#words to live by
“Personally, I’m a mess of conflicting impulses—I’m independent and greedy and I also want to belong and share and be a part of the whole. I doubt that I’m the only one who feels this way. It’s the core of monster making, actually. Wanna make a monster? Take the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortable—your weaknesses, bad thoughts, vanities, and hungers—and pretend they’re across the room. It’s too ugly to be human. It’s too ugly to be you.
Let me tell you what I do know: I am more than one thing, and not all of those things are good. The truth is complicated. It’s two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet. I used to think that if I dug deep enough to discover something sad and ugly, I’d know it was something true. Now I’m trying to dig deeper.”
— Richard Siken, Black Telephone
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“Part of maintaining your energy is limiting other people’s access to it” - carajojo // isuperbloom.com
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I know it’s not fucking easy, I know it hurts. You’re sitting there overthinking, a million and one questions running through your head. Unable to sleep, creating different scenarios in your mind, while making a mental list of regrets but you can’t keep blaming yourself for someone else’s inability to provide the type of love you deserve. Tonight is just like any other night, difficult as hell but you’ll do what you’ve always done. You’ll get over it. You’ll get through it. You’ll be fine.
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When you try to control the outcome, it means you feel fearful.
And fearful is not living in the end. Fearful is a completely opposite state of trust. That is why you need to embody the state of faith, peace, unconditional love towards yourself because you are the world you seek to experience.
If you are constantly worrying about the future, trying to force the event to happen, the person to notice you, you are living in lack. And it is not the reality you want to experience. That is why uncomfortable situations are going to replay over and over again. To change that, you need to trust yourself, love yourself no matter the emotions raging in you right now because you know you are that powerful, and you get to stabilize how you feel. You can also forgive yourself for the past, for what you did not know and persist with knowing that you are creating the most amazing reality starting right now. No resentment. No fear. No doubting. The emotion you are after is already within you: the love, the ease, the joy. You don’t need external conditions to influence your wellbeing. You are already it. Then everything around you becomes the natural extension of your feeling state.
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There is so much contentment when you are grateful for the things Allah has given you. The more you are thankful for your blessings, the more Allah will increase you as He promised. This is why the Prophet ﷺ said,
“...the best du’a is ‘Alhamdulillah’.”
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isn't it crazy how the world works?
everything seems to point you in a direction, so
you take it
you fail it
you look for direction again, and repeat
isn't it crazy
to think our lives are mostly
routine built from habits built from mindset?
you fake it
you fail it
you look for new habits again, and repeat
and eventually something gets stuck:
something wrong, or something right
but we can choose to take it and make it
what we want it to be;
we can choose to aim for the light
and trust we'll be landing somewhere bright
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“For those who are lost, there will always be cities that feel like home.”
― Simon Van Booy, Everything Beautiful Began After
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This is the part no one ever tells you about: even if you have supposedly let go, if you’re convinced that you’ve fully moved on, there can still be incidents that will feel like a blow to your chest. Scenarios you couldn’t have imagined in your wildest dreams that will make you lose faith in the process of healing. Some days will be difficult. Our scars will itch, our skin will stretch over our bones to the point of breaking and it will all seem hopeless. And these difficult days might not even happen at the start of your journey. They can still happen after things have been okay for months. For years. Sometimes a mere inconvenience is enough to tear our skin back open, to make us bleed again. Whatever takes us back to that bad place doesn't have to be something that feels significant. It can be as small as stumbling over a photo you were sure you’d thrown away while clearing out your closet. Or overhearing a single word in a conversation that reminds you of the time you couldn't see past the dark thoughts in your head. And this thing that felt so small might be enough to transport you back to that time that was full of hurt, full of grief. Please know that healing isn’t linear. There is no straight line from beginning to end. There will be setbacks. There will be days when you think you can’t do it. When you don't see the point in fighting anymore. Let's stop expecting other people to have their shit together after a certain amount of time has passed. Stop expecting it of yourself. Because truth is none of us really have their shit together, or have been at this point in life often enough that we understand. For some reason we just don't want to admit it. We might all have different triggers, have all been through different situations, but in the end we all know one thing: healing is not easy. It takes time, no matter how much. It takes space. So forgive others for needing more time. And forgive yourself, if right now you are not exactly who you want to be and where you want to be.
Please remember: there will be setbacks. And that's okay.
setbacks / n.j.
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Affirmations for anxious days
Credit: stacieswift (IG)
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It's what life is all about.
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Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.
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It is not about non-reaction to 3D.
It is about how you react.
You cannot switch off your feelings. You cannot stifle your emotions. But you can control them, namely: choosing how you want to feel at the moment, not being susceptible to how something or somebody makes you feel. You are not the puppet. You are the mastermind.
Whenever you respond to somebody’s lack of attention by craving their validation — you are persisting in desperate attempts to be seen. When, in fact: You are already seen.
You need to step into the reality where you feel wanted, loved, accepted. How to do that? Know you are already there. Imagine any current unwanted reality melting away when you step into the true reality — the one created in your powerful, confident, unfuckable, mind. You would never complain, whine, be loud just to get someone’s attention since you already got it. How would you react? Calm. Enjoying yourself. Laughing. Appreciating. Taking time for yourself. Doing something nice for others. Especially being kind. Think about it, since you already have everything you ever wanted, you really could not care less about any mean comments, criticism, trying to make somebody to like you. You are already IT. Respond to 3D with confidence and self belief.
For example, when you are in no contact situation with your SP, you are miserable and feeling incomplete. When they reach out to you, suddenly you become euphoric and hopeful. That is total control of your emotions through external sources. Do not give up your power that easily.
You are already whole and complete without the need to see any confirmation.
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Understanding and pretending to understand are vastly different. Still as long as you actually make the effort, try your best to because the care is there, then that's something anyway. But making out like it touches you deeply too when really you couldn't care less is unconscionable. Claiming to get it just as long as it doesn't paint you in a less-than-stellar light says your ego calls the shots so true understanding is not something you actually get...understand?
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"If you're happy [...], fucking ride that comet, little prince!" -Justin McElroy, MBMBaM 141
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