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#worst anxiety ive ever had
ra-vio · 8 months
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Kainé, my beloved u_u
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rouge-the-bat · 1 year
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honestly i dont like the bi-lesbian.carrd someone made bc it was originally using my flags but now it has no mention of them whatsoever. and i feel like it was probably due to that ass who put me on a callout and was literally stalking me, claiming im "dangerous" or whatever bc of some fiction related opinions?? it just feels rude that ive spent so much time making a space safe for fellow mspec lesbians and mspec gays on my bi-lesbian blog and compiling information explaining the use of the labels and its history to fight against exclusionist hate and creating the flags and symbols for the community only for a now somewhat commonly linked source for bi lesbianism to not even mention my flags and symbols which were made before the mspec lesbian flags shown on there. like maybe im thinking too much into it and it has nothing to do with the callout but considering some (but not all) of the flags shown off are from people who have spread my callout before... :/
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softheartedlover · 1 year
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so I did a thing today 🤭✨
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crystalkitty1220 · 11 months
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mustard.
What am I Iooking at here
#i was just at the worst junior prom in my life#which isn't saying alot because ive only been to two junior proms#but god this one was so much worse than the one i was at the other night#yknow those parts of songs everyone sings along to? like how in sweet caroline it goes ''BUM BUM BUM''?#the dj would cut out the songs right at that moment. i think he was expecting people to sing along? but it just went#''SWEET CAROLINE'' *dead silence* *song continues*#i knew nobody. almost everyone my 'date' knew hated his guts.#there was nowhere away from the music. it was only one area (a courtyard) with no other rooms and barely any seats. i hate loud noises.#everyone looked so bored or so resentful. everyone was either wearing a funeral suit or the shortest dress i'd ever seen#I was uncomfortable with the slit in my dress but then I saw how the longest one anyone else had only went to their knees?#i mean i still wish i wore my other outfit and my jacket but at least i was somehow the most covered.#there were fireworks. i hate loud noises.#me and my friend both agreed that the junior proms would be so much better if we just went to the first one and skipped the second.#actually it wasn't all bad. there was a fountain that was was actually just a fancy kiddie pool with candles floating in it.#peak of the night right there.#also my hand started feeling better so that's good as well.#and at one point afterwords my mom said ''i wouldn't be surprised if you were slightly on the autism spectrum''#????????? slightly??????????? also how did she not already know? literally everyone else knows already. and she's literally my mother.#and i ended up ranting to her about my health anxiety#and then i started ranting about other anxiety and how i'm the therapist friend of a lot of people#and that led to how i'm constantly in a panic that something horrible is happening to my friends and i can't help them#and that led to Girlfriend List Dude who would repeatedly pretend that something horrible would happen to him#and when he messaged back ten minutes later ''that's exactly how i wanted you to react. i was testing to see if you're really my friend''#and i would never think 'causing me to cry and panic as a test is a pretty dick move' but nowadays it's all i think about#very off-topic now. gonna stop typing.#sorry you got all these tags in response to mustard. i don't have a therapist and havent seen a real doctor since maybe sixth grade
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chaelinsbitch · 1 year
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My friends disregard for my work situations and then her complaining about her own when it's literally not even that serious for her is really starting to piss me off
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widevibratobitch · 3 months
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turns out that when they tell you some meds have side effects it's actually like. true sometimes?????? weird
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getitoncamera · 7 months
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hello again
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thisloev · 2 years
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dni
#except u bestie#ok so#it's too much all at once i don't have the space in me to handle it#and the worst part is that i already accounted for all these variables months ago and was like ok i should study now bc it'll be all fucked#up rn and it's all the same shit ive been dealing with since MONTHS#years really#1. exams duh#2. parents anniversary month and this time it's the 25th so they as a special treat have decided to figh for the whole month instead of jus#2-3 days before it#like hello some of us are trying to study#mostly i just block it out but it's hard to control the physical reactions like anxiety heartbeat rising etc which sucks#3. pmsing bc of fucking course so like great as if there wasn't enough emotional instability now we gotta add hormones to it#4. this person#it has been six months since we last talked yesterday#six full months and not a word#and it doesn't even feel like it bc what is time and did she ever really leave my mind? no#like how can u not move on after 6 months of staright up no contact#and it's been 9 months really since we had a convo when everything was fine and noone was tired and done of each other so wow#and i feel like doing something stupid like texting her and saying 'can u wish me good luck for my exams' and i don't even know if she has#blocked me#i won't do it bc i just can't do it in a rational state of mind my brain won't let me press send i tried and like I'll go crazy checking#every hour waiting for a response and fuck up my studies#something ive already been doing since 8 months#it's just#i miss her#and ik i should tell this to my sister instead of tumblr and maybe ask her to sleep with me tonight so i feel less lonely#and she'll let me do anything i want she'll let me talk or quietly hug her or cry for an hour#but just i don't even have the energy to have a breakdown bc who will pick up all those pieces after it stops? me? who's to say it won't#make it worse and I'll give up on this for real#and she'll be so disappointed bc she'll say 'i thought u were getting better' and 'don't u want to get out of here how will this work'
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magiccath · 5 months
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Worst Nightmare
tenth doctor x GN!reader
Summary: In which the Doctor is trapped in an alien-induced nightmare, and it's up to reader to save him
a gift for my friend @internet-stranger-says-hi
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The Doctor woke up in an unfamiliar bed, panting. He looked around the room, anxiety building within him at his surroundings. He was in a hospital room. He hated hospitals, they gave him the creeps. His eyes searched the room for you, darting around at a shocking speed. It quickly became apparent that you weren’t in the room with him. Where were you? He needed to find you, and quick.
He noticed a small IV strapped to his arm and ripped it out with haste, not bothering to check the damage in his haste. As quick as he could, he threw the bedsheets off, immediately rushing to the door. A sudden tension built within him, harboring a desperate need to find you. He needed you, he always did. 
He threw the door open and speed walked out into the hall. As he strode he ran his hands through his hair anxiously, wracking his brain for any memory that might clue him into his current situation. The issue was, he couldn’t remember a single thing. Where he was, why he was there, and most importantly, where you were. The questions piled up, fueling the anxious thoughts within the Time Lord. 
He really, truly hated hospitals. He told Rose as much when they visited New-New York. Even the fun little gift shops couldn’t ease the discomfort that they brought him. The irony wasn’t lost on him. His name itself implied hospitals (or at least some kind of medical context), but he just couldn’t do it.
The hallways seemed to go on forever, an endless maze of off-white walls. The pain in his head was accentuated by the bright fluorescent lights, creating a blinding blur around his vision. The putrid smell of disinfectant hung in the air, making his stomach churn. 
He tried to outrun the sinking feeling, searching desperately for an exit sign. He ran down hallway after hallway, increasingly desperate for a way out. It never seemed to end, an infinite labyrinth of his nightmares. He called out your name desperately, hoping you were somewhere in the hospital. He received no response, only the unsettling buzz of the lights above his head. It was excruciating. 
He began to wonder if he was nothing more than a mouse trapped in a complex maze set up to find the block of cheese. In the end, he didn’t really care if it was a trap, he needed to find you. 
He desperately called out your name again, more a plea than anything else. The more he ran through the hospital, the more he was convinced he was truly lost. Every shadow caught his eye, giving him false hope that you were there. 
He needed you. So much more than he would ever admit to himself, especially more than he would ever admit to you. Without you, he was scared and lost, and worst of all, he was cruel. He never wanted to be those things. He never wanted to be without you. 
He felt tears pickling his eyes, but he refused to cry. He had to shove his own feelings down and find his way out. He didn’t have time to dwell on the pain and fear boiling within him, no matter how much it hurt. 
He gathered himself and continued on, rushing through the endless halls. He made a mental map of where he was going, trying to ensure that he didn’t run about in circles. He noted the turns, the signs, and the labeled doors. It all seemed futile, resulting in him still running in what felt like circles.
After what felt like multiple gruesome hours, he ran into you. Your face felt like home, and he couldn’t help but throw his arms around you. He held you tightly against him. He dropped his head to your shoulder, burying his nose in the crook of your neck. From here, he could breathe in your calming scent. He never wanted to move, just wanted to stay here in your arms. 
Unfortunately, his reprieve was brief, as you quickly pulled away from him. The warmth of your embrace was quickly replaced by a harsh slap to the face. 
“You left me!” You cried - fury etched into your features. 
“I lost you!” He argued, using his hand to cover the spot you slapped him. He didn’t understand what was happening, and that upset him. He always knew what was going on.
“You did not,” you huffed, “you left me all alone!” 
“I didn’t, I would never do that,” the Doctor pleaded, obviously upset. He truly wouldn't. He needed you, he wanted you.
“I cannot believe you,” you sneered, anger boiling. “I follow you all this time, and the minute I stop being of help you dump me.” 
“Please-” 
“You’re an absolute monster, y’know,” you spat. The Doctor didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t sure he could say anything. 
“The things you have done are completely unforgivable, and I’m tired of pretending they aren’t! You do way more harm than good.” 
The Doctor felt tears building in his eyes again, and there was little he could do to stop them. Against his will, they started to fall. You were hitting him in his most vulnerable spots, and it was excruciating. You knew his insecurities better than anyone, and here you were exploiting them.
“You’re arrogant, rude, and a whole new level of selfish,” you continued. The Doctor shook his head like the action might stop your words. 
“You don’t deserve to be loved,” you laughed, the sound more cruel than musical like it normally was. The Doctor didn’t want to hear anymore, but that didn’t stop you. 
“I really, truly, wholeheartedly, despise you.” 
That was the final hit, he was done for. Everything else became so insignificant. His ears started ringing, a pressure that muted everything around him. He knew you were still talking, still yelling at him, but he couldn’t seem to hear it. Perhaps it was shock. Perhaps it was heartbreak. Perhaps he was so upset he was regenerating.
“Doctor!” your voice came through his head clearly. But that’s not what your mouth was saying. It was almost as if he had the subtitles on for the wrong show. 
“Doctor!” But there it was again, clear as day, your voice calling him, pulling him out of the dark.
His vision blurred, and the scene in front of him faded away into nothingness. He had been violently ripped awake, forcing him back into the present. He sprang upwards, nearly knocking you over in the process. His breaths came in short, painful pants. He felt like his lungs were on fire, and the room around him was blurry and unfocused. 
“Doctor!” you cheered a third time, throwing yourself into his arms. He stiffened at the touch, still wary and hurt from your words. What had previously been a comforting action felt more like a stab to the gut. 
You pulled away gently, confused by his demeanor. He usually softened at your touch.
“Doctor?” you asked softer, worry clouding your eyes. What had happened to him?
“Where am I?” He gasped, terrified. He felt a lightness in his head like he could pass out at any moment. His eyes darted around the room again, unsure if this was another horrible dream.
Footsteps thundered down the hall, signaling that the aliens who kidnapped the Doctor were near. You supposed it was up to you to get the two of you out of this. A sudden urgency fueled you, and you sprang into action. 
“Oh dear,” you rambled, “we need to get you back to the TARDIS, now,” you hauled the Doctor upwards as he drifted in and out of consciousness. 
The Doctor was a lot heavier than he looked. You supposed it was due to his impressive height. Nonetheless, he was heavy enough that you had a bit of trouble dragging him back to the ship in a timely manner. Fear and adrenaline coursed through your body, motivating you to move faster. 
You lugged the Doctor through the heavy wooden doors before slamming them shut. You fumbled with the lock on the door, your hands shaking. You finally got it closed and breathed a sigh of relief. You slumped back against the doors with another exhausted sigh. You were safe behind the TARDIS doors, but that didn’t stop you from worrying. What if the aliens figured out how to get into the ship? What were you going to do then? The Doctor was the one who got you out of sticky situations like this.
You moved over to where the Doctor lay on the floor and started tapping his cheek, hoping to prod him awake. You needed him to get you to safety. You had done as much as you could, unfortunately, it was up to him now. Frustrated and groggy, he complied, awakening with a groan. 
“Doctor,” you whispered, urgently. All you got was a grumble in response. “We need to get out of here,” you urged, eyes darting between him and the door. 
He noted the anxiety in your voice and demeanor, the events of the past few hours rushing back to him. He needed to get you out of here.
Begrudgingly, the Doctor pulled himself upright, dragging his hands over his face. Suddenly, a burst of energy flooded him, and he was on his feet. You watched flabbergasted as he ran about the ship, flicking switches, and pressing buttons. 
“Doctor?” You asked with a laugh. This wasn’t unusual for him, which was a good sign. He had boundless amounts of energy at all times.
“Yes?” 
“Are you ok?” 
“Never been better,” he said, but his inflection was off, “thank you.”
You presumed he was thanking you for rescuing him, something he never did. You were still sitting on the floor, legs spread out like a child. You frowned at the ground, wondering what you had done wrong. You racked your brain for something that might explain his upset but came up with nothing.
You pulled yourself up from the floor, confused. You watched the Doctor pilot the TARDIS, the whole time completely ignoring you. 
“Where are we going?” you asked, leaning against the console. He didn’t respond and moved away from you. The ship suddenly felt incredibly cold to you. You rubbed your arms subconsciously, trying to comfort yourself. 
The TARDIS landed with its usual thump, causing you to wobble slightly on your feet. You tried to catch the Doctor’s eye, but he evaded you. 
“Home,” he said matter of factly, gesturing to the doors. His eyes remained trained on the console, refusing to look at you. Was he dismissing you?
“I didn’t ask to go home.” 
“You don’t have to stay here.”
“Do you want me to leave?” You asked, hurt. Maybe he was finally done with you. 
“You don’t have to spend time with someone you hate.” 
“Do you seriously think that?” you asked, your voice pain-ridden. You had just risked your life to save him. You loved the Doctor, how could he not see that?
“You said it yourself,” he shook his head. 
“When?” 
“Earlier, when you found me in the hospital,” he still refused to look at you.
“What are you talking about?” 
“You made it very clear that I was an unforgivable monster and you truly hated me,” The Doctor finally looked at you, and his gaze felt like daggers.
You scrunched your eyes closed, the pieces finally falling together. Slowly, you opened your eyes, “You got kidnapped by aliens,” you explained simply, “they put you in a dream-induced state and showed you your worst nightmare.” 
“What?” The Doctor asked, eyes wide in confusion.
“None of it was real,” you said, completely earnestly. 
“I could never hate you. Ever,” you pleaded, “and you are far from a monster.” 
The Doctor shook his head, trying to make sense of it all. 
“Really,” you said, forcing him to look you in the eye. He needed to see you weren’t lying. He needed to see how much you meant to him. That you couldn’t look at him and feel anything but love. 
He moved his gaze away from you, staring at the TARDIS console, brow furrowed. You desperately wanted to push your finger between his eyebrows to smooth the worry wrinkle. 
“I spent so long not allowing myself love,” he whispered, so light you almost didn’t hear him. “It’s just safer that way,” you didn’t understand why he was telling you this, but you didn’t dare interrupt him. 
“And then I met you,” he lifted his head slowly to meet your eyes. It was easy to forget how old he was, how much he had seen. That was until you looked into his eyes. Behind them was so much time and pain that it was almost impossible to look away sometimes.
“As much as I tried to fight it,” he continued, “There was no stopping my feelings for you.” 
You honestly didn’t know what to say. You would never have expected him to say these things, to feel this way. A part of you felt the same and more, but you had always thought it wasn’t a possibility. 
“Doctor,” was all you could manage to get out. 
“You don’t have to say anything,” he blurted out, already turning away. You caught his face with your hand, gently turning him back to you. 
“I love you more than I have ever loved anything in my stupid human life,” you whispered, staring deep into his eyes. 
“What?” He gasped like the information shocked him. 
“I love your sticky-uppy hair,” you said, running your fingers through his locks lightly. “I love your freckles,” you ghosted your fingers around his nose and cheeks next, “I love the smile you get when you figure something out. I love your mind and the wild things it comes up with,” you allowed your hands to rest against his face again. “I love how kind you are, and how deeply you care. I love everything about you, every part of you.” 
Somehow you had managed to say exactly what the Doctor needed to hear. Your gentle words and touch melted him to the core. 
“Really?” He whispered, still terrified it wasn’t real. He couldn’t remember the last time that someone had said they loved him, let alone listed off a bunch of reasons why.
You laughed lightly, shaking your head. Stupid Time Lord. 
“Really,” you whispered back, leaning in closer to him. 
He smiled lightly and rested his forehead against your own, bringing you closer to him. You nuzzled your nose against his gently. Your eyes fluttered closed, feeling a new kind of comfort with the close proximity. After a minute the Doctor slowly closed the last little space between you, finally connecting his lips with yours. 
The Doctor was so much better at kissing than you had ever imagined. It put every single kiss to shame, even those on the telly. It was almost as if he was made for you. A perfect fit.
You smiled against his lips, feeling more at home than you ever had in your life. Yes, you could get quite used to this. 
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justalildumpling · 3 months
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chapter 26: my soulmate
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wc: 0.6k
If Jeno was going to be completely honest, he had no fucking clue what he was doing — partially due to acting upon his fight or flight response when you had mentioned the whole girlfriend ordeal. 
It wasn’t like he had never thought about making the two of you official (who was he kidding, he thought about it almost every day). But as a certified simp and part-time samoyed puppy, he wanted everything to be perfect, and if perfect meant standing on an empty beach digging up a pretty pathway and scattering rose petals for the past three hours, he would do it.
It had been around half an hour since he had texted you to come to this very specific beach — which he spent every minute anxiously fiddling with the bouquet of roses in one hand and fixing his wind-swept locks in the other. However, when he spotted your car pull up next to the boardwalk, he realised that he was not prepared for this moment, especially seeing the way your eyes sparkled as you met his gaze.
There was a little cute skip in your step as you hurriedly down the steps and to his position on the beach, your white cocktail dress dancing in the wind and the corners of your lips gradually rising as you got closer. 
Jeno could almost see the wedding arches and bells in the background, almost dropping the bouquet on the sandy surface as his hands instinctively reached out to hold you in some way.
“Jeno, what’s with all this?” You squealed, receiving the roses from his shaky grasp.
It was tranquil in that moment for the boy, with the girl of his dreams inhabiting the most beautiful smile and sharing the sweetest gaze with his little self, like all anxieties had washed away with his eyes crinkling into crescent moons and the words of “Will you accept to be my soulmate Y/N?” tumbling out of his lips without a second thought.
Your mouth parted for a split second, eyes hammering with a sense of shock and delight before a soft look adorned your face, “You finally accepted the soulmate request huh?” 
Jeno rolled his eyes, “Who says we can’t be both twin flames and soulmates?” 
You smiled, placing the bouquet on the sand before enclosing your arms around his neck, “Maybe we can test that theory,” you leaned closer into his ear, whispering the next few words, “I heard that if you kiss me and the world doesn’t blow up, we were made for each other.” 
Jeno could only chuckle, shaking his head, “You’re always full of surprises aren't you?” 
“Well, clearly you liked the suspense so now we’re here aren't we?” 
You scrunched your nose in glee, your giggles tickling his lips before he closed the gap. It almost felt like a scene out of a movie, with the waves crashing into the sand not too far into the distance and the rose petals once scattered neatly onto the path circling their figures from the wind and most importantly you, the way your laughs sounded so melodic in his ears, your perfect smile glistening in the golden sunlight and how he could finally call you his. 
Jeno didn’t vibe with chaos and unpredictability. But weirdly enough, the suspense and wrecking ball of events you had brought into his boring old life he found himself compelled to. And for the first time, he found himself agreeing with Chenle and his weird beliefs of the universe because a part of him began thinking that he had indeed found his soulmate, his other half, his twin flame.
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masterlist || previous | next 
pairing: jeno x fem! reader
synopsis: chenle was convinced that his two introverted friends were destined for each other, so what does he do? bribe them to text each other of course ⎯ or alternatively, when jeno started to fall for an anonymous mutual friend of chenle's
genre: social media au, strangers to lovers, college au, FLUFF, crack
warnings: swearing
note: sorry for the delayed and short updateKAEBFOWWGBW ive been sick for the past week and been stuck in the worst writers block ever😭 but GUYSSSS the finale's next week can u believe it????
taglist: open! feel free to send an ask or comment to be added :))) ~ @babyjenono @btssf9nct @baekksore @411star @jenyoonoh @igotkpoops @calumsmut @hs825 @liliansun @raikea10 @loveleejn @luv4jeno @rosabella1009 @ismileeprnc-responder @jenoists @222brainrot @sexygrass @culterycollector @kikookii @minkyuncutie @mrsyixingunicorn10 @tytrackfebreze @sehunniepot @choi-beomgyulvr @jaeminnanaaa17 @multifandomania06 @aerislovjeno @spilled-coffee-cup @artstaeh @tddyhyck @jeongintwt @aerivrs
permanent taglist: ~ @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @shwizhies @polarisjisung @dearlyminhyung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @daincty @deehyuck @ficrecnctskz @rv7hsua @n0hyuck @neosdaisy @baekhyunstruly @barbkh8450t @cupid-yuno @rum-gone-why @mxnhoeuwu @dinonuguaegi @alethea-moon @klovmasworld @haechansbbg @moonchele
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drabblesbyjubs · 7 months
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Headcannons about Astarion and his PTSD
Tws// PTSD nightmares and attacks, disassociation, sexual trauma, Astarion’s backstory stuff, minor spoilers for unascended Astarion’s ending. Minors begon
A quick note before we start; PTSD manifests itself differently on a case to case basis. Thats why its so hard to understand, even amongst people who have it; two people who experienced the same traumatic event may react completely differently from one another to certain things. That being said, these are just my headcannons for Astarion based off of my experiences with PTSD.
Astarion’s nightmares have always been rough on him. They didn’t come every night, not like they used to, but when they did, there was no telling how he’d react when he woke up.
He may blink awake, that oh so familiar feeling of dread but also of pure numbness creeping over him. He would sit staring at the ceiling for hours, or at least until you woke up, nearly thoughtless the entire time.
When you noticed, he sometimes wanted to scoot closer and cuddle you, other times just humming an acknowledgement of your awakening before zoning out again. He would eventually get up and moving, but for a few hours, he felt like a complete detachment of himself.
Other times, he would jolt awake, not recognizing you as the one safe thing in his entire life. He lashed out at you once, demanding you leave, scrambling for his knife. He was shaking so hard he couldn’t even pick it up. When those red eyes softened in familiarity, the guilt that swamped him was the worst thing he’d ever felt.
Occasionally, he would awaken in a similar trance of not recognizing you. He would usher you out of bed and insist you had to go, leave, run for the woods and never look back. If you don’t, you’ll never see the light of day again. He will get you.
You knew these times were draining for him, and some days, he just needed some time to sit and reflect for a while; reflect on everything for the past two hundred years, from having his freedom cruelly ripped away, then regaining it, then losing it all over again. It was a lot for you just hearing about it, so you could only imagine how overwhelming it could be to him.
He still tried not to let it rule his life, though, and thats where you came in. You made an easy distraction, something to focus on and give to, something normal.
At times he would lose his focus, but you were always there to keep him on track. While you weren’t the cure for his trauma, you helped to guide him through it as he built comfort in himself and his new life.
You were there through the anxiety, the panic, the angry outbursts. Gods, he always felt terrible for those. But you stayed, because you knew about him, and you knew why, and you knew he was trying. You by no means made excuses for him, but you never shamed him for the things he couldn’t help.
Your patience was the thing he didn’t know he needed. Your understanding, your empathy. Things he would have found weaknesses a mere month ago were the reasons he loves you now. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
..
Super quick hcs, ive got some actually good ones rotting away just need to remember where I put them
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tonkatsubowl · 5 days
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separation anxiety.
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▼ caelus x fem!reader
▼ nsfw themes. mdni.
your separation anxiety starts to make you panic while caelus was out on a mission.
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caelus was well known to be handling tasks at the station, as well as throughout the cosmos. during your guys' relationship, you often accompanied him on missions, like jarilo iv, xianzhou luofu, and now... penacony. but one night, caelus had a mission he had to urgently be present for. you were half asleep when he woke you up to notify you that he would be gone for the rest of the morning until he had returned.
so, you went back to sleep, hoping that by the time you woke up, caelus was already on his way back... or even better, he was home.
but it was past noon.
you were known to have a form of separation anxiety whenever he was gone, and he always did his best to stay around or inform you he had to leave soon for a mission. and you trusted him—for you always had his location and he texted you whenever he could.
but for some reason... he hasn't texted you all morning, and it was already three in the afternoon, and he hasn't responded to you. you sent a few texts to him here and there, to which he didn't respond.
so, you began to worry.
himeko had stayed behind while welt and the others accompanied caelus on this mission. you decided to approach himeko for some sort of reassurance... but to your dismay, she goes,
"i'm not sure why they're taking so long either. i'm not getting any response from welt."
so, you began to panic. but you nodded in understanding, giving himeko the false illusion that you were okay.
"i wouldn't worry too much about it. i'm sure they will return soon."
you went back to you and caelus' room, but you were panicking now. you began to blow up his phone, asking if he was okay, if he was hurt, if he was coming home soon. but everything was hitting you all at once. your body began to shake, your vision began to blur, and you began to hyperventilate.
is he dead? what happened? why hasn't he been responding? did the planet blow up?
all these possibilities of the worst outcome ever began to flood your mind as you began to sob quietly. you paced around the room, but your legs gave up, trembling like a cold pup, and you felt yourself fall to the floor. you breathed, trying to stabilize yourself as you attempted to get up, only to fall.
you were panicking. and you couldn't calm down.
it was like your world went dark, and you were desperate to see the light. you were losing feelings in your body and you felt like you were going to die at this rate.
but unbeknownst to your episode, warm arms immediately wrap themselves around you. your eyes wide, familiarized by the sensation of these limbs. your body didn't calm down, yet, but your mind had realized who it was.
"caelus-?"
you sobbed quietly as the male pulled your trembling figure close. he breathed, unhurt as you can see, and he buried his face into the back of your neck.
"sorry i'm late. i knew this was going to happen. we were in an area with no reception and we were lost." caelus explained, before scooping your figure up before wandering towards the bed you both shared. "i'm sorry, (y/n). are you feeling alright? i should've brought you with me, but you were too exhausted."
"n-no... don't apologize. i'm.. okay now." your voice slurred as your visage tingled. panic attacks tend to paralyze your skin and body movements, numbing everything for you. you couldn't even feel your face. but you could feel the warmth that radiated from the stellaron-infused man.
"do you want me to grab you anything for you to eat or drink?" caelus asked in a soft whisper.
"...in a bit. i want you to be with me."
caelus formed a soft smile across his lips as he sat on top of the mattress, watching as your body began to calm itself.
"you don't need to ask me to do that. i'll always be here for you."
you faintly smile, before slowly and weakly brushing yourself against his side, where he began to gently move your hair out of your face.
"did you sleep well, at least?" he asked.
you nodded, "i did, but it would've been better if you were here."
caelus smiled, "sorry. listen, i even got stuck in a trash can. i dropped my phone in there by accident and it turned out to be a cosmic entity... so it took me a bit to grab it back."
"... what's with you and trash cans?"
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