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hldlrsText
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there are two types of crying


one that sets you free

and the other that suffocates

one that relieves

and the other that chokes

the one that tastes sugar

the other tastes paint

one that builds you

and the other destroys


but one thing is for sure

you can’t run away from the pain

as it will run faster and grab you

it will encapsulate you

and leave you in pieces

so always choose to cry

write about your pain

and let it all out—crying speaks


you are only human, after all.


—hl.dlrs

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Reincarnated Love

Reincarnated love

If I had to be made over,

I would never go through the same

hard lessons I’ve endured with you.

You broke my heart so may times

Yet, I still loved you fiercely.


If I could be made over,

I will spend more time smiling at me,

Instead of allowing you to make me feel as

If I wasn’t enough.

I. Am. More. Than. Enough.


And If I could be made over,

I would have realized

that your love

was a cup filled with

bottomless conditions

It’s no wonder why I’ve been thirsty

All these years.


In my next lifetime—

If I could be made over,

I hope that I never run into

Another form of you.

For, you were never my soulmate

You were the one that set

my soul on fire!

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There are stories only you have to tell, because there is no one who looks at the world in the way you do. There is no one else who listens to the whispers tucked in a soft breeze or understands the wilting petals whimpering. There is no one who feels the earth in the way you do. You are the one.

Ekta Somera

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Relapse


Relapse

I can tell

I can tell

I can tell our love is fading

I’ve been here

I’m still here

dented walls

stone

cold places

my heart wants you

I really need you

but your heart is

in isolation

I tried to leave you

but relapsed

Red wine

gets me fucking wasted.

But—

There’s nothing more to say..

I’m still here

through

dented walls

and stone

cold places

But

I can

I can tell

I can

Tell

Our love is fading ..

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the blunt did burn
the world did turn
I watch and learn;
soliloquy away
I ain’t concerned–
I don’t listen to parrots

I pray
that my enemies
send me
negative energy
so I can convert it
to the 
strength of Hercules
and power
through my darkest hour

baggie full of
something sour;
ebony
in a ivory tower;
I’d rather die a king
then live a coward.

death to
the dutiful pills
we swallow;
along came
an orange spider–
who knows
what’ll follow?

majestic;
resisting arrested;
eclectic;
cops pop up
we side
to the slide
like electric;

show no weakness;
a throne is just chair–
life ain’t no crystal stair
equal
ain’t the same as fair.  

unprepared,
running scared,
running man,
when uncle Sam cooking
we in the fire–
out the pan;

out of luck,
On the cusp;
front of class,
back of bus–
no child left behind,
school to prison pipeline;
Anonymous and forgotten

they picked us:

not like
fruit at a grocery store
or
like a slave on trading block
but like cotton.

I,
the fly god,
misbegotten
an invasive thought in
a universe
so perverse;

contra guns
the way
the words disperse

you can hear
the ancient
African bones immersed
In every verse

my father taught me:
us men,
our sweat
are our tears–
we don’t cry with our eyes,
we cry with our whole bodies;

riding shotty
In something gaudy
call it potty
cause I’m the shit
or cause I smoke weed–
whichever fits

you can keep your
stones and sticks;
you can bring the blitz
I’ll get the pass off in the nick
Of time.

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Ekta Somera
There is a lifetime of stories trapped in an hourglass, instead of burying who you are beneath the sand, let a few grains slip through the cracks and allow flowers to grow. Others’ may live small lives, but not you. You are a rose bouquet in a snow globe, eloquent and unique.
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For All The Things I Do Not Have

by Lorelei

I long for all the places I have never been to. For all the rooms I have not walked into.

I long for smiles I鈥檓 yet to give, hands I鈥檓 yet to hold. I am cold and still I dream of a warmth that does not exist.

I long for seas to get buried under. I long for days when I won鈥檛 feel like I have to wait around for good things to happen.

I long for dances I have not danced, for songs that I have not sung, for hearts I have not loved. My own heart is pumping in my chest but I cannot bring myself to understand why it does that, so I long for hearts I have not loved.

I long dreadful misery. I long for sins I hide behind to forget about the virtues I do not have. I long for tasting the salt in my tears and feeling the honey in my laughter. I long for my own paradoxical existence.

I long for days that make sense to me. I long for nights when I find no regrets resting on my pillows.

I long for kisses that linger and moans that echo, for the lovers that leave and for the love that stays. I long for the understanding that eye contact can hold.

I long for digging my last grave and throwing away the shovel. I long for a way back to myself.

I long and I long and I long for all of which is not here. Being stuck in the past is a miserable way to live, but living in your own future can be a treacherous thing to do to yourself as well, can鈥檛 it?

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The Reason | K.A.M ( @inmyownwordz ) | All Right Reserved 2020 ©️
Your arrogance was incessant. The way you just expected me to adjust and remain constant. While you got to live and love fully. You took advantage of my loyalty. Knowing I would choose you. I had always chosen you, both romantically and platonically. I was down for you. I gave so much, but I regret it now honestly. The love we shared once upon a time may have been of quality. But it became clear my presence was only needed for comradery. As a blanket for any unseen mishaps that may leave you lonely. And it is okay, I do not expect an apology. I know why I gave up, and why I moved cautiously. I was devoting myself to someone sending more mixed signs than astrology.
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Life happens, people miss things that will happen again. the autumn leaves dipped in honey, paint the sunset in a mess of red, yellow and orange. Most of the time we miss it and this happens everyday, that’s how people miss people, they keep happening but never in the same way.

Ekta Somera

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all I know is build.

blurred–
I play tug of war
with crime’s
flicked allure
waiting for
all that shall be
to occur–

long live Assata Shakur;
with a soft heart
I speak hard words
to myself–

I surge
forward
If I go backwards
I melt–

I’ll never tell my son
“get the belt.”
they beat slaves–
and I am no one’s master
not even myself–

in the cut:
where water is
thicker than blood
1 goal
10 toes
who’ll be bigger than us?
in dollars we trust–
a little fear
is a must.

twenty four;
no bank account–
big dreams in small amounts;
still my dreads are a crown;
in class holding it down,
upper class holding us down
we need unfolding,
If that’s a thing

how’re you gonna be covetous
when you’ve got the bling?
I will never kiss the ring,
I will never kiss the ring–

there should be more.
hollow core;
roaches in the wall,
mattress on floor–
what’s in store?
give me more–
or I’ll take it.
I’m gonna make it.
I’ll cross the bridge
before it burns–
face it.

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