sirius: remus, i love you to the moon-
Remus: …
sirius: sun-, i love you to the sun and back.
Sirius: the moon is stupid anyway
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James: Okay, you guys, there’s Reg. Watch. Just watch this
Regulus: *walking past*
James: See? Still pretending he’s not interested. Oh! He’s coming over. Just pretend like we don’t know him. We’ve forgotten who he is!
Regulus: Hey guys!
Remus: Hey Regulus!
Peter: Hello!
James: …
Sirius: Hey, Reggie. You know Prongs, my best friend? He’s nice. He’s not bad to look at, right?
James: Thanks, Pads
Regulus: Well, of course
Sirius: Do you want to go out on a date with him? You got my blessing!
James: Sirius!
Regulus: Sure. Is Sunday okay?
Sirius: Sunday’s perfect. He can’t wait
Regulus: On the date, I will be able to talk to him directly, right?
Sirius: Yeah
Regulus: All right, see you Sunday, Potter *leaves*
James: Okay. What the hell was that? You know what? Don’t answer me
James, giggling: I have a date with Reggie!
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The reason Regulus had to die was cause he would have definitely broken Sirius out of Azkaban no questions asked and then they would have murdered both voldemort and dumbledore
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Death Eater: Listen here, pretty boy-
Sirius: You think I’m pretty?
Death Eater: It’s an INSULT, idiot.
Sirius: You think being pretty is an insult? Oh honey, who hurt you?
…An hour later…
Death Eater, crying: And then my father threw out all my dolls-
Sirius, patting his arm: Let it out, let it out.
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regulus: what do you look for in a partner?
remus: someone who can challenge me intellectually
regulus: so how did you end up with someone who’s intellectually challenged?
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james: so,, moons did you get anything for valentines?
remus: yeah actually
james: what? who from?!
remus: a bunch of shit from some ‘S’ girl
james: wow i got a sweet letter from an ‘R’. wasn’t you was it moony?
(cuts to regulus and sirius struggling to understand muggle wrapping paper so their presents will look nice for their valentines but ending up tangled in tape and shreds of pink paper)
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Remus: Fuck the French.
James: Preach, amen to that.
Remus: Both physically and metaphorically.
James:.......Amen.
Remus: *slams his book shut* Regulus.
James: WHA-
Remus: HAH CALLED IT, pay up lil's.
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Sirius, arguing with Remus: and if you don't like that you can suck my dick *aggressively sips tea*
Remus, not even looking up from his book: oh well I would but small things are choking hazards
Sirius: *spits out tea*
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it’s so funny how fanart of remus and a black dog is wolfstar fanart, because imagine trying to explain that this man is gay for the dog to a victorian child.
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Remus: Hey, there’s something we need to tell you. Pads and I are dating
Peter: Yeah, we’ve known about it for the last few years, guys, you two are inseparable
Sirius: Years? We’ve only been dating for a few weeks
James: Weeks? Then what the hell were you doing before that?
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