health update - procedure TW
my head is in 'on' mode right now and I've been really emotionally upset so it's been a super shitty couple of weeks. but the fact that I have less severe weeks here and there is still a sign of progress!! I am speaking it into existence!!
I've had the gastro problems for a long while now but I really hoped when they went away for months (before my diet change) that they'd stay gone, but they're almost worse now. a lot of pain/bloating/discomfort and all that
anyway, endoscopy and colonoscopy on thursday. getting extremely worried about it as per usual and I'm afraid I'll be wide awake like I was for the bone marrow biopsy. everyone is like 'you're gonna be asleep or not remember it' which is what they told me with the BM biopsy and yeah that wasn't true!!
I do not want to be conscious with a tube down my throat and into my stomach and remember it forever. like I don't need more medical trauma and it already makes me want to cry lol
no one has really explained it which leaves me to googling which leaves me to panicking lmao so I'm gonna call tomorrow and ask about what it's going to be like, what I can do to make it easier, what they can do to make it easier etc etc. maybe I'll feel slightly better going in but idk. all I can think about is the worst of the worst. she did tell me it should only be 45 minutes so we will see
gonna be eating low fiber tomorrow, then wednesday is gonna be fun with no solid food at all. and I will be on the toilet all night after. at least the procedure is earlyish on thursday but I am concerned how this is going to screw with my head. stress, movement, straining, and lying down flat or on my side builds an immense amount of pressure so yeah... I'm scared. and it's really hard to convince doctors I have IIH because I'm not officially diagnosed but we are TREATING it like IIH. they never take me seriously, as per usual, and it's something that causes me such agony but I don't know how to get them to take me seriously still
I hope it goes well and I hope I can give some good news on thursday. if you can spare any well wishes, I'd really appreciate it. love you all
MAAM ARE YOU BACK!?!?! I HAVE MISSED YOU
Hello my LOVE!!!!
It sure appears this way. I have been online 3 days in a row, which is unheard of recently. I want to be back. Tumblr is such a wild ride!
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un pas fragile was cute!
yall... i might be riding this mood swing since saturday but atleast im not a miserable bitch anymore.. like i can be going through this and keep it the fuck together and guess what!!! i have my own place and im in college and i have a job i love and feelings arent gonna ruin that for me!!! i can feel like shit and be having a flare of my stomach problems and still be living!! feeling bad for yourself seems necessary sometimes but the second you decide to just fucking Deal With It shit does get better!!
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Tatiana, extremely tired: Well, we seem to have had a disaster.
Kaminari, wrapped in Sero's tape: Yeah Miss Qwartz....we have....
Tatiana: *sighing and pulling a giant golden staff outta nowhere* Alright, fuck it, I'll wind time back a little bit so you can avoid it.
Kaminari: MA'AM WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WIND TIME BACK A LITTLE BIT"-
ocean, thrill, and warning for the spring ask game?
Hi there, nonnie! I hope that you're having a lovely day 🥰🥰🥰
Ocean - what’s your favorite sea creature?
Ooooooh I have a few, actually. It'd have to be a tie between whale sharks, leafy sea dragons, and dolphins! Sea creatures in general have always interested me, but these are my faves 💙
Thrill - what is one thing you’re looking forward to?
Being done with my summer classes! I'm only taking two but the course load is quite condensed, and while I enjoy them, it'll be a huge relief to have them out of the way.
Warning - what would your warning label say?
WARNING: agressive hugger!
Honestly, it could say a lot of things tho lmao
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it's really hard out here on these namkook streets, they have no consideration for my well being 😔
I saw this cute picture by @superstar-rockin-jay and I really wanted to color it. Hope it turned out to you liking! Your art style is really cute!!
I’m fiddling with my energy again. Impressions of very dark grey with some dark purple. You know Hexxus from Ferngully? His sludge form?
Yeah, that’s what it reminds me of in sensation. It’s also kinda dense but I’m not sure the full extent of density. I used to think I was physically dirty before I realized what I was feeling was me (aka recently). I’d try to wash the feeling off and it would come back very shortly after. It is possible that water just provided a sensory distraction to the feeling so I stopped noticing for a bit.
It bubbles. It’s like when you boil water and just before the full boil, you get one or two bubbles at the top and they pop back into it. Sometimes, it feels like it has tendrils or some equivalent. I can’t really manipulate it too much? It takes effort and seems to outright refuse at times.
I’m not quite sure what this energy is for sure. I won’t judge by appearance/tactile impressions though my thing with both void & eldritch energy and not being bothered by them like a lot of people report and how certain energies clash with me to the point of making me sick may be a hint. No matter, though. It’s interesting to me and it’s apparently mine.
I was tagged by @iamnathanscott 🤗 Thanks ka!!!!!
rules: drop a screenshot of the top portion of your spotify home page, explain your playlists (if you have any), share your account and tag your mutuals to do the same!
so hm.... this is a reflection of what i listen while i’m working, basically.
folk & acoustic mix: okay this one i was just listening while i was reading cuz it’s more soothing! it includes hozier, city and color, mumford and sons, passanger, james bay.
daily drive: i listen to this every day first thing when i start working and i found it to be very useful since it has news podcasts so i can keep up with the news in a fast way and also most of my favorite songs (harry, louis, simple plan, all time low, the maine... it’s just *chef’s kiss*) so kudos to spotify for reinventing the radio in a more personal way basically lol
falando de nada: it’s a brazilian podcast with two brazilian online entertainment personalities who talk about... nothing (that’s the translation of the name of the podcast lol), i mean they do talk about most entertainment news about movies and tv shows, but also about random things about their lives, so they keep me company while i’m doing the boring parts of my job cuz i’ve been catching up with their oldest episodes
pop punk powerhouses: this one i was actually listening while cleaning the house yesterday hahaha it’s one of my to-go playlists cuz it has most of my favorite classic emo songs
daily mix 5 and daily mix 3: they vary, so.... right now my daily mix 5 is a bit pop rock/punk mix with weezer, snow patrol, green day, you me at six and so on, and my daily mix 6 now has chvrches, of monster and men, 1975, the killers... it’s very miscellaneous if i’m honest hahahaha
if anyone wanna follow me on spotify 👀
i’ll tag @vintageumbroshirt @ashes-and-dust @tattooedlovers @muchbetterjulia @quelsentiment @justalarryblog @solvetheminourdreams @aliensyndrome if you’d like to do it!
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started thinking ab my hernia and lo u get symptoms brains r fuckin stupid
my thighs are an inch and 1/2 smaller than last time i measured…. im still like 4” away from my goal but ugh thats so nice
7 Florist AU + 51 Accidentally married! xoxo Princessfbi
It turns out that when you are really sleep deprived and you've been living off coffee and protein shakes and bite-sized taste testers for canapes and wedding cake for the last five days, a confidential marriage license can look an awful lot like an order form. They're both white, with text on them, and little section boxes, and you fill them out, and.... Okay, so maybe Buck is just really sleep deprived.
He doesn't know what Eddie's excuse is.
Maybe Eddie is just as sleep deprived because Buck woke him up at five o'clock in the morning calling in a panic because he realised that in his aforementioned sleep deprived state he ordered two dozen of the wrong flower arrangements for his sister's wedding. The wedding that is in less than two weeks. The wedding that Buck spent most of yesterday telling Maddie he had completely under control and she did not need to stress about it at all.
(And maybe he's a little more stressed about it than he should be because her last wedding was... well, it was to Doug, so enough said there. This one has to be perfect.)
"I'll head into the shop early for you," Eddie tells him. "Is seven-thirty okay?"
So Buck shows up at Daisy a Day at 7.30, ready to fill out a new order form and bribe Eddie with as much coffee as it takes to get him to put the order at the top of his priority list. He's not entirely sure how the mix-up happens. Buck drops the folder of wedding planning documents he's carrying—the one Maddie left at his apartment two days ago—and when he picks all the papers back up and shuffles them into some kind of order, the new florist order form that Eddie just handed him isn't on top anymore.
Now, the last time Buck did this, he had to fill out all his personal information on one form, then Eddie completed the business information section, then they discussed what he wanted and Eddie logged it straight into the computer system. So he doesn't think twice about writing out his name and date of birth and all the other personal information, tied neatly together with a signature at the bottom. Halfway through, Eddie answers a phone call—some kind of drama with his son and school, Buck isn't paying attention—and when Buck slides the form back to him, he picks up a pen, most of his attention still on the phone, and absently fills out the rest of it.
The new flower arrangement order goes into the computer system.
The marriage license ends up back in Buck's folder.
Two hours later, Buck meets Maddie and Chimney for a meeting with the officiant. They go through the schedule for the ceremony, then just before they leave to go for brunch, Buck hands over the pile of papers Maddie had earmarked for the officiant.
He's not entirely clear on what happens next, but at some point the completed marriage certificate must end up with a handful of others that the officiant needs to file. At some point after that, it ends up with the county clerk.
Neither Buck nor Eddie realise what has happened until the marriage certificates arrive in the mail and then Eddie calls him up like "oh my god what did we do". Maddie is Not Impressed but she also laughs so hard she snorts coffee out her nose so Buck doesn't think she's too mad. Eddie and Buck are friends but they're not dating (just endlessly pining) but when Buck apologises profusely and says they can start the steps to undo it immediately, Eddie finally finds some courage and says, "You're going to divorce me before we've even had our first date?"
And that is the story of how they got accidentally married three years before they actually got married.
Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.
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good morning it's so early :(
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It’s not great (probably shouldn’t have used the creepy Eugene doll as a base) but I attempted to make myself a Dimitri doll
🌒Shadow Work Links🌘
Neil from Monsters & Manuscripts showing up for Pride Month 🌈
This sweet human boi is in over his head and he doesn’t even realize it yet. His journey is one of acceptance—of himself and others, as he works to find himself in between the pages.