#with only a mild fear of being immediately zapped into a pile of ashes

[egophiliac]

hold up, WHERE did the eel slime moisturizer thing in the TWST fandom come from bc i’ve seen it several time just with no context and i’m so confused??

it's from Azul's SR Robes card story! which I remember because I have to periodically look it up again just to make sure it wasn't a fever dream I had because it is BUCKWILD.

short version, Vil is like "ugh fine I'll make a deal with you if you can make me a better moisturizer" and the boys faff around for a few days until they realize they have no idea how to make good moisturizer, and finally Floyd goes "shame he can't be like us, we're SUPER moist!". and somehow this inspires Azul and Jade to go "hmm. yes." and literally juice Floyd like a lemon to sell the resulting mess in a cute bottle to Vil.

smash cut to a few days later with Vil going "fair play boys, this is the best moisturizer I've ever used, what's in it?" and Azul goes "HA HA TRADE SECRET anyway unrelated but Floyd is finally able to walk again".

like there are some pretty decent jokes in Twst that have elicited a sensible chuckle out of me, but this one made me actually go "WHAT" out loud and spend a while looking up kanji because surely I must have misunderstood. but no, this is just a thing that happens that never gets remarked on again! and it was pre-episode 5 so I would keep remembering it during Vil's big emotional scenes and that sure made that an experience!

in retrospect I shouldn't be surprised that now the characters are just flinging pies into each other's faces like a Three Stooges' skit because canon is already a complete clowntown circus, why not.

getting to see who's going to pie Malleus is gonna get me through to January I swear

#twisted wonderland #this got longer than i meant for it to sorry #the main story is fine but the card stories are where the REAL good stuff is #ON THE SUBJECT OF PIES THOUGH #my hopes on cater to do the pie-ing for mal #because i think his quasi-friendship with malleus is cute and i wanna see more of it! #and i feel like he's one of the few characters who would actually do it #with only a mild fear of being immediately zapped into a pile of ashes #god #please give me ~*malleus dragon prince of the valley of thorns*~ getting pouty because no one wants to hit him in the face with a pie #it is the only thing i want now