I want to scratch the back of her head while we drive somewhere. I want to sit on her lap and kiss her neck. hold onto her arm instead of holding hands sometimes. hold the door open for her. pull her closer by her waistband. slide my hand under her shirt and scratch her back while cuddling. kiss her hand when she's holding mine.
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having a crush as an adult is so embarrassing, like why am I kicking my feet and giggling instead of earning enough money to get the green sofa of my dreams
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you’re such an idiot. i will literally kiss you on the mouth.
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the intense sapphic urge to have a wife. to call someone my wife casually. to live with a wife. to be a wife to them too. for a wife to call me their wife. yes.
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Do all the cheesy romantic things, I promise I'll love it. Hug me from behind, kiss me in the rain, pull me into your arms when I'm least expecting it, dance with me under the stars. I'll love every moment of it. I long for the moments I've read about in books for years
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stronger gf who pins her girlfriend down a little too seductively when play fighting x sensitive gf who's easy to turn on
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i love how tumblr lesbians just want to cuddle and fall asleep with a girl
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there's a specific kind of grief and terror traumatized people feel when they're dating. you find someone who you really click with - until things get serious. maybe they witness you having a bad day, and they decide it's not worth it, pack up their things, and leave.
you navigate the dating scene with a low expectations. most people run at the first mention of "abuse" or "assault." sometimes you think about not being open about your trauma again, just so that you can get a better sense of your date so that when the time comes to tell them about it, you might still have a chance of salvaging it. but most neurotypical people don't want somebody with baggage.
then, you meet them. maybe they have baggage, too, but the way they treat you with such patience and respect, and accomodate you however you need — it's something you've never experienced before. you almost start to put them on a pedestal, but they remind you that you need to heighten your expectations, demand respect instead of hoping it'll come to you.
maybe you have memory issues. maybe you apologize a lot for no real reason. maybe you have severe panic attacks in response to triggers. but they're with you through it all, again and again — never raising their voice, never shaming you, never harming you, but always there to pick you up when you need their support.
this is the way you've needed to be loved. this is the way you DESERVE to be loved.
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