The "NSFW = Easy Mode" Post
We all know this post. We all know this complaint. NSFW artists have faced it the entire time we've spent drawing.
Aside from being hugely denigrating towards a very legitimate craft, there are multiple fallacies involved in the argument.
Let's start off with the most obvious, the very real phenomena of getting visible traction on social media sites. Namely, to say that, LIKES/RTS DO NOT TRANSLATE TO FINANCIAL STABILITY. Working your ass off does. NSFW artists who make it their livelihood churn out an absurd amount of work to stay relevant, constantly have to work outside of comfort zones, and face steep competition.
Next, the argument presumes that all NSFW is created equal. It's not. For example: mlm, that is to say, men loving men, will earn you much more traction than wlw, women loving women, and mlm involving trans bodies will earn you much less traction than the cis standard. Additionally, your audience for any of those things is NEVER guaranteed.
It places porn an erotica on the same footing, which is also enormously wrongheaded. Porn has an almost singular focus on secondary sex characteristics, and will rush straight to the point at every given opportunity; erotica is holistic, and doesn't even really have to show genitalia in order to hit its mark, if it's written and framed correctly.
To be clear: both of these things take an enormous amount of skill. It is not something you just learn to do overnight. Good, illustrated porn requires an understanding of action, anatomy, perspective, and all sorts of other technical skills that are often beyond even very adept artists.
With erotica, technical prowess is less of a focus. It's more on character art, scene setting, and story (be it implied by imagery or written in). I don't need to explain the level of expertise this requires, not the least of which is being a good writer, which is fully beyond a lot of peoples' grasp. It's a whole different skill, and being good at erotica is tough for even industry professionals. Many are embarrassingly bad at it.
The other bullet points, I outlined in a Twitter rant, but here they are:
NSFW artists face logistical hurdles SFW artists don't. Namely: we don't know when the site we're posting on will ban NSFW content.
We can be randomly banned/shadowbanned from a site whose rules are not especially clear (Tumblr), and whose filters are garbage. We can also have our work deboosted and effectively removed from circulation because we didn't label a nipple appropriately (Tumblr still thinks a female-presenting nipple is 100% sexual).
We can have our funding cut at random, for seemingly arbitrary reasons.
We face a host of degrading comments and overfamiliar clients.
NSFW artists working commissions have to take on work they're not personally very interested in. This takes way more work and fortitude than anyone is willing to admit. If you're commissioned for a fetish you don't like, you still have to make it look hot for the person who commissioned you. If you don't think that takes extra effort, IDK what to tell you.
We are constantly subjected to arrogant shitbags saying they can just jump in and make bank, because Site Number Went Up that one time.
Bottom line is the 'I should just do furry porn I guess' joke is not a joke. It's not funny. It's just you showing your ass, and insulting your friends/colleagues, who do very hard work for very little reward.
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Ok see here's the thing. I haven't watched the series itself yet bc quite frankly the movie was just. Horrendous in ways I still go into a blind rage over. So full disclaimer all my complaints stem from there alone.
But like. Firstly you have a ""Good"" Cop character. Then you have a Bad Cop who receives literally zero repercussions for his actions. His fascist overbearing mother likewise is unpunished in any way, shape or form - save minor embarrassment over her son who she raised this way herself. As a funny little joke.
The one character who Consistently has the solutions to get the group places, Izzy, who In Fact is the entire reason the movie got anywhere in the first place (because Sunny never left town herself fsr??), is treated as a joke character, Pinkie but incredibly dumb or nonsensical and who needs "looked after" by the main character (see everyone's favorite 'iconic wlw song', it's never Sunny being looked out for). Wild part is a) she's Obviously smart and clever and creative and self-capable enough to wander the continent Alone with Nothing to help her, and b) she's also voiced by a non-white va which uh. Makes the narrative's treating her like a joke idiot look really dicey!! So got some ableist AND racially charged takes going on here!
Speaking of, Sunny gets to take all the credit when she has Izzy to thank for a lot of what happened. Yes, it's because of 'her' (her dad's) message in a balloon Izzy ever even looked for other ponies but. Sunny never reached out again or tried setting out herself, despite having that sureness and tenacity to do so? Izzy didn't even KNOW that other ponies were safe, she didn't have anyone in her village to tell her anything else, but she STILL took that chance to go looking, risks herself and meets Sunny. So Sunny can then take the credit and get alicorn'd or whatever.
You could say it's that alicorns need to inspire others or whatever but Sunny clearly wasn't doing that to anyone else, because her speech flopped Every Time, including when she was put at risk of bodily harm in the beginning. Inspiring One pony does not a princess make.
(And yes, somehow that same canned speech inspired everyone once her house was destroyed but. Given how people didn't care in the beginning of the movie when she was put in direct danger, I really don't think her house being destroyed should have made an impact)
I could honestly keep going, about how everyone was so bland bc they acted so 'staged', never moving or speaking independently if it wasn't Their Turn; or how there were attempts at characterization that had Zero Payoff and thus seemed weirdly shoved into the writing for no reason (Hitch's dancing didn't have any impact to the story, Izzy makes comments on auras seemingly just to paint her as weird and laughable) ; or primarily how no one has any Flaws, and you can argue they technically do, but none that they get narratively held responsible for!
Actually I will keep going on that last point - in the g4 movie, characters mess up, and get narratively 'punished' for! Either drawing attention of the villains or getting offers of help rescinded (thanks specifically to Twilight! The protagonist!) Their actions and shortsightedness lead to direct consequences, and others around them also recognize this and typically disapprove if only for a moment.
The g5 movie... really does not do this. There's no 'punishment', the rejection and loss the characters experience aren't because they messed up. It's only to show how Tragic they are or to move the plot along (like the house). In fact, there's one instance of genuine criticism - Hitch being upset that Sunny is purposefully endangering his job because his livelihood isn't as important as her ideals - and tbh, given he's a cop, that really doesn't need to be a concern - but that's retracted and used to paint him as wrong for ever doubting her, despite the fact that realistically? She was prioritizing poorly!
No one listened to her and everyone rejected her tired speeches, and that's common knowledge by that point. Her choosing One More Tired Speech over her friend's job and reputation, when she's only ever seen failure, isn't her making some 'for the greater good' choice. That's stubbornness and pride speaking, no matter how well-intended, and she put herself and her friend at risk for a pointless gesture. And she gets ultimately rewarded for this via the rest of the movie proving her right, and awarding her the role of princess.
Anyways. The movie was awful and if anything felt like pro-cop propoganda cleverly disguised as pro-activist sentiment, and while it's been a bit I watched this movie three times to break a lot of this down and I can keep going if needed.
Idk about the series, but the g5 movie sucks and honestly is horrifying to see as accepted by the fandom, because in terms of writing and in terms of meaning it is literal shit.
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THE POWERR I felt when I got voted most likely to marry a girl in a google form with friends like THEY THINK SO HIGHLY OF ME AND IM 100% SURE IM OUT TO ALL OF THEMM
1/26/2021
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me: is sad
ochamina: exists
me: is a little less sad
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https://lady-ha-ha.tumblr.com/post/160715688748/is-that-comic-before-the-reboot-and-which-one-is
(I have not read this comic) Is this true? (if so, ivy deserves someone better).
Post
Kay, first off both of those people are Jarley shippers so take everything they say with a grain of salt and then some, cause no. that part isn't about how much Harley loves Joker and will always choose him over Ivy. Literally you can tell ops don't know what they're talking about cause her whole thing in those issues is going to kill him for years of graphic abuse but ultimately falls back with him once she’s face to face with him.
Like wow, congrats on missing the fucking point again but not surprised from people who ship her with The Fucking Joker.
also, ffs, can anyone please have basic comprehension skills and realize that Harley and Ivy are both fucked up sometimes because they’ve got issues and that’s not comparable to Joker’s long ass history of graphic and disgusting abuse.
Harley and Ivy are villains, they're not a wholesome cookie cutter, White Picket Fence, super vanilla ship with no bad moments. They're both bad guys with a fuck ton of trauma that they both have to work through, and have done so at this point.
Gotham City Sirens was published between 2009 - 2011, Harley and Ivy weren't blatantly romantic at this point nor had they had anywhere near the development that they’ve had at this point.
Like don’t go into Harlivy content expecting them to be the perfect wlw rep with no flaws during their arcs from BTAS to current time cause that’s just not realistic. They’re both deeply flawed people who’ve got a fuck ton of trauma that they need to (and have) worked through.
I have talked about the BTAS issues here and this post is good at explaining them too.
X
X
Harlivy is not and has never been a purely wholesome, goody-goody ship. They’re messy, they have issues, and they have bad moments sometimes, but they both worked through their seperate trauma and came out stronger and better because at the end of the day, they care about each other.
Harlivy has messy, toxic moments sometimes, but they’re not, and have never been, abusive. There’s a difference between unhealthy moments and a ship being abusive.
That’s completely different to how Joker acts Constantly, because he does not care that his actions towards Harley are abusive, because he doesn’t give a shit about her.
He enjoys hurting her. He enjoys ruining her.
Jarley has always been intended to be written and shown as a domestically abusive relationship.
This is also the first instance where it's directly referenced that there's something more than platonic between her and Ivy, other than the reference in Batgirl Adventures.
Gotham City Sirens is also not connected to any verses.
This didn’t happen in the timeline we’re in rn with Harley Quinn (2014)/(2016)/(2021).
Comic timelines and shit are stupid and make everything more confusing and awful and I hate it sdfjdksksdkjsd
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this is gonna be a long post since ops wanna just cut and paste random bits of the issues like jarley stans always do (cause jarley never has good moments that aren’t entirely surrounded by him abusing her) I’m going to show them in full context. *added a keep reading cause it is a lot
(All panels shown are from #15, #18, #19, #20, #21, #23, #24, #25)
So, Harley's entire thing at this point in the GCS comic in that she's been triggered by flashbacks of Joker's abuse and she breaks into Arkham with the intent to kill him.
The entire thing in these issues is showing her smarts and how she knows people's trump cards to get under their skin so she can break into Arkham.
She’s trained to identify these things in people and she's fucking good at pushing people's buttons.
this is also just one of my fav Harley covers so I wanted to show it jsdjksdks
“Trump cards. Everyone has one. Places where the armor we build around ourselves is weakest.”
She’s right. And it’s now shown that Harley’s willing to use those below the belt trump cards if she has to.
And frankly, I’d say this is worse than what she says to Ivy. And I’m not surprised she did it. She didn’t want to, she tried to get him to just open the door -
“Don’t make me do this, Aaron. There are some secrets that should stay hidden. Things you should never learn about your own life.”
but she’s also entirely fueled by rage and the desire to kill Joker. She came here for a reason and she’s not leaving until she’s done it.
“I’m going to kill you. For everything you’ve done to me. All the times you’ve made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive. All the memories -”
“Hello, Harley. I’ve missed you.”
“Memories. That’s all I have left. The past is gone and all I have is... memories.
Memories.
Memory.
Gone.
I guess I too have a trump card.”
“Oh, Ivy. You know exactly what my answer is going to be. But you’re hoping you’re wrong, aren’t you?”
She’s also right about this, they already mentioned this in #18.
“How did I become the bad guy?”
“You’re the one choosing a man over her girls.”
“Are you kidding me? You would never say that to Harley, and we both know she’d dumb us in a flat second if Joker called her.”
“Hey! That’s not fair-- Actually, that’s probably true.”
“The difference is, she can’t help it. You can. And she’s working on it. You’re not working on it.”
“Too easy, Ivy. Too easy. I know your weak spots. Now I just need to push.”
This is exactly what she’s been doing since the starting point of this post. She’s still in that mindset and she knows she can’t beat her on a regular battle field. Neither of them can.
“Like I said-- You beat me in any level playing field. But I don’t fight on those fields.”
Harley’s biggest strength as a villain is her ability to completely mentally stall her opponents and learn their weak spots. She wouldn’t win against the majority of the Big Bads if she didn’t fight on a different field than they are.
so, like yeah, out of context what she says to Ivy seems awful and completely screwed up, and it is, but it’s also built up really well and it’s completely in character for her at this point in her fall during these issues.
Is what she did fucked? absolutely. It’s not painted that it’s not.
Ivy Literally Goes To Kill Her For It.
In the end of this all three of them are recaptured by Catwoman and Batman and that’s where we’re starting off at again.
“Oh, Harley.
The only human I’ve ever called a friend.
To what lengths will I go? Where are my own limits? She is the Strangler fig. And I am the tree, choking underneath.
Without me, she could never grow.
But without her, I would fall if I grew too tall.”
“Will she ever stand by herself?
Will she ever be ready?
She is in throes of madness. She sees him, her brain flooding with adrenaline, it makes her excited, nervous, then the feelings start to fade, and she needs more. And more.
She sees it as passion. She sees it as love.
But it’s not. It’s addiction. And she’s relapsing.”
Ivy is well aware of the nature of their relationship. She’s not stupid and she’s been shown already to know that it’s something that takes time. It’s not a one off break up and it’s over. That’s not how abusve relationships work.
What do I do?
I could use my pheromones to alter her brain chemistry.
I could leave her behind abandoning her to the wilds of her own mind.
I could kill her right now.
Show her how red Nature can be.
There's one other option.
It would require patience.
Even love.
Maybe I'm more human than I want to admit.
"You have one chance to answer this."
I know, if she agrees, she'll be doing it for revenge. For him.
"She put us behind bars."
But maybe if I get away from this place, if I give her something else to think about. Maybe she can break the cycle. But it has to be her choice.
"I'm going to kill her. Come with me."
So yeah, it’s definitely not a just “Harley hurts her and runs off with Joker and it’s just a plain ol’ her choosing him over everyone and that’s that.”
Jarley shippers love to just reduce all her scenes and arcs down to their “epic love” and shit, but that’s taking away literally everything about her and reducing it down to the 3 panels that they’re “cute” in. Her arc in this part is fucking heartbreaking to read.
And Ivy damn well knows what’s going on with her. She’s smart and she’s the one that’s been there throughout all of this. She found her in the park after he shot her out of a rocket.
And she knows it’ll take time for Harley to get over and through his manipulation, that’s just how it works with abusive relationships.
But she’s also not forgiving at first, she’s mad and rightfully so, until she sees the sate of Harley’s cell and realizes how bad her addiction is at that time.
A lot of the unhealthy moments on Harley’s side when it comes to them are directly caused from the effects of being in an abusive relationship with Joker. Because she’s always in this area of her journey in those moments. She’s never fully over him or emancipated.
And that’s realistic. It’s hard sometimes to be friends with someone who’s in abusive relationships like theirs, having to watch them return to that person time and time again and it’s frustrating after a while.
I know from personal experience, it’s really hard to watch someone you care about go back or forgive someone that continues to hurt them.
But abuse victims desperately need a support system outside of their abuser. It’s a crucial part of being able to escape, because when they do try to get out they need someone there or they’ll literally have no where to go but back into their abuser’s arms.
It’s heartbreaking and it’s really rough for everyone effected, but that’s just how it is most of the time. Especially in their case, as they’re not just regular folk dealing with this.
If she doesn’t have Ivy, Harley has no one else to go to but Joker, on more than just an emotional level.
She’s lost her job. Her income. Her home. Her livelihood. Her everything.
Most of the time she has no other choice but to return to a life of crime after she’s released from Arkham because she can’t get a job, she’s a notorious criminal and she’s got a lot of issues that don’t just disappear with a bit of therapy.
She has no other choice but to return to Joker because the other alternative is the streets. At least she knows what to expect with him.
And that’s not even getting into the manipulation, gaslighting and degrading abuse that he drills into her constantly.
He’s made her believe she’s not anything without him. That she’s not smart or useful or anything.
And that’s why it’s so damn important for her to have a support system and why he’s so damn against Ivy.
Because Ivy is the good voice on her shoulder telling her he’s wrong and that she doesn’t deserve that.
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And on Ivy’s side, she’s aware she gets very near cutting off all parts of her humanity.
She’s a plant goddess, she’s insanely powerful and she feels everything through the green. Frankly, she’s not even on the same playing field as these villains. She’s significanty more powerful than Harley and Joker.
Her connection to Harley is what keeps her humanity in tack, because despite everything, she does care about her. She was the first person she let in, the first person Ivy called a friend.
The person that was able to get through to her in #14/#15 when she was losing herself. The one that was able to get through to her that the dude was manipulating her.
“Ivy, I know you think you love this guy... but you’re just gonna end up strapped to his rocket!”
She had to knock her out for the dude to trust her / not attack them anymore. But Harley got through to her by mentioning how they first met in the park when she saved her after Joker shot her off in a rocket.
And Ivy is understandable turned off towards humans considering her origin and trauma around that.
She’s got a lot of trust issues.
But both of them work through their seperate traumas over the years because their affection for each other is stronger than the issues their trauma has given them.
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and also, sometimes, they just have shit writers. that’s an issue overall in comic fandoms. Some writers just fucking suck at getting any of the characters right, let alone LGBT characters, who’re notoriously treated like garbage by DC.
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Hey darling! Don't worry, I like talking about this haha
I've written about why it's different in the girls manga here. Short answer is misogyny. Homophobia in most places in the world is phallocentric (so focused on dick). Gay (cis) women aren’t seen as a threat because what we do isn’t taken seriously. Conservatives don’t think wlw can actually please each other and, if we can, it doesn’t really count. Not really, you know? A woman who maintains sexual relationships with another woman is still seen as a virgin. For them, everything two women do is innocent, bathed in this puritan light.
So technically what Tan Jiu is writing is also illegal, but censorship-wise, mlm stories have it worst. And censorship is a big deal. Yeah, the manhawua is leading to a romance, but we can't undermine the impact censorship has on Old Xian.
To set the scene:
Here’s a news story from Nov. 2020 about Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, author of the novel for The Untamed, being sentenced to 3 years of jail time (the details of the case were not disclosed and we don’t know if they were found guilty or not).
Earlier in 2021 China decided to pull The Untamed from streaming services and to halt production of shows that were being made based on BL books (Nothing even happens on those shows. The stories were already platonic because of heavy censorship and they were still pulled on a whim.)
Or, worse of all,
Chinese writer sentenced to a decade in prison for gay erotic novel (The Guardian, 2018)
In all fairness, the BL author sentenced to a decade caused a huge uproar. Most authors don't suffer the same fate - sometimes they'll have social media profiles taken down, for example. But for Old Xian their art is their livelihood. They make 19 days for the exposure and then use their official platforms to post ads that they draw through Mosspaca Advertising Company. I don't know how much of that they're willing to jeopardize that for the boys. The story is already going further than I ever expected it to.
So.
How can it not happen at all? The way it's already not happening 😅 We've been reading a beautiful love story for five years now with lots of scenes that sort of... fade to black. I think sometimes we're just left to fill in the blanks.
The trick to loving 19 days is managing your expectations. If you know what you're setting yourself up for, you'll enjoy the ride. Who knows, maybe you'll see a kiss on a cheek and find yourself going feral, (pleasantly) surprised 😉
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Eggabell! 🥚
Sexuality Headcanon:
Lesbian!
Gender Headcanon:
Cis woman.
A ship I have with said character:
Lizbert of course. These two are so affectionate with eachother, even in peril. Lizbert's adventurous nature probably brought a lot of excitement into her life, breaking into Wiggle Wigglebottom's concert with your girlfriend sounds very fun. Eggabell just loves her wife.
A BROTP I have with said character:
Chandlo is such a bro, these two are WLW, MLM solidarity and have the most wholesome friendship. Not too much else to say but these two are fun.
Floofty. I love these two. Eggabell enjoys their company even if their morbid sense of humor can be hit or miss. Despite everything Floofty makes her feel helpful seperate from her job, which is something she desperately needs, being relied on for the livelihood of 12 grumps can be pretty tough. It's a good thing the experiments were stopped though.
This isn't really explored in the game but Wambus obviously has a lot of respect for her, and he's one of the first 3 she greets after returning to Snaxburg. Wambus may be stubborn, but hes actually a very easy patient to work with, he's straight to the point and Eggabell apreciates this. Also they definately talk about the dangerous situations their wives get into.
A NOTP I have with said character:
Floofty, (unless it's a polycule with Lizbert.) I don't think I need to elaborate, also I just value their friendship more.
A random headcanon:
Her experiments with Floofty led to the creation of the snaktivator, I also imagine these experiments had a Meet the Medic dynamic where they were just having casual conversations over the bodyhorror.
General Opinion over said character:
I appreciated Eggabell much more on my second playthrough, I love her character development and how despite getting more assertive her kindness stays intact. I think shes neat.
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It is the 6th of September.
Don't know what it means? Continue reading. Know what it means? Also continue reading.
So Exactly 2 years back, on 6th of September 2018, The Supreme Court of India decriminalized consensual sex between consenting adults of the same gender- which was a punishable offense under Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code.
This was considered a huge achievement for the LGBTQ+ community. We saw people celebrating on the streets, outside the court, in the confines of their homes- wherever they could, really. People dancing, singing, laughing, being themselves openly. It was heart touching. I got kind of teary eyed while watching it. The community has based itself on the ideas of "Love Wins" and "Love is Love." But has love really won?
Let us first understand that the right to have sex in the confines of one's bedroom (i.e/aka private space) with a consenting adult has been achieved/earned by the community after the tireless efforts of several activists, lawyers and common people. It is sad that something so basic was considered a crime, if done between consenting people of the same gender, and a privilege, if between consenting heterosexual people.
Now, has love really won? Consider the following:
wlw/mlm marriage is still not legally recognized in India. (It isn't illegal or a crime. It just isn't legally recognized).
wlw/mlm couples still can't legally adopt children. Of course, single parents can- but as a couple, no!
Conversion therapy is still legal in India. The Govt has done nothing to prevent/abolish it.
Queer people cannot serve in the military.
And most importantly, how could we, as a community, let phrases like "love is love" and "love wins" define us? There is so much more to us than that. We still need to fight for the abolition of draconian, unethical laws like the Transgender Persons Protection Act 2019 that erase their right to determine their own identity, forces them to get a certificate of being trans from the Govt and forces them to live with their parents, which could be very toxic and unsafe for trans kids, and more.
We need more provisions for housing, livelihood and educational facilities for the trans and intersex communities. We need the legal recognition of the non binary identity. We need more recognition and protection of intersex people. We need gender neutral toilets for everyone. We need a Govt that is responsive to the needs of the community!
And this is only the legal aspect. I can go on and on about the social aspect- Queerphobia in the Indian society. About the suicides of people belonging to the lgbtq+ community. About the hate we face. About people's ignorance, indifference and about people being unwilling to listen to us. Of course, some people can be incredibly kind and accepting, and that is always nice to see and appreciated.
So this 6th September, while we appreciate and celebrate what our activists and allies have achieved for us- what we have achieved for ourselves, let us also acknowledge that we have a long way to go, and some very serious matters to achieve. We must not forget that we have a lot more to achieve for our trans/non binary communities, and for ourselves. Happy 6th September! 🏳️🌈
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My First Two Loves (WLW version): Chapter 3
Is she gaping? Emma has to be gaping.
“Ava… y-you and… Mason? Are…”
Ava grins rakishly, rubbing a hand along Mason’s back. “Madly in love? Or, well, lust - we haven’t gotten to that other L-word yet.”
Nails. Nails are being driven into her heart.
For his part, Mason looks taken aback by her reaction. “I meant to tell you last night, Emma.”
“You could’ve texted!” A lump is rising in her throat.
Mason scratches the back of his head. “I wanted to tell you in person. I tried to call, but when the line kept dropping, I thought…this is better?”
No. No it is not. It is one million times worse.
“Yeah, you’re right!” Emma forces the words to come out chipper, forces a placid smile. “I… I’m speechless. Congrats, you two.”
Congrats on secretly shattering her heart. But hey, what’s another secret to the now-sure-to-grow pile?
Mason’s shoulders relax, the tension falling from his face as he turns to Ava. “I almost forgot, babe! I got a little something for you.” He reaches over on the hood of Ava’s car where he put a cute little thermos.
Ava tentatively takes it from him, eyes wide in surprise. “Caramel macchiato?”
Mason gives her a shy, crooked smile. “With two shakes of cinnamon.”
Ava’s favorite.
The girl slings her other arm around his neck and rests her head against his cheek. “You remembered! Best boyfriend ever!”
Emma...is going to combust from agony.
“You guys are just so...perfect together,” she grits out, hoping it sounds passably pleasant.
Ava’s eyes find hers, softening just a bit.
Mason lets out a breathy laugh that seems more like a sigh of relief. “See, Ava, I told you she’d be happy for us!”
Ava blinks, breaking her gaze away. “I knew she would be. She is my bestie, after all.” There’s something off about her tone. If she hadn’t told Emma in the car that they were still solid despite Lauren dying to usurp her place, Emma would worry that maybe they weren’t best friends anymore.
Hell, maybe she’s still a little worried. And now for more than the Lauren reason.
“I should leave you alone for some...couple time. Catch you later!” Cue an ungraceful escape.
Mason jogs to catch up. “There’s so many times I tried to call. To tell you.” His voice turns plaintive. “Emma, I just want to double check. Are you okay with this?”
No! I am unequivocally not okay with this! God, how badly Emma wants to shout that at the top of her lungs. If she said it, Mason is exactly the kind of guy who would follow through and break up. He’s good. And that’s the problem.
“Mason. I’m happy for you. And for Ava.”
“...Yeah? Because your happiness means a lot to me.”
And now she has to sell it. “Yeah. I’m stoked. You’re so cute together. I should’ve played matchmaker years ago.” That...might have been overkill. “I just have some things to take care of right now. Talk later, okay?”
Mason nods. It worked. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Emma power-walks away, tears pricking at her eyes as she let her feet take her anywhere else.
After a short time, she rounds a corner, realizing too late that she’s behind the gym near the back parking lot she usually avoided.
And she wasn’t alone.
“Hey there, princess. What brings you to my place of business?” The boy is smarmy, leaning against the brick wall, hair gelled so thickly it wouldn’t move even in a tornado.
Emma stills, confused. “Your...uh, what?”
He frowns, pushing off the wall and wandering closer. “My store. My shop. My livelihood. What you buying?”
Oh. Shit. “I’m not - I’m just trying to get away from some people - ”
The boy comes to a stop too close. “Save it. A sob story won’t get a discount.” He looked her up and down, calculating. Though he definitely didn’t look like someone who was good at math. “Adderall. Has to be. A study buddy. Everyone needs one, right?”
He yanks a plastic bag out of his pocket.
“Oh, no thanks. I appreciate it, but I am not interested.”
His jaw works, clenching and unclenching. “The offer isn’t optional anymore. You saw what I’m selling. You’re part of this.” He takes one more step, his Axe body spray stinging the inside of Emma’s nose. “Now open up that bag and find me two hundred bucks.”
Several thoughts race through Emma’s head. The first, unhelpfully, is two HUNDRED dollars for one bottle of pills? Shortly followed by If I run, will he grab me?
Sensing the direction of her thoughts, the boy huffs. “I don’t like having to hurt people, really.” But he would, hung unspoken in the air.
“Leave her alone, Darren.” The voice is unfamiliar, low, with a rasp to it.
Emma whirls around to the girl stalking toward them. She’s...dangerous looking, leather jacket slung around her broad shoulders, green eyes boring unwaveringly into the aggressive pill-pusher.
The boy - Darren - backs up quickly. “N-Noelle? I didn’t know you were back in town. I’m just trying to run a business, okay?”
Noelle doesn’t speak, just wrenches the bag out of Darren’s hands and flings it onto the roof.
“You bitch!” Darren hesitates, glaring, then turns tail and runs.
The other girl watches him go, the ghost of a smirk on her lips. Up close, she’s taller than Emma, but only just.
It’s like the bubble of nervous energy inside her just bursts, and Emma blurts out, “W-wow, that was...kind of amazing -uh, amazingly stupid!”
Noelle hums, glancing at her. Emma doesn’t miss the way her eyes drift down to her stomach and back. “You gotta fight like with like.”
Emma laughs, a tittering little sound that she hates. She bites her lip, hard. “You’re lucky it didn’t come to a fight.”
The other girl shrugs, unbothered. “I like my chances better than yours.”
Okay...fair.
Noelle sighs, swiping a hand through her bangs to push them out of her chiseled face. “You should get out of here. I can’t spend all day playing guardian angel.”
“Oh.” The comment rubs her the wrong way, but Emma brushes it off. After all, she did call the girl’s heroics stupid. Maybe...maybe there’s a way to make it up to her? “Unless…you’re new, right? Maybe I can repay the favor and show you around?”
Noelle raises a brow. “How do you know I’m new?”
Not an outright rejection, Emma can work with that. She smiles. “I happen to know pretty much everyone here.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
“So you’ve been invisible the past four years? I would definitely have remembered you.” The last part comes out without her even thinking it.
Green eyes drop to the ground, expression shuttering off. “I’ve...been away.”
“Like on a trip?”
“Not exactly.”
Emma pauses. She honestly can’t tell what the other girl is thinking. “You...don’t seem to like answering questions.”
Noelle’s lips twist into a humorless smile. “I’m told it’s one of my best character traits.”
Emma’s heart pangs. That’s messed up. “I’m not sure who told you that. It’s...sad. It keeps people away.”
“Sometimes it’s better that way.” Her voice is flat, either matter-of-fact or defeated. Who’s to tell?
“Not always,” Emma shoots back, challenging.
Noelle studies her curiously, weighing her words. She runs her tongue over her lips, then clicks it against her teeth, coming to a decision. “Fine. So, hypothetically, let’s say I take you up on this offer. What are you gonna do? Draw me a map or something?”
Emma snorts. She’s dismal at drawing. “I’d give you a tour. The campus has changed a lot the last few years, and I know all the best new spots. Besides, I’m not letting you get away that easy.”
She means it as a joke, but - she means it as something else, too.
Noelle’s back straightens, and there’s a renewed interest in her gaze. She gives her an easy grin. “I like the sound of that. Alright, I’m in.”
Something in Emma’s chest swoops. She can’t help but beam. “Welcome to Eastridge High tour extraordinaire.”
She takes the other girl around the school, pointing out landmarks important and trivial. Noelle opens up, not by much, but enough that Emma gets a glimpse of who she is underneath all the stoic backtalk. Intuitive, dry humor in spades, and…
And maybe...very, very attractive.
Emma’s only ever really had a crush on Ava, so she’s not totally sure what her type is, but damn. Apparently badasses check a lot of her boxes.
They wind up at the greenhouse, bequeathed by wealthy alum’s generous donation. It’s dubbed the Garden of Truth, the legend going that questions asked near the fountain in the center must be answered truthfully, with a magical limit of one a day.
Noelle chuckles, like legitimately chuckles. “You have to be making that up. Right?”
Emma tuts, kneeling to dip her fingers in the fountain’s water. “One question only, so choose wisely.”
Noelle looks up at all the hanging plants, the vines climbing towards the ceiling. “You first.”
Are you into girls?
“Have you ever been in love?” Close enough, right?
Noelle stiffens. “No,” she says, sharply, then reconsiders. “Maybe. I had feelings for someone I- someone I shouldn’t have.”
No pronouns. No closer to an answer for that, then. There’s silence for a moment, Emma tracing patterns on the water’s surface.
“You looked upset when you showed up at the parking lot today. Why?”
Emma jumps, drenching her sleeve. She stands. “I wasn’t - ”
Noelle sends her a look. “We’re in the Garden of Truth, remember? Be honest.”
Emma takes a deep breath. It might be nice to tell someone, someone with no stake in the fight. “I found out the girl I like is dating my best friend.” She wraps her arms around herself, holding Noelle’s gaze. “N-no one knows that I’m… Don’t tell anyone.” Her voice actually quivers.
Noelle reaches out and puts a hand on Emma’s arm. “I won’t. I’m good at keeping secrets.” She takes her hand back, and Emma immediately misses its warmth. “This girl… Does she know how you feel?”
Emma’s vision clouds with tears. “No.”
Noelle tilts her head, eyes crinkling in sympathy. “Figures. It’s hard to imagine someone turning you down.”
It isn’t hard for Emma - that seems to be all she has been able to imagine. The way Ava’s mouth would hang open, the way she would back away, turn her down. How it would get out, first to the cheer squad and then to the whole school. There’d be whispers, cruel jokes, pity. Everything would change.
They walk back out. Emma spots a few cheerleaders lounging around a picknick table in the courtyard. They wave her over.
Noelle slows, shoving her hands in her light-wash jeans pockets. “Looks like that’s the end of the tour. Bye for now, Cheer Squad.” She walks off before Emma can reply.
“...Bye?”
Her steps felt lighter as she joined the group. Like Noelle had lifted the weight since the Ava-Mason bombshell went off this morning. A distraction, if only for a few minutes.
Ava’s watching her with a somewhat shell-shocked expression. “Emma, I can’t believe you were talking to Noelle Harris!”
To her right, Lauren looks delighted. She twirls a lock of black hair in her manicured fingers, eyes sharp. “Don’t you know who she is?”
Emma searches the team’s faces for a hint, but she can’t find one. “What, is she famous or something?” It’s meant to be sarcastic, but she’s so confused it comes of as genuine.
Toni clears a spot for her, patting the bench. “You’d better sit down. You need to hear the truth about her!”
Taking trepidatious steps, Emma has the sinking feeling she’s gotten herself further into a mess.
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Sapphistry
I’ve been promising some wlw content with Etien for a while so... here it is!
Etien had known for several years now that she would be pleased to extend her affections to more than simply men. Maybe not soon enough to have had any clarity on why she’d felt the way she did when A’beilnah had left the Twelveswood, but long enough that it didn’t come as a surprise to her when she took a stronger interest in the welfare of the Doman refugees.
Particularly their leader.
When she and Alphinaud had sat down for that long discussion about why a boat full of Domans had come to port in Vesper Bay, Etien had been cautiously curious about the woman sitting before them dressed all in purple and symbols Etien didn’t recognize.
The way that Yugiri kept her face obscured, but the hood of her coat gave suggestions of what lay below had further piqued Etien’s curiosity.
Of course, she had other things on her mind—both of them did, in fact—as they stood before the Syndicate so Yugiri could plead her case.
Still, the layers of clothing still worn close to the body, the long protrusions covered in cloth extending from her head, her stance, Etien studied it all with an eye half assessing and half appreciating.
Even as the Syndicate deliberated, Etien’s mind wandered to thoughts of being trusted enough that the Lady Yugiri might remove the mask and let her see who it was that they had been striving to assist.
Her soft manner of speaking was soothing to Etien, too, the way she made her case while keeping her tone level, her voice on the quiet side while still carrying to those who needed to hear it.
It was only as Etien was handing over a sackful of gil-- “to pay the healers, so the young ones could getthat care they need,” she’d explained—and Yugiri’s hands brushed hers as she took the coinpurse that it all properly clicked for her.
The warmth that spread across her back at the realization, like a too-hot coat in the springtime sun, made it all very clear.
She didn’t just admire Yugiri. She liked her.
Well, plenty of the other Scions liked Yugiri, and wanted to help.
No, this was different from that. Etien pushed herself to put the words together, in the din of her mind.
She wanted to trace with her eyes, and possibly her fingers, the curves of Yugiri’s face implied by the mask, to press a kiss to her forehead. Perhaps the lips that spoke so softly.
She wanted to peel away the almost-white gloves and hold, then kiss, Yugiri’s hands.
Etien had caught a glimpse or two of the glossy black hair in braids that hung down Yugiri’s back, and absently thought of running her fingers through it, of redoing those braids after a long day. Perhaps they could drink tea and do each other’s hair, and relax into domestic comfort, after all the fighting they had to do. For their lives, for their livelihoods.
Catching Roaille together, Etien suppressed a thrill at how they walked side by side, bringing up the rear. They were almost close enough to touch
_
When it had all burned down, and Etien feared that she was about to be hauled away for a murder she didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t have committed, it had been a relief that she had been welcomed by a friendly face in the Coerthan highlands. But it had been some other sort of feeling entirely when she’d met with the few of her comrades who had made it to Camp Dragonhead as well.
That is to say, she much preferred the butterflies in her stomach when she recognized the shade of purple to the sickly dread she’d been feeling since she ran from the banquet.
But there was a bit of a shock as she finally got a look at the lady behind the mask.
Yugiri’s hair was neat, two locks hanging down, bangs stopping just above her eyebrows, and drawing attention to her light green eyes. Oh, what a beautiful contrast to the deep purple she always wore!
Etien was aware she was staring, only able to shut her mouth and blush when Yugiri spoke, clarifying the situation as best she could with a “Hm? Ah, yes, my mask—it was lost in the struggle.”
Well, these weren’t the circumstances Etien had expected this first look behind the veil to take place under.
“Pretty, isn’t she?” Tataru asked.
“Very,” Etien replied, blinking a few times as if she had looked into a bright light.
Tataru continued the tale of how she and Yugiri escaped Ul’dah and Urianger had disguised the Waking Sands, but Etien was only half paying attention, tracing with her eyes the edge of every scale on Yugiri’s cheek.
As she left, saying that the rest of the Domans would keep up the search for the other Scions, Etien watched her go, a little sad as her eyes tracked the swish of Yugiri’s retreating tail.
There would be a next time they saw each other, Etien assured herself.
And next time, she would not stare.
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A guide to LGBTQ period dramas
I Love Period Dramas. If people are in period costume and there's some semblance of good writing I will watch it. Unfortunately that means I've seen plenty of terribly straight tv shows through to the end. So if you're in the mood for a more queer trip to the past, at least someone can benefit from my obsession, here’s my list of favorites.
Black Sails (1700s)
Black Sails is something of a prequel to the story of Treasure Island. It follows a handful of characters, historical and fictional, as they try to get rich and stay alive in the golden age of piracy. There’s betrayal, secrecy, sordid affairs, and bad ass speeches by terrible people you can’t help but love.
Black Sails is one of the gold star shows on this list. Not only does it feature four main queer characters but queer issues are also deeply woven into the fiber of Black Sails philosophy of freedom. The show starts out lighter on these themes, but later seasons clearly understand the “queer people flock together” rule, I won’t spoil who, since its actually quite a nice surprise if you don’t see it coming, and it adds new layers when rewatching the show.
4 seasons, Completed. Hulu
Harlots (1700s)
Harlots follows a hand full of women earning their livelihood in the oldest profession on the streets of London. Rival madams go to war while their girls must deal with the fallout. Dotted with colorful characters and some seriously corsetry.
Harlots is another gold star show that ages like fine wine, jumping from two and a half to six confirmed queer characters from season one to two. Harlots runs the gamut of wlw relationships, from passionate young love to unrequited pining to... “friends”. Harlots makes eye contact with those who say “Queer people didn’t exist back then!” and replies with a simple, “Fuck you”
Warning for sexual assault
2 seasons, ongoing. Hulu
Anne with an E (1900s)
Anne with an E (Anne in Canada) is the familiar story of a slightly odd orphan taken in by a pair of siblings on their family farm, learning about family and friendship as she was never able before. This new iteration of the story of Green Gables takes a more modern and mature approach, weaving discussions of growing up, trauma, bullying, racism and homophobia, into a joyful and imaginative celebration of life. Somehow these themes are balanced out and the serious never drowns out the childish glee.
Improving in the second season seems to be a theme with historical shows. The first season of Anne with an E features only one queer character in a side role, but season two took criticism for lack of poc and lgbt stories and integrates new characters in order to better encompass these things.
2 seasons, ongoing. Netflix
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1910s)
Based on a 1960s novel, Picnic at Hanging Rock is more surreal than anything else on this list. Three school girls and their teacher go missing on a picnic, throughout the search we are treated to a vaguely trippy analysis of the bonds society places on people. This show is an... interesting watch, but if you're into the philosophical and experimental it might be up your ally.
Picnic at Hanging Rock twists its queer themes with it feminist themes and these things are very much at the core of the story. Like Anne it also ties in new characters that didn't exist in the novel in order to modernize.
Warning for suicide and self harm
1 season, completed. Amazon
The Crown (1940s+)
The Crown follows the life and reign of Queen Elizabeth II, royal intrigue and drama abound. This one's a bit on the slow side for me, but the production value is huge and the production design is gorgeous.
The Crown falls low on my list, due to really only having one queer character so far, but it is all based on historical people, so I can't complain too much.
2 seasons, ongoing. Netflix
The Man In The High Castle (alternate 1960s)
The Man In The High Castle is based off a novel by Phillip K Dick. It takes place in an alternate world where the Axis powers won WW2 and America has been split up between Japan and Germany. Characters on both sides of the Rockies work against the horrifying regime and try to learn more about strange films depicting alternate histories to the ones they know.
TMITHC is another show that waited until later seasons to bring in queer characters which I think is unfortunate considering how well it aligns with the shows themes. But better late than never, a few secondary characters are given queer story lines and hopefully the last season will include more.
Warning for Nazi imagery obviously
3 seasons, one left. Amazon
Mindhunter (1970s)
Mindhunter is a pseudo historic re-imagining of the founding of the FBIs Behavioral Sciences Unit. The show follows the young FBI agent Holden Ford as he learns about (and from) various serial killers in the hopes that those insights might help catch others in the future.
Mindhunter features one queer main character and unfortunately doesn't focus much on their personal life, though I'm hopeful for future seasons.
1 season, ongoing. Netflix
Honorable Mention for The Handmaiden, though its not a show it is a incredible queer thriller set in 1930s Korea.
Other shows of interest I've been recommended that I haven't seen and so can't personally vouch for (yet)
Versailles (1600s), main queer couple
Call the Midwife (1950s), queer characters in later seasons
Penny Dreadful (1800s), main queer characters, but also a trans character played by a cis actor so :/
Shows I recommend avoiding for poor treatment of LGBT characters,
The Terror (queer villains, bury your gays), Frontier (queer villains, bury your gays), Ripper Street (bury your gays, trans character played by a cis actor)
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roma: beautiful movie about familial love in a period of extreme conflict, grants a vision of 1970 mexico’s internal family dynamics
blackkklansman: a story about empowering and fighting oppression and violence and how white supremacists are still a threat in america
the favourite: a story about power struggles, a grieving mentally ill wlw and the most important people in her life and how love can be painful but can help you survive and the lack of it can destroy you
vice: a story about how power is so terrifyingly corrupt and so easy to obtain if you know which strings to pull; a story about how a man destroyed so many livelihoods
black panther: a story about rising above, a story about how our perceptions make us who we are and we must rise above those perceptions to become better, a story about how united we are stronger
a star is born: a love story that speaks about fame and its price, about mental illnesses and struggles and abuse and addictions and how it isn’t always possible to recover
bohemian rhapsody: biopic about freddie mercury, bisexual immigrant lead singer of queen, probably one of the most influential bands of all time; a story about an unapologetic queer man being himself and being loved for it, despite his many failings
green book: racism, and get this, is bad
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can i ask a question? i’m a girl who’s been identifying as pan for a while now, but i’ve started to realize i haven’t met any girls or seen female celebrities that i’m attracted to. it makes me scared that the identity that makes me so happy is all fake. can you give me any advice, please?
i’m sorry things have been confusing lately - i get the feeling of kind of realizing you’re not straight but not being quite so certain because you don’t really feel attracted to actual women you know/have heard of.
i think the best thing is to first give yourself time to figure it all out. if you feel like actually getting to know any other wlw - then do so! apps + maybe lgbt clubs / meetings in your area? but if you don’t feel like actually doing so, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not attracted to girls at all - to me reading fiction + non-fiction + mostly consuming lots of wlw media has also helped a lot with coming to terms to my own identity + livelihood as a lesbian.
hope that helped! also when i said you could get to know other wlw - i didn’t mean it as just for dating. making friends can be so amazing + esp friends who get you! wishing you the best 💖
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I wanna grow wrinkly with you
1/24/2021
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as much as i understand where it’s coming from i hope the “wlw is only more common bc of fetishization” argument phases out esp when explicit wlw romance is increasing (because of how many wlw artists there are in the industry). like as a lebsian it doesn’t feel good to hear that the gay cartoon women were only allowed to kiss bc straight guys deigned for it to happen yknow? not like wlw artists have had to take frustratingly small steps with their livelihoods on the line for single gay girl kiss or anything
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also, I don’t agree with people who primarily make fictional works of a group’s experiences they don’t have experience with. Like, if you’re not wlw then 80% of your work should not be wlw stuff? If you’re not mlm then why are you making your livelihood off of the fandom shipping / fetishization of men like.
If you really are devoted to representation you better be going across the whole board.
I don’t agree with the idea that mlm fics are a place for straight women to express their sexuality due to misogyny with hetero ships. You know what I think you should do instead? Write those hetero ships better.
I’ve seen a post that literally posited that mlm work exists for straight women and wlw exists for straight men and like..... yo.... we’re not some random species you made up like elves or someshit (which i mean, probably has racist connotations anyway), stop using us like that.
Also: if you think that making fiction that focuses on men is the solution to a sexist industry and poor representations of women (be it hetero or the pitiful amount of lesbians/bisexual women we get), then I don’t know what to tell you. You’re only contributing to male superiority, with the add bonus of fetishizing gay people.
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