#without Abel smh

[adoraswif3]

Adora deserved so much better than what she got, like I need an episode where she just breaks down crying and letting everything out. I mean she had to watch all 3 of her mother figures die and 2 of them where using her that's traumatic enough but obviously that's not enough. She also had everyone she grew up with and probably ppl she considered family hate and try to kill her in such a short amount of time. Hardly anybody in the show payed attention to her well being and she was basically treated like a weapon throughout the show, can we also mention how she was only 17 when these things happened. She'd also have alot of body trauma from the fail Safe, probably the portal, battle etc. And they couldn't give her one father/mother figure that wouldn't die and would not be abusive smh. She's also treated as she can't function without catra in the fandom and she barely gets any recognition for how amazing she is and how smart she is, let's also mention the blatant victim blaming and abelism the fandom shows towards. Adora has Canon adhd and also displays alot of asd symptoms yet the fandom treats her like she's a baby who doesn't know anything when she's incredibly smart and incredibly cocky, she isn't a 'dumb jock lesbian' she's just adhd and autistic coded.

#she ra netflix #she rants #adora #shera #she ra spop #adora shera #she ra adora

[hermitcraft-8]

o shit??? ur hitting people without inviting me??? damn thats so abelism, tango. not inviting the audihd clown to commit vehicular manslaughter with you. smh. >:::0[

-quiz

hop in loser we're running people over

#also it's dave not tango rn tango stepped out for a bit

[pixiebunnii]

Casey (Ninjago) V2

(IK its closer to like version 15 at this point, but this is only the 2nd time ive posted ab his full info [ninjago ver] here so <3)

Fair warning for scars, mentions of mental illness and disorders, and the like <3 And oc x canon??? if ur fussy ab that??? idk

Casey first, bc he's my little man, my favourite scrunk.

Basic info includes: Casey Abel Tinniel 17 years old (averagely, does change w/lore and how i draw him) He/Him pronouns (feel free to use candy themed neos for him tho, kinda experimenting w/that) Trans-Masc, FTM. Half Oni, Half Human Canonically he has ADHD and BPD. (Feel free to hc him as autistic aswell idm, no other hcs tho pls lmAO, feel free to ask if he does XYZ in my askbox, but do not hc.) British/Japanese. He is 6'3 (tall man, love him, towers over so many), loves candy (any, even that chalky valentines candy stuff), he's left handed, constantly carries chapstick, and kinda needs glasses but rarely wears them (bc hes an arse). He has a dog!!! Leonberger/Great Pyrenees X called Mochi!!!! She's big and fluffyyy!!

He is an EM (Elemental Master), but like his element b kinda stupid but i love messing around with it. (Hes a fandom oc he wasnt made for realism nor to be canon SMH) And a ninja ofc bc what cringe baby's first ninjago oc (he wasnt my first im lying) isnt a ninja!!! Pink ninja go!!!

His element. is. Technology. and I do have basic mechanics written down for it, which i will paste from my notes rn: (Please ignore mentions of "Roni" i will get into that in another post if yall like him enough)

Not me actually thinking and noting down stuff ab Casey's element.

his machines don't need power (batteries, a plug, etc) he can power them himself with his element, but that's draining so he would still add another source of power, and because he already rarely uses his element he can only power small devices.

he's able to cut off power or turn off security systems. (Like just by touching control panels & stuff)

if he knows how to build smth (mechanical) he can just build it instantly, not needing to touch the materials (idk how to explain it? like he can float electronics but he cant hold them mid-air THEY HAVE to be added to Smth mechanical/technological)

is able to hack certain things without touching them, but mostly just does that to annoy Zane when he's younger (Lloyds command/prank) and rarely does it at all later on, leading him to barely be able to do it at alllll when it's needed (most of the time it isn't because of Jay, Nya and Zane having tech knowledge and jay being master of lighting).

Mostly he can just barely use it at all other than to control small devices/andriods because he's never needed to use it. (Up until Roni, which I'll not down stuff for later, might make it so that he's forced to make a few different Oni soldiers and then have his father mass produce them? Idk) probably will change a lot of stuff but these r just notes based on the few ways I thought of him using his element

Elemental notes over (i cant be bothered to edit them)

i was gonna make him a new reference sheet for this post, but instead u can have these: (older art i might've posted but forgor)

(yk that second to last one/the one in the bottom left? yeah ill go into that in another post <3)

i draw him happy to contrast his lore <3333 and the scars tbh, hes so covered in them that drawing him happy and ignoring them is kinda comforting?? idk haha The stories behind his scars r long af so like ill just put them down as "ninja accidents" and move on. His horns and tail r optional, as he's an oni obv smh (shapeshifty boy) I think thats all for him as a character?? He's just a happy silly boy (golden retriever to Lloyds golden cat fr i mean whaTT!!!???) Yeah. Biotech. Aka Lloyd Garmadon, himself, X Casey Abel Tinniel. They r my scrunks, my blorbs, and maybe even, my little guys. I dont have any updated art of them atm, but i promise u i will make some at some point ong!!!! They like to eat candies and stuff together & watch disney movies fr!!!! Casey likes to cook so he makes homemade mochis and stuff a lot n like ong<33333 way to lloyds heart is through candy and i will NOT hear otherwise!!!! Youngest ninja members gotta look out for each other (even if that means kissing sometimes SMH) Thats all for now i think yoooo!!!

#ninjago oc #pixbun casey tinniel #ninjago #oc x canon #pixiebunnz art

[autisticallyfeisty]

SBSK Reviews Volume #1

So I’m doing a new thing. 

I’ve spent a few months watching Special Books for Special Kids (SBSK) videos. For those of you who don’t know, SBSK is a Youtube channel where Chris Ulmer (a former special ed teacher) interviews disabled people (usually children). The videos are highly praised by disabled and nondisabled people alike, to the point where I can’t seem to find any criticism of them on the entire Internet.

And I don’t think the videos are without merit. They’re usually less condescending and “inspirational” than most other documentaries about disabled people. And a lot of his interviews are with people who have the kind of stigmatized disabilities that most of society, including a lot of the disabled community, often don’t like to acknowledge or include. And all the ones I’ve watched seem like pretty cool people. So I think all of that is good and important, and I can see why a lot of people might really like it for those reasons.

...but there are also a lot of things that bug me about the channel, most of which I struggle to put into words when I try to explain them to other people. So I’m going to try writing these reviews, I guess you’d call them, to try and sort my thoughts out. I think I’ll do a few at a time (in no particular order). In these reviews, I will mostly be focusing on Chris’ interview style and the way he interacts with his subjects. I will not be critiquing the interviewees (unless one of them, like, says something offensive. but I haven’t seen that happen yet), I will probably criticise their parents sometimes, but since I know these videos only show a small snippet of their lives, and it’s usually hard to tell what someone’s really like from that, I will try to give them the benefit of the doubt, unless it’s really obvious that something is off.

The Family that Adopted Six Children with Down Syndrome (And One with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome)

(that title sounds like it came from a fanfic on LiveJournal circa 2010)

The first thing he says during the Asher interview segment is “I came here to be your friend.” No, you didn’t. You came here to interview him, supposedly to educate the world about people with Down syndrome, and also because you have chosen to make this channel your job. Therefore you have a business relationship with the people you interview. Just like with any other job, friendships can form over time, but you don’t just walk up to someone on your first day of work and say “I came here to be your friend.” Especially not to a kid, ew. 

(yes, I know this is something Chris does a lot. and yes, I am going to point it out every single time.)

Asher (who looks maybe 12 or 13? definitely not a little kid in any case) pulls himself into Chris’ lap, and instead of politely redirecting him to some other way of showing friendship and hanging out (because they’ve just met and Asher is at an age where he really needs to be learning about physical boundaries, especially with strangers) Chris says “I think I made a new best friend today.”

And then his parents talk about how it’s a coping mechanism for him. Which I get, but...he’s getting older. He could land in some serious danger if he doesn’t learn safer coping mechanisms soon. And I don’t want to judge his parents too harshly; the interview with them isn’t very long and it’s entirely possible that’s this is something they’re working on teaching him. But I do blame Chris. Especially since they’re telling him all about Asher’s trauma around abandonment. Like how can you do that to a kid who you know has that kind of history, just walk into his life for a day and tell him he’s your best friend and then leave? smh

It’s good that the mom acknowledges how her children help each other learn things, instead of painting herself as a saint taking care of completely helpless disabled children.

ok but then she says “He was what is commonly referred to as a ‘feral child’“ and, like, maybe don’t say that right in front of the kid you’re talking about??

“He’s got a lot of information in his head that we don’t always know is there, because he gets stuck on certan topics. Like treadmills, and food. And trains.” See this is why I always laugh/cry when other autistic people talk about people with Down syndrome/intellectual disabilities like they’re a different species from us. How can you not notice the similarities (both in how we are and how people talk about us)?

Why can’t he watch Polar Express today? Do you think nondisabled teenagers seek permission from their parents every time they want to watch something? (I knew I said I would try to refrain from criticizing the parents too much, but yeesh.)

It’s valid to feel sad your adopted kids spent the first few years of their lives in orphanages and to wonder what other abilities they might have developed if they hadn’t been neglected. BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO SAY THAT IN FRONT OF THEM! There is literally no reason to do that. Your daughter is clearly doing her best, just shut up.

When he introduces himself to Audrey, he says “I came here today. I really want to be your friend. What should I do so I can be your friend?” And while I think that’s still too forward of a way to introduce yourself to someone, I do think it’s a bit more respectful and less presumptuous than how in introduced himself to Asher. 

When interviewing Abel, who has Down syndrome and communicates through sign language, Chris kept his questions straightforward and concrete (mostly about things Abel liked). But then when interviewing Roman, who has FAS and is capable of speaking, but has trouble with language processing, Chris asks much more vague and abstract questions, to which Roman, predictably, replies “I don’t know.” I don’t know why Chris took such a different approach to interviewing these two. I would really like to think it’s not because Roman is the only one without Down syndrome, but I’m having trouble thinking of another reason. A lot of times, the less someone “looks” disabled, the more other people will expect the person to act like whatever most people would consider “normal”.

Or maybe Chris figured that since Roman can use his mouth to talk, he must be more capable of communicating complex ideas than someone who signs. Either way, it’s a great illustration of why high-functioning/low-functioning and verbal/noverbal are not very useful as binaries.

I have no idea how old any of these kids(?) are. This is something that’s consistent throughout most of SBSK and I think it’s a problem. Because there are a lot of times, in a lot of videos, where Chris or the parents will be talking to a disabled person in a way that’s fine when talking to a child, but not remotely ok when talking to an adult. And I won’t know what age the person is, so I can’t tell whether people are being condescending to them or not.

At the end of the video, the mom is talking about how Abel likes to pretend he knows less than he does so he can play jokes on people. This made me really happy, because earlier in the video, there were a couple of moments that made me wonder if that’s what was going on. First, when Chris tried to do his usual “I came here to be your friend” * routine, Abel responded by signing “I’m waiting for lunch”. And then later when Chris asks if Abel had a good time today, Abel signs “loud”. And I wondered both times if Abel was being snarky, but I didn’t want to assume because I don’t know him or his communication style. But after what his mom said, I’m pretty sure my first impression was correct.

(*and yes, that is the phrasing Chris used. Compare how he phrased it when talking to Audrey (who can speak fluently) to what he said to Asher and Abel, who seem to be mostly nonspeaking.)

That took a long time. I’m going to review some shorter videos now. (Back when Chris first started the channel, a lot of the interviews were only a minute or two long.)

A***** ***** (Doctors Advised Parents Not to Adopt Her)

Just think, for the rest of her life, whenever someone searches her name, this video, with that title, is going to pop up (probably one of the first results too, since this is such a popular channel). That’s why I blanked out her name; I don’t want to contribute to the problem.

The video opens with her crying while Chris holds her. He hugs her and says “It’s ok. I’m here for you.” Now, I don’t know about you, but if I was holding a young child who I’d never met before and they suddenly started crying, my first thought would be that maybe they were crying because they weren’t comfortable being held by a stranger, not that they were suddenly upset about something unrelated and wanted to be comforted by a stranger. 

The parts where he was singing to her and playing with her seemed alright. I kind of wish he would do stuff like that more. It seems more natural than his usual interview format and conveys a better sense of the children’s personalities, and most importantly, it seems like it’s a lot more comfortable for the children.

Corwin the Man (Down syndrome)

This kid is adorable. And i feel fine about saying that, because unlike most of Chris’ videos, they say what age Corwin is at the beginning, so I don’t have to wonder “wait, is Chris/am I infantilizing a teenager/adult?”

Ugh, there’s Chris asking “I feel like we’re best friends, do you feel like we’re best friends?” and Corwin says “yes” because what else are you going to do when you’re a kid in that situation and you have multiple adults looking at you expectantly.

Chris asks what makes him sad, and Corwin replies, “I’m not happy when Mom pressures me.” And I loved that, because the more recent SBSK videos are so generic, with interviewees rarely being encouraged to talk about anything unhappy, Or if they are, they’re expected to talk about bullying and the like, never about anything happening at home. So that was surprising and refreshing that he was allowed to say that.

But then Chris ruins it by saying, super condescendingly, “Moms pressure you because they love you.”

Aaaaaaand I’m done for now. This was interesting though. I’ll do another batch soon.

#down syndrome #disability in media #actuallyautistic #SBSK reviews

[skymoonfish]

Smmh, I’m seriously disappointed in Selena’s choice in getting back together with Justin after not too long ago with Abel. I mean??? Why??? I seriously thought she met up with him to show there was no bad blood between them and that they could be friends, genuine friends who could help each other and be the better for each other. But hearing they got back together??? Smh, I’m really disappointed. I love Selena to death, and don’t want to see her go back to the pitiful dark of depth after all she had been through. I thought she was better than this, seriously. I’m sorry but I don’t approve of this. Yes, they’ve grown, but old ways don’t go away easily. I’m just, I’m seriously wishing Selena’s feelings for Justin is tossed away like trash, but instead she is helplessly stuck to him like she can’t live without him?? I hate for her to get hurt again. Well, I’ll still be for Selena when things get bad but I really hope if it doesn’t work out, they end it in a healthy way and just stay friends or stay away from each other. I don’t support toxic and unhealthy relationship. I don’t really care. I don’t sugarcoat on something that is painful for either for them.

#My Text #Selena Gomez #Justin Bieber #Jelena #Smh #I hate this though #I just can't #I thought she got past this and I don't want it to happen to her again #She better know what she's doing #Rant

[convndrums]

here the FAWK she ( the semi-finished masterlist of all my characters ) is ! took way too long but hopefully as you proceed to click on the linque below you’ll know why smh but yep ! i’ll be adding their pages on my account when i’m done with them soon i hope and maybe come back with a bunch of connections for each character but for now this is all i got & smash this like or im me for plots i’d love to get on those finally xx

reintroducing amanda wheeler;  intro & info page.

queen of irony. rich post- faux country gal who’s a loud homosexual and writes hetero fics/has an indie het smut for the absolute shits and giggles. dates a married woman she’s utterly in love with and will pull the life support cord for. said to be possessed by a possessed flapper. cute and knows it even though she looks like a republican. socially open & everywhere. morally grey.

reintroducing imogen yates; intro & info page. ( tw violence )

the grey area between your mom friend and your drunk aunt. happily vegan & owns a vegan restaurant called the fork, alt. the vegan cult’s lair. won’t kill you, but will convince you she really wants to. local brat tamer. minds her business via minding others. clashed head-first into nature’s very own reset button: amnesia. used to be satan and traumatized everyone. disgustingly active and accomplishing.

reintroducing ethan holland; intro & info page. ( tw suicide )

he is a sk8r boi, she said see ya later boy ( and meant it. they’re dating now. hey lourdes ! ) a nice person, so nice he doesn’t realize how fake he sounds/is. a certified headass. previously a bully/bully enabler, current guilty fuck. #torn. does the most for his loved ones. doesn’t remember his own birthday. googled foot fetishes once. trolls stan twitter with his fake selena gomez stan account when tumblr crashes. burned a sue of cide note with his name scribbled on it.

reintroducing sebastian miller; intro & info page ( tw violence )

kazimer sokolov whom. russian ex-cult member well-adjusted into a mundane life via lies, a fake canadian accent he’s ‘trying to get rid of’, being a twilight saga aficionado and a dickwad, a lame record store and a tumblr blog to keep himself sane by maintaining a general aesthetic and shitting on people and every discourse out there. knives/books sniffer. allegedly fucked a moose. probably kinkshames as a way to deal with his own “kinks” aka please keep the dead bodies away. ( im kidding i swear but [redacted] )

reintroducing prudence zima; intro & info page ( tw death )

parents died in a fire when she was two months old and it shows. idolizes avril lavigne & her favorite movie is lords of dogtown for aesthetics references. dude. social leech or effortless networker ? both. remains in her lane regardless. cry-types probably. here for a good time, not a long time. steals your stash and smokes you out with it. avid dick connoisseur. minimum effort lifestyle. either on her way to become a manager of some one hit wonder band that finds it’s demise in a freak accident, a drug dealer or god forbid, a guidance counselor; depends. mild cool girl syndrome. 

reintroducing jennifer meade; intro & info page ( tw death, violence and abuse )

bi/pussy muncher and proud misandrist, first and foremost. remembers killing her brother very fondly. the one girl in a room to call when you want to kill a bug and you’re relieved until she kills it with her bare hand. tops. unstable & chaotic evil, respectively. the ginger devil. biased and has her minion whom she invests a great deal of her time in brain washing and obsessing over. supposedly here to make amends but that’s not happening any time soon.

reintroducing margot williams; intro & info page ( tw mental illness )

deserves better. very gay. all her friends are heathens xtra, take it slow. corrects typos in the gc. a nerdy editorial assistant daydreaming about publishing houses instead of the magazine she works for. lowkey shy and she’s angry about it. goes off if she must. jacks off to #knowledge and yuri anime. helps with homework and essays and takes the kids out. deadpan because we’re original but she swears it’s just the face & unresolved trauma. stans her therapist. unofficial older sister.

reintroducing chandler accardi; intro ( re-written ) & info page

needs to do better. dropped out of college for culinary school then dropped out of that too. was engaged to an absolute goddess he ultimately wronged ( with her damn best friend, bitch disgostin* ) and got kicked out to the curb. currently residing in the couch of his sister until things are resolved. thot-by-default & annoying. has like three ( 3 ) redeeming qualities. has never been told to shut up and it shows. works at buzzfeed.

reintroducing abel gautier; intro & info page

french and “confused”. lives a minimalist n’ expensive life. if american psycho & french kiss were the same movie. wine sniffer. the devil bakes croissants. will watch you die. takes grudges to the afterlife. gets attached but either ruins it or ruins it to spare everyone, himself included. falls in love a lot but knows how to calm the fuck down. very giving, fortunately. manipulative but isn’t too wild about bending everything to his will. 

reintroducing simini gale; intro & info page ( tw abuse, violence & mental illness )

token white actress & character in rosie’s show. [ britney vc ] its me.... against dissociation. a loud mess with an intense mental state and anger issues dulled out by her prescribed meds and whatever pill she got in the bottom of her manager’s purse. dependent and distraught about it. grocery shopping for garbage food and attending comedy stand up shows half drunk as a hobby. stable ? where. very nice and super flighty. heels are hot. wishes she could fight someone without feeling the urge to actually fight someone. 

reintroducing calvin o’shea; intro & info page ( tw mental illness )

it’s not just the depression more than the incredible self hatred. walks into rooms with his bad energy, grumpy mood and cunty attitude. graduated college just to shut his dad up. wants to die harder than edward cullen. just doesn’t give a shit. has a baby named freddie mercury ( also known as the antichrist, with alanis, his mortal literal enemy whom he absolutely despises and will not hesitate to put his dick back in again lbr ) who will probably grow up to talk shit about his parents whom he also mentioned in his tell-all book on ellen. works at his family’s bookstore that sucks the life energy out of college students nearing a mental breakdown.

reintroducing isabel pavia; intro & info page ( tw drug use )

contemporary dances her feelings away. too ambitious for her own good but knows what she’s doing. in a goth ass secret society ( here ) a.k.a her new found purpose. knows everything eventually. oddly trustworthy. doesn’t know what speaking loudly is, let alone yelling. loves the moon & has that moon app. had to take painkillers when she twisted her ankle very badly and would take them for a while for stress and performance reasons, but has stopped. a quiet angel. 

reintroducing anastasia zeller; intro & info page

ambitious/multi-talented asshole. horror trash & an emotional/mental maze which translates well into her weird works on no sleep reddit and current horror comedy podcast. ( click here for info ). needs a therapist according to a friend, whom she dropped for saying that. will bite your head off. obsessed with her works to an unhealthy point. would love to establish a company and stuff out of it and is working on that. healthy relationships are a semi-foreign concept.

reintroducing morgan booker; intro & info page ( tw death )

vape-curious and takes photos of ghost towns and abandoned-everythings because #vision. had a roadtrip phase like the fake deep idiot he is. morally grey. genuinely here for a good laugh and spreading joy in the form of hover-friendships and taking lit candids of his friends. knows shit and comes off as a creep sometimes but does he really care. knows your mom’s name. lives in a disused hospital bc he’s marinating on that aesthetic. 

reintroducing bowie harmon; intro & info page ( tw drug use & abuse )

part of a duo in a web series as the anxious n’ cackling mess. showcases her depressión & anxieté by her colorful wigs n’ new hair dyes. painful receptionist at a tattoo parlor. recovering addict who advocates for drug use. thinks tattooing a ruler on someone’s dick one day would be the peak of her accomplishments as a tattoo artist. daily bad decisions. “ it’s complicated. ” when asked about literally any relationship she has with anyone in her life. traumas include her failed singing career. an ex viner-by-association.

reintroducing shaheen bin baz; intro & info page ( tw violence & mental illness )

the physical deception of going through hell in a short amount of time with zero mental durability to begin with during midterms. trigger-anxious. will shoot your toes off your foot if caught off guard. aided in criminal operations with the brilliance of his mind in codes. would not mind dying. seasons your food. waters his crops in his balcony garden. the grey area between a super laidback dude and a crackhead with violent tendencies. nearing a mental breakdown probably. 

reintroducing minka abbott-santos; intro & info page ( tw abuse )

defeats the evil stepmom stereotype one breath at a time. the human embodiment of a deer. gothic angel. alarmingly gets black swan. type to wake up to her staring at you from an armchair across the room, but lovingly, with a book she was reading in hand and two hot cups of tea; she was waiting to start the day with you. spooky until you get to know her and even more spookier when she’s ( note: calmly ) pissed but that’s extremely rare. gentle voice, soul and everything.

reintroducing reuben faulkner; intro & info page ( tw abuse & violence  )

rekt hell prince. lived in an amish community with his family until he got kidnapped away from home when he was seven into an awful living situation. doesn’t remember if the gas leak that happened five years later and killed everyone was his doing or not. knows where his real family is after months of tracking them down but. blood kink under investigation. shady bouncer at a shady club. has issues he has no care or time to diminish. fights for the shits and giggles. leaves texts at read. leaves you alone for your own good and his own sanity. 

reintroducing alexandra turunen;  info page

wants to do everything and be everything and doesn’t know what to do with herself ( read: post-graduation identity crisis ) currently investing in a motorcycle for no reason. essentially jobless. a “retired” kathryn merteuil who “outgrew” her cunning ways since highschool but really only found new socially destructive interests. appears to be self-possessed but she’s #shaken. doesn’t care about how well she presents herself anymore after getting rejected by four universities and refusing to accept her father’s offer to pull some strings to get her in one. sleeps a lot. 

reintroducing giuseppe del vecchio;  info page ( tw death & drug use  )

goes by pepe because well. son of italian oil peeps & is extra. said to be in a cult when all he’s in is this extra ass dining club that does the most for initiation ceremonies. ready to fall in love with you. goes to the king’s college in london and studies business & changes his minor way too often for everyone’s liking. into everything and will be down to do whatever. faux deep. mischievous shit. incredibly unbiased. had his rawrk n’ roll phase that died along with someone in a club literally. still has it but he knows god now & less drugs.

reintroducing kelian scott;  info page ( tw death & drug use  )

a father/father figure who tries™. runs a mechanic shop/chop shop because bad decisions and dire needs ( had his son to send to school and his daughter who passed away due to a disease he couldn’t afford to treat even after turning his shop into a chop shop. his wife then left him ). stares into the distance. wants the best for the kids but one of them is a junkie ( he doesn’t know yet ) and the other -- his niece -- is an orphan he’s worried about. thinks ahead 24/7. needs to pull out of this dull n’ depressing daily routine he has fallen into like the basic ass divorced dad he is. 

reintroducing sal presley;  info page

smexy trace & fingerprint detective. talks. the perfect illusion to bring home to your parents and friends. gets shit done which is both a good thing and a bad thing. looks calm, collected n’ well-rested but isn’t. his actual name is salvatore but no. knows how to mix drinks and more; used to showcase his multi-talented ass to make his ( currently ex ) fiancée look good now just himself. was engaged three times; two of those times with the same person. obsessive; gets into his job a little too intensely for no reason but #justice and maybe something else whom knows. loses sleep at least two nights a week as a habit at this point. has an extended family back home he misses occasionally. wishes he could calm down truly. 

#smoke:intros #FINALLY RISING HOLY SH- #ill do some plotting n hopefully get on replies soonish hell yea lets GO!

[exposingsmgask]

Sel just did interview and she can never do 1 without her mentioning Justin smh. Girl we r in 2017 🤦🏾‍♀️ it's so annoying especially when no 1 asked her about him. She was just asked about the concert and she picked A & J. Ariana ws ok but J? It wasn't a must lol 🙄 but since we're all know da if she doesn't mention him in her interviews they would not mk headlines but she knows even 2 sentences on him will & ppl will pay more attention in wateva the comment made abt him dan her intrvw 🤦🏾‍♀️

Lmao so typical. She's smart. She's trying to milk some Jelena drama and still have a PR with Abel. Unfortunately for her no one cares about her little small remark.

[beatmyaudio]

Sin City Song Lyrics – Kanye West

Sin City Song Lyrics

Sin City Song Lyrics From Popular Hollywood Artist Kanye West from Cruel Summer Album.

This song is sung by singer ” Kanye West ” in Year .

Lyrics of Sin City :

10 a..m it’s west side bitch She see the glasses, so obvious Run from home, after tonight we up out of here Don’t go home cause they just ran me up out of there All of those drunken nights then fuckin’ every night She run her mouth, but can’t eat right Don’t read between the line and forgot how to be white She smelled the line, baby you know you don’t need white Now look what we did now, the cops behind us Ran that red light, did you have to be mindless? SMH, we all know that cocaine killed Abel From the scholar letters devour this She stepped into hell, cause winter got cold Don’t look in her eyes, you might see straight to her soul Don’t say yes to that good, cause you’ll never know Cause we lost in the city where sin is no biggy I’m here with open arms and I gotta Here is where her heart belongs Her heart belongs to me Here is where her heart I’m here and I won’t go Without her, this is where her heart belongs It should be here with me Here is where her heart I beg for mercy today They won’t take me away Take me away from you Don’t know what I would do Don’t let us die in vain Don’t let them see our pain Wash these demons away Wash these demons away You are all unwelcome to Sin City Yet the population still increases its density And that increases its intensity Which increases the propensity To complicate your simplicity No matter your ethnicity All for the sake of publicity, in this city Huh, bad bitches with ass shots Use a house as a stash spot Lexus coupe with the rag-top I’m in the loop, warm tie like a ascot I used to run with the have-nots Kept the ave hot just so we could have knots A lot of niggaz see they dreams in a glass pot Until the judge throw you in that box and watch your ass rot We broke all the commandments Authentic, I’m hand-stitched Come spend a day in my Hamlet My city lost, some say it’s Atlantis I went to Cannes with a tan bitch, Francis She rode the broom on the beach, that’s a sand witch So I ate her like it, haters hate to like it Sex, drugs, and playin’ dices, those are our favorite vices But this life’ll take a toll on ya Well I guess you gotta pay the prices I know who Christ is And he never hung with the Saints it makes no sense to save the righteous By the age ten, we were caged in Now they raise men in the state pen Fake friends, forgive ’em for they sins God bless the city, amen And now I’m one of the residents They walk with none of the repercuss’, but all of the decadence And all the fuckin’ debauchery Adult film star, somebody’s fuckin’ watchin’ me I always feel like, I’m almost feel like Cause I could feel it in the air tonight I did some wrongs I wouldn’t dare to right And wrote some songs I wouldn’t dare recite But I am willing to share tonight In the city that is as unfair as life

Sin City Song Lyrics

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[solasulad]

The Cousin Josh.

I’m feeling all types of emotions with this one. And I know I really really fucked up but I’m hating my self asking for more. I don’t think I’m gonna ask. I’ll just let it be like always but until then imma cry myself to sleep once I get those itches.

So.. let’s start..

Abel called me Friday night saying happy birthday. Told him thanks and that we should chill, me him and josh + whatever girls I could gather. He said sure I was like ii. Completely forgot about it for a second until he called me Saturday after noon asking what was up with josh on the line I was like blessed! If worst comes to worst I can chill with these guys. Had plans with S. for dinner but she flopped on me, so took these guys on instead. Invited R, to come to the club so it was perfect!

After running back and forth from one end of the city to another, I finally get to the Airbnb and settle in. It’s about 8pm now and my sister was tryna come over but told her nah. More like yah come but ignored her.

Anyways. I get to the Airbnb and start to slowly figure my life out. R. says she finishes at 9 and will come over after getting dressed I’m like cool, tell the boys to meet for 10 at the Airbnb. Bomb, I have an hour before the guys are to come and I slowly/quickly get ready.

I’m doing my make up, r. Hits me up with she’s gonna be late so I’m like Okk cause the guys haven’t arrived yet.

It’s now 10 & I get a call from Abel saying he’s down stairs... I’m like wow... okay my faces done by still haven’t got dressed & not sure if I was gonna add more make up on. So they kinda just fucked that up.

I finish whatever makeup I can, I put my shoes on and get them from downstairs. They both give me hugs Abel gives me a kiss on the neck and picks me up. Josh gives me a hug that’s it. We head up stairs, they chill on the bed/couch while playing music as I get ready. I’m running back and forth from the bed to washroom cause it’s an open Airbnb aka loft. So I finally get my dress & underwear put it on and lotion myself up. I walk out the washroom and they say it looks good, Abel complimenting me heavy as fuck and well, josh saying it looks good. In that moment I never really payed josh any attention cause he wasn’t looking my way. I just left it as that cause abel was trying heavy.

Anyways, they both compliment my dress, my hair and make up. I felt like the shit. We wait for my friend to come  & head downstairs for a smoke. Took only one pull of the weed and felt it. They both drinking so they give me some & I kill it. They ask me what I’m tryna do I’m like get drunk drunk 😭.

We wait for R. Then send her an Uber to her, she comes at 11:30 ish & we head out to the club.

Abel started puking up in the car and I was like wow really. Grown ass niggah can’t handle himself. Smh

We get to the club I’m like wavy but not drunk R.’s chilling dancing, Josh orders is a drink and I’m like w/e I’m good with it. He gets us Jack Daniels & coke. I’m drinking that shit like it’s water sipping it fast.. then Abel gives me his. I’m like awh sheet gonna get fucked up 🙌🏾!

Finish his drink then start dancing not really doing much just moving my ass, lol there was a moment when after hoping rooms we found a chill vibe and I started shaking my ass twerking, the dress was so short so I had to stop. Abel kept amping me up that was dirty annoying 😩. We stuck with the guys and danced, before walking into the club R. Asks me about the guys & I tell her Joshs a cute but Abel’s cock blocking & that if she was down to go for him. She’s like she’s had her eyes on him & he is a cutie. I’m like “well damn” before even coming to the club I was laying down on the bed and showed Abel a pic of R said I was gonna hook josh and her up.

So now the club. When emotions kinda ran thru me. So we are now still in a room dancing. I’m enjoying myself and just dancing with the group kinda. Not really hugging up anyone just there dancing Abel tried to get me to turn around but I didn’t. Anyways, we dancing me looking towards Abel and Abel moving in squares like he’s retarded, I turn around to see if R. Was good and see her and josh kissing... I was like well damn now look at this. My mood was like “shit, but whatever Abel’s cock blocked me”

So, after a couple mins R comes to me and she’s like omg he’s so cute, im like yo go for it he’s a cutie!! Also I’m like yo Abel’s cock blocking’s me I need to meet some guys. She’s like we’re gonna ditch them and go out. Blessed right?? Yah well.. we tell them that we’re gonna use the washroom. As we’re leaving I’m like joshs 96 so be aware she’s like idc he’s hot, I tell her go for it! My geographic area of guys have big dicks anyways & she starts to laugh. We use the washroom, then decide to make are way around she wanted to finesse guys for drinks lmao. We end up walking out and some guy pulls on her. He looked like Israel we went to high school with. So she’s taking to this guy & I’m just standing there... I’m looking around his friends are looking at me but no ones approaching me. One big ass belly guy came to me asking me my name, I tell him then it’s quite. I’m like what’s yours? He tells me he’s called snack, so i make a joke saying cause he eats a lot! LMAO he didn’t find that funny, but then it’s quite, he gives me his henny bottle and I take a big ass shot not thinking that I’d get fucked up.. hes like eh. LOL...

So then it gets quite, this short guy was just looking at me, he then approaches me asks for my insta gram I give him my name he adds me. Not really making Convos with the guys cause they beat as fuck. I just stand there. I hesitated on leaving her but didn’t want to get lost, so then.. I turn around and see josh walking around, I approach him & he comes over, he sees R with a guy and we’re like let’s go back to the room?

We all are walking together then out of nowhere we lose R and the guy. Me and Josh can’t find her but then something happens. I think he complimented me on my dress cause he said I looked sexy or something.

(Bare with me, the remaining shit I’m about to say is based off of drunken memory)

So he says something and then leans in for a tight hug I guess cause I end up biting his neck then he starts kissing me. I’m trying to remember how it started but idk lol I was off it.

So we kissing and minding our own business when I ask where’s Abel? He’s like behind you? I turn around and see him, Josh says let’s go for a smoke, we go outside & leave Abel inside. Josh takes his jacket off puts it on me so smooth &  We get a smoke from someone & then continue the convo.

Not sure but I remember telling him that I found him attractive at first but Abel was into me, then telling him that I told him I just wanted to be friends. I think I also told him what he did that night I went over to his place and how I left early. He’s like Abel’s into you really idk man it’s rough.

So he’s smoking then puts the cig in my mouth while my hands are in his pockets. So smooth so   Fucking cute. We make out more outside until Abel comes, then not sure what happens but he ends up leaving us alone. And we’re both like fuck.

I guess I didn’t want him to see us like that and get hurt. So we kept it short afterwards.

The henny starts to kick in and I feel mad sick. Like nauseous out of nowhere. We walking back and met with abel inside, joshs still holding me tight cause my walking fucked up, I guess he felt me wanting to throw up and he he asks if I’m good, I shrug no and he asks if I wanna throw up I’m like yah, he rushes me to the washroom and I start puking. He entered the girls side and holding my hair back while I puke rubbing my back. I feel better so we go after I wash my mouth.

It’s time to go and get my coat from the front, we still don’t know where R is so we end up just going without her. Waiting in the line for my coat I feel sick again, and then josh rushes me back to the washroom as he’s holding me from the back I start puking up on his arm and then in the toilet, I finish wash my mouth and apologize he’s like it’s okay don’t worry. I’m saying sorry and that I’m such a light weight.

We go outside and get hotdogs from the front, waiting for it I drink water they give me and then slowly eat the hot dog, I couldn’t even eat it cause I was so drunk I started puking again. They call an Uber and it comes right away. Before getting into the car I puke a little more and then sit in the middle between them both. I close my eyes and just try to breathe as josh says.

We get to the Airbnb quick & im sobering up kinda. Lol nah not really but better than puking that’s for sure.

We get upstairs and laugh that r’s gone, I’m like idk she met some guy that’s all her. We get in and I’m freezing. I get comfy on the bed while abel and josh play some music. Josh starts playing some weeknd songs and I start obsessing singing while laying down. Abel comes in the bed tryna cuddle and I get out leave him in the bed alone lmao.

So I put my hoodie on but still feel cold so i change into jeans and a hoodie. I come back into the room abel walls in and I sit on the side of the bed.

I’m sitting on the bed Abel’s falling and sleep and joshs sitting on the couch. Josh says he’s gonna go for a smoke, looks at me and asks if I wanna come with I’m like yah.

We leave go outside and he’s smoking his spliff. We start talking about what happened in the club and I’m like my friend likes you tho, he’s like nah it’s not even like that I was just there cause she was. I’m like okay, the once again tryna remember what happened but we end up kissing while he’s smoking his spliff, he takes a pull and blows it into my mouth. We kiss more outside then once he’s done he’s like let’s go for a walk.

We start walking towards the area I parked at, and find a corner stairwell outside that leads into the parking. There’s a camera up there so nothing freaky happened but... he starts kissing me grabbing me up and I had to stop him cause I wasn’t tryna be on the internet for some thotty shit.

So we start walking back to the building and then I’m like fuck I wanna fuck you or something, and he says the same, I ask him imma need a dick pic and he’s like you wanna see it I’m like yes! He pulls it out right then and there. I’m shookth at the size and thickness like wth. I tell him I’m tight and that’s gonna hurt. So I’m horny now and we make our way back upstairs. I say I need your body on a bed but laugh that Abel’s knocked out on the bed.

We head to the pool room in the building and look around see only one camera there, we block ourselves from the camera and start making out more. He pulls his dick out and I’m like I’m not gonna suck it here but he begs, so I only give him a tease of it. I go down on him without knowing what I’m doing I deep throat it. I finish not making him cum but get back up and he starts kissing me.

We leave that room and head back up stairs making out in the elevator. We get into the apartment and Abel’s knocked out, I take my jacket off and turn around and see josh waving at me to come in the bathroom. We get in and start making out more he pulls my pants off and goes down on me I’m shook as fuck cause he’s actually eating it hard & I come from that!!! He finishes up pulls his dick and NO CONDOM and fucks me raw. I’m face down ass up on the toilet he’s going in I’m trying not to scream banging my head on the wall, I’m dry at this point because of the position and limited space, but we switch and he spits on me to lube me up.

I’m sitting down backwards to him riding him and then he comes pulling me off backing me away on the floor. I’m like wow. This mother fucker!

He finishes and is still hard as fuck! Like wtf mane pls. He goes in again after cleaning up and a couple mins later I tap out. - not sure actually, thinking he only did it once now -

But anyhoo, we finish up in the bathroom both weird cause of the situation with Abel & me with R.

He leave and I clean up myself. I come back into the bed area and lay down adjacent to abel.

It’s now 6am and I’m trying to sleep knowing I gotta check out at 11am.. smh In set the alarm and close my eyes.

Wake up from Abel around 9am pissed cause I only got 1 and a half hours of sleep. Smh we get my things and we check out.

Josh drives us back to Abel’s cause I’m still fucked from last night both mentally and pussy wise.

We get to his and we aren’t really saying much about what happened last night. We get some breakfast and head back to his place now it’s like 11am or so, still tiered.

We in Abel’s room just chilling and Abel steps out, I think I brought up what happened last night and the whole mood changes cause he starts looking at me all sexual and I’m doing the same. Abel comes back and we stop. We kept doing that pretty much the whole time abel would leave. He went to the washroom to get changed and then josh said something about how he wanted to kiss me rn, I lean over towards him and we start making out on the bed, I think we heard foot steps so he backed off of me, Abel came in the room and left again, and we go back at it.

After that Abel stays in and we chill listening to music.

Josh calls one of his boys over FaceTime talking. I say something and then his friend asks who’s that, he says it’s a friend. Joshs friend after a minute or so says give me the phone to her I show my face and he’s like “hey joshs my best friend don’t take him” I’m like uhm, you can have him I didn’t even want him smiling, look up joshs smirking. So I pass the phone over to josh and his friends like she gorgeous as fuck. They continue the talk and I over hear joshs friend say something about him and a girl. I’m listening but pretending not really, on my phone.

He’s like it is what it is, mans like I feel you you there she’s there, you have needs. So the. Josh says something kicking my leg I ignore it pretending not to listen. He switches up starts speaking in his language tryna throw me off and then puts headphones in. Whole time Abel’s just sitting on the bed while I’m laying down.

So they finish the convo and then it just vibes from there Abel’s playing Chris brown wet the bed and other sexual songs.

I tell him I’m about to go and josh asks if I can drop him off close by I’m like yah. Already knowing what we about to do why not?

I tell abel I’m gonna go he’s like nooooo pls just stay blah blah blah unattractive as fuck. I finally leave after an hour or so saying I was gonna go now it’s like 3pm. Give abel a hug and leave with josh.

We get in the car jump on the highway and head downtown again.

Car ride was quite, wasn’t really talking about what happened until maybe 10-15 mins in?

So I bring it up and then he’s like it was wild nothing he’s seen before like the head game wasn’t sloppy but classy as fuck. How I deep the dick down and the looks I was giving him. I tell him same I was shook when he ate me out of nowhere and then he tells me my shits tight the tightest he’s ever gotten. I’m like wow lol

So I’m driving now on regular roads and I look over at him and kiss him. Trying to pay attention to the road we kiss for a bit then get to his area.

He asks if I wanna chill for a bit I’m like yah why not. We park up beside his place and we’re making out, he’s sucking on my tits and pulls my pants down fingering me hard. I cum once again from that and he takes his fingers dips it into his mouth and puts it in mine then continues kissing me.

I had it at this point this why is a freak!!!

I lean over to his side and go in for head, I look at his dick and see the bumps I seen earlier when I was sucking him in the pool room.....

So I stop and ask him if he’s good? He’s like yah don’t worry those are just rashes from dryness... I’m like you sure? Cause they where red and fresh rashes on his dick.... possible herpes man!!

He’s like nah they aren’t and that he’s clean I’m just tryna make sure, tell him if I get an std I’m killing him!!

He assured me it’s nothing and I continue. Smh I deep it maybe two three times and call it a quits. Told him I’m tryna tease him cause of the place we parked up at is risky...

So he has blue balls now and then tucks it away, starts biting on my tits again and I’m done it felt sooo good like shit has only did that to me other guys don’t know how to suck tits!

He’s sucking it and we make out more I lean again playing with his dick after I told him to put it away i pull it out again. Smh I kiss it some more and say that’s final. I tell him I have to go, he’s like okay. But we still continue kissing. I pull off saying I got to go and then mood changes.

Those rough sexual kisses turn into emotional kisses we kiss slowly and with passion, I felt that heavy.

He tells me leave him here he’ll walk over to his place and I can head out, I’m like okay.

I tell him bye zaddy as he leaves. He laughs.

I pull out the parking spot and see him standing there waiting so it seemed. His look was like he was upset or something.

I roll down the window do a eating sign with my hand and tongue and he smiles.

I leave. That’s that.

Now it’s Monday. Didn’t hear from him since yesterday after I dropped him off. Don’t know if I wanna be with him cause those kisses got me fucked up real shit.

We even talked about plans on fucking but space and time was an issue. He jokingly said “you know I’m a busy person, you gotta make an appointment in advance I’m like lol so I can’t hit you up randomly saying I need dick?” He laughs.

But real shit, Saturday night was wild. I didn’t think I was gonna end up with him either. He’s a fine mother fucker too. Oh man. Now I was creeping his insta earlier and still see the rose and D next to his bio.. go to his girls page and see the same J with a black heart. Smh she isn’t even cute, idk if I wanna do anything with him.

Don’t think he’ll hit me up unless it’s a party, but it is what it is. He’s 96 I’m 95 I don’t want to picture myself with him cause of his religion either. I gotta step back and forget about Saturday night.

Got me at work all fucked up, wanting to send him a message but pulled back. Smh.

Now I don’t know if I want to continue it cause Abel’s feelings are gonna get crushed heavy in the process so I’m just gonna let it be. He’s looking out for his cousin and I get that but also thinking why block your happiness?

Whatever.

& now that’s how I enter my 23 years of life. Getting raw fucked in the bathroom while sucking a dick that has bumps on it. I need to go get checked out maybe this weekend cause i can't bare the pain if it happens.  Ha.