What if it was Mr. Rizz ?
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A drag queen, trans guy and a he/she/they gender fluid person in a masc mood are eating good burger on a bench. A stranger comes up to them and says,
"hello ladies, how are your good burgers today?"
The three friends look at each other before the trans guy starts singing...
"I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude.... We're all dudes, eh?"
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Worst dad joke 💀
what do you call a boat filled with potatoes?
A dicktatorship
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the scooby-doo franchise needs to be old yeller'd
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my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called "korea, 1950" 😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd 💯
me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude i swear we've been here for 11 years.
my buddy hawkeye, pacing: who's responsible?
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do kids even know what alvin & knuckles is these days?
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Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it
hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS
PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:
unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal
the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing
has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again
(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)
based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?
has canonically worn Dad Shorts
CONS:
(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)
NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties
despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)
currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything
Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family
???:
turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess
all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!
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Fallen Heroes had a group chat for their evil plans for World Domination, and it got leaked
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