#wolfstar incorrect quotes
Lily: Lovers’ quarrel, huh?
Sirius: We are not fighting.
Remus: More importantly, we are not lovers.
Everyone at the Gryffindor table: You’re not?!
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Remus: If you could bring any weapon to a fight, what would you bring?
Sirius: A whip.
Remus: A whip isn’t practical.
Sirius: It’s multipurpose and easier to get then a gun.
Remus: So is a knife, only less kinky.
Sirius: Says who?
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Sirius: Why do you have to write down each and every word. It's so nerdy.
Remus: Writing things down in nerdy? What do you do then?
Sirius: I just forget stuff, like a cool person.
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Sirius: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Remus: What did you do?
Sirius: Nobody died.
Remus: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
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hc: remus and regulus were besties
Remus and Regulus: *studying in the common room*
Regulus: *falling asleep against Remus*
James and Sirius: HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM!
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Sirius: The Malfoy kid? The Malfoy kid!
Sirius: *Laughs hysterically*
Sirius: You’re DATING the Malfoy kid!
Sirius: Merlin, Lucius is going to hate this!
Harry: It’s not funny. His father hates me.
Sirius: This is almost funnier then when I told my family I married moony!
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Sirius: so um... we're dating
James: Oh we know
Remus: you know?
Peter: yeah you didn't really hide it
*flashback to a week before*
James: truth or dare?
Sirius: i dare you to kiss me on the lips
Remus: if you insist
Peter: he didn't even pick dare?!
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Harry: uncle moony, why do you love pads?
Remus: well harry
Remus: that is a great question
Remus, watching Sirius do smth very stupid across the room: which I cannot answer
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Sirius: Your like my closest friend and i’d fuck you if you asked.
James: *sitting on the floor stuffing crisps in his mouth* He said he’d fuck you if you asked
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—a book by Lily Evans, co-authored by Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes, introduction by Minerva McGonagall with excerpts from "Stop James" by Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, followed by a sequel "James yes" by Sirius Black.
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lily: ... what did i tell you about batting your eyelashes at me
sirius, sadly: it only works on remus
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Remus: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the lake in a large metal box.
Lily: Did Sirius say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
Remus, stretching his jumper up to cover his face: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
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Sirius: If the KID'S toys in Toy Story are alive, wouldn’t that mean that-
Remus: Don’t. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t.
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Marlene: Uh, James, what are these?
James: These, madam, are STDs.
Remus: What are talking about buddy?!
James: STDs. Save The Date's, for Lily and my wedding.
Sirius: So, just out of curiosity, how many people have you given STDs to?
James: Lots. Like a 100.
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James: You know those things will kill you, right?
Regulus, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.
Remus, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.
Sirius: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
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*at some point when they left school*
Sirius: I wanna do something illegal
Remus: Marry me
Sirius: *smiling like an idiot* what?
Remus: *smirking* you heard me.
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Sirius: Am I going too far?
Remus: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.
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Snowflake: *lands on Remus’ hand*
Remus: Oh, look how prettyyy.
Remus: Everything is garbage. Never love anything.
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Remus: Now Harry, what do we say when mummy and daddy think you did something bad
3 Year Old Harry: Blame it on uncle Padfoot
Harry: what if it doesn't work tho
Remus: they'll believe you
Remus: trust me, I've been doing it for years and they've never doubted me once
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Professor McGonagall : Please be seated. Witches, wizards and muggles alike, we are here today to celebrate the marriage of James Potter and Lily Evans . I've known you both for the last 7 years. And it has been a true pleasure to watch your distracting childish rivalry evolve into a distracting childish courtship and now into what I'm sure will be a distracting childish marriage. I'm proud of you. And I love you both.
James: Permission to say it back?
Professor McGonagall: Permission granted.
Lily: I love you too, miss.
James: Love you, Minnie.
(James and Minerva’s elite friendship)
(yes, another b99 reference - last one, promise)
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