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#words from the soul
creatinghelen · 1 year
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some days are hard. and in those days, please be kind to yourself. please give yourself grace. please treat yourself like someone you love. warm up some soup. make some tea. tell yourself that it’s going to be alright, because it will be. it will be.
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her-penetrating-soul · 10 months
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I love you 💋
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havootu · 2 months
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Misery LOVES Chaos!
My my my.... What a harsh lesson, Mother.
The past few days have been the most intense in a long while. I don't think I've been this spiritually beat up in a minute. Lol
The Mother has shown me my deepest pain... And it's been a hard look.
Even as I write these words I'm on the verge of tears. My breath is short and there's a weight on my chest, a lump in my throat. Long held screams, on the verge of busting, circulating like a spiral, expanding outward into a tight space that has long been confined by the limitations of fear and truth. Mother I'm in debt to you.
As I write these words, I am reminded that misery loves chaos, and goes searching for it like a crack addict. I have to be reminded I am not alone in this burning fiend within myself. I have to watch more chaos unfold. If not inflicting it on others, watching it being taken out on strangers. The gag is there are no strangers, I find that in their perceived pain, I'm just inflicting it on myself. I know this because if the hate isnt spread just right. If the inflicted party isn't in just the right amount of pain I see fit. IM FURIOUS!
What a sick joke! What a sick way to be! A one way street to insanity, because we do it all the time to each other, hoping for a "new" feel of relief, and never receiving it. If not physically, or verbally to someone else, then we want to see it on TV in the story lines, or in social media. Mobbing the hated, canceling the party, till they are beat down to nothing, and then even an apology isn't good enough. "You have to hurt harder till you're nothing!" What a sick culture! And we all play a part in it!
Guilt opens like a burning flower in me, smoke filling my lungs, burning my eyes, stopping me from moving forward in any way. Now I am the target too the atrocities within myself. And around and around we go.
You showed me my chaos through others who spread hate and anger, who are DEEPLY hurt and battered. And I feast on it like the last desperate meal I'll ever get, attract it, look for it. Look for things to hate, so I don't have to turn around and see how much I've been hating me....
And thats the truth!
I've taken the time to look at my influences, people I watch and follow. So filled with hatred, steming from a deep sadness, too afraid to speak it. Don't know how to speak it. Ego has them gripped like a beaten, bleeding slave, afraid to show pain, in fear of a worse beating to come. I see myself in them. Watching it is like a sick twisted way to express it through their hate. Getting it off my chest, without dealing with the truth of the matter. I'm sick of it! Although I inflict no pain on others directly, by giving attention to it, I approve the action. Embolden the party to continue their actions, I want no part of it any more!
Now expressing anger and deep sadness is healthy. It serves me no good being bottled up inside, but in a responsible way, in an open way I can express it through words, activities and art. Some hard conversations with the divine. In the bosom of the Mother Goddess, crying, kicking and screaming, lol, I know you'll hear me and soothe me Mother.
I deserve better from this life. I deserve better from me. I want no more part in the cycle of anger hatred and sadness we inflict on each other, but my most importantly ourselves.
Deep honor to the Mother Goddess Kali for this deep soul lesson. Dear Mother, you have my life❤️.
-Havoo
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korina21 · 1 year
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Sub plopii cu flori
Sub plopii mari cu flori de gheată/ Pe câmpul rece, plin de ceață,/ În lumea asta trecătoare,/ M-ai cuprins în a ta îmbrațișare. 
Timpul zboară, vremea e tot rece/ Pe lângă noi, totul trece,/ Timp, soare, furtună și ploi/ Și noi...am rămas doar doi. 
Singuri și goi, pe câmp, amândoi/ Învăluiți de vise, de șoapte aprinse/ Am întors timpul și vremea, / Slăbiciunea și durerea...în flori. 
Sub plopii mari cu flori de viață/ Pe câmpul cald, plin de verdeață/ În lumea asta visătoare,/ M-ai surprins c-o sărutare. 
Timpul stă pe loc, vremea s-a mbunat/ Pe lângă noi, nimic nu s-a mișcat./ Dorință, speranță, iubire și o viață,/ Suntem noi...noi doi. 
Cu un sărut și-o mbrățișare,/ Cu a ta voce îmbietoare,/ M-ai vrăjit și m-ai luat cu tine/ Sub plopii mari cu flori de veșnicie. 
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hydetheghost · 2 months
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my soul feels so heavy and my body so weak.
every step is a battle against gravity.
it's so hard to resist just closing my eyes and feel asleep for eternity.
I dont know, but even living seems so hard.
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hotnerdywizard · 4 months
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In other news:
A sweet, romantic, eloquent wizard has stolen my soul and I never, ever want it back.
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findafight · 1 year
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Okay I kept thinking about this post and Steve being a BNF of Corroded Coffin message board of the internet of yore.
Alright so way back in the nineties Suzie hooks everyone up with the internet, yes? Yes. Eddie and Steve got together in '92 after some mutual pining and a few disastrous relationships that couldn't handle 1) Steve and Robin's general QPR clinginess 2) Eddie's intensity 3) the secrecy required if having multiple years of monster fighting and subsequent NDAs and the trauma associated therein. They're older and more settled and ready for an Adult Relationship.
Corroded Coffin is gaining traction and doing really well and the internet is still a brave new frontier, so Steve says to Eddie something like "I'm going to see if there's some message boards about you 🥰" and find them he sure does. So he makes accounts and posts under the username EddiesOnlyGroupie because he's hilarious and also the mods banned him from using EddieMunsonsHusband (he figured it was fine on the internet because nobody actually knew who he was but APPARENTLY NOT homophobia lives on in the digital age). He gets pretty well known in the Corroded Coffin fandom, most assuming he's a woman because he will go off on how hot Eddie looked at a gig. Like. Saying unhinged internet shit because 1) true and 2) he and Eddie think it's so funny. Everyone kinda believes the groupie thing too because of all the performance pics he's able to post and how he'll sometimes offer tidbits if knowledge about the band.
When they transition from chatrooms to livejournal etc he follows, with the same username. He's kind of a legend by the mid aughts. EOG is the acronym people use when discussing theories on his identity, and he's like "guys I'm literally his only groupie it's self explanatory. Guys why don't you believe me Eddie hasn't slept with anyone but me since 1992. We're basically married". He goes "it's not a mystery we literally are in love and Jeff and I go to Cubs games and cry when they inevitably lose together. Gareth is Godfather to my cats" (Eddie is still offended that he was not named Sassafras and Moonshine's godfather when Steve and Robin adopted them in '89). No one believes him.
Possibly because he still thirsts after Eddie and whenever someone posts a new Eddie pic those in the know wait for him to pop up with comments like "I want to bite his neck omg" "he has no ass but nobody is perfect I'll settle between his thighs anyway" and "literally a crime I am not married to him right now what the fuck" As twitter grows he swoops in to grab his handle, and follows a bunch of other CC fan accounts (some of them old friends, some of them new to the scene)(EOG 100% has his own fanlore page, which also has speculation on who he is and how he gets all the bts pics. It also doesn't believe when he says what it says on the tin. He's Eddie's only groupie.)
tumblr and tiktok come round and Steve is like. Openly horny on main. He's seen some shit go down on the internet but he's still commenting on Eddie fan edits that are title shit like "why am I attracted to this middle-aged white man" and "retro cc fancam" with things like "I'd let him lick the inside of my ear and only bring it up to tease him on special occasions" "his FINGERS" "back in '89 Jeff and Howie and Claire staged a mutany over this song because they were 'sick of Eddie only writing about biting bats' lmao" and "Jeff is my favourite member of cc"(just to stir the pot)
Eddie comes out in the 2010's and he's like "yeah I've been in a long term relationship with someone who is usually mostly a man kinda (gender is fucky) for the past twenty years, lol. His name's Steve. I love him a lot even if he mocks me online." and of course EOG comments "the mods of that old message board should have let me keep my original handle of EddieMunsonsHusband. When're you gonna make it reality, Munson? smh" and everyone is like Huh?? EOG is a MAN? And he's like yeah? Sometimes?? Not always?
(He 100% thinks this is him telling people he's Eddie's Steve. They don't get the message)
Anyways life goes on Steve continues to thirst under pictures of Eddie, he has his pronouns and name in his bio on twitter (Steve, he/him, she/her, Eddie Munson's first and only groupie 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ) and continues to post behind the scenes photos that shockingly few people question (she always says "because I'm his groupie" though. He and Eddie think this is VERY funny and also true. Robin groans. They've been making the same joke for two decades.) and people believe it because Eddie has interacted EOG sometimes, liking photos or videos, commenting sometimes. (Steve has a more professional realname account that he rarely uses but Eddie usually tags Steve there)
And THEN Internet user EddiesOnlyGroupie says he's taking a few weeks off for her honeymoon because "I'm finally marrying the man of my dreams!" And people are happy for him but also bummed because Eddie is also taking a two week hiatus but EOG promises wedding and honeymoon photos. (Face reveal! Sorta!)((he doesn't get why people are excited because he's pretty sure he's been in a lot of Eddie's recent pictures, but whatever)
Imagine the Internet's surprise when Eddie Munson posts a collection of pictures spanning '86 to his 2016 wedding of him and Steve, including one of Steve looking seriously at an old desktop computer, captioned "Steve starting his internet career" and tags EOG.
Steve qrt with "I told yall. I'm his only groupie, and they should've let me keep EddieMunsonsHusband even if they WERE homophobic. Because now it's TRUE"
Niche internet community drama chaos ensues.
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jojo-schmo · 1 month
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Gently kisses you like you’re my greatest treasure, my most precious partner
bonus for top right doodle:
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wordsbyjenpoetry · 7 months
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True intimacy is about touching the mind, heart and soul.
Click to hear me speak 🗣️
Music by Peder B Helland
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princesspete · 3 months
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Shield (noun): something or someone that protects or defends
Pete Wentz's blog - archived (April 25, 2008) / Fall Out Boy: Take This Back To Your Grave - Alternative Press Issue 303 (October 2013) / Patrick Stump - Warped Tour (2005) / Fall Out Boy Q+A - archived (Mary 15, 2006) / Pete Wentz's blog - archived (June 15, 2006) / Fall Out Boy - Smoke and Mirrors (January 2018) / Pete Wentz - Pete Wentz's Instagram story (2023) / At Home With Pete Wentz - excerpt from Q magazine (2007) / One and Only
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the-meme-monarch · 28 days
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making an animatic is so embarrassing. hey do you want to see the 26 second video I’m drawing. yeah it’s to a funny audio. do you mind if i show it to you twelve more times over the course of a week
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literary journey.
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"He who loves, sows. He who listens to his heart, reaps."
—  Juan Francisco Palencia.
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…🤍 ‿You truly are my perfection💋⁀🤍
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thinking thoughts about swords symbolizing the corruption of the institute and the control it has over the kingdom. the sword motif is absolutely everywhere - banners and art, kids’ games and cereal commercials, the statue of gloreth at the center of the kingdom. the institute building itself boasts even more - there are tons of statues and suits of armor, all holding swords. swords are everywhere you look!
another example is the way ballister and his swords are used as a tool by the director. he’s knighted with the same fake sword that kills the queen, highlighting how the system can only thrive on manipulation and deceit - the director can only have control over the kingdom if she lies to it, which she does primarily through ballister. he also immediately tries to go to his sword when he finds out nimona is a shapeshifter, as he hasn’t yet unlearned the values taught to him by the institute. the director keeps his real sword the whole time and uses it to try to kill who she thinks is ambrosius, planning to frame ballister for that murder too, which becomes a major turning point in his arc as he decides to abandon the sword as he no longer wants to be part of her game.
but even though he’s made the choice to reject the institute, he still struggles to unlearn its values. he’s been brainwashed from a young age, and had plenty of time to internalize false notions about heroes and villains and monsters. while he cares deeply about nimona at this point, he still instinctively goes to draw his (other) sword when he learns she’s the “monster” from the legend of gloreth.
one of the ways the director retains power is through gloreth - since she’s considered the symbol of righteousness and heroism, the ideal to which all knights should strive, she’s invoked at every moment possible. the scroll bearing the legend is used to justify killing nimona, and “the will of gloreth” is used to justify practically everything. ballister’s sword has a G on it, which is visible right before he gets knighted, and ambrosius’s sword looks just like the one the statue holds aloft. (gloreth didn’t actually have a sword like that, at least not when she knew nimona, but nobody knows this - the real story had been warped and twisted to fit the narrative so much over the course of a thousand years.)
ambrosius, being her descendant and the golden boy, finds it even more challenging to realize the institute is corrupt. he’s also been brainwashed and forced into a role, and there has always been an immense amount of pressure on him to follow in her footsteps. so when he meets ballister in the tavern he places ballister’s sword on the table and suggests killing nimona, as this is what the institution wants. ballister, who knows that nimona isn’t the one to blame, angrily walks out and leaves the sword laying there, trying to leave both it and the institute behind again.
ambrosius becomes understandably reluctant to use his sword for anything violent after cutting off ballister’s arm. he doesn’t draw it when leading a squadron of knights to find nimona and ballister, even when everyone else has their weapons trained. he points it at them and doesn’t use it when he and the other knights have them surrounded. at one point he even places it in front of the director in the effort to protect her. (he seems to be very loyal to her for reasons i’ve touched on here, and is still heavily under the influence of the institute at this point in time.) in fact, the only time he ever actually uses his sword going forward is the fight with ballister, but even then he’s not really fighting exactly, just deflecting ballister’s sword. he doesn’t try to get in a single strike, not wanting to hurt ballister again or give him any more reason to hate him.
nimona, having grown up under very different circumstances, knocks over suits of armor that have swords. she destroys the statues that hold them. when she and gloreth play fight as children, gloreth holds a toy sword while nimona holds a stick.
everything is inverted at the climax - when every other knight is running around with weapons, ambrosius doesn’t draw his sword. he stands in the middle of the street and asks aloud, “what are we doing?” as he’s finally able to see how corrupt and how dangerous the institute is.
and nimona is the one who seeks out gloreth’s sword, and ballister is the one who lets his own sword fall, breaking the cycle and rejecting the institute’s values once and for all in order to save her.
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lethalcontracts · 20 days
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--The Warden of Rend--
A collab between @zika-the-certified-idiot and myself of Clay as a dark souls inspired boss!
Zika did the body rendering, while i did the initial base sketch, base face and hood rendering and the weather/background!
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hogans-heroes · 4 days
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My funeral is tomorrow at 4:00 you’re all invited
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