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My redneck neighbor Doug on 'Tribe'
When not turning his home into a giant light hazard for Jesus's Birthday or getting into yelling fights in the alley with Bobby Lee (another redneck neighbor who is a DIE HARD 'Bama fan) about SEC football, Doug's been randomly texting me things about the Jedi.
I'll update y'all on that soon enough. (Plo Koon = Sexy Shrimp Daddy?!)
Meanwhile, here is his review of his favorite episode of Season 2 of The Bad Batch...TRIBE, or as Doug calls it 'Chewbacca Junior and the Weed Business'.
Yes, a random fetch quest one in which Clone Force 99 helps out a random Wookiee kid. His favorite. Don't ask.
Need a Doug refresher? Check it out under Doug Talks Star Wars here.
TW: Doug Doug's as is his Doug-like wont. Hold onto your butts. A little calmer since Daddy Warcrimes is MIA in this one.
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So we got Daddy Rambo and the gang making counterfeit licenses for underage drinkers or whatever. You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess, and Daddy Rambo will do a lot of things, but obtaining gainful employment ain’t one of them. 
Ryan-from-Accounting is smug as hell about his counterfeiting operation. You’re so smart, Ryan-from-Accounting, why don’t you go to law school and start practicing corporate licensing? At least you can get equity there, ya dingaling.
And Little Orphan Blondie runs away because she’s embarrassed to be seen around them. I get it, kid.
Woah, it’s Chewbacca Junior! Are the lizard and robot people trying to sell him to the circus or something? Oh, he’s a Jedi?! When did this happen, this is awesome! I loved Chewbacca! I love Wookiees! AWESOME!!!
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And Little Orphan Blondie is protecting him, go Little Orphan Blondie, go! 
I hope they adopt Chewbacca Junior and get him a collar and a nice bed on the floor of the HMS Search Warrant. They need a pet. Little Orphan Blondie can brush him and put bows in his hair! Do you think he uses a litter box?
They’re taking him home, and look! Little Orphan Blondie is giving him her Lunchables. I’m proud of the Dad Batch, they’re teaching Little Orphan Blondie good morals. Oh, poor wee Chewbacca Junior, he has no family and when he talks it sounds like Jimmers when he’s treed a squirrel*.
But Ryan-from-Accounting can understand him! Ya know, I wonder if his helmet can translate Bitch and that’s how Ryan-from-Accounting talks to his Bitch Wife Laura. 
It would be awesome if they adopt Chewbacca Junior and he attacks people with his lightsaber. He’s like a pet version of an MR-15! Imagine the DAMAGE his furry ass would do on the battlefield! 
Ooh, they made it to Wookieeland! Ya know, it always reminded me of where Jenny and I used to camp in northern California. I wonder if there’s a brewery nearby? I bet Toaster Strudel needs to throw back, that man needs a beer and a restraining order from Daddy Rambo. 
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Oh SHIT, looks like the bugs from Klendathu made their way down to Wookieeland. Somebody call the Starship Troopers! Oh, wait, they can talk to those things like Dougie Houser did? Woah. Neat. 
Looks like the Empire found the Wookiee weed farm and torched it. Poor Wookiees, they’re just trying to make an honest living growing herb. Leave ‘em alone!
Which planet makes meth, my money’s on Tatooine, it looks like New Mexico and that place is meth Disneyland, there was a whole TV show about it. 
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(Above is...Tatooine?! - Dr Meat Muffin)
Oh man it’s Houma-BBQ-Bitch’s shitty brothers and they’re burning the whole weed operation to the ground. Guess they work for the DEA.
Kick their asses, Wookiees! Now they want Chewbacca Junior, but the Dad Batch is saying FUCK YOU! 
Go Dad Batch go! Fire ‘em up! Destroy the tanks! GO JULIO GO! It’s like Apocalypse Now with Bigfoot!
More Wookiees! And they’re riding giant monkey-cats! AWESOME. Man, I feel stoned just watching this episode. Why can't I stop giggling.
Granny Wookiee says come on in and have some weed! Oh, shit, are they doing ayahuasca? Toaster Strudel ain’t having it, but Julio’s down. Julio’s down for anything, he’s probably gonna stick around, use his pipe laying skills, and get some free ganga out of the deal. Man, we all need a Julio in our life. Love him. 
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Oh, poor Chewbacca Junior can’t find a home. Come on, Granny Wookiee, just let him crash with you guys! He can clip weed on the side, he’s got that lightsaber, let ‘em have it. But first, let’s talk to the trees! Did they take mushrooms before this scene, Jesus Christ this really does take place in Humboldt County, doesn’t it.
Ah, nevermind, the gators that run the DEA are here. With Stormtroopers. Oh shit, are the gators wearing Wookiee pelts while fighting Wookiees? That’s some Silence of the Lambs shit right there.
Welp, time for fire fights, Smokey the Bear does not approve of this episode, especially as one of the lizard men chases Chewbacca Junior and Little Orphan Blondie into the woods with a flamethrower. 
Oh shit, there are the bugs! Shit, am I actually cheering on the bugs from Starship Troopers? What is going on here, I’m so confused. Whelp, they’re eating Houma-BBQ-Bitch’s brother, good for them.
Back to Granny Wookiee’s Pot Palace, where Toaster Strudel and Julio throw back her questionable moonshine and smile at each other. If they end up with Wookiee girlfriends, it will be weird, but I will be happy for them. 
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And Little Orphan Blondie and Chewbacca Junior are talking to the trees, again. Just watching this episode makes me wanna go back to Electric Forest. Except I don’t think Oceana County has wookiees, but it does have crazy people in the woods I guess. 
*=Jimmers is Doug’s extremely handsome poodle mix dog. His full name is Jimmers Jimothy Jimerson III and they found him as a stray when he was eating trash behind a bowling alley in Nacogdoches. 
Where my Doug fans at? @amalthiaph @eyecandyeoz @merkitty49 @sued134 are the biggest, but let me know if ya wanna be tagged in the next installment!
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sleepysoulsart · 10 months
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Photo dump of the wookiees I've been working on. Kinda in love with these minis from the Star Wars Legion game. They need *so* much dry-brushing though, between the fur and the armor pieces.
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star-wars-forever · 11 months
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Chewbacca (Return of the Jedi)
by Bruce White
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sashketter · 2 days
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Preparing for Tantiss
Summary: While the Bad Batch acquire the coordinates to Tantiss, Rex prepares a ragtag team of familiar faces to follow him to the Imperial base.
Word count: 1.3K
Warnings: A hint of Rexiyo; a smidge, a sampling, an infinitesimal iota, if you will 😊
Notes: I’ve been saying for awhile that the "cavalry" in The Bad Batch finale might not just be clones, but it occurred to me only today to write it tf down, the last two episodes be damned lol This takes place during season 3 episode 13 of The Bad Batch, "Into the Breach." Look to the tags for the “familiar faces” - the cast is too long to list here. I wrote this in a rush, but it builds off some ideas I'm using for a series about Riyo Chuchi and the Clone Underground, specifically using Orto Plutonia as a base and the working relationship between Rex and Riyo. The first chapter of that series, for those interested, should be posted this week.
“Careful with those proton torpedoes!”
“Don’t scratch my ship! I don’t care how well the Republic—"
“Father! Can I show Jek ze fighters?”
The small airbase on Orto Plutonia had proven more useful than Rex could have imagined. Clearing an area large enough to host more than half a dozen starships was a challenge, but the clones and the Talz braved extreme snowstorms in record time. Fortune seemed to smile on them today as the sky cleared and the wind calmed to a whisper. Ready the fleet, the breeze seemed to say. All the ships had spilled out of the hangar and into the open air, everyone enjoying the rare bout of good weather. Rex watches the fruits of his quick and dangerous labor from the edge of the field.
“Transmission from Pantora, sir.” A clone hands Rex a holoprojector, and Riyo Chuchi flickers in his palm.
“How are preparations coming along, captain?” Riyo learned to dispense with pleasantries when it came to Rex and his missions.
“Very well, senator.” Rex learned to keep his reports short when it came to Riyo and her transmissions. “It’s a tight fit with all the aircraft, but we’ll be ready in half a rotation. Hopefully by then, Echo will have transmitted the coordinates.”
Riyo nods, but can’t hide her concern. “Be careful, Rex. I can hold off the Senate for awhile, but not long. If Tantiss is as secretive and well-guarded as you say, people will want to know everything if something,” she searches for the right word, “explosive happens.”
“Understood.” Rex nods. “You be careful yourself.” It’s an earnest warning, but he looks around and finds no one within earshot. He smirks and tries his luck. “Try not to attract any more bombs while I’m busy.”
She huffs, looks around, and counters, “Try not to blow up any more bases.”
Rex returns her smile. She nods, and in an instant, she’s gone. Rex tucks the holoprojector in his belt.
“Uncle Rex!” Shaeeh calls and tugs at his arm. Rex’s heart thumps hard in his chest, taken off-guard by the surprise attack. “Can I come?”
Suu tiptoes from behind and grabs her daughter by the waist and off the ground. “Ay, no, we need someone to watch ze base while we are gone.” She nuzzles Shaeeh on the cheek before putting the child down.
“They’re ready for inspection,” Howzer announces, gesturing towards the noisy airfield. The captains fall into step.
First up are two Y wings parked across from each other. Cham Syndulla climbs down from the cockpit of one while Cut Lawquane stands up from the wheels of the other. Their kids play in the space between.
“Ready and operational, Rex,” Cut reports, wiping his hands with an oil-ridden rag.
“As iz ours,” Cham adds. “Eleni iz ‘aving some trouble with ze turret, but—”
“All fixed!” The men look up in time to see a wrench fly in the air and land with a loud clink on the ground. Eleni appears from the turret, smiling and wiping her forehead. Hera laughs as Chopper rolls loudly, arms flailing, to pick up the wrench.
“Good work.” Rex nods at the men before moving on.
Several meters away is a Nebula-class freighter. An astromech speeds from under its chassis towards Rex, stopping too late and bumping into his shins. He grunts in pain but otherwise ignores the collision. He rubs the droid’s dome.
“Hey, R7. Where’s Rafa?”
“You can’t bank at that speed, Trace!” Rafa’s voice turns the captains’ attention to the left. “The motivators will—”
“You watch! The Silver Angel can handle anything I throw at her.” Trace sees the captains watching her and her sister argue for the umpteenth time. “Oh, hey, captains.” She gives a short salute.
Howzer crosses his arms and shakes his head, but Rex is amused. It reminds him of the first time they met, right after Padmé’s--
“Whoa, Wookiee alert!” Rafa stops Rex’s train of thought. He turns to see three adult Wookiees approach from the right.
Howzer still can’t contain his shock at their ship. “How did they get their hands on a gunship?”
Rex sometimes forgets Howzer had been stationed far from most of the action of the Clone Wars. “General Tarfful fought in the Battle of Kashyyyk,” he gestures towards the heavily-armored Wookiee, “with Master Yoda. And lucky for us, he’s no friend of the Empire.”
A protocol droid ambles from behind the Wookiee general and ahead to the clone captains. “Hello, I am C3-LT, protocol droid for General Tarfful.”
Rex nods. “Please thank the general for his help. We’re well aware of the trouble on Kashyyyk and know that the Wookiees can’t spare much in the way of arms and soldiers.”
The droid turns to the Wookiee retinue and belts out a mountain of Shyriiwook. Tarfful answers in turn, and the droid translates.
“The general says that he is happy to help the clones liberate their people. He says the clones are brave warriors who will always have the Wookiees’ help whenever they ask.”
Howzer continues to be surprised, his eyes wide at the show of loyalty. Rex nods, and Tarfful drops a heavy hand on his shoulder, shaking the captain and roaring in what the clone assumes is a battle cry. The Wookiees turn around and return to their ship.
Rex starts towards the clones’ fighters at the far end of the field when a freighter lands just outside the perimeter. Everyone stops to watch. The snow settles before the ship’s pilot descends from its platform.
“Afternoon, boys,” Phee greets the approaching clones. She stops at the end of the ramp when she sees blasters aimed in her direction. “Hey now, is that any way to welcome Tech’s—”
Rex sighs and lowers a clone’s blaster with his hand, signaling everyone to stand down. “Easy, men. Echo comm’d us about this.”
Phee walks up to Rex. “Name’s Genoa. Phee Genoa.” They shake hands cautiously. “You must be the one in charge.”
“The name’s Rex. Howzer here will catch you up.” He peers behind her and up into her ship. “Where are the cadets?”
Phee smiles and calls out, “It’s alright, boys. Time to play.”
Three clone cadets appear from the belly of Phee’s ship, running in a line down the platform and stopping in a line next to Phee. “Reporting for duty, sir,” one of them announces before saluting.
Rex kneels down on one knee and addresses the boys. “Alright, troopers.” The cadets snap to attention. “Can I count on you to make sure each ship is supplied with its maximum amount of fuel before sunset?”
“Sir, yes, sir!” They chant and salute in unison before running towards the hangar.
Phee chuckles as Rex stands back up. “Is that what you did when you were a cadet? Fill up fuel tanks and clean starships?”
Rex smirks but holds off on telling her stories of caustic chemicals and hazing rituals on Kamino. Instead, he offers, “You’d be surprised what a clone cadet can do at that age.”
Phee puts a hand on his arm and presses, “Are you sure this will work?” Her concern is genuine.
Rex seems to consider her question seriously for a moment before he shrugs. “It has to.” He gestures for her to follow Howzer.
Rex turns around and gazes into the distance. The sun is beginning to hide behind a line of mountain peaks to the west. The air starts to chill. Gregor will have dinner ready soon, and Rex knows that for some, it will be their last meal. But when he turns back to the airfield, all he can see and hear are smiles and laughter, determined faces turning into friendly ones and idle conversations turning into detailed ones. Rex smiles. For now, hope is still on the horizon.
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bookishbrigitta · 9 days
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WIP Wednesday (almost)
In the same universe as my Might-as-well Monday excerpt.
Only a select few frequencies were allowed to bypass the ‘do not disturb’ setting and only in truly urgent circumstances. She stumbled out of bed and answered in a panicked haze. It wasn’t until she had picked up and began to hear the caller that she even registered who it was.
“Lumpy?”
Expecting Luke or Mon to be the one calling at this hour, her surprise must have been apparent in her voice.
[Yeah. Um, sorry to bother you. I can…I can hang up–]
“No, no!” she said. “I just wasn’t expecting it. You called for a reason. Now, what is it?”
[Do you…” She could hear him fidget over the comm. “Do you remember when you said I could call you if I ever ended up somewhere I didn’t feel…comfortable?]
“Of course,” she breathed, emotions swirling between concern for Lumpy and relief that no grave emergency had taken place. “Are you safe? Do you need me to come get you?”
More rustling noises.
“I can’t hear a nod, dear.”
[Um, yes. For both. There was a party…] 
He didn’t volunteer any more information. She didn’t ask.
“Okay. Are you hurt? Sick?”
[No.]
“Good. Can you tell me where you are?”
Lumpy rattled off an address and then amended his statement to specify that he was actually a few streets over, next to a street lamp.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Try to stay where you are, but if you can’t, call me back and let me know where you go, alright?”
[Alright.] The poor boy sounded on the verge of tears.
“It’s going to be okay, Lumpy. I promise. We’ll come back here, get some sleep, and figure everything else out in the morning.”
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aintinacage · 1 year
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SW Stills #40
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legendscon · 11 months
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Today is the late Peter Mayhew's birthday, and we have an exciting announcement related to that! We have selected The Peter Mayhew Foundation as the beneficiary of all event proceeds from LegendsCon!
The Peter Mayhew Foundation is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to alleviation of disease, pain, suffering, and the financial toll brought on by life's traumatic events. It was founded by the late Peter and Angie Mayhew. We are so happy to partner with this organization and support their amazing work!
Love the Expanded Universe? Join us for LegendsCon on September 9th & 10th at the Marriott Burbank Convention Center in California! Featured guests include Randy Stradley, Matthew Stover, Corinna Bechko, Sean Stewart, Barbara Hambly and Abel Peña. Learn more on our website, Legends-Con.com.
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apocalyp-tech-a · 1 year
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TECHING AROUND THE LIFE DAY TREE
'Twas the rotation before Life Day and all through the Marauder,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Mouse droid-er.  [Lol.]
After exchanging stories about Rex and Cody of yore,
Echo and Hunter fell asleep at the comms and softly snored.
Crosshair up on his rack, a toothpick dangling from his lips,
And Wrecker on his, holding Lula in his gentle giant grip.
Last, but not least, Tech settled in the cockpit's pilot chair,
Where the lights of the dash and hyperspace flickered in his goggles with flare.
(continued on ao3)
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racingtoaredlight · 5 months
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Star Wars or Star Trek: A Guest Post by Jayhawk88
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The uniqueness of the human condition offers our species many advantages (and arguably disadvantages); chief among these may be our ability for introspection. Who are we? What is our purpose in life, in the universe? And, perhaps the most important question of all: Which is better, Star Wars or Star Trek?
Lesser minds recoil from the question, content to insulate themselves in cowardly phrases such as “A matter of opinion”. We here at the RTARL Research Institute, however, are made of sterner stuff. All questions suggest - demand! - an answer, and if we must tread in God’s domain to achieve enlightenment, then so be it. In this regard, we present: Star Wars v. Star Trek.
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MONEY
While certainly a somewhat distasteful method of measurement, it cannot be denied that money is, in our capitalist society, a primary motivator in the production of entertainment media. It also provides us with clear, hard data as well.
Star Wars Cumulative Box Office (source: Statista.com) - $10.33 Billion, as of July 2023
Star Trek Cumulative Box Office (source: Box Office Mojo) - $1.48 Billion (last movie Sept 2022)
Unsurprisingly, Star Wars is the clear winner, though perhaps not to such a degree as one might have expected. It should be noted that we do not adjust box office numbers to account for inflation, in both cases. While this does weigh more recent entries more heavily as a result, the standard is applied to both franchises, and both franchises have stayed relatively on pace (11 Star Wars movies, 10 Star Trek). We also do not consider the profits of television properties as the box office is impossible to determine.
Winner: Star Wars
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VOLUME
Over the years there have been 22 Star Wars movies or regular series, and 24 Star Trek. A note here: We determine these numbers by referring to rated movies or series on Rotten Tomatoes, and acknowledge that these numbers do not include certain one-off specials (i.e. The Star Wars Holiday Special) or series clearly designed for younger target audiences (i.e. Droids, Ewok Adventures). Not only did finding ratings for such properties prove difficult, but our researchers felt the esoteric nature would potentially skew our later results in Ratings.
While clearly Star Trek is the winner here, it could be argued that the results are close enough that it could be considered essentially a tie. However, we must point out that Star Trek contains many more television series episodes than Star Wars (close to 900 episodes total). As the measurement is Volume, or amount of potential entertainment, Star Trek becomes a clear winner.
Winner: Star Trek
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RATINGS
Again referencing Rotten Tomatoes:
Star Wars: Average Review Score: 80.1%.
Star Wars Average Audience Score: 72.3%
Star Trek: Average Review Score: 77%.
Star Trek Average Audience Score: 71.3%
It may be statistically significant that the difference between Review and Audience scores for Star Trek is slimmer than that of Star Wars, by over 2 percentage points. However, without further research we must rely on the hard data.
Winner: Star Wars
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CULTURAL IMPACT
Star Wars: A New Hope is largely credited with creating the movie “blockbuster”, as patrons famously lined up around city blocks to see it in 1977. One could also argue that it created the concept of the “movie trilogy” as well. And certainly, Star Wars revived Hollywood’s obsession with science-fiction as well, which had waned since sci-fi’s golden age in the 50’s.
Conversely, Star Trek helped to revive science-fiction programming on television, though perhaps not to the same degree of success until more recent times. Star Trek is also credited with helping to create the concept of the Sci-Fi Convention.
Finally, we note that Star Wars was famously referenced by corporate super-villain Ronald Reagan to describe a weapons platform in the 80’s, while the iPad was famously compared to Star Trek PADD devices when first released.
Winner: Draw
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FAN ANNOYANCE
You are trapped in a room for 96 hours with two other people. You know that one is a Star Wars fanatic, and one is a Star Trek fanatic. You possess a handgun with one bullet, but must not use it on yourself, as at the end of the 96 hours you will be awarded $1 billion. Who are you killing? We may not be able to quantify this result scientifically, but there is nevertheless a clear winner.
Winner: Star Trek.
COOLEST LUNCHBOX
With the score tied, we must resort to drastic measures to determine a clear winner.
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A very solid offering from Star Trek.
However:
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Come on, now. Even a beaten, scratched, 40-year-old version is incredible beyond words. If this doesn’t instantly turn you into a 9-year-old child, you’re dead inside. DEAD.
Winner: Star Wars
OVERALL WINNER: STAR WARS
As serious, professional scienticians, we try not to go into an experiment with preconceived biases or expectations. However, the RTARL Research Institute feels it must express surprise at the results. Does this mean, however, that Star Trek is inferior to Star Wars, and all fan-related Trek activity should cease? Clearly, the answer is yes. We call upon the governments and international corporations of the world to begin a systematic effort to eradicate Star Trek from all of human record, and ensure that it will never see the light of creation again. While some may find this unfortunate, it is no less than science demands.
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musewrangler · 1 year
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“I dare you to say it.”
Veers lifted that damn eyebrow at him and Piett pressed his lips together in frustration.
He was not good at this.
Even after a year where a small group of people had showed him beyond doubt that he could depend on their care and compassion, he was not good at allowing anyone to do so without protest that it was a massive inconvenience to them.
Max was now openly smirking at his discomforture.
“Veers…” Piett tried, deciding to focus on using his ‘Imperial’ voice as the General had unflatteringly named it. “It’s just that…”
Veers waited and Force damn it, Piett couldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“Fine,” he huffed. He would not apologize for the amount of trouble he was causing everyone.
It was day four of his enforced bed rest and Piett wanted to crawl out of his skin with impatience to be up and useful.
The trouble was, his caretakers knew him quite well and could strike at the heart of his protests in ways with which he couldn’t argue.
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uailogenos · 1 year
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engagemythrusters · 11 months
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yknow its so funny bc in comparison to the megaflora and megafauna of kashyyyk, the wookiees are absolutely tiny
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thecoolguy24601 · 1 year
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uwmspeccoll · 2 years
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CHEWIE!!! May the 4th be with you!
This May 4th we highlight everyone’s favorite woolly character, Chewbacca the Wookiee -- or, as Princess Leia once referred to him as “this big walking carpet.” Trusty first officer of Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon, he is loyal, fearsome, and a Wookiee of . . . well, many words, but all of it unintelligible.
These images are from the Dark Horse comic book Star Wars, Chewbacca, produced as a limited series of four issues published from January 2000 to April 2000 (we only hold numbers 2-4). The story is written by Darko Macan. The credits for the issues shown here are as follows:
Issue No. 2: illustrated by Jan Duursema and Dave Gibbons, penciled by Dusty Abell, inked by Jim Royal, and colored by Color Graphix, Angus McKie, and Dave Nestelle. Issue No. 3: illustrated by Martin Egeland and Kilian Plunkett, penciled by John Nadeau, inked by Jordi Ensign, and colored by Dan Jackson, Color Graphix, and Dave Nestelle. Issue No. 4: illustrated by Rafael Kayanan, penciled by Dusty Abell, inked by Jim Royal, and colored by Heroic Age and Dave Nestelle. 
Our copy is a gift from our comic book consultant Jim Lowder.
View our previous Star Wars Day posts.
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starwarsfangirl · 2 years
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Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
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forcesung · 1 year
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As they drew closer to the crowded porch, Han began to hear Wookiee voices booming from the entrance to the council circle. They were speaking in Xaczik—the difficult Wartaki Island dialect they had used to fool their Imperial slave masters three wars ago—so Han could not quite catch what the delegates were saying. But it did sound like the council was close to agreement. The current speaker was roaring speech rather than groaning it, and the exclamations threatening to drown him out were clearly being made in enthusiasm rather than dispute.
—Legacy of the Force: Inferno, Troy Denning
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