that only helped so much. She took off her cap, tied her hair to a tail, and fanned herself.

“I’m sorry for the wait.”

The waiter from before came with her cheesecake on a tray. A slice of yellowish-white goodness with a whipped cream and cherry on top that made her mouth water. He set the plate down in front of her.

“It’s quite hot today, isn’t it?” he went on. “Do you want me to turn the temperature down?”

“That’s fine, thanks,” Ann replied. The sight of her cheesecake was enough to cool her down. She couldn’t wait to dig in. “I’ll just rest for a bit.”

The waiter nodded but didn’t seem to move. When Ann looked up, she met his expectant gaze. “I’m sorry if this is rude of me, but I can’t help but notice,” he began after a moment of fidgeting on his feet. There were only a few other customers present, but he leaned his head down and dropped his voice to a whisper. “You’re the model Ann Takamaki, right?”

Ann blinked in surprise. Then again, she hadn’t put the effort to disguise herself. Only a pair of sunglasses and a cap—which she was using as a fan. Her lips parted into a practiced, effortless smile.

“Could you keep it quiet, please? I’d rather not draw attention to myself,” she said with a finger to her lips. The waiter nodded, too eager for his own good. He said something about her frappe being ready soon and that he hoped she enjoyed her stay before leaving for the counter again.

It felt strange, watching the waiter talk animatedly with his coworkers, who occasionally spared her glances between putting coffee beans in a grinder or pouring blended drinks into cups. Was it because she had been putting more effort into her modelling lately? Ann couldn’t walk down the streets without being noticed anymore. Her cap and sunglasses had become her best friend, but with summer on the way, there had been no way she could have hidden herself beneath a cowl or some sort.

Ann grabbed the small silver spoon the waiter had set for her and sliced into her cheesecake. Soft and creamy, the cake melted the moment it entered her mouth. Still cool, fresh from the refrigerator. Ann squealed in delight. Who was it who said she shouldn’t snack in the morning? Though would this count as a snack? How many calories would she have to burn today, including her frappe that had yet to come?

“Here’s your double chocolate chip frappe, Miss.” The same waiter placed a glass of blended chocolate in front of her. Look at that whipped cream! Topped with chocolate syrup and sprinkled with chocolate chips.

Ann thanked the waiter before sipping her drink, pulling the straw out to swipe at the cream along with the syrup and chips. She broke into a jubilant grin. So cool. So sweet. Just the perfect thing she needed to ward off the last of the summer heat from her skin. What her manager didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

She fished for her phone from inside her bag and positioned her frappe and half-eaten cheesecake in front of her. She set to take a picture, but then opened her messaging app and clicked on Ren’s chat at the top.

‘What are you doing?’ she typed. Ren was on an out-of-town trip with his college friends for an assignment. Ann wasn’t jealous, not when her boyfriend was trekking through a village in this scorching heat.

His reply came not a minute later: ‘Taking a break.’ He followed it with a picture of him and his three other friends in a Japanese-style restaurant. Mount Fuji soared into the clear, cloudless blue sky, its snow-capped tip just visible beyond the square window panes. ‘I’ll be back this afternoon.’

Ann took a picture of her frappe and cake and sent it to him. ‘Jealous?’ She added a lot of smirking and grinning emojis.

‘Heh. It’s not as hot here as it is there.’

Ann could almost see him smirking. Jerk. She couldn’t help but giggle.

‘A café just opened in Central Street,’ she said. ‘They have these siphons too, like the ones in Leblanc.’

‘Ahh, yeah, I think someone mentioned that before. Remember how you messed up Leblanc when I taught you how to use them?’

Ann paused. ‘What?’

‘The siphons.’

It took her a moment to remember. Something that happened before Ren moved back to his hometown. When winter was almost over, but a chill still hung in the air.

***

Ann sat at the counter with a magazine in hand. The quiet hum of conversation filled her senses. An anchor spoke in a news program while Sojiro sat by the cash register, reading a newspaper.

Ann flipped through her magazine, trying hard to make sense of the words. She skimmed through the pages, stopping only at the pretty pictures of far-off islands and expensive resorts. A yawn threatened to swallow her face, but she held it in, eyes blinking back tired tears as she flipped another page.

A snort came from up ahead. Ren, now standing by the siphons, was masterfully navigating the intricate device. Ann pulled her lips into a scowl.

“What?” she said, her voice clipped.

“You can take a nap upstairs if you want,” he replied with a chuckle.

She would, but Ann didn’t want to waste what’s left of her precious time with Ren napping in his room. Even if that precious time was only her sitting there and watching him work. She picked up another scent of coffee as Ren added tablespoons of soft grounds into boiling water. After quick, gentle stirs and all the coffee grounds submerged, Ren set the paddle down and lowered the heat.

“I can’t concentrate when you’re staring like that,” he said, setting a timer on his phone. His tone was firm, but he was smiling.

Ann blinked, then smirked, propping her elbows on the counter and leaning her chin between her fingers. “What, did I make your heart flutter?”

“Stupid.” Ren gave her forehead a gentle flick. “My heart’s been fluttering since the moment I saw you.”

Maybe if he’d grinned or snickered or showed any signs that he was teasing, Ann would have taken it in stride and laughed it off. But Ren was serious and his voice matter-of-fact, as though it was an indisputable, universal truth. Ann’s face burned. Before she could come up with a reply, Sojiro’s stern voice broke through their banter.

“Can you kids please keep the flirting to a minimum? We still have customers, you know.” The middle-aged proprietor spared them a glance from his seat, one corner of his lips tugged into a teasing grin.

Right. Ann dropped her gaze to her magazine, but not before catching Ren’s smirk. She gaped at him. He was teasing her!

“That’s alright, Boss,” the old lady said. The elderly couple were the only customers left in the otherwise busy day. They had been sitting at the table behind Ann for almost an hour with nothing but a cup of coffee. “It’s nice seeing young love blossoming in front of you. Isn’t that right, Dear?” she asked her husband sitting across from her.

Her husband nodded, mumbling “right, right,” though his attention was fixed on the television. Ann shared a glance with Ren and was glad to see she wasn’t the only one feeling embarrassed.

“Ah, but I heard you’re leaving soon, son?” the old lady went on. Ren looked up from the siphons. “Boss told me.”

“Oh…” A slight widening of his eyes, Ren’s gaze wavered for a fraction of a second before he resorted to a quiet nod. “Yeah.” He stirred the coffee in the siphon and removed the heat source from the bottom chamber. “I’ll return to my hometown after the semester ends.”

“It’ll be lonely here,” the old man added, sipping his coffee. “It was nice having a fresh face around, unlike the old grump who runs this place.”

“Keep badmouthing me and I’ll charge you twice for the coffee, gramps,” Sojiro chimed from the kitchen.

They all laughed.

The couple finished their coffee and asked for a check. While Sojiro handled the cash register, Ann found her gaze drawn toward the siphons, where the coffee was now making its way back to the bottom chamber. It had always fascinated her—the way they worked. Ren had tried to explain the science behind it, but Ann could never truly grasp it. Something about vapors and pressure and vacuum. Ann enjoyed seeing the water rise to the top beaker before falling back down after the heat source was extinguished, extracting all the essence, aroma, and taste from the grounds. And once everything was finished, a small dome-shaped mound formed over the filter.

“Your coffee, Miss,” Ren said, pushing a cup of the freshly brewed coffee toward her. Ann stared at it, perplexed. She hadn’t ordered a coffee. But before she could ask, Sojiro had cut her off, asking Ren to watch the store while he went out to buy groceries for the evening. The elderly couple had left, and Sojiro was already untying his apron, setting it down on the chair by the register.

Ren replied with an “alright”, but even after his guardian had left, he still didn’t look at her. She followed him with her eyes as he wiped the counter clean, wondering what thoughts hide behind that beautiful poker face. It was not until he stopped and asked, “What?” that Ann shook her head and mumbled, “Nothing.”

I heard you’re leaving soon.

Right. There was only one month left. The coffee swirled dark in her cup. Ann brought the rim to her lips and sipped the thin liquid. Bitter. But satisfying. Ren’s coffee had never failed to put a smile on her face.

“I’m gonna miss your coffee,” she murmured.

A pause in his movements. She felt it more than she saw it, the way his gaze fell on her. He studied her, and for a moment she refused to look up. Ren always had that piercing glare, as if he could see right through her to the deepest, darkest parts of her mind, and right now, Ann didn’t want to feel naked in front of him. But then he called her name, so soft, his voice just above a whisper, and it was an instinctive gesture—the way her eyes met his. The look she saw on his face rooted her to the spot. Gone was the poker face he so often donned. His dark gray orbs were drawn, his lips pulled into the most tender smile she had ever seen on him.

“Want me to teach you how to make them?” he asked.

It was such an unexpected offer that Ann had to take a moment to understand what he meant: the siphons. But… why? What brought it up? Ann tilted her head to the side in puzzlement.

Ever since the first moment she met him, Ann could never guess what Ren was thinking. One moment he was the convicted criminal on probation. The next, he became one of the few people in her life who ever reached out to her, when all the world saw her as nothing but a nuisance. He’d become so dear, and she would not trade him for any other men in the entire world.

Then the tender smile disappeared, replaced by that cheeky yet endearing smirk that pushed her heart to near-bursting.

“Might as well,” Ren added, “so you don’t come crying to me every night on the phone.”

Ann rolled her magazine and slapped him hard on the arm.

“Between you and me, we both know who’s gonna call the other every other night,” she retorted.

“Wanna bet on that?”

He was grinning, and so was she. The next thing she knew, both of them were doubling over with giggles and laughter that neither of them could stop. She drank her perfectly brewed coffee, which, in her opinion, was already better than Sojiro’s, and Sojiro’s was a tough bar to pass. If only he could stay…

Ren quirked an eyebrow when Ann looked at him. “Well,” she said, getting up to her feet. She moved to the other side of the counter and stood in front of the siphons. Blue eyes met gray, and Ann hoped her smile was bright enough to hide her melancholy. “What’s the first step, chef?”

***

How could someone mess up a place just by brewing coffee?

It was supposed to be easy—or, Ren said it was supposed to be easy. “Pour water into the bottom chamber, let it boil over the heat source, see it transform into vapor as the rest go up the siphon into the top chamber. Add coffee grounds, stir, and wait.” The worst she could do was probably the uneven ratio, or the stirring method, or the timer, resulting in a too-thin coffee or too thick. So how had it ended up with coffee splattered all over the counter and a slight blister on Ren’s hand?

‘It was mostly your fault,’ Ann replied in her text.

‘“Mostly” being the key word.’

Ann had been waiting for the timer to go off when suddenly, arms wrapped around her from behind. Ren had rested his chin on her shoulder, making her heart skip a beat.

“Ren?”

“Let me stay like this for a while.” His voice was soft against her ear, and maybe it was the slight tremble she had noticed that made her give in. She’d covered his hand with her own.

“It’ll only be a year,” she’d said. His arms had tightened. “And we have phones. And internet.”

“Are you saying you won’t miss me?”

“Stupid.” A quiet thing, accompanied by a breathy chuckle. Her breath caught in her throat. “Of course I’ll miss you.”

They had stayed like that until the timer went off in a sudden blaring noise. Ann jumped, jerking Ren back a step. Her shoulder knocked his chin.

Between his hiss of pain and Ann’s hasty apology, Ann had turned around in an attempt to check on him. But her elbow bumped against the boiling siphon, and it swayed, then tumbled, but before it could crash, Ren’s hand had shot out and grabbed the handle. Coffee had splashed across the counter and the back of Ren’s fingers burned from grazing the bottom beaker. They’d rushed him to the sink and poured cold tap water over it.

‘You were getting touchy-feely when the coffee was still brewing,’ Ann went on.

‘And you didn’t?’

She had. It had been her precious last month with Ren before he returned to his hometown. Who wouldn’t have gotten sentimental? She could almost hear his laughter. Ann smiled.

‘Anyway, what does that have anything to do with our conversation?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Jerk.’ Ann laughed.

‘Let’s go there sometime,’ came his reply. ‘Together.’

Together. Ann fought hard to keep her smile at bay as she typed in her reply. ‘Let’s.’

Ren had to go, so they bid each other goodbye. Ann stared at her phone screen, exhaling a quiet, contented sigh. It had been a while since their last date. With college and part-time jobs, their quality time had been reduced to movie nights or dinners at her home or his apartment.

Ann couldn’t stop smiling as she sipped her cold blended drink, eyes fluttering upward toward the siphons on the counter. The barista was now brewing coffee to a small group of spectators. Ooh’s and ahh’s erupted from them, and for a moment, she was back in Leblanc, sitting at that counter, watching Ren work the coffee siphons. Her smile grew. It had always been a captivating thing to watch.

~ END ~

#ann takamaki #ren amamiya #shuann #persona 5 #persona #fanfiction #persona fanfic #p5 fanfic #annweek2020

20 notes · View notes

bubmyg · 4 years

Text

try three times - myg

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre/warnings: lawyer!au, established relationship, fluff, angst (with a happy ending!!), the introduction of seokjin’s character, nonchronological with my other lawyer!yoongi drabbles (linked on my masterlist!)

word count: 4,027

summary: yoongi doesn’t want to admit that seokjin knows what he’s doing or the one about three different weddings and where he proposes (kind of) while smelling like fish.

It’s easy to be in a room full of people and feel as though you’re the only one that doesn’t have their shit together.

For example, the banquet hall was filled with twenty-somethings who had probably ate ramen out of peculiar objects more than they had with proper cutlery in the past six months, but you couldn’t tell it at first glance. The twenty-somethings tucked into tightly collared shirts and lace hemmed dresses mixed among actual adults, family and friends of the wedding party becoming one moving machine, sipping alcohol and munching on weirdly shaped cheese poked onto the end of toothpicks.

Yoongi’s conscious didn’t have the heart to remind him that no one has a clue what the hell they’re doing, too overcome with the way he was clutching his champagne glass and trying to figure out an equation in his head for the amount of time spent at a friend’s wedding versus how many people you were supposed to interact with for it to be considered acceptable.

This is Seungcheol’s fault, his conscious instead convinced him, eyes narrowing on the aforementioned groom as he gripped a tight hand with a brand new diamond band strapped on one finger around his bride’s waist. Of anyone in the room, the bride and groom seemed to have their shit together. Seungcheol was graduating a semester early. They’d just moved into an apartment together. His wife had recently gotten a full time position with her summer internship.

Yoongi, on the other hand, had just switched his major, twice, only to end back up in what he originally started in. He would be a semester behind on credits because of it. He’d spent a strange three months in a fraternity. Law school entrance exam textbooks occupied every square inch of his desk. His shortlist of schools had only been narrowed to ten. He hadn’t touched his personal statement since high school.

And then there was you, a year old addition in his life that seemed to fill in all the puzzle pieces of things he wasn’t. He glanced at your empty chair to remind himself that you’d disappeared twenty minutes ago to get more to drink and to grab him a slice of cake, only to be held up in three separate conversations. He’d made it to get more champagne in less than thirty seconds.

He gulped at the sparkling liquid in his glass to feel it bubble in the pit of his stomach.

A paper plate appeared in his peripheral, something white with pink and gold chevrons racing down the center of it, geometric patterns cut off by the slap of white cake resting on the center of it. There was a plastic fork curling out of the treat, fingers gripped on the end of it as the utensil tore off a sizable chunk and lifted into the air.

“Mingyu cut the piece for me,” You muffled through the bite you plopped on your tongue, handing him back the fork to plop back into your chair, “Told him it was for you and he gave you a deluxe piece.”

Yoongi hummed, absently replacing your grip on the fork. He drug one pointed prong through a small blotch of icing that had fallen away from the cake. “I’ll have to tell him thank you later…”

“I told Jihoon to mix up the playlist a little bit.”

You were referencing the auburn headed audio engineer major who was hidden behind an array of open laptops and a giant headset at the front of the reception hall. Yoongi had a feeling he knew what you meant, but he glanced at you from the corner of his eyes anyway. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” You leaned forward in your chair, nudging Yoongi with a soft grin, “I wore closed toed shoes for a reason. Need some non-toe breaking slow dances with my man.”

“Nice try, but I don’t think you’re going to get Jihoon to leave his equipment all alone, especially not with a drunk Soonyoung lurking around—”

You giggled a little bit but there was a sizable amount of offense held in the downturn of your eyebrows as you caught the apex of Yoongi’s elbow and tugged. When he glanced at you, cheeks full of cake, you shook your head, “I meant you, nerd. I want to dance with you.”

Yoongi paused in the next bite of cake he was cutting, blinking at your intense gaze. Something inside him panicked even if his outside demeanor remained calm. The mix of emotions within him clearly rained confusion in you, especially when he cleared his throat and went to set his plate aside.

“You know, I have to take that practice exam tomorrow morning. Jin is supposed to drive with me and I don’t want to, you know, hold him up or anything,” He averted his gaze the more hurt yours grew. He wrung his fingers together in his lap, uncrossing his legs to lean forward, still avoiding your eyes, “I was thinking we leave here in a second, if that’s okay?”

“Sure,” Yoongi heard it in your voice. He didn’t need to look up. After a moment, he saw you stand, dress fluttering past your knees in his peripheral, “Are you done with your cake?”

His eyes closed, knowing he couldn’t salvage your feelings by changing his mind, sucking it up, and asking you for a dance. Without a word, he nodded.

You disappeared with the plate in hand just as the first slow song of the night began to play.

“You have to work,” He told the string of fairy lights currently suspended by a few stick on hooks. Deft fingers continued to fumble at the battery packs, turning the batteries inside a second time, forcing the lids shut, nail curling into the on and off switch. Nothing.

Frustration made the battery pack, the heaviest part of the entire device, slip from his grasp, tumbling to the mountain of pillows pressed against your headboard and effectively yanking all his hard work with the lights from the wall. All that was left was a sad wooden shadow of your initials, nailed into the apartment walls. With no lights.

Yoongi had spent the greater part of the day decorating. The extensive list on your planner in the tiny kitchen said you wouldn’t be home until after dinner and he’d been determined to get something done.

It’d only been a few weeks since you’d moved into your first place together, just a week since he’d started his first required internship of law school and just a day since your classes had returned. Thus, plastic coverings still sat taped to the television and the window of the microwave and the pull on the blinds. Unpacked boxes made a mountain where there was supposed to be a dining table, an item you didn’t have nor could you afford.

But Yoongi could afford his day off to dig through the boxes to find all your favorite trinkets (picture frames, fairy lights, candles, the tiny porcelain cat you’d bought him as a joke) and arrange them accordingly. He’d finally set up the printer in the room you’d designated the office just to print off some of your favorite pictures together, losing a few nails along the process but managing to stuff the pictures into frames and scatter them along the walls.

The pair of your initials next to each other had been his own touch, a quick trip into a craft store where he felt rather underwhelmed by the selection and overwhelmed by the price he’d covered with his debit card. He’d hung them above the bed, center on the wall and the headboard, the dark wood matching the navy pillows you’d stacked to give, as you’d said, some sense of put togetherness.

A thought had entered his mind when he was shuffling through the options in the middle of the craft store. It would be so much easier if we shared initials. Just one giant M in the middle of the room…

He’d shied away from that thought when he finally located the curve of your surname.

Yoongi mounted the bed with a wheeze from both his lungs and the worn mattress springs, effectively ruining the decorative pillow mountain as he dug for the string of fairy lights. A similar strung together list of curse words left his lips as he pried at the battery pack again, the flower shaped lights dancing against his short clad legs until there was a gentle knocking on the bedroom door and he dropped them again.

“Bubs?” You took one step into the room before pausing, aweing around the space. There was a glint in your irises, one he could see from his compromising position, “What are you doing?”

“Can’t get your fairy lights to work,” Yoongi offered shyly, pink creeping to the back of his neck. “I think they’re the ones that were in your dorm, but—”

“If you used the batteries that were already in them, that’s why. They’re like three years old,” The mattress swayed as you clambered on to stand next to him, touching his hand where it had curled around his neck. You laced your fingers together, letting your arms dangle between each other as you again did a sweep of the room. “You did all this?”

An embarrassed sound of affirmation left Yoongi’s throat, watching you carefully. He nearly stumbled into the wall and his carefully hung lettering when you looped your arms around his neck, holding him tightly.

“Thank you,” You murmured, kissing his throat.

Yoongi was hesitant in the way he fit his arms around you, subconsciously leaning into your touch.

Just as soft, he nodded, “I’m trying…”

No amount of wine seemed to moisten his tongue where it was stuck to the roof of his mouth.

You were effortlessly gorgeous, as always, wrapped up in some emerald sequins number and a devastating smile that made his heart hurt worse than he could ever properly articulate. Yoongi’s cheeks hurt from introducing you, always coming with a shy yet wide smile when his classmate in question made some sort of playfully snide comment about how you were far too beautiful for him.

At Seokjin’s wedding, it was a bit easier to feel less overwhelmed. Yoongi didn’t know everyone, but he knew a lot of people. Despite Seokjin’s career path not exactly diverging to where Yoongi’s seemed to be going, they were still classmates and thus still shared a lot of the same acquatences, professors, advisors, coworkers. He knew what he was doing for the foreseeable future. He’d recently passed the certification exam, marking him as someone who could now, legally, practice law. He had a job waiting and available for him, one while not exactly ideal would suffice to get his foot in the door and his rent paid for the next few months.

Yoongi knew you’d be there, too, in his future. Even if his tongue dried every time he thought of how.

Except he didn’t have to ponder the never ending question of rings and proposals and weddings while attending a wedding. He just had to figure out how to ask you to dance. He’d never forgiven himself for hurting your feelings at Seungcheol’s wedding.

It was you that was trailing him the entire evening, him being the connection between most of the people at the reception and yourself. You were the stranger this time, not each of you mutually connected to the guests at the wedding. Yet, it didn’t stop you from becoming fast friends with Yoongi’s classmates and professional connections alike, dragging each of you into twenty minute long conversations about the state of nonprofit litigation and the staggering rate of black cats put down by animal shelters.

Breaks between people gave Yoongi the opportunity to wet his tongue with a splash of sacchrine wine, poke his tongue around the tulip shape of his lips, and attempt to ask, no matter the music playing through the loud speakers overhead, only to be interrupted again. And again.

And again.

Yoongi thought you were free by the time you’d nearly circled back around to your table where Taehyung and Namjooon were engaged in some sort of debate that involved the plastic knives from their baked chicken. He stopped you before you could sit, dragging crooked fingertips down the inside of your wrist to lace into your fingers and tug.

The muscle felt heavy inside his mouth and he couldn’t bring himself to hold your eye contact as his heart hammered wildly inside his chest, reminding him suddenly of all the things. Nearly five years together. Two apartments together. Both of your names on the car lease.

“Yoongi,” Your thumb swiped over his knuckles, immediately calming the roar of blood in his ears. A frown had slowly worked into the creases on either side of your lips, and you tugged back on his hand. “Is everything okay?”

He was a half second away from blurting out his impulse request, not caring about the nagging part of his subconscious that noted your open toed shoe choice for the evening when your grip was falling away from his.

“Sorry, Yoongi!” Seokjin cheered as he spun a drunk circle in the opposite direction with you curled tightly in his embrace, “I have to steal a dance from your girlfriend.”

Yoongi watched as happiness easily overtook your features, clinging to Seokjin’s shoulders as you threw your head back at whatever rambles were leaving from his friend’s stupor.

“Just wanted to know if you wanted to dance,” Yoongi murmured to himself, letting his arm fall limp to his side, “I hate myself for hurting your feelings every day that I can’t get my shit together and just—”

“Yoongi,” It was Namjoon saying his name, waving around his plastic knife. “You okay?”

Taehyung ignored the obvious discomfort on his friend’s features as he approached the table with dragging steps, still muttering to himself.

“What do you think about sporks?”

“Where are you going?”

The droopy bucket hat in Yoongi’s grip crumpled more, keys still clinking together where they dangled from his free hand. He turned cheek to shoulder where you stood in the threshold with your arms crossed.

“Fishing with Jin,” He lamented, “I told you that a week ago.”

“A week ago we didn’t have a closet full of laundry to do. Or a sink full of dishes to get done.”

You bristled at his involtunary check of his watch. “It’s only seven in the morning. We have all day to get those things done. I’ll help you when I get back…”

“I have to have our loan papers into the bank by tomorrow morning. Are we going to finish those too when you get back?”

“Yes,” Yoongi said simply, “There isn’t that much left to do on them.”

“For yours there isn’t. You’re the primary signee. I have virtually the entire packet left to complete,” After a second of staring angrily at him, you shook your head, “You know what, I’ll just do it all while you’re gone. Have fun.”

He knew you weren’t upset about a packet of questions you had to complete in order to approve you as a secondary individual on the loan for the house you two were planning on purchasing. You were upset about having to fill out an entirely different set of paperwork based on your relationship status. You’d voiced it tightly while handing him a second pen the night before when the ink in his had ran out.

“This would be so much easier if we were married,” You’d tried to smile when his gaze flicked up to yours but he caught it anyway. He was hurting your feelings. Again. Not because of the paperwork. Because of what the paperwork implied.

Because of the contents of the tiny velvet box that had been shoved into the front pouch of his laptop bag for the better part of six months, idle, without a finger to reside on.

The shut of the door behind him was just as soft as his pained, “Bye…”

Yoongi, numbly, let the reel release, watching the reflection of the blue tinted line as it soared into the water, landing yards away from him with a soft plop. He set the reel in his hands, gently turning as he watched the end of the line where it disappeared into the lake create tiny ripples as it slowly came back toward where he stood on the shore.

“How did you know?” Yoongi blurted suddenly.

Seokjin didn’t miss a beat, “Well, generally, the fish is big enough that you can feel it tug back on the line. You have to set the hook so it doesn’t get off but don’t let it swallow it because that’s not good and—”

“No,” Yoongi stopped spinning the reel to drop his pole into the stick made stand he’d pushed into the mud on the bank. Both his fingers went to his face, dragging down on his cheeks. “How...how did you know when it was right to propose?”

“Ohh,” Seokjin stayed silent when he cast his pole again, clicking gentle as he turned the tiny device. “That’s what this is about. Has she said something?”

“No. She doesn’t have to. I can just tell.”

“Is marriage something you’ve talked about?”

“Yes.”

“Is it something you both want.”

“Yeah…”

“Do you love her?”

Yoongi’s hands fell away from his face and his features screwed up starting from his nose and ending at the part of his mouth where he, almost offended, affirmed, “More than anything else.”

“Then what’s stopping you? You could elope tonight, if you want,” Seokjin eyed Yoongi as he brought in an empty hook, letting it dangle from a second in mid air before tossing it back out into the water, “We’ll be your witnesses or whatever—”

“I’m scared.” Seokjin stopped talking upon Yoongi’s blunt statement, quietly turning away at his reel until Yoongi continued, floodgates now let loose, “I can’t hurt her feelings like I continue to, but what if it’s worse when we get married. There’s never been anyone else and there won’t be anyone else. I have no fucking clue what I’m doing because of it.”

“You’re a lovesick fool,” Seokjin confirmed, “Hey, your pole is jiggling and as much as your my friend and whatever, I’d rather not lose it, so—”

Yoongi begrudgingly picked up the pole where it was bouncing around in the makeshift twig holder, slow at first in turning at the handle but releazing whatever was on the other end was going to need more effort from him. He grunted into the next few turns, “I can’t even fish right.”

“You never could. You waste my bait everytime we go out,” Seokjin shrugged, “But you try. And I love you, in like, a brotherly way. That’s all I care about when I ask you to come along with me.”

“Is this your weird analogy to tell me that I won’t know until we try and that love is all that matters in the end?” Yoongi stumbled in trying to tug back on whatever the massive object was he was bringing in.

“No,” Seokjin sat aside his pole, striding across the bank to slide the pole from Yoongi’s grasp. “I’m telling you to go propose to your soon to be wife while I get this moss off.”

“How do you know it’s moss and not a record breaking catfish?”

“It’s moss. Go.”

Yoongi found you curled up on the couch surrounded by half folded laundry, your eyes clearly lined in the slightest tints of pink and red, the loan application half open on the floor. He wasted no time, not wanting to hear your garbled inquiries as to whether he’d had fun or not because frankly, with how you were at the moment, he didn’t deserve to have had fun.

“I’m not giving you this, yet.”

Your attempt at a friendly expression morphed into a confused squint. “What?”

He dug the box from his sweatpants pocket, flicking it open to show you a glimpse of the glittering jewelry inside. “I’m not giving you this, yet,” He repeated. He approached you, knocking aside a stack of his hoodies to kneel in front of you, hand engulfing your knees while the latter placed the ring box on your thigh, “but I’m going to. Soon.”

You laughed in spite of yourself, gentle at first and then bitter on the end, “I’m not upset because you haven’t proposed to me yet, Yoongi. I don’t like the implications of that.”

“I know I’m hurting your feelings. All the time,” He lifted a finger when you went to protest, “You don’t have to spare my feelings, of all things.”

“I try really, really hard for you. All the time. But that’s not a guilt trip, I know I need to do better. I’m trying right now, to give you a glimpse of what I should have done a long time ago.”

“I know that,” He let you interrupt him this time as the tiniest of tears lipped down the slope of your nose, “I’ve never doubted that. I just thought you’d changed your mind.”

Yoongi wanted you to vocalize your feelings, so he squeezed your knee and offered, “Changed my mind about what, love?”

“About us. Our future,” You shrugged, casting your gaze aside, “Not that marriage is the end all be all or that it’s just a title that helps with some tax information it’s just...”

“What you want for us,” Yoongi nodded, “It’s what I want too. I haven’t changed my mind.”

“I didn’t really think you had it’s just...hard to not let myself think those things sometimes.”

“I’m sorry I ever made you doubt any sort of commitment I want to have in our relationship,” Yoongi leaned forward to chastely kiss away the droplets of tears clinging to the pouted round of your bottom lip. “I’m sorry I haven’t been trying hard enough for this, either.”

“I love you,” You cupped his cheeks, keeping his lips a fraction from yours.

“I can’t wait to propose to you,” He countered.

“And I can’t wait to say yes.”

Yoongi didn’t hear the words the DJ was projecting through speakers stationed at all corners of the reception hall. He was too focused on the swirl of lights on the dance floor, ones that had dimmed into a glittery gold and ceased to move in the calculated circles they’d previously been completing. The back part of his mind wondered did we pick that color? Gold matches pink...and then he glanced at the baby pink bow tie clipped onto his collar, one he subconsciously straightened as the DJ continued to chatter on.

He contemplated the color of the lights and the flavor of the cake icing and the extensive guest list in which half hadn’t RSVP’ed for the reception but now milled among everyone else and kept taking him away from you to chat. It was silent now, no one around him except others members of the wedding party around him, and he didn’t have to contemplate whether to seek someone out for conversation or search his subconscious for the name of your cousins’ significant other. He knew his next move, bending at the waist in front of the high backed chair you perched in and holding out a gentle palm for you even as the DJ continued to chatter over the soft applause of the guests.

“Hey,” Yoongi murmured.

You smiled under the gold lights as they cast shadows down the contours of your features, “Hi.”

“I like your ring,” His fingers crooked when you placed your hand in his to fiddle at the diamond studded band.

“I like your last name,” You squeezed his hand.

Yoongi’s lips covered your fingers, gentle in pecking each one, spending extra time on the one where diamonds reflected in the gold.

His voice muffled on the bend of your digits. “May I have this dance?”

You stood at that, gripping his fingers tightly.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #fic: lawyer yoongi

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bangtanoneshotsx · 4 years

Text

Debate-Seokjin

The air was crisp, the leaves crunching underneath your feet as you made your way to class. Your bag was heavy on your shoulder, your feet cold as you decided against wearing boots. Entering the building through the nearest door, you quickly found the classroom, finding a wall to lean against while you texted Jin. The boy would be late. He always was. While you got up early to make sure you could find a seat, Jin would always slip in at the last minute counting on there being an empty seat beside you. And there always was.

Today was unusual though. As a class left the lecture theatre, your class slowly making their way in, you heard someone shout your name. Turning in the direction of the voice, you found Jin running in your direction, two cups of coffee in his hands. With a grin, he stopped just in front of you, passing you a cup.

“Thought you’d be late.” He hummed, taking a sip of his coffee before talking.

“Line was shorter than usual.” You yawned, letting him enter first before quickly finding your place beside him again.

“Must be field trip time.” The first-year students always had a ‘great adventure’ their first year, under the pretense of education, the students often found their way to make it just another way to get drunk.

The lecturer entered, her own coffee in hand, and a pile of files tucked under her arms.

“Morning class. As talked about previously last week, I’ll be splitting you into pairs, one of you will be for, and one will argue against.” You gave a small sigh, resting your head on your hand as Jin groaned. It was your debate class, the one subject you hated due to the amount of public speaking. Jin, however, loved it, he threw himself into any role he was given, no matter what side he actually agreed with. This time, the topic was relevant, with the end of year ball only a month away. The question was ‘Are Social Balls really worth it, or do the movies romanticize it?’ This was one you didn’t mind arguing about. Your high school prom wasn’t one you were particularly fond of. Your best friend had had a massive crush on one of the more popular boys. She was full of glee as he asked her, making a big deal in the cafeteria, his smile seeming genuine. You were happy for her, excited for the dance. That was until she called you on the night, saying he had stood her up. Instantly, you had left the dance, catching a taxi to her house. You spent the rest of the night with your heartbroken friend, watching ‘The Notebook.’

You watched as the lecturer brought up the group list on the board, a collection of reactions emitting from the class. Squinting your eyes, you tried to peer at the small names, trying to find yours. Yours sat under Against, whiles Jin’s was under For. You gave a laugh as Jin held out his hand to you, a teasing smile on his lips.

“Good luck, and may the best man win.” You grinned, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Oh, she will.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Books covered the single long desk you occupied, your laptop balancing on the edge, plugged into the wall. You had a notebook in front of you, your messy handwriting scrawled over the two pages. While you had your own opinion on the topic, you were currently researching for any figures to add to your argument.

“You know that’s pointless, right?” Jin chuckled, placing another takeaway cup full of coffee beside you. Sticking out your tongue slightly, you quickly turned back to face your laptop after thanking him.

“Let me guess, you’ve already gathered all your material.”

“Yep.”

“And what lecture did you miss?”

“Gender studies,” Jin muttered, shoving you slightly as you laughed, shaking your head. At Jin’s loud noise of protest, you could see a couple other students lift their head, their eyes narrowed, the librarian shushing you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

You had met Jin in your first year of university. You weren’t sure how you didn’t notice him straight away, but the truth was, you were too busy trying to grab the back corner seat to really notice anyone. It wasn’t until the seat next to you was the only one left that you met Jin, watching as he stumbled into the lecture, nodding his head in apology to the lecturer who had briefly stopped talking.

“I don’t think she likes you.” You whispered to him, not knowing where the sudden burst of confidence came from. Jin gave a sheepish smile, shrugging his shoulders.

“I think it’s because she’s never seen me arrive on time.” From that moment, you found yourself coming out of the corner seat, always leaving a space for the boy who would arrive late, no matter what time the lecture was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A steaming bowl of ramen sat in front of you, your chopsticks already resting against the side of the bowl as you took a break. Your tongue burning, you tried to cool it with your coke. Jin only laughed at your wide eyes, slight panic in them. Subtly, you raised a middle finger, a smile gracing your lips as you received one back.

“So how is this semester going for you anyway?” You asked, you only saw him for one class that happened twice a week. You tried to meet up every couple of days for lunch, but sometimes both of your schedules didn’t allow it. This was one of the rare times they did.

“It’s okay, Namjoon’s doing a project with me, so he’s starting that while I focus on winning this debate.”

“You mean, loosing.” An unknown emotion flashed in Jin’s eyes as he grinned at you, his head shaking slightly.

“Sure, when I lose.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your hands were shaking as you held your cue cards. The small rectangles of pink card held all your arguments, all the facts that would hopefully stop you from becoming too emotional. Jin stood behind the other wooden podium on the right side of the front of the room.

“Whenever you’re ready guys.” The lecturer announced, quietening down the rest of the students. With a broken breath, you started, your voice shaking slightly.

“The media sets up unrealistic expectations for any social event, especially things like dances. Prom is a good example of this, many high school students can’t wait until their last year, to dress up and slow dance with their crush. However, their dreams are crushed when they realize this isn’t reality. The university just now is doing the same thing. With all of the hype around dresses and drinks, and who’s going with who. People tend to forget what it’s really going to be like. No one finds love at the ball, no one socializes outside of their already established social groups. It’s only an excuse for students to get drunk after a year of stress.” You weren’t quite sure what the emotion on Jin’s face was. His eyebrows were furrowed, though he wore a small, sad smile.

“I actually disagree with everything Y/N has said. It is no secret that movies exaggerate everything to do with high school. If you truly believed that what you saw in the latest chick flick was real, you’d have to believe those 26-year-olds were teenagers.” You could hear a couple of chuckles, mainly from the lecturer as she scribbled something down. “Social balls give you the chance to have the courage to ask someone out. When you ask someone out in everyday life, there’s a pressure to plan the date, to talk to them, to know how to keep the conversation. With a social ball, all of that goes away, you can dance, you can test the chemistry without any pressure.” Jin took a deep breath, his hands shaking as his voice got quieter. “I, for example, met my first love at university. I’ve been in love for her for two years, ever since I sat next to her for the first time at the back of a lecture hall. I would love to gather the courage to ask her. And it’s those moments that the society ball provides. Those small moments of hope that we students need in a time of exam prep and assignments.” Your eyes were wide, your mouth slightly open as you noticed Jin’s cheeks and ears were now flushed red. How did you not know any of that about him? Who was this mysterious girl he was so caught up on? Thinking about it made your heart ache.

After a couple questions, you and Jin sat down back at your seats. For the rest of the lecture, Jin avoided you, his cheeks still burning.

“Jin!” You shouted after him as he ran out of the classroom, his backpack barely on his shoulder. “Jin wait! Please!” At the desperation in your voice, he stopped, slowly turning.

“Is what you said about your first love true?”

“It is.” He muttered, his eyes on the floor as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“So why don’t you ask her to the ball?”

“She doesn’t like them.” At that small confession, your heart seemed to stop. Your sudden silence made Jin look up, his bottom lip in between his teeth.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have said anything. But it’s just... I was planning on asking you, but then hearing your stance on the dance. I don’t know, maybe I could change your mind. I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way. I’m sorry if I ruined this friendship. I’m so...” Jin was cut off by your lips softly pressed against his. Drawing back, you gave a shy smile, your own cheeks covered in red.

“I like you too.” You hesitated, your heart beating fast. “I wouldn’t mind the ball if it was with you.”

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softestsaddestbitch · 3 years

Text

December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him - so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was.

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me.

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there.

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

#personal #professor crush #professor crush community #teacher crush #monthly challenge #december

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dreamsafterhours · 4 years

Text

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: III (mark’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff pairings: mark+my/n (fem), donghyuk+dy/n (fem), platonic!mark+dy/n, platonic!donghyuk+my/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college bf warning: some swearing

masterlist

or click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!

II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV

III: 별빛이 내린다 샤라랄라랄라라 (2+2=4)

the meeting of two souls: mark & my/n

hi hello good day how are you? i hope you're well today/tonight this is like 3 weeks late isn't it :D pls don't come after me i lost some motivation to write for a while but here i am now so let's get to it!!

aight so you met donghyuk's roommate for the first time yesterday and,,

you honestly had NO IDEA someone could be that cute

highkey regretting not asking for his name but you were so caught up in lingering on the fact that he implied you were pretty , like wHO DOES THAT ASDFKJL

you highkey shouted the verbal equivalent of a keyboard smash with ur roommate and she was all !! oh so this guy cute cute

you were contemplating whether or not to sneakily ask donghyuk for his name but you were worried bc hyuk has,, crazy sense when it comes to reading people and seeing through their words

and honestly you didn’t want to have to deal with hyuk potentially teasing the shit out of u for having a maybe crush on his roommate whom u’d just met

so you just beat your pillow sleep on it after your roommate reminds you it’s getting late and no life decisions should be made after 12am!! live by it

you wake up craving jjajangmyeon but alas if you were to get any satisfaction of that kind of hunger, it was going to have to wait because

~~ we love ~~ packed schedules ~~ in this house ~~

i hopes the sarcasm was noted in that previous sentence bc now u wish for life to cease

4 weeks into the semester and you were drowning in the midst of reports and lab pracs and content and revision

you were ready to ascend to the next life with only regret and an ability to vaguely explain the properties of a prokaryotic cell and endosymbiosis

but honestly donghyuk’s been a big help throughout the past month

your only friend in classes

official study buddy

2am revision session consultant

personal older brother bc he claimed you as his adoptive sister

another reason your roommate told you to go to bed was bc you literally have

a tutorial class + 2 consecutive 1.5 hour lectures + a 3 hour lab class to finish your day off

with no break for lunch in between :’((

looks like you’ll be starving through your library study session with dy/n

but oop

you find that dy/n had stayed up long after you’d fallen asleep writing her essay

leaving your dorm feeling a twinge of guilt that u might have distracted her from focusing on her work to listen to your rambles and kept her up later than she should have been

but a text from her in the afternoon reassures u that honestly she wasn’t even planning to write that essay and The Feels™ had just hit her last night and that she made it to class

you: oh PHEW that’s good

you: sorry i didn’t wake you up on my way out, u looked so peaceful i couldn’t bear to disturb

dy/n 🦁: dw dw it’s all g i made it n e way

dy/n 🦁: also is it cool if my friend and his friend comes to the study sesh as well we have to go through some lecture content

you: ah yes don’t see why not :)) i’ll probs have my earphones in the entire time anyways lmao won’t affect me

but will it

“who u texting in the middle of diffusion” cue hyuk peering over at the phone you’re hiding in your lap

you click your tongue at him and lock your phone, “someone twice the man you’ll ever be”

he gasps in mock horror like he’d just witnessed a murder as quietly as he can ,,

“you’re texting a guy? in the middle of diffusion?”

“no. my roommate lmao”

“and what? is it me or your roomma—”

“—my roommate” you glance back up at the prof without looking at him

“ouch”

“you dare?”

“if i don’t dare, who will”

and due to this exchange, you miss the osmosis slide

“ah shit what was osmosis again”

“lmfao what makes u think i know that”

(pause)

“isn't it just.. net movement of free water molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration”

sorry my bio neural pathways are being excited again after being revisited for the first time in two years

/stares at him/ “why was that infuriating to hear from u”

after class you prepare to head to your dreaded 3-hour lab class you have with donghyuk but he stands up and stares into the void blankly

“where am i going”

“where do u think”

“oh, hell, most likely”

you scoff at the accuracy and drag him out of the lecture hall

you look at donghyuk and he’s visibly resisting the urge to poke your cheek when he first puts on his gloves

“what’s with you today”

he stares at his hands forlornly, “idk ask that to my timetable”

“week 4 got u dead huh”

he glances at you with a frown, “don’t act like u’re not dying too”

“damn. touché”

to your dismay, the lab class runs later than scheduled and you get out of it 20 minutes after it was meant to finish but luckily it’s your last class

with a quick goodbye to donghyuk and a text letting dy/n know you were going to be a lil late, u stop by ur dorm to pick up ur textbook before rushing to the library

you were highkey exhausted and just. famished by that point

but a promise is a promise and you weren’t going to back out of one now

especially when you felt like you owed your roommate one and it was you who originally suggested a library session

so you get to the library, bag strap slung over your shoulder, checking the photo of the seats dy/n had saved for you in the library

highkey getting lost once or twice but you manage

you get to the general area and spot dy/n sitting at a four-seater (wow how’d they get that) but you

freeze when you see who’s sitting next to her

it’s ??

????????

????????????????

/error 404/

????????????????

????????

ur heart goes into panic mode bc

it’s not even kidding it’s donghyuk’s roommate

and despite ur brain short-circuiting

you manage to remember that dy/n had said that mentioned her friend’s.. roommate.. also coming along..

and if her friend was donghyuk’s.. roommate..

you: : )

you: oh my god they were roommates

and speak of the devil

“oh hey fancy seeing u here”

you turn around and it’s donghyuk legit chills right there

you barely reply a “hi”

“i thought u were going to ur dorm for dinner”

“ah yeah—no i’m.. gonna go over some.. diffusion”

“oii! over here dude” his roommate whisper-yells out at donghyuk

dy/n waves at you “heYY my/n”

donghyuk waves and turns back to you “welp i’m gonna join a study group.. you could join if you came alone? i’m sure they won’t mind”

“about that”

“u waiting for someone?”

“i’m going over there too”

“what?”

he glances over at the table and then back to you

“that’s my roommate. right there next to your roommate”

you point her out and then donghyuk’s jaw drops

“what the fUC—” and you both. burst iinto laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation

like ?? how???

“wOW r u KIDDING”

“HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN”

“talk about a coincidence.. oh my god my cheekbones hurt” he says as he clutches his side

so you get to the table and dy/n tries to introduce u to donghyuk’s roommate

“mark, this is my/n, my/n this is mark”

ah yes so mark is his name, you think

cute name for a cute boi

“nice to meet you again, mark”

dy/n: “?? again?”

mark gives u a rlly wide smile “yeah we’ve met. hi my/n”

you swear you’ve never had your heart flutter like this

fdksoafjadgioarigilf

then mark introduces dy/n to donghyuk and they start talking about how they’re your legal guardian and telling the other to “get in line”

leaving you in middle like “ok mum and dad” but also thinking back to when donghyuk was highkey flirting with you,, and now how he’s flirting with dy/n ,, oh dude he’s flirting

and highkey ,,, you don’t have any hard feelings about it ,, you know she’s also got this kind of humour code and she’s far more comfortable with meeting new people

until dy/n jokes about custody rules and donghyuk replies with “who says we’re split”

ok mum and dad

n e ways you came to study and study you will

so you settle down and go through your notes for the day

albeit being a lil distracted by mark who sits right across from you somehow, somewhy,,

somewhy should be a word you can’t tell me how to english

you keep wanting to steal glances at him but you have to physically restrain yourself from doing so

and also donghyuk who keeps poking u under the table and texting u even though he’s right next to you

💩hyuk: bro

you: wHAT

💩hyuk: nvm lol

you: im boutta slap u. give me my pen back i saw that

💩hyuk: damn

💩hyuk: also r u hungry

you: terribly

you: why

💩hyuk: does ur roommate have any allergies

you: not that i know of

you: again

you: why

you: u buyin?

💩hyuk: 🤡<- you

💩hyuk: 🤡, how do you feel about dinner

you: invalid question. no variable answer

💩hyuk: alright, 🤡. im not buying for u

you glower at him but he isn’t looking at u,, he leans back and laments about how he’s craving chinese food

did he read your damn mind how did he know

and apparently he’s read dy/n’s mind too at how she jumps up at the mention of chinese and agrees profusely

so you find yourself abandoning your studies for the rest of the night and in a restaurant lmfao

“chill,, guys,,, jjajang is fine”

rock paper scissors for the cheque ends in mark’s tears

“no it’s ok. i’m ok it’s our first meeting as a fateful group and it makes sense! for me to pay”

after you satisfy your cravings the boys walk dy/n and you back to your dorm

mark tells dy/n to give him her bag for him to carry and while she practically gives it up to him, he has to insist that he’ll carry yours too

to which you’re like omg no it’s fine i can carry it it’s not that heavy i swear—

until donghyuk takes ur bag off ur shoulder and passes it to mark

because of the narrow path, you’re forced to walk in pairs and you end up walking next to donghyuk who makes happy sounds about how good that food was and how priceless mark’s face was when he lost rock paper scissors

then dy/n takes the initiative to make a group chat for you four,, asking for donghyuk’s number to add

you give her a look like damn gurl but you have no idea if she saw or if she just ignored you on purpose lmfao

also donghyuk looked way too happy afterwards

either way you slapped her when you got back to the dorm like “SINCE WHEN WERE YOU SO ?? BRAVE?”

dy/n: um

dy/n: honey

dy/n: have you met me

and thus the chaos of a group chat was born and just like a real child, you spent hours on it

dy/n 🦁: ok we inside

you: thanks for dinner again mark!

💩hyuk: he says you’re welcome

💩hyuk: i say we “accidentally” lose our purses next time we go out

you: nah you’re paying next

💩hyuk: y

💩hyuk: y, 🤡

dy/n 🦁: yes y, 🤡

dy/n 🦁: HAHAH WHY IS SHE 🤡

💩hyuk: i thought you of all people would know

dy/n 🦁: why is she just as dumb in class as she is in the dorm?

💩hyuk: i knew it

dy/n 🦁: she poured too much hot water into her tea the other day it overflowed and spilt onto her foot

mark: oh no were u okay

💩hyuk: looks like you’re gonna have to study osomsis

💩hyuk: osmoiss

💩hyuk: fuck

you: yes i’m okay it wasn’t that hot i had socks on too

💩hyuk: osmosis

dy/n 🦁: avoided tragedy luckily

💩hyuk: finally

you: there is a reason you’re saved as 💩hyuk on my phone

dy/n 🦁: HAAHAHAHAHHAHAH

seriously you just don’t know just how much this group was going to mean to you yet

click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!

II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV

shoot me an ask if you’d like to be tagged in future parts!

#dreamwritersnet #kwritersworldnet #neowriters #nct au #nct 127 au #nct dream au #markhyuck #markhyuck au #markhyuck x reader #mark x reader #haechan x reader #donghyuck x reader #mark au #haechan au #donghyuck au #nct college #nct college au #eng lit mark #paediatrics haechan

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fanfiction4thesoul · 5 years

Text

In a Moment

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Word Count: ~2.7

Warnings: Fluff and swearing (I think - can’t quite remember), also really cheesy

Summary: Soulmate AU where when you meet the eyes of your soulmate, you relive their entire life and see a few scenes from your future together.

A/N: So I wrote this probably in the span of a few hours but over the course of like 3 weeks so please excuse any grammar mistakes. This semester has been killing me so I don’t have as much time as I would like. Anyway, I’ve always been a big fan of soulmate au’s of any kind, so I thought I’d take a stab at an unconventional one. I don’t know if I’ll write another part to this or not. I’m also contemplating doing a whole series of just different soulmate au’s for the fun of it. Okay, I’m done blabbing, enjoy!

“David, it’s 5 so I’m headed out!” You called back to the owner. It was actually passed 5 but you had stayed to finish up what you were doing. You really needed to get home and study. Exams were right around the corner and if you didn’t sit down and do some real work, you were afraid you might be in some trouble.

You worked at a quaint bookstore close to your university. It offered seating and a small cafe so it was hugely popular with the uni kids. They could come in and study or find a new book to read. Your boss even tried to keep some of the textbooks in stock just to raise business.

Despite its success during the semester, it never seemed to be busy during exams. You supposed it was because everyone else studied at the libraries on campus.

“Wait! (Y/N)!” David yelled out before you could get out the door. “Something came up and I have to run. Can you close the shop tonight? Please?”

You hesitated. David was a great boss and you wanted to help, but again, you needed to study.

“I’ll pay you time and a half.”

Well then. “Okay, but you also owe me breakfast and a coffee tomorrow morning.”

“Deal. Thank you so much, see you tomorrow!” He yelled, barreling out the door in a hurry.

You sighed looking back at the store front. Guess your day wasn’t over after all.

The rest of the day went fairly slow, with only a small rush in the middle to fill the void. Customers dwindled as you went back and forth between the bookshelves and the cafe. Before you knew it, the store was dead and you still had a half hour to go.

The store had marvelous ceiling to floor bookshelves that were beautiful to look at but such a pain in the ass to work around. There was unfortunately only one ladder that was used to reach the higher shelves and you always put it off. That ladder was a little rickety and the floors just uneven enough that you were always afraid you were going to take a tumble. But you literally did everything else you could. You even wiped down the tables twice. So there was nothing left to do but restock and inventory the higher shelves.

You grabbed the ladder and moved it around enough until you thought it was as stable as it was gonna get. Grabbing a stack of books, you quickly climbed up and began rearranging.

Everything was going fine. You got through most of the books. It’s when you got to the science fiction section that you felt the ladder wobble.

Your eyes widened as you tried to steady yourself but your movement jolted the ladder and you lose your balance. Bracing for impact, you closed your eyes and tried to tuck your head in. Just as you thought you were going to hit the hard floor, a soft mass hit you instead and you landed with a small “oof.”

The warm mass that hit you groaned and you realized with a start it was another person. You quickly opened your eyes and shot up from the ground. Looking down, you found a man with long blonde hair spread out over the floor. His bag was thrown across the aisle with the contents spilled out. He rubbed his head, eyes scrunched closed as he sat forward.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” You said. “Are you okay? Oh god, you didn’t get a concussion did you?” You were starting to panic a little. Whoever he was just saved you from a possibly hard tumble. But what if you hurt him instead? He probably hit his head on the floor. Can you get a concussion from that? Maybe you should call for an ambulance.

“I’m fine, love. Just smacked my head a bit but I’ll be okay. You’re not hurt, are you?” he asked, looking at his lap and getting his bearings.

“I’m good, thanks to you,” you said, “here let me help.” You extended your hand out to help him and he finally looks up. Just as he grabbed your offered hand, his eyes met yours.

And suddenly, you weren’t in the bookshop anymore.

You’re playing a small drum set while your mother watches on with a soft smile.

You’re riding a bike down the street with your friends. You’re racing to the candy shop at the end of the corner.

You’re snogging a beautiful brunette behind the science building of your school. Her lips are soft but warm.

You feel the harsh slap of your father’s hand across your face. And you feel all the other blows after it.

You tap away a rhythm on the desk with your pencil while your professor drones on about something you already know. You still get reprimed for disturbing the class.

You’re lugging your drum kit to Imperial College after seeing an ad. You walk in with all the confidence in the world because you’re Roger fucking Taylor.

Memory after memory flooded your mind. A lifetime of them. And then you were back in the bookshop, but only long enough to realize that you weren’t Roger Taylor before you were off again.

You’re watching Roger from the wings of a stage as he pounds away on the drums. There are other people on the stage, but you only have eyes for him. He looks up and gives you a dazzling smile and a wink before turning back to the drums. You can feel your smile grow wider.

Roger has his arm around your waist as he talks into your ear. You’re sitting on a sofa together as a party rages around you. You mingled around for a while before you decided to take up residence on the sofa. You’re content just sitting there cheek to cheek so you can hear each other. You only pull away to take a drink or laugh, but also to watch the love and mirth dance around in his eyes.

You’re washing dishes at the sink. When you look out the window you see Roger being tackled by two little girls. They tumble to the ground but you can see them all laughing. An older blonde boy is smiling at the scene from behind a book. Roger grabs both girls, one under each arm and swings them up.

More and more scenes flashed across your mind almost as fast as you could process them.

Roger is smiling at you again. You’re walking down a busy city street hand in hand. He’s old and gray and you can feel his wrinkles against yours as he swings your joined hands between you. But you can still see his youthfulness shine through in his eyes. You break away and demand a race to the end of the block. Winner gets the last of the ice cream at home. You hear his resounding laugh behind you.

As the last scene fades in front of your eyes, you were slowly brought back to the store.

The man Roger was still on the floor but looking up at you with such wonder in his eyes. And you knew exactly why.

Because you lived his entire life in a matter of moments. It felt so strange. You lived Roger’s life - in its entirety. Only a few moments passed, but you just spent 20 some odd years getting to know Roger inside and out. It felt like an eternity. You knew why he grew his hair out, how long it took him to pick out his clothes today, what made him come to the store, and most importantly, his view on soulmates.

Which was apparently that they were a load of bollocks.

And he didn’t want nor need one.

So while his face showed wonder, you knew yours was apprehensive.

You never thought you’d be part of the lucky few that actually finds their supposed soulmate. But you most certainly believed in them. Perhaps because it’s a little girls fantasy to know there is someone out there made just for you. The romantic in you couldn’t help but sigh.

Roger brought you out of your musings, scrambling off the floor to stand. He was still looking at you strangely, and you weren’t sure what was going through his mind.

“You… that… did you see that? The memories? And the - the-”

“The memories you’re supposed to make with your soulmate? Yes, of course,” you said. Roger’s breath hitched a little when you said soulmate but otherwise didn’t react. You seemed to be the only calm one in the situation. You were almost worried Roger might have a panic attack.

“I don’t… that is, I didn’t want…” he stumbled over his words.

“You don’t want a soulmate. Roger, I know. I did just live your entire life. I can’t say I’m not disappointed though.” It stung. Not only because your soulmate was rejecting you.

But because you loved him.

Those who found their soulmates were often featured on the news. People interviewed said they did not fall in love instantly. That it wasn’t like they were hit with Cupid’s arrow and all the sudden loved the person. But rather they saw the person in their memories. They learned all their faults, saw them at their lowest, their highest. They had all the years of their soulmate’s life to fall in love with them.

And now you could understand why. You watched Roger get pushed down by nearly everyone around him. But you saw him rise above that and become the kind, caring, if a bit cocky and arrogant man he is right now. How could you not love him?

“No! Love, you’ve got it wrong. I thought that. And I know you just saw a lifetime of that but it’s different! Shit, I’m not explaining myself well I swear I’m more articulate than this.” He said, running a hand through his hair. One of his nervous habits.

“I know.” You gave him a small smirk, trying to relieve some of his tension and your nerves.

He got it after a moment and chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you do.”

“How about this,” you said, hoping to take the edge off some more, “why don’t I grab the book you came here for. You gather your things and your thoughts. I’ll meet you in the cafe, alright?”

He hesitated for a moment, looking a little apprehensive before saying, “Alright, love. Just so long as you don’t need to climb that ladder. Don’t think we need you falling again.”

You blinked and looked over at the ladder with the stack of books. You nearly forgot that happened. Even though you just saw through Roger’s eyes how you lost your balance and he attempted to catch you. Gosh, you were gonna get a headache at this rate.

“Don’t worry. No climbing necessary.” You gave him one last smile before turning around and heading towards the medical books you keep in the back area.

When you got back, you saw Roger sat at the nearest table, bag thrown over the chair as he stared at his hands.

“Here you go,” you handed him the book.

He sighed, “Thanks, love. This is a life saver.”

“I know.” You smirked at him again.

“Is this going to be a running joke?” He laughed.

“Only until it gets old.”

Silence covered you as you waited. He stared at you, making you squirm a little.

“I think I’ve got my thoughts, if you’re ready to hear them.” He said quietly.

You nod and watched as he started drumming his fingers on the table for a moment.

“You know- knew my thoughts on soulmates. There’s no point reiterating that. But I guess you could say a moment changed that.” He tentatively reached across the table to grab one of your hands. You felt your cheeks heat up a bit as he gripped you tight. “I’ve seen your entire life, (Y/N), and you’ve seen mine.” You jolted a little at hearing your name come from him for the first time. After hearing his voice for years and years, finally having it directed at you seemed so strange. But not unpleasant.

He gave you this brilliant smile, lighting up his entire face. “I guess I finally realized what everyone was always talking about when they met their soulmate. It seems impossible and it goes against everything I believed. But in a moment, I fell in love with you.”

You worried your lip between your teeth as you gazed at him. His eyes were sincere and he seemed to mean it. But you also had memories of such sweet words being whispered to the conquest of the night.

Roger shifted in his seat beginning to look a little uncomfortable. “Please say something, love. I may have been inside your head for the last 20 odd years, but I’m not in it now.”

You stared at him for a few moments longer. Just when you thought he might burst, you say, “The… other girls.”

“Would you call me a sap if I said they were just distractions, even if I didn’t know it at the time? I’ve been passing the time, not knowing I’d end up here with you.” His smile was bashful though you could hear no lie behind it.

You wanted to tease him a little though, “I would call you a sap, in fact. Because you always heckled your friends over believing in soulmates.”

“Aw, c’mon, love! I’m putting myself out here.” He pouted at you.

You smiled. “And you deserve every second of this, Roger Taylor! But that’s okay, because I love you too.”

It took him a second, but he finally processes your words. The smile was spreading across his face as his grip on your hand tightened. Suddenly, he was pulling you forward, leaning halfway across the table.

Your face grew heated again as he was only a few centimeters away from you. His eyes roamed over your cheeks before looking into yours. Just as he leaned in and your began to close your eyes, the door jingled as it opened.

You were about to spring apart, embarrassed to have been caught, but Roger just gives you a smirk and yanks you to him. His lips are warm and soft and you let yourself melt into the kiss.

That is, until someone cleared their throat behind you. You reluctantly pulled away. Roger gave you a half smile and release his hold on you.

The customer that interrupted you was some girl your age looking for a book on medieval paintings. You were quick to find her what she needed, ring her out. All the while you felt Roger’s eyes tracking your movements. Whenever your eyes darted over in his direction, he was still sitting at the table, legs crossed and that beautifully annoying smirk on his face.

When you finally locked the door behind the girl, he gets up as well, meeting you at the door. “As much fun as I think we’d have locked in here by ourselves, I’ve got to get back to my flat and study for my exams. My roommate will have my head if I flake. I should have been back by now.” He looked apologetic, like he didn’t want to leave.

“Brian, right?” you ask. He gave you a nod. “I understand, I have to study as well.” Again, you nearly forgot about your own life with Roger’s still so fresh in your head.

“Look, (Y/N), now that I found you, I’m not letting you out of my sight.” He pulled out a slip of paper and hands it to you. “Just in case you forget,” he said, tapping the side of his head. On the paper is his flat number. “Call me when your exams are done, yeah?”

You felt yourself slowly smile as you stuck the slip into your pocket. “Yeah… yeah, okay.”

He kissed you again, just as sweetly as the first time. He left with one last backwards glance towards the shop, a huge smile on his face. You couldn’t help but lift your finger to your lips, reveling in the tingle he left there. Exams couldn’t be over quick enough.

#roger taylor #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x you #roger taylor x reader #fanfiction #Queen

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kweebtrash · 5 years

Text

Eres Mia (M)

Messy Chapter 8

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut, a smidge of fluff/awkwardness

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: mentions of drugs/alcohol, talks about suicide, the teeeeniest bit of violence, possibility of emotional manipulation, jealousy/possessiveness

Features: unprotected sex, creampies, rough fingering/finger sucking, oral/throat fucking, a little hint of bondage, rough hair grabbing, squirting, overstretching/gaping, daddy/princess dynamics, choking, relentless/brutal/deep thrusting, a bit of overstimulation/multiple orgasms, also being covered in cum

Word Count: 21,103K

A/N: So explanation about this chapter: It has some cultural references that maybe not everyone will get but I can explain them if anyone wants to send me a question about it. If you haven’t figured it out (or even just made a generalization) Eri is afro-carribean (the exact island is left vague on purpose, but it would be in the latinx part of the cluster). There’s also spanish in the chapter and tbh use google translate and if you still have problems again just message me.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

The Boys Group Chat

Taeyong: 5

Lucas: what???

Ten: 5 what?

Taeyong: my score with Eri is at 5.

Lucas: HOLY FUCK

Taeil: OHHH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.

Ten: how?? When??? What???!

Taeyong: last night. Shower. Against the wall. In the bed twice. And our usual against the door.

Lucas: how tf did u manage that??

Lucas: i thought you hated her

Taeyong: i never hated her. It was just the drama and shit

Taeyong: like at the party i just didn’t want a fight to break out. i didn’t want the cops called or anything

Taeyong: so like i kicked her out but it was just because i knew she would have thrown the first punch

Lucas: well you aren’t really wrong

Lucas: i don’t blame you for not wanting the cops to show up

Taeyong: i had under 21 friends there. I didn’t want them to get in trouble

Ten: how did you even manage to get her to fuck you???

Taeyong: she called me actually. She was drunk af but sobered up before she got here

Ten: i cannot believe

Ten: i haven’t even been able to get with her AT ALL lately

Johnny: wtf is going on

Taeil: oooooooffff this is….

Ten: the tea brews itself

Johnny: Taeyong what did you say

Taeyong: i fucked your girl. She came to me instead of coming to you

Yuta: dude this is…

Johnny: don’t go near her again

Johnny: i mean it

Taeyong: dude i’m not scared of you

Taeyong: yall arent even official

Johnny: i don’t care

Johnny: dont touch her

Yuta: johnny quit it

Yuta: you can’t hog her to yourself

Yuta: just like jae can’t hog quinn

Ten: just admit ur jealous and move on.

Johnny: im not jealous

Johnny: you just dont deserve her after the stunt you pulled at the party

Taeyong: clearly i do because shes been thinking about fucking me for a long time

Taeyong: maybe even while shes been fucking you.

(Johnny has left the chat)

Ten: fuck

Yuta: this is getting fucking ridiculous

Yuta: i mean she texted me like when she was with him i think

Yuta: like she didnt care that she was with him and was being cute with me

Lucas: she flirts with everyone

Lucas: do you think she does actually wanna be with him?

Taeyong: who cares

Taeyong: fact of the matter is shes up for grabs

Taeyong: and if I wanna go after her i will

Yuta: WHOA WHOA

Yuta: you mean try and date her?

Ten: taeyong thats not a good idea

Taeyong: i never said id date her

Taeyong: but if shit happens, shit happens

Taeyong: thats all im saying

–

It was strange waking up in bed next to Taeyong. We had never done that before especially since the last time we were together we had to leave the office quickly. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, his shaggy hair ruffled and sticking up in random places and lips slightly pouted. I watched his chest rise and fall with each soft breath for a moment while I tried to keep my head from spinning. This…might have been a bad idea. I was in my feelings for Johnny and I knew that I only hooked up with Taeyong as a sort of rebound/revenge plot. I didn’t want to tell him that but I was sure we were still platonic enough that it didn’t matter. Taeyong wouldn’t make things weird or messy. This would just be a one time thing…or a five time thing. We may have gotten a bit carried away. He was tentative in the shower, making sure that I was still sober enough to be okay. He washed me, helped me wash my hair, and let the heated water run over me to warm me up. And when he slid down to wash my legs his lips met between my thighs and I couldn’t help but give in to his tongue.

He was no Taeil but he knew enough to make me try and steady myself against the slippery tile and grip onto his hair tightly. It was relaxing to finally get off by being eaten out, to just sit back and let him do all the work. It was definitely something I missed. After the shower, we dried off and he put me into some of his pjs (which were tight as all hell on me) and we relaxed in his bed. I got some more water in me and slowly weaned off the rest of the alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of trying to sleep we got lost in each other’s lips which somehow lead to him keeping me against his bedroom wall and fucking me as deep as he could go. Mid morning came and we didn’t want to get up. So of course the next option was to 69 then fuck me into the mattress. Just when I thought I would finally be able to leave he wouldn’t stop kissing me as I got to his bedroom door and we had a proper deja vu moment of last semester.

By the time I actually got home it was late at night and I was sore as all hell. I left him covered in hickies, scratches, and bite marks- my typical calling card- and he left me wanting to sleep for days. I collapsed on my bed unmoving for hours on end and barely making it to class the next day. Johnny was there of course and I tried my best to avoid him like the plague. That was always the hardest part. When we were on our highs, being next to each other radiated chemistry and we would rather pass the time sexting than paying attention. When we were on our lows, everything was ice cold and I detested even being within his vicinity. He still wouldn’t open up to me or even let me tell him that it was okay to cry. He didn’t need to worry about that with me. Of course he wouldn’t listen and we were stuck in a frozen tundra that didn’t let us move one way or the other. I tried my best to instead focus on studying for once. My grades were alright but they could definitely be better and I didn’t want to have to waste more money repeating classes. I spent my nights hitting the books and hoping I could retain enough information to pass. I was holed up in my room as usual when I heard knocking on the front door and i wondered if maybe Quinn forgot their keys. It seemed a little early for them to come home from being with Jae. I set my textbook down onto my desk and padded towards the living room. When I opened the door I hated what I saw.

His eyes were bright red and he reeked of menthol and weed. He leaned against the door frame, a big grin on his face that happiness didn’t seem to be the cause of. “What are you doing here?” I whispered in disbelief.

“What am i doing here?” He licked his lips and chuckled. “What are you doing fucking Taeyong?”

My eyes went wide. “Did he…did he tell you?”

“He told everyone in our chat. 5 times, huh? That a record or something?”

I backed away from him hating how he was acting and being hurt that what I did was blasted over some group chat. I couldn’t believe Taeyong would do something like that. I had stated plenty of times who i had hooked up with but it was on my terms, with my permission, not like gossiping around a watering hole. “You need to leave.” I swallowed hard and didn’t look at him. My voice was too unsteady for that.

I heard the door snap shut and looked up to find him looming over me. “Not a chance. Not until I make you forget all about that stupid bastard.”

He grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me towards him, easily overpowering me to crash his lips against mine. I clawed at his coat, digging into the soft fabric as I tried forcing myself away. I slammed the side of my fist into his chest and pushed him back. “NO! You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to come back into my life whenever you decide to! I’m not something to have at your convenience and I sure as hell don’t need you to keep leading me on.”

“Leading you on? Where am I leading you too?” His hands still had a hold of my neck and shoulders which I could not shake.

I could feel the tears already trying to come forth but i grounded myself, dug deep within me to stop them. “Leading me to you. I always get led back to you.”

“You don’t want to get led back to me.” He laughed. “I’m fuckin’ useless!”

I grabbed at his hands, wanting them off me. “Stop that! I’m not your fucking therapy and my purpose is not to fix you.”

“I don’t want to be fixed! I want to be fucked!”

“And that’s another layer to your goddamn problem, Johnny! Life isn’t all about diving into sex to make yourself forget! You need to reevaluate what’s going on in your life before you put your hands on someone else’s.”

“I don’t want you to have Taeyong on you.” He kissed me, gentler this time. “Or Lucas.” Another kiss. “Or Taeil.” A small lick. “Or Yuta.” He sucked on my bottom lip for a second before kissing me again. “Or anyone else.”

“You cant have me all to yourself. That isn’t how this works. You don’t want me, you only want what you see on the surface. You don’t give a shit about what’s beneath and you definitely don’t want to see it.”

He released me from his grasp and scoffed. “The surface? I’ve let you dig inside my brain more than anyone else in my life. You’re stuck inside there now, you can’t move. You know how sick i’ve felt, how weak i am, how less of a man i am-”

“Save that bullshit, Johnny! It’s not true! I told you it was okay to cry! It doesn’t mean you’re less of a man! It just means you’re a normal human being. Men can cry. Men can show emotion and they should. I just wanted to help…to be there for you.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve always had to be the man. There wasn’t any room for me to cry!” He screamed. “You want to talk about not wanting what’s beneath the surface? You’re already there, Eri. You’ve seen everything I could possibly hate to show anyone.”

“And yet you’re coming to me just so you can be buried inside something for an hour or two. That’s what it’s actually like to feel useless and discarded. I know you don’t fucking care and you never will.”

“This is starting to get messy…it’s a clusterfuck and it keeps growing.”

“You just keep fueling the fire.” I said. “I’m not going back. I can’t. My heart can’t take it. I hate seeing you like this. I hate hearing you like this and I want to help. I really do. But i can only take so much before you start swallowing me whole.”

He grabbed me again, pressing me against the door and trapping me between it and his body. “This is how you help.” His breath was heavy against my neck, tickling the sensitive skin there. I shuddered and failed to squirm away from him. “I know you’re not going to fix me. I can do that on my own, eventually, but right here, right now this is what I want.”

“Well i don’t.” The tears fell and i slammed my fist back against the door, pissed entirely that it was happening again. I shouldn’t be crying over him anymore. “I don’t want to be what you push inside of. You don’t want to know what’s really going on with me. You’d run away from me as much as I want to run from you.”

“You think i’d be scared of what you’ve done? What you’ve been through? Its nothing, Eri.” He grabbed my chin and and jerked my head to the side so he could growl in my ear. “I want you. Raw. Dirty.”

“You want me black out drunk? You want me with a broken hand through drywall? You want me bleeding out in a tub with a knife in my hand? You want me laying on the floor unable to breathe and falling in and out of consciousness? You want me running away from the one good thing i’ve ever had in my life?” My voice trembled again. “You want me hiding who i really am from my family? You want me watching myself be the cause of people’s hurt? Because that’s what’s really raw and dirty. Or do you just want to fuck as always?”

He hoisted me onto his waist suddenly, crushing me now to the point where i could barely breathe. I wrapped my legs around his as he shoved his forehead against mine. “Give me it. Give me all of it, Eri.”

I tried not to kiss him, i really did, but my heart shoved me towards it. My tongue slid out to creep into his mouth which he warmly accepted. It was angry, heated, rushed, and broken- like the entirety of our relationship. I was clutching onto him desperately as if I was trying to shock my system back into loathing him. It didn’t matter if I made drunken mistakes or if he made drugged out ones, every time, we somehow found a way back to each other as if we were tied with a string of fate. “Why?” I whispered when I finally caught my breath. “Why don’t you talk to me? For weeks at a time…it hurts…”

“Because i hate the way I feel about you.” He panted.

I licked my lips and hovered them over his. “How do you feel about me?”

He shook his head. “I…don’t worry about it. I’m faded as fuck right now. It won’t matter what I say.”

“Clearly it fucking does.”

“It’s only gonna get more fucked up between us.”

“It already is fucked up! Were fucked up! This whole shit is fucked up! We were supposed to hook up at the summer party and that’s it!!”

“Yeah and here you are fucking Taeyong and Yuta and whoever else you’d let inside you.”

I slapped him. The first time i’d ever wanted to hit him at all. I would’ve never laid a hand on him especially after all he had been through- i never wanted to be that person. Ever. But he crossed a fucking line and that small dangerous part of my brain was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me then and I fell right on my ass. I scrambled to get up as he stood there motionless.

“Dont…dont ever do that.” He whispered harshly.

“I didn’t want to! But don’t you ever come for who I sleep with! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to be a hypocrite because you’re fucking jealous! What are you even jealous for? I’m not your girlfriend!”

“AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!”

I felt a stab of pain through my chest that hurt worse than anything I had ever felt before. Was this…was this what Jungwoo felt? Had karma finally come to get me and pay me back for what I did to him all those years ago? It felt like I couldn’t breathe but I could definitely feel the tears flowing down my cheeks like a river. His eyes went wide and he took a step towards me. I took one back before sprinting to my room. I slammed the door shut, pressing myself against it and sliding to the floor.

He pounded his fists against it, begging me to open it. I was afraid he was going to break through the wood with how hard he was rattling the door. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my thighs, staining my pajamas pants with tears.

“I-im sorry, ok?”

No you’re not.

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this.”

Well it is now, so fuck you.

“I don’t know what I really want, Eri.”

I guess…i don’t really know either. Should you even be my boyfriend at this point? What would I do once I had you? Would my fear of love go away? Or would you make it worse?

“I like when we spend time together. You’re cool as fuck but we…we cant be like that. You know that right? I don’t get with people and stay with them. We can only fuck…”

I hate you. Go away. Leave me alone.

“I guess i’m broken or whatever you want to call it but i’m not a charity case. I don’t want you to pity me or feel like you have to take care of me. Like you said, it’s not your job. But for right now…this is how I handle stuff, just like how you handle stuff your way, you know?”

By being a drunk partied out mess, i know. Hungry for attention, starving for someone to care for them, and completely barren of love but wanting to fill that void somehow.

“I’m not fine. I haven’t been fine for a long time. My anxiety never used to be this bad. I never even used to have night terrors or panic attacks. It just got worse after…after the first time i got…you know, what I told you about before. Then college happened and it was so much pressure and I wanted to make my mom proud and happy and take care of her because my dad never did. You know even when i felt so fucking empty around Rixi, i didn’t sleep for 2 whole days because I was studying my ass off for midterms just to keep my straight A’s?” He let out a soft chuckle. “I have a 4.0, hookup with dozens of girls, work three jobs, go to the gym, and try and do my art. When i say that i run on energy drinks and coffee i’m not kidding.”

That’s adding to your anxiety, stupid. And so is the weed. And your inability to FUCKING communicate. Why do you have to be such a stupid dumb….MAN all the time?!

“I know that doesn’t matter to you-”

It does because I know you’re hardworking and care about what you do. You’re a passionate soul and i love that about you. You’re so dedicated.

“But i dont know…i guess I wanted to tell you anyway. I’m not making excuses. I know what I do is my own damn fault but i just wanted you to know.”

I shifted slightly and reached up for the door handle, scooting away to pull it open slightly. I peeked my head through the gap and he looked at me, eyes a bit puffy as if he had been crying too. He wiped his nose and made it seem like he was put together in his typical Johnny fashion. I still didn’t say anything but he crept his hand closer to me and extended his pinky. I looked at it for a few seconds before locking mine around it. He was quiet for a bit, the tension remaining thick and heavy. The quietness was only interrupted by a few sniffles from the both of us. I wiped away at my tears, wanting to remind myself that this was proof. This was what always happened. Either i ended up drunk or ended up crying when it came to him. Or both for that matter.

I truly felt like i should continue to make myself suffer with him. One look of those soft brown eyes and honey-sweet lips would draw me in and his soothing voice would whisper caring thoughts and expressions. I saw the blushes he had when he talked to me, the way he seemed embarrassed or nervous, but there were always underlying signs that proved he didn’t like me. Most blatantly when he said-no, yelled- that i would never be his girlfriend. Logic told me to run. When had i ever put a man before me or anyone for that matter? Masochism told me that I enjoyed the pain of being rejected over and over again and that it was a game. Lust told me that i loved when he got jealous and growled in my ear. I wanted him to tell me that I was his as he fucked me so deep and hard that I couldn’t move. Greed told me that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted all the attention, all the love, all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And rationality? That bitch was nowhere to be found.

“What saved you…when you tried to um…kill yourself?”

My head snapped up at the question. It hadn’t been posed to me since I met Quinn three years ago. It was something that I blocked from my brain and never reopened. But this was a test, to see if he could really handle what was fucking wrong with me. I squeezed his pinky tighter and finally croaked. “Daniella. She’s uh…she’s my little sister. I traumatized a 10 year old by bleeding out in a bathtub and she called the police and my mom. She tried to stop the bleeding. She cried but she kept pushing through. She was….so mature in that moment. More than I had ever been. She wanted to be there when they admitted me. My mom didn’t believe what was going on- more so in a sense that she didn’t want to believe that her kid was sick. Just like she didn’t want to believe I was gay at first. Eventually, she saw past it. She saw how much I needed her and how much we didn’t want to lose each other. But yeah…that was…it was Dani.”

“You know, her Quinceanera is in a week and I can’t believe she’s already 15. It’s weird how time flies…how I can’t exactly remember it all.” I continued.

“Are you going? To the party i mean.” He asked.

I nodded. “I have to. I’m like in the…so it’s basically almost like a bridal party. It’s real weird. But they pair us up and we walk down an aisle and Dani will come out with her big poofy dress and everyone will look at her and sing ’Las Mañanitas’ blah blah blah. It’s a precursor wedding and weird tradition I hated. So i never had one. And now, mom gets to put all her spite of her not having one and me not having one into an over the top expensive party for Dani, but you know…don’t help me with my student loans or anything.”

“Oh…sounds like a…journey.” I let out a small laugh and he crept closer towards the gap. I opened the door a little bit more. “It was my mom for me.”

“What?” I whispered.

“I was ready to jump off my school building after I got with her. I would see her everywhere on my social media and around town. I had to hide everything about how she made me feel and I felt like I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I sat on the ledge for a long time, thinking about it and staring at the ground. Just as I decided I was going to jump, I got a text from my mom. It said ‘hi honey, hope you have a great day at school! I love you a lot.’” He rubbed at his eyes and looked away from me. “I still have it saved on my phone- transferred over each time I got a different one. I look at it sometimes when i feel like utter shit. Then I call her.” He sighed deeply and I pulled him closer to me, the door falling open wider. “Have I ever told you thank you?”

“W-what?” I asked, stunned.

“Thank you. For being there for me. When shit hit the fan basically. You and Jae pretty much helped me through a lot. Is that like…a part of working through this? Admitting when you’ve been helped?”

I nodded. “It’s a start…”

He got even closer and kissed me, our pinkies tightening and lips slow and steady. My will was wavering and I was kicking myself again. It never failed. I pulled away and turned my head away from his. He sighed and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t make up for a lot of things, Johnny.”

“I know, princess. I know.”

“No, you don’t get to say that word to me anymore. That part is done. It’s only for people who know how to communicate.”

“Ok…” he said simply.

I let go of his hand and moved away from the door. He came through fully, sitting beside me now and set his arm around my waist. He kissed my temple then rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood quiet for a moment, trying to process everything. Nothing had gotten better at all. Everything was more confusing and more painful. I didn’t feel good and I didn’t want him here but at the same time I did. I looked over at his sad eyes, knowing he was truly sorry but still cementing the fact that I would never be his. Hurting was all I was good for and I accepted the karmic punishment.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and his eyes drew themselves to me. I laid nothing but whispers against his lips drawing him in to press himself against me and steal my breath away in a kiss. Gradually, our clothes began disappearing until we were naked in my bed, hands between each others thighs, stroking and thrusting until we were dirty with each other’s release. He didn’t let me go instead opting to grab my hips and keep me flush against me. “I want me on you. Not any of those assholes.”

“I’m not yours…”

“Tonight you are.” He dug his blunt nails into my hips and sunk his teeth into the base of my neck. It hurt with how hard he was biting down but I knew what he was doing; marking me so that whoever i was with next could see the deep bruise he was trying to leave behind. I clawed at his shoulders, whimpering pathetically and about to beg him to stop but he pulled away, pressing softer kisses to the deep marks instead. I shoved his head away seeing the playful smirk he had on his face.

“Ass…”

“You want a bite mark on your ass too?” he asked coyly.

I rolled my eyes and commanded him to get a towel to clean up the mess he made on my stomach. He gave me another kiss before scooting off the bed and heading towards my door. For a moment I thought I imagined it and had to blink twice but i saw him licking his fingers- the same ones that were inside me just a minute ago. He had never done that. Usually he’d wipe them on my sheets or something. I laid back and closed my eyes, tossing away any ideas of what that meant. I felt him on the bed again, gently wiping away his cum off my skin before laying himself between my thighs, his head on my chest. That also surprised me and i wished I knew what the fuck was going on in his head. Was it from all the weed? I didn’t really know how much he smoked before he got here. It could’ve been what helped set off his emotions and express his jealousy about Taeyong.

I wanted to pry at his stupid decisions and actions some more but I was slowly running out of energy to deal with arguing, anxiety, and my mood swings in such a short amount of time. I decided to lay in my self hatred with Johnny on top of me, our breaths flowing together into an easier rhythm. I closed my eyes and set my hand on his head. “Pet my hair.” He grumbled.

“You think that a half fuck is going to solve this?” I said, ignoring his request.

“No. We’re doing what we do best, hurting each other.”

“But why does it have to be like this?”

“Because it’s just who we are, Eri. It’s what we do. It’s how we function together. You want to call it off?”

“Call what off?”

“Being fuck buddies.” Yes was what I should have said. Instead, I shook my head and kept my eyes away from him. “Good…Because I don’t want to stop fucking you.”

“I don’t either…” I said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair now, pushing it back and feeling his sides that were grown out. "Remember when you asked me to feel alive?”

He nodded.

“Do that for me. Maybe me feel like I don’t fucking hate you for what you’ve done. Like i don’t want you more than I need to.”

He stilled against me and didn’t say anything. I could feel him looking at me and when I finally had the courage to meet his eyes I saw that he seemed to be hurt by my confession. Eventually, he mumbled a response. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

"Mostly i hate myself.” I hate myself for loving you.

“Dont, baby…” He turned my face towards his to continue our kiss. “You don’t need to hate yourself.”

“Just shut up, Johnny. Fuck me already.”

“Fine.” He growled and gave quick bites over my breast making me arch against him. I hissed slowly, gripping onto his shoulders and digging my nails into his skin. He morphed his bites into kisses, working to gather my nipple in his mouth to suck slowly but hungrily. Eventually, his kisses got even lower as he discarded my breasts in favor of moving down to the softness of my stomach. A little nibble beneath my rib cage jerked my body towards his mouth, edging my hips into eager swivels. I parted my lips to let out a sweet sigh and a small plead for him to keep going. His tongue dipped into my belly button, making me squirm against the wet heat. I inched my hands back to his hair to return him to my lips and stop his teasing but he had other plans. His hands suddenly came crashing down on my wrists, pinning them to the bed and practically crushing them. I winced at the pain and asked him to ease up but he only snapped at me.

“Shut up and don’t touch me, got it?”

“W-what are you doing?” I asked, nervously.

“Shut. Up.”

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowing hard and full of worry more than sensuality. I tried taking deep breaths but I felt like I was getting more nervous. Johnny was quiet as ever but I could feel his breath tickling against my sensitivity. I licked the dryness from my lips and just as I was about to try and pull away from his hands I felt it. It was small and gentle, just the tip of his tongue working over my clit. My entire body tensed and I remained frozen in place. I feared scaring him, or worse, triggering him. We retreated into minutes of silence that made my heart race with worry. “J-Johnny? A-are you-?”

There were butterfly kisses to my clit before his tongue reached out once again. It covered the entirety of my lower lips, pressing a slick heat over me and gathering the cum left behind from his fingering to trail it back to my clit. He trapped the bit of nerves between his lips, suckling lightly. I knew he was being cautious due to nervousness and unease but it was also amazingly tender and sweet. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and let out a moan hoping that he would take it as praise and a sign to continue. There was another long pause and my fingers curled in anticipation for more but there was nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at him.

He was stationary, his eyes glancing over my center and lips trembling. The grip on my wrists got tighter, too tight for even my own liking. “Johnny…you need to let me go.” I said softly.

“No. I-i cant…”

“You can stop now, it’s ok but you’re hurting me. Come up here. Come kiss me, baby.” He looked defeated but saw the pain in my face and finally let my wrists go. I didn’t immediately shake out the numbing feeling and instead waited for him to crawl back up my torso. I held onto him as tight as I could, covering his lips, cheeks, neck in excited pecks. He did it. With me. It wasn’t complete or full or satisfying by any means but it meant so much. “You did so good, baby boy. So, so good.” I cooed.

He hid in my neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head quickly. “Don’t be. It was good. A great start, ok?”

“I wanted to try…a little at least so you don’t feel like i did when we fucked in the bathroom at the party. You shouldn’t want to feel alive with me because you’re numb. I don’t want that at all.”

“I just wanna feel good is all…” I held onto him tighter. “I don’t want to feel like i’m going to be thrown away.”

“I-i wont…” He swiftly slipped out of the bed and returned with a condom on. He whispered as he pulled my legs around him, pressing himself at my entrance. “I wont…”

“But you can’t promise that.” I swallowed hard and felt him sink into me inch by inch. The rest of my thoughts were voided by the methodical pace of him stretching me open. He ignored what I had said and instead focused on kissing everywhere he could reach as he thrusted slowly. My hands traced the length of his spine, resting in the center of his back and keeping him close. Inside my head I pleaded for him to not go slow, to not be intimate and stir up more dreadful feelings inside the pit of my stomach. Please just fuck me so I can be reminded of how shitty you are. Don’t remind me of how cute and caring you can be. I’m begging you Johnny.

I knew he couldn’t hear me so of course he didn’t stop rolling his hips to have his cock hit every space within me. He was panting softly, gentle moans mixing in every once in awhile. They sounded so precious and I couldn’t help but bury myself in his lips again. His hand pulled mine away from his back just so our fingers could intertwine. Nonono, stop that. For the love of god don’t do this to me.

He squeezed my hand tight and I felt my tears resurface. This is what scared me the most. Not him leaving or him ignoring me or throwing me away. This Johnny, the human, sentimental, emotional man that could have me fall into his arms (and bed) at the snap of his fingers. I was helpless against him and I just craved more and more torture. He kissed away my tears and nudged our foreheads together. “Hey…it’s okay.” He breathed.

It is not okay. It will never be ok. But he took care of me, stilling every so often to regain his composure as i could feel him throbbing and ready for another release. Worst of all was that I wanted him too. I wanted him to feel good, another hurtful self sacrifice because I cared so much about him. I gave him a soft plea to cum for me, which he took instantly. His free hand slipped between us, his thumb pressing small acts of pleasure into my clit as his other hand never left mine. He only squeezed my fingers tighter while my walls squeezed him the same way. Just at the very end his hips made quicker snaps, hitting the back of my thighs and making my back arch from the mattress. And in one fell breath i felt my stomach heat up and the most comforting sensation flowing within me.

My cheeks flushed as I had never felt anything like it before and wondered what the hell did he do differently. Maybe it was because i was so damn love drunk that it made everything seem better when i was with him. It wasn’t until he jerked out of me so harshly that I snapped my thighs shut. “O-ow! Johnny, what the-”

“The condom broke.” He trembled.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe what I had heard.

“Eri. The fucking condom broke.”

I looked down and could see his cum flowing out of me and staining the bed sheets, while the rubber had a slight tear across the tip. Our eyes met and panic slammed into me at full speed. “O-oh my fucking god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.”

“You’re on birth control right?” His voice was an octave or two higher.

“Well no shit! But it doesn’t magically mean it’s 100% full proof! People still get pregnant while on birth control.”

“I’M FULLY AWARE OF THAT ERI.”

“DON’T YELL AT ME.”

“I’M SORRY I JUST…” I noticed him staring at me which made me more uncomfortable.

“What? What else is wrong?” He shrugged but continued to stare. “Johnny. What is it?!”

“Nothing! It’s just…i mean-”

“Oh, you asshole!!” I flung my pillow straight at his face. “I’m literally fucking panicking and you think cumming inside me is hot!!”

“I’M SORRY!!! I’ve never done it before and it just…looks good, ok?!”

“You are the absolute worse and I CANNOT stand you!” I covered my face that was getting heated up by the second. How could he think about that while I was panicking? How could I think it felt good and perfect when i absolutely loathed cum (and was panicking)? We truly were fucking stupid.

“Hey, we’ll be ok. I know we will.” He said softly, reaching for my hand which i pulled away.

“Easy for you to say. You have the easy way out in case that happens.” I grumbled.

He kissed my forehead and laid beside me. “No I don’t, because I wouldn’t leave.”

I turned away from him, shoving my face into the mattress as I felt his cum sticky between my thighs. “Yeah right…”

“I’m serious….i’m not gonna be like my dad.”

“Alright well, we’re gonna stop talking about this. I’m gonna shower and you can go home so I can die in peace.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re not gonna die. It’s just cum.”

“I’m gay! All I am is dramatic!” I huffed as I felt all flustered now and wanted to get away from him. I stood up and cringed at the feeling of it sliding down my leg now. I awkwardly shuffled to pick up my already cum covered towel just to keep me decent enough to get to the bathroom.

“Can you stop saying that? Because i’m like…not a girl.”

I looked back at him. “Well no fucking shit, Johnny. It’s just a blanket term because you wouldn’t understand everything I identify as. Just roll with it. I don’t have time to explain.”

I grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom, locking the door tight. I tossed off my towel and turned on the water, sitting in the tub under the spray so i could suffer in silence. Eventually i ended up plugging the drain so i could sit in hot water for a bit and try and calm my nerves. I tried calling Quinn but didn’t get an answer, even texted them and still got nothing. They were still probably up Jaehyun’s ass or Taeil or someone else. I don’t know. I dialed again and waited patiently.

“Hello?”

“Doyoung, I need you please.”

“Be right there.”

He hung up as that was all he needed to know that something was wrong. I washed up, making sure to get as much of the cum out of me as possible, then rinsed and dried off. As i opened the bathroom door, Johnny was standing in the doorway, hand raised as he was going to knock. I glared at the lit blunt between his lips.

“’M leavin’.”

“Good. Bye. I have someone else coming over.”

He scoffed. “Wow. Okay. Fuck you too.” He turned away from me and headed towards my front door slamming it harshly behind him.

He made me so fucking irritated with his hot and cold bullshit. I trudged to my room and tossed my towel in the hamper, picking up my discarded pajamas and putting them back on. Around 15 or so minutes later Doyoung was in my room with an absolute cringey look on his face. “Look, i’m sorry but i needed someone to tell. You and Quinn are my closest friends and they’re not here. Please Doyoung…i know it’s gross.”

“You liked it…” he whispered.

“Please don’t remind me. I hate myself completely.”

“Why do you keep doing this, Eri? You are literally worth more than that.”

“I don’t know! I wish I knew. I wish I could just leave him but I can’t. Every time I’m mad, he shows me that side of him that I absolutely love.”

“That’s emotional manipulation.”

“It is not!” I protested. “Well…uh…maybe it is? But I don’t think he would be doing it intentionally? Why would he? He can get with anyone. He has gotten with a lot of people. I don’t think I would be any different. After all he blatantly said i’d never be his girlfriend.”

“And how did you feel about that?”

“I cried. Instantly. It hurt so fucking bad.”

“So we’ve come to the conclusion that a) he’s a fuckboy, b) he doesn’t want to be with you, c) he’s emotionally manipulative, and d) he couldn’t care less about what transpired tonight.” Doyoung gave me a shady look which made me shrink away like a scolded puppy.

“Well technically he said he would be there for me and then I kicked him out so…”

“And now you’re sticking up for him?”

“I’m not! I’m just stating facts. Doyoung, i know you’re totally and completely right. But i just…it feels weird. It feels different somehow.”

“I’m kind of sick of giving you advice and you ignoring it. It makes it seem like you don’t even care what I say.”

“No i do!” I grabbed onto his arm, sadly. “I do! i swear! I’m just a fucking idiot. I like to fuck up everything and keep myself down.”

“Why can’t you see that there are better people for you? Even ones that are right in front of you?”

I rested my head on his shoulder and set my hand in his, squeezing tight. “Doyoung, how can I…how can I stop when i love him?”

“It’s not easy to stop loving someone but…no offense- well a little offense because this is going to be hard to hear- you stopped loving Jungwoo because he loved you too much, you can stop loving Johnny because you love him too much too. You can run away and leave without giving him any explanation.”

I pulled away from Doyoung completely.

“I’m sorry for saying that and hurting you, but maybe it’s the kind of shit you need to snap out of it.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And if you’re so worried about what might happen I can go to the pharmacy for you.”

“I-i just need time to think…” i said quietly.

“Well, you’ve got three days until it’s ineffective-or less effective or whatever. You can let me know ok?”

I nodded and felt him crush me to his chest. I held onto him for a long time, happy to feel a friends pure love rather than the tainted mess from my heart.

–

Johnny’s POV

“FUCKING SHIT!” I threw the beer bottle I just finished against my wall, watching it shatter into pieces. What the actual fuck just happened between Eri and I? Tonight was fucked up- no, beyond fucked up to the point where I just ended up more confused and angry then I was before. I paced back and forth across my room while thoughts zoomed in my brain. I tried to break everything down and figure out what i could so I could attempt to get my mind straight.

I was pissed off at Taeyong. He was such a smug little fuck about hooking up with Eri, blasting it all over the chat. And why were they counting how many times they hooked up with her like it was some sort of game? I didn’t want him anywhere near Eri. She was mi-. I stopped pacing for a moment. She wasn’t mine. She is not yours Johnny. She is NOT yours.

My pacing resumed. He didn’t deserve to touch her. And neither did those other assholes. I wanted her to myself. She’s mi-. As i grew close to the door i slammed my head against it, not too hard but enough to try and get it through my skull that Eri was not mine.

I had told her she would never be my girlfriend because I was angry. I knew it hurt her the second it came out of my mouth and I wished I could’ve taken it back. Our conversation was so back and forth she probably thought I was crazy. One minute I was mad, the other I wanted to be with her, comfort her, be inside her and make her feel good. I didn’t want her to feel like shit because of me but I was failing horribly.

What even possessed me to touch her like that? So slow and gentle? It felt like I was having an out of body experience and I watched who I wanted to be for her come out and take over. It was what I wanted to give her for the longest time. Something more stable to hold onto rather than whatever the fuck I was now. But that didn’t go over so well for my feelings. I was faded and more emotional than ever, a bad combination. I wanted to tell her what I felt for her but i don’t even think i’m too sure myself. Feelings were there but what kind? Did I have a crush? I liked her? Wanted to keep being fuck buddies? Did I love her? My body shuddered at the thought. I had never been in love before so how could I know?

I’ve always wanted to be in love and have someone to care about. I knew familiar love and friendship love but not romantic love. I wanted to take my girlfriend to the beach, to Korea, to visit countries across the globe. Take pictures of us for vacation scrapbooks and eat everything we could ever dream of. Go hiking with her and hold her hand so she wouldn’t trip on a branch and hurt herself. Laugh when we thought of a memory we had together or hold her as she cried. But i was also scared shitless of all of that. Could I even be that good of a person to her? I didn’t want to end up being a carbon copy of my dad. Why would I want to be the cause of my love’s suffering and leave them behind with a kid I didn’t care about?

Fuck.

The stupid condom.

I tossed myself onto my bed and groaned. I was scared of that too. I’m only 23 and work at a fucking coffee shop, what the hell was I gonna do with a kid? I’m sure we were gonna be okay but…it still made me a little queasy. Except for the fact that I thought cumming inside her was fucking hot. I was a complete jackass for thinking about it at a time like that but I couldn’t help it. Like me: worried to all hell and back about the condom breaking, also me: holy hell I want to do it again. I facepalmed myself and let out another frustrated groan. I was ready to just throw myself out a window rather than face my embarrassment and mistakes. Now Taeyong was probably going to be up her ass and I swear to god if he got with her I was personally going to go to his apartment and kick his ass.

I sat up and started taking off my clothes, figuring I could just sleep all this shit away and ignore it. I flung everything to a corner of my room and reached over to shut off my desk lamp. I noticed my little keychain that I had got at the bookstore resting on the desk. I picked it up and shut off the light before snuggling deep under the blankets. I kept the keychain close to me thinking of nothing but Eri as I went to sleep.

A week had passed since that weird half fight/half fuck between us and I was starting to get a taste of my own medicine. I hated not hearing from her and I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if by chance I missed anything. She hadn’t even posted on any of her social media that I followed her on. Whenever I would hang out with the guys at lunch none of them talked about her, not even Lucas. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to keep myself busy with school work but found myself thinking of her more than I needed too. Sometimes those thoughts implanted little sinister buds of sinfully delicious fantasies and in the midst of being hurt and confused about where we stood I was jacking off to thoughts of her more than I needed too. It was multiple times a day, whenever I was at home and it was starting to get on my nerves. I shouldn’t have been thinking about her like that when I was the cause of most of this mess but it couldn’t be helped. I was a stupid slut and would rather focus on that then the pain I caused her. I was in the middle of rutting against my hand and mattress only a few seconds away from cumming when my phone beside my pillow lit up. The brightness in the darkness of my room distracted me and I look at the screen, ready to ignore the notification until I saw who it was from. I wiped my hand on my sheets and snatched my phone up, unlocking it and going to the message.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: hey

I typed in my simple response quickly.

Hey

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over

Fuck…did she actually want to hook up?

What for babe?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: we need to talk.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: asap

Talk about what?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: come over and i’ll tell u dumbass

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I mean it

Give me like 15 mins. Im busy

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: fine but dont keep me waiting.

I bit my lip and set my phone aside. It made me nervous to think about what she wanted to talk with me about. A small part of me was hoping that I could still get laid and have amazing makeup sex. But first…

–

Eri’s POV

I hated that I had to do this. With every fiber in my entire being. It was definitely up there with one of the worst decisions I would have to make. I didn’t want to talk to him or even make him think that I had forgiven him. I had purposefully ignored him like he had done to me so many times before. Even when he sent me the occasional text I left him on read. It felt good to have that power but I had to cut my reign of terror short when I realized that my problem needed a solution and fast. Time was running out and I exhausted all my resources. I knew I was going to regret this but it had to be done. My stomach was in knots as I waited for him. 15 minutes was a lie, it was over a half hour before he showed up at my place. His hair was damp and he smelled of fresh cologne and soap. I stared at him quizzically when I opened the door. He smiled at me, looking like he was happy to see me while I was mortified to see him. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy either. Just a white crew neck and some skinny jeans and winter coat but he still looked so damn good. Stupid fucker.

“Sooo…” he started, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit. I yanked him into my apartment and dragged him towards my room, slamming the door behind us. “Oh shit, ok.” He grabbed at his shirt, about to take it off when I stopped him.

“No! None of that!” I swatted at his hands. “That’s not what I called you over here for.”

“Oh…” he said, dejected.

I rolled my eyes. “Look, i don’t have any other choice. You were the last person on my list, so don’t like flatter yourself.”

“What is going on? You’re making me suspicious.”

I sighed. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Oh jesus christ no, not what I meant!!

“Excuse me WHAT?!” He screamed.

“AHHH FUCK, I MEANT PRETEND. PREEEETENND. PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!!” I tried to correct myself.

“AGAIN, WHAT, AND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THE FUCK?!”

“Ugh! Okay okay, back peddling.” I took a deep breath trying not to fuck this up even more than I already had. “Just hear me out ok?”

“You better start talking asap, bro!”

“I need someone to come with me to my sister’s Quinceanera this weekend. I have literally asked every single one of my guy friends and they’re all "conveniently” busy. I seriously need help.“

"Why can’t you take Quinn or something?!”

I sighed. “Johnny, if I show up with a girl as my date my grandparents would disown me and it would make a huge scene at the party and I can’t take that away from Dani. My family has this thing where they obsess over asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. I’m the oldest cousin so according to them I should be married and pregnant by now. My mom tries her best to keep them at bay but if I just show up with someone they will at least be civil for this party. Please. I don’t have anyone else. I wouldn’t be asking you this if it wasn’t a huge deal for me.”

“Well that sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.”

I was shocked that that was actually his response. It was a good effort I guess but I was stuck doing this alone. I hoped to all hell nothing would happen that would ruin this for my little sister. It was completely stupid that my family judged me based on who I loved or wanted to be with, that every question about my life had to revolve around me having a man. It always started with a blanket question, one that seemed innocent enough, but then veered into “when will you get a boyfriend?” territory. Not only that but I still had to be on the down low whenever I was with them. Dani knew and so did my mom who was still working to be supportive but that was it. I knew I couldn’t tell other people in my family. If I went alone I could just suck it up and be miserable the whole time which at this point looked to be my only option. “Sorry to bother you…” I said as i sat down at my desk. I lowered my head onto the top and tried to figure out a way to smooth things over with my family for one night.

“Eri…is this really that serious?”

I raised my head up and looked at him. “Yes. I just want things to go right with this, for her sake. I’m literally the black sheep of the family. I’m darker than everyone, my hair is curlier, i’m queer, i play in a heavy metal band, i’m not ultra feminine, and i’m as far away from traditional as possible.” I tried again to convince him. It was turning out to be more pathetic than I hoped for. “I will promise, like absolutely promise, to be nice and civil with you if you do this for me. Please Johnny?”

“What do I get in return?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Whatever you want. I’m too desperate to fight you on this.”

“Anything I want? You’re serious?” He asked. I could almost see the deviousness going on in his head and instantly regretted it. But I swallowed my pride.

“Anything.”

“Ok. I’ll think about what I want and let you know. I gotta dress up or something?”

“So you’ll do it?” I practically jumped out of my chair.

“Yeah, i’ll do it.”

“Fuck, you stupid bastard! You’re the best!” I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. “It’s tomorrow night. We have to drive two hours to get to where I live. It won’t end until late so we can get a motel if we’re too tired to drive back.”

“A motel, huh?”

“Don’t even start, please.” I went to pull away but he set his hand on the small of my back, keeping me close.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” He lowered his head towards mine, getting dangerously close to my lips. I swallowed hard.

“W-well…wear something nice and don’t be an asshole. Um…pretend like I’m the greatest thing to ever grace your life? Hold my hand or something…or hold me in general. Follow all my lies and try to remember them. Be prepared to be grilled by every woman in my family and subject to a bunch of sexist and misogynistic comments from my stupid uncles. They’ll be some kids there running around and loud ass music. Um…you may have to dance with me.”

“Oof…I’m not a great dancer.”

“It’s fine, i don’t dance much either. Oh and don’t get drunk. Oh! And don’t let me get drunk. I think that’s the gist of it. I may think of other stuff on the way there. Is that all ok?”

He cupped my face in his hand while the other held mine. He lowered himself to my lips and kissed me gently, barely teasing my tongue with his own and making my heart feel like it was about to burst. When he pulled away my lips kept following him not wanting to let go. He chuckled softly and looked directly at me. “Mi amor, siento que no puedo vivir sin ti.”

I shoved him away. “BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

He cackled loudly, clutching at his stomach. “Is that “boyfriend” enough for you?”

“Where the hell did you pull that from?!”

“You said it’s a Quinceanera right? I figured I could put my 6 years of Spanish class to good use. How’d I do?” He was still laughing up a storm while I was ready to call off the whole thing. I couldn’t believe he would be able to possibly understand my stupid family.

“How much do you know?” I asked.

“Enough. I’ll mess up every now and again but I think i could pull off a conversation if I needed to.”

“Christ. Ok…If they say something to you just pretend you don’t know anything. I know they’re gonna talk shit and then you can come back and tell me. That’s all we’re gonna do, ok? Ok. I’m gonna throw up.”

“Why? I won’t mess this up, okay? I know she’s important to you. We’ll be civil remember?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you, Johnny. Seriously.”

He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “It’s cool. So what time is my hot date picking me up?”

“Probably around 4, i’m sure I’ll need to help set up and stuff. And help with makeup. We can get dressed at the motel because I do not want to walk in heels in the snow and i also don’t want to mess up my dress. Where I live my mom said that the snow is more melted and they have clearer sidewalks so I should be good there.”

“Alright, sounds good…so…what’s our plan for tonight?”

I raised my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I came all the way here and I figured we might…We could practice for being a couple tomorrow.”

“You’re going to give me a bunch of hickies and I can’t have that.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. All you do is bite and scratch like a little chihuahua.” He laughed.

I stomped my foot down and huffed. “I am not a little chihuahua!”

“How about I make them where everyone can’t see? Then we won’t have any problems, hmm?”

I crossed my arms and pursed my lips together, hating how devilishly convincing he could be. He was a natural born flirt and it made me want to punch him. I nibbled my bottom lip contemplating if I should really give him the satisfaction. He pulled his coat off and yanked his shirt over his head, showing me his perfectly toned chest and how low slung his jeans were. Asshole. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close so we could crash our lips together. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me, shoving his tongue past my teeth and coaxing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him down so I could roll on top of him. “What’s the real reason you were late?” I asked as I dug my nails into his stomach.

“Jacking off.” He grabbed at my tshirt and tried pulled it up but I shoved his hands away and pinned his wrists down.

“I knew it, pig.”

“You act like you don’t do it. How many times have you showed me what you like doing when you’re alone, hmm? When we facetime and I call you late at night?” He teased.

“Shut up, Johnny. You’re so fucking annoying.” I dove my head down to bite at his chest, leaving harsh kisses in my wake. He tried moving his hands but i kept him pinned, liking the fact that he was the one squirming for once. I moved just a bit lower to land a few bites before licking through the center of his chest and up his throat. His entire body practically caved in on itself with how hard he shuddered.

“Fu-fuck…” He licked his lips and tossed his head back, moaning deeply. I blushed as I watched, feeling myself become victim to how good he looked. I resisted the urge to suck on his neck and went back to his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth. I knew this would truly make him squirm but i didn’t expect how hard his hips would buck. I moved my head away from him to over hover his face.

“You’re not being a very good boy are you?”

He opened one eye to glare at me. “When am I ever?”

“I think I should stop. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Oh don’t you play that game with me, Eri! That’s not fair!”

I moved away from him completely and made my way over to open my bedroom door. “Out.”

He sad up with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re kidding?!”

“You’re being bad so you get nothing. C'mon now.”

“I’ll be good then! Whatever the fuck that means!”

I shook my head. “I’ll pick you up at 4, ok?”

“Fuckin’ hell!” He got up, his jeans visibly tighter and pulled his shirt back over his head. He grabbed his coat and made his way out of my room with the biggest pout on his face. Just as he had stepped out of the door frame he turned back to me. “Can I ask you something?” He propped his forearm above his head on the frame and looked down at me.

“What?”

“Besides us freaking out…did you…did you like it when I came inside you?

My entire face felt like it was on fire and took a step back as if that would somehow prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "I-i-i-i have n-noooo idea what you’re t-talking about!” I stuttered.

“I mean, did you like the way it felt inside you? Like how hot or how deep it was?”

“Please stop talking!” My voice was now a squeaky whisper.

Johnny smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it? See ya tomorrow, Eri. And don’t forget, you owe me one.” He winked at me and headed towards my front door, leaving me more flustered than ever.

–

I spent the whole two hour ride telling him about which one of my aunts would grill him the most and which cousin got pregnant first and who’s baby daddy was a complete failure and which of my uncles was most likely to get drunk and cause a scene. I was sure he wouldn’t remember any of it but I was trying to over prepare him for the shit show that was my family. I also needed him to make a good impression so it would look like he was actually happy to be dating me. Fake dating me of course. We checked into the motel first and I spent most of my time being frustrated with my hair and trying to curl it the way I wanted it. It just barely cooperated and i wasted about half a can of hairspray trying to keep everything in place.

My makeup was more softer and neutral than normal to go with my pastel pink floor length sweetheart neckline dress (which made me feel lowkey so pretty). Dani’s theme colors were pink and mint so I was able to at least wear something I would like. Just as i had slipped on my gown i realized there was no way I could reach the zipper in the back. I huffed and squirmed, trying my damndest until I finally gave up. I opened the bathroom door just a crack and peeked out. My heart basically exploded and I wouldn’t normally say that my basement could flood in two seconds but this was definitely one of those times.

Johnny was checking himself out in the large mirror on the other side of the room. He wore black pinstripe pants that hugged his ass like a dream. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled to the elbows and a fitted grey vest covered his torso. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, fussing with it until he seemed comfortable enough. He had an extremely nice watch on one wrist and a silver chain bracelet on the other. A few simple rings decorated his fingers and his black dress shoes seemed to sparkle in the fluorescent lighting. His hair was even freshly faded and his bangs trimmed and slicked back. Lord have mercy I wanted to die. I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before I called out to him.

His honey brown eyes shot up to look at me and I gripped the handle of the bathroom door tighter. “What?”

“Could you um…help me zip my dress?”

He sauntered over to me I tried to keep myself within the tiny gap of the open door but he pushed it open leaving me exposed to all of his handsome glory. He found the zipper and slid it up slowly, making sure the fabric didn’t get caught in it. “Do you want me to tie the sash thing too?” I nodded meekly and felt his hands smooth over the fabric under my chest and slide back to gather the ends to tie into a bow. It was such a simple thing to do but it had my body turning warmer by the second. I caught him looking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the sink once he was done. He looked shocked, licking his lips as if he was trying to say something but not being able to get anything out. I turned my head back towards him.

“Do I…do I look okay?”

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, you look alright.”

“Oh…” I said softly. Just alright.

“I mean like you look good, you know? Um…yeah, real good.”

I avoided looking at him as I slipped out the bathroom. I didn’t have that much time left before we had to head over and I still had to wiggle my feet into heels that I was sure would break my ankles as soon as I got into them. I struggled to get them strapped around my ankles, huffing when my boobs got in my way as I doubled over to reach my feet. I sat down at the small desk and tried to angle myself another way but it was still just as frustrating. “Need help with that too?” He asked.

I nodded, defeated and he came in front of me, landing on one knee. He slid my dress up to my thigh and took my foot in his hands, delicately securing the straps around my ankle. I couldn’t help but feel like Cinderella in that moment, even if my so called prince charming was a fuck boy. “Thanks.” I said softly as I stood up. He rose to his feet too and it was weird to almost be face to face with him, instead of staring at his chest.

“Oh, i don’t like this.” He joked. “I’d like you to stay mini sized.”

“Yeah well they won’t be on for long. They’re already killing me. I just need to get through the walk and first dance and then i’m tossing them.” I nibbled my lip for a moment before pressing them to his, which seemed to catch him a little off guard. “Hmm, it’s nice to not have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss you.”

“Hm, let’s hope that walk goes fast. I don’t like those heels either.” He smiled at me and offered his arm. “Ready now?”

I grabbed my clutch from atop the desk and nodded. “You have the room key right?”

“Yep.” We headed out of the room and towards the parking lot to my car. “You know, the pastel pink is really nice with your skin tone.”

I straightened up at his compliment. “You really think so?”

He opened the door to my car and lead me to sit down. “I know so.”

I laughed nervously. “A-are you practicing your boyfriend skills?” I tried to make it sound like a joke but he just shrugged and went over to the passenger side to get in. I swallowed hard and clicked my seat belt into place before revving up the engine. “Oh, remember how I said if I told you my government name I’d have to kill you?”

“Yeah?”

“Well you’re going to hear it tonight and if you so much as ever repeat it you won’t have a dick, got it?”

“Why not? It can’t be that bad!”

“Trust me, it definitely is.”

–

“ERIANNALISSE!”

I cringed. I cringed hard and wanted to shrink away into a minuscule molecule and be non existent. I didn’t even want to look at Johnny to see what he was going to say. I could practically hear him trying to cover up his snickers. I sighed and put on a fake smile as my aunt came to me with arms wide open to capture me in a death grip hug that could snap my spine in half. “Ay, mija! Look at you, you look so pretty!” She paused. “Have you gained weight?”

“Nice to see you too, Titi.” I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her shade. Her eyes went over to Johnny, looking him up and down and squinting her eyes a bit.

“Eriannalisse, quien es este?” She asked who Johnny was.

I grabbed onto his arm, digging my nails into his bicep. “This is my….boyfriend, Johnny.”

He waved and grimaced through my death grip. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Hm…” Was all my aunt said. “Titi Carmen has been wanting to see you. I’m sure she’d want to meet…Johnny.”

“Yeah, i’ll go see her in a bit! I have to find mami and Dani first.”

My aunt kissed both of my cheeks and left to go join the gossiping group of women in my family who all suddenly turned their gazes from their champagne flutes to Johnny and I. I turned my back towards them and looked up at Johnny. “I will literally pay you .25 cents to kill me. Just make it quick.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Eriannalisse. What’s the worst that could happen?” He smirked and laughed a bit which made me frown.

“Johnny, I told you don’t call me that. I’m serious. They can call me that because they don’t recognize who I am as a person. You can’t.”

“O-oh…is it a gay thing? Like one of your gay things that you won’t explain to me?”

I sighed and looked down at my feet. “Yeah, sort of. I’ll explain it to you eventually. Just not now ok?”

He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Ok, i’m sorry. I won’t say it again.” He leaned down just a bit and gave me a soft (rated PG) kiss which made me smile.

“It’s just hard being around them…I wish it would be a fun time but-” I suddenly heard vicious clacking before arms were thrown around my shoulders.

“ERIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” I recognized the overly excited voice and looked up at my modelesque baby sister. “I missed you so much!”

I kissed her cheek and turned around to properly hug her. “Hey, happy birthday.”

“You’re like almost my height!” She said, looking down at my heels. Dani was so graciously blessed with being 5’8”, skinny, with straighter hair and caramel skin as opposed to my milk chocolate. Her eyes were the perfect shade of hazel with flecks of green that sparkled perfectly. She was only my half sister as our fathers were different but we were raised both the same, save for the fact that she was a model and I was the throw away. “You look so pretty. I’m glad you’re not in black- Yooooooooooo, who is THIS!?” Her attention turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and mouth practically watering.

“Uh…hey.” he said sheepishly.

“This is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

Dani laughed and slapped my shoulder. “No, really!? Who is he?”

I pouted. “I’m serious. He’s my boyfriend.”

Dani looked at me then stepped up to Johnny. “What’s her favorite color?”

“Pastel pink.” He answered.

“Favorite food?”

“Pizza…and pasta.”

“What instruments can she play?”

“Guitar, and she sings.”

“What’s her favorite anime?”

“Sailor Moon.”

Dani squinted her eyes. “When’s her birthday?”

Fuck, he didn’t know that. I grabbed Dani’s arm, trying to get her attention from ruining our facade. “Dani, can you not grill him please? It’s bad enough Titi Lisa and probably Titi Carmen are talking shit about us already. Also, I haven’t told mom yet.”

“You haven’t told mom yet?! How long have you been dating?”

“It’ll be four months in December.” Johnny added. “We started dating right when the semester started. We have a class together and I thought she was cute so,” He shrugged. “Here we are.”

“Yeah but you’re hot. Eri has never dated anyone this hot before.”

“Well gee, thanks Dani! And i’ve dated cute people before!”

“Yeah cute, not hot. He’s hot. If you’re not going to keep him, I’ll take him.”

“You’re fifteen!” Johnny and I said at the same time.

Dani shrugged. “I mean…”

I held my hand up. “Don’t even go there. He’s like-” How old was Johnny anyway? “Way older than you. Stop being an instagram thot for once. Where’s mami? I need to know when she wants us to line up and start this.”

“I think at 8 exactly, but she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’ve just been chilling with my friends for now. This dress weighs like 50 pounds and I’m sweating like a whore in church.” Dani fanned at herself and hiked up the bodice of her dress. I looked at her poofy dress that was a beautiful array of soft Monet colors but way too 90’s barbie cake topper. It wouldn’t have been my first choice but I was sure mami wanted it to look as traditional as possible. “Oh, by the wayyyy, I know you have a boyfriend now but mami invited Josue.”

I straightened up completely when I heard that name. Josue was my childhood crush. He was older than me and I never stood a chance with him but we always played together. Once we kissed in my backyard and told me that he wanted to play house with me and be the daddy. I had been in love with him up until I was 12 when he moved away to a different state. “Jo-Josue? He’s coming? Here? Tonight?” I squeaked.

“Who’s Josue?” Johnny interjected.

“Josue is Eri’s big ol’ crush from when she was younger. All they did was play house together and be mommy and daddy and make kissy faces at each other. Then they kissed for real and he touched her chichi’s! But they never lived happily ever after because he moved away.”

“Dani, por favor, why do you have to be like this? I’m just happy to know he’s going to be here. I haven’t even seen him in like…almost 7 years. Besides I’m with Johnny now so it doesn’t matter.” I forced his arm around my waist and he clutched onto it tightly.

“Uh-huh whatever. Have you not followed him on Insta? There’s a lot of nice gym pictures. He hit a growth spurt. He’s like 6”3’ now.”

I swallowed hard. “Really? O-oh wow…”

“Sounds like a tool.” Johnny scoffed. “Ya’ll got beer at this place?”

Dani nodded towards the bar at the back of the venue. “Just fight my uncles off before they drink them all.”

“Cool.” He dipped out completely, leaving me and my sister to be swept away by our mother who had just stepped in like she was out of breath. She hustled to get us all lined up and ready like a bridal party ready to walk down the aisle. I sighed as I stayed in place, shuffling a bit as my feet already started to hurt. My mind started wandering to my childhood crush. Memories started bubbling to the surface; he had been my first kiss, the first to get to second base, and the first person I had wanted to be my boyfriend. He was three years older than me and I didn’t stand a chance with him. But his name was written all over my notebooks until I got my first girlfriend.

I couldn’t help but peek around a bit, wondering if he was already in the venue. I didn’t have much time to investigate as our entrance music started playing and pair by pair we walked into the main dance floor. I was walking with one of my younger cousin’s who I rarely spoke with so I barely paid attention. He had to yank me back a bit when I walked too fast and it made me want to punch him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny leaning against the back wall nursing a beer and watching me intensely. I smiled in his direction, letting him know I was still trying to be civil but he just took another sip and shoved his hand into his pocket. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose or if he genuinely didn’t see me. I chewed on my bottom lip almost getting swept up in my thoughts, that was until I saw Dani walking into the room.

Even though I had seen her just minutes ago now that all eyes were on her she looked sparkling and glowing. I’d never seen her look so beautiful before and it brought tears to my eyes that I tried wiping away as soon as they surfaced. I was a proud sibling then. She meant so much to me that I hoped that this day always reminded her of the happiest times she had in her life. We had our ups and downs but for the most part I was always there for her as much as she was there for me. She embarrassed me and I made sure I had to keep her in place before she got too out of hand. Even though I was far away from home now, I knew we would always remain close.

The floor was hers now and we dispersed to let her have the spotlight. I retreated to one of the circular tables while her and our mom shared a dance. It was normally meant for a daughter and her father but since neither of us had them in our lives our mother was the one who deserved to have that dance. I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned to see Johnny sitting behind me at the table. “Want some?” He said, offering the beer which i denied.

“I hate that kind. I’ll leave you too it.”

“She looks nice.”

“She’s a little shit but I love her.”

“I could say the same about you.”

I whipped my head around to stare at him wide eyed. “W-what?”

“I meant like you’re chill! Like i like you. Not like like you but like we’re cool. Uh…you know.” I stammered.

“Right…yeah, um…ok.”

“You wanna dance?!” He said, changing the subject quickly. Dani and my mother had finished their sentimental dance and the dj had switched to some reggaeton/trap mix Dani most likely requested.

“Uh, you mean make a fool out of ourselves?”

He shrugged and chugged down the rest of the beer in a few gulps. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. My cousins were already grinding with whoever they invited or dancing in groups and laughing. We could probably blend in without being too weird. I kicked off my heels and stood up, extending my hand for him to take. I should’ve had a drink before I even agreed to this. My stomach was already in knots and my anxiety was making me feel like I was going to look stupid but he took my hand and we found a spot in a little corner of the dance floor. I stood in front of him waiting for him to make a move but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Why the hell did he keep doing that? Was it a nervous habit?

“So…” he said.

“Are you gonna like…move?”

“I’ve never danced to this sort of music. What do I do?”

“Literally it’s the same as rap music in english. You just sorta…” I gestured towards my family. “Grind on each other and act a fool.”

“So you turn around and just like put your ass against me?”

“Oh my God, have you never done that before?”

“Listen I was a dork and went to high school with a bunch of white kids and we like listened to Ke$ha and Britney Spears. What do you want from me?” He laughed.

“That’s unfortunate.” I joked. I turned around so my back was against his chest and I set his hands on my hips. “I’m not the best but I figure I can put my ass to use.” I worked myself back against him, swaying to the music a bit in hopes of getting him to respond.

Instead he laughed nervously and held my waist tighter. “How do people not get boners doing this?”

“I mean that’s what the song 'Too Close’ is about. Don’t tell me this is turning you on already.” I teased.

He lowered himself to face level and turned my head towards his to kiss me. I held it for a bit, enjoying the way the warmth of his tongue flowed over mine until I realized if my mom caught me doing this my ass would be grass. I pushed him back gently. “Johnny! I can’t do that. Behave!”

“C'mon, I at least need to have a little bit of fun while I’m here. And then when we get back to the motel we can-”

I felt a tap on my shoulder then. Johnny and I both looked up to see a tall, absolutely golden, green eyed adonis that looked like he could pick me up and toss me around in an instant. If I could have heart eyes I definitely would. I let go of Johnny instantly, almost pushing him away as my heart started to skip beats.

“Eri!” I knew it was him instantly even if puberty hit him like a freight train and gave him a deep bass-y voice that made my hair stand on end. He opened his arms to scoop me up and crush me to his barrel chest which smelled of high priced cologne. My feet dangled just a bit when he lifted me. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Oh my god, Josue…Jesus, you’re huge.” God I hoped he was huge everywhere.

He laughed and I tried not to show how much it affected me. “Oh yeah, I’m really into that health and fitness thing. You really uh…wow. Definitely not a teeny bopper anymore.” He set me back down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket.

“Yep! Got bigger boobs now, haha!” Why did I say that? WHY???

He licked his lips a smiled a bit. “I can definitely see that.”

Johnny cleared his throat deeply. Josue turned his attention to the man behind me. “Oh hey, I’m Josue. Who are you?”

“I’m her boy-”

“This is just Johnny!” I interjected with a nervous laugh. “Just Johnny! Want to go get something to drink? We can catch up!”

Josue flashed his incredibly perfect teeth. “Yeah I’d love that.” He set his giant hand against the small of my back ushering me away from Johnny.

“Eri!” Johnny said sternly.

“I’ll just be quick!” I mouthed to him, letting myself get whisked away. He didn’t seem too happy about that but I could let him sulk for a bit. I was too preoccupied at the moment anyway.

–

Johnny’s POV

That was fucked up. Way more than fucked up and I was pissed off beyond belief. She was the one who begged me to come with her so she would survive her family. Now she was head over heels for some dude she had a crush on years ago who looked like the biggest douchebag to ever exist. He was taller than me and more built, had perfect teeth and no lisp. I wanted to punch him dead in the jaw.

I didn’t know what to do now. If I went after her it might cause a scene which I didn’t completely want. I still knew that this party was important to her sister and unlike her I wasn’t being an asshole for once. I could get another drink and maybe get away with being a little tipsy but her loud uncles were hogging up the space and the bartender’s attention. I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. my arms crossed as I contemplated leaving her and going back to the motel by myself.

"What are you pouting for?!” Dani said as she plopped down next to me, her poofy dress seeming to expand.

“Nothing.”

“Where’s Eri?”

“With precious Josue.” I said bitterly.

“Ah, so he finally found her. I knew he would.” She drummed her nails on the table thinking over her next statement. “You’re not dating my sister are you?”

“It’s complicated…”

“You’re fuck buddies?”

“Yes.”

“I figured as much. She can’t never lie right when it comes to me. So, you’re in love with her then?”

I snapped my head towards her. “Excuse me?”

“You’re in love with her right? I mean that’s the only reason you would be sulking over her because Eri went off with her new papi.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not sulking.” She was definitely Eri’s sister with how she blurted out things without consequence.

“Look, if you want to win her over you need to definitely do something that will make her remember you. Not that I want to hear about my sister’s sex life or even think about her getting p or v action, but if you got something she might like, go for it. And do it before she ends up going to Josue’s hotel.” She craned her neck to see where Eri and that asshole had gone off too. “Looks like he may have already given her his number.”

I looked in the same direction, my anger only getting stronger. They were huddled over their phones, laughing, with Eri casually (but noticeably) keeping her hands on him. I didn’t want to “win her over”. I wanted to stake my claim and tell him to fuck right off. The grip on my biceps got tighter the more I stared at them. “Ay, you got a younger brother?”

I turned my attention back to Dani, a bit grateful that she was distracting me enough to not go apeshit. “What? No? I’m an only child.”

“Wack. But like if you’re not gonna date Eri then likeeee…”

“You’re fifteen! I’m not going to jail nor am I interested.”

“Ok, ok…but like do you have any younger friends? What flavor Asian are you? Chinese? Or like them ones that dance on tv? The um…the Korean ones!”

“Oh my God.” I ran a hand over my face. “Yes I’m Korean. And no I don’t have any friends your age. My only young friend in Toronto is 18, which is still illegal.”

“Dammit. You know Eri be listening to that stuff right?”

I pulled out my phone, wanting her to take a hint that she was now annoying me without being too rude. “Doesn’t surprise me when she fucks half of Asia.”

“All her hookups are with Asian guys?”

“As far as I’m aware. But who fuckin’ knows.”

“Oooohhh I gotta mess with her about that. Guess she trying to get that carribean dick now.” She cackled and slapped my back hard as she got up. “Call me, ok?!” She said as she finally left me to join the gaggle of teenage girls that were her friends.

I rubbed my temples and took a few deeps breaths. I needed a smoke, badly. I looked to see if Eri was still stuck to Josue’s side but they were nowhere to be found. I looked around the dance floor trying to see if they might have gone there. Sure enough she was grinding on him now, definitely not as awkward as she had been with me. She was practically bent over and ready to get fucked by him. Fuck it. I stood up and weaved through everyone dancing to make my way over to her. I stood in front of her, watching as she came up from shaking her ass.

“Can we help you?” Josue yelled over the music to me. I rolled my eyes at him and took Eri’s chin in my hand giving her a deep kiss. She stumbled back a bit and gripped onto my vest. When i pulled away i licked my lips, tasting the slight flavor of her lipstick.

“Johnny!” She exclaimed.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, in his macho voice, trying to one up me.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” I grabbed onto Eri’s waist and kept her close to me. “She’s MY girlfriend. You had your fun catching up right?”

“Eri, you didn’t tell me-”

She looked panicked as she glanced between us. “No, wait- It’s just-”

“Come with me.” I growled in her ear. “Now.”

“Johnny , I swear to g-” I kept my arm around her waist and lead her towards the front door of the venue. When we were in the clear she whipped around to face me. “What the actual fuck?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing! You’re really gonna ditch me to throw yourself on him? After you begged me to come here?!”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him! We haven’t seen each other in 7 years! So excuse me if I wanted to talk with him.”

“Hard to talk to him with his dick practically in your mouth! What is wrong with you?!”

“Why are you being such a jerk again! You always do this!” She yelled.

“You’re the one being the jerk this time! I’m fuckin’ pissed. When are we leaving?”

“Leaving?! I have to stay here for at least a few hours! Clearly you don’t know how these go.”

“No, Eri, i fuckin’ don’t. But I do know that you going off with someone else while I’m supposed to be your boyfriend blows our entire cover. So either you fucking act right or I can leave right now. You sister already knows were lying.”

“Fuck!” She stomped her foot and sighed. “I knew she would figure it out. She better not tell anyone.”

“I’m pretty sure she won’t have to with you being stupid. Get me my cigs from your purse wallet thingy.”

“Get you-? Get it yourself! I’m freezing and I’m going back inside. And maybe i’ll still be talking with Josue!”

I grabbed her arm and held onto it. “Eri, do you want to go there? Really want to go there?” My eyes caught hers and i could see how hard she swallowed. Her chest was heaving chest a bit and trembling with the cold.

“What are you going to do?” She sniffled.

“Do you want to find out?”

“M-maybe.”

I let her go then opened the door, guiding her back inside. “Then keep it up. I dare you.”

She stayed quiet then but shuffled ahead of me quickly. I realized I had made her walk outside without her shoes on or our coats but it was whatever at this point. I needed her to know that I wasn’t playing games any more. She was mine.

–*

Eri’s POV

I could barely keep up with Johnny’s long strides from the parking lot to the door of our motel room. He continued his little tyrade of sticking by me and keeping me from Josue, never letting go of my hand, or my waist, even when he went through the ringer of meeting more members of my family. Him being pissed off had me pissed off and it didn’t help when my family told me how fat I looked, or asked when Johnny and I were getting married, or why I had spent so much time in college, or even that what I was studying wasn’t going to get me a real job. It made the entire rest of the night absolutely fucking miserable. Not to mention when I told my mother I was going to spend the night in the motel with Johnny instead of driving home at midnight she blew up on me, saying that it wasn’t right and insisting that I stay at the house. I refused to and I had no idea why she still thought I was some sort of Virgin de Guadalupe or some shit. It was another fight to end this magical night. I gave up and just wanted to take a hot shower, put on my fuzzy pajamas on and possibly smoother Johnny with a pillow as he slept.

Johnny barged into our room, not even bothering to hold the door open for me. I didn’t even want to deal with him since I was still mad at my mother for treating me like a child. I went straight to prepping for my shower, tossing my clutch and fake eyelashes on the desk and my phone on the bed so i could plug it in to charge. I unzipped the dress as best as I could without his assistance and shimmied out of it, leaving it a puddle in front of the bed. I didn’t care anymore. Not one bit. After I showered I pulled the too short towel around me and went back into the shared space. Johnny was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the desk and tie loosened. He was glaring at me and I swallowed hard at the intensity. He dropped his legs and leaned forward in the seat, undoing the first few buttons on his dress shirt.

I tried to ignore the effect he had on me and instead went to my duffel bag to try and find my pajamas. He stopped me as I passed by him, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in front of him. “Ow! What’s your problem now?!” I asked, still trying to clutch onto my towel so it wouldn’t fall.

“This night was complete bullshit. I’m your boyfriend and all you could do was throw yourself onto that guy and embarrass me in front of everyone.”

“I wasn’t throwing myself on him!” I argued again. I hated that he was saying that. So what if I found Josue incredibly attractive and felt like a preteen again as soon as I saw him? That was my business and not Johnny’s.

“You grinded on him, got his number, and had your arms around him for minutes on end. You made me look stupid. I’m your boyfriend, Eri.”

“Fake boyfriend.” I corrected.

“That’s what I meant.”

“Why should you be embarrassed then?!”

“Because your uncles didn’t think that I was man enough to keep you with me. And your aunts talked shit about me all night.” He pressed himself up against me making the edge of the desk dig into my lower back. “You said you were going to be civil and you were far from civil.” He set his hands on either side of my hips, keeping me in place.

“A-ah, Johnny…back u-up.” I whimpered and avoided looking at him but he grabbed my face roughly.

“You wanna try that shit again, Eri? Hmm?”

I could feel his fingers digging harshly into my jaw. “I didn’t do anything wrong! You’re just a jealous prick that-”

He pulled away from me and shoved me back onto the bed, instantly hovering over me. My towel fell open just like my legs and he pinned both my wrists above my head in one of his large hands. I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat increase. I had no idea what had gotten into him and i was partially thinking about what Doyoung had said about Johnny. Was he actually trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad for being with Josue? I bit my lip as I thought, wondering what his next move would be. “Get off me.” I tried to sound strong but it was a pathetic attempt.

“Open.” He demanded.

“W-what?” What the hell did he want? I figured it out quickly as three of his fingers dove down my throat almost making me gag. I squirmed against him, trying to edge my head away but he was adding more of his weight onto me as his fingers plowed into my mouth. His knee was pressed right into my center, the residual wetness from the shower dampening the fabric. I tried swallowing around the invasion when his knee started to rock into me.

“Suck harder, Eri.”

I didn’t dare look at him. His voice was doing something to me as always. Stirring the pot of emotions and hormones that made me fall into a space of complete submission. This wasn’t like his usual ways though throughout or hookups I could see the dominance poking through. Now he was another person that I was desperate to get to know. I tried my best to suck deeper at his fingers, sliding my tongue around them and providing them all the wetness they hopefully needed. I knew exactly where they were going and i was going to be stretched far beyond my imagination. With his thrust his rings kissed my lips, shocking me with a bit of cold and excitement. I edged my tongue around the silver as best I could given the invasion that took up most of my mouth. Slowly the metal warmed up and I pressed my thighs against his, feeling a tingling throughout my center.

He pulled his hand away sharply, making me cough as his glistening fingers dove lower. Two were rushed inside me making my knees jerk up towards my chest and toes curl. I was already crying out his name, wanting him to slow down just enough for me to catch my breath and adjust but he ignored me. Instead he was working in the third finger, forcing my walls to flex and waver around him. He was already digging my arousal out of me. I could hear it so blatantly echoing in our room. I buried my face in my arm beside my head, still being unable to free my hands though I struggled as much as I could. He seemed to like that struggle as his fingers curled deep inside me, knuckles pressing against my entrance, the rings threatening to push past and fill me up too.

“Fuck, Johnny!!!” I cried out as my thighs almost snapped shut. It was starting to be too much and I could feel myself already crawling towards an orgasm.

“Quiet.” Was all he said as he pulled his fingers out to give me some relief from the pressure. I was throbbing and gaping around the stretch he left behind, my whole lower half practically trembling. He finally let me go and sat down on the bed. He splayed his legs open, unzipping his dress pants and beckoning me over to him. “Get over here.”

I shook my head, raising myself to my knees and shrinking myself away. I wasn’t scared of him, far from it. I was definitely turned on more than anything but I wanted to push him further than he had ever been capable of. He wanted to be a jealous boyfriend that pushed my buttons well I was going to push right back. “You’re being a jerk. I’m not giving you the satisfaction, especially after you decided to barge in there with your giant ass fingers!”

He lurched forward and grabbed onto my arm before I could wiggle away. He yanked me to his chest then gripped the back of my neck hard. Our eyes met before he pulled me close to his lips. “I like it better when you don’t talk.”

I squinted at him, almost in shock that he used my own line against me. “You fucker.”

He pressed me down towards his lap though I tried to resist as much as I could. It was no use as he was stronger than me and I was face to face with his growing length trapped within his briefs. His hand was now digging into my hair keeping me firmly in place. I landed a bite to his hipbone making sure he knew I wasn’t too pleased in the way he was handling me. He hissed out my name and arched his hips, his nails digging into my scalp. I wrapped my hand around his, trying to pry his iron grip away while adding kitten licks to the outline of his cock. That seemed to soothe him a little as I heard him exhale through his nose as he relaxed back against the wall. His nails quit marking my skin and he opted to push my hair away from my face gently instead of trying to rip it out.

I slid his briefs back and guided him towards my mouth pressing kisses down the shaft before licking back up to the tip. Once I got to the tip, I took him in, swallowing his head completely. I shifted my hips to raise my ass higher for him to look at knowing it would tease him. I looked up at him and saw the full pleasure that was written across his face. His eyes had closed, his lips pressed together, and his fingers trailing down to open more buttons on his dress shirt. I popped off him and placed kisses up his stomach with each new area that became exposed. “I can tease that little spot that you like.” I smirked and added a slow stroke to his cock.

“Actually, I have a better idea.” He shoved me down onto my back and straddled my shoulders, his cock now hovering above my face. I couldn’t move with his weight on me and I was trapped between his thick thighs. He tapped my lips with his cock which I absolutely hated. I slapped at his stomach but he remained stoic. He only moved to shove himself down my throat, propping one hand against the wall while the other kept my head in place. He worked quickly to rock his hips against my face making me claw at him. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing, even with all of my experience, and it hurt like all hell. I was trying my damnedest not to gag around him but it was impossible given the fact that he was ramming into my throat. My eyes watered and tears fell against my will. My nails dug into his hips as I silently begged for him to slow down.

He was moaning my name, more than he ever had before, completely lost in the pleasure of torturing my throat. He looked fucking amazing, I had to give him that much, even if I hated what he was doing to me. I loved the way his hair was coming undone from the gel he used, the way his dress shirt lay open and his tie dangled above me like an invitation. The way his thighs stretched out his dress pants was a dream and I wanted to touch every part of him. I reached for the thinner end of his tie, pulling roughly so it zipped up to his throat. He lurched back at the sudden pressure and looked down at me. He must have seen my fucked up state because he pulled out, leaving me grossed out by the messy spit that connected us still.

"Fu-fucker. That hurt” I croaked.

He pulled off me completely before lifting me up to sit in his lap. He wiped away my tears and I buried my face in his neck, clutching onto his vest. He kissed at my cheek, pulling me away from hiding. “You ok?”

I sniffled and nodded. He worked his hands over my sides and hips trying to soothe me more. Of course he couldn’t help himself and gripped my ass tight which made me laugh just a bit. “I’ve never done that before…”

“Really?” He asked, surprised.

“Ok, I’m a hoe but like there are some things I haven’t done before. You have to remember you dick is huge, dude. I’m small.”

He gave me soft tender kisses and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I know, princess. I’m sorry. But don’t think you’re getting away with this shit either.”

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. “I stand by the fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Hmm.” Was all he said before he tossed me face down onto the bed. I looked back at him as he discarded the rest of his clothes, dangerously holding his tie in his hand. He mounted me, as I was completely his to take and wrapped the loop of the tie around my wrists, pulling tight. “You like this don’t you?” It was supposed to be a command but I could tell it was mostly an uneasy question and he needed permission to continue.

I nodded and smiled at him. “I like it a lot, daddy.” I gave him a quick kiss sealing my consent. I threw out my rule of not using our titles with one another since he couldn’t actually communicate but in this moment I need him to know that I was his to command and I was giving him as much power as I would allow.

He wrapped the length tie around his fist, keeping a firm hold on it. His other hand jerked my hips up while his knee nudged my legs apart as far as they could go. My ass was raised, arms outstretched, and my body was trembling with excitement. His first thrust was swift and hard. I could hear his hips snap against me and I was barely able to hold myself up in that moment. My arms shook weakly and I dug my fingers into the sheets as my mouth curved into a silent moan. He was almost too deep for me to handle and every slam into me seemed harsher than the last. I couldn’t really keep up. It was overpowering and I wanted to scream my pleasure into the tiny room though I could barely even mumble a word.

My fingers curled as I tried to send tension to my arms instead of my weakening legs. It was useless though and I could feel my stomach tightening. He landed a slap to my ass just as I tried to pull away from him and regroup. I hissed and bowed my head, breathing out his title again. Suddenly, my phone buzzed by my head, the screen lighting up and distracting me. I turned to see who it was and winced. This was the worst time for him to call.

Johnny pressed my head into the mattress and sped up his brutal thrusts. “Why don’t you answer it, Eri? Let him hear how good you’re getting fucked. Tell him who’s really your boyfriend.”

I opened my mouth to say anything but all that came out we’re soft croaks. I panicked when I saw him reach for my phone and I struggled to move to try and block him. “D-dont, please don’t.” I was finally able to say. He let go of his grip on the tie wrapped around my wrists and instead set it around my neck. The call disappeared much to my relief.

“What a shame Eri. Let’s see if he calls back or if he took the fucking hint.” I swallowed hard and nodded, biting into my lip to try and still my moans. He quickly latched his teeth into my neck, sucking deeply like he always did when he wanted to mark me. “Stay on all fours, got it?”

I propped myself back to my elbows as he forced my thighs to rest on the outside of his. I could hear his moan of satisfaction at the sight of me splayed open with his cock stuffed inside me. I wanted to shy away and hide but he wouldn’t let me of course. He resumed his grip on the tie, pulling it taught around my neck and constricting my air flow. My eyelids fluttered and i wondered if this was heaven. Jesus, it felt so amazing even if every muscle in my body felt like it was burning and my insides were a scrambled mess. While he made my back dip by pulling my neck by the tie I felt his other hand slid down from my hips to my wetness, flowing over my clit. I was grateful for the extra attention and wiggled my hips to rock back against him and dive further into his fingers.

His finger started to trail from my clit to dance around my gaping entrance and just like before he pressed the long digit in little by little until it was almost as deep as his cock. I pleaded for him to stop, it was too much, too overwhelming for my overly sensitive walls but he kept working away at my torturous pleasure. That, coupled with his thickness, made the tendons in my legs strain as bliss shot through me. My moans mixed in with my strangled pants as he dared to press a second finger into me.“J-johnny!!” I rasped. “It’s too much!!”

He pressed his body weight harder against me, keeping me pinned so I would have no way from escaping the overstretching. “You’re not going anywhere.” He whispered harshly in my ear, making me shudder. He curled his finger then, the pressure of his knuckles against his cock, and the sliding of his rings against my heated walls made me clench meekly around him. Johnny enjoyed seeing me writhe beneath him, seeing me try and focus on being a good brat when in reality I was starting to unravel into a brainless mess. Nothing had a hold on my attention like the buildup he was creating inside me. I could barely process the words he was saying to me with how fuzzy my senses were. He curled his fingers deeper getting right to the root of my pleasure. The head of his cock was edging as far as it could go within me, his fingers pressed into the perfect spot, and his thumb brought back smalls swipes and circles against my clit. It was a haphazard clusterfuck of intense sensations that all culminated into a harsh orgasm that sent my mind reeling. It felt like my cum rushed out of me, painting my thighs with a deep warmth that was astounding.

I squeezed my eyes shut as my entire frame trembled. My muscles seized, tensed, and finally gave out. I fell forwards, collapsing onto the bed in a breathless heap. My lower half practically felt numb and I tried to concentrate on not passing out. It wasn’t just the physical fatigue, the mental and emotional fatigue of the entire day weighed on me in that moment. My few seconds of recuperation was cut short when Johnny pulled his fingers out of me. I felt another gush then, making me a bit confused as to how wet I really was. It definitely felt different and I could hear Johnny make some remark though his words weren’t registering. He said something else and I nodded weakly, agreeing to whatever he had posed just for me to have the ability to relax soon.

But that was definitely wishful thinking. He yanked me almost to the edge of the bed and continued his brutal fucking. I let him grip onto the back of my thighs as he huffed out growls and moans. He was swelling inside me, making me wince yet encourage him with mumbles that I thought were words. His fingertips dug into me harder and that sweet heat spread throughout my body again. I smiled and relished in the feeling of him pumping into me, slower and slower, until he milked himself completely. I laid there, unmoving and enjoying the way he felt inside me like I always did until I i lost myself in sleep.

–*

Johnny’s POV

I felt her move beneath me and there was a stickiness and sweatiness between us. I groaned as I didn’t really want to move but I needed to break away and get some air. My hand was over hers, my body curled around her, and my cock of course still inside her. It was almost perfect save for the giant wet spot we were forced to lay in because she squirted everywhere. We had both fallen asleep almost immediately after and i just adjusted her in the bed for me to have enough room to spoon her. Now everything made me feel like I needed an hour long shower. I rolled away, letting go of her hand and putting my forearm over my eyes to block out the bright light of the room. How long were we even asleep for?

She mumbled something and groaned, blinking a few times before fully looking at me. “Hey.” She sounded like she had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day for the past 40 years and I cringed at my handiwork. She tried clearing her throat but opted that it was too sore and winced in pain.

“Hey…maybe you shouldn’t talk…” She glared at me and I shuffled a bit away so she wouldn’t attack me.

“I feel gross. Why is everything wet? What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened? We fucked?”

“No, no, I know that. But I was so tired at the end-” She paused to rub at her throat. “I felt like half asleep. It was good though but I was worn out.” She laughed softly.

“Well, you’re welcome for that but like…do you even remember your orgasm?”

She nodded quickly, her smile beaming. “Oh yeah.”

“You squirted everywhere and basically we’ve been laying in the soaked sheets because we’re dumb as fuck.”

“Wait…squirted? No, i can’t do that. I’ve never done that.”

“What do you mean you cant do that? You literally did. Twice. The first time when you had your big one and then when i pulled my fingers out. It was like…not how they make it out to be in porn. Like not some weird super soaker spray but like-”

She held her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t describe it any further. I just…holy shit.”

I pulled out of her slowly, never getting used to that amazing feeling. It got me every time. It also sent my cum dripping out of her which was almost as good of a sight as her squirting. “Fuck…”

She wiggled a bit, a look of discomfort on her face. “What the hell?”

“We’ll now we got my cum on the sheets…” I said, partially annoyed. We really had to get them off this bed.

“DID YOU CUM IN ME AGAIN?!”

Her yelling caught me off guard. “Yes? I asked you this time and you agreed!”

“When?!”

“What do you mean when!?”

“I’m sorry if I was too fucked out and tired to freakin’ listen to you blab during sex! But you can’t be doing that! It freaks me out!!!”

“Hey, i asked to cash in my favor and you definitely said yes so I did it. It is not my fault.” I sat up slowly and inched my way to roll off the bed. “Come on. We need to get these off and I think I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Aren’t you worried at all?” She said softly.

“Me? Not really. I told you it’ll be alright. We’ve got everything covered.” It was a lie but I was blinded by how good it felt sexually and I also didn’t want to make her panic more than she already was. I told myself I’d stop after this one last time and not risk it anymore. She didn’t move and I could tell she was overthinking again. I went over to her and scooped her into my arms, holding her bridal style. “I’ll have you get the shower started while I take care of the bed. She held onto my neck and buried her face in my chest as I walked her into the bathroom, gently setting her down in the tub. “You ok?”

“Y-yeah…” She reached up and pulled me in for a kiss that I held for a long time. It wasn’t deep or passionate but more so intimate and warm. I sighed and cupped her face.

“Go, ok? I’ll be right back.”

I pulled away from her which seemed to be getting harder and harder each time. Even if it was just back into the room it felt like a million miles away. I tore off the soaked sheets, glad that the comforter was still mostly dry, and tossed them in the corner of the room. I said a silent apology to housekeeping and hoped to all hell they wouldn’t look at it directly when they put it in the wash. I padded back to the bathroom and slipped in behind her.

“Turn around.” She said and I gave her a questioning look. She sucked her teeth. “I was just about to get the…stuff out.”

“Eri, i’ve literally seen you every which way. Do you really think I care how you look getting my cum out of you?”

“JUST DO IT.”

I sighed and turned around, picking up the little motel bar of soap and ripping off the plastic. I waited for her to finish, getting impatient about being in the cold spot. “Dude, hurry up.”

“THERE IS A LOT OK? You don’t cum like a normal human being!”

“Apparently neither do you, Splash Mountain.”

‘OH MY GOD. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.”

I snorted and looked back at her. “Can I please get under the water now? I’m freezing.”

She switched spots with me and I finally got under the hot stream, thankful to wash away a whole nights worth of sex. My time under the stream by myself didn’t last long as Eri snuggled up next to me, her hair a soaking mess of waves that framed her face and made her look like a painting of a goddess. “Too cold. I want to be next to you.”

“You big baby.” I joked and ruffled her hair. She pouted and poked at my stomach making me squirm away. Our antics made our shower way more fun than it should’ve been, mimicking the perfect time we had in the tub before I freaked out on her. It was almost like a do over and I was appreciative of that fact. Once we were done and dried we curled up, facing one another, under the comforter. And although we were both fatigued, we stood up for hours talking about shit I never even dreamed about knowing about her. By the time the sun rose I was able to realize that one thing was for sure. I was in love with her.

–

We thought everything would be fine after that, and it was between us, but on Eri’s side things seemed to hit the fan one after the other. Their grandpa, who was back on the island they were from, fell ill. Their mother didn’t let them have a say in anything and whisked them away, making them leave school and work behind. There was a looming threat that they could be fired or even lose their financial aid which worried them just as much as their grandpa’s health. Each night they were gone we would facetime just so I could see them. I missed having them beside me whenever I wanted and it wasn’t even about the sex anymore. I genuinely found that I liked talking to them. There was never any judgement and I started to understand why certain things were important to them. Now I had to be there for them and help them stay strong even though I knew they were crumbling.

I was laying on my side, my phone propped against the wall, as I watched them cry. There wasn’t much I could do, or even say, at this point but i remained on the video. They apologized over and over for crying so much but i reassured them that I didn’t care. They let me know that it was okay when I cried and I wanted them to know the same. “I miss you..” They hiccuped.

I sniffed and cleared my throat, swallowing my own emotions. “I miss you too…you know you have to be there. It’s going to be okay.”

“He’s gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking he’s going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I don’t know why they won’t just fuckin’ say it.”

“They’re scared, Eri. They’re losing one of their parents. It’s always going to be scary.”

“I know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. It’s driving me insane. Just look at him and say he’s going to die! He’s just going to die, Johnny. He’s going to…” They burst into another round of tears and buried their face into a pillow, muffling the heart wrenching sobs. I wish I could be there. I wish I could hold them so fucking tight and never let them go. It hurt me to see them like this.

“Baby, look at me, ok?” They moved their head up and wiped at their eyes. “When you come back here, i’ll be here for you ok? It’s going to be hard but I’ll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.”

I finally saw them crack a small smile which made me feel a little better. “I know…I-” Suddenly, someone burst into their room. I couldn’t make out who it was exactly as the video started to pixelate. They had a conversation that I couldn’t understand but seemed stressed. They grabbed their phone and finally the video came back into view. “I have to go. I-I’ll talk to you later, ok?!” Before I could even respond the video was cut off and I had my own disturbance burst into my room. I shot up in bed, looking at Jae who seemed to be distressed. Great, was everyone around me having issues at once?

“Dude, what the-” He held his cell phone out in his shaking hand and I could see a call from an unknown number going on. “What?” I asked, still confused.

“Talk. Talk now.” was all he said.

I took the phone tentatively and held it to my ear. My body went into shock as soon as I heard the voice that had haunted me for weeks on end. The voice that made my skin crawl and make me want to vomit. What she said next drenched my blood run cold.

“Johnny, I’m pregnant.”

#johnny #johnny fanfic #johnny smut #johnny suh #johnny seo #nct #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 #nct smut #nct 127 smut

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manggojooz · 5 years

Text

Pick A Side (Part 2)

pairing: Taehyung x reader

word count: 1,735

genre: university!au; angst, it’s still angst; slice of life stuff

warnings: none

note: although it’s unplanned but this will now be a series (y) please support it lots.. and reblog if you like this series <3

previous part: Part 1

“But sometimes, when you choose not to pick a side, you have essentially picked a side.”

“What? How does that even make any sense?", his face was nothing but bewilderment.

How do you even go about explaining this without sounding like you are making a mountain out of a molehill?

“Y/N, I’m fine with girls being jealous and all but the one thing I cannot stand is you throwing a tantrum by threatening to break up with me. I don’t do this break up and get back together thing. If we are breaking up, it will be for good... so... are you sure? That we are worth less than this argument you had with Jihyun? Are you sure that you are prepared to give us up over something like this?”, he reasoned as if he was giving you a second chance to backpedal.

“I’m trying to tell you that you have already picked your side, Taehyung, but if you don’t see it that way then fine, I’m telling you again... not everything has a middle ground. And this time, you have to choose one. So... will you be on my side?”, you threw the second chance card back at him.

Taehyung was obviously annoyed by now, he looked nothing less than he was about to curse at your stupid insistence on this.

“There’s no need to answer me anymore”, you shook your head in disappointment as you left.

---

He was serious about what he said too. He never contacted you again after that night. You weren’t sure if he really was in your life this whole time. The only times you were sure you actually did date him were when you opened your chat with him and went through the old messages. If you were hurting this much, it must have happened, right?

Needless to say, the news of the break up spread fast and furious, given Taehyung’s popularity, and so did the rumours as to the reasons why.

Y/N is such a petty girlfriend. Y/N was jealous of Jihyun. Can’t Taehyung even have friends now just because he is dating Y/N? Taehyung deserves better... She’s so selfish...

There were so many, to the extent that even you became aware of them despite how ill-informed you usually were of the gossip around school.

The first lesson you learnt from this was that giving in to someone becomes something taken for granted over time. Because you did it once, because you did it twice, you are expected to always do it. And when you choose to not do it, when you took a stand for yourself, you became the mean one, the selfish one, the petty one.

“Oh please, who doesn’t share such videos nowadays, it’s even in the news. I heard Y/N was just being overly sensitive and got upset that Taehyung didn’t side with her.” You were sitting in a corner of the library trying to focus on the textbook in front of you when you overheard the conversation between two of your classmates behind the bookshelf that blocked them from seeing you there. The third time this week.

Lesson two: the entire world would simply conclude that you were not worth supporting, because the one person that everyone presumed would or should have sided with you, chose not to.

Not once did you try to clarify or defend yourself. How do you stand up against the rest of the world by yourself? Where do you even start? Who was going to listen to you? What is the point anymore?

When you believed that nobody would take your side, you too, have abandoned it.

All that was left was your desperation and desire for the world to move on, to leave you alone.

---

And alone you were. You didn’t have many friends in school to begin with, the only few you had were closer to Taehyung than they were to you.

Avoidance became a valuable skill. Good thing you didn’t share any common classes with him this semester but you still had to avoid him around school and you decided to stop going to the painting club. From what little you heard through the grape vines, he went about his activities as he normally would.

Isn’t it usually the case that the one who was more blameworthy, ran away more? What have you done so wrong to be avoiding him like this?

---

Eventually, you worked up whatever courage you had left in you and decided to join a new club in school to prevent yourself from sinking into further lonesomeness.

The people in the photography club were generally friendly to your pleasant surprise. You had been attracted to the club when you saw a wall full of photographs outside the club room. The club welcomed anyone to propose captions for the photographs and a few of them had post-it notes stuck to them; some captions were funny, some were sentimental, you found solace in reading all of them.

Even though you did not attend club activities too regularly, you ultimately managed to produce a photograph you felt was worthy to be placed on the photo wall. You had gone to visit a friend near the countryside over the weekend and the lake that you passed by had already started to freeze over. In the morning fog rising in the dusk, it looked desolate and you were compelled to snap a picture of it.

Two days after you put up the photograph, you passed by the wall on your way to one of your classes. A yellow post-it note was stuck on the corner over the white sticker that had your name written on it. Someone had written a poem on the post-it:

“A thick ice has formed Atop a winter lake on which I was thrown away A thick ice has formed In the dream I shortly went into My agonizing phantom pain Is still the same.”

You peeled the post-it off the photograph, peering at it and then at your photograph again. You finally had an inkling of why you avoided Taehyung to this extent.

The one who was hurt more, runs away more. Because although you pretended like your wounds have frozen over, that everything was calm on top, you knew it was not all that frozen underneath.

---

Finally the first semester ended, the winter break was exceptionally cold. And then it was the first week of the second semester of your sophomore year. You strolled into class very early, only a few seats were taken and per usual, you walked up the stairs all the way to the back of the small lecture room, picking a seat in the last row.

There were two girls who came in after you, they sat down in the row right in front of you and started to take out their things when one of them whispered softly, “I heard Taehyung’s taking this class too...”

“And so? You know he has a new girlfriend now right? Stop being so boy crazy...”

“It doesn’t hurt to have an eye candy in class”, the first girl giggled.

You were not surprised you would eventually end up in a common class with Taehyung, it was inevitable given how small the arts faculty was in this school. What surprised you was how your heart pinched upon hearing that he has a new girlfriend. Has it still not been long enough?

It's about time though. For him to get a new girlfriend, for you to stop avoiding him, for everything to return to normal. Maybe seeing him together with his new girl would do the trick for you, you could only hope.

“Is this seat taken?”, a sweet voice inquired. You looked up.

He had a shy smile, and everything about him was tidy and neat. His simple white shirt was tucked into his light blue jeans, his hair was short and he styled his fringe up revealing his forehead, flaunting his impeccable features.

“Umm... no... it’s not”, you answered, although you were still a little taken aback by the suddenness of the stranger’s approach.

He widens his smile a little and puts his backpack down on the seat next to you, along the aisle. The classroom was starting to fill with people. “I’m, Haejoong”, he introduces himself as he sat down.

“Oh... uh, hi, I’m Y/N. Are you new here?”, the question came out a bit too abruptly, but you couldn’t help but wonder why you never noticed him around before.

“I major in film-making, it’s my first time taking a pure arts class, if that is what you mean”, he laughed while answering you.

Just at that moment some guy at the front of the class squawked loudly, “Oh~~ here comes the campus couple!”

Both Haejoong and you turned towards the front entrance of the classroom. Your heart stops a little seeing Taehyung walk in. His smile looked more captivating than you remembered it to be, reminding you of the times he used to smile and goof around with you. It was just because you haven’t seen him in such a long time. That was the best you could come up with to rationalise it to yourself.

Taehyung almost immediately spots you, even though you were hidden behind rows and rows of other students. It was strange, how he was always able to see you even when you hid so far away from him. He sees you looking at him, and he momentarily contemplated letting go of the hand he held, but he eventually catches hold of himself. The hand he held slowly dragged him further into the room, his eyes only focusing on her now.

The girls seated in front of you were quietly whispering something again, occasionally glancing back towards your direction. And this time you couldn’t hear them, perhaps you didn’t want to hear them.

Haejoong notices when Taehyung stared at you, although it was short-lived, and he turns to look at you closely.

You thought you had been alright, you thought you would be alright, even if you weren’t, you thought seeing him with his girlfriend now would finally force you to put it down.

You couldn’t have been more wrong, not when the girl who was now by his side is no other than Jihyun.

How cruel of him... to answer your last question to him in this way.

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marshmallow-phd · 5 years

Text

Charming Instruction

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Summary: You were just an average, everyday college student desperately trying to graduate. Only one more year stood between you and that celebratory walk. However, due to an oversight by your adviser, it seemed that the one class you never wanted to take was required to take that walk. It wasn’t the subject matter that made you uncomfortable. It was the teacher. Your heart sped up every time you saw him and you didn’t want that distraction in your life, attractive or not. With meeting him now an inevitability, you swore that you would keep your hormones in check. But after your first day of class, a series of hi jinks and weird situations lead you to discovering the secret of your professor and why he seemed to bombard your every thought.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

You tried to rationalize what you had heard away. Any logical person would just assume they were messing around, right? Everyone on campus knew that Professor Kim lived with a big group of his cousins while they all attended classes at the university. Where exactly they were all able to fit no one really knew, but each one of them would confirm that they all lived under the same roof.

But they couldn’t be werewolves. They just couldn’t. Wouldn’t have someone noticed something strange going on by now? Especially with that many of them?

Maybe they were just messing around. Yeah, that had to be it. They were just using the whole “wolf” thing as a metaphor for how close they all were. Giant group of rowdy boys? That could definitely fit the description of a pack of wolves. But you couldn’t shake the serious way that Professor Kim had called himself the leader. And all of them wouldn’t really go out on a run together. That didn’t make any sense. There were at least ten of them. Where would they go running besides the forest?

The rest of the day, you couldn’t concentrate on any of the lectures you attended and you were sure you failed the quiz in your Physical Anthropology class.

Part of you was tempted to approach Jiyoung who had been in a couple of your history and cultural studies classes. You’d been a little surprised when you noticed that she looked to be with Jongdae now, a particularly noisy and popular member of the group you’d seen around campus, considering she didn’t seem the type to like those sort of crowds. Granted, that was just all speculation from the few times you’d spoken with her.

No. You couldn’t go to Jiyoung. You didn’t even know how you would approach that suspect.

Hey, Jiyoung, have you ever noticed if your boyfriend occasionally grew ears and a tail? Maybe even growled or panted like a dog? Does he go on runs and howl at the moon?

Groaning, you let your head fall with a thump on your kitchen table. Thankfully neither Gemma nor Cam were home, keeping you safe from their curious questions and ridicule. To continue on that trend, you quickly finished your dinner and holed yourself up in your room, pretending to be asleep by the time your roommates came back from their evening classes.

The following day was no better. You’d hoped that maybe your brain would see reason after a good night’s rest and you’d be able to go on with your life.

Ha.

Your brain wasn’t that kind to you.

While your concentration was a little better during class, the time outside was a different story. In a secluded corner of the library where no one could sneak up on you, you had your laptop open and connected to the internet to do some non-school work related research.

Typing in the word “werewolf” to the search bar almost made you feel like a hacker about to break into your government’s confidential files. Why, you weren’t exactly sure. There were certainly a million worse things to look up on the internet. Still, the strange feeling of possibly getting caught by the wrong person just made your heart race with stress.

A majority of your search results just brought up teen fantasy novels and the different movies through the decades. The actual legends you encountered were all drastically different. The most common of the tales – the ones that nearly everyone knew – described the person (who was typically cursed with the ability, either threw a bite or scratch) as fully turning into a four-legged wolf. One interesting and different tale from Fennoscandia depicted a werewolf as an old lady with poison-coated claws. Nice.

It wasn’t until later centuries that the hybrid started to emerge. All of the stories seemed to agree that the werewolf typically traveled on his (or her) own. A pack mentality was apparently not so common. You nearly laughed at the strange notion from old Europe saying that the best way to find a werewolf was to cut the person’s skin as you would find fur underneath if they were one of the lycanthrope.

Nothing that you found online was able to assuage your mind. But nothing also pointed to Professor Kim actually possessing the ability to change into the ancestor of the modern domesticated dog. Cutting him open to try and find fure didn’t seem adequate enough of a solution.

You didn’t really sleep that night, mulling over and over in your head what you should do in class the next morning. Should you just pretend that you never heard anything? Should you confront him after class?

Whining, you kicked at the blankets that covered your legs as you lied in bed in the dark. Every once in a while, you checked your phone just to watch the hours tick by. You just wanted to sleep and shut your brain off for a bit.

Your wish was granted, if only for a little while. You couldn't remember falling asleep, but your eyes opened slowly when your alarm went off. Sitting up in bed, you yawned and stretched to help wake up. A few minutes later, you were able to crawl out of bed and get dressed for class.

After eating a filling breakfast, you took your time walking to the building, hoping a plan would miraculously form itself before you walked through the doors.

One never did, except for one little possible course of action. And you didn’t really like it.

You were early today, even with your slow pace, only a few other fellow students scattered around the hall. You bypassed the back rows, going down the steps reluctantly until your feet touched the very bottom, right before the open area where Professor Kim walked around during his lectures. A few seats in, you sat down in the front door and unpacked your things for class.

The hall filled up as the minutes clicked closer to the assigned hour. Professor Kim walked in from the back door like usual. He kept his eyes down, setting his bag on the desk in the middle and taking out his laptop to hook up to the project.

When he glanced up briefly to check the time on the digital clock hanging up on the back wall, he made eye contact with you. The cable he was holding slipped from his hand. It landed on the floor with a muffled clatter due to the thin carpet. He kept his shocked gaze on you, but you weren’t so steady, lowering your eyes as you felt your cheeks heating up.

Professor Kim collected himself quickly. He shook his head as he hooked up the laptop and started class with the newest power point.

All throughout the hour and a half, you kept your eye out for anything strange. Any bizarre quirk, any minuscule sign that what you overheard wasn’t a complete fabrication or figment of your imagination. But he gave nothing away.

The person in front of you who lectured on sirens and how they affected ancient, superstitious sailors way of life on the sea to avoid the possible killers seemed perfectly ordinary. Handsome, smart as hell, stunning smile with a dad-like sense of humor, but ordinary.

Maybe they really were just talking in metaphor.

Resigning to the fact that you might have just wasted two days of precious thinking time over this nonsense, you managed to focus the rest of the period, typing up an impressive amount of notes.

Professor Kim dismissed the class and you tried to not look so hurried in getting out of there.

“Miss (l/n)?”

You froze.

Shit.

You gulped before throwing your bag over your shoulder and walking up to your professor. “Yes?”

“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” Professor Kim said gravely. Gone was his usual friendly smile, replaced by a more serious expression.

Your heart was beating so fast that it was almost painful. Each glance at Professor Kim made it worse.

“About what?” you asked with a quivering voice.

He shook his head. “It’d be better if we talked in my office.”

Yup. He totally knew that you’d overheard him. This confirmed it... didn’t it?

What was he going to do?

You didn’t want to stick around to find out.

“I can’t. I have to get to class.”

Before he could protest or insist, you turned and ran up the stairs - tripping once or twice - fleeing the classroom.

Outside, you bent over, trying to catch your breath. You glanced over your shoulder to see if he’d followed you, but he was nowhere to be found. Good. You got away clean. At least until you had class again on Friday. Then what would you do? Dropping the class wasn’t an option. Maybe if you stayed in the back for the rest of the semester, you could easily avoid the professor. If need be, you could make friends with someone in the class and they could hand your work in for you.

Perfect plan.

Oh, you were such a scaredy cat.

What the hell were you doing here? Were you trying to get yourself killed?

Okay, killed was a bit dramatic. You doubted that Professor Kim would kill you if he found you out here while he was out… running with his pack. Well, if he was in control of his wolfy side, that is.

If any of that was real in the first place.

You couldn’t comprehend your own thought process that led to this particular decision. It didn’t make sense. After the whole fiasco with Professor Kim, you’d decided that you were going to avoid him. And yet, here you were, walking deeper into the woods as the sun disappeared from the sky. You just couldn’t shake the feeling that it really might be true. That a pack of werewolves might actually be running around here. Your life was about finding out answers and you couldn't stop now.

You weren’t a woods person. You weren’t a hiking person. “Outside” didn’t bother you. It was just that the trees made you feel trapped, enclosed, like you were being towered over and watched with every step you took. Big open fields were much more preferable to you. Where you could see the sky as far as your eyes would let you. That’s where you found peace.

But the woods were the best place for you to find a group of werewolves that might have decided to go for a run in the moonlight. Your boots crunched the ground below you, leaving impressions in the dirt to mark your way. To keep your sight, you had a small flashlight in your hand, kept mostly pointed at the ground to stop any attention from being drawn towards you.

You repeated to yourself that you were out here doing this in order to prove that you weren’t crazy. That it was valid to have multiple sleepless nights thinking about you’d overheard. So, you made a deal with yourself among the trees. If you didn’t find any giant dogs or proof of werewolves tonight, you’d let it go. Or, at least try to.

For a good hour, you kept walking, keeping an eye out for any movement. You didn’t see anything in the corner of your eye beyond the occasional leaf. You’d give it another hour and then you’d give up. Countless times your phone buzzed in your back pocket. Probably Cam or Gemma trying to figure out where you were. You never stayed out this late and it was probably worrying them to death. When you decided to go back home then you’d call them back to let them know that you were safe and alive.

A howl ripped through the air. The hair on the back of your neck stood up and your first instinct was to run. But that was a wolf’s howl, calling out to the moon. So, instead, you walked slowly towards the direction it came from, like an idiot. And you couldn't even say that you lived a full life.

Peeking out from behind a thick group of trees, you found him.

You caught the tail end of his transformation; the fur disappearing from his skin, the claws retracting from his fingers. He straightened up, stretching before inspecting a cut on his arm.

“I told Baekhyun to slow down,” Professor Kim grumbled to himself. He had no idea that you were hiding behind a tree, watching him.

Yes, you were watching him closely, fascinated.

While you didn’t get to see how he looked in full wolf form, you got to witness the middle and end of his transformation and that was the proof you needed. And that wasn’t all. You looked on as the deep cut on his upper arm healed up and disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place. That made you forget yourself and gasp out loud.

Professor Kim snapped his head towards your direction.

Shit. He’d spotted you.

You ran. Like an idiot.

“(y/n)! Wait!”

You were not a recreational runner, so the fact that you quickly ran out of gas was no surprise to anyone. Professor Kim caught up to you in less than ten seconds, taking hold of your arm to bring you to a stop and turn you around.

“(y/n), please! I won’t hurt you!”

His voice sounded sincere and you didn’t think he would harm you in any way. You’d initially ran because your instinct told you to and that time you couldn’t resist it. But you went off on a ramble anyway.

“I’m sorry! I know I shouldn’t have come out here, but I heard you in your office and I couldn’t believe it when you kept talking about paws and a pack, but it kept me up at night and I thought that maybe it was just a strange metaphor and I figured I could prove that it was by coming out here. Please, I won’t tell anyone, just please let me go and-”

Professor Kim clamped a hand over your mouth to stop you. When he was confident that you wouldn’t start talking again, he removed it, grasping your other arm instead. “You overheard me in my office?”

You nodded slowly. “Talking to someone about stretching your paws and being the leader of a pack.”

He sighed. “So, you know what I am?”

Again, you nodded.

Tilting his head, he frowned. “You’re taking this very well.”

“Well, I’ve kind of been juggling this the past few days going back and forth between thinking that I was taking you too literally and thinking that werewolves might actually be real,” you explained. “But, yeah, inside I’m kind of freaking out. This calmness on the outside is just a thin veneer to try to keep from having a nervous breakdown.”

“You don’t have to be nervous with me,” Professor Kim reassured you. “I won’t hurt you. I don't mind that you know.”

“Y-you don’t?” That was… surprising. Shouldn’t he be worried that his secret was out. Well, not out out. But you knew now. Shouldn’t he be freaking out himself? The fact that both of you were calm right now was remarkable.

He shook his head. “No. I know I can trust you.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” you promised. “Now, can you let me go?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He released you quickly, taking a step back. “Was I hurting you?”

“No,” you replied honestly. “You’re just naked.” That was actually only half the problem. You were doing a pretty good job at avoiding your eyes. It was working only because you were focusing on the skin-on-skin contact between the two of you. His hands were fire against your arms, burning the area where he touched, but it wasn’t painful. Almost pleasurable. With him so close, you couldn’t really concentrate on anything else.

“Oh, right.” In the dimly lit night, you couldn’t be entirely sure, but you could have sworn you saw the professor blush. “Um. Honestly, (y/n), it’s dangerous for you to be out here.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you agreed. “And I have class tomorrow. I should… get home.”

“I’ll walk you back,” he volunteered.

You waved both hands in front of you. “No, that’s okay. I don’t want you to accidentally get caught like this.”

He actually laughed. “I won’t. I’ll be far behind you and see you to the edge.”

“Oh, okay.” You bit your bottom lip. “Thank you, Professor Kim.”

“Please, call me Junmyeon.”

You couldn’t resist the smile that stretched across your lips. “Junmyeon.”

The way he lit up when you repeated his name made you want to say it over and over again. This wasn’t good. You were supposed be scared. Your professor was a werewolf. And yet, you felt completely at ease in his company.

Gently pushing on your shoulders, he turned you around back towards the city. “Don’t look back.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me.”

You pouted, thankful that he couldn’t see your face. It was easy to conclude that he would turn into whatever wolfy form he usually took as he kept you safe on the way back. Why you couldn’t see it was the real question.

But you did as he asked, never looking behind you as you walked through the woods back to civilization. Until you broke through the trees and neared the sidewalk. Then you couldn’t resist. But you saw nothing among the trees as you scanned the area over your shoulder. Sighing, you turned around and kept going until you reached your car.

Checking your phone, you cringed at the amount of missed calls and texts from your best friends. You were so dead.

#exo #exo wolf au #exo wolf!au #exo werewolf au #exo werewolf!au #exo supernatural au #exo scenarios #exo series #junmyeon x reader #kim junmyeon #suho #Charming Instruction #untamed wolf universe

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groundbreaking-science · 5 years

Text

2.6 - First Light: Shine

Warning! The following section contains exercises that may cause burns, damage to vision and irradiation. The author is not liable and the reader proceeds at their own risk.

Prerequisites: exercises in 1.4 and throughout chapter 2. In addition, material in 1.6 and 1.7 is referenced.

I left the story of the Cell Games at a conventional point. The evil had been vanquished, there was a hero of sorts ready to collect the spoils and the world was rejoicing. Neat and tidy. But real-life is a mess, and after every story that messy life must go on.

That afternoon, as Mr Satan posed for cameras and collected his accolades, out of the spotlight my friends and I gathered ourselves and limped home. I flew back to the mountains - alone.

My solitary return did not go unnoticed. There on the veranda I had to break the news to Mom that Dad had died to save us all, and he was put into that predicament by my own recklessness. Mom collapsed on the spot. She heaved sobs into my shoulder, clinging my still-torn gi. In that moment I was her strongest connection to him. I could do no more than try and comfort her the way she would have me - by petting her head, telling her everything was okay even if it wasn’t, and hoping she’d come round.

The trees’ shadows grew long before she had strength enough to hold me tight and remember to reassure me in kind. She was right, he had made his own decision to treat this death as his final and I was not the cause. But the depth of her grief said otherwise. Loss is a funny thing. For my family and friends, loss of a loved one can be temporary, but the moment hurts as keenly. For Dad to make the decision to stay dead indefinitely, to hear his reasoning for doing so in his own words before his final goodbye… in some ways was harder to understand than if there was simply the expected empty silence.

The next day was declared a worldwide public holiday. West City, too, became a wall of noise and colour, although Capsule Corp was notably muted in its display of reverie. The little energy we mustered for celebration was for Trunks - a thank you and goodbye - with some of the day as a memorial service to my father. I pushed to keep that portion short. I knew wishing for others to grieve with me would be tantamount to an admission of my guilt-ridden devastation, so I kept my longing deep.

Even with constant love and reassurance from family and our friends, many years passed before I accepted that I was not responsible for shattering Mom that day. Dad had flitted in and out of my life growing up, but he always returned to us to be by our side. Now he couldn’t. My little brother was on the way, and me, Mom and Grandfather would have to be all the small family he had. At first we were scared what would happen should a new menace surface, but very quickly - too quickly some would say - we relaxed. I threw myself into my studies, trying to learn all I could about the world I had worked so hard to save. That went a long way to providing me what solace I needed and would give me a taste for the career I love to this day.

Time marched on. Little Goten went from crying to babbling to non-stop chit-chattering and tugging on my writing arm at all hours to go play with him and so, sensing the valued distraction but distraction nonetheless, when I hit the right age Mom suggested I attend Orange (now Satan) City’s main high school. Making friends my own age sounded wise in principle - I’d never kept in touch with those fleeting friends I had made other than a Namekian named Dende - but I was nervous. Would I score high enough to get in? Would I fit in with non-martial artists? Would my life’s history be uncovered?

As is typical of me I visited the school and got into hot water twice before my real attendance.

The first time was for the entrance examinations. Coming from out of district, my tests took place on a Saturday. The six were brutal in schedule, one after the other with lunch in-between. Mom was insistent on travelling with me, and whilst I tried to argue with her on grounds that I could navigate a city I’d flown over many times just fine, I eventually caved. In truth I’d never quite believed her (or anyone else for that matter) that I was a smart kid (at least smart enough to pass these tests) and her presence on the ride over calmed me. I could read her nerves but her reassurances weren’t lies. She believed that I could pass at least.

Orange Star High surprised me in its familiarity. Despite never having stepped foot in a school before, I’d read books and comics set in them, and Orange Star High was a picture-perfect representation of one. There were lockers, water fountains, places to change your shoes, signs above each classroom door and long, discoloured shadows on notice boards where class rankings must have been posted the semester before. I didn’t feel as out of place as I expected to and that settled me just in time for the long slog.

To cut a long day short, my Mom’s careful balancing of tutoring and letting me explore the world’s knowledge at my own frantic pace paid off. I finished every exam with time to spare and was given permission to leave the final one early, an opportunity I gladly took, much to the chagrin of my fellow testees.

True to her word that she would busy herself, Mom was not where I’d waved her goodbye. My ki-sense pointed to her browsing the mall two streets back. I took a moment to stretch and breathe in on the steps bathed in sunlight - before a flash of silver caught my attention.

A switch blade.

I saw enough of the possessor before he disappeared into the sidewalk’s crowds, jacket on and hood up even in the afternoon’s warmth. His intent was trained on a young woman laden with bags.

My feet carried me before my tired brain had a chance to intervene.

He grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her into an alley, the tight throng of distracted pedestrians masking her silent panic to everyone but me. I followed and only then in cold shock realised I had no concrete plan.

He pressed the knife to her neck. She closed her eyes and whimpered. I had to defuse the situation of course, but a selfish part of me feared for myself. I hadn’t even started school, yet I was risking exposure? I needed to hide my identity. I grabbed the first idea I could.

I concentrated my bubbling anger, forcing it to a frisson on my back. Gold light exploded over me. The Super Saiyan transformation. Blue eyes, blond hair and a mean glare doesn’t sound much of a disguise I admit, but it was all I had to hand and was remarkably effective.

I snatched the blade.

Disarmed before he could fully register my presence, the mugger’s anger dissolved to a primal fear, cemented when I squeezed the knife, the blade as pliant as butter. The switch mechanism snapped. The blade and handle tinkling to the floor became the only sound in the alley. Knowing he was outmatched, he ran. The woman let out a belated strangled yell.

Not wanting to risk misunderstanding I jumped to the apartment building roof faster than she could follow. From on high I watched her tentatively rejoin the crowd and find her way to a meter maid, the mugger long gone.

Assuming her safe I left to find Mom, letting my appearance snap back to normal but my heart still pounding and rattled by my boldness. I had, in the middle of the day, in the middle of town, mere metres from a crowd, transformed. And it had felt the right thing to do.

For someone who claims she can’t read ki, my mother sure is accurate with her hunches. She chalked up her suspicion over my mood to me nervous about the exam results. I barely avoided having to admit my recklessness, and vowed to not let my soft-heart cloud my judgement again.

I did not keep my word.

The second time I visited Satan City was for registration. I had (“of course”, according to everyone else) passed the entrance examinations with flying colours; my high score in science had even stood until they changed the exam style some ten years or so ago. I travelled alone this time. After all, a high school student shouldn’t need their mother holding their hand. This ended up being a very wise decision as no sooner as I’d landed in that same alleyway, screams erupted from the street. An old man stood frozen to a crosswalk, wide-eyed, watching helplessly as an out-of-control truck careened towards him.

Without conscious thought I transformed. It gave me the speed I needed to bring the truck to a screeching stop mere centimetres from the fear-stricken man, my fingers twisting the metal of the grill despite my gentle efforts. The truck persisted, then slumped back onto its tires with a short groan. I fled in the following silence.

The rescue took three seconds at the very most but a whole street of people saw me that time. I had to hope that their distraction helping both the gentleman and clearly ill driver would make them doubt my existence, though I knew the deep gouges my heels made in the asphalt could not be waved away as pure imagination.

I stowed my green jacket in my bag for the rest of the visit. The ink hardly had time to dry on my school paperwork before I high-tailed it out of there.

You might say then that these two incidents were my first foray into heroism, marking the true beginnings of The Great Saiyaman. I’m not so sure. In both cases I left the scene as soon as the obvious risk to life was averted, but there was still grave danger - the mugger could have come back, the truck driver could have needed a short flight to the ER. Perhaps with such lofty hindsight I expect too much of myself, though I’d like to think any aspiring Heroes reading this belaboured story will do better than I did and stay the course.

The next appearance of the Super Saiyan (or Golden Fighter as he’d been named, unbeknownst to me) was on my first day of school proper. I’d fallen behind schedule by landing too far from school, feeling that alleyway to be cursed. On my suspiciously athletic run through the streets to class, a commotion caught my eye.

A car screamed around a corner on two wheels, police in pursuit. Pedestrians dived for cover. Loose cash fluttered to the ground.

A bank heist, a real-life bank heist, and a serious risk to life at that.

I knew I’d have to do something. One routine transformation, a whiplash-inducing stop for the getaway car, bullets safely disposed of then I was back on my way. I barely broke my stride. My disguise was working - no one seemed to care, I was perfectly safe.

What I did not count on, however, was Videl.

I wish I could say our first meeting had a spark, a Cupid’s arrow to our hearts or a red string’s tension pulling our destinies closer. I wish I could tell you a romantic story starting with me full of coy confidence and her the taken damsel that worked its way to a steady crescendo, or each of us taking a passionate disliking to the other over a misunderstanding of circumstance and falling in love suddenly, accidentally. Those would have made tidy stories to tell. But if there’s one constant thread in my life, it’s this: whilst the end of every life-chapter has at the very least a quiet joy, the process of getting to that sweet ending is pure, convoluted torture for everyone involved.

In truth I’d say Videl and I met four times.

The first time was in passing on that very day. She’d arrived a moment too late to see the Golden Fighter in action and accosted me, quizzing me as a bystander. Meanwhile I was in the process of sneaking from the scene with all the subtlety of the bank robbers I’d laid flat. I feigned ignorance and was fortunate enough that her ire at missing the show meant she paid me no heed and I could scamper away.

My first impression of her? Only the sigh of relief that this boisterous and intimidating girl drew more attention to herself than me.

So you see, not much of a spark to speak of.

Our second meeting and first real introduction was less than an hour later. We have Videl’s old, now mutual friend to thank for that. Erasa, the social butterfly and romantic fiend, was the first person to formally welcome me into our class by pulling little lost me into the empty seat beside her. Flagrantly ignoring the class that was being led from below, she introduced herself and her friends, including Videl. It was only then I found out that the young lady searching for the block of the Golden Fighter to knock clean off was Mr Satan’s daughter - the man who had taken credit, limelight and burden for my defeat of Cell. And it was also then I learnt the Golden Fighter was already a local celebrity. Whilst she recognised me from the crimescene that morning, Videl (thankfully) dismissed me as too great a goober to be the Hero. This defence has saved me an offensive number of times, actually.

Beyond my initial shock at her parentage, I didn’t pay Videl much heed beyond steering clear of her suspicions, either. My first day of school was such a mess that I was preoccupied up to the eyeballs with other worries. The teachers had singled me out as having the highest entry scores and as such I was an officially-sanctioned target. By the end of first period they’d found out I supposedly commuted for ten hours every day, lived in the mountain district (my subtle accent that pops out when stressed probably didn’t help me here) and was wearing the same clothes as the now infamous Golden Fighter. All that was saving my heritage and feats from exposure was the colour of my hair, natural knack for social awkwardness being mistaken for a lack of physical prowess, and the ubiquitous dimwittedness of teenagers (I include my young self in that - like I said, I was never subtle).

And slow to piece together the puzzle they were. After lunch I played baseball for the first time. In my eagerness to win social points I jumped a good ten metres to make a catch. Mom warning me to act normally was all well and good but I didn’t truly understand what normal was. When you use ki all the time those amplifications are as easy as breathing. Even after limiting myself my performance was impressive and I was invited to every after-school sports club you can dream up. Thankfully my ‘long commute’ made declining participation reasonable and, after a hard day that my identity barely escaped intact from, I could finally relax.

So there we go. The first time Videl heard of me she wanted to flatten me. The first time she saw me she treated me with casual indifference. And both times I was terrified of her. Soulmates.

That near-disastrous first day brings me to my third meeting with Videl, and the origin story I wanted to tell you. You see, I knew I had to retire the Golden Fighter - that day had been too close for comfort and even the most self-absorbed of teenagers would have done the math eventually; Videl got close enough during our introduction. But I also knew I wouldn’t be able to resist getting myself in heroic trouble again, leaving me and my family exposed.

So I did what all my friends and family do when they have a tricky problem with no obvious solution: pay a visit to Auntie Bulma and hope she can engineer you out of the hole.

In retrospect I’m sure she would have much preferred to tackle the “possible trouble with a girl” she assumed I was having at first, but at that stage even I wasn’t aware of the problem brewing there. Still, she offered to help and her solution to the Golden Fighter was simple: to jerry-rig a prototype device she’d been working on, the capsule watch. Not the standard discrete-capsule-inside-watch that you all know, but a specific design that threads the shrinking matrix throughout fabric and default targets to the wearer’s form, rematerialising over the wearer’s body. In short, it was an instantaneous costume, one I could pop on and off to fight crime in a moment.

The Great Saiyaman’s name was my idea but it was Bulma who designed his look. To this day I’m impressed she managed to pull the outfit together in one afternoon. I very much consider myself indebted to her for the success of The Great Saiyaman and all who follow. That chunky watch is not much different to the slim-line version Heroes and Shadows wear today - though theirs are discreetly hidden in jewellery and other accessories. Here’s an inside scoop for you: those outfits don’t replace my current clothes but shrink over them. Wearing the costume is atrocious in the heat, and what do we experience a lot of in Satan City? I have many-a-time begrudgingly hit that button when in full suit, (yes, with tie and suit jacket) and have waddled my way across the city to deal with some shoe down or another. Contrary to popular belief, there was never a meaner stand-in for me, I was just perpetually tired and sweaty on those days and therefore not in the mood to give many chances. Give a man a break, and offer your friendly neighbourhood Hero or Shadow a drink.

Bulma’s disguise worked well. Within days the Golden Fighter was consigned to history and The Great Saiyaman garnered admirers and nervous detractors alike. Kids loved the look (well, Goten did - he was six) and the Hero even got a movie, my cameo in which was sadly cut out. My stuntwork on the Age 780 loose-reboot is front and centre, at least!

The Great Saiyaman gave me the breathing space I desperately needed to work out the kind of adult I wanted to be. Though my absolute secret wouldn’t last long and at the time I cursed by luck for that, being unmasked turned out to be the best thing to ever happened to me. You see, the disguise worked perfectly against everyone, except the one person it needed to. The one person beside myself and family who had unwittingly the most to lose. Videl.

I spent half of my first expedition as a Hero catching up with Videl in a vain attempt to save her. I’ll admit I was underestimating her; I feared both that she’d been given the title of Crimefighter purely due to her father’s massaged achievements, and that she was in more danger than she realised, luck and sheer bravado carrying her safely through any previous skirmishes.

(NB in truth this was my second outing, but I don’t count the reckless drivers I put to right. They had no taste in Hero names and spread the wrong one so I’m going to rewrite history if you don’t mind.)

When I reached the scene she was more than holding her own, knocking down two men twice her size with admirable efficiency and methodical style.

I’d like to state for the record that I did play my part by saving her from a stray bullet, though she maintains she only got into that predicament because I was a bumbling distraction. We’ll have to agree to disagree. Still, we rallied and captured the fleeing robbers before they had chance to cause more trouble. Working together the task was simple. A quick success, I thought, one that would lead to future professional collaborations.

But despite my very best efforts to play the mysterious Hero, Videl rumbled me, and that was the third time we met.

Perhaps she recognised my voice, or maybe her ki sense was more developed than I believed and her ‘intuition’ clued her in. Either way, within thirty seconds of interrogation she’d tricked me into explaining how I’d snuck out of class, thus undoing my night’s hard work developing a cryptic Hero’s persona. I had the dance down pat and everything.

Auntie Bulma was right when she said I can be all brain and no sense at times.

What was worse, Videl hadn’t only seen me leaping about in a costume. I’d used enough of my abilities to both shock and intrigue Videl, and unfortunately she knew from our very brief interactions that I could be a bit of a push-over.

You see, one of Videl’s greatest traits is her tenacity. If she has an idea, or a goal, or any nebulous vision that she deems technically achievable, however low the probability, she will have no qualms pursuing her desires. In this case - Videl wished to learn to fly.

Nowadays she’s sweeter and more subtle than she was when we were in our teens - then being as blunt as the broad side of a tree-trunk to the face. I’d wager that anyone who’s worked with her on one of her many altruistic projects wouldn’t feel as though they’d been guided by her. In fact, many come away with the impression that they were the brains and muscle of the entire outfit. After watching my wife work the floor of a charity auction, it’s plain to see she inherited her father’s charisma with a stark upgrade in finesse. If my wife wants something, she will bend wills and even reality to get it.

I said to you a long time ago that my first student was Videl and I trained her all backwards. Let me elucidate. The choice to train Videl backwards was less a conscious choice and more the mad scrabbling of a boy attempting to save his own neck.

When she discovered I was due to compete in the Tenkaichi Budokai, she saw only one path to prove herself. I was to teach her how to fly, and then I was to fight her in the upcoming tournament. This was not up for discussion. She dangled my identity and family’s safety over the precipice with casual indifference and I had to yield to her. Yes, my first student blackmailed me into giving up my secrets. That may sound horrific to you. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened more often, really. But I forgave her. She’d grown up in the limelight and saw the attention at worst an irritation but with overall great benefits, so why wouldn’t I learn to like the same? At that point she didn’t know my last and greatest secret either, and one that I was desperate to keep from the daughter of the man who took credit for my victory. I could not in good conscience allow her to find out that I was the Golden Fighter, a Super Saiyan and therefore the young boy in the Cell Games. Her father’s success back then was predicated on a lie and I did not want to be the one to drive a wedge between them, or cause the world, her world at least, to be laid to ruin with one tiny admission. So I lied through omission again.

The upside of competing in the Tenkaichi Budokai was skipping school. You wouldn’t think I of all people would have taken so easily to the idea, but with the stress of keeping The Great Saiyaman secret and behaving like a normal human, absconding to work from home with a stack of books was far easier - just like old times. I don’t think I could have managed my time at school juggling all that and a hot-headed Videl waiting for one misstep before blurting out my identity.

Goten was convinced that my silly foray into public school was over by then, a two week flight of fancy and I was back for good to play with him all day. My mother, despite being a stickler for academic focus, is also an extremely practical woman. She saw the benefits of the prize money that our family could sweep, so let him train. Even my father was able to attend nominally for the day - yes, that surprised us all, too.

I had to recondition myself and train Goten in that time, though I found his skills suspiciously well-honed. Not only had he been roughhousing with Trunk,s but our mother had been teaching him forms both as a reward for completing his homeschooling and for his own protection. Given that, I was confident our family could at least put in a good showing against the others. All I’d need were a few days alone with him.

But those few days were cut short by the arrival of Videl.

Videl was indeed serious about me teaching her how to fly, so much so she’d broken into the school administration office and dug out my address. Did I mention there was a five hour jetcar flight between Mount Paozu and Satan City to boot? Like I said, she chases what she wants and sinks her teeth into it until all protestations are subdued. I was the dead deer in her jaws. She chewed my ear off for leaving school to train, assuming I was ditching her. And because of that accidental transgression I was coerced into making up post-haste. So, having no time to teach the nuances of sensing ki and everything else you, dear reader, have had to learn, I had to go straight to flight.

I was an extremely fortunate teacher, however. Videl had trained her body hard her entire life and was already honed in mind enough that her ki flowed strongly, her power far greater than her father’s. This observation made a weird sort of sense. Like many people she watched the Cell Games and that day learnt the “great feats” her father was capable of. Since she idolised him and wanted to make him proud, she’d spent her time striving for those dizzying heights, hoping one day she could be a worthy successor. That one lie spurred Videl on so much that by her mid-teens she had already surpassed her father.

My intention had been to fit in two weeks of solid training with my brother. Despite Goten’s terrifying progress with Mom he couldn’t fly. Imagine that! The kid had puzzled out the knack of the super saiyan transformation and yet had not quite worked out the ki control required for flight. I guess this speaks to the motivating power of stories with children, plus Goten’s backwards-yet-ultimately-successful way of doing most things. That talent he got from Dad, I’m sure.

Thankfully then Goten took very little prompting, given he had otherwise perfect ki control. I even had to tell him to slow down and buzz off as Videl was getting snappy, her pride taking a beating; she was not used to struggling in martial arts. After enough failure to obliterate anyone’s confidence, I managed to convince her to sit still and learn a few basics. Whilst I did not have the words I have now, I muddled through, teaching her the exact intent that I will now teach you.

2.6.1 - Shine

That afternoon we sat facing each other. I spoke to her of the life all around us, how energy flows within us and in the carpet of lush mountain grass unrolling beneath us to the horizons and mountains - how I could sense that life, and she would be able to too, if she took the time to listen. I needed to show her ki was real, that she too possessed it, and to do that she had to physically see it. So, I put my palms together, took that breath, and drew my ki to a focus between my hands. Then I thought of sudden understandings, the first rays of dawn, the first breath of a newborn, announcing my own presence to a room, stars, light streaming through windows chasing back shadows and the Sun appearing from behind a cloud - the mobile of ideas that in my mind support the intent to shine.

The ki transformed to visible photons - just enough to see in the daylight, and Videl’s face, both literally and metaphorically, lit up. She inspected the light, shuffling close enough to touch, although her nose would have passed straight through.

I recommend you get that close, too. See shine’s shape and how the light pulsates with the wavering intent, how that communicates back to you and you hear its whisper. There’s no shame in marvelling at truly seeing your ki for the first time (or rather, such a direct effect of it) and you should take every moment to relish it.

Videl set to work, and she tripped through all the faults we’ve covered so far together (holding the breath, subconscious tensing, ki frantically clinging to its original purpose) but eventually a jewel of light appeared between her shaking hands, flickered in surprise and confusion at its manifestation, then as suddenly as the light blossomed it blinked out of existence. Videl near-collapsed through the effort, but she’d done it.

Her shining eyes, the pride swelling in them… for me that memory is as crisp as the present reality. At that exact moment I felt that same pure pride in her as her teacher.

That first session went remarkably smoothly. In another reality it may not have done. You may think shine a benign ability. And it is, if it behaves itself. Whether it does or not is less to do with runaway accidents and more a reflection of your ability to control your curiosity.

Intents are just that. Your intention. If you intend to make a soft glow and hold that confidence you will. But a slip of thought when straining your mind can overcharge the intent, making a flash grenade. If your mind treads lightly and sticks to topic then shine will come to life without you having to know the exact wavelength of light or quantity of energy required.

Given both intents work on a similar principle (conjuring photons to interact with light), then like push, shine can have similar difficulties when focusing the intent. And like push, curiosity can get the better of some users. I did think about shying away from listing these possibilities, but I believe it more prudent to flag them and the consequences of not heeding my warnings.

The visible section of the light spectrum is only a very narrow band. Other wavelengths are available; radio and microwaves at longer wavelengths (lower energies), and UV and X-ray at shorter wavelengths (higher energies). In fact a shine intent created with the Sun in mind will create a blackbody shine, meaning there will not be one pure colour but a mix of many wavelengths, some extending into the infrared and UV in very low quantities, exactly like the Sun. One has to add the idea of ‘purity’ to narrow the band of colour. If you can make a vibrant green I’ll be very impressed.

Within that simplicity lies a danger. Creating high energy photons isn’t without consequence. Go too high, even by double the energy, you’ll be creating UV photons and give yourself sunburn. Go too low, think the light too faint and pump up the quantity of photons, and you may hurt yourself with infrared light.

Get even sillier and increase the energy per photon by orders of magnitude and you’ll create X-ray and gamma radiation. Note, do not think radiating yourself with this light will help you develop ‘superpowers’. Practising with this textbook is what will help you develop ‘superpowers’. All shineing high energy light on yourself will do is cause cancerous mutations.

I know, I know. Playing with such power is tempting. Thankfully, I believe anyone interested in eventually using their newfound abilities to conjure a gamma radiation torch for their macabre amusement would have long killed themselves off by attempting the stunts in the next chapter.

Applying a direction to the light much like push can both spare you energy and accidentally blind someone, so be mindful of the intensity of light you’re creating in these circumstances. Stick to an omni-directional shine until you’re confident gauging the strength. Although, a laser shine can be useful. I have a feeling I will soon be strong-armed into demonstrating my abilities at work, and when I eventually relent to pressure I have decided to create my own laser pointer for use in lectures. A well-controlled laser can be fun with pets, too - I know the cats (and old dinos) at Capsule Corp got a good run-out with a flick of our fingers!

But I’m off track again. I have a story to finish.

I’m not sure when I began to fall for Videl. It would be neat of me to say I fell in exactly that moment, as the breeze trailed through the long grass, with Videl’s deliberate breaths and determined muttering, her brow, temples and chest shining with the effort. In reality I only observed those things in passing, overcome with admiration only. If you would have told me then and there that I was to marry this girl I would have been beyond confused and mightily embarrassed. Given the difficult situation she’d put me in, I was more continually baffled by her sheer force of will. If I did find that as attractive as I do now, well, my frontal lobes were certainly not informed.

Videl has since admitted that she fell for me first, that she wanted to impress me by both taking to my teaching quickly and catching my eye. I wouldn’t have noticed her prettied appearance if she’d kicked me in the head (which she has done many times) and my lack of social prowess at that age compounded matters. Still, reminding her she’s a softie at heart is a fun tease.

Whilst Videl graduated from my cobbled-together classes we never fulfilled the second of her demands by having a one-on-one at the Tournament. I even attended as the Great Saiyaman, by then our public personas known acquaintances. Sadly, Videl was by all appearances gravely injured by an unscrupulous competitor, the damage’s extent made worse by her stubbornness - she refused to throw in the towel even as her bones shattered. I had to be held back to prevent me interfering with the match. So I do know her feelings towards me were reciprocated by then, even if I denied them at the time.

And that day became the fourth and final time we met.

The unpleasant individual who nearly took Videl’s life was part of a larger, far more formidable group. These outright villains were targeting me, my family and friends, then set their sights on the entire world. We had to abandon the tournament to try and save everyone from the horrors they promised would befall the planet. The Potential Apocalypse was not televised this time. I’m glad no one remembers witnessing it.

Videl wanted to take a stand too, but was unable to keep up on the journey. She knew then she wouldn’t stand a chance.

Then the moment I’d been fearing for so long came and went.

She asked, ever so quietly, whether I was the golden fighter. I steeled myself, knowing this to be the end of our growing friendship. I thought a full stadium had seen me transform so there was no point hiding it. I tried to apologise for lying but she stopped me, asking if my friends and family were the ones at the Cell Games, and whether that made me the little boy, whether we were the ones to kill Cell instead of her father.

My heart was in my throat. I couldn’t choke out an explanation.

But my breath was caught more by the way she looked at me.

Not in shock or fear that a mere child would have been capable of such a feat, or anger at my lies, but only a relieved peace as the final puzzle piece clicked into place.

Despite having confirmation that her father was for all intents and purposes a sham, she, above all, was proud of me.

She sent me off with good luck, a ‘keep safe’ and ‘hurry back’. And I did indeed return to her.

She says it was then she decided to date me, as though I wouldn’t have had a choice in the matter. And I really didn’t, but I didn’t complain. Even with The Great Saiyaman’s identity in tatters, looking back to that day and many more after in those verdant meadows around Mt Paozu, I don’t think I’d have life any other way.

In the next chapter we will begin to amplify genki to enhance the basic ingredients, and develop the supers - super-strength, super-stoicity and super-speed.

next previous first contents ask?

#gohan #videl #hanvi #the great saiyaman #ki #groundbreakingscienceupdate #((thank you to everyone asking about the next chapter <3))#((you kept me going seriously))#((I haven't been well plus been trying to write original PLUS planning my wedding which is on Saturday!))#((then I'll have the brainspace to write more!))

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