#with ritz crackers lmfao

[nomaishuttle]

if i was the bride in that video where they played an LMFAO WEDDING MARCH MASHUP? it would have been a bloodbath in there

#i know im literally an lmfao enjoyer we all have our vices However . if i was expecting just The wedding march and then fucking #IM IN MIAMI BITCH . i wouldve have exploded into a horrible powder that fills the room and suffocates everybody in there. it would have #been dire... #however. i think thats why im not fit to have a wedding bc ik Everyone gets stressed over the wedding #and something always goes wrong. but i think if one thing went wrong id quite literally walk out of the venue never to be seen again. #theyd be like omg aur nahr them um. crackers are. saltines instead of ritz and id be halfway across the country #<- why am i serving ritz crackers at my wedding??? maybe like a charcuterie board #but if ppl started laughing during one of the like special parts id start crying. regardless of the reason like The musician messes up iii #would not care that they were laughing at the musician id be so mortified . #I LIKE 2 THINK IM LIKE. HAPPY GO LUCKY AND USUALLY I CAN MAKE A JOKE OUT OF THINGS... and i don't want my wedding to just be everhone #like. 😐 yk i want it to be fun im rly not a super stuffy person #but like. at some parts of the wedding in my brain they are very regimented and i need Those parts to go off without a hitch #like. the reception? get absolutely sillay. but like.. walking down the aisle or whatever #thats like the moment. ig rly thats kind of the only time If something went wrong id die. like legit any other time like #the mic cuts out during vows. whatever. thats funny and recoverable.. kids start being loud during the ceremony thats fine rhats cute. #but like. imagining like.. tripping during the walk up. no id just stay down on the ground. i wouldnt grt back up. theyd have to get a l #stretcher to get me out of there and id never speakagain

[comraderoscoes]

#thought the sickness was leaving me but i can’t do anything without getting a stomach cramp lmfao #scared to stand up and fetch a humble ritz cracker that will take me 12 hours to eat bc of the pain #wtaf have i done to my digestive system

[torchickentacos]

I've developed a new strategy to countering unhelpful urges to self sabotage out of spite- This approach is 'Would my friends* yell at me** for this?'

So, currently I'm dealing with the ordeal of 'if one more person tells me to drink more water for my chronic illness, as if I don't know my own chronic illness better than they do, then I'm going to intentionally drink as little water as I can for a week in response'. Unfortunately, 1.) I live with people who tell me this often, usually in spats they started, so I'd be drinking... not much water, and 2.) self sabotage is fine and great and fun (not really) until it's at the expense of your own health (really) so I've had to figure out ways to get my brain to back down from this. Because I have gone through with it before to bad results with frustratingly little satisfaction at the end of the spiteful road. Mostly, it just makes me black out more.

The current working strategy for...not-doing-this is 'would my friends yell at me for intentionally dehydrating myself', or 'would my friends yell at me for calling ritz crackers an adequate lunch' or 'would my friends yell at me for telling my parents I'm going on a walk, only to go sit on the curb a block over in January for an hour'? The answer tends to be yes.

Because here's the thing. Will I do health/wellbeing things out of compliance to authority? No. I actively want to do them less every time I'm told to, at this point. It makes me want to become the problem people think I am. HOWEVER, I will do these things for myself, my own future and wellbeing, and for my friends who care about said future and wellbeing. SO FAR this approach of stopping and asking, 'would [friend's name(s)] appreciate this?' actually works really well, because no, they'd absolutely not appreciate me doing that, and I currently value their opinion far more than other people's.

So congrats to my friends for getting me to drink water (or gatorade, or liquid IV or whatever else) by existing!

*This includes mutuals. Feel free to substitute with 'would I get a concerned anon about this?'.

**Note that my friends are lovely and would not actually yell at me <3 Some of them might give me some negative discord react emojis about it though lmfao :drew: :deadash6: :imnotmadimjustdisappointed:

#ok to rb #we stan recognizing our unhelpful behavioral patterns and trying to curb them <3 #my third grade teacher liked to repeatedly call me defiant and oppositional. i kinda see it now #i think the term on my iep was 'pathological demand avoidance' but ksjdksjhxnbv same difference i guess #oversharing in the name of spreading helpful strategies #taylor's tag #long post

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

So I never really got into AHS but I recently saw Kai Anderson with a buzzcut and nearly choked on my Ritz cracker. You guys I not only dated an Evan Peters doppelgänger but I was engaged to him too! Yo Evan you got a twin in Louisiana bro! We lasted four years and even though a lot of us speculate on how Evan is in the bedroom, I can confirm his twin was compassionate and thick af. I’m suppose to be back in Louisiana next month to celebrate my bday (March 13th) and he wants to hangout.

i love this message lmfao incredible

[p1nkpr3ttypr1nc3ss]

hieee -

i weighed in this morning at 178.8. this is still losing weight but its slowing down so much ): i need to lose more and fast

i am nervous though that my body is getting too used to me not eating and thats why im not losing as much as i have been. i decided to eat today (and take lax lmfao) to try and curb it.

my plan for today was to eat and stay under my limit of 800cal. i got home from the movies with my friends and i went upstairs to eat, and quickly kinda lost control, lol. i had wonton soup (300), a baby caprese salad (150), 2 slices of scali bread (113), one caramel rice cake (50), and 4 ritz crackers (56). totaling out to 665cal, its still below my limit ! thank fucking god. i took 3 laxatives to purge it out and to keep my weight moving. i will let y’all know what happens, hopefully i made the right choices today ):

prev. weight: 179

weigh in: 178.8

total cal: 665

net cal: 665

hope everyone had a good day c:

- ala <3

#ala diary moment #anarecja #anamia #anarecyx #bulimima #bulimba #not pro just using tags #it's not as simple as just eating #i wanna be weightless

[sugaftrm]

chaa nastha just hits different ☕️

#with porota/ruti #with ritz crackers lmfao #with pbj sandwiches dunked in #comfort <3 #tw:food

[bitchiha]

can i have minato with pregnant s/o? thankyou :D

A/N: sure thing!! Thanks 4 the request!

✎ Minato with a pregnant s/o!

I wrote something about one of the other ninjas reading a book about pregnancy and I think this perfectly fits in w/ Minato too. Like he reads at least three of them just to make sure he knows what he’s doing. Turns out to be helpful as FUCK. Like he knows the things that even you don’t know.

Will definitely let you read the books too, but you’re not interested bc you don’t have the patience. So instead you just ask him for guidance in the things that you don’t understand or if you’re feeling a certain way and are unsure if it’s normal. Book marks important pages in the books if you ever need consulting if he or anyone else isn’t there to help you.

If you’re pregnancy is starting to weigh you down and you can’t easily walk around anymore, meaning you can’t go out and shop for cute baby clothes and things like that — Minato will make it work. Orders catalogs from every maternity and baby shop he can find. Brings them to you and flips through them with you while you’re resting in bed.

Probably just as invested in cute baby clothes as you LOL. You definitely spoil ur kid and it hasn’t even been birthed yet. Cute cribs, adorable little stuffed animals, all that shit.

The first time you had a mood swings episode he didn’t handle it well at all. He just kinda stood there and was like: lmfao what do I do. His books did not teach him how to deal with this. Then with some trial and error he makes a very well rounded battle plan for these situations. You’re kicking and screaming over something? he’ll know what to do. Or you’re crying over something? that means he’s using battle plan #3. Honestly he’s so dedicated to helping you figure this stuff out. King.

We all know Minato is the cook of the house. I mean you both alternate who’s gonna cook but... Minato is better. So when it comes to taking care of you during your pregnancy he will cook you A+ meals. When you start requesting really weird dishes he’s kinda butthurt bc why tf do you want Nutella on Ritz crackers.. Then he remembers you’re carrying his child and he will get you Ritz crackers and Nutella if is the last thing he does.

Loves when you get super affectionate. Will be your personal teddy bear. When you’re like this and you two are cuddled on the couch or something he takes it as an opportunity to talk about the baby. Like baby names, their room, what you want them to be like, etc... he gets so excited when you guys get into these conversations.

Hes so fucking soft when the baby bump starts coming in. Loves to just gently place his hands in your stomach. Literally does it at random times. Moves them over it softly, like he’s scared he’s gonna hurt you. When he does this he gets all emotional and is like “y/n, we’re having a baby omg.” Lowkey gets more emotional than you LFMOAAO.

He definitely cries of happiness when you can feel the baby kicking. It just feels so much more real to him. Places his hands on your stomach to feel it. “Wow.. that’s our child.” He’s deadass in disbelief. Happy disbelief tho.

So caring and attentive ommmmgg. He just wants to make sure you’re comfortable and healthy. He’s also super reassuring. Like if you’re scared about being a mom he will comfort you 100%. Sometimes he will need his own reassurance so please don’t forget about him! Make sure you tell him about how good a father he will be. Comforts you by giving massages and holding your hand, etc...

Pregnancy proofs the house.. kinda like baby proofing, but for the carrier of the baby. Makes things more accessible to you as the baby bump grows bigger. Maybe you don’t want to walk as far or reach as high for certain things and he’ll immediately pick up on that. Moves the items around to easier places.

Overall 10/10 would recommend letting this dude impregnate you.

#naruto shippuden #naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines #naruto x reader #anime headcanon #naruto headcanon #minato namikaze #minato headcanons #minato x reader

[fernweh-s]

It's 12am and I'm (for some reason) thinking about s'mores, but like, non-traditional ones, like with Ritz crackers instead of Graham crackers, and a Reese's cup in place of just regular chocolate and like that sounds bomb af

so I was like '...what about oreo cookies instead of graham crackers'

and then I was like 'do they even SELL just the cookies? without the cream?? is that a thing you can buy??' so I looked it up and you CAN but only if you wanna get 670 (or more) of them lmfao. So now any future oreo-s'mores plans I may have had are foiled. Smh.

#mel's musings; #'why not just scrape off the cream if you don't want it in this hypothetical s'more' you might be wondering #and my answer is bc that is extra effort!!! a whole extra step!! #'then why not leave it' you might say to THAT #and my answer is bc then it's too much sugary sweet!! it'll be over powering with the marshmallow!!! #'why tf are you even thinking about this so late at night' might be your final to question #and to that I say....idk my brain was just like 'hey...s'mores tho' and I was like 'oooo yeah...s'mores....'

[grackleclaw]

figured i would log my experience getting vaccinated !! focusing on physical symptoms and general feelings. i’ll add to this for funsies as things happen. get vaccinated!!!

wee bit of context: i track my heartrate regularly because of some ongoing issues with cardiovascular health and abnormally high resting heart rate (~85ish?). with that in mind, don’t take my numbers TOO seriously

12:12p - johnson&johnson vaccine received

12:27p - heartrate spiked to 131, heat waves, dizziness, blurry vision. very sudden, but brief. an intense but generally normal response to vaccination. heartrate calms down a bit, but fluctuates and remains high thereafter (~96-132). tbf i was very anxious!

12:52p - noticed arm soreness when i drove home. put my hand on the steering wheel and immediately went “oh no”

2:00-4:00p - tired, relaxed, took a NAP! unsure how much of my tiredness was from the vaccine and how much was from my ongoing burnout lmfao

4:00p - feelin good, feelin fresh, feelin wide awake and ready to roll

6:30p - little bit of nausea, headache

6:45p - significant fatigue, consistent heart rate at 110-119, couldn’t focus. left class early

7:15p - crawl into BED! all-over muscle aches and that general shaky-tired feeling. very weak. realize it’s been years since i’ve been sick, realize i forgot what being sick feels like, realize i’m in for it now. pop some ibuprofen and hope for the best baybeeee

9:20p - arose from snnz hell because i realized i forgot to turn in an assignment. fortunately feeling a little better, but still tired and very ache-y. also remembering how good ritz crackers are dklfjhkf

7:20a - wake up to nausea and headache. still weak. body aches are better, but still around. they get a little more intense as the morning goes on, especially at my hips, but overall still not bad.

10:30a - I dont feel that sick *walks to kitchen* *legs nearly give out* oh

by 3:00p i felt completely better. not ready to run a marathon or anything, but feeling good! arm still a little sore, but that’s no big deal.

my appetite was still pretty poor for the next 24+hrs. wee bit of nausea.

#my posts #if only i had a sweetheart to take care of me...... #apparently even feeling ill wont stop me from pining

[jimmyvesey]

you told me my soul was so much more than i let on and i could picture you clawing at it chipping away my secrets taking a y incision to my still beating heart isn’t romantic but i can still picture your hands cracking open my chest picking up my insecurities you said you wanted all of it couldn’t wait to see what i’ve been hiding

i am so much more gentle more wary there’s a secret you wanted to know i’m scared i just want to give and give and give my happiness is so often hidden in others

i’d like to crack open your soul i know your skin is make of sarcasm but your bones are still bones with breaks and secrets and everything i want to know

we are much more similar than you think we want secrets but can we give up our own maybe we will both break together to answer your question i’m not sure if it’s a mistake yet

#s is for shitty poetry #not making a tag 4 u bc i’m superstitious as fuc #just fucking kidding lmfao 2 seconds later i was coming up with one #131 #rm #stop being mean to ur writing 2k19 #literally all of my poems go in a different direction than i thought they would initially #but i don't know if i'm ever rly mad at it #i do think i suck at finishing poems but idk if ur even supposed to ~finish~ them like is that a thing. do they rly need to be perfect. #it's poetry it's drabble it's whatever u want it doesn't need to be perfect #it's funny i fucking made a tag for him and THEN IT DIDN'T WORK OUT why is the universe this way #this is called how to cook with ritz crackers

[wvttvk]

Self Care Questions

I was tagged by miss @davidskisses

🌿Favorite Comfort Food: when I’m tryin to relax I usually have some coffee and it’s weird but sometimes just ritz crackers with cream cheese is a vibe

🌼Favorite Alcohol (or hot drink): when I’m out I always either get a Long Island, a dirty Shirley, or rum & coke!

🌷Favorite Relaxing Activity: if you don’t know this about me... I’m a pretty big marijuana smoker lmfao so me and my sisters do bonding sessions where we smoke and talk and that’s my happy unwind time

🌸Favorite fluffy/feel good fic: I don’t have specific stories but I reread a lot of stuff that @davidskisses @nataliesgringa & @nostalthicc have posted!

🌻Favorite Calming Scent: eucalyptus or lavender!!

🌺Favorite Relaxing or Uplifting Song: lately I’ve loved Mama Saturn by Tanerélle (I’m writing a David imagine inspired from it currently lol)

🌵Favorite White Noise: rain falling !!

🍄Favorite Book to Get Lost In: final girls & the last time I lied by Riley sager

💐Favorite Chill Out TV Show: Community!

I tag @lodgemendes @notenoughscotty @dobrikfilms

#me #this was fun

[gulsuras]

edward: i love all my friends i’m so lucky to have them

alphonse: who are you friends with

edward: you, winry

alphonse: scar? ling?

edward: ....you mean scrappy doo and lmfao

alphonse pulling out a pic of riza: what about her

edward: that’s....ritz cracker she’s the best

alphonse pointing at roy mustang: and him?

edward: who the fuck is that

#a.txt

[starlightfae]

Tag Rules: Tag 15 followers you want to get to know

I was tagged by @dualwieldingbucklers (but i’m DUMB and it got lost in my likes, sorry it took such a long time to respond! ^u^;)

Nicknames: Drew, Fae, Andrude

Gender: male (mostly)

Zodiac: Scorpio

Height: 5’

Sexuality: pansexual? leaning towards men sexually, but definitely panromantic

Hogwarts House: Slytherin or Hufflepuff

Favourite Animal: bunnies

Favourite song: ??? I don’t have a favorite, I like too much music to pick

Favourite Food: uhh idk steak? mashed potatoes and gravy? french fries?? ritz crackers???

Average hours spent sleeping: like. 8-10. but at the wrong hours.

Cats or Dogs: cats, but only because dogs just?? don’t listen to me?? ever????

Number of blankets I sleep with: technically 3, but only 2 actually cover me. the third is a security blanket ehehehe

Dream trip: idk probably Japan or Italy but I also really like to stay hidden in my own room so like. i’m good with a day trip to lil tokyo too lmfao

When I made this account: blog says 2012 but ngl it feels like it was closer to 2010? but Deviantart confirms it was 2012 (and I had to go thru cringy bullshit to find out lmao)

Why I made this account: my friend and his (ex) girlfriend were on tumblr and they convinced me it was better than Deviantart. idk about better but it definitely made me much less cringy and shit lol

Number of Followers: 1055, but it fluctuates 10 or so followers pretty often ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ doesn’t really matter much to me

tagging @ehentalix, @ace-of-sage, @asderat, @askyanderekun, @haaku, @mistystarshine, @prince-vaporeon, @catbugbus (it won’t let me @ you :/), @melon-slime, @freycturnal, @dont-mess-with-an-aries, and @sgt-spank

ONLY IF Y’ALL WANT TO if you want to ignore this then go ahead i just wanted to tag some of my mutuals ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

#long post #sorry if the mention annoys you #you can tell me not to and i won't anymore