#with people being mean and guilt tripping

[alarainai]

just registered for my university graduation ceremony and i will fall over on stage i can sense it

#like i was actually shaking as i booked everything #what to you mean i have to walk a FULL DISTANCE #IN FRONT OF *PEOPLE* #after being guilt tripped by my GRANDMOTHER #i will be crying

[rouge-the-bat]

i feel like some people forget that not everyone actually can help/engage with issues going on in the world. its great to encourage doing it when people are able to, but its not an obligation everyone needs to abide by or theyre a terrible person.

a lot of people have their own issues, and dont even have the energy to expend for activism. not everyone is well off enough to even be taking care of their own life properly. guilt tripping just causes more undue stress for those already suffering.

#also people dont need to use social media as their source of activism. not posting about it doesnt mean theyre not doing anything #and if you want to encourage people to support causes theres better ways to do that than by guilt tripping #also people dont need to give their life story for you to judge if they actually totally could be being activists #no one owns anyone information on their personal struggles

[gibbearish]

kinda frustrating how we've spent the last few months acknowledging how a lot of well intentioned but guilt trippy social justice posts are like specifically designed to worm into ocd ppls brains and then now every single post abt palestine is "i dont care how bad your mental health is, i dont care how bad looking at all this makes you feel, if you don't read every single post you see on this topic in full you are a horrible person and directly contributing to their deaths. 'waaaah my mental health' well at least youre not being bombed, did you think about that??" and its like. i absolutely get where youre coming from but you dont get to complain that guilt tripping is bad then turn around and use it anyways because you think the cause youre using it for is worthwhile. like. everyone thinks the cause theyre using it for is worthwhile, thats why theyre using it. but its still a shit way to do it

#like when you make a tumblr post to your tumblr blog youre not guilt tripping people who disagree with you #youre guilt tripping your followers who if theyre still following you probably already agree with what youre saying #and esp on a topic with so much brutality involved like. yeah OBVIOUSLY theres people who have to look away #like. yall know a bunch of these posts and articles and videos show graphic injuries in them right? #like i physically cant watch news videos abt this bc i will spend days with my brain making me imagine #peoples deaths in graphic detail specifically because it knows that will upset me. and i would prefer not to do that #in fact me doing that helps palestinians exactly as much as finishing my brussel sprouts helps starving kids #by which i mean none. its just a cheap guilt trip to get you to do something you don't want to #which when it's brussel sprouts thats whatever but when its 'deliberately expose yourself to extremely triggering #things otherwise youre a bad person'. not so much #idk i feel like maybe its due to ppl feeling. agitated abt not being able to do anything abt it #like the government isnt listening and we're a world away so physically /all/ we can do really is sit and watch #so i can understand a) wanting to find someone to lash out at to alleviate that feeling #like if you cant stop the actual problem at the very least you can shout down the people supporting it right? #and b) seeing 'not watching' or even just 'not watching as closely as i am' as a transgression #bc well its all we can do so if youre not even doing that you must be bad #and its like. i really do get it. but the whole world is watching right now‚ like this is THE big news thing happening rn #so a few people choosing to avoid to subject will not make a single iota of difference #idk. i guess what im saying is if youre feeling the urge to yell at someone for not looking close enough #just donate some money to a support fund instead itll do a lot more

[sunlightfeeling]

more of a psa on the blog but I’m going to try to post more solo shoots of the other SMAP members. Because I have a lot of pretty shoots and I just want to ☺️

I know some of you are probably here mainly for the Takuya things, but please enjoy the other shoots that get posted. All of the SMAP members are really lovely…

#I know these are also not going to get as much ‘support’ like how smap ones sometimes go but thats okay #it’s not about that #tbh i think the THING that upsets me the most is that on occasion a post breaks containment for a bit #but only because a specific person reblogged it at THAT specific moment #and i see the notes and im like… #‘my home is wide open…do you want more of this because i have loads more??’ #i feel like a nan that wants to make sure everyone is well-fed even though they JUST got a heaping portion of food #…didn’t really mean to ramble about that… #nor am i trying to guilt-trip anyone into reblogging because again its not about THAT #i just wish more people visited people’s pages if they see a post they like #(talking about tags like ‘omg i love kimutaku’ and i just kind of have this face 😗 waiting for them to show up and then 📭 nada) #or the ones that only reblog that ‘howl japanese va’ post that has a bajillion notes but there’s like…an entire ocean of pictures of him? #why are you only reblogging one? #how do you have such self-restraint? #teach me your ways #actually don’t #i like being insane about old men #*loud incorrect buzzer* #OMG IM STILL WRITING TAGS WHAT THE FU #ramblin but not a gamblin man

[manofmanymons]

On one hand it's kind of annoying how often people think I must be dating my friends because "no one would do all of that for someone they aren't into" but on the other hand it's actually kind of wonderful that I love my friends so much and express that love so frequently and so grandly that I am incomprehensible to straight people

like sorry your friends don't love you as much ig

skill issue

#it's also always so confusing to me when people talk about their like #toxic friendships and relationships like they're so normal #like not only would I never treat someone else like that but I would never let someone treat me like that???? #I feel like #there's one fine line between self-advocacy and selfishness #and another fine line between being cooperative and being a pushover #and a looooooot of people are on the wrong sides of those lines and don't even realize it #'you don't owe anyone anything' in a 'don't let people guilt trip you to use you' kinda way #not in a 'you don't owe your friends kindness and respect' kinda way yknow what I mean #go girl set your boundaries but your boundary shouldnt be 'never ask a favor from me' or 'don't lean on me in times of need'

[portablenetworkgraphic]

.

#mom says that the reason she didnt comfort me while i was having one of the biggest meltdowns of my life was cus i wouldnt tell her what was #wrong and i clearly was capable #like i hate to tell you but just because im technically capable doesnt mean i can communicate easily #im too upset to be able to communicate my thoughts to you about why im upset #she literally told me that its annoying when i cry and scream without telling her whats wrong #she said and i quote I could ask anyone in the world and all of them would be annoyed by this #she said if i just said Sorry i cant calm down i cant talk right now that would be fine like hello? is that not fucking obvious? #i said wouldnt this (being a more concerning thing) make you more sympathetic and she said no it just makes me more annoyed and this is the #normal response #she said even when normal people are throwing up and retching they can communicate whats wrong #that im just pretending to not be able to talk to her to manipulate her and that im being disrespectful by intentionally getting louder and #more disruptive #my parents are convinced i do things on purpose to guilt trip them all the time and i dont understand it because theyve known me for #my whole life and thats the most out of character thing i could ever possibly do but they wont even consider that im not doing that #i asked her why she didnt believe me when i said i wasnt manipulating her and she said I do believe you! when did i ever say i didnt #i dont understand. shes convinced that every normal person behaves like her #and the worst of it is i know shes trying her best and yet still refuses to acknowledge the fact that #I DONT FUCKING MAKE MYSELF MORE MISERABLE ON PURPOSE! #she doesnt seem to understand that overreaction can be conscious and still unavoidable #like yes its not like if i tried i absolutely couldnt calm down and talk to you #but thats not helpful! i dont WANT to try because i am screaming so hard that mythroat will be sore for an entire day! #because i am upset! #i am too upset to care that i can tecxhnically stop #i just dont understand why its so hard to believe im not manipulating her when im genuinely upset #i dont understand why she looks at me like a loose screw. something annoying but not something worth fixing #its always bad enough to warrant anger and never bad enough to warrant a solution #because im crazy but im fine and im not disabled at all

[serenedash]

so I wasn't expecting my khux gameplay post to blow up this much because normally I just shout my khux thoughts into the void and that's that, but it's been really amazing and heartwarming seeing everyone's personal experiences with khux, like I can't say enough how much I LOVE looking at everyone's additions and tags :)

I had tried writing a long post about some khux feelings but it just wasn't coming out right. this post isn't about the game this is about me sorry tl;dr I'm a very anxious person and I love to see other people just as excited about khux as I am because I feel better about how much I like it. which is A Lot

#sorry for being vulnerable it won't happen again /lh #the real tl;dr is that I feel very dumb and stupid and anxious all the time constantly for being obsessed with khux #but again everyone's responses made me feel so much better #like yes its a major source of joy for me but I get so anxious #and I dont really talk to people at all bc of it like discord servers are a special hell but I try anyway #and majority of my khux friends drifted away from it forever ago so I feel kind of really alone by myself #I just love other people's posts and content so much I feel so stupid in comparison- I look up to so many people in the community #making memes is such a great joy for me but I yearn for more yknow. I can be a serious artist past all my clown behavior I promise #I mean all my fics are very serious and angsty but no one reads my writing Im not too confident on regularly posting it so its fine really #I'm just in my own echo chamber on here and I always assume everyone hates me or is at least annoyed by me #like people don't really comment on things I make or send me asks or message me #so not getting feedback except a decent number of notes on my posts is like. not the best #im not guilt tripping people into interacting with me really its fine I swear Im just having my own issues #really dont feel you have to because also Im really bad at conversations fr #my personal tag is 'im rambling' for a reason #but anyway this is my house and if people don't like it they can leave #at the end of the day I love to just create for my own enjoyment #and if people like it too then that's great!!!!! #but I'm also still very anxious all the time

[etherealsign282]

Toxic love and light people will be like "everyone has worth and value in this world" then devalue and mock your worth and existence bc you disagreed with them based on the fact that abusers, rxpists, bigots, and other bad people exist lmao

#they gotta keep it lowkey tho #they cant have anybody grow aware #theyll be like “sorry u're such a hateful evil loser that u think ur rxpist cant change and become valuable” #“i hope u heal from that one day because u're wasting a lot of oxygen being alive rn” #“people like u r the worst bc its like u WANT to see people suffer” #toxic positivity #toxicity #love and light #toxic #toxic spirituality #manipulation #guilt tripping #emotional abuse #its like okay im terrible for thinking a rxpist brings no value and somehow that means i have no value #until i decide to agree with you that everyone has inherent value #which should include me but it doesnt bc apparently disagreeing is worse than rxpists

[icewindandboringhorror]

‘being one of the only people in your entire area actually still taking the pandemic very seriously and following safety measures while every single person around you rapidly decides they completely no longer give a shit’ moodboard

#my bastard in hell i have fucking health conditions #maybe you want to gamble your shit but I simply cannot take those risks dude #and it is increasingly hard to interact with literally any other human being when it seems like we both live in alternate realities #AND if they won't even give the basic respect of just being careful around ME #just a basic 'okay I know we apparently disagree somehow but at least while you're around me could you take these precautions #to help protect me' then it's immediately just *deeply personal reason against it* *argument entirely based on how the person #feels and not any actual current data or pandemic statistics* *random personal anecdote* *reckless nihilism based in #reasonable and understandable exasperation but still missing the point and not ultimately practically helpful in terms of genuinely preventi #ng things from getting worse and simply worsening the conditions that foster the nihilism and exasperation in the first place* *ableism* #*the weirdest fucking argument you've ever heard in your life* *some other entirely personal sentimental reasoning* #*some argument that basically boils down to the fact that they don't trust or respect or care about you and your boundaries or health* #like gHHHGhhhhhhhhhh #JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME AND WEAR A MASK FOR 30 MINUTES whY does it have to be a debate WHY is that SOO hard #also people I know keep planning stuff and trying to force and guilt trip me and others in my household to go do stuff with them #and are like planning vacations and all this stupud bullshit and now I'm constantly having to put up with it and seem 'mean' or whatever #one of my roomates is fine but the other one is more emotionally volatile and definitely prone to being pulled in by being Lonely #or wanting to do stuff with loved ones and compromising on safety because they're being manipulated by the people around them #into feeling like they're being a burden by asking people to wear masks or etc. so its a constant trust issue where I have to just desparate #ly hoep that when left on their own they're ACTUALLY going to stand up for themselves and stick to their beliefs #and not just like come home and lie about following sfatey measures then secretly give me covid or something.. hhh... WHICH wouldnt be a pro #blem if EVERYONE on the earth wasnt just acting like the pandemic is over and deciding to be reckless - because then it's a matter of #social conformity and peer pressure and following the Culture instead of the data and even people who were safe before will see everyone aro #und them taking things less seriously and decide maybe now it's reasonable to do the same thing themselves or etc. etc. #and it's like... nothing with the VIRUS ITSELF changed lol.. the response changed and the culture changed but the part that matters is the #SAME....the virus isn't looking around like 'hey people seem more chill about this now - maybe I should just relax a little bit and not #infect people for a while. i really dont want to get in the way of their pool party summer vacation and all of that. i'll just step back' #HHHHHHHHHHHHH anyway.... oi am goin inshane lov........... #covid mention #covid tw

[vimbry]

you ever see posts that are like, "hey this place doesn't function like many other socials. content will only get shared around by reblogging it, so if you like something, keep that in mind! consider leaving feedback more often too! don't forget to appreciate artists!" and you're like yeees.

but then either that post, or the comments after, descend into, "you should be grateful for fandom creators! reblog everything you see! don't like! they put so much hard work into everything they make for free! you're a consumer and you owe them your attention! it's free! they do it for free!" and you're like noooo oo o.

#also I think. while there prob are some people used to twitter and tiktok who legitimately aren't familiar with the algorithm/lack of #I think people sometimes simply don't want to reblog something. it's not a misconception you can clear up for them #this is not hyperbole. I saw someone call people who engage with fandom creators' content consumers #unless you're talking about commissions/other paid work no we are not #I agree creators DO generally deserve more appreciation and not be treated like automatons who produce your fav thing #but now it's been phrased in a way that's a bit demanding so I'm not going to platform that #I'm sorry but if someone likes something. it means they liked it #and they engaged with it in a way that showed that they liked it #I vastly prefer feedback too! it's my favourite! I actually find it super hard to conceptualise likes despite what I just said lol #but it's something I gotta work on myself #venting makes you feel a bit better but let's not pretend trying to guilt trip people into engaging with you more is going to work #that will at most get you a short wave of pity reblogs. nobody wants that for their creations #idk the inflated sense of self-importance given to internet creators feels really strange to me #I don't get why fandom hobbyist is considered this great title worthy of inherent reverence now #I mean ''now'' isn't exactly true I know there's been BNFs for decades but. I mean just like #the act of Being an online creator for anything gets you treated as if you're some kind of neurotic captive animal

[eliseliedl]

my disappointment is immeasureable

#this is about h*llena taylor #THIS WOMAN... the audacity she has is fucking incredible #the way she lied so shamelessly knowing damn well nothing she was saying was true #and encouraged the fans who have been waiting for YEARS to boycott the game #because PG couldn't pay her the ridiculous amount of money the greedy bitch wanted #PEOPLE CANCELLED THEIR PREORDERS OVER THIS #because she played the victim so well and tried to guilt trip ppl by saying you aren't true Bayonetta fans if u don't support ME #who the fuck does she think she is holy shit #i hate that i tried to defend her all this time #i wasn't about to cancel my preorder just cause she said so but i did try to take her side #and even after being publicly exposed as the fucking liar she is SHE STILL WANTS US TO BOYCOTT THE GAME #GIRL FUCK YOU like full offense you are a terrible person the Bayonetta franchise gave you everything????? #it's quite literally her only role and she was so ready to throw the games under the bus out of spite #she's so childish and immature i'm genuinely still so shocked #i mean how were we supposed to know she was lying she broke her contract ALL to make the game flop #imagine going to such lengths. you literally ruined your career for such petty thing #i hate her so much rn. the last thing this franchise needed is another fucking controversy #all my support to jennifer hale who had to even deal with h*llena talking shit about her bc she took 'her' role #i mean bitch what did you expect!! PG tried to keep you in the role all they could but nope. you had to ask for more #A LOT MORE #ugh. anyway glad the truth is out #i did think the timing was too perfect and the way she spoke about jennifer was despicable but man......... she really lied about everything #what a snob #delete later

[mejomonster]

Enforcing boundaries has only been a positive since learning and practicing. Every relationship that’s good for my life remains good or gets even better, every relationship that’s hurt me either improves or falls away either way leaving a lot of relief and life just becomes a lot less stressful. If you worry you take care of others and forget yourself and don’t want to say no to people even when doing so would help you feel better, if you feel guilty a lot in life over a lot of things, i really think boundaries would help. i promise the good relationships in life will only continue to be good or become better, and the ones that hurt will stop and it will feel better in the long run. 

this article might help but there’s honestly a plethora of info, find explanations that are helpful for you

#rant #anxiety #i know maybe only 1 person will see this who might need it but really. if u do need it. try it #i used to feel guilty and hate myself for just ADMITTING to a friend i had a bad day instead of a good day #which was not healthy for me. and it also didn't help my friends. i THOUGHT it did (hiding pain from them) but friends WANT to know #how you really are and help you the way you help them. #honest communication and honest boundary setting go a LONG way to make good relationships a million times better #and make pained ones either stop hurting or stop being connections in ur life. #if a boundary ruins something then really that thing ruined is probably something that hurt you. #i had a situation with my mom of lifelong codependency. you know how it is lol. i had to go low/no contact #i decided eventually when i was strong enough to accept her anger or disowning me. that i'd set boundaries. #id decided i would NOT let her scream at me or hit me. if she did then i would NOT talk to her. #and it was scary. she did yell. and i had to enforce my boundaries and stop talking to her and not go to her house if she did. #but ultimately you know? she apologized to me. she wanted to be in my life badly enough to stop yelling at me. she has not yelled at me in #over 2 years now. she has not tried to guilt trip me (call me a selfish bitch/horrible person/accuse me of wanting her dead etc) in 1.5 year #because when she did start doing that i'd stop engaging and enforce my boundaries. im not talking to people who treat me that way. #it is absolutely mindboggling to me. that now i can call my mom and Actually ask for help. that i can feel even 70% certain #she wont say something so cruel i end up feeling suicidal. #its absolutely mindblowing i can call her for help now. i can rely on her and even somewhat trust her now. #i can say i love you on the phone and know i mean it now. know i don't hate her now. #because i Let myself hate her. i let myself hate the cruel things she did and i decided i wasn't #going to be in her life if she did them. and she decided she cared about me enough to Stop doing them. #it was also good for her. because back in my guilt state i felt she couldnt fend without me (i know i was wrong lol) #but when i stopped dropping everything for her? she learned to reach out to friends and form a support network #she learned to ask for help respectfully to people. to do things on her own that she could. to TALK to her other loved ones #when sad instead of bottling it until she wanted to die and yelling at others. she started some self work for her own mental health. #not because i told her or tried codependently to push her to help herself. no. she did it because the consequences of her actions happened. #she was cruel to her kid so her kid didn't let her be. and she wanted to be with her kid so she worked on changing. #shes still working on it but i am still honestly shocked. id been prepared to never see her again if it had to happen after boundaries. #i had abusive romantic relationships and. none of them would've changed to be better for me. they would've left me

[ajarofpickledtears]

love ppl being like "if you blaze or have a checkmark you need to donate to my post" like I ordered food a few days ago or bought a video game last month do I need to donate to one of the thousands of donation posts now too because I dared spend money for something non-essential for myself

#cylas speaks #like i legit feel bad every time i dont donate and probably have spend way too much money i technically dont have on strangers #but being like That and basically trying to guilt trip ppl or just being bitter and not letting people just enjoy things makes me so much #less likely to even just consider it #like call me petty but if i have to choose between someone just legitimately asking for help and someone being kinda entitled about it #no one ows you anything and not donating to you specifically doesnt mean their racist/ableist/transphobic/hate sex workers etc #I'd buy everyone lunch or their month's groceries or medication if i could #but maybe just let people have things

[goldensunset]

i envy the people who have no shame self-reblogging their own art dozens of times every now and then. for me it’s like ok i get three shots at this and if still nobody cares about it after that i’m just gonna give up and save myself any further embarrassment

#if a self rb gets no responses at all i’ll delete it to save face before likely trying again later #but i can only do that so many times before i feel stupid #i can only let myself be vulnerable so many times before i shrivel up and die #then it’s onto the next thing (that will also inevitably fail #struggle is real frfrfrfrfrfrfrfrfr #peach rambles #ahhh but should i even be making this post. i don’t wanna guilt trip people into thinking they should rb my art #if they didn’t like it enough to do so the first time of their own volition then they don’t like it period even if they pretend to later #and i’d rather they not silently pretend. only say or do as much as you mean to #i just kinda stop caring about making more art if i don’t get any feedback #i don’t want pity i just want. earnest appreciation i guess #just a comment or tag #idc about numbers and i’m not monetizing stuff #i just have to try harder ig and someday i’ll be a respectable artist who makes stuff people care about #but i can’t force myself to do anything more than what i feel like #however what i’m passionate about clearly isn’t what others are passionate about and like #creating art in and of itself is a great and fun hobby #but being able to share it with others and have it spark any sort of joy is the other half of it #the creator’s struggle

[starboundsingularities]

gotten to the point where im just going to block people for leaving passive aggressive messages on their art post about how “dont just LIKE it if you dont reblog my art youre basically useless to me” ok then <3 i wont <3 i actually think it sucks now since youre being a bitch about it <3

#same goes for people who make donation posts and go DONT TAG AS DONATION OR BOOST people have certain tags blocked for a reason #if someone has donation tags blocked theyre not donating #and if someone doesnt wanna rb your art then you being an ass about it isnt gonna make it more likely #and when i say ''i actually think it sucks now'' i mean like. #not like ''im not interacting BECAUSE your art is shit'' #but like. #''your art can be the mona fucking lisa but if you guilt me over not reblogging it then its a bit shit. your awful vibes tainted it.'' #sick of being guilt tripped everywhere i go basically <3 shut the fuck up

[ceruleanmage]

ahahah. don’t you just love it when you watch you and your extended family tear apart at the seams. sooo fun

#vent in tags #in a bit of a pickle with the Cousins #one of them is having a wedding but it’s in a place that my family cannot get to easily #or I mean. we can get there by flying but that’s a whole other can of worms #like logically none of us will be granted time off for that since we just all took a week off last week #not to mention when people go back to school we’re gonna be severely understaffed and they’ll need everyone they can get their hands on #but my cousin is trying very hard to get us to book tickets for a flight now—the wedding is in november. #we’re trying to tell them we just can’t commit this early. but they’re being really pushy about it #kinda guilt tripping us with “you know how important this is to me and [fiance]” #and we’re all like. yeah. we get it. but we literally can’t make this decision until november rolls around #because only then will we know the extent of our Work Crises #i know damn well that if we can’t make it to the wedding they’ll blame US and not the fact that they chose a really inconvenient destination #and like yeah. #it’s their wedding. they can do whatever the hell they want. but expecting us to spend all that money to show up for a couple days is rude #and it’s not even that money is necessarily the problem—though it is a huge factor considering my parents are prepping for three of us— #—to go to college #but the biggest thing is just that they don’t seem to get that we’re decent people and we’re not gonna fuck over our workplace just for this #the store is understaffed already. if the staff weren’t so kind I wouldn’t care. but theyre all truly wonderful people #like. are we supposed to apologize to our cousin for taking our jobs seriously and caring about keeping the store running smoothly? #the four of us (yeah. all my siblings work there) CANNOT get time off again like we did a week ago. that was a one time thing #so like. sorry fam but the weddings lookin really unappealing right now #mage monologues #tw family