#women are so much more attractive to me and I can see myself either in a relationship with just a woman or MAYBE a poly one with a girl and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shewrites444 · 9 months

Text

arranged [thomas shelby x reader smut]

[ i’ve never written about one of cillian murphy’s characters but oppenheimer has me feeling a bit inspired lately. i haven’t watched peaky blinders in ages, so apologizes if it’s not completely accurate to the storyline. ]

[update: arranged part 2 ]

word count - 2.1k

[ summary - the reader and tommy agree to an arranged marriage that suits both of their needs. despite their disliking of each other, the two seem quite fond of each other in the bedroom, especially on their wedding night. ]

[ warnings - enemies to lovers trope that includes unprotected sex, oral, roughness, etc ]

thomas shelby was the last man i ever imagined myself being wedded to, but when my father unexpectedly passed and i no longer had the protection of his people, i had to find another way to make sure i wouldn’t be a victim to any gangs of birmingham - including the peaky blinders.

of course, tommy would never have married me if there wasn’t something i could offer him in return - that happened to be a ton of inherited money from my father, and several breweries i now technically owned, and numerous meeting spots that only i knew about, that the coppers would never find him or his family at, during anytime of the day.

despite the convenience of our arrangement, there was nothing favorable for either of us past the business side of things. our families had been at each other’s throats for years and now that my father was gone, a lot of that tension was, but nevertheless, you can’t expect a peaky blinder to not hold a grudge, even on their wedding night.

“see, that wasn’t so bad.” i mutter to my newly wed husband, walking into the dimly lit bedroom as i took off my white heels, setting them aside the now shut door. i watch as tommy began to unbutton his white dress shirt, and i sigh to myself, but loud enough to quirk his brow.

i tuck my hair behind my ears, walking to the bed and pulling the sheets down to prepare for what would hopefully be a fairly long sleep, given that i’d prefer not think much about who i was now standing across from.

“you don’t have to stay in here tonight if you don’t want to or even at all, tommy. you already have children and i’m aware you don’t want more, and frankly, i don’t want any, so just lie and tell polly the marriage was consummated tomorrow morning. go on.” i gesture my hand up and towards the door, watching his blank expression as i spoke in a more demanding, harsh manner.

he walked towards the bed, untucking his side, his shirt now unbuttoned and his toned, pale body at my exposure, which only made my cheeks redden as the muscles flexed with his movements. i may have despised the man for his profession, but it’s not like he wasn’t physically attractive.

“i may not be so found of you, mrs. shelby, but i do keep my marriage duties, at least to sleep beside you.” he says plainly, sitting down on the white sheets before looking up to me with a teasing expression. it almost felt wrong to see him show any emotion besides, well, none. “now, do i have to make you turn around while i fuck you, or can you bare the sight of me while doing so?”

i roll my eyes with a smirk, laying down and hovering my face above his before biting my bottom lip, glancing at his own with a bit of temptation, but nothing i couldn’t ignore for the sake of my ego. “i’m shocked you even asked to touch me, mr. shelby. peaky blinders have always seemed so forward with what they want.”

he tilted his head, his well-groomed hair bouncing lightly at the movement, now reaching over to hold the back of my neck, running his fingertips through the ends of my hair. “would you prefer i not ask? you didn’t strike me as the type of woman who’d prefer to be fucked like an animal.”

“you didn’t strike me as the type of man to wait until we were wed to even discuss sex, so we’re both a bit surprised. have you been distracted with other women through our engagement, dear husband?”

he scoffed at my comment, sitting up and leaning himself down to peck at my neck lightly, his heated breath against my tingling skin, a pit forming in my stomach at the touch he never dared grant me until now.

“you never gave me any suggestion to fuck before tonight, [y/n]. i assumed you wouldn’t allow me to lay a finger on you. this all seemed like a business opportunity, a plan for protection and financies, nothing more.” he muttered through his kisses, trailing his lips down to my covered chest before looking up to me again. “so, how about i ask you like a gentlemen, mrs. shelby. is this for business, or not?”

i shrug softly, glancing down to meet his seductive, icy blue eyes. “i think i’ll be able to tell if it is or not when you fuck me, mr. shelby."

he reached over to pull me on top of him, grabbing the white gown that dressed me and helping me to slip it off my core and past my arms, tossing it to the floor, which exposed me in nothing but my underwear, my breasts falling out of the fabric and resting before him. he took one hand to hold my back, the other cupping one breast and his thumb flicking at the hardening nipple. i feel him push me down, his lips attaching to the bud as i let out a soft moan, shocked by how sensual thomas shelby could be if directed to do so.

i could feel the bulge in his pants growing, beginning to grind myself against the black pants while he fondled my breasts with his mouth and free hand, the other that was once on my back now guiding itself down to my ass. he pulled himself away from my breast, panting softly to himself as the tension began to increase between our moving bodies.

“take off your panties and lay down on your back, won't you.” he said to me in a more demanding tone. i stood up and did so, spreading my legs before him as he undressed himself at the side of the bed, soon leaning down in front of me.

i chew my bottom lip at the sight of the man before me, but gasp as his tongue links to my clit, swirling and flicking around the sensitive bud of skin, while i only grow wetter through his touch and the saliva that collected against my entrance. i reach down to hold his head of black hair, my other hand resting against my chest while he continued to give me nothing but pleasure.

“this… this doesn’t seem… like b-business to me…” i stutter my words, my back arching at every sensitive touch he brought to my body. my words made him pull away, a smirk on his wet lips as he stuck one finger inside of me, pumping and curling it slowly enough to draw a loud moan from my lips before pulling it out right after.

he leaned down and gestured for me to open my mouth, sticking his finger inside for me to taste my own juices before pulling it out and licking it himself.

“neither does this, how wet you are for me. are you sure you want to take back the consummation of our arrangement, hm? it seems you like my tongue, mrs. shelby. do you think i’ll like yours?” he grinned, standing up and pointing his full erection towards me, holding it in one hand as i sat up on the bed.

i blush, getting off of the bed and onto my knees before him. i take his length into one hand, pumping it slowly as i look up to him, our eyes locked when i lean forward and take his tip into mouth, a heavy sigh coming from his lips as i begin to suck him off. he was thick and much longer than any man i’d ever been with, and frankly, if we were to sleep together tonight, i was a bit nervous of how my body would take him and the aftermath of it all tomorrow morning.

“fuck, fill your throat with me, [y/n]..” he moaned, both hands holding the back of my head as he thrusted himself towards my face. i took his cock down my throat, my eyes closing almost immediately as a tear runs down my cheek from the unexpected penetration, moving my head back and forth as his balls slap against my wet chin.

he tilted his head, mouth hung open as he watched me take him down my throat. i could hear his breath cutting short each time he thrusted, his cock twitching inside my mouth as he edged himself through each stroke. when he could tell through my reddening expression and glossy eyes that i was a bit overstimulated, he slowly pulled himself out of my mouth, leaning down to help me back on my feet and onto the bed.

he kneeled down before me, grabbing my face with both hands and pressing a passionate kiss against my lips, his tongue pushing itself into my mouth, which distracted me from the way he was moving my body off the bed again. he wraps his arms around me and guides me across the room and to the dresser, where he then breaks the kiss and turns me around, bending my body against the wood to where i made eye contact with the mirror that connected the furniture.

"i think this is worth the watch, don't you?" he teases, a devilish smirk across his face as he takes my neck in one hand, the other trailing before my pussy, his index and middle fingers attaching to my clit as he pushes himself inside of me without warning.

i gasp, watching my mouth open as he begins to fuck me, hard, against the dresser. the stimulation above my insides didn't make this any easier to take, given the fact i could already feeling my climax building in a matter of seconds.

i rest both palms against the wood, watching tommy's lips trail to my shoulder as he kissed against my sweating skin, leaving fresh hickeys from time to time, marking me like i was more than just an arrangement to him. if anything, this showed me that thomas shelby may not favor me, but he sure wanted the world to know i was his wife, and no one else's.

"i could fuck you all day, [y/n]. nothing fucking... compares to... how good you feel, fuck.." he muttered between kisses, looking up to meet my eyes in the mirror, his hand moving from my neck to hold my left breast tightly, halting it from bouncing throughout his thrusts. "do you feel me as much as i feel you?"

i nod, mouth still hung open, unable to even speak a word as tommy pulled my body closer, his fingers digging into my clit and forcing me to arch my back down, my ass pressing against him and causing even harsher friction between our bodies while he quickened his pace at the touch, the sound of our skin slapping together overpowering the bedroom.

i suddenly feel his arm wrap around my waist, and then the other, holding me so close and his body leaned so far down my back was touching his core. he thrusted deeper, further than what i even thought was possible for him to go, and so much so to the point i was in immense pain, but god, it felt so fucking good. his cock overpowered my entire body, and i felt my orgasm rushing to the surface, fluids leaking out from inside of me past himself and dripping between my legs, his own orgasm filling my insides within a matter of seconds after.

i feel him slide out of me, catching his own breath and helping turn me around to face him. he takes my hand and places the other on my back, guiding me to the bed once more and laying me down, pulling the sheet on top of me to cover my stomach down, my breasts exposed to the cold air. i feel his lips against my chest, lightly kissing from my nipples, to my shoulders, to my neck, and to my lips, once more. he smiles softly, and genuinely, to me, before snapping out of his sappy mood to grab a cigarette from the nightstand, lighting it.

"do you think we'll be doing this again?" he asks quietly, handing me the cigarette. "doesn't seem like it would be a negative thing to add to our arrangement, eh?"

i smirk, blowing the smoke out from my lips and towards the ceiling. "i wouldn't be opposed, but if you fuck me that hard every time, i'm not sure i would be able to get out of bed the next morning."

he chuckled to himself, standing up and walking to the other side of the bed, sliding himself into the sheets and putting out the cigar. he took me into his arms, lighting running his hand across my hair. "we can see about that. goodnight, mrs. shelby."

i rest my head against his chest, closing my eyes and smiling to myself, partially hoping tommy wouldn't see my vunerability.

"goodnight, mr. shelby."

#smut writing #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby #peaky blinders x reader #x reader #thomas shelby peaky blinders #x yn #smut #fanfic #fanfiction #fic writing #thomas shelby x reader smut #tommy shelby x you #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders smut

4K notes · View notes

yyunari · 6 months

Text

HEESEUNG 02. ⏱﹕ꕤ﹔ OFF THE RECORD NIGHT !

lee heeseung couldn’t stand hearing jake talk about his crush on y/n l/n any longer. but after he finds himself entangled with the girl in a late night conversation, perhaps his mindset shifts.

⌇＃GENRE ◠﹒fluff + (american) college au ＃PAIRING ◠﹒lee heeseung x fem! reader ＃WARNINGS ◠﹒heeseung is kind of mean and a bitch LMFAO also poor jake

if lee heeseung were to hear the name y/n l/n one more time that day, he would officially lose his shit.

it started when jake invited heeseung over to his dorm. hanging out with jake was supposed to help him relax before their midterms but as expected, the conversation had turned over to the topic of girls.

heeseung admitted to not being romantically interested in anyone. of course he found girls at their university attractive, but there wasn’t quite anyone he would see himself dating. the hot girls either had boyfriends or weren’t interested in him.

on the other hand, jake claimed that there was one girl in his major he found really pretty. he sugar coated it by saying he just admired the way she looked in a few of their classes together. that was, until jake’s roommate exposed him.

“jake has a crush on her!” sunghoon, who was jake’s roommate, stated while passing by the two in the common area.

heeseung whipped his head around at jake, who held a sheepish expression and sunghoon’s words.

for someone to get jake so flustered… heeseung wanted to know who it was.

“who’s the girl?” heeseung inquired, accompanied by a little giggle. he felt silly acting in such a way as if it was a schoolgirl crush, but even heeseung could admit that there was nothing more heart fluttering than the topic of love.

jake was hesitant to answer, but eventually he let it out.

“it’s y/n l/n, the girl who lives next door.”

at the reveal, heeseung raised an eyebrow. y/n l/n?

he was familiar with her because he also had a fair amount of classes with her. she was relatively smart and when no one had an answer to a question, she would be the one to raise her hand. she also seemed to have a kind personality and was constantly seen talking to new people each day.

and heeseung wasn’t a liar, he could even admit she was a pretty attractive girl.

but for jake to have a crush on her? she didn’t really seem to stand out all that much.

it got worse when the topic of y/n couldn’t seem to leave jake’s mouth for the rest of the night. anything they spoke about, jake would somehow tie it back to y/n.

“do you want to play genshin?” heeseung had asked at one point, hoping to move on from the girl that jake was so irrevocably in love with.

but much to his dismay, a lovesick smile overtook jake’s face as he sighed. “did you know y/n is an kazuha main? isn’t that so cute?”

no, heeseung couldn’t understand what about the girl made jake act in such a way. what was all the hype about? he would’ve understood if it was someone like park sieun or kim jiwon, both of whom were known amongst the physics majors for being extremely pretty, kind, and talented. but y/n l/n? the girl who failed to make it onto the school’s dance team? the girl who was never seen around campus and only had a presence in her classes? what was so special about her that had jake hooked?

as the night progressed and jake only spoke about her more, heeseung became sure of one thing.

jake had a horrible type in women.

after an extensive night of y/n, playing video games, binging ghibli films, more y/n, cooking food, and even more y/n, heeseung found himself ready to go back to his own dorm. after all, he did have a midterm at 9 am the next day and he didn’t want to be out too late.

“are you sure you don’t want me to walk you back to your dorm? you’re all the way on the other side of campus.” jake was correct, the walk was about 30 minutes and the idea of it made heeseung want to cry.

however, heeseung shook his head. “nah it’s alright, i can go by myself. i gotta go to the convenience store anyways and you should be trying to sleep early since your midterm is at 8 am.”

jake raised an eyebrow. “what do you need from the convenience store? i might have it here.”

“a red bull.” heeseung stated. “i don’t think i can survive all my classes plus my midterms tomorrow without one, and i definitley won’t wake up early enough to buy it in the morning.”

jake snorted. “oh yeah, you’re on your own then. i don’t believe in energy drinks and neither does sunghoon.”

heeseung just chuckled and waved at jake before heading out, mentally preparing for long, treacherous walk. a 30 minute walk wasn’t that bad in theory, but walking in the dark with a bunch of alpha delta kappa apple phi sigma ligma balls frat guys walking around making moaning noises wasn’t something heeseung was looking forward to. so he took a deep breath and made his way to the campus convenience store.

after about 15 minutes, heeseung notice the familiar sight of the store. he sighed in relief at being able to take a break from walking, and went inside.

he immediately beelined for the drink fridge, where he was able to find his beloved red bull.

10.99 for a red bull?? college is a scam. heeseung thought before proceeding to the counter to pay for his drink.

he was getting scammed, but at least he was self aware.

once the drink was paid for and in his hands, heeseung briskly walked out of the store to make it to his dorm before the frat guys could get to him. one of the asian frats in particular had been trying to get him to join for a while, and he declined each time. although, he almost joined at one point before he heard that the president was choi yeonjun and he had a bone to pick with that guy after he beat him in a singing contest.

when heeseung stepped out of the store, he noticed someone crouching down in the alley that he hadn’t seen when he walked in. he was about to leave, until he got closer and realized who it was.

y/n l/n.

was she trying to torment him on purpose? seeing her after jake blabbed his ear off about her all night was absolutely comedic.

but one thing rubbed heeseung the wrong way. what was she doing in the dark alleyway? suspicious thoughts filled his brain as he attempted to get closer to see if she was doing something weird.

though he fully expected to see the girl crouched over lines of cocaine, he was taken aback when he noticed that she was crying.

oh fuck, what do i do?! i don’t have the facilities for this…

it was then that he remembered he wanted to see what jake saw in her, so he mustered up whatever courage he had before walking up to her.

“you shouldn’t be in a dark alleyway like this, someone is going to think you’re doing drugs.”

y/n looked up at heeseung with tears in her eyes, but chuckled at his joke.

heeseung was surprised to feel his heart race a little at her laugh.

“sorry, can you not tell my ra? im trying not to get another offense.” y/n joked back despite the apparent sadness on her face.

although he wanted to go back to his dorm and relax, he couldn’t help that he wanted to see what jake saw in y/n. the opportunity was too good to pass up.

so he sat down next to her, to which y/n didn’t deny. as soon as he was on the ground, his stomach had growled.

fuck… he thought. despite eating at jake’s house, the walking made him hungry once more and he really didn’t want to buy more food.

much to his surprise, y/n reached into her bag and pulled out two onigiris. she held one out to heeseung. “want one?”

heeseung smiled at this. he thought the act of sharing her food was kind, especially since she barely knew him. he gratefully accepted the onigiri and the two began eating in silence for a moment.

that was, until heeseung started talking. “want to tell me why you were crying?”

y/n purses her lips before responding. “i don’t know, will you tell anyone about it?”

heeseung shook his head. “my mouth is shut, i promise.”

another laugh left y/n’s lips, which heeseung couldn’t tell whether it was a genuine laugh or just a side effect of all the tears she had released. “i’m just not have the best start to the semester. for one, i’ve been having a hard time adjusting from being so far away from my family. and i don’t really have a lot of friends here so i feel especially lonely.” she started.

during the pause, heeseung brought up a question. “i thought you had a lot of friends? i see you talking to people often.”

y/n shook her head. “i talk to a lot of people, but i don’t really consider myself friends with all of them. i only talk to them in my classes and i never go out. i literally just rot in my dorm all day.”

heeseung made a noise of acknowledgement, before signaling her to start again.

“i also got rejected from the dance team which was heartbreaking, because i had been dancing for 15 years of my life and to find out i wasn’t good enough to make the team really discouraged me. my roommate always invites guys over without my permission and isn’t willing to listen to me when i tell her i’m not comfortable with a guy literally sleeping in our shared room. like hello?? our beds are two feet away from each other. i’m not going to sleep in the same room as her fucking boy toy. plus, always yells on the phone when i’m trying to sleep.” y/n took a breath before continuing. “sorry, that one gets me really heated.”

heeseung laughed. “i get it though, i have a lot of classes with juhyun and she’s really rude.”

“right?! thank god i’m not the only person who thinks that. for some reason, everyone seems to adore her.” y/n rolled her eyes at the thought. “anyways, i guess the breaking point for me was when my uncle passed away. that was kind of what set me off because i was really close to him and i always considered him my second dad since he sort of looked after me whenever my parents were too busy with work.”

“i’m sorry for your loss.” heeseung frowned. “i know it can be hard to cope with these things especially since you’re far away from your family.”

y/n nodded at his assertion. it was as if he read her mind. “yeah, i think at this point i’ve cried enough about it that i’m just kind of in shock.”

the two sat there for a moment in silence, basking in the calming atmosphere. for some reason, heeseung didn’t find it awkward to be around y/n. he figured it was because she was such an easy person to get along with that he could find himself so calmed by being around her.

if he just ignored the heat filling up his cheeks then perhaps that was the reason.

“so, what about you?” y/n spoke up after about a minute. “is there anything on your mind?”

heeseung was surprised that she asked. he hadn’t expected her to think about him, but nonetheless he answered. “not exactly, i guess i’m just stressed about midterms but isn’t everyone?”

y/n groaned. “oh shit, i forgot… the math midterm is tomorrow.” she begrudgingly took her phone out of her pocket and pulled up a google document of her study guide. “i guess i should start reviewing, but i don’t get any of this finance shit. i mean, i’m a physics major. why do i need to know money?!”

when y/n noticed heeseung’s teasing smile, she pointed an accusing finger at him. “why are you laughing at me, are you good at finance?”

heeseung just shrugged. “i dabble.” he left out the fact that he was the secretary for the anime club. after all, it didn’t feel relevant because truthfully he didn’t have many finances to deal with. and he didn’t want y/n to know he was involved in the anime club of all things. “do you need help? i can go over your study guide with you.”

shaking her head, y/n shut off her phone. “nah, i think i’ll be fine. i’m pretty good at remembering things from class so i think i can pull stuff from my ass.”

“oh right, i forgot you’re an academic weapon.” heeseung teased. “yet somehow you’re not understanding finance.”

“it’s not my fault the universe is against me this semester!”

heeseung recalled what she had told him previously about her troubles. “touché.”

there was a moment of silence, in which heeseung opted to check the time on his phone. it was nearing midnight, and he was nowhere near his dorm.

he pondered the idea of ending the conversation there and trying to get a good nights rest before the midterm. however as he looked back up at y/n and her unreadable expression, there was something within him that told him to stay. perhaps it was the unusual rhythm of his heart that he wanted to explore a bit more, or maybe even the way his eyes always trailed towards her. whatever it was, he decided to listen to his body and stay.

"hey heeseung, what's your favorite movie?" y/n inquired out of the blue, interrupting heeseung’s inner thoughts. “i’m just wondering. i feel like people’s favorite movies say a lot about them and i want to get to know you more.”

that made his eyes widen ever so slightly. the idea that his curiousity for the other was reciprocated was heartwarming in a way.

"why the sudden question?" heeseung teased once more. seeing her roll her eyes, he quickly corrected himself. "i'm teasing, it's whisper of the heart.”

y/n abruptly gasped. "you like studio ghibli too?"

heeseung’s heart fluttered with eagerness once he heard that she enjoyed watching ghibli films, as one of his guilty pleasures was that he took comfort in those movies, seeing as they took up a considerable part of her childhood. for a guy with his reputation, it would seem unlikely. so he kept his love hidden, with his older sister being the only one aware. she had a similar relationship to the films, having introduced them to heeseung in the first place. the latter ever so faintly smiled at the memory of him and his sister at their last studio ghibli movie binge.

"yeah, i love it!"

y/n scooted close to him, glad to have started that conversation. giggles erupted from her chest, her inner child peaking through which heeseung found extremely cute. “which are your favorites?"

heeseung thought for a few seconds. "well besides whisper of the heart, ponyo and kiki's delivery service"

"dude, ponyo is fucking amazing" y/n wistfully sighed, leaning back a bit with a nostalgia filled expression. "those movies are basically my childhood"

"s-same here" heeseung spoke, stuttering out of shock.

y/n abruptly sat up, reaching down to grab her phone. heeseung could roughly make out her phone case, which had the design of the twin stars from sanrio. it made him curious of whether or not she liked sanrio, and what other things she was interested in.

"i saw this really cool fanart of san from princess mononoke. it looks really realistic— almost painfully realistic! here, i think you would like it"

and she did, her phone displayed a captivating composition she found on instagram, a rather enthralling redraw of one of the scenes in princess mononoke. it was one that heeseung had trouble keeping his eyes off of, gaping at it with a slightly open mouth and wide eyes. his expression conveyed how amazed he truly was.

"it's... wonderful" he sighed out, a dreamy essence overtaking his aura. "it almost looks like official art.”

y/n cheekily grinned, letting her phone fall on her lap. "right?? it's so good"

the two became peaceful for a bit as the conversation died down and opted to listen to the ambiance of the night. both were becoming increasingly aware of just how truly late it was, but neither really minded that fact.

something undeniable were the small glances they kept making to each other, both wanting to start up the conversation again but were just a little too flustered to do so.

although they hadn’t ever spoken before that point, heeseung found it easy to be comfortable around y/n. words seemed to just spill out around her, and he couldn’t quite control it. he figured y/n felt the same judging by how she opened up so quickly to him.

until his previous conversation had registered within him, and he nearly doubled over in repulsion. heeseung had caught himself enjoying their short yet stirring exchange, more so than he had anticipated. not that he expected much at all, because it had started from the fact that heeseung wanted to see what jake saw in y/n.

unwillingly, he found himself understanding things from jakes perspective. he would have preferred if he didn't like the conversation but rather despised it and despised her.

the fact that heeseung had a conversation with her and thoroughly enjoyed it was nothing less than worrisome, and he couldn't help but wonder if he had anything wrong with him that day.

despite that discovery, one thing still wandered on heeseung’s mind.

what exactly made y/n l/n so special?

yes, he found her easy to get along with. and he did enjoy her company. and yes, something about her made his heart flutter a bit.

but he still couldn’t pin point what made jake so infatuated.

as heeseung examined y/n to see figure it out, the girl started giggling which confused heeseung. what was she laughing about?

“sorry i don’t mean to laugh but,” y/n put her hand to her mouth to control her giggles. “you just look so cute right now with your expression.”

heeseung stopped at this. was she flirting with him? he couldn’t deny anymore that she was constantly making him flustered.

“so, you think im cute?” heeseung asked with a wide smile on his face. “you’re not too bad looking yourself, y/n.”

not too bad looking was an understatement. under the moonlight and beneath the stars, y/n seemed to be the most ethereal being heeseung had ever laid eyes on. he felt all his previous assumptions about y/n disappearing in that one moment.

at heeseung’s compliment, y/n just shyly smiled. one thought crossed his mind.

is her heart racing like mine right now?

he hoped he wasn’t alone in the feeling.

after a slight moment where y/n looked as though she were contemplating something, she spoke once again. “there is… another reason i laughed.” y/n whispered out.

before he could ask for the reason, y/n slowly leaned closer to heeseung. they were already at a close proximity by sitting next to each other, but her closing that small distance made his eyes widen and lips part.

for a second, heeseung considered kissing her. but wouldn’t that be wrong? kissing his close friend’s crush? heeseung couldn’t do that to jake, even if deep down, he wanted to.

but before he could even try to complete the kiss, he heard her whisper.

“may i?”

the thought of jake completely left heeseung’s mind in that moment as he nodded.

heeseung could only feel the beating of his heart and y/n’s warm breath on his face. he could only perceive her presence, as the world seemed to fade into nothingness. each second bridged the gap between them being strangers and them becoming involved with one another. whatever would follow, heeseung was nervous for.

but as y/n inched closer and closer to his face, he felt her soft lips make contact with the side of his own. they lightly brushed on the corners of his mouth, making a small notice that they were even there to begin with.

“you had a piece of rice on your face.”

as realization and embarrassment filled heeseung’s entire being, y/n burst out into a fit of giggles.

“oh, you’re so evil for that.” heeseung rolled his eyes. at that, y/n just shrugged.

“i’m just trying to keep you on your toes.”

as the night progressed and their late night conversation continued, heeseung hoped it would stay off the record and jake wouldn’t find out. he felt guilty for basically kissing his friend’s crush. but anothe side of him was glad that it happened, because it made him realize something.

the problem was never what was special about y/n, it was what was wrong with heeseung’s mindset. he realized that liking someone never needed any justification, that the person never had to be perfect for the person’s crush on them to make sense. it didn’t even need to make sense in the first place.

there never really seemed to be anything special about y/n, yet in jake’s eyes she was the most admirable person.

he realized that jake liked y/n because he found all aspects of her beautiful.

and perhaps heeseung was starting to as well.

authors note. i wrote this impulsively on the plane bc i got bored 👹 i think my best ideas come when i’m on planes bc this is the second time i’ve cooked smt up in a plane. also lmk if i should do a part two that’s like heeseung x y/n x jake 🤓☝️

permanent taglist. @muhwaa @hoori @yizhoutv @ja4hyvn @carayat @one16core @enhacolor @haerinz @soobin-chois @en-boyz @ohmy-fandoms @yjwonz @yunki4evr @strwberrydinosaur @duolingofanaccount @iichaeyj @eundiarys @ineedaherosavemeenow @chaerybae @bubblytaetae @w3bqrl @xiaoderrrr @jaeyunnsworld @rikizm @teddywonss @gweoriz @dimplewonie @seulrio @enhacatalog (if u requested to be on my permanent taglist and u didn’t get tagged it’s bc i cant see ur acc, but pls dm me if u want to be in it !)

#enhypen x reader #lee heeseung x reader #enhypen heeseung x reader #heeseung x you #heeseung fanfiction #enhypen heeseung #lee heeseung fanfic #lee heeseung oneshot #lee heeseung x y/n #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x you #lee heeseung #lee heesung x reader #enhypen oneshots #enhypen imagines #heeseung fluff #heeseung fanfic #heeseung #enhypen fluff

282 notes · View notes

orkbutch · 4 months

Note

i am a butch now but i don’t know whether that’s true or not anymore. i want to take T, but at what point am i actually just a trans man? have you question that line in the sand at all yet?

Oh boy.

I can only talk from my perspective on this, others may differ, and thats because "whats the difference between a butch on T and a trans man" is such a new sociological concept that its basically in the very beginnings of its infancy. its SO new, and neither Butch nor Trans Man nor Trans Masc have secure, well established roots as social identities or concepts. It may seem like they do and it may seem like there are rules or lines that are firm, but when you step back, zoom out, and consider them in the context of broader society (and especially compared to the idea of a Man and Woman), they do not. These are social contructs that are actually very early in their construction, and we are doing the constructing like, right now, within this ask.

That said, I can tell you why I don't identify as a trans man fairly easily: I don't care about men or the idea of a man. "Man" as a static concept is like... I don't know what that is. Its almost alien to me.

Now, to ramble that point out:

I have considered if I'm a man throughout my life. The closest I've been to identifying as a man was when I was in a period in my life when I considered that there was at least an aspect of me that was drawn to Manhood. Also, as I came to be read as a man in my public life, i supposed that in social situations when I was being treated as a man and I didn't correct people because I didn't care to, and I even enjoyed it somewhat and leaned into that role, I was essentially Being a Man (socially). So Man came to be a role I found myself in occasionally, and Manhood came to be a vaguely defined something that was intriguing to me.

But these moments of Man Feeling ended up being more like exceptions that proved the rule. Anyone can feel a bit like a man in the right circumstance, because gender isn't static; its something we can and often do play with, and phase through. I feel like music puts me in some heavily gendered spaces, like Everyone has a part of them thats a woman when they're belting along to "I'm Every Woman", yknow. Anyway.

I didn't feel like a man that much. I didn't feel like a woman that much either. I felt like a butch more frequently, because when I do things that indulged my masculinity, when I'm consumed by my love and attraction to femininity, when I think about the queers that I admire most, I felt butch, and was drawn to butches and interesting queer women. Leslie Feinberg, Frida Kahlo, Nancy Grossman, Patricia Highsmith, leather dykes and femme pro-doms, transgender queens... I've just never been that drawn to the experience of being a man. I've never been interested in men, frankly. Every man I've admired has been very much despite being men. Sufjan Stevens, Clive Barker, David Lynch, David Cronenberg, John Waters... great and usually queer artists whose gender is irrelevant because I like their work. The only man in that list who I have some personal affection for is Sufjan Stevens. He is an angel.

If I'm going to be a gender, its going to be the gender I admire. That I aspire to. I don't aspire to any man. Perhaps I aspire to a kind of body or a kind of masculinity, and sometimes men do that, but thats just a lack of other non-man representations of the thing I like. When I see in butches, it feels like a depiction of Me. Also WOW do I So Not feel like a man when I'm with my lovers. Sometimes I feel a bit like a man when I'm in a certain headspace while domming or if I'm having the rare T4T(masc) dalliance, but I feel very dyky when I'm with femmes. I just don't FEEL manhood. And I don't really care for man. Edit: I will say, there is a kind of Queer Man Masculinity that I definitely admire and aspire to, like that depicted by Tom of Finland or various other usually kinky gay art. But again, I don't see the Man part as important - its the masculinity. Btw, imo, there is no line in the sand as far as transition stuff. I'm very dysphoric about my body and that's never been about how I'm seen by others; it's my comfort in my own skin, and doesn't change my indifference to men or manhood. and that is my butch vs trans man ramble

#ask #trans things

116 notes · View notes

aingeal98 · 3 months

Note

Do you think cass is aware of why she likes when her body language sense detect girls checking her but not guys. I think it would be very funny for her to be a pussy magnet and like it but just think this is a normal experience for girls cause she has no social context

Cass when Kon was checking her out: Oh I hate this. I'm going to be sick. New emotion discovered and I want it gone

Cass when Steph is staring at her red faced after Cass pins her down in rooftop tag: Haha look at how much she's admiring me. It feels good! So glad I'm able to just accept this instead of hating myself.

Cass when Steph kisses her a few weeks later: Ohhhh this all makes a lot more sense now.

In all seriousness I'm constantly thinking about the cruise trip issues of batgirl. And especially this panel

As well as sexualisation I think a lot of it comes down to control. Cass has no control over how Kon views her, she can only read how he objectifies her and hate what she sees. There's nothing she can do to change it short of knocking him unconscious. Compare that to her interactions with women like Steph, Brenda etc where the bonds she forms with them are something she wants and is proud of. I do think she'd be surprised if she ever realises they're attracted to her and even more surprised that she doesn't hate it like before. The context is so different but it's all new territory for her.

I like to think when Cass figures out she likes girls she still doesn't know what to expect when Harper takes her to a gay club. But either because she gets to pick her own outfit, because it's girls staring at her, because she might want to kiss them back as more than friends, or a combination of all of this, but she actually finds herself enjoying it a lot more than she expected. She goes home with ten phone numbers and a date like "That was fun :D" and Harper is just staring in awe because she's never seen one woman be quite as popular as Cass was that night.

#dc #cassandra cain #dc rambles #I feel like I could write an entire essay on Cass's relationship with lesbianism and feminism but I'm not sure if I'll ever have the spoons #Asks

69 notes · View notes

gatheringbones · 1 year

Text

[“Pop culture tells us that a real woman knows how to use her body to get what she wants, wielding the power of attraction, seducing with her animal magnetism. But I ask, how much power is there in being a carrot on a stick that is dangled in front of someone? And I can’t help but notice that when men try to flatter us, they often use words like “enchanting” and “mysterious.” But to me, those words seem like a subconscious attempt by them to place some distance between us.

So it bothers me when I hear women buy into a similar mysticism, as they try to empower us by proclaiming that we are magical, that we are mother earth with the ability to give birth, bearing life cycles that follow the moon like the tides of the ocean. But don’t they see the danger in buying into the idea that we are supernatural beings? For if we call ourselves “goddesses,” then there is no need for anyone to treat us like human beings.

I believe that this is where second-wave feminism came to a grinding halt: When we got caught up in the myth that women are special because of our biology. Because when we take pride in how fundamentally different we are from men, we unknowingly engage in a dangerous game of opposites. For if men are big, then women must be small. And if men are strong, then women must be soft. And it becomes impossible to write a loud and proud poem about what it means to be a woman without either ridiculing men or else pulling the rug out from under ourselves. And being a woman is contradiction enough without being both a transsexual and a dyke like myself.

I often feel like the monkey in the middle: On one side of me are older lesbians who insist that I am still a man, as if being born male was some awful disease that has infected my blood and my bones permanently. On the other side of me are younger dykes who are infatuated with trans men and tranny bois, yet secretly confess to friends that they are disturbed by trans women because we act so “effeminate.” I wonder how they can be so oblivious to their own arrogance, for anyone who admires trans men but dismisses trans women is simply practicing another form of sexism. I used to think it was a contradiction that some dykes abhorred me for my masculinity while others hated me for my femininity, until I realized that being a woman means that everyone has a stake in seeing what they want to see in me.”]

julia serano, from excluded: making feminist and queer movements more inclusive, 2013

#julia serano #bi literature #trans literature #gender stuff #currently reading

815 notes · View notes

loveyourownsmiilee · 11 months

Text

Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.17

Well friends, we’re almost done with season sex, I mean six! It’s honestly been such a rollercoaster journey, one in which we’ve had great moments and some not so great ones. I’m really looking forward to the finale episode and seeing how they’re going to tie everyone’s storylines for this season and how they’re going to set up their upcoming arcs for season 7. There was a lot of foreshadowing and parallels in this episode that I believe will play a pivotal role for Buddie’s eventual romantic pairing. So I’m just going to get into this week’s meta!

Proposal Gone Wrong

The proposal gone wrong was kind of sad in my opinion. I mean you don’t necessarily need to do something drastic to assure your significant other will respond positively. It kind of creates this notion in which the other person feels forced to say yes because you did that grand gesture, which is exactly what happened here. The guy proposed to his girlfriend of 2 years by jumping off a building, got stuck in a freak accident and she said yes because she felt like she had to. The little moment she had with Eddie and Chim is what I want to focus on a bit here.

E: So what do you wanna do?

M: I guess I’ll wait a few months and then break it off.

Now the reason I bring this up is because doesn’t this remind you of something else? Didn’t Eddie also date Ana for months and thought he should keep going only because his kid loved her? He waited and then broke it off when he knew it wasn’t right for him. Now this can also possibly foreshadow his next relationship if he decides to actually give Marisol a chance. I mean I’ll go more into that later on. But I think if he does date her, possibly out of fear of being alone, it can easily be assumed that he’ll wait a few months before he breaks it off because deep inside he knows she’s not the one for him. I just feel like this line not only wanted us to remember Eddie’s been there but that it’s possible he’ll be in a position like this again.

Buck and Eddie Acting Like Idiots

The scene at the station was so funny and I love how we once again got to see how in tune Buck and Eddie are with each other. Not only were they both wearing the blue and green once again, but they were finishing each other’s thoughts once more, thus reminding everyone how in sync they always are.

E: I gotta figure out how to say no to another date my Tia set me up with.

B: Just download a dating app.

E: I did but I can’t bring myself to open it.

Hmm well this reminds me of someone else. Didn’t Bobby make a whole firefighters dating profile back in season 1? And he didn’t even end up using it. So that can parallel the fact that Eddie also downloaded a dating app but still has yet to actually use it. This was only the beginning of Eddie’s storyline heavily mirroring Bobby’s from season 1 and I’ll go more into it in a bit!

We also have Buck and Eddie finishing each other’s sentences like they’re this old married couple. They’re always on the same wavelength and it drives me crazy because with each episode we are reminded how perfect they are for each other.

E: Get the insurance money.

B: Buy a new ring and propose.

Eddie’s Attempts At Finding a Date

I really can’t help myself but laugh at how much gayer Eddie gets with and every episode. The entire little failed dating, well no I should say attempts at finding dates, was so sad. How can a man who looks that good with that dump truck fail at attracting women?? Well his little gay outfits didn’t help either. When have we ever seen that man in anything other than a Henley? I didn’t even know Eddie was capable of having such tight clothes like that lol.

The thing that makes me laugh is that he’s trying to find a person to date at places he wouldn’t normally be. Golfing? I do not believe for one second Eddie would play golf nor would he the kind of guy who’d find enjoyment in doing it with a partner. So the fact that we got to see him “put himself out there” but not really make any actual attempts really just highlights that he’s open to finding love but is kind of going about it the wrong ways. And he’s still lying to his son about it considering he told Chris he was running errands lol.

Buck and Natalia Give It Another Shot

I find it very interesting that Buck took Natalia to a bar of all places on a date. The only times we’ve seen him in a bar setting in relation to other love interests were when he hooked up with Taylor in s2 and when he kissed Lucy in s5. So to bring Natalia on a date here really makes me question what his reasoning behind that idea was.

B: This seemed as good as a place as any for you to get to know the real Evan Buckley.

L: Really? I have a few stories.

Lucy interrupting his date and then proceeding to tell Natalia all about her history with Buck in so many words was a literal sign from the universe. Not only did we get Natalia already judging Buck for his past but also questioning him when he was being honest and genuine about his past whatever with Lucy.

B: Uh hey, what do you think the tip is?

N: They gave you 3 options right down here. You alright?

B: Yeah no I don’t know why I couldn’t figure it out.

N: You’re flustered.

B: It was nothing I promise.

I think the fact that Buck just can’t do math all of a sudden to be such a bold choice of the writers. His entire math superpowers were connected to Eddie and Christopher. He realized he was the guy with the answers while looking at his Diaz boys. Then Eddie even took him out to put those newfound powers to good use all dressed up. So there was no need to mention that he can’t figure out the correct too amount while he’s with Natalia unless it was deliberately done to empathize how he clearly doesn’t have the answers while he’s with the wrong person. It was such an obvious random thing that wasn’t so random when you think about the connection to his math powers and what it can mean.

Natalia also wrongly assuming he can’t figure out the tip because he’s flustered just further proves she doesn’t really see him the way he initially believed. She was skeptical and looked at him like he was hiding something away from her. Her eyes were disbelieving which isn’t a great foundation to start a new relationship on.

Even the color theory checks out here to further confirm Natalia is not the one for Buck. Both dates they’ve been on by this point, she’s been in red, whereas Buck has been in tan/beige. He’s not wearing blue at the same time she’s wearing red.

The 118 Discuss Buck & Eddie’s Dating Lives

Once again I absolutely adore each and every time we see the 118 discuss their personal problems/lives in the truck. This was the scene we had spoiled to us months ago and it was definitely different than what we all were expecting!

B: Does she request to not come back?

Eddie’s side eye during Buck asking about Lucy is totally on brand for every other time we’ve seen Eddie react to one of Buck’s old flings. Especially this season where we’ve seen him dismiss Buck any time he mentions previous lovers. Love me some jealous Eddie!

E: So your day off went as good as mine?

H: Hiking and golfing in the same day? Sounds like you were out there looking for signs too Eddie.

E: You know I don’t believe in that stuff. I want what I had when I met Shannon. It just uh, it was magic.

C: Oh so you believe in magic?

E: I believe in chemistry.

H: Ahh in science. I get it.

B: The magic, weren’t you guys in the 12th grade when you met?

E: 8th and then we lost touch. Reconnected in 12th.

Eddie, oh Eddie. The fact that this man has had many different signs and he refused to listen to each and every one is worrisome because he thinks he’s looking for magic instead. Isn’t magic just another form of a sign from the universe? This man is trying to use chemistry as an excuse as to why he’s not having any luck finding someone. Well chemistry is definitely not something you force with another person. Chemistry is something that should be natural and organic and believable. To be honest, Eddie didn’t even have that much chemistry with Shannon from what we’ve seen. They were attracted sexually and that was it. They didn’t spend much time together on screen to make that chemistry between the two of them palpable enough for the audience. There’s also many different types of chemistry and they definitely had sexual chemistry but seemed to lack actual romantic and emotional chemistry.

The topic of chemistry was very poignant especially because we’ve seen time and time again how much organic chemistry Eddie has with Buck. They’ve been attached at the hip since the beginning and always gravitate to each other. Not only that but they’re both very vulnerable with each other and turn to each other in times of need, which assures emotional chemistry. We’ve also seen Eddie flirt and tease Buck many times throughout the years which indicates a form of sexual chemistry as well. Do I need to remind anyone of the kitchen scene™️ in season 3? So it is possible for Eddie to have chemistry with someone. I just believe it has to be someone he already knows and trusts. He believed he had chemistry with Shannon, who was a longtime friend of his. Well what is Buck? Surely Eddie has got to know that they have chemistry with each other. There’s just got to be something preventing him from connecting those dots to Buck.

B: Ok so that’s what it is. You suck at dating.

BN: Alright Buck, come on.

B: Ah, come on. If he met his wife when they were kids, he just hasn’t really dated.

I’ve been saying for many years now that one of Eddie’s favorite past times is looking at Buck. This season especially has shown how intensified those looks have been. One thing I found interesting was that as he was talking to Buck and the team, he rarely was holding any eye contact with Buck which indicates he wasn’t all that comfortable discussing the matter. The moment in which Buck diverts his attention elsewhere, Eddie defaults to his typical fond longing looks at Buck. He looks at him for a prolonged time and only looks away when Buck turns back around. He literally looks mesmerized by Buck just talking and even lifts his brows up so slightly like one would when they’re looking at someone they adore. That in itself indicates a secret in which Eddie’s hiding from Buck and that secret may very well be his feelings for the other man.

C: So he sucks at it.

B: Yes!!

H: Clearly you’ve mastered it Buck.

Eddie’s reaction to Buck agreeing with Chim is hilarious because he immediately gives Buck his patented side eyes. He feels betrayed by Buck in that moment because he’s clearly taken Buck out and he didn’t suck at that. He’s kind of looking at Buck like “Are you serious right now? You know I don’t.” It’s in the subtle way his right brow lifts up in question that makes me believe that. There has to have been a reason the show gave us Buck and Eddie on that poker date before both men started dating other women. It shows a vast difference in how successful that day was compared to their other disastrous dates with others.

One more thing I would like to mention is once again Buck and Eddie’s strong mirroring. When they’re both singing the bride song, their hands and bodies are moving the same way, to the same beat. I know it can be seen as them just being silly but even though Bobby was also singing, he’s not in sync with his body as the other two clearly are lol.

Eddie and Bobby Go To The Hardware Store

Like when Eddie was dating Ana and he was sorta lying to his son about it, he’s doing the same now. He told Christopher he had been running errands when he was going places in hopes of finding a woman to date. The fact that Eddie feels the need to lie to Christopher about it shows that it’s not something he wants to be doing nor does he feel like it’s the right thing for him. There’s something about his actions that makes him feel like it’s not good enough to let his son know yet.

Eddie calling up his future father in law for help was so sweet and I enjoyed their little scene together, especially because their conversation was very important. Not only was it important but it really did scream Bathena/Buddie parallels.

E: So how’s you make it happen for you and Athena?

BN: We got called to a motorcycle accident, it was a bad one. I wasn’t at my best at the time. Needed to take a minute. She sat with me. Eventually I asked her to go to church and we prayed together.

E: Wow.

BN: A few days later we had dinner, things grew from there and now we’re about to have our fourth anniversary.

E: So you definitely weren’t looking for it.

Honestly I feel like every time Bobby gives Eddie any kind of advice about his love life, Eddie just misinterprets or misunderstands what he’s trying to say lol. Bobby literally used his own example of how he and Athena came to be which immediately made me think of Eddie’s own past. We all thought of Eddie’s breakdown in season 5 and how Buck was the one who sat next to him. Eddie wasn’t at his best, he needed a minute and Buck was the one who sat next to him. Buck was the one who stayed at his house, helped with his kid, and just was there supporting Eddie in any way he could have. That whole line of Eddie telling Bobby that he wasn’t looking for it can possibly foreshadow him finally opening his eyes and realizing the one who he’s been searching for has always been someone right under his nose. Someone who he didn’t have to go and look for because they’ve always been right by his side.

Buck’s Second Disastrous Date Night

Poor Buck really isn’t listening to the universe is he? This time, during his other date with Natalia, they’re first interrupted by Taylor Kelly on TV talking about her tell all book which was inspired by a member of the 118 she was close with. Natalia quickly puts 2 and 2 together and asks Buck about it, in which he says he’ll explain over dinner. Once again, Buck is having to explain himself and kind of assure her when it’s too early in the “relationship” for her to be questioning him the way she is.

B: Uh, and-and that’s everyone. I think. I-I hope that’s not too much.

N: No. Wow that is a life well lived. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite like you. You’re all in about everything. It’s a lot. But I guess I can be a lot too.

Buck is looking so intensely at her, trying to see if she understands where he’s coming from and if it will be a deal breaker. He smiles and nods to himself when it seems that she is understanding about his past which hurts when you realize this man just wants someone to love and accept him for all of him, the good bad and the ugly.

And then they get intruppted by Kameron coming in because of her marital issues with Connor. A literal sign from the universe. (Not even going to talk about all the 3’s we got just in this episode alone!) Natalia once again thinks it’s a lot and needs a minute to take it all in. She decides then that a person who has lived so much life and has more life to give others is too much for her. She decides to leave and tells Buck to “take care” which is the same exact thing his ex girlfriends have all said to him.

Now this, to me, indicates a failed attempt at a relationship because things are never going to work out with these two. Not only was she only seemingly interested in Buck’s death, but she doesn’t even want to know more about the life he’s lived. He’s an interesting man so full of energy and love and life that it scares her and makes her want to flee. That’s not a strong foundation in which to start a relationship on and even if she were to come back afterwards, I feel as though Buck has learned from his previous relationship to not settle and compromise who he is for anyone. He’s not going to change for anyone else. Who is meant to be his partner will love him for who he is anyways. Something Natalia clearly can’t do.

Eddie and Buck Not Listening To The Signs

The end montage was funny when you look at everyone off doing what they were doing. We have all the couples together and then we see Eddie go back to the hardware store. He’s clearly looking for something and he can’t find it until someone asks him if he’s looking for soemthing.

I want to talk about Marisol and Eddie’s body language here and how different it is when they both look at each other. Marisol is being flirty and leads into him with her hips first which clearly indicates some type of attraction. Eddie on the other hand takes a step forward and then one back. He doesn’t lean into her, doesn’t prompt a hug or anything. Asks her about her ceiling which indicates he clearly remembers her from a call.

M: Try this one. Works like magic.

E: This is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you.

Here she mentions magic, something in which Eddie was talking about previously in this episode. He kept saying he wanted what he and Shannon had and that was magic. Magic isn’t real. Magic is things people believe to be real and in this instance, Eddie believes what he had with Shannon was magic, when in reality it wasn’t. They worked hard for their relationship and there were a lot of ups and downs. Marisol saying that and Eddie immediately following up with how that’s what he was looking for is so important because that’s realistically what he had been searching for all episode long on those failed attempts at finding magic. Here we have a woman telling him and he just stops for a moment and thinks about it. He stops and thinks, hey maybe this is my sign. But he walks away. He stops and looks back but there’s clear confusion on his face, almost as if he doesn’t know what fo make about this little interaction. Clearly there’s something on his mind. But he turns around and keeps walking away from her while the music says “But you’re something that I must believe in and you’re there when I reach out for you.”

This would’ve been the perfect conclusion to his arc this episode. He was looking for magic, it took someone else pointing it out to him to see and he believed that’s what he wanted. But he didn’t do anything about it. He simply walked away. Because he doesn’t believe in it. He doesn’t believe in Marisol or believe her to be the one for him. Because he knows if he were to reach out for help, it wouldn’t be Marisol he reaches out to, at least that’s what my interpretations were. Remember, Eddie says to Bobby, “So you definitely weren’t looking for it” and as soon as Marisol points out the thing, he tells her “This is what I was looking for.” Marisol can’t be the person he’s meant to be with because as we established with Bobby, that someone is never going to be someone Eddie looks for. It’s going to be someone who knows Eddie, someone who can sit beside Eddie when he’s at his lowest and offer their support to him. Someone that’s been under Eddie’s nose this entire time. That’s not Marisol and I think Eddie’s realizing that himself.

(Now if we were to get Eddie somehow misunderstanding this and running into Marisol later on, thinking it’s a definite sign and trying to date her, we already know it’s going to fail because we’ve seen it play out once before with Ana. So regardless, it’s not really something I’m worrying over.)

Finally we get Buck going back to his loft with the pickles Kameron asked for. He goes up to his room and sees Kameron sleeping in his bed. He looks for a moment and turns around and heads back downstairs. Now to me, the quick look he gave her shows longing for that himself. A partner to come home to and a family of his own.

Buck sitting on his uncomfortable couch and eating the pickles while he looks up indicates he’s still a guest in his own home. He’s kicked out of his bed and he’s looking up once again defeated because he longs to have that for himself. This coming right after Natalia leaving him and once again being left completely alone. He’s also missing what’s right in front of him because he just doesn’t listen to the universe. He’ll get there soon, I believe in it.

So sorry for this being so late this week! I’ve been sick and work has been very very crazy. I hope anyone who is still interested and reads this enjoys it! I appreciate you all regardless. Thanks to my love @aa-lionheart for the wonderful gifs 💜 We got one more of these for the season! Manifesting for it to be good for us ✨

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie language meta #buddie meta #911 meta #911 on fox

237 notes · View notes

gayerthanevertbh · 2 years

Text

sex addict

second kinktober fic

pairings: sex!addict natasha x fem!reader

warnings: 18 minors dni sex!addict natasha, cheating, smut, pet names, dirty talking, basically everything is toxic i guess

notes: i’m so sorry for being so late, i had a lot of things to do this week but here’s day two (idk anymore) of kinktober! enjoy!

kinktober masterlist | masterlist | navigation

“You’re telling me,” you take a deep breath, pointing your index finger at the woman sleeping with countless women behind your back. “You’re making a “sex addict” as an excuse for sleeping with women behind my back?!”

“I can’t help it, baby,” she whines at you, holding your arms closer to her as she tries to bring your body to mold. But you refused to do that, so you stayed in your place. “It’s just–It just happens…”

“I seriously don’t understand how you’re just saying that!” you shrieked, shaking her hands off of you.

“Sweetheart, please calm down–”

“It just happens?!” you rummaged to her closet and grabbed a chunk load of her clothes, throwing them across her face as you saw her wide-eyed expression. Acting like the victim, I see. “I never want to see your face again, Natasha. I don’t think I’ll ever face you again! If you wanted sex, you can just say that but instead–you find other people to do what you want to do!”

“You’re not listening to me!” her voice was starting to crack and brought her hands to your arms again, both of your faces inches apart. “I do have an addiction, okay? I understand that I need help, but whenever I fuck them all I think about is you… you know you’re the only girl I think about.”

What doesn’t make you understand is how she has the complete capability of looking at someone else’s body and saying: oh I just think about you whenever I fuck them. No biggie. The point is, it was a “biggie” for you. Of course, it was. How is it not a big deal when your wife has been nothing but a sex addict with 90% of the women in her company?

She pulls you toward her as she kisses the crown of your head, trying to push away the fact that her fingers are in somewhere else’s cunt. “Honey, I’m so sorry. I don’t understand myself either, I just can’t help it. P-Please, let me make it up to you… let me love you.”

“I need you to get out of my house.” you said quietly, trying to brush her kisses away but it was making you feel something else that you shouldn’t feel whatsoever. Her hands were lowering down your waist, simply pulling you close while having her lips inches away from the skin of your neck. Even though you must hate her, you must push her away. What seems to not get you is that you’re still very much attracted to your wife. She leaves a small soft peck on your neck, touches your bum with her hands, and presses herself into you.

“Mommy is desperate for you baby,” she whispers with her watering eyes, which makes your heart belt out with the desire for her to make love to you instead. “Aren’t you my good girl? My sweet little angel? Oh, you’re so pure. So innocent. C’mon, be my good girl and let me fuck you, sweetie…”

She brings you to the edge of the bed and makes you sit, cornering you with her hands on either side of your thighs as she gives you lingering kisses on your mouth, then to your cheeks. She touches you like no other, almost as if nothing has happened that occurred to this situation. You let her in once more, but once she’s done – you’re gone.

“Mommy,” you whisper on her cheekbone; grabbing her wrist as you locked between your thighs, mewling into her ear like some slut you are. “Please touch your little girl, touch me…”

“You want me to touch you?” Natasha coaxes, not able to keep her lips from you. She removes your shirt, kissing your cleavage with so much want that roars out of her system. You could tell that she was desperate considering that she was groping your breasts that were covered by your bra. “Oh fuck–God damn, your boobies are so perfect in my hands…”

She hooks her fingers into your shorts and swiftly pulls the cloth down, leaving you naked with your panties that match the color of your bra. Pink. Just like she always wanted. Natasha smiles at you and kisses your stomach while having her other hand inside of your thigh, pushing you slowly back down on the mattress with whines and moans that were coming out of your mouth; she loves to hear them each time you want her.

“I love you so much,” she says to you while having her lips smudged in the corner of your mouth, parting your legs as she gets between them; her fingers unhooking your bra. “Tell Mommy what you want, baby. Please, tell me what you want.”

“Fuck me,” you said with a whine, kicking your underwear off. She was eye-struck the moment your bottom was bare. “Go on, fuck your angel. Isn’t that what you wanted, baby?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Then go on,” you tease her with your fingers spreading your wet folds, bringing it back to your lips as you suck your juice in front of the woman – staring down at you with hooded eyes. Natasha didn’t waste time and lunged her body toward you, kissing your mouth passionately.

She was obsessed with sex. Of course, she was. In every aspect that was given, she would always have her way with you. There was a faint memory of her fucking you inside a restaurant bathroom, having her hand on your mouth while railing you with her strap; dirty words filled up the entire moist room. But what makes your heart clench with despair is that you were never the first choice, even though she claims she was always thinking about you whenever she would have other girls in her lap.

Both of you were finally naked in bed as she rubbed her thumb against your clit, moaning into your open mouth while having her eyes shut tight. She’s probably imagining someone else underneath her, which isn’t me. She whimpers, “Open up for me sweet girl, yeah… just like that. God, I’m so horny right now.”

She plunges two fingers inside your tight hole as she lets out a loud groan near your ear; her back hunching from the feeling of your warm walls clenching her long fingers hard. You shut your eyes as you throw your head back, muttering dirty words like fuck your little girl into her ear as you raise your hips for emphasis. Which she loves. She growls and pumps her fingers into you furiously, kissing your collarbone with reassurance that she’ll never hurt you.

“You feel so good inside me,” you tell her with a high-pitched voice, licking and biting your bottom lip as your boobs bounce with her fingers railing into you. She grunts each time the tip of her fingers hit your spot, finding it incredibly sexy whenever your tits shake with every thrust. “Agh–Natasha! Please go faster, fuck me hard…”

“Oh yeah, that’s it fuck! Urgh,” she nips into your flesh, not caring when you scream out of pleasure and pain. But she knew, deep inside, that you like being bitten by her. “Mmph, there you go… that’s my little girl, take all of it.”

Something in the pit of your stomach made it churn, making you realize that you’re close to having an orgasm when it hasn’t been five minutes into fucking. She lifts her head and looks down at you, noticing that your chest is turning reddish. Probably because of the heat that you both had. This made her feel more possessive and continued to assault your bruised hole with her fingers inside of you. You can’t say you’re in pain (it was more pleasure than that) but whenever she reaches further inside of your cunt, you can feel the burning sensation that comes within it. It turns you on, but it turns her on even more.

“Don’t stop,” you whisper, flexing your neck as her palm knocks on your clit. “Please don’t stop–ohmygod–I’m so close, keep fucking me like that!”

Her teeth grit with the pleasure she’s getting from rubbing against your thigh, and licks the center of your chest, rolling her eyes in the back of her head when she feels your walls tightening around her. She chants out, “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” as she feels herself getting close as well. You suddenly cover your mouth quickly as you shake underneath her, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. She watches you beneath her and buries her head into your neck, humping your thigh with trembling hips as she screams into your flesh.

“Agh, fuck!” she kept humping her clit against your thigh, lifting your back as she held you close. “Oh god, I love you so much–I can’t fucking stop, don’t ever leave me… Fuck yes, oh my god.”

The minute she was done, you had your things packed as you threw a box of condoms and said with an edge in your voice, “Be careful whoever you sleep with, and keep your fake dick into your pants.”

“B-But–”

“I no longer want you in this house, Ms. Romanoff.”

taglist: @natashaswife4125 @iknowlittleone comment if you want to be in the kinktober masterlist!

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fanfic #gayerthanevertbh's kinktober #black widow x reader #black widow x you

769 notes · View notes

d4rkpluto · 2 years

Text

𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔶 𝔬𝔟𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫

♇ those who have chiron negatively aspecting venus might have a bad relationship with women (could be chiron conjunct venus too)

♇ they also might think getting into relationships is healing and good for them, which is actually the opposite as they will attach themselves into the relationship too much

♇ mars - neptune is a beacon of people having sexual fantasies about you, specifically opposition/squares, conjunction can do it too

♇ i was wondering what has been making me attract pretty men, i already knew my 7h ruler being in the 2h (venus ruled house) helped with it but i forgot it was also my taurus mars. so also check what sign your mars is in to see what kind of men you attract, i also have mars in the 5h and they always end up being sporty.

♇ sag pluto gen is already provoking enough but if they also in the gem lilith gen dont even bother arguing with them

♇ lilith in 7hs...what's up with you being in third party situations

♇ songs that have their sun sign as your ascendant sign, you will feel very connected to it. [ could also count as venus, mercury, moon and neptune being in your 1h or even aspecting your moon ]

♇ those with mars-saturn aspects [ mainly conjunct, sextile and trine ] hate it when things arent given in time

♇ taurus women, specifically taurus rising women are sooo beautiful

♇ though people with virgo + scorpio in their inner planets [ including the ascendant ] are most likely going to have an unsymmetrical face. [ it doesnt have to be too much though ] for example, kat graham, scorpio moon and virgo mercury and tyler posey mars along with mercury in scorpio with venus in virgo. along with myself a scorpio moon with my chart ruler in virgo.

♇ martian venuses are well known for their sense of style, [ mainly scorpio venuses as it has more influence because of pluto ] for example we have marilyn monroe, rihanna, and audrey hepburn for aries venuses and alexa demie, doja cat and cardi b for scorpio venuses.

ARIES VENUSES

SCORPIO VENUSES

♇ libra sun men can be very nonchalant, especially if they have virgo placements. can go the other way as well. yet, their nonchalance charms other people.

♇ though you will be very connected to musicians who have the same moon sign as you, their music will make you feel understood [ bonus if you share the sun sign; for me this it is the weeknd, aquarius sun and scorpio moon ]

♇ aquarius placements, specifically aquarius suns can either be the most basic person you'll ever meet or the most authentic. when they want to stand out, they wont, if they dont want to stand out, they will. example, julia fox.

♇ martian rising [ mars in the first house, aries or scorpio ascendant ] can give someone an unsymmetrical face. as mars rules over things that are not symmetrical.

♇

♇ pluto's masterlist

♇ astrology observations masterlist

1K notes · View notes

thewritingofamadwoman · 2 years

Text

Billy Hargrove Drabble

Just a quick fluffy piece to get back into writing again. I’m a little rusty so I apologize if this isn’t that great. Thanks for reading!

*gif not mine

From my lifeguard post, I could clearly see the group of married women lined up in their pool chairs, waiting for Billy to come out. It had always bothered me that these women, some of which had children Billy’s age, were objectifying him as he did his job. Not that he cared; Billy ate up the attention. He puffed up his chest and walked around the pool, berating children for running, all while looking sinful in those red life guard shorts. As his girlfriend, I was allowed to stare and drool. My best friends’ mother, however, was not.

I rolled my eyes at the sight of Karen Wheeler pushing her breasts up into her bathing suit. The married, middle aged mothers of Hawkins, Indiana didn’t know that Billy was a taken man; we made sure to keep the PDA to a minimum while at work, much to Billy’s disappointment. That didn’t stop him from cornering me whenever we were in the employee changing rooms; not that I minded in the slightest. But I’m sure unsuspecting parents would rather not have their young children see two lifeguards making out and groping one another during lunch breaks. I bit my lip, thinking about our last make-out session. Why didn’t I just call out sick today and convince Billy to play hooky?

I sighed and looked down at my watch, five more minutes until shift change. Typically, I would cover the mornings at the pool and Billy would switch out with me around noon. I waited for him to finish daily, either going for a swim myself or strolling around Starcourt Mall until he locked up at 4pm. Today would be no different. Like clock work, the door to the boys locker room opened up at 12 sharp to reveal my boyfriend coming in for his shift. With his sunglasses on and chiseled chest oiled up, Billy walked towards my lifeguard post. I lifted my own shades up onto my head, looking down from my spot and subconsciously biting my lip as I stared at my boyfriend who was headed in my direction. Billy sent me a knowing smirk before turning his attention to the wanton ladies of Hawkins.

“Ladies,” he purred with a nod of his head, being the natural flirt that he was. I rolled my eyes again, knowing he entertained the women purely to boost his ego…and to annoy me. I made my way down the steps of my post, listening to Karen and the other women give their usual chorus of “Hi Billy” while mostly sounding out of breath. I couldn’t blame them; Billy was attractive even on his worst days. But wearing nothing except swim trunks? That would easily get even the most loyal of women flustered. When he finally made his way to me, Billy’s grin was wide and teasing. I rolled my eyes again, but contagiously smiled back and removed the sunglasses from my hair.

“Hi,” I greeted, my smile even brighter when Billy took off his shades and let his eyes trail over my figure slowly. When his gaze finally reached mine, I blushed at the look in his eyes.

“Hi gorgeous. Gonna head to the mall or wait for me by the water?”

“I’m probably going to change and then head to the mall. I wanna stop by the GAP and see if they have any new cute tops. I should be back by closing time and then we can head out for dinner?” Billy nodded, smirk still playing on his lips as he went around me to climb up onto the lifeguard post. “Sounds good beautiful. I’ll see you then.” With one last wink, Billy put his sunglasses back on and immediately went into lifeguard mode, yelling at a boy who was running by the pool. I let out a laugh and decided to head to the locker room. Once in there I realized I had left my water bottle by the post and turned back.

As I stepped outside, I noticed Karen Wheeler getting up from her pool chair and walking into the shallow end of the pool. Her breasts were forcibly pushed so far up, I was impressed that they didn’t pop out of her bathing suit. Karen was slowly swimming towards Billy’s post, exaggerating her movements and strokes in the water to try and catch his attention. After a few laps around the pool, Billy finally noticed her. I rolled my eyes at the way he took off his sunglasses to watch Mrs. Wheeler attempt to look attractive. At the end of her swim, Karen stepped out of the water in what she assumed was a sexy display of her curves, dropping her towel “accidentally”. Billy, who had stepped down from his post, headed towards Karen and reached down to pick up the towel to hand to her.

“Looking good Mrs. Wheeler,” Billy smirked, watching the older woman blush and giggle back at him. I felt my blood boil as I watched Nancy’s mother flirt with my boyfriend. While Billy was absolutely not interested in Mrs. Wheeler whatsoever, he would be lying if he said she wasn’t an attractive woman. I saw red while walking towards them; my mind was set and I was moving purely on instinct. I got to them just in time to hear Karen ask if Billy had any plans this weekend. I walked right in between them and did the one thing I said I would never do at work. I grabbed Billy by the neck and sensually placed my lips on his. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, and I felt Billy tense before relaxing, placing a one hand on my waist and kissing me back gently. I broke the kiss before either of us got too carried away. Billy licked his bottom lip before smirking at me. “What was that for?”

“Sorry baby, I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. I’ll be back later by the time you finish up here. Oh! Hi Mrs. Wheeler, I didn’t see you there. How’s Nancy? And Mike? Say hi to Mr. Wheeler for me!” I smiled politely and tried to hide the triumph in my eyes when Karen stumbled back and blushed, heading back to her pool chair with the rest of her friends. I turned my attention back to Billy to see him smirking back at me.

“What?” I asked innocently. Instead of responding, Billy placed both hands on my hips and pulled me close, smirk still playing on his lips and eyes twinkling. “Did you just break your number one rule at work because you got jealous over an older woman?” Billy pulled me even closer, his nose touching mine. I blushed at our proximity as well as my embarrassment at the truth. “I was NOT jealous. I just…wanted her to know that you were taken. She’s creepy for hitting on you.” Billy chuckled, in the sexiest way possible, and continued to smirk at me. He bit his lip, eyes not breaking eye contact. “You drive me crazy sweetheart. You know I’m yours and only yours. You don’t have to worry about Mrs. Wheeler.” I smiled back and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Well, someones gotta keep the cougars at bay,” I teased, watching as Billy laughed and gave my hips one last gentle squeeze before letting go of me, ready to head back to work.

“I’ll see you soon beautiful, and I’ll remind you just how how crazy I am about you.” And just with that, I couldn’t wait for Billy’s shift to end and for our summer weekend to begin.

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader insert #stranger things imagine #billy Hargrove fanfic #stranger things fanfic

2K notes · View notes

ghoulishcraving · 2 months

Text

on the theme of queerbaiting and hannibal i have OPINIONS and idk how well ill be able to express them on writing and in english but here we go

i get why some call it queerbaiting, and, although, i myself consider it canon, HEAR ME OUT

I'm going first to put the example of a real life artist, yoongi, from bts, this guy has consistently answered to questions like "what's your ideal woman" by saying "a person like...." or even saying things like "the gender doesnt matter much to me, it's the personality.....", has lyrics on his songs like "either a girl or a guy I'll make you come with my tongue....", and even said on a radio show years ago that he liked "the macho type" in guys, but he is still not considered queer by the general audience, he is not queer, except to queer fans like myself, bc we see that and obviously that means the man is not straight but to the general public, to the straight public he never said explicitly that he is gay, bisexual, pansexual, queer, anything so he is "not gay".

because the thing about queer identities is that they will be denied as long as there is the slimmest chance to do it, as long as there is not a direct rotund answer.

that happens with hannibal, it doesnt matter how obvious is, because there isn't an explicit acceptance or declaration of queerness and there isn't an explicit kiss or sex scene or confession between will and hannibal.

and that is something that we do not realise as much because of the niche audience it has, but if this show blew up, and its audience reached a more general audience we would see the denial of hannigram everywhere.

because even on the "is hannibal in love with me?" we do not get a rotund yes, we get a metaphora, a rephrasal, a reinterpretation, that can be interpreted as platonic. as a platonic obsession.

because even when both actors wanted a kiss it didnt happen it stayed platonic

and what confirmed for me this idea was the treatment of margot and alana's relationship.

we have a show, about the fbi, about a serial killer about violence (traditionally directed to men) protagonized by two very attractive men (usually done to attract a women audience), that plays onto queer topics spectacularly and has a blatantly obvious queer story (for queer people) but it's not a romance, and they never explicitly portray both men as queer, the only (explicit) relationships they are shown having is with other women (therefore not risking the lose of interest or hate from a straight audience that wants to be/men the protagonist or desires them/women) but the moment they introduce a lesbian couple we dont even see how they get together, we barely see anything about them as a couple but we do have a sex scene, wich would be something liked by a straight men audience, ignored by a straight women audience, and liked by a queer audience (confirming the queerness of the show) but without risking the proclaim of the two protagonists.

I hope this makes sense, and I know what fuller says and that the man just need a bit of cheering to write and post hannigram porn on his social media but honestly for me, what a creator, producer or actor post on their socials do not count bc it's not on the show, and again it allows deniability, it isn't canon

most of this is basically how I see the show translates onto a publicity and commercial sense, I myself consider hannigram as completely canon but still I'll always say that not putting a kiss on screen had nothing to do with the purity of the bond, or the complexity of their relationship and more to do with its marketing and the possibility of losing audience over it.

although in the end the audience of this show is the queerest I've seen hajfjdbnrnf

#hannibal #hannigram #nbc hannibal #queerbaiting #hannibal lecter #will graham #not queerbaiting by definition but by lack of media literacy and homophobia of the general public

23 notes · View notes

lz-didyounotice · 2 months

Text

11th doctor Mission : Save the king

This gif do not belong to me.

Heyy! This fic is a little longer then the last one. Wanted to do a propper adventure for the doctor and Clara to follow. This one is also cought in a time paradox. You will be presented as Jeanne du Berry, Favorite of the King Louis XV. I inspired myself with the plot of "The girl in the fireplace". Hope you enjoy !

Froggit-

Warning : Could be concidered Angst at the end, with a preestablished relationship. Mention of prostitution. As always, english is not my frist language.

------------------------

“Jeanne du Berry '' was one of the most beautiful women the 18th century had ever seen. From Lorraine to Paris, her beauty was jealous of many, as she attracted all eyes wherever she went. A tall and skinny figure, adorning wonderful pale skin. Her blue eyes looked so innocent, yet she knew how to make use of her charms. Her Long brown hair bleeding into blond as she walked amongst the sun.

She was also known as the favorite of the king, the one who had been part of his most desired dreams by the ladies of the court. Yet, by his side, she never wanted to change who she was and try to be another woman with the numerous étiquettes she was supposed to follow. It wasn’t her place to be. All she wanted was to love the king, make him laugh, let him know he deserved to be treated like a normal individual, to let his title aside when he was by hers. To love him for who he was, and not what he was supposed to be.

After the death of the previous queen, Jeanne rose to power. The king’s daughters all wanted to see her fall, to see her lying in the dirt like the prostitute she was. A whore who had no right to be by their father's side.

Fortunately enough, Jeanne had what it took to ignore the pretentious princesses all too worried about their reputation to care for their father's feelings. And despite giving her best to be kind around her, something was lurking. Wanting her to be a part of something bigger. A piece of machinery well wired who needed guidance in the more gruesome ways.

As she entered her quarters, the king's valet was waiting for her.

"Sa Majesté souhaite que vous l’honoriez de votre présence ce soir pour le bal..."

(His Majesty wishes you to honor him with your presence tonight for the ball...)

"Faites-lui savoir que je me présenterais avec joie à ses côtés."

(Let him know that I would gladly present myself at his side.)

—--------------

As the doors of a blue police booth opened, a little brunette had taken a look outside, outstanded by the beautiful scenery.

The doctor hadn’t lied. Versailles was beautiful at this time of the year. In her dark blue dress, she also looked magnificent, a candy to the eye some would say. Her hair, up in a simple updo, refusing to wear one of those tall and overly done wigs (She had tried to before, but it was too itchy to even keep. Plus, if she needed to run, it would be a disaster).

As she turned around, she fell eye to eye with the doctor trying to activate the chameleon system of the Tardis. For the occasion, he had put on a magnificent Blue-tailed coat, with an intricate chemise, adorned with a waistcoat of a darker shade of blue. He hadn’t put a wig on either and preferred to hide it with a magnificent officer hat.

“Doctor, Hurry up, I don’t think we should be late for such an event! ”

“There is only so much I can do Clara !” Said the doctor trying to make the Tardis invisible.

“There seems to be something preventing her from disappearing… A force field or something of the sort. Which is weird since I closed the last one. ” He continued, still searching for the issue.

“Last one ?”

“Yes, well it wasn’t quite a force field, more of a time portal. Had a wonderful night with Madame de Pompadour on the occasion. Wonderful woman I might add.” He said while finally resolving their little camouflage problems. “Ah ha!”

“We may go now ?“ Pressed Clara, still waiting by the door.

“Yes !”

—--------------

The Ballroom was extraordinarily beautiful. Filled with too many of the richest people in the country. If she was being honest, Clara found it rather charming, yet felt a little uncomfortable around so many gorgeous women and men.

Elbows locked with the doctors, the assembly awaited for the king to arrive, rearranging themself as he was announced.

“Sa majesté le roi !”

As dictated the etiquette, Clara and the doctor bowed before him and returned to position once he had passed. The brunette found it rather hilarious, trying to retain a smile as she graced the floor. Checking for the doctor's eyes, she found him deep in thought, as if he had seen something he had wished to unsee.

But before long another person was announced.

“Madame la Comtesse du Barry !”

And here she was, the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. She wasn't wearing any fancy wigs, her hair let down on her shoulders, decorated with white and long feathers. Her dress was assorted to the cream-white coat the king was adorning. Her trail seemed to be as long as the ballroom as she gently walked towards him.

Once before the king, she presented herself, but as she did so, her eyes couldn't quit his, making the others start chattering, breaking the silence that once stood in the room. And as she did it two other times, Clara looked at the doctor, confused by what was happening before her.

But soon enough, the chatter was silenced by the music starting, a soft yet charming baroque rhythm playing in the assembly. And as the crowd arranged to dance, The Comtesse had in mind something rather scandalous for both her and Her Majesty. Taking his hand in hers, she accompanied him to the middle of the ballroom and started dancing with him. As everyone stopped to look at them, the Doctor couldn’t stop himself from seeing something he would have wanted to avoid.

All he could see was the golden bracelet around her right wrist, a piece of jewelry he knew wasn’t what it seemed. A shimmer perhaps? Whoever was dancing with the King wasn’t the real woman, a copycat at best, and looking at most of the guests, some wore the same one, hiding it under exaggerated sleeves.

“Doctor? Is something wrong…?”

“Very wrong…” Catching the girl's hand, he went to one of the hallways, trying to drown out the noise as he thought of a plan. “I guess I know now why I had so much trouble with the Tardis. We might have some uninvited guests… and a portal inside the castle.” He let out flapping his hands about.

“Why would someone want to invade Versailles in the 18th century? ”

“Lots of reasons…! An alien could easily overthrow someone else to get what he wants from it, by preparing a future terrain… Now, what I don’t understand is why choosing the favorite of the king and not the king himself.”

“Maybe he is the next target…? ”

“They would have already done it. Or-” Then it occurred to him that the king had been gone for months before the ball. Giving enough time for those who wanted to hurt him to take place within the court. “Or it was easier to blend in…” He turned toward Clara, excited by his breakthrough, but the frown on Clara's face made him get on track.

—--------------

Being attached to her bed was not really how she expected her reunion with the king. Her arms stretched too far for her to reach her feet tied to the end of the bed, unable to move. She was stuck and worried sick. Worried for her son, worried for the king-

The room which seemed so calm and charming was now giving her chills as she knew she would soon be killed by those imposters. All of them had left her alone, wanting to partake in the king's murder. The silence was slowly killing her. She had tried to cry for help, but the music seemed too loud for someone to hear.

Tired of her luck, she took a deep breath one last time and called, her vocal cords trying to hold as she begged to be let out of this situation.

And soon enough commotion was noticed by the woman, making her cry once more. Begging whoever was in the hallway to walk into the room. A weird whirring noise was heard, then the lock gave out, leading the door to open.

Before her, stood a tall youthful young man, with unruly brown hair, sticking up in some places. Behind him, a beautiful woman, seemingly the same age as him, wearing a magnificent blue dress.

“Excuse me, sir…, do you happen to know how to get me out of those bindings ?”

“Please do not Sir… Just call me the Doctor. ” The man said while coming closer to the headboard. Using his sonic screwdriver manages to get her out of the metallic bindings.

“ The Doctor? What a particular name… Is it your occupation or is it a title ?”

“More of a title.”

“What a pity, your hands seem adept at such handy work.” Said Jeanne as her own were finally freed. Soon enough she was off the bed, standing before the two travelers. “Regrettably, there’s no time for discourse, for my liege is threatened with poison by one of those deceitful fellows. One has assumed my likeness, and I dread I may be implicated in the scheme.”

“We may be of assistance!“

“I would have expected as such.”

“Those individuals as you call them, what do you know of them ?” Asked clara, stepping beside the doctor.

"From what I saw, they resemble humans with crystal antlers protruding from their foreheads. Lacking noses, they still appeared capable of breathing. One among them spoke of a civil conflict back in their homeland, mentioning something termed 'the hour of joy,' if memory serves."

“Ow! How stupid could I be! Of course!” Said the Doctor, slapping his forehead frustrated he had let such information sleep through. “ To flee the war they had to have a way out. That’s why there is a time vortex opened. They want to kill the king so it would be easier to find a new home for their people in one of the most influential countries of her century.”

“Doctor? Do we have a plan ?”

“Need to find the portal and send them somewhere other than here.”

“How do we do that ?”

“Simple” The doctor confirmed while scanning the room. “As expected. Jeanne, has there been any renovation in your room while the king was away ?”

“A painting of the king had been installed in my room…”

“Clever! Now could you show me where that would be ?”

Not losing any time, Jeanne convail them in a small room, adjacent to the bed. A rather large library awaited behind. In the middle of the room, was a soft red sofa, invaded by all sorts of books and before it stood a medium painting of the king.

Putting out his sonic, the doctor took it upon himself to jump on a chair and try to open what was hiding the portrait. “Here you are” As the painting got off the wall, a mix of wires had been discovered, a large panel hidden behind.

After reversing its polarity, the doctor finally was able to close the portal. Making whoever wanted to enter it appear on another planet that wasn’t Earth. Now, all they had to do was to get the imposters back to their ship.

—--------------

Jeanne was confused, yet still grateful for the help of the doctor. The ball was still going, and the final moments were to arrive soon, her dear king would be taken away. With a loud bang, the doors at the end of each hall opened, leaving the Comtesse now the center of attention.

She entered furious, still in the dress she had on this morning. Her corset was killing her, but running to get to the scene was not an option. The doctor had told her about the shimmers. How certain of the guests could also be traitors. But all you could think of was getting this imposter off her lover.

“My liege! I fear I am not the one you are holding in your arms!” Jeanne was still running toward him, not caring about the looks the other guests were giving her.

The music had stopped, and panic seemed to ensue as everyone saw double. Thanks to the doctor the situation was taken care of. Explaining what was happening to the king, it wasn’t long after he was out of the fake Jeanne's arms, trying to get back to his favorite. Still connected to their ship, the individual fled. The doctor promised them a safer and harmless way out. Welcoming them to an inhabited planet where they could thrive again.

—--------------

In the end, everything went well, no one was hurt, and the king was saved. He had even tried to get compensation for the help the doctor had offered. But he had refused, claiming it was just another Saturday for him.

Jeanne had followed the doctor and Clara back to the Tardis, wanting to know more about the two time travelers. It was irrational, yet she seemed to be attracted to this incredibly gentleman. Clara had gone ahead, entering the Tardis while the Comtesse stayed to discuss with the timelord.

“So, tell me. Am I to ever see you again?”

“We weren’t to meet in the first place.“ Let out the doctor.

"That is regrettable. I would have desired to learn more about you."

“You can always ask.”

"Can you be truthful? Your eyes betray a distant presence. Why must it be so melancholic?" Looking into his eyes, all she could see was dread, something old that still lingered.

“An old friend of mine had been missing. I searched everywhere, but I’ll find her at some point.”

"If she holds such significance to you, perhaps she is nearer than you anticipate."

“How could she be ?”

"I suppose destiny plays a role? And it's undeniable that you're attractive; I wouldn't fault her for desiring your return."

The doctor couldn't help himself but look at her. Something was screaming at him to look closer into it, to try and understand, but shoving a sonic screwdriver into someone’s face wasn’t a good approach.

“Have we met before ?”

"I don't believe we have. But something suggests it won't be the final occasion either."

“How can you be so sure ?” The Doctor said while trying to find out why he was so attracted to her.

"Life unfolds in mysterious manners. So do I. To my knowledge, no one is born twice."

“I can guess of a few species that can.”

“You're the Bowtie maniac, you should be the one who knows.”

The doctor looked as if he had seen a ghost. “I’m not -(A bow tie maniac)”. In the whole universe, there was only one person who called him this, that he accepted it from. Locking eyes with hers, all he could see was how old they seemed, how much they lived, despite seeming so young. But it made sense. After all (Y/N) had told him about certain past lives. Never giving a name to not disturb time paradoxes that weren’t meant to be. She did mention having had a peculiar life in the 18th century, falling in love with the king. But never would he have guessed for you to have been born as Jeanne de Becu. La Comtesse du Barry.

“Madame! Le roi vous attend !” They heard being called. The Valet of the king interrupted the many questions that had yet to be asked, but it was better to not know and let destiny be what it had done best. Reunite one another.

Jeanne felt there was something more and she wanted to know. But it would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it? Caressing his confused face with her right hand, she smiled at him. A simple smile, that made his hearts flutter.

"I suppose this is merely a 'farewell,' Doctor. I'll see you when the time arrives, my Bowtie Maniac." And as her hand left his cheek, he felt his hearts hurt, being left once more by the woman he loved the most in the entire universe.

—--------------

Bonus :

The Tardis felt silent, sad even. The tension was too much for Clara, and she couldn’t help herself from asking what was going on. Why was he looking so distraught, and was being so quiet as he brought her home?

“Who was she ?”

“Jeanne du Berry? Favorite of the King. A more pleasant way to say concubine. She was born in a monastery. But she became a lady in waiting, then worked in a brothel. She got the visit of a rich noble from the court that presented her to the king. It was love at first sight.”

“And to you ?”

“I didn’t know her by that name. At least never heard her mentioning it as one of her previous incarnations. She never wanted me to know.”

“Why would she hide it ?”

“Paradoxes. If I had known, I might never have wanted to meet the younger version of herself. Avoid it even.”

“What happened to her ?”

“I lost her” Seeing the sad face of Clara, the Doctor still wanted to see her smile, and stop worrying about what went through his head. “But I’m sure we will meet again. Travel together once more like we always did. I’m sure you two would love each other.” Finally let out the doctor full of hope.

#the doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #11th doctor x reader #doctor who x imortal reader #clara oswald #doctor who x reader #Doctor who x reader!Oc #angst #oneshot

33 notes · View notes

isfjmel-phleg · 4 months

Text

Regarding the recent discussion of blaming unmarried women in their thirties for everything that's wrong with society--this is my specific, personal experience on the matter.

I am an unmarried Baptist woman in my early thirties. I have never dated, have never been interested in anyone (beyond a weird crush in college that was less an attraction and more me trying to convince myself I was normal), am not looking for anyone, and have no intention of getting married in the foreseeable future.

Churches, in my experience, have no idea what to do with someone like this. A single woman is already suspect enough but one who isn't pathetic and pining about it? Clearly one of those selfish feminists (which is of course the Worst Insult Of All for a woman, besides calling her a woman instead of a lady) who will never get to know what Real Love is. Oh, and the birth rate is going down alarmingly, and we all know whose fault that is. Don't worry, God has someone out there for you. You just haven't found the right one yet. We're praying for your future husband. A Nice Godly Young Man™. My mom proudly reminds me that she has never pressured me to marry but then tells me things like if I decide I don't want to get married, what if someone comes along and I miss my chance? Or she'll try to reassure me that marriage isn't terrible.

I don't think marriage is terrible. In fact, I take marriage very seriously. That's why I'm not married. It's a huge deal to put that kind of trust in someone and to do so permanently (ideally). There's a lot of risk. People can seem nice but turn out to be not what you thought they were (this happened to my best friend, who married a man who turned out to be a p*rn addict who had no interest in correcting this sin and saving their marriage), and then you--and your children, if you have any by then--can get badly, irretrievably hurt. I wouldn't want to marry anyone whom I wasn't absolutely convinced was worthy of my trust. And quite frankly, I haven't encountered any guy who fits that description.

...because as far as I can tell, my super-traditional denomination doesn't tend to always raise its boys well (exceptions do exist, but I'm generalizing from what I've seen). These Nice Godly Young Men™ often come with a lot of emotional immaturity. A lot of inability to connect with women--we act like men and women are such different creatures that they can never truly relate to each other or share interests and besides, you ladies shouldn't be friends with guys anyway because it inevitably leads to sexual interest--and yet somehow they expect us to meet and connect enough to marry! There's a lot of ego and macho posturing and expectation of being the head Supreme Dictator of the household. And I don't want that. I don't want to be stuck with a man who expects me to be less intelligent than him. I don't want a man who wants to be a sort of combination of father and boss and military commander whom I am obligated to sleep with. I don't want a man who would see me as just a means to an end.

Are there men of reasonably comparable beliefs to my own who aren't like this? Sure, probably. But I'm not going to hold my breath for one even if I were interested in a marital relationship.

I wouldn't want to get married just because it's expected. Or because I'm afraid of being alone. Or because I think it will make me a Real Adult. Or because I want babies (not older children or teenagers or eventual adults--just cute, cuddly babies). Or because some guy comes along who's Nice Enough so I might as well. Or because everyone else is doing it and I need to be in the Wife/Mom Club too. Or because I'm a woman so I Have To. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair to either me or the man I would marry to enter into something so binding, so serious, on such flimsy pretexts. I would much, much rather be married to no one at all--which really isn't a dreadful fate at all!--than married for the wrong reason and have to live with those regrets.

God, for his own purposes, has not given me a desire for marriage, and I fully accept this. If that changes, he will make it clear to me. If there's someone out there who is genuinely good and kind and mature and wants a Rebekah (not just A Wife--any Nice girl will do for that--but me specifically as a whole human being) and needs to be in my life, well, God can make that happen, I guess. But honestly, I don't need this mythical creature to be happy. I have a family. I have friends. It's taken a long time but I'm becoming better at believing my friends really love me. And that means a lot. I am loved. I have purpose. A different purpose from many others' but still worthwhile.

I do struggle a lot with feeling silently compared to the women around me who have done the Good Baptist Girl thing, and I do wish that people in churches treated single women with the same regard as married ones. But even though that's hard, that doesn't change anything about how God feels about us.

So this whole thing of blaming unmarried women in their thirties for everything that's wrong with society? It's not that these women are ungodly. It's that we have high standards, and our culture is at a place where we don't have to just take what we can get to survive anymore. It's not ungodly to take marriage seriously enough to not just settle but rather hold out for someone who can best model what God really expects a good husband to be--or else find meaning and value in the life of a single person, nonetheless much beloved by the most loving and trustworthy one of all.

#random personal stuff #back on my soapbox feel free to ignore #hopefully this makes sense? I have a hard time articulating what I mean when I feel strongly about something

32 notes · View notes

sinisterexaggerator · 4 months

Note

Genuinely curious: How did you get hooked on Banaka?

I have an enabler, that’s why. A few, but none so great as @allsystemsblue and I thank her every day for that. Not only do we have daily discussions about those two, but it makes the ideas run wild in my head. The more and more I think about them, the more ways I see them being good together, so much so I name them my OTP.

At first, like most Bane Stans, I was like, nah, he’d hate him. Hondo would annoy the fuck out of Bane, and while that may be true, that doesn’t account for things such as nuance, or growing to be obsessed with your “enemy” to the point it becomes homoerotic. >D

But I sell myself short. I have thought way too long and hard to give a simple explanation such as this, so let me delve a little more into the idea by explaining a bit of their canon backstories, and then my own takes on how they work well together and why.

Bane grew up on Duro, specifically in New Tayana, and lived in an area called the “Descent Ghetto.” It was not a nice place. Hondo was raised for a time on Sriluur, a not so nice place either, in Hutt Space where his mother taught him how to pick-pocket, among other things. Eventually, he was sold into slavery, but he knew deep down I am sure that it was for the money. He escaped, but we can determine they both have a rough start in life.

At this level we might say there could be an understanding. A mutual respect for a man who is self-made. In this they can relate, and while Hondo has his own set of problems commanding an entire crew, both could possibly confide in one another and discuss life’s ills.

As I mentioned in a previous post, Jango and Bane are an “item” if you will, for a period of time. I have yet to decide all the determining factors or all the things I want to cover in this part of my story, but based on what I know about Jango, he was not an affectionate sort. Gruff, surly, to the point, a man of few words, and with a short temper who has little patience for bullshit. If we take that and add to it a cunning, outspoken, brash, ill-tempered, sassy, aggressive Duros, to me that equates to an unhappy ending, or a clashing of personalities are they are both so similar. In this case, opposites attract.

If Jango and Bane were to part ways, Hondo being in the picture and observing their relationship, seeing the value in Cad, becoming fascinated and absorbed in him, regardless of if Bane knows or acknowledges that fact, should he give the Weequay a chance, all those things he has been denied through Jango easily come into fruition via Hondo Ohnaka.

This man needs love, support, a friend even, healing. He is traumatized in part due to his past (my story), and Jango is not that empathetic or concerned.

Hondo is attentive, charming, a deep thinker despite his clownish façade. If Bane can get past his petty grievances, if they were to share a moment or two alone, if they had a chance to talk, to linger in each other’s presence, if BANE ALLOWED HIM A SHOT, I think Ohnaka could sweep him off his feet. He would see there was more to him than just the flamboyant, foppish pirate.

Granted, Bane is untrusting. He sees the women; men; sentients, that Hondo brings to Florrum. He knows of his sexual escapades. He knows he’s a flirt and a scoundrel, so it is tough going in the beginning for Bane to accept what he is experiencing or receiving from him is genuine.

Perhaps they engage in something together, possibly among others, that is a sexual awakening in Bane. I see Hondo as giving to Bane things he has never felt before or even knew was possible.

He would hate it. It would unnerve him. He wouldn’t know what to think, to do, how to address this feeling inside himself, and it would soon devour him alive.

Maybe he needs more of it, despite wanting to inflict violence or damage against the person (Ohnaka) that made him feel this way. It becomes a need, a thirst so infuriatingly strong in him that it must be quenched.

This could develop in to a tentative, informal, even secretive relationship. It could go on for months, weeks, Hondo one of the few people who can bounce right back after one of Cad’s terrible mood swings. He doesn’t take offense to his words, or rarely if that, something more personal perhaps, but he is able to deal with this terrible, bratty boy and knows just how to placate him, how to soothe him.

Maybe casual sex “digresses," or “upgrades” to feelings being involved, real affection occurring, yet also hidden behind closed doors. I foresee angst, drama, hurt, comfort, and a whole plethora of other tropes occurring between these two.

One is the concept of “sun” and “moon.” Hondo is the sun to Bane’s moon. He is the sunshine one, the happy one, the one who can get this bounty hunter out of his funk on more than one occasion, despite his jealous, possessive tendencies.

To me they are perfectly complimentary. That’s basically it. Not only that, Hondo knows when he needs his space, when not to crowd him, when to stand down, and even though Bane may raise his hand against him, Hondo would never afford him the same reaction. Not like Jango.

Though Hondo speaks many, many words, actions speak louder to Bane, and Hondo can read him, whereas many cannot.

Pair that with his almost obsessive interest in Bane, and the fact he is without a doubt attracted to him from the moment Fett brings him to Florrum, and we have for a most interesting potential ship, IMO.

#Fanfiction #Banaka #Cad Bane x Hondo Ohnaka #Cad Bane #Hondo Ohnaka #Jango Fett #Clone Wars #headcanons #Ask #Fanfic Ask #My writing #rarepair #my otp #ship manifesto

23 notes · View notes