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ofstarsandvibranium · 3 years

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Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Bucky has been your neighbor for a few months now, so he likes to think you two are friends. Which is why he thinks you're the best person to go to to help him get back into the dating scene.

AN: inspired by one line of dialogue from the first ep of Falcon and the Winter Soldier. lol also, FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER EP 1 SPOILERS!

Bucky felt lost. Well, he's always felt lost ever since he suddenly came back along with have of the world's population. He was pardoned by the government and now a civilian. He was going through therapy to deal with his 70+ years worth of trauma and trying to navigate his way through the modern world. Everything was new and exciting but also overwhelming and exhausting.

His therapist encouraged him to date and make friends. So that's what he did, or at least, tried to do.

He considers you a friend. You live in the apartment right beside him, gave him a friendly smile and helping hand when he first moved in. You two chatted when you'd run into each other in the hall or in the laundry room. You were nice, attractive, funny. He honestly thought about asking you out a few times, but you were his friend, his only friend it seems. So he couldn't ruin that. Therefore, he resorted to online dating.

He signed up to a bunch of dating websites and apps: eharmony, match.com, plentyoffish, tinder-SO MANY. Why are there so many dating apps?!

He's scrolling through his phone, so overwhelmed by the different pictures and information. What does DTF mean???

He scowls, tossing his phone onto a pile of dry laundry he should be folding. You enter the laundry room with a chuckle, "Everything alright?"

He glances over his shoulder and sees you. He immediately smiles and faces you, "Hey, um, yeah," he gestures to his phone, "Just, um..." he lets out a sigh and asks, "Do you know anything about dating?"

You look at him curiously and reply, "A little. Why? What's up?"

"I'm just," he nervously scratches his head and places his hands on his hips, "I'm trying this online dating thing and it's...a lot."

You can't help but snort, "I feel ya," you give him a reassuring smile despite your heart dropping to your stomach, "So, uh, what sites or apps are you on?"

"Um...all of them?"

You snort again, "No way. Let me see your phone." you hold out your open palm to him and he places his phone into your hands after unlocking it. You swipe through his apps and your brows shoot up to your hairline, "Well it's not all of them , but it's definitely a lot." you look up from the phone to Bucky, "Can I give some advice?"

"Please, I'll take anything you can give me," he replies desperately.

You hop onto the washing machine and hold up his phone, "Okay. These apps are usually for the older crowd. Like thirty five and up, so if you're not picky about age, feel free to keep these. Now, these apps are what the younger generations use. Tinder is usually for hook ups, one night stands and all that. Not many people take Tinder seriously. Bumble, is a level up from Tinder. You'll find people who are more serious about finding a relationship with also a mix of people looking for something casual. Hinge, I think, is a level up from Bumble. You don't see people's typical lame ass bios, but their answers to some fun questions, what kind of relationship they're looking for, if they smoke or do drugs, etc. Also, I'm not sure if you know this, but you can change the age range on all of these apps. So instead of having it from 18 to 50, you can narrow it so 25 to 35 or however you want."

You look at Bucky and see his brows are furrowed in...concentration? Confusion?

"Was that too much? Do I need to slow down?"

He shook his head, "No, no, that's not it. Um, thanks, Y/N," he shoots you a grateful grin and you smile back, "No problem, Bucky." You see the gears turning in his head and you ask a question, he might be scared to ask you, "Do you want me to help you find some potential dates?"

"Will you?" he asks in that same desperate tone from earlier.

Again, you put on a smile, despite your breaking heart, "Sure!"

You tap on Hinge, double checking on his preferences, and then going to the main page.

"Oh! Look here. She's a single mom, but she's also a nurse. On the weekends, you're most likely going to find her wine drunk and watching movies with her kids. She has pets. She'd like to have more kids some day. She sounds nice. How 'bout it, Bucky?"

"Sure. She-She sounds good."

"Cool! So you tap on the heart on whatever thing on her page. So let's like her....answer here. If you want, you can comment something, but if not, you just forward it and hope to see that she'll like you back and you can start messaging her! Also, it looks like some people already like you! So you just tap on this icon here and you can scroll through the different people who've liked something on your page and it's up to you if you want to make contact or not."

Bucky hums and plucks his phone from your hands, "Wow. This-Thanks Y/N. This really helped."

"No problem, Buck! If you ever need more help, just let me know!" you hop off the washer and proceed to start up a load of laundry. You mind running back and forth about how you should shoot your shot, but you were too afraid of ruining the friendship you and Bucky have.

______________________

Bucky: Hey

You: What's up?

Bucky: can you come over? I need more help with this online dating situation.

You: sure!

You let your phone fall to your side with a sigh, Bucky has been asking for your help with his online dating for two weeks now and while you're always happy to help him, it just sucks seeing someone get his attention that you wish you had.

You roll out of bed, not caring about how you looked and exit your apartment, knocking on Bucky's door.

He swings open to reveal him in a tight blue henley and some black jeans, "Hey!" he shoots you a grin and moves aside to let you in, "So, um, this girl, Janine. We've been messaging for a few days now and she wants to meet up. Is that too soon? And where should I take her? I've," he pauses to chuckle to himself, "I haven't dated since the forties so..."

Despite your feelings for him, you knew Bucky deserved to be happy, especially after all the shit he's gone through.

"Hm, well, what kind of vibes are you getting from her?"

"Vibes?"

"Yeah, um, what feelings do you get when you talk to her? Do you feel happy? Do you want to get to know her more?"

"Uh, yeah, I suppose so. I think it'd be nice to meet her in person and get to know her more face to face."

"Then yeah, take her out. But since it's your first time meeting her in person, it should be something casual. Low key, no pressure. A decent restaurant or a bar is probably best."

Bucky nods, "Yeah. Okay. Um, do you think you could help me pick something out?"

You can't help but laugh, "Bucky, I'm sure whatever you choose to wear, you'll be fine."

"Okay. Thanks, Y/N," he slowly wraps his arms around you for a hug, but not too tight in case you're uncomfortable. You surprise him by hugging him back, giving him a little squeeze, "You're welcome, Bucky."

It was Saturday and you didn't have work. You friends asked you to hangout with them, but you didn't want to. You wanted to stay holed up in your apartment, wallowing because Bucky would be going on his date with Janine tonight.

You're mindlessly watching tv , curled up on the couch. You turn your face into the pillow and scream in frustration. You should've just asked him out when you had the chance, but now that chance is gone.

You groan as you roll off the couch and head to your balcony. You just need some fresh air. You push up your window and climb onto the metal balcony. You sit on the outdoor chair you have there and stare up into the night sky. The stars are twinkling, the moon is shining. It looks like a perfect night for a date and here you are, alone.

"Hey-"

"AAAHHH!" you scream by the sudden appearance of Bucky on his own balcony. You're staring at him wide eyed, hand on your chest.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh at your expression, "Sorry."

You shake your head and stand to meet him, "It's fine. What're you doing here? I thought you were on your date."

"Yeah, uh, turns out Janine didn't, what phrase did you use once, pass the vibe check?"

You snort, covering your mouth as you giggled. Bucky's smile grows at the sound and you pull yourself together, "Um, yeah that's it. But I'm sorry."

He shrugs, leaning against the railing, "Honestly, it's okay. I don't think the online dating thing is really for me. I think I'll probably stick to the old fashion way: meeting in person and asking them out on a date."

"That's understandable," you say with a nod.

"So how 'bout it?"

You look at him confused, "How 'bout what?"

"Do you wanna go on a date sometime?" you give a look of surprise and Bucky immediately adds, "But I totally understand if you don't want to. I just-you're nice, and beautiful, and funny I thought maybe-but we're friends so I totally understand if you don't-"

"No, no. Bucky, I just-I'd love to go on a date with you."

"Yeah?" You nod and he holds out his hand, "Come on then."

You give a nervous chuckle, "What?"

"I picked up a pizza after that disastrous date. We can eat and watch a movie. Casual and no pressure, right?"

You look from his striking blue eyes to his outstretched glove hand. You reach out to place your hand in his but then pull back, "Wait. I should probably change."

You step back to head back into your apartment, but Bucky grabs your hand, "You don't have to. You look great."

You chuckle and begin to climb from your railing to Bucky's, with his help, "Alright, Prince Charming. I expect to be wooed tonight."

"Of course you do, which is why I ordered pizza from your favorite place and I'm letting you pick the movie we watch."

"Bucky Barnes, I could kiss you!" you exclaim thoughtlessly but then you realized what you just said. You shook your head and began to ramble off excuses, "No no! I mean not now! Now that I don't want to kiss you. You're very kissable. Not that I imagine kissing you or anything it's just-"

Bucky leans in and gives you a little peck on the cheek, "I don't kiss until after the date's over, doll. So will that suffice for now?"

You could feel your cheeks heating up as you nodded and squeaked out, "Yup!"

He chuckled, taking your hand in his again and leading you to the couch where the pizza was waiting for you.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #fem!reader #fatws spoilers #falcon and the winter soldier

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oddnub-eye · 3 years

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The Emer Post

Emer, wife of Cú Chulainn, is fucking rad. Personally, she’s one of my favorite characters in the Ulster Cycle, tied only with Cú Chulainn himself. And this makes sense, given that, at least in my readings, they seem to parallel each other in several ways.

The build up to the introduction of Emer seems to emphasize this, “Cuchulaind said that no woman should go with him but she who was his equal in age and shape and race, and skill and deftness, who was the best handworker of all the maidens in Erin”. The buildup to Emer emphasizes that she is more or less “his equal in her own fields”. Where Cú Chulainn has established himself as the best of the best of warriors, he seeks a wife who is the best of the best among them, with Emer fulfilling those conditions. Their actual “introductions” parallel each other. Emer is introduced with her foster-sisters, the daughters of the lords around Forgall’s dun. She appears to be the leader of the group, as she is teaching them, teaching being a position that implies more experience, or superiority. This is similar to how Cú Chulainn’s interactions with the boy-troop of Ulster is described in The Boyhood Deeds of Cú Chulainn; Cú Chulainn defeating all the other boys in the games they play, and taking them under his protection, proving himself to be the best of the bunch. They both, at separate points, are established as “the best” of their given fields and the best among their peers.

This shared superiority in their fields and abilities is reaffirmed in Bricriu’s Feast. While the major plotline and events of the story focus around Cú Chulainn fighting over the “Champion’s Portion” with Conall Cernach and Loegaire, Emer competes with their wives in a battle of words to try and claim who is the best. Emer takes the opportunity to assert her superiority and that she is the “the standard of women, in figure, in grace, in wisdom; None my equal in beauty, for I am a picture of graces...”. As if to be a visual metaphor of Emer winning, where Conall and Loegaire lift one of the building's pillars to allow their wives to enter the house, Cú Chulainn lifts the entire house off its foundations, “till the stars of heaven were to be seen under the wattle.”

Emer, however, did not view Cú Chulainn in the same favor or equivalence that he saw in her. When Cú Chulainn approached her for marriage, she did not immediately agree to his conditions, laying her three famous marriage conditions, “until he has killed a hundred men at every ford from Scenmenn ford on the river Albine, to Banchung - the “Woman’s Yoke” that can hold a hundred”, “until he has done the feat of the salmon-leap carrying twice his weight in gold, and struck down three groups of nine men in one stroke, leaving the middle man of each nine unharmed,” and “who hasn’t gone sleepless from Samain, when summer goes to its rest, until Imbolc, when the ewes are milked at spring’s beginning.”

She does come around after Cú Chulainn agrees to attempt to fulfill these conditions, even shooting down her father’s attempts to marry her off to Lugaid. She also marries Cú Chulainn after he fulfills her marriage conditions.

Arguably, Emer’s shining moment as a character comes in Serglige Con Culainn, otherwise known as The Wasting Sickness of Cú Chulainn. Which seems strange at the outset, considering that it's arguably the story where she’s at her most unlikable. Most versions of Serglige Con Culainn you can find are pieced together from two separate tellings, with the role of “Emer” being filled by the woman Ethne in the first half. However, Emer begins to be used in the back half as the primary character, and arguably is the protagonist over Cú Chulainn for this portion of the story. And in this half after Emer starts being used, much of her actions don’t come off as those of a particularly likable or even those of a character we would deem as “in the right”; for the some-odd year her husband has been suffering wasting sickness, she’s not been by his side (Ethne was described as such, but Emer explicitly needs to be fetched from Emain Macha by Laeg), she shames Laeg (who traveled to the otherworld to seek information about curing Cú Chulainn) for not returning with a cure, she badmouths the Ulsterman who had stayed by Cú Chulainn’s side for not fixing the problem, she shames Cú Chulainn for “lying prostrate for a woman’s love” despite knowing their was fae bullshit and involved, and then, in probably the crowning moment of “what the fuck” in the story, despite spurring Cú Chulainn to go to Fand, and knowing full well that Fand both beat wasting sickness into her husband and that Fand wants to marry Cú Chulainn, reacts rather violently when she finds out about the tryst between Fand and Cú Chulainn.

Let me repeat this for emphasis. Emer knows that Fand wants her husband’s hand in marriage, having established that as a consequence of him doing what he needs to do to free himself from the wasting sickness, shames Cú Chulainn for having wasting sickness, sends him to Fand, and then reacts violently when all of that ends exactly how you think it does.

However, the interesting thing is, Emer is not portrayed as incorrect, foolish, or negative in any way for that. In fact, it is instead another thing meant to establish Emer as “the bestest wife”. She is “the hero” of this part of the story. In her debate with Cú Chulainn regarding Fand, Emer wins. She’s the one with the most iconic line of the story “Yet fair seems all that's red; seems white what's new alone; and bright what's set o'erhead; and sour are things well known…”

And this is because Emer isn’t actually meant to be the sole hero of this story. Indeed, we are supposed to sympathize with Fand in her plight as well. That is why the detail of Fand’s dissatisfaction in her marriage with Manannan is included. We are supposed to sympathize with Emer for Fand’s interference and her life, and her response to Fand’s status as a threat to her position, as well as sympathizing with the plight of Fand and how it isn’t necessarily wrong of her to seek Cú Chulainn. Fand’s love for Cú Chulainn is equated to Emer’s in the text, shown through both of their attempts to yield him to the other. Likewise, both Emer and Fand are established as “ideal wives”, described as having the traits of one, for the sake of both Cú Chulainn’s arguments to Emer, and to further drive home how both Fand and Emer are meant to be viewed as sympathetic. It is something that is driven home even further when Fand confronts Manannan, reminding him of her status as “the bestest wife” echoing Emer’s assertion to Cú Chulainn during the actual conflict of the story.

A minor thing that’s intriguing about this is how it almost seems to mirror the “myth moral gap” that is present in so many other stories about ancient heroes. The values these heroes adhere to are different from ours, and this is present across nearly all ancient stories. Emer and Fand’s “hero-like” position in this tale proves no different; beating wasting sickness into the object of your affection, shaming your partner for getting his ass beat, badmouthing the people who stayed by his side when you did not would hardly be considered behaviors of a “good” partner, much less supposedly the “best of the best”. But, they are not framed as slights against Emer or Fand within Serglige Con Culainn.

Emer is fucking rad. She’s a pretty interesting character, via her parallels to Cú Chulainn and her proactivity across various stories; even appearing as what could be described as “the hero” of a few of them. Fair is the plain indeed, as Emer stands above several of her compatriots in the Ulster Cycle in terms of interest and being pretty damn awesome.

Source List:

Early Irish Myths and Sages; Jeffery Gatz

The Tain; Thomas Kinsella

Fled Bricrend (The Feast of Bricriu); George Henderson

The Wooing of Emer by Cu Chulainn; Kuno Myer

The Sickbed of Cu Chulainn; Maelmuiri mac Ceileachair

#ulster cycle #celtic mythology #emer #cu chulainn #i love this woman #fand #serglige con culainn #fled bricrend #bricriu's feast #the wooing of emer

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woogurl · 4 years

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so i decided to make a short analysis and i say short because i don’t know how short it’ll be.

this is in regards to the anon who said that kq seems to push woosan too much in choreos/taking pics together/high fives/etc.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not here to prove to you that these moments aren’t fanservice because as i mentioned before, that they often are. however, i do not think kq is always responsible for all these moments. i think they have many subtle moments that make me think otherwise.

i know when we think of fanservice moments, there’s no doubt that fake love

and this legendary, sensational ass performance tops them all.

now before we rid these moments as just fanservice, can we talk about how comfortable they are with doing this kind of stuff. yeh many group ships do fanservice, but understand that MOST do not go this far. Nor do they commit to this degree. even with korea’s culture, there are just some boundaries most of these men do not want to cross. let’s talk about a fanservice moment with nct, and use mark and johnny as an example. there’s a moment where they get very close and intimate during superhuman but they always seem very uncomfortable. at least mark does. he simply does not seem to like this type of intimacy with males. and that’s completely fine.

i also want to use nct as a whole as an example there’s many times where the company tries to get them to do fanservice but to no avail. they just laugh and joke around, and that’s because they see each other as brothers. i’m not referring to any specific ships. i simply mean in general. so the company makes them do fanservice but they’re not forced to “enjoy it or do it often”.

now let’s take a very intimate taejin moment didn’t want to do a popular ship for obvious reasons. sorry taejin shippers.

the intensity is there on tae’s side, but not jin. it just seems like he’s doing his job and giving the fans a bit of fanservice. there’s also a more intense taejin moment where there seems to be a lot of sexual tension, but i’m not convinced that there is because they’re obviously doing it for the camera. they’re both good actors so. i’m sure they could convince anyone that they have incredible chemistry and sexual tension.

but let’s be real, it’s not convincing when it’s obvious that they’re just giving their fans a show. so i can understand why people are like woosan are doing it for show. esp because unlike any other ship there’s so many woosan moments in their choreos and they just dance together so often. and i’m gonna assume the anon brought this up because there’s woosan moments in their newest song inception and fever. LET’S NOT EVEN MENTION THE LYRICS. now ateez is one of those groups who does a lot of fanservice in choreo’s in general, but they def use woosan to their advantage. why? because it’s such a popular ship, but so is seongjoong as i mentioned before. they could capitalize on seongjoong as well, but their moments are often less organic when they do do fanservice. like i said they don’t pretend to enjoy it. hongjoong is very open about his disgust with skinship. so no i don’t think kq forces woosan to pretend to enjoy it. i think they just genuinely enjoy the fanservice.

so let’s take some subtle moments during woosan choreo’s.

now, this iconic moment was during random play dance in budapest and it isn’t actually apart of any choreo, but mind you seonghwa and mingi were supposed to do a couple dance as punishment. but was like fuck fanservice. well they did give us a different type of fanservice hip thrusts. while woosan was basically like...

can u see the difference in atmosphere, like woosan didn’t have to do anything but they started dancing as if they were really at a club. san was literally eye-fucking woo and biting his lips and shit like damn. lmfao.

woo of course was like okay, that’s enough and pointed to mingi and seonghwa, u prob can’t see because it’s hard to capture but if u watch the vid u’d see woo was like. “ok, das enough, pay attention to mingi and seonghwa”. san was really feeling it tho. enfen.

next moment was during the expedition tour in lisbon. they were doing a random play dance.

first of all i didn’t even know this moment existed. someone pointed it out in a dm. @ 1:48 there was a lot of tension between woo and san. it was just a random moment during the play dance. the way they looked at each other and san flicked woo’s chin. oomph. HONGJOONG WAS NOT HAVING IT and quickly intervened. san was lowkey mad at hj.

in the end, woosan ended back up together, despite being separated.

anyway next moment during Random Dance in Milan (Magazzini Generali). they were dancing to monsta x shoot out and woo wanted him and san to do it together. so he went the opposite way of everyone else.

at this point woo and san were trying to find a way to properly interact with each other but it was so messy because everything was unplanned. they were so attentive to each other that when jongho came and asked them to do the second verse(?) move they just ignored the poor baby. ‘cause they obv had other plans.

jongho ended up doing it by himself while woosan continued with their own plans. ooOOP.

woo wanted to do another song with san, and i guess he wanted them to do the same thing i’m not sure, but san looked just as confused as well. but he did his best in doing what i guess he figured woo wanted him to do. he was up for it tho, he was like what is it? i’ll do it. xD. i know some of y’all are like btch get a youtube channel so we could see the moments better. but idk how to do utubesokey;c

woo ended up getting shy and embarrassed for some reason and san was quick to comfort him. it was super sweet.

next moment is the Random Play Dance in Berlin. Where they were both shyly dancing to twice. They didn’t know what to do, or at least was too shy to do it so san just grabbed woo and started dancing with him. It was another cute moment.

the entire time they were just planning on what they should do together, and san literally waited on woo to see what he wanted to do because woo often takes initiative in general between the two of them. they would just constantly keep touching each other and looking at each other. he was so attentive to woo that he wasn’t paying attention to yunho and seonghwa dancing so jongho and woo both had to point at them so san would turn his attention there. lol.

san’s attention was still mostly on woo because he grabbed him to dance with. what i’ve noticed during these random play dance moments during tour is that they absolutely love interacting with each other, touching and keeping their attention on each other. it would be foolish to think they’re forced to act that way 24/7 because of kq. they react this way because they’re naturally close to each other and are okay with psychically being close to one another.

next moment is the Random Play Dance in Atlanta.

yes, it does include the famous fake love woosan dance, but i still think it’s valid because as i’ve said before they’re incredibly comfortable with these types of interactions. also would like to mention how attentive san is to woo once again. for the most part his attention is mainly on woo if you pay attention to him closely.

next the Warsaw ATEEZ My Way SAN focus, san was incredibly attentive to wooyoung. san locks eyes with woo multiple times. i’m just gonna highlight obv moments.

0:45

2:12

NEXT. let met just say 181118 was a glorious fansign.

Pirate King SAN focus the moment at 1:36 during pirate king where san was like, 'c'mere' to woo.

the moment at 2:22-24 where he was trying to get woo's attention but woo's focus was elsewhere.

the moment at 2:26 he really wanted woo's attention. crjkc j fjmk. that tongue tho mingi.

he then decides to use seonghwa to make woo jealous at 2:39.

he tried to get his attention again at 2:56.

let's talk about the my way cam too, that was full of subtle woosan as well.

not subtle, but still includes moments that isn't part of the org choreo.

once again san is so attentive to woo. if i haven't said this before san is so much more transparent than woo. and u can see that during these moments especially.

san all up in my man's space. sxdrcfgvbjkl

san being relatable. He's so focused on woo that the members have to push him to the correct spot.

anywaY the point is they enjoy these kind of things because they’re naturally close and intimate irl. so it makes their interactions looks completely natural and organic. so u don’t have to worry about them being ‘forced’ to do fanservice. ‘cause what woosan has is just something u can’t compare to another ship.

#ateez #wooyoung #san #woosan

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allaboutjoongi · 3 years

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Lee Joon Gi was named one of the ‘2020 Icons’ by Korean culture & art magazine ‘CULTURA’ in its December 2020 issue. It has two essays on Lee Joon Gi’s acting and his character Do Hyunsoo in Flower of Evil. And here’s my English translation.

2020 ICON – Drama Category, Actor Lee Joon Gi

Lee Joon Gi: Unexpected Charm, Hybrid Genre

by Joo Chan Ok (drama writer)

It’s been said that, although <King and the Clown> drew an audience of 10 million, the number is overhyped. The reasoning behind this is that many moviegoers watched it over 10 times to just see Lee Joon Gi and, when you take out the repeat viewings, it simply does not amount to 10 million. In a similar vein, there is this kind of gossip going around: Of those ’10-million audience’ movies, some are genuinely 10-million audience movies because there is no way anyone would have watched those pieces of **** more than once; that those were truly watched by 10 million individuals. I will not say what movies ‘those’ refer to.

For my part, I only watched <King and the Clown> once. Since it has been quite a long time, I do not remember with whom I went to watch it. My only recollection is that I was impressed by the unexpected baritone voice of that beautiful man Gong-gil the moment he opened his mouth.

The charm of Lee Joon Gi lies in that unexpectedness.

First of all, he has mysterious eyes. He has monolids, which lends his slanted eyes sharpness. Most beautiful men are just beautiful, whether when they smile or when they keep their mouths closed. But Lee Joon Gi has many different feels to him.

When he smiles, he looks like an innocent pretty boy who is prettier than any woman. But when he keeps his mouth closed and becomes expressionless, he comes off as cold and heartless. That expression on his face can make him look like an assassin or even a murderer. Or should I say that he can not only be many different things but he can also swing back and forth between extremes?

In <King and the Clown>, <My Girl> and the pomegranate drink commercial, Lee Joon Gi projected a feminine or androgynous image. When you search ‘Lee Joon Gi cigarette’ on YouTube, it shows videos of Lee Joon Gi smoking a cigarette where he looks incredibly sexy. They do not look like scenes from a movie or a drama, but those of his everyday life.

On the other hand, in <Iljimae>, <Gunman in Joseon>, <Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo>, and <Lawless Lawyer>, he pulls off action performances in his outbursts of masculine energy. Then, finally, in <Flower of Evil>, his facial expressions blossom into a hybrid of different genres, as he switches from happy and loving husband and father to cold-hearted psychopath that sends chills down your spine.

Drama <Flower of Evil> aired on tvN from July through September this year.

In it, Lee Joon Gi plays a psychopath whose real name is Do Hyun Soo but who lives under the false identity of Baek Hee Seong. A psychopath!

Psychopaths, or sociopaths, have become commonplace in Korean dramas. At first, they took root as serial killers in police procedurals; recently, they have evolved into ‘psychopathic protagonists.’ Among them is Cho Seung Woo, who can’t feel emotions in <Stranger>; another recent example is Joo Won in <Alice> – although, unbelievably, Joo Won’s character bursts into violent sobs when his mother dies.

When those psychopaths actually commit crimes, it becomes simple for the actors. Because, then, it all comes down to how cruel they should make their characters look. Of course, ‘simple’ acting does not mean it is easy. Actors say, while it depends on the person, shooting such scenes [committing crimes] is so demanding they even suffer a mental breakdown.

The protagonist of <Flower of Evil> is such a difficult psychopath for an actor to play. Lee Joon Gi [as Do Hyun Soo] practices smiling naturally while looking in the mirror and puts on the mask of a caring father and husband. At least that is what he believes himself to be – appearing caring while feigning happiness. He believes himself to be a psychopath because his father was a real psychopath.

However, it does not sum up easily as: “It turns out, he is in fact a nice guy.” For a long time, Do Hyun Soo has hidden or repressed emotions and lived a life of lies, which has rendered him emotionally dead inside. That’s why he has become a ‘psychopath.’ This character has several layers of consciousness like an onion, or a pie with its layers coming off softly. In Episodes 15 and 16, in particular, he gets portrayed in even more diverse ways – by none other than actor Lee Joon Gi, through his incredibly rich performance.

In Episode 15, Do Hyun Soo mistakenly believes his wife is dead because the real psychopath, played by Kim Ji Hun, says he killed Hyun Soo’s wife. From that point on, he turns into something akin to his psychopathic father. The actor ramps up the tension in his depiction of the moment when the murderer gene – which Hyun Soo has long been afraid he has in him – wakes up.

When Hyun Soo is about to kill Baek Hee Seong (Kim Ji Hun), he hears his wife calling his name – the wife he thinks is dead. This is when Lee Joon Gi exhibits an emotional variation that unfolds like a panorama: In moments of disbelief and shock, he doubts if his wife is really alive, and if he is seeing his dead wife (Cha Ji Won, played by Moon Chae Won) just as he sees his dead father, and then in a moment of relief, he finally starts walking towards Cha Ji Won and cries. He cries, just like a child, completely disarmed after having turned evil. It is a tremendous feat of concentration and such a riveting performance.

Episode 16 is so equally impressive it’s worth mentioning. Since we already saw an explosion of emotions in Episode 15, what follows could have been a relatively lackluster ending. Viewers have been disappointed time and again by dramas, whose tension-filled stories culminate in far-fetched endings of reconciliation, forgiveness, and life lessons of sorts.

Initially, I was a bit worried when the amnesia cliché appeared [in the last episode], but I was soon to put those worries to rest. The finale has just the right amount of time [Hyun Soo needed] to restore what makes us human in him, and it is a good enough ending for us to look deep into the human condition. The script is solidly written like a piece of literature, and the actor’s performance is such a rich and delicate manifestation of that writing.

Even with his memories coming back little by little, and with the people around him telling him about his relationships [to his loved ones], Do Hyun Soo still cannot trust himself. That’s because of the confusion he’s in – because, all his life, he has kept his true feelings deeply tucked away, and because he has never lived freely as himself, just the way he is. That is exactly what Lee Joon Gi has been showing. Finally, Hyun Soo accepts the fact that he was genuinely in love and happy when he was with his family. And it is the actor’s brilliant depiction of that moment when Hyun Soo starts to believe in himself that brings the drama to an end.

It has been 15 years since <King and the Clown> was released.

Maybe it is lucky for an actor to have such a career-defining character, but it can also be a trap. Yet, Lee Joon Gi seems to have already grown out of this impactful character Gong-gil, and he did it brilliantly. So now, why don’t we renew our expectations for this actor, Lee Joon Gi? What will he be look like when he gets older? How far could he possibly go?

Monthly Drama Review

Various Faces in Drama <Emotionless>

A Flower Named Lee Joon Gi

by Kim Min Jung (drama critic, professor at Chung-Ang University)

In 2017, <Stranger> received considerable attention for the birth of a new type of character in prosecutor Hwang Si Mok. A protagonist who dares to be ‘emotionless’ in Korean drama, a medium characterized by human bonding and humanism! It was indeed an astonishing event that caused a seismic shift in K-drama characters. Now, four years later, what’s happening in 2020 Korea? Four dramas, which aired around the same time, tout ‘emotionless’ characters as their protagonists.

This small ball of seeds that Hwang Si Mok in <Stranger> started rolling gathers more momentum through Go Moon Young, from <It’s Okay to Not Be Okay>, and finally turns into an attractive, fully-bloomed flower through Do Hyun Soo in <Flower of Evil>. Although the latest addition to this trend, Park Jin Gyeom in <Alice>, seems to have veered off course, there seems to be a consensus that 2020 has been the year of ‘emotionless’ characters. These ‘emotionless’ characters continue to broaden their spectrum as they draw viewers in with their respective idiosyncrasies and charms spanning across diverse genres, from police procedurals to romance, thriller, and science fiction.

Hwang Si Mok, from <Stranger>

By now, in 2020, it’s safe to say there are about four ways to defeat evil in Korean dramas: First is the classic strategy of pitting ‘good’ against evil. Second is the dialectical strategy of turning to a character who has become an evil monster for the sake of good. Prosecutor Lee Chang Joon, who basically carried Season 1 of <Stranger>, is the quintessential example of this ‘dialectical’ character that deliberately puts himself in harm’s way by walking into the den of evil to fight government-business collusion and corruption. He’s the scapegoat of our era and the product of our collective tragic view of reality: that good alone cannot defeat evil. Now, third is the last resort you use when you really have no other choice. That is, the “fight fire with fire” strategy of using another villain that’s even more powerful than your main villain. You can find a great example in drama <Bad Guys> (2014).

But it ain't over till it's over. We have another creation that’s given birth to by those creators who carefully reasoned that evil cannot possibly be defeated by humanity – hence the emergence of the ‘emotionless’ character. This is an AI-esque character created to deliver justice; a non-human human who is completely deprived of all human qualities. The first three character types exist on the boundaries between good and evil, have beating hearts, and do as their hearts tell them. On the other hand, this fourth ‘emotionless’ character cannot feel emotions and lacks empathy. Hwang Si Mok, who underwent a surgery that left him emotionless, works to serve justice by diligently performing the duties assigned to him. He represents a ‘cold’ type of justice, which he tries to deliver, not out of some sense of duty, but because it’s his job. The kind of justice he seeks exists outside of the system of dualistic good/evil thinking.

Since he can’t feel emotions, he isn’t afraid of anything. For him, there is no sacred ground he can’t step on when it comes to fighting injustice. In Season 2, in 2020, his notion of ‘cold’ justice extends to the inside of the system, namely, the prosecutors and the police responsible for crime investigations. With the government and police at loggerheads over investigative authority, Hwang Si Mok aims his gun at both the police and prosecutors that both employ unlawful methods to achieve their goals. To defend the prosecutors’ power, elite prosecutor Woo Tae Ha tampers with an investigation and tries to stop Si Mok, saying because of Si Mok’s dogged pursuit of justice, prosecutor Lee Chang Joon committed suicide. Still, Si Mok won’t budge but pushes ahead with his investigations. At this point, I think we might as well call Hwang Si Mok a living AI robot.

Go Moon Young, from <It’s Okay to Not Be Okay>

If Hwang Si Mok’s emotionless character is the sort of strong-willed ‘hero’ about to save Korean society from the evil of corruption, then Go Moon Young in <It’s Okay to Not Be Okay> is only a pitiful ‘grown child,’ who grew up in the hands of her overbearing psychopathic mother and hearing curses from her father that she would become a monster like her mother.

While living in solitude as an “empty can with no emotions,” without knowing what love or friendship is, Go Moon Young meets brothers Moon Gang Tae and Moon Sang Tae, ends up living with them, and learns how to connect with other people. Living with her new family of sorts, she manages to get rid of the negative self-concept that her parents planted in her, find her own identity, and grow up to be a real grownup. In the drama, her emotionless character represents not an absence, i.e. lack of emotion, but a blank space to be filled with possibilities – in other words, she symbolizes hope and dreams as a ‘recovering human being.’

Go Moon Young asks Moon Gang Tae: “What do you mean, I’m a child?” Moon Gang Tae looks right into her eyes, as if the answer is obvious, saying: “Of course you are. It’s so obvious you’re seeking people’s approval.” Moon Gang Tae, who warmly embraces Go Moon Young, isn’t just a caretaker at a psychiatric ward for nothing. Who hasn’t experienced psychological pain? Who doesn’t want to be loved? Through this sad, aching soul Go Moon Young, the ‘emotionless character’ transforms from an extraordinary hero into an ordinary face that we have, from an agent of catharsis into an ‘aching soul’ persona that leaves us with lingering feelings. Oh, we are so in need of romance.

Do Hyun Soo, from <Flower of Evil>

Owing to actor Lee Joon Gi’s otherworldly performance, Do Hyun Soo in <Flower of Evil> exhibits such an amazing character growth that starts with ‘nothingness,’ as in, his lack of emotion, and expands into ‘infinity’ in which that space of ‘nothingness’ can be filled with anything precisely because it’s been empty of emotion. Those variations of the ‘emotionless character’ – from Hwang Si Mok to Go Moon Young, and to Do Hyun Soo – are all packed in this one person, Do Hyun Soo.

Falsely accused and wronged, Do Hyun Soo is relentless and unstoppable in his search for the real killer with his characteristically expressionless face, as prosecutor Hwang Si Mok does. At one moment, he breaks into a journalist’s home and the next, he’s hanging precariously from an apartment balcony. He even negotiates with human traffickers and puts his own life on the line to meet this real serial killer. His recklessness in executing his plans, though, helps him successfully catch the serial killer before the police do.

He also identifies his feelings and learns to love all the while chasing the real killer. What Moon Gang Tae is to Go Moon Young is exactly what his wife Cha Ji Won is to Do Hyun Soo. Seeing Ji Won embrace all of Hyun Soo’s wounds, he confides in her about his past and confesses his love in his heartwarming way: “I love you. You are an even weirder person than I am. Jiwon, you are the most inexplicable part of my life. So unreal.” Do Hyun Soo resembles Go Moon Young in that, even though he was raised by a psychopathic parent to be an emotionless person lacking empathy, he restores that ‘humanness’ in him by emotionally connecting with his lover.

In <Flower of Evil>, Do Hyun Soo even goes beyond that ‘cold justice’ in Hwang Si Mok and ‘aching soul’ in Go Moon Young, and becomes the ‘lone martyr’ in this age of barbarity and inhumanity. Early in the drama, he is depicted as a cunning psychopath who exploits people’s kind nature for his own advantage. But it turns out, it is actually Hyun Soo who has been exploited. The village head spreads the malicious rumor that he is a psychopath, and steals the money Hyun Soo’s father left behind. Emotionless, Hyun Soo does not feel wronged nor does he get angry. Rather, he accepts his fate, calm and unperturbed. He takes the blame for his sister’s killing of the village head, and comforts his sister who’s trembling in fear: “It’s Okay, because I don’t know how it feels.”

Hyun Soo does not become coldhearted and cruel because he is emotionless; instead, he willingly sacrifices himself. Watching him makes me reflect on myself and wonder if those emotions and empathy we have always talked about, as well as that customary expression “humane,” are probably much more based on self-centeredness and self-interest than we think. I wonder if Do Hyun Soo, who seems detached and free from all those joys, angers, sorrows, and pleasures, isn’t the ‘noble martyr’ who can sacrifice himself for others and society. A metal craft artist, Do Hyun Soo runs his workshop named “Where the Morning Star Stays.” In Greek mythology, there is an ugly god of metalworking. Everyone hates him, but he has a wife he loves. The place where his Venus, Morning Star, and loving wife stays. When Cha Ji Won takes Do Hyun Soo, who’s been hurt and persecuted because of the sins he didn’t even commit, and holds him in her warm embrace, she reminds me of the Virgin Mary holding the dead body of Christ after his crucifixion. If this isn’t your Michelangelo’s Pietà, then I don’t know what is.

I wondered if Lee Joon Gi’s remarkable acting talent has been underrated all these years because of his gorgeous looks, just as Do Hyun Soo’s innocent heart has been hidden beneath his expressionless face. Every single eye expression, every hand gesture, and every breath of his are so restrained, yet contain all of life’s joys, angers, sorrows, and pleasures. As I watch this marvelous irony of life – in which ‘nothingness’ expands into ‘infinity’ – come into bloom on his little face, I realize when and how our exhausting and shabby daily life can be elevated into art. Following the finale of the drama, actor Lee Joon Gi went live on Instagram, and fans from about 30 countries joined in, hoping to cherish the deep, lingering feelings that the drama left with them. Among them was this Korean, Kim Min Jung. Oh, Lee Joon Gi.

end.

#lee joon gi #이준기 #flower of evil #악의꽃 #do hyun soo #도현수

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Nightmare Time Episode 1 Review: The Hatchetfield Ape-Man/Watcher World

I take a look at the first episode of Starkid’s new show Nightmare Time! Starkid, returns for a zoomcast, bringing back the casts of both Hatchefield plays for an anthology series of science fiction double feature picture shows! This week’s tales of terror:

The Hatchefield Ape-Man: A british heiress gets romanced by a shaved bigfoot with the help of everyone’s favorite kooky college professor. Forgotten fiances, murder and described nudity naturally insue.

Watcher World: Bill and Alice return as Bill drags his daughter to a kitschy theme park for a day of family fun, which Alice enjoys and is as respectful about as much as you’d expect. As you’d also expect given Bill’s general luck, things take a turn for the Shining real quick. Spoilers and full review under the cut.

Well this was a nice suprise. With the ongoing pandemic I genuinely did not think Starkid would be back anytime soon. Having just gotten back into them this years after several years of forgetting they existed via the Hatchetfield plays, I was pretty bummed, if understanding. So last week’s announcment of not only this series but a full scripted series from their sister production company the tin bros was a HUGE shot of happy I needed in this troubling times. Still need to watch spies are forver love the soundtrack nto important.

Point is the Lang Brothers and their merry band of actors found a way to continue on via format I didn’t realize existed outside of table reads but is a nice way to do things: The Zoomcast, basically a podcast done live on zoom, with the actors in plainclothes for the most part, with one person, in this case Nick Lang, reading out descriptions of what’s going on. Being a starkid production this also has musical director Matt Bohm playing accompaniment and pretaped if still via the actor’s own camera musical numbers. Overall while i’ts an understandably cheap production, only what costumes the actors have on hand and most props mimed, it WORKS, allowing for way more elaborate set pieces than the stage would allow and is anchored by Lang’s impeccable descriptions and the cast’s amazing as always acting really making the stories pop. So things worked on a technical level despite having the barest of bones to work with. But did it work on a story level? Well yes, but if I ended my reviews with just that i’d have less than the 3 or 4 fans I do have, so without further ado, it’s nightmare time! The Intro:

Now normally in my reviews I don’t talk about the intro because I come in mid way or because I just didn’t think to. This is an exception since

A) I should be doing that anyway or at least when I cover a show’s first episode since intro’s are sometimes one of the most memorable parts of a show

B) It’s a full musical number that’s been stuck in my head since the trailer for this series and has now set up an apartment there. C) This series is a musical, if not to the same degree as the two plays before it, so it’d be weird NOT to talk about it’s signature song.

So with that out of the way the intro.. is fucking impressive. Seriously taking disparate videos with probably as much as the directions “Sing this part of the song and be kind of creepy or alluring or whatever” and making it really flow? Good work, both to the starkids for bringing their a game to it as always and to Nick and Matt really did a good job editing this together, musically and visually to be an abolute jawdrop. And somehow finding utterly stunning stock image animations that none of us realized were stock footage but still fit the tone perfectly. Just great stuff. Some stray notes: Mariah is absolutely stunning in both voice and apperance in this, John Matheson’s bit as paul was great, and Jeff Blim of course got a great bit with his always astounding hair blowing in the breeze with him at full high pitch. Just an utterly great intro, and for Starkid’s first series in over a decade, and really ever but semantics, they really brought it. Good stuff. Onto the actual episode content.

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man: Lucy, a british heiress played by Angela Giarratana, was saved by the legendary “Hatchefield Ape-Man”.. who apparently has a hyphen like spider-men because while sasquatches can do that. Point is she’s come back every year in the hopes of reuniting with her savior but has so far failed. But as Lucy prepares to leave from this year’s failed expedition, an old friend finally gives her what she needs... old friend to us to her she’s just some grey haired lunatic who showed up out of the mist. Which while accurate, dosen’t quite quantify everyone’s favorite playwright/college professor/murderous psychopath/composer.

Yes at long last Professor Hidgens has returned! I honestly didn’t expect the anthology to bring in such a huge fan faviorite so soon. I mean I expected returning characters, mostly because the project allows old faviorites to come back for their own stories or for the stars of the musicals to get a chance at a much happier ending... there’s a lot of potetial there. That and let’s face it “Jane’s a Car” is a pretty dead giveaway it’s going to be about Tom’s dead wife and Tim’s dead mother coming back in horrible mash up of christine and my mother the car. Maybe. I could be wrong. I also doubt many of you know what my mother the car is and to that I say it’s an old sitcom i’m honestly suprised I know exists and know nothing about other than the title and it being about a son’s mom’s ghost possesing his car apparently. Well that and it was the basis for this.

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Point is, while I expected some returns, I wasn’t expecting one this large and this bombastic so soon, but BOY was it welcome. So getting back on track after all that, HIdgens seemingly takes Lucy to meet her ape man, who goes by the name Klonk, played by everyone’s faviorite sexy caveman Joey Richter. Also it’s adorable he and Lauren share a streaming screen. I know practicality and all that but their engagment is genuinely a sweet thing to hear about at a time when the world’s going down the toilet fast. Fun Fact: I pegged the Ape-Man was either going to be Jeff or Joey, leaning towards Jeff, though given my love of Joey I wasn’t disapointed with him, especially with the twist... but I was EXASTIC to learn the answer was basically “Both.. kinda?”. But yeah Lucy soon bonds with the ape man, with HIdgens encouraging her since it’s more than he’s gotten out of Klonk in 11 months of looking after the guy, and this way they can get him to learn enough to decide what he wants for himself.

So a few months, and some romantic bonding between woman and ape-man, pass but a wrench is thrown into Klonk’s wooing and attempt to tell lucy he loves her: Jonathan, Lucy’s just now mentioned fiance and royal dickhead played by Kurt Mega. And credit where it’s do whlie he clearly didn’t have to dress up, he did have a nice 50′s monster movie british person suit he put on. Lucy is now conlficted and what not even though Jonathan is kind of an asshole who just wants to drag her back home. And i’ts not like Lucy didn’t keep in touch: she sent him texts and probably called, so i’ts not like he didn’t know she was here. He’s also a hunter for extra dick points as if he needed them. Naturally when meeting his romantic rival he’s a dick.. but raises some valid questions: While Hidgens claim he shaved Konk due to lesions, there’s no mark of lesisons or the shaving. But his natural dickheadedness shines through and Jonathan talks about shooting Klonk before lucy takes his ring off and throws it and Jonathan goes after her. Annnnd yeah turns out the disposable dickhead fiance for once is RIGHT. In a twist I did not remotley see coming but damn if it wasn’t clever, Klonk.. is Ted from TGWDLM and the plan was to seduce lucy with this con, marry her and then bump her off. It’s a hell of a twist and cleverly hidden since Joey’s such a starkid mainstay, it’s not a huge suprise he was Klonk and thus easily hid the fact he was also Ted. It’s clever stuff and pivots the story nicely.

Ted is naturally a douchey as ever, going along with Hidgen’s plan to have him marry lucy then kill her and take her dough for themselves.. and unsuprisingly, so Hidgens can get Workin Boys off the ground. Granted there are easier ways to do this with the same scooby doo scheme: Just have HIdgens plan working boys casually, have Klonk really love it and being the sweetheart she is LUcy would fiance the thing just to make them both happy. I mean he can still marry her and ted can still have direct acess to her money if they want, it’s just an easier way that dosen’t shine supscion on the caveman who looks exactly like a local douchebag who everyone he’s met would testify against him. I mean would Paul and Bill REALLY be that suprised that Ted did this?

Exactly. Then again neither of our “heroes’ Here is very bright, and this scheme only works because Lucy is clearly very sweet, very naive, and very much wants a romantic evening with an ape man after all this time and effort searching, so she wants to believe him. So the fact the best they could come up with is something out of Scooby Doo is unsuprisng but still great. However things take a turn for the

Pretty quick as Hidgens takes disposable british douche fiance hunting.. then kills the guy after freely admiting he’s a fraud in what’s an INCREDIBLY chilling scene. Seriously it’s amazing how Robert takes a character as loveably redicilous, even his evil and murderous plan during TGWDLM was still hilariously rediclous, and makes him UTTERLY TERRIFYING. Even when dropping my fair lady refrences. Amazing stuff. So the next day, after Konk “asks” what an engagment is and what not, we then get Lucy wondering just WHERE jonathan is and we get the second biggest laugh of the night as Hidgens gives us the iconic line of “Oh he left... said something about you being crazy and going back to london and basically to go fuck yourself. “. Naturally Lucy has followup questions and goes to find out while Ted, also naturally, isn’t exactly pleased when he finds out his partner in crime did a murder on someone.

Ted may be a sleazy dickhead.. but even he sees maybe murdering a rich british person who just came here, went basically ONLY to this one location, and whose probably got many people who will misss him, one of whom is their primary target, is kinda dumb. Then again this is a plan that hinges on someone who could easily be identified, as he has or at least probably had an office job and three coworkers who know him, assuming a false identity to marry someone for their money. But again we’re dealing with a guy who thinks working boys is marketable to anyone who isn’t a starkid, and a moron who soon says he does his best thinking while erect. They only got this far because their target REALLY wants to fuck a sasquatch, is sweet but naive and well Ted IS still joey richter, and no longer has the porn stache so there you go. Ted decides to cut Hidgens out of things.. partly because you know, he killed a person, and partly because instead of killing Lucy, Ted realized he honeslty has a LOT to gain by simply marrying her and staying married. He gains a hot rich wife (his word’s not mine, but angie is genuinely beautiful so fair point), a mansion, and while Hidgens points out the obvious, he has to stay Konk.. that’s actually appealing to Ted as he feels better as Konk, not just because he impresses an attractive woman for doing basic stuff, but because he feels better as Konk. This is.. an intresting turn for Ted i genuinely like. It shows that Ted may, as much as he presents with bluster and ego, actually LIKE the kind of shithead he knows he is. I mean looking at his life he has two workmates who calling them friends is a bit of a stretch, and one who he’s having an affair with but seems detemrined to make her doomed marriage to an even bigger asshole work. He really dosen’t have much as ted so it’s easy to see why being Konk is better: He’s a better person as him who actually has someone who cares about him. Naturally Hidgens takes this as well as you’d expect and when Ted/Konk tries proposing he goes with the logical option for taking the fourtune for himself:

Yes really. Hidgens strips naked, and swings his arms around like an orangutan to try and convince Lucy he’s the real hatchetfield apeman. Sadly this dosen’t mean we get a shirtless robert manion as he needs to keep the turtleneck on for later, but the mental image.. I had to pause the video for a good minute to laugh over it. Just everything about it from it somehow being a dumber plan than his scheme this episode, to the orangutan swaying to just.. everything. It’s fucking genius. But Higdens has more than a mighty penis to compete with Ted.. he reveals ted’s phone and Ted ends up revealing himsef by telling Hidgens to go fuck himself. Naturally Lucy is distraught and tries to leave and the professor pulls out his shotgun to threaten her into financing his musical because of course it’s about workin boys. Lucy tries to run, Hidgens tries to shoot.. and ted , doing the first good thing in his entire life, takes the bullet. Lucy gets ted out of there then locks the door behind them, and we get the SCARIEST bit in this segment as Hidgens leans into the camera, simulating the peep hole of the vault door to the ape man inclosure and begs her to let him out. It’s some real Jack Nicholson in the Shining stuff and it’s utterly terrifying, but it’s also an amazing bit of acting. Nice job Rob. So ted bleeds out, as much as Lucy wants to save him he knows he’s not going to make it and prefers to die as Konk, finally happy with himself. And I just realized everyone at Paul’s job is horribly miserable. I mean good god, Paul himself has serious depression issues judging by “Let it Out”, Ted clearly hates himself, Charlotte is in a horrible marriage and Bill just got out of one and has a strained realtionship with his daughter we’ll get into more in a bit. I mean honestly, Mr. Davidson is the only one of them who really dosen’t need therapy.. he just needs to tell his wife he wants her to choke him while he jerks off. For as ungodly hilarious as that line is he’s probably the most well adjusted person there. Go figure.

Naturally being already insane, Hidgens breaks out, still naked mind, and chases after Lucy. Also noticable is apparently some people thought hidgens was manipulated by the blue shit hive mind in TGWDLM. Which.. no. I do love the guy dont’ get me wrong.. but it was very obvious both from the way his musical number was done compared to the rest of the ones in the musical, and his actions that was entirely him, and his playing the music was so he could join, especially since we don’t see the hive mind use any mind manupluation on anyone else. Regular manipulation sure as seen with you tied up my heart and not your seed, manipulating charoltte into freeing her asshole husband so he could infect her and torturing bill for funsies. Just something to get out of the way. Point is he was always crazy we just now have him chasing an innocentish woman with his dong hanging out to prove it. He eventually catches her as Lucy catches herself in one of his bear traps when she hits the woods, because he had those for some reason.. and he has a resonable way out: Just give her the 30,000 dollars he needs for his musical. Thing is she dosen’t have the money.. or hardly any. She spent all of it trying to find the ape man and was marrying jonathan for his money and him for her title. And while it is a bit skeezy, it’s very clear both were using each other and likely knew it, and Lucy still comes out the most moral of our cast here.. granted it’s not a big stretch as hidgens is criminally insane, ted’s a skeeze and Jonathan.. well he’s just a diiiiiiccckkkk. It’s not hard is what i’m saying.. much like hidgen’s dick flopping around in the rain. But yeah he dosen’t take it well, Lucy goes up a tree, which is apparently something Becky did once. But before Lucy can die at the hands of a naked thespian, the REAL Ape-Man shows up and tears Hidgen’s arms off, taking lucy in his own arms afterwords and revealing he remembers her. The two hit it off instantly, it turns out his name is chumby in an excellent gag as that was what Hidgens wanted his fake ape man to be named but Ted froze, and go off into the night together. Awww.. what if a naked ape man played by my boy jeff blim and a british person can’t work who can?

We then close out the segment with a cameo appearance by Jamie Lynn Beatty, who while not part of the cast for this double feature, does get a fun showtune about the ape man. Also fun fact that i found out here on tumblr: That costume is from something Jamie did in HIGH SCHOOL. As in well over a decade ago. Like holy shit, good for her. She looks great in it. But yeah it’s a fun song and a nice way to close it out. Final Thoughts on the Hatchetfield Ape-Man: This was a great way to start things off. This one was more in line with starkids pre-hatchetfield work, a goofy story with some hidden depth inside. And like the guy who didn’t like musicals it was utterly terrifying in spots so yeah good stuff ,utterly hilarous and a great way to bring back some old faviorites while giving us a neat new protaganist. Good stuff.

Watcher World:

Now from a mostly comedy with a horrifying ending to just.. pure unfiltered horror and depression! It’s Watcher World! Bill and Alice are back! And given I love Mariah Rose Faith and Corey Dorris, I was exastic to find this was what the second segment was about.. mostly because I had no idea Starkid had teasers for the episodes on their instagram, or I would’ve known Hidgens was coming. I wouldn’t of known he’d be stark naked for the last third of his story but still, pleasant surprise.

So Bill and Alice are spending the day at Watcher World, a run down amusement park on the edge of town. It’s Alice’s last weekend before College so Bill’s trying to reconnect with her by cramming a good old fashioned family vacation down her throat. Alice is less than enthused, both because she clearly resents her dad in general, and because Deb is throwing a huge rager on the same night. My honest interpretation of that is that Deb fully inteded for her girlfriend to come but Bill sprung this on Alice at the last minute and being pretty oblivious and hating Deb, either didn’t care about taking alice from one last night with her friends and girlfriend or didn’t generally think that through. I mean don’t get me wrong normally i’d side with a parent not wanting their daughter to attend a huge teen rager on their last weekend together.. but it’s also Alice’s last weekend in town for some time, and it’s likely a saturday.. so he has another day, and presumibly had friday before this and while things with his ex wife are tense, fighting for an extra day with her would be understandable and i’ts not like Alice, even if she hates Bill, would really fight him on getting an extra day in the town she didn’t want to leave.

But that’s what I really like about this one that it’s layered. While Alice is slightly more in the right, she’s still shutting her dad out, refusing to let him follow her on instagram (though he does agree with her keeping it private as he dosen’t want Ted perving on her, which tracks, or Ted’s brother doing it which.. wait what?), and being on her phone the whole time to very clearly spite him and rub how much she dosen’t want to be there in her dad’s face. She dosen’t WANT to be at watcher world but instead of trying to talk to her Dad just wants to complain and apparenlty has on all their vacations.. it’s easy to see why Bill is annoyed by his daughter at times and thinks he has to FORCE HER to have fun with him, because otherwise she’d gladly ignore him for their entire weekends together for Deb. She’s so determined to punish her dad for the divorce, that she refuses to see on some level he IS trying, and is just sad about her leaving, and possibly leaving him forever and alone with nothing else in his life but his buddy Paul, whose getting married next week so that’s probably not helping. On the other hand the reason I say Alice is more in the right is that well.. Bill’s a grown ass men. And while, speaking for himself, grown ass men don’t always make the right decisions, and not speaking for myself neither do fathers... Alice’s acting out is understandable coming from an 18 year old whose been through hell over the last year, having her parents divorce being forced to move, loosing her friends. Bill however just kind of uses her age and angst as an excuse to undermine and belittle her feelings. Because he doesn’t like deb for the very stupid reasons of she does pot, instead of assuring her that Deb wouldn’t cheat on Alice with Deb’s former crush Zigg, starkid’s first non binary character in a nice show that Nick Lang wasn’t just covering his ass when he said there’d be more representation in starkid, which in his defense I didn’t doubt him on but it’s still nice he did so at the earliest opportunity and very clearly plans to use Zigg if he can find a nonbinary actor for them.

But yeah instead of assuring his daughter, Bill is just like “well sometimes relationships don’t work out” which while true is clearly his self serving way of trying to get Alice to break up with someone he dosen’t like. INstead of supporting her in her dreams of writing plays, one of which was good enough to get her a scholarship, he tries to act like she has no plans for her future and get her to be a doctor for more security, even though having a secure job has done.. no one at his office including him favors. I mean again, the most stable and happy person at the office is the guy in charge, and even he can’t tell his wife he wants her to choke him out at night. He wants her to choke him, he wants her to choke him while he jerks off, he wants her to choookeeee himmm while heeeee jerrrkssss offfff.

While part of this seems to be that Deb plans to be a starving artist who can mooch off her parents in a pinch, Alice GENUINELY seems to have a full plan for her life. I do get his worrying about her future.. but she’s a smart kid. A bit of a brat but she knows what she wants clealry and clearly has talent. He’s just projecting his own fears on her. He also refuses to accept any responsibility in the divorce.. his hating his ex wife IS valid, as she took his daughter away, uprooted her life a year before graduation and spends gobs of money on impressive outings, the latter two seemingly just to spite him when honestly, it’d of made more sense for Alice to stay with Bill for the year before she graduates and been better for her. However, Bill still doesn’t take responsibly that he too is shoving fun down her throat to try and win her over, hates her girlfriend and refuses to treat her with any respect, and really DOSEN’T know Alice all that well. As we learn during their fun day she has anxiety, and he never knew about it. And the divorce isn’t really an excuse when he had years before that. It’s the real problem of their relationship: Bill feels ENTITLED to a good father daughter relationship, but isn’t working at it and blames his ex wife or Alice for it instead of himself. While Alice isn’t an innocent as i’ve made clear, putting up walls and not telling dad things, given bill ignores her when she DOES try to tell him about her life, it’s easy to see she’s just given up. If he won’t listen why bother. Which yeah i’ve found myself there with my own dad from time to time. Bill’s not a bad person, he genuinely loves Alice, as he says “to the moon and back”, but it’s very clear from this outing he still loves the little girl who loved him unconditionally and not the complicated and mopey adult sh’es become, and dosen’t WANT to adapt to that and fears once she leaves for college she’ll avoid him for good, which isn’t unfounded. It’s a good, complex rich dynamic. Naturally with.. all this I covered up front instead of sprinkling it throughout, the day doesn’t go great, with Alice utterly miserable most of the time, and ending up in a goofy novelty t-shirt due to a log ride. She also has an unsettling encounter with park mascot Blinky, our newest adorable abomination, who not only shows up the moment she does something bad on camera but also stares at her ass, which.. Paul you mind coming back for a second?

Thank you. They end up at the Watch Party, a cheesy kids show musical because Bill apparently equates this with his daughter loving musicals. I mean granted cheesy kids stage shows can be rad just listen to this.

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But I get Alice’s annoyance here. Thus we get the return of the sniggles, who apparently serve whatever eldrich deity is around this week and our first song of this segment, The Blinky Song. Which is catchy as hell as well as hilariously dark (”I’m so hungry”), and uses the stock footage well, as I could buy a cheap theme park ran by an eldtirch eye goblin using stock footage. But yeah it establishes Blinky as always watching and kinda fucked up. Also the sniggles are now clearly the smurgs with Angie’s now being named Sniglette, Jeff being papa Sniggle and James being Snigglotts. However Sniglette considers leaving with another song with a long string of words. Then, things get.. dark as the rest of the sniggles don’t want her to leave and try and mob her, and then Papa Sniggle accidently wings her with a mallet and apparenlty injures the actual performer, before everyone’s ushered out and the usher pretends nothing happened. Good mind screw horror stuff.

Alice and Bill then bicker a bit with my above point being made as Alice TRIES to get Bill to accept some respoinablity but he refuses and blames her mom. It’s now time for the Tear-Jerker, the reason they came. Bill’s buddy Paul says someone died. They also find three other people waiting in line and when one goes to the bathroom the other two start making out which.. yeah, dosen’t help Alice’s worry Deb’s going to cheat on her. So she takes the first single rider pass she can, with Bill worming his way in as to not let her get away. The two naturally end up fighting on the Tear-Jerker before it stops up high, and ends up stalled, with the gloriously returning Nerdy Kid played by Joey from Black Friday being as helpful as usual. Seriously bless them for bringing him back. Man in a Hurry also showed up again, bless him too. Alice picks this time to reveal her fear of heights and anxiety, and an approaching storm isn’t helping. So Bill.. steps up. He helps ease Alice down taking her phone for her, if loosing it due tot he rain and helping her stay calm. It’s a REALLY nice portrayal of an anxiety attack, with Mariah herself apparently having them and thus portraying it really well. As someone who has them myself it really hits home and Bills calm attempts to help her are really heartwarming, getting her to describe her musical for him and the two bonding. It’s genuinely sweet. But.. it can’t last, as Alice freaks out about her phone and Bill for once is in the right, as .. he was you know.. trying to save his daughter having a panic attack, and really stepped up given he was obnovious she had anxiety in the first place, and managed it well. He then gives the utterly heart stomping line “I love you to the moon and back, but sometime’s it’s really hard to like you. “

Just damn. So Alice runs off and both find their way to the fairway. Bill tries winning a doll for Alice, getting into a test of strength where he fails repedatly and is constantly mocked by the barker, played by James Tolbert who also played Blinky..

That should be Tolbert’s twitter handle. Anyway point is, Bill keeps trying even as he wracks up 400 dollars in credit card debt, for a 49.95 doll, before eventually the barker and hte crowd’s jeers get to be too much and he does smack it hard, thinking of all of his pent up rage towards alice.. just as the bell at the top takes the shape of alice’s head and explodes. Bill is naturally horrified by this by the barker assures he loves him.. and that he should totally hobble his daughter misery style to make her not leave him and use the mallet for it. Meanwhile Alice is at the shooting Gallery not wanting the blinky doll she wins, just blowing off steam when she runs into an old crone played by Lauren Lopez. But this Crone has her phone... which suspiciously has a ton of instagram photos of Deb and Zigg making out while sharing a toke. Granted Deb COULD’VE cheated, but given Alice is insecure, and her phone was given back to her by a witch working for an eye goblin.. yeah maybe just maybe Deb was loyal, and if she wasn’t wouldn’t be dumb enough to put it on instagram. But given Alice is already worked up it’s easy enough for her to beliive that her relationships in danger and if she gets there in time she can stop it and oh look her gun is now a real gun and can help her get the keys. So yeah it’s time for a creepy as hell Shining-esque showdown, but if both sides were possesed instead of one. It’s.. a CHILLING as hell scene, not helped by Alice wielding a gun again as both fight. I was gripped the entire time and don’t have much to say utter than HOLY SHIT THIS WAS AS TERRIFYING AS IT WAS RIVITING.

But a crowd gathers as the fight continues.. all with purple eyes which ave been seen on and off, watchers with a thousand eyes.. and with Blinky, now revealed NOT to be a costume probably, above them all. We also get one hell of a line. “This is an amusement park but not for YOUR amusement.”

So yeah I love this sequence.. and Blinky as a villain. While it’s vague if he and Blinky are the same entity.. I’m going with not. It’s not a stretch that like Cthulu, Wiggly has brothers in the black and white, with their own motives, methods and ability to get into our world. Unlike Wiggly.. Blinky’s already here and has no real ambition other than to find people to mentally tear apart and set loose on one another for his own amusement. He doesn’t have grand plans of burning the world.. he just wants to be entertained. It’s an interesting and chilling motive and I hope we see him again eventually. I also believe those at the park are trapped there bound after their own day there and trapped doing whatever Wiggly needs. Except maybe squeaky voiced teen. He probably just complains about cleaning up so much blood. But yeah Blinky is very happy as the fight escalates into the hall of mirrors and Alice looses her gun.. with Bill now poised to strike down his daughter as the mirror reflects the various workers at the park, all encouraging him to kill her... it’s utterly terrifying as Bill’s eyes take on a purple tint.. and we get a POWERFUL use of the score and the “why does it hurt to love you’ bit from TGWDLM.. as Bill sees himself and what he’s about to do, sees his daughter understandably having a panic attack.. and calms her, his eyes returning and the two reconciling. Of course Blinky isn’t happy about this “sappy bullshit” and brings htem into his domain, charging at them. But kinda missing that giving a pissed off teenager a rifle she knows how to use when you have a giant target for a face isn’t a good idea and she shoots him, with him bleeding a flood of purple goo that sends them out. While I doubt Winky’s dead, he is done with them. Our story concludes on a sweeet note as the two find their car, and they finally make as tep forward, Bill having seen almost too late how selfish and controlling he was being and accepting his daughter on her phone.. and Alice realizing her need to open up and after checking Instagram, likely finding out those photo’s weren’t real, she throws her phone in the back.. but not before accepting her dad’s request, letting him in. Sure the road ahead is rough.. but the two have made a good first step towards repairing things and loving one another again in a healthy manner. and all it took was bill nearly murdering her and allice shooting an eye goblin int he face and getting covered in his blood. Cue the credits, a beautiful song called “One Thousand Eyes” with Jeff Blim fucking nailing it. A great way to send off this bit. Final Thoughts: This was the best one of the two. While Ape Man is really good too, this one took the darker tone of black friday, but with a tighter narrative. By focusing on a smaller cast, the darker elements really played better and the conclusion felt more satisfying.. though it helped that BOTH of these tails ended without everyone dying, and while I doubt EVERY story will have a happy ending, it makes things more interesting knowing that the heroes can get a happy ending this time around instead of an apocalypse.

Overall Thoughts: This double feature was great, I’ll be getting a ticket to the next one if I can afford it, and if not i’ll see it presumably in December or next year when it comes on YouTube. Really excellent stuff. So this was a first for me but if you’d like to see more starkid stuff from me, let me know in the comments or my askbox, commission me to review one of the musicals via dm, and if you liked how I did this review follow this blog for weekly ducktales and loud house coverage, and amphibia coverage when that returns, among more fun reviews. And until next time.. don’t blink. Play us out Jeff.

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I really hope this is the ending theme for the series.

#nightmare time #hatchetfield #the hatchetfield ape man #watcher world #ted #professor henry hidgens #Bill Woodward #Alice Woodward #Lucy Stockworth #halloween #halloween havoc #paul matthews #jeff blim #team starkid #starkid

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

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more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

#tgcf liveblog #bedtime now but im excited to be moving on #mouse mumbles

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imthefailedartist · 4 years

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Spinning FRIENDS

A hobby of mine is coming up with film and TV show ideas. The following are my ideas for “Friends” spin-offs. These are all set in that 90’s early 00’s sitcom style.

Monica and Chandler Geller-Bing- Follows them as they adapt to parenthood and moving from the city to the suburbs and the commute. Monica enjoys the suburban life; Chandler is having trouble. The twins are three and entering preschool where Monica gets into competitions with the other super parents. Chandler is too sensitive for the other dad’s they become best friends with their quirky new neighbors. Monica keeps trying to impress the Homeowners Association but to no avail. Chandler learns more about himself and his childhood and how he wants to be as a parent.

Phoebe Buffay*- The show follows Phoebe as she begins working at a spa. Each episode revolves around a quirky client and how phoebe deals with them. The owner, the receptionist, rival masseuse, friendly masseuse and one regular client are the main cast along with phoebe. Mike rarely appears. (He was a cute boyfriend for Phoebe, but I hated that they ended together.)

Joey Tribbiani- Joey moves to Los Angeles and into an apartment building filled with other people who want to be involved in film or television. His new neighbors/friends are an actress, a writer, a director, an actor, an actor who looks just like Joey lives in the building, but they are adamant that they do not look alike, Joey loses some jobs to him. Joey is still a Casanova and is wooing the ladies, but he has a will they/won’t they relationship with the writer. The landlord is a once famous actor who fizzled out of Hollywood, he becomes Joey’s mentor. This would not necessarily be an ensemble show like Friends, but it would focus more on Joey. The other characters would get stories and development. However, it would not be uncommon for those characters to not appear or only show up for few minutes of some episodes This style would also allow for the reverse so the show could focus on the story of the other characters.

I think the original idea for Joey to be the one character that gets a spin-off was great but from what little I’ve seen of “JOEY” the showrunners and writers did not care about connecting the show to Friends, which is a shame. They could have hard reset his character back to “Friends” season one Joey, a lovable goofball, Casanova adjusting to Hollywood vs. New York.

Friends guest appearances on the Joey spin-off

Chandler visits and wants to paint the town red, being free of dad life suburban life, etc. he comes to town and Joey takes him to all kinds of Hollywood parties, but he falls asleep or gets tired. Joey feels bad but Chandler says it’s the second most fun he’s ever had- hint, hint.

Phoebe is brought to town by a client working on a movie she visits Joey and she of course has a gaggle of strange friends that she and Joey get into weird trouble. She gets him a small part in the movie because she cannot stop talking about how great he is.

Ross comes to town just to visit. He takes Joey to museums. Joey is bored and uninterested, but at each spot he meets the same girl and tries to talk to her, Ross unknowingly cock-blocks him, taking him to another exhibit or museum. The episode ends with Ross realizing that the girl is stalking Joey. Her character pops up occasionally throughout the show.

Rachel comes to town for LA Fashion Week she invites Joey. In attendance is a major director Joey hopes to schmooze. While backstage he encounters a hot model who flirts with him but he keeps getting blocked by a male model who is younger and has abs. Joey is eating a burger and the male model eats it in a desperate hunger because he’s been starving himself for the runway, he gets sick because of the unhealthy food. Rachel has no choice but to replace the model with Joey, who is reluctant because he wants to talk to director during the show. Joey goes down the runway in his Joey way and Rachel is embarrassed and thinks she is going to get fired, Joey thinks the director will never take him serious as an actor. Instead everyone loves Joey and he starts getting modeling offers as the new “Anti-Model” model. Rachel gets a promotion and Joey gets a nice part in the director’s new movie. Rachel comes to the apartment to thank Joey and just hangout, while there she meets The Writer, and notices the chemistry between them she points it out to Joey and begins the actual story of Joey realizing he has feelings for the writer.

Monica is in LA for a food expo. Joey is shooting a movie with a movie star that Monica loves, he plans to bring her to set so she can meet him. Arriving at his place with a large cooler of food she is taken aback at his surprisingly filthy apartment. Monica never leaves, she misses the entire expo and set visit because she cannot stop cleaning. Smelling the delicious food his new friends come over Joey introduces her to his new friends; we find out that Monica’s restaurant is super successful. She offers to make them dinner, they refuse, she insists, they accept and give her a laundry list of dietary restrictions, she looks forward to the challenge. Monica makes the meal and they enjoy it she learns more about them and tells Joey she was worried about him but knows that he has friends and people who love him just as much as the New York bunch. Its time to go home and Joey feels bad because he did not get to show Monica the movie set because she spent it cleaning up his mess. She says it was the best gift he could have ever given her.

Gunther’s spin-off would revolve around Central Perk. The show would mainly feature the café employees with Gunther as their boss. The staff are all different archetypes, there are a few regulars who make appearances.

Whilst all my previous Friends spin-off ideas are twenty-two-minute sitcoms set in the 90’s my idea for Rachel and Ross is modern and is a dramatic comedy for a premium cable network or streaming service (twenty-five to thirty minutes, no commercials). My Rachel and Ross spin off takes place ten years after Friends.

I am one of those people who always thought Rachel should have gone to Paris. I hated that the show kept Ross and Rachel on the table after they broke up in season three. Seven seasons (i.e. years) had passed, it is not like they ever got back together during any of the seven years apart. Sex does not count as together. Also, to me the writers never wrote anything compelling enough about the two of them during those seven years that made me believe they would last. The catalyst of the show is Rachel gets a big career opportunity that would cause the family to have to rework somethings in their lives but overall it would have little effect on their overall lives, Ross asks her to turn it down because he cannot see past the changes, Rachel turns it down. A time later Ross gets a career opportunity that would uproot the entire family and have effects on everyone in the family. Rachel tells him to turn it down because the family cannot handle that kind of change suddenly. Ross takes it anyway.

Ross and Rachel- The iconic couple are getting divorced after so many years together. Rachel realizes that she has given up so much career wise, and that he is just not the husband and father she thought he would be. The show begins in the middle, the papers have already been filed and disputed and renegotiated. They live on the outskirts of the city, Rachel still works in fashion, Ross is still a paleontologist. Ben and Emma are their only children. Ross’ relationship with Ben (age 15 or 16) is strained. Ben is gender-queer and Ross refuses to accept it. They have a close relationship with Rachel. They want her to have primary custody (Carol and Susan moved to another state), much to Ross’ chagrin. Emma is a preteen and is acting out because she feels caught in the middle. Ross has moved out of state for his new job he comes back to deal with the divorce and to spend time with kids. The show focuses on Rachel getting back to herself and becoming the woman she wants to be and what she wants in a relationship and on Ross who wants to get his family back and who he is as a husband and father.

I could see Monica being on episodes caught in a hard place and Chandler taking Rachel’s side immediately. Joey is the true neutral friend and Phoebe is heart broken over the lobsters being broken.

Take away the Friends elements and it could just work as a show with original characters.

*My least favorite idea

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itsokay-thatskdrama · 4 years

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my uninvited thoughts on the king eternal monarch

*SPOILERS* I watched this show for two reasons: Kim Eun-sook’s drama’s SLAP and Woo Do-hwan.

As for reason one, Kim Eun-sook writes phenomenal and creative dramas. She’s never disappointed me before and I wouldn’t say I was disappointed with this show. I enjoyed it. I was intrigued, I was really into the plot and concept. In the world of the drama, it felt like a Kim Eun-sook drama. Well developed characters, a world of its own, and a plot that moves quick from the start. But I wouldn’t say this met or exceeded expectations regarding Secret Garden, DOTS Goblin, or even Heirs.

As for Woo Do Hwan, I watch everything he’s in because I’m in love with him.

More below. (*SPOILERS*)

1. The main couple. The one thing that I feel really lacked is the main couple. Lee Gon is a well developed, deep character and he grows throughout the show. Jeong Tae-eul is a developed, deep character and she also grows throughout the show. But I was never rooting for them as a couple. I totally bought his feelings for her. I understand where they came from, I understand why he fights for her, and I can recognize at what point during the show he started to love her romantically. I can’t say the same about Tae-eul’s side. I believe that she loves him, and I understand that her feelings for him are true and deep and unmoving, but i don’t know where they came from. It felt like she was annoyed by him, annoyed by him again,intrigued by him, friendly but indifferent and then suddenly deep undying love and i have no idea where it started.

2. My biggest issue with the treason plot. It built and built and built and almost climaxed and then died. I feel like so much of the last few episodes built up to this fight that was maybe 10 minutes max and then it was done. And then the show went into epilogue mode.

3. The parallel counterparts. Jo Yeong/Jo Eun-sup was brilliant. To have such different characters switch roles was brilliant, and honestly, held the show together at some points. I also really liked the storyline with Hyun-min and Sin-jae. I wish we got to see a bit more of that, especially Hyun-min’s side of waking up as Sin-jae. How were his memories seemingly erased? How did he end up in Sin-jae’s position beyond meeting Lee Lim? The Tae-eul/Luna arc was mediocre at best honestly, and the best part was seeing her happy ending after the timeline changed.

4. The ads. The drama got a lot of criticism for the “excessive advertising” but it was still better than several other dramas I’ve seen. Even DOTS and Goblin had some horribly incorporated commercial lines. (The iconic “I’m hungry” “almonds?” from DOTS or the towels in every scene of Goblin.) All I’m saying is some could have been better (there were too many lines about the coffee and skin care) but at least they were eating at a chicken place instead of SUBWAY.

5. Memory loss at the end. I freaking hated this for one reason only. It almost entirely negates Eun-sup’s story arc. He was a jumpy, cowardly, guy who literally jumped in front of a bullet to save a king that isn’t his. His story as the Unbreakable Sword just kind of disappears. From the scene where he runs away from a fight, to jumping in front of Gon in the shoot out, to pulling Na-ri behind him to physically protect her is growth. And it’s a bummer that he doesn’t remember, especially because Yeong does. Yeong learns to live for himself a little bit. He finds joy in the twins, he finds a friend (?) in Sin-jae and Tae-eul and Eun-sup. The scene where Yeong hugs Eun-sup shows that while Yeong lives to protect the king, he’s found people he really cares about and misses them and thinks of them. He finds and accepts romance with Seung-ah. Eun-sup doesn’t have that.

6. Honestly, what the fuck is the timeline in this show. What the fuck is happening?

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salmankhanholics · 3 years

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★ Shah Rukh Khan returns as Raj, Salman Khan as Prem for Aamir Khan's Laal Singh Chaddha!

Nov 18, 2020

In 1993, Ashutosh Gowariker got the two Khans, Shah Rukh and Aamir, on board for a cameo in his directorial debut, Pehla Nasha. Till date, it remains the only film in which SRK and Aamir shared screen space. They came close to working together in Mansoor Khan’s Josh and Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra’s Rang De Basanti but things didn’t materialise. Twenty-seven years later, SRK shot for a cameo in Aamir’s upcoming film, Laal Singh Chaddha, in Delhi last month, before flying off to the UAE to support his cricket team, Kolkata Knight Riders, in the recently-concluded IPL. The Advait Chandan-directorial is the official remake of the Tom Hanks classic, Forrest Gump, and chronicles the journey of its protagonist over a span of five decades. Mirror has learnt that Shah Rukh’s track in the film is set in the mid-‘90s and that the actor will revisit his iconic character Raj Malhotra from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. The screenplay weaves in iconic moments from each decade and since we love our matinee idols, Chaddha’s journey would be incomplete without certain top stars. So, during this journey of self-discovery, Aamir lands on the sets to meet Shah Rukh around the release of DDLJ and sharing his personal experiences, engages with the wonder world,” shares a source, promising that the interaction between the two will bring in a lot of laughs and SRK’s Raj will be an upgrade of Dick Cavett’s cameo role from the 1994 original. “He’ll go back to 1995 and look like a younger version of himself with the use of prosthetics and VFX,” the source informed, adding that it’s not a run-of-the-mill cameo, and that the track is pivotal to the narrative.

If that’s not enough, we hear that Aamir is also in talks with another Khan, Salman, for a cameo. However, they are yet to decide which character he will resurrect on screen. “His Prem wooed the audience in the ’90s, from Maine Pyar Kiya, Hum Aapke Hai Koun! to Hum Saath Saath Hain and Aamir is keen to get Salman back as Prem in his social dramedy. There’s a track set in 1989 that depicts a change in audience taste, from action to romance, and the craze around Salman. They are expected to finalise the details soon,” revealed the source, saying there were plans to get Aamir to visit the two Khans during the shoot of Karan Arjun, but that was eventually scrapped. However, this will be the first time that the three Khans will be seen in a film together.

Vikram Vedha actor, Vijay Sethupati, too, is a part of the film and is said to be playing the protagonist’s best friend, Bubba. In the original, Gary Sinise played the role. The film which features Kareena Kapoor as the leading lady will open in Christmas 2021.

#salman khan #prem #lsc #lal singh chaddha #srk #aamir khan

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tonystarkstan · 5 years

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HI HOPE I LOVE YOU and I have a little thingy/question/headcanon that you can explore if you want: After the Snap, Peter hates sand/dirt/anything that slightly resembles ash so when his decathlon team takes a trip to the beach in the summer, Peter won't walk on the sand without his shoes on and will only sit on a towel

HI I LOVE YOU TOO!

man, I love it when people send me angsty prompts. here we go. I made it irondad because that’s the only thing I know how to write, woo.

“Can you believe Mr. Harrington is letting us do this?” Ned asks Peter excitedly as they get onto the fancy charter bus.

“Yes,” MJ says from behind them. “What was he supposed to say when Tony Stark told him, ‘Hey, I want to take the Decathlon team on a trip, because they deserve a break’ - no?”

“She’s got a point,” Tony says, smirking from where he’s already sitting in the front seat.

He looks different from the very put-together version of himself the world usually sees. He’s dressed casually in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, along with his trademark sunglasses, and Peter grins at him.

“Pepper says no to you all the time,” he points out as he and Ned take the pair of seats across from Tony. “Especially that time you told her you wanted to hire someone solely to make donuts for you.”

Tony gives him an incredulous look. “First of all, I told you that in confidence. Second of all, why do you call her by her first name but I’m still ‘Mr. Stark’?”

Peter grins mischievously. “Because she’s cooler.”

Tony shrugs. “I guess I can’t argue with that.”

Beside him, Ned is watching their interaction with wide eyes. Peter sits back in his seat and looks on as the rest of the team shuffles onto the bus, immediately talking in hushed voices as they catch sight of Tony.

For his part, Tony just smiles warmly and greets them all individually, and Peter laughs under his breath when Flash comes aboard. All the warmth leaves Tony’s face as he eyes Flash coldly, and the teen stumbles nervously, shooting Peter a quick look before making a beeline for the back.

Peter glances at Ned to see if he caught the exchange, but he’s still frozen in awe. Peter rolls his eyes and elbows him.

“Really, man? We’ve been over this. That right there?” he points to Tony, who’s eyes are sparkling with mirth behind his glasses. “That’s just a normal human. I mean, yeah, he’s a genius and a billionaire, and he saved the whole world from a mad Titan, but Pepper has to remind him to eat. And he always loses the TV remote.”

“Even better. We stan a relatable icon,” Ned says, and MJ huffs from her seat behind them.

“You’re insufferable.”

“I try my best. Anyway, what do you guys want to do? I brought snacks, cards, and a couple different movies - all Star Wars, of course,” Ned tells him.

“You’re so predictable. I have a better idea,” she tells them, standing up to address the rest of the bus. “Yo! I made a Kahoot on movies through the decades. Winner gets a free pass to skip a meeting without facing my eternal anger and resentment.”

“She’s talking to you, Parker!” Cindy calls, and Peter laughs good-naturedly. He’s notorious for skipping out on practice.

“Yeah, yeah,” Peter grumbles, taking out his phone. “Hope you guys are ready to lose.”

In the back, Mr. Harrington looks like he wants to say something, but as everyone starts bickering and challenging each other, he decides to just sit back and let it happen.

The game lasts the full hour it takes to get to the beach. Ned beats Peter by one question, and Peter is one hundred percent sure he will never live it down.

Tony raises an eyebrow. “A hacker and a movie buff, huh?”

Ned nearly chokes at being directly addressed. “Mr. Iron Man Tony Stark, I am so sorry about hacking into - “ he lowers his voice to a whisper, “ - the suit, but, well - Peter made me do it!”

Peter groans. “I hate you. I really do. I’m going to literally throw you under the bus,” he threatens as the bus backs into a parking space.

“That wouldn’t be very neighborly or friendly,” Ned says pointedly, and Tony snorts.

“You’re fine, kid. If anything, I was impressed,” Tony tells him, and Ned wheezes.

Mr. Harrington makes his way to the front as everyone talks excitedly.

“You know the drill. Don’t disappear, don’t drown, don’t get kidnapped, stay in pairs, don’t buy sketchy things from sketchy strangers, and just don’t do anything that will cause me or Mr. Stark a lot of paperwork,” he tells the group.

“Amen to that,” Tony mutters, and everyone laughs, already halfway out of their seats.

“Wait!” Mr. Harrington continues. “You guys need to be changed into dry clothes and back on the bus by 6:30. Snacks are in the cooler, and we’re getting dinner on the way back. Got it?”

“Yes, Mr. Harrington,” the students chant in unison. Appeased, he steps aside and lets the students file off the bus.

Peter, Ned, and MJ quickly gather their things and make their way to the boardwalk in their sandals and swimwear. MJ points out a little ghost crab scurrying across one of the dunes as they walk.

When they step onto the sand, Peter halts, blood freezing in his veins.

Little grains of sand have already gotten into his sandals, the gritty sensation horrifyingly familiar. It takes his breath away. Beside him, Ned pauses.

“What’s wrong?” his friend asks, missing the ashen look on Peter’s face.

Peter clears his throat, trying to quell the increasing panic. “I, uh - n-nothing. I just forgot something on the bus. You guys go on ahead. I’ll be right back.”

“You sure?” Ned asks, and Peter nods, swallowing down his nerves. MJ narrows her eyes at him, but he shakes his head subtly, and she nods, steering Ned to the water, where everyone else is already toeing at the waves.

As soon as they’re away, Peter steps back onto the boardwalk and kicks his shoes off, trying to get the sand away from him as he runs on bare feet back to the bus. He passes Mr. Harrington.

“Forgot something,” Peter mutters shortly, not even bothering to stop. He just needs to get away. He hates himself for not anticipating this.

The doors thankfully, are still open, and the bus driver is standing a few feet away as he talks on the phone. Peter runs onto the bus and runs smack into Tony.

Shit, Peter curses to himself. I thought he was already off.

“Peter?” Tony asks, hands coming up to Peter’s shoulders, steadying him. The kid is panting now, breaths coming in short little gasps.

All he can think of is how, not that long ago, he was in pieces, no bigger than grains of sand. Dust. Ash. He hates all of it, hates how it makes him feel, how it makes him remember.

“Peter - Pete, hey hey,” Tony soothes, gently lowering him onto a seat. “Breathe, buddy. Just breathe, everything’s okay.”

Peter nods, trying to steady himself as he twists his hand into Tony’s sleeve, grounding himself. Tony scans the kid, trying to figure out what could have set him off. That’s when he notices the bare feet, red and raw from the heat of the pavement.

Already forming an idea of what happened, Tony quietly talks Peter through the panic attack, gently easing him back into the here and now.

Eventually, Peter slumps forward, head coming to rest on Tony’s shoulder, and Tony brings a hand up to rest in the soft curls.

“You’re safe, kid, I promise,” Tony murmurs. “Want to tell me what happened?” he asks.

Peter shakes his head, but his mouth opens to speak anyway. “It was the sand,” he says hoarsely, and Tony nods to himself, cursing himself for thinking of this ahead of time. “It just - I know it’s stupid, but it makes me think of - of - “

Tony’s grip tightens around him. “It is not stupid, Peter. What you went through was traumatic. It’s not just going to go away.”

“Everyone else got dusted too, but they don’t - they don’t flinch at everything that so much as resembles it,” Peter counters, pulling away from him.

“Everyone else didn’t feel it like you did,” Tony says firmly. “And even if they did, it doesn’t matter. Everyone reacts to trauma differently.”

“I guess,” Peter mutters, looking down at his feet with a sigh.

“Do you want to go home?” Tony asks. “I can have Happy come pick us up.”

Peter shakes his head. “No, no. I, uh. Don’t want to ruin this for anyone.” Tony opens his mouth to protest, but Peter cuts him off. “I have a pair of tennis shoes for the ride back. I’m just going to change into those and maybe sit on a towel. I should be fine.”

“You sure?” Tony checks as Peter sifts through his bag and pulls out his old tennis shoes.

“Yeah,” Peter says, quickly pulling them on and standing up. They walk quietly across the boardwalk, Tony keeping an eye out for any signs of distress as they get closer to the sand.

Peter takes a deep breath and tenses as he steps onto the sand but relaxes when it doesn’t evoke the same sickening feeling as before.

Tony smiles proudly and briefly pulls him close before pointing to where MJ and Ned are sitting on their respective towels, just far enough out of reach from the waves.

“Looks like your friends are waiting for you,” he comments, and Peter grins, jogging over with his towel.

“Hey! You guys didn’t want to get in?” Peter asks, carefully spreading his towel out on the ground next to them.

“Too cold,” MJ answers shortly, even as everyone else splashes in the waves. There’s a knowing look in her eyes as she watches Tony lay out his towel next to them.

Peter nods, trying to convey his gratitude.

“Plus, it’s much more fun to watch Flash try to swim. He’s surprisingly awful at it,” Ned chimes in.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll get caught in a rip current,” MJ jokes, and Peter gives her a chastising nudge while both Ned and Tony laugh.

“That’s not very nice,” Peter scolds, but MJ shrugs as if to say, Your point?

The four of them spend hours like that, just sitting and talking and exchanging jokes. By the time they’re back on the bus, both MJ and Ned have been offered paid internships, which Ned accepts through a happy squeal, and MJ politely says she needs some time to think about it.

All in all, it was a good trip.

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nikitasbt · 5 years

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Hong Kong crime films of John Woo: unwatchable or fun?

In the late 1980s, the films of John Woo have created a kind of template for typical bloodshed Hong Kong crime movies. During the next decades, the Hong Kong directors have been producing similar things in abundance, it was just a cliche for every director seeking glory to expand himself into crime movies. Even an art-house icon Wong Kar-wai came up with crime film As Tears Go By as the first feature directed by him. At present times, the old films of John Woo seem to be naive and crazy with their over-the-top style and unrealistic shooting scenes. However, these films remain influential as many directors have been following Woo's work. Many viewers might find films like A Better Tomorrow, The Killer or Hard Boiled unwatchable, and I understand that completely. However, they are worth seeing as a very significant part of Hong Kong cinema history.

A Better Tomorrow (1986)

I used to know John Woo as the director who filmed Mission Impossible II, though before his Hollywood period he has been making a lot of crime films in Hong Kong. A Better Tomorrow (1986) starring teenager star singer and actor Leslie Cheung, Chow Yun-Fat and Ti Lung was John Woo's breakthrough. The film was made on a tight budget but became an Asian blockbuster Hong Kong box office records. A Better Tomorrow is a story of two brothers, one of whom is a young policeman, while the other is mafia boss. It's needless to describe the plot, as it is quite naive, and many things are way too corny making it unwatchable for western viewers. The most important part is crazy shooting scenes with almost endless ammo characters have in their possession. Chow Yun-Fat performance is actually, he has over-shined the other co-stars which led him to become one of the most famous Hong Kong actors. Till date, he remains the highest paid Hong Kong actor after Jackie Chan. A Better Tomorrow was a cult film for Hong Kong which has influenced Asia a lot. Many teenagers were trying to act and dress "like Mark" (played by Chow Yun-Fat). Lots of references in pop music and cinema were made to A Better Tomorrow. Later, John Woo produced two sequels to the film. To be frank, I decided not to watch it, but try the other two famous films of Woo which happened to be better.

The Killer (1989)

The Killer is not only known as another Hong Kong blockbuster becoming a huge success on the box but as the film became quite popular in the West. It was praised by Tarantino who took some things from it as the features of his own films, just as he did with the Japanese Lady Snowblood starring Meiko Kaji. Luc Besson and Robert Rodriguez were also influenced by this film. Chow Yun-Fat returns to John Woo's cast as The Killer. Despite his violent killings, he appears to be a man of honour never killing the innocent people or policeman. Accidentally, he injuries a female singer (Sally Yeh) and later he tries to do everything to help her recover. He also saves a baby during one of the shoot-outs. The killer is being hunted by the detective (Danny Lee) who learns how to think like the killer to capture him. As the plot develops, the detective learns that a killer is actually a decent man. They develop friendship and confront the gangsters together at the final long shoot-out. Again it is quite corny, but this is already more fun than a Better Tomorrow. Especially, shoot-outs and stunts are much better here. Keeping in mind, The Killer is a film of its particular genre, I would conclude it is a good one.

Hard Boiled (1992)

The third famous Hong Kong crime movie of Jonn Woo is Hard Boiled and it is actually very nice! Comparing with A Better Tomorrow and The Killer, there is not so much unrealistic bullshit as "good killer" or exaggerated relationships between cop-mafia boss brothers. The plot is surprisingly not so linear. It has one important twist with Alan happening to be a police agent undercover, and it is not that obvious. The story kept me entertained till the end, and I liked it.

Unlike the other crime movies of Woo, this one was really epic. The final shoot-out lasts 50 minutes, can you imagine that? The badass fight in the hospital where toddlers are takes as hostages, many patients are brutally killed, dozens of policemen being shot, etc. Moreover, there is an arsenal in the morgue of the same hospital. It is needless to say, it will explode in the end. The whole scene is really epic, the way it lasts is awesome and very catchy. I have never seen such a long shoot-out on the screen! The stunts and visual effect during the shooting scenes are carried at a decent level, which is another advantage.

Chow Yun-Fat this time portrays the policeman, while Tony Leung Chiu-Wai appears as Alan. It was one of the best early roles of Tony Leung who is actually my favourite Hong Kong author. The Western audiences loved Hard Boiled very much, it was well-received in the US and Great Britain and became a typical bloodshed Asian movie for western viewers. It was a surprise for me to know, that the success on the box of Hard Boiled in Hong Kong was very modest, comparing to The Killer and A Better Tomorrow. Nothing, but a mystery as Hard Boiled is not corny like other crime movies and it is actually pretty cool!

#chow yun fat #tony leung #john woo

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hogwartswelcomesyou · 6 years

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Hi, I wanted to check out the Sortings for the Baudelaires but it directed me to Glee. Also, could you please sort the Disney Princes or the characters of Once Upon A Time?

The Prince - Hufflepuff

Snow White’s prince is a dainty man, he sings to woo his lady, he feels careful about scaring her and won’t overstep his boundaries. He feels loyalty to her to save her at the end of her film with a gentle kiss before he returns to mourning her with the rest of the dwarves, only to realize HE is the one who has saved her. He’s patient with her and knows Snow will be ready for him at a later date, and is willing to wait to see her again, he’s kind enough to duet with her and not overshadow her lovely voice and he also accepts Snow entirely, for who she is.

Prince Charming - Hufflepuff

Charming is truly a Prince, in a stereotypical way. He goes to lavish balls, lives in a grand palace and yawns at all the beautiful women put before him because he can see they aren’t the right woman for him (though yawning is a little rude, dude). But he’s humble enough to fall for the woman who gets lost, is late, has no title and who shows him kindness at the first glance. He shows the dedication to find his dream runaway girl, and also keeps his promise to marry her. He’s patient, in his wait (as it could have been anything from 24 hours to find her to weeks!) and values are his new wife’s previous life of hard work, patience, and loyalty to her abusive family. And Hufflepuff’s are very good finders, after all! He just needs a better memory and to ask for names before you start dancing!

Prince Phillip - Gryffindor

Phillip I think, is a cookie cutter Gryffindor. Honestly who else would randomly start singing and dancing with someone in the middle of the forest? You have to have real guts to go up to a true stranger, and attempt to woo them! He will do anything for the love he feels for the ‘peasant girl’, knowing he’s meant to be betrothed to the princess, and is willing to defy his royal duty and father’s orders to do what he wants with his life. The prince also escaped a castle, cut down countless thorns and brambles, battled a dragon, defied Maleficent and that is brave, reckless and chivalrous to no end. He doesn’t even come up with a plan! For being a true old timey prince I sort Philip into Gryffindor!

Prince Eric - Hufflepuff

Prince Eric isn’t exactly an easy sort, but I have to go with Hufflepuff. Prince Eric is kind to every person he meets, but he is sort of oblivious to when others need him. Eric enjoys the little things in life; a day on a boat, a pretty girl, and a big castle. The problem with Eric is though he does have loyalty, it sometimes isn’t the loyalty others expect. He has to be a Hufflepuff!

Beast - Gryffindor

Beast is Gryffindor™. He’s arrogant, thinks he’s the one in the right and boy what a temper. But as the story progresses we can see chivalry ranks high on his list of virtues. Along with being self-sacrificing and being willing to do just about anything for Belle, he is incredibly reckless and daring. I mean who fights without thinking on a roof? And as a chivalrous act, I present to you, letting Gaston live even if the guy was a prick. For his daring, nerve and chivalry I sort Beast into Gryffindor!

Aladdin - Slytherin

The diamond in the rough. This little thief belongs in Slytherin and that is that. From a young age, Aladdin learned that in order to survive he has to do everything he can. And for stealing in a place like the market of Agrabah? You need to be as cunning and sly as can be. If he was caught the guards would cut off his hands. Al has wanted to live in the palace and he was sure that someday he will. That ambition. You can see his cunning and manipulative nature in many examples. The best two are the time he first meets Genie and cons him into saving them all from the Cave of Wonders, without using a wish. And the second instance was when he convinced Jafar to wish himself to become a genie. That was the only way Aladdin could defeat him. Because phenomenal cosmic powers resulted in an itty bitty tiny space. At the end of the movie, it was shown that Genie wanted Al to wish to become a prince again, but Aladdin made a promise to use the last wish to free his friend. That determination to keep a promise strikes me like something a Slytherin would do. While he used all the means necessary to get where he wanted to be, he gave his word and he would rather find another way than go back on his word. After all this and more I sort Laddi into Slytherin.

John Smith - Ravenclaw / Gryffindor

Ravenclaw: John Smith is the ultimate stud of his group of men, everyone knows that when John does something it is the right thing. Despite John’s undeniable bravery, his other qualities are what leads him. When John first meets Pocahontas, instead of shooting her like he normally, it is his job. John lets his curiosity get the best of him, and stop him from doing his job. John Smith is intelligent, and know’s that if he gets his men to see that Pocahontas’ people mean the best and that John’s people also mean the best, other than the governor. His Ravenclaw(ness) is truly proven when he takes the shot for Pocahontas’ dad. John Smith knew that Pocahontas would never be able to truly fall in love with him unless she had her fathers blessing. He also knew that Pocahontas’ father had found a way to make this work, and had been extremely kind to him. John also knew that Pocahontas’ dad would never survive if he stayed, and he would never leave. John Smith could survive a shot, but other’s could not. Ultimately John uses his curiosity, creativity, and intelligence to help him make the decisions he does. -Abigail

Gryffindor: John has no desire to learn, he’s in it for the money and the glory! He is in it for the adventure he’ll have, and to be the courageous first person to find the ‘savages’ and kill one, not to learn about his new environment. He breaks the rules that are meant to keep him safe at night (no Ravenclaw would break logical rules in such a rash way, at least they’d take another person with them) to be a badass, for the sake of it, and he finds it immensely difficult to accept a talking tree and that he could love someone who isn’t from England, while a Ravenclaw could use creativity and logic to realise that he’s just trying to comprehend something else. -Star

Li Shang -Ravenclaw

Li Shang is an icon, following in his father’s footsteps. For me, Shang’s defining moment is when despite the guidance of others, he decides to let Mulan survive. The decision is logical, she saved my life, it doesn’t matter if she is a woman, she saved my life, I’ll save hers. Though Shang showed an increment of kindness to Mulan by letting her survive, he doesn’t treat her with kindness again until he realises her immense intelligence and that she had been telling the truth. Shang is logical and very wise making him a Ravenclaw!

Prince Naveen - Slytherin

Another Prince™. Naveen has had his life handed to him on a silver platter all his life, and he’s never learned to chop vegetables or gain any real-life skills. I mean, it’s all well and good to play guitar, but when you’re a prince, I imagine they likely expect more of you than that. He’s ambitious, to want to be a guitar player (that doesn’t come easy!) , he is resourceful, in using his charm to convince Tiana to kiss him, knowing it is likely the only way he’ll get a kiss and a chance at his old life back, which also shows his cunning. To impress his love, he also learns to mince, even though he finds it difficult at first, which shows off his determination at doing what he wants if he puts his mind to it, and he wants to look after himself first. He lied to Tiana about having oodles of cash to save her restaurant, just to protect himself and turn himself human again, so he could go after his dream life with very little regard for what Tiana wanted.

Eugene Fitzherbert -Slytherin

Eugene/Flynn is truly a well-written dude, he’s sly, cunning, charming, daring, chivalrous, witty, AND lives to serve himself. His Slytherin traits though are his defining ones, being his resourcefulness in doing what Blondie wanted in order to get what he wanted, later on, his ambition is wanting to live somewhere am sunny, tanned, rested and alone, surrounded by enormous piles of money, which, same. He knows what he wants and he’ll do ALMOST anything to do it, so long as it doesn’t hurt him, which is where the self-preservation comes in. He only really changes his viewpoint on the world after he gets to know Rapunzel, but it only shifts a little, and he then views himself and Rapunzel as his little group, and the changes from protecting only himself to protecting their little bubble, which shows how he values fraternity as well, though it does take a little while to show it.

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moviessilently · 5 years

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The title character (played by Cannes-honored director and onetime Queen of Mars Yulia Solntseva) is the object of affection for three very different men: a silly bookkeeper, a handsome cameraman and an American businessman in Russia.

Home Media Availability: Released on DVD.

No Smoking

Even if we know that Russian films were not strictly propaganda, many do incorporate political elements into non-political stories. For example, The Girl with the Hat Box and The House on Trubnaya dealt with housing shortages and unionizing domestic workers. The Cigarette Girl of Mosselprom is different in that politics are left at the door and the story could have just as easily been set in New York or Paris or Berlin of the 1920s. Still, the film does manage to include some distinctly Russian flourishes.

And, of course, Lenin’s face on your sink’s backsplash.

Before starting, it’s worth mentioning that The Cigarette Girl of Mosselprom uses the same lead performers and possibly even the same costume designer as Aelita, the iconic Soviet science-fiction hybrid. Aelita’s cinematographer, Yuri Zhelyabuzhsky, takes the helm as director and the action remains decidedly earthbound.

(By the way, when you run into a Romanized name with the letter combination ZH, it stands for the Cyrillic letter Ж and is pronounced like the “s” in treasure or pleasure. All those Zs can look intimidating but it’s really quite easy when you break it down. If you can say “Frappuccino” then you can say “Zhelyabuzhsky”.)

If she sold candy, Nikodim would have diabetes in a week.

Everything in the film revolves around Zina (Yuliya Solntseva), a cigarette street vendor. Mosselprom was the Moscow Rural Cooperative Administration, which dealt in assorted consumer products including cigarettes. (Check out some vintage ads here.) By the way, the Mosselprom building still stands, though I don’t think it was quite finished when this film was made. (The construction was quite torturous, I believe.)

Zina quickly attracts the attention of three men. The first is Nikodim Mityushin played by popular Russian comedian Igor Ilyinsky, who specialized in playing silly little men given to panic and tantrums. Nikodim has been buying cigarettes from Zina daily—despite the fact that he does not smoke! He also does not notice that his co-worker Maria (Anna Dmokhovskaya) is madly in love with him.

MacBride attempts flirtation by translation.

The second man is Oliver MacBride (M. Tsybulsky), an American businessman who hopes to open a high end ready-to-wear fashion house in Moscow. He hopes to hire Zina as a clothing model and perhaps something more.

Finally, we have Latugin (Nikolai Tsereteli), a cameraman working on a major film. He immediately realizes that Zina is played by Yuliya Solntseva and pressures the reluctant director to hire her in a major role. Based on their shared love of cloth caps, Zina and Latugin fall head over heels in love and this is where the troubles begin.

Latugin is too distracted to actually shoot a picture. Nikodim, meanwhile, has decided to style himself a screenwriter in order to get Zina to notice him and that would be fine if he didn’t insist on acting out his eccentric scenarios in the bookkeeping office that employs him.

If there is one lesson to be found in The Cigarette Girl of Mosselprom, it is that people in love are a pain in the rear and, also, never hire Nikodim as a translator if you hope to pitch woo to the woman he loves.

We’re making a film here!

I liked Nikodim a lot more than he probably deserved but, hey, I do love a nice helping of Ilyinsky, especially when he is this zany and fussy. The Guy Who Won’t Take No for an Answer is a pretty squicky trope under normal circumstances but that’s not really what’s going on here as Zina does continue to encourage him. And at least he is called out for his behavior here and even temporarily tries to mend his ways. And, again, the actor playing the character is so cute that it’s difficult to stay angry at him for his antics.

Latugin and Zina are caught in the old romance two-step in which the partners take turns being angry and feeling betrayed and instigating the breakup. Of course, the cameraman is the most dashing of the trio of suitors. I see what you did there, veteran-cameraman-turned-director Mr. Zhelyabuzhsky.

Putting your crush in pictures: the oldest love story in film.

MacBride, meanwhile, is really just a typical American mogul as portrayed in European films of the period. Compare him to Mr. Quaker in The Oyster Princess: corpulent, out of touch, smokes like a train, can’t make a move without an army of retainers. The image was most definitely fixed in the public mind thanks to real-life sybarites like Diamond Jim Brady.

Zina is pragmatic and refreshingly unconcerned with marriage (a common trait of Russian women in rom-coms of this era) and is just a interested in securing a more comfortable profession as she is in courtship with Latugin. And, of course, Yuliya Solntseva is both attractive and charismatic enough to make the feelings of her three suitors understandable even if their behavior is eccentric. (Oddly enough, MacBride, the character who runs closest to outright caricature, conducts himself most normally.)

MacBride makes his move.

Solntseva left acting a few years later to support the work of her husband, director Alexander Dovzhenko. She was honored in her own right at the 1961 Cannes Film Festival when she won Best Director, the first woman to do so and, until 2017 when she was joined by Sofia Coppola, the only woman to do so.

Zina’s costumes are one of the major draws of the picture. While audiences of the day likely delighted in her flowing frocks when she was an actress and her high fashion drama when she was a model, modern viewers (at least the ones I have discussed this with) are absolutely delighted by her simple, modern garb as a cigarette seller. Her Mosselprom cap with the short visor and her simple short-sleeved blouse could be the very next trend in ladies fashion. Somebody call Oliver MacBride.

10/10 would wear

Finally, I very much enjoyed the behind-the-scenes look at a busy Russian film studio during the 1920s. The film also explores the politics of films with Latugin’s director going behind his back to get him fired and scheming to remove Zina as well.

Zhelyabuzhsky’s direction is pretty spot-on for 1924. It’s not as cutting-edge as what the Russian directors in Paris were accomplishing at the time but it gives the viewer a good taste of the flavor of 1924 Moscow and the film’s somewhat leisurely pace lets us take it all in.

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While this is a fine film and sure to entertain, it does miss that little mischievous wink that makes Boris Barnet comedies such delights. It is self-aware about the odd behavior of its characters but a few more pokes at their self-absorption would have done much.

The Cigarette Girl of Mosselprom has a more, er, European pace than Barnet’s comedies but it does have plenty of pleasures, especially Ilyinsky and Solntseva. The screenplay also displays enough self-awareness to prevent the antics of its cast from wearing out their welcome. Further, the shots of Moscow are stunning and you will covet one or more hats from this production.

Where can I see it?

Released on DVD by Kino.

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The Cigarette Girl of Mosselprom (1924) A Silent Film Review The title character (played by Cannes-honored director and onetime Queen of Mars Yulia Solntseva) is the object of affection for three very different men: a silly bookkeeper, a handsome cameraman and an American businessman in Russia.

#1924 #Igor Ilyinsky #Nikolai Tsereteli #Romantic Comedy #Russian Film #The Cigarette Girl of Mosselprom #Yuri Zhelyabuzhsky

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