#wound care measuring tools

[shinjisdone]

Ticking Springs

(A Yandere Pinocchio X fem!Reader fic from Lies of P)

Pɑɾt 1; Sluɱbeɾ

capitolo uno

capitolo due

capitolo tre

capitolo quattro

capitolo cinque

capitolo sei: is here

Capitolo sette

Capitolo otto

Capitolo nove

Capitolo dieci

Pɑɾt 2; Awɑƙeƞiƞƍ

It was a privilege to share the same blood as Giuseppe Geppetto. To be his family, his niece and take part in the marvelous worlds of puppets. The privilege to learn from him as his apprentice. The privilege to care for the things he cares for and to have the things he cares for, care deeply for you.

Tag List:

@greeknerd007 , @mitsureigen , @kame11a , @thirdblogsacharm , @sarah22447 , @blueberryhitosh1 , @written1nthest4rs , @huicitawrites

TW in general: Yandere behaviour, creepy and still puppet, dubious intentions and relationship, still in WIP more warnings may occure in time, also I am running out of pictures of P he looks the same in every pic (but prettily so) and so im gonna end up using the uh same ones prbly

[TW for this one specifically include: Demeaning uncle Geppetto, mentions of grief, signs of overworking mentioned, blood, wounds and crying, anxiety, puppet going aray]

[Also, I am gonna be like that and mention that I would not mind any comments or reblogs! This series is definitely gonna have short chapters and is currently building up settings but there's gonna be good ol yandere Pinocchio tailing after you like a puppy afterwards, no worries!]

The wrench bent on contact with the floor.

It was mere and old wood but the throw was aggressive enough to leave the tool useless. It was one of many. One he could easily snatch from the Workshop Union from.

Damn these halfwits.

He was not expecting a call from them. They were just as naive and cocky as the Workshop Union, and their glorious, genius breakthroughs.

With a grunt he picked up the tool before carelessly throwing it into a metal bucket. One on the far right corner and one far too familiar.

A heavy and frustrated sigh escaped him.

"Oh, son," Removing one glove, his fingers ran down his sweaty face, "It's always the same with them." Just as briskly as he sat down, Geppetto got up from the chair just as fast. His voice tired but still holding onto bitterness. "Stealing my time meant for you."

Brown eyes tiredly wandered up the motionless figure sitting on the blood-red armchair. The fabric untouched while surrounded by tools and oil, material that fell off shelves left on the floor. The pads were full and soft, so heavenly soft as it seemed - only the best for him even if he was not awake yet. Nevertheless, the sight irked him, from the unfinished touches of the skin up to the missing arm. It couldn't be any arm and so Geppetto had to wait and wait and wait for the material to be stocked again and again.

Progress was thriving at top speed but it didn't seem like that to him. All was too slow. Everybody was too tardy.

The flick of the light was fast but reluctant and as he looked outside, a scoff escaped him. Another long, long night but a dry one at that at least. Krat's cloudless nightsky the only relief he could feel.

Eyes mustered the nervous smile on your lips. Shoulders up to your ears and a little list in your hands - the man's hand absent-mindedly went to his mustache as he offered a smile to the lady before his eyes met yours again. With a nod, you were the next one in line.

The man rose his eyebrows and tilted his melon hat for a moment. You briefly scanned the list in your hands. "Baby blue fabric...made out of cotton, please?" "We certainly have that." Answered the man, "How long? Width and thickness?"

"Oh," You gave the measurements written on the paper and the clerk gestured you to follow. His other hand pointed on the hallway to the left. "Cherry." You turned your head as you tried to keep up, only to see a short puppet appear from the hallway, wearing the same melon hat as the man - only with a small ribbon at the side. Leading you to the back and taking out a roll of the cloth you requested, the man first showed it to you. 'Cherry' in the meantime rose its two hands, which consisted of a scissor and a measuring tape. Yet the clerk stopped it, before looking back to you. "I will let you know, young lady...100% cotton is expensive and we at Tailorshop Cherry never deliver anything other than superb quality."

He could see the hesitance in your face and took another roll of the wall. "60% cotton. Here, feel it." So you do, fingers gliding over the different fabric and as your eyes dart between the two rolls. The clerk eyed you with raised brows and it was almost like the puppet did, too.

You sucked in air. "...Perhaps 100% cotton would be better?" Making a face, the man sucked in air himself. "Can you even afford this, young lady?" He rolled the cloth up, "The measures you request for seem like that of an toddler. I've had...gentlemen pay the same sum to ask for their darlings hand."

"It's fine!"

"It is fine..." You repeated softer, "I am aware that this tailor is known for its quality...but I do know what I want." You pointed at the blue cloth. "This one would be just perfect."

The consequences were clear to you...but finances were the least of your worries. Your eyes throughouly stared at the roll, before looking up at the man and nodding your head firmly once more. Maybe you were too dead set on doing this and all of this might bite you later...it all depended on your uncle. Just musing about it made you deflate a bit. Perhaps it is the age, the stress, the work...but he has been more agitated since you last saw him - before your visit, before you moved here.

Or perhaps it was grief.

Eyes glanced to the side before looking back. "Well then, here you go." Feigning a smile, you took the package, one as big as your torso. You didn't like to think about it. "Cherry will stamp you a card. At the third purchase, 15% off!" It was too long ago. Or not, maybe even. "Thank you for purchasing from Tailorshop Cherry!" The puppet's hand brought out a stamp, punching a cherry-shaped hole on the pink card. It's voice softer and higher than that of the baker. You smiled and bowed before leaving.

Distracting oneself is easy. Either with your own life or with puppets.

A shaky gasp escaped you before the shrill echoes of inserructions neared. Your knees fell to the floor, the card long abandonded on the sullied ground as you clenched your hand to your chest with a high scream. The nearby customers congegrated around you but the salesman was quick to be the first one knelled at your side. Your ears felt about to burst - from the sounds of your crying to the panic of the people and the non-stop imploration of the man. The puppet seemed to speak, somewhere in the shop, for the first time since you entered.

"15% off!"

"15% off!"

"15% off!"

You cried and hissed as the shopkeep forcefully took your hand away from your grasp. Though he begged and begged to at least see, you were sure as hell from the pain that there was too much blood.

Somehow, somewhere feet scrambled and you heard sirens soon after. Before anyone could barge through the door, the man held you by the shoulders as he and others tried to stop the bleeding - begging and begging to not utter the name Tailorshop Cherry.

The sound of stomping in the air as well as revolted murmurs resounded still.

"15% off!"

The stitches and bandages were done with. A woman offered you a handkerchief to dry your tears. Though it was all awfully sweet, the mention of having been lucky that the puppet's clutches did not move any closer to your bone was one you immediately tried to force out of your head.

The card was left there on the shopfloor, its cherry pink color tainted red.

Jumping, you halted before your feet stepped on another pair. The door threw itself shut harsher and louder than anticipated and trying to save face, you quickly stepped to the side. Geppetto continued where he was left off - putting on his coat.

He glimpsed at you from the side, back hunched as he let one arm crawl into the sleeve as he did the other. You bit your lip and avoided his gaze before taking a step back. The wind picked up by the time you came back to the workshop and howled against the door. It creaked slightly.

The older man reached for his hat, "And where were you, young lady?" Finally he fully turned to you, though his eyes were still narrowed. "Out." You quickly but meekly let out and played with a loose wrapping end of the package. "As I told you, Uncle."

"I wasn't aware you'd be out this long." He looked for an umbrella, just in case, but kept his tone flat while speaking. "I don't like it when you are out for that long. Especially as such a young girl as yourself."

"I," You licked your lips after the small stutter, "I wanted to get back by dinner." "Dinner." Geppetto sighed, "Oh. Right, dinner." His hectic movements halted; before he began to button up his coat calmly. Eyes scanned the hallway and turned to you. "Be a dear and order food. Sandwiches or, or pasta. No, actually get something that can be eaten cold." You took a step closer, "Won't you have a bite before you leave? It's late and I am sure you're hungry. Besides, the weather's getting awful."

"The better it is that I leave now." Taking a small, old umbrella he finally found, Geppetto opened the door and took a step outside - but not before looking at you. "Order some food, dear, I'll be sure to enjoy it after I come back. And..." Brown eyes narrowed as he slightly leaned closer. The man scrunched up his nose.

"What happened to you, (Name)?" His eyes flickered to your limp hand. You mimicked his movements but tried to hide the bandaged hand under the parcel anyway.

"...Uncle, today afternoon..."

"Ah, you are fine though now, aren't you?" Geppetto failed to see the frown on your face the moment he mentioned the injury. Instead, he patted his collar down. "We'll talk about this later but this is what happens to children staying out after dark. You don't see how you get hurt."

Again, you tried to gather courage to speak your mind, just a word, a mere objection to his ridicilous and childish assumptions-

"...Go to bed early, (Name). You already have a few dark circles under your eyes, unbecoming of a young lady."

The door was shut close. A strong gale blew into the workshop briefly, leaving a shudder down your spine.

The frown stayed on your face. Still, the parcel had to be stored into your room sooner or later, and it was best done sooner judging from your uncle's mood. Adjusting your grip, as it started to slip out of your clutch, you slowly went up the stairs while having a hard time taking your eyes off the door.

Eyes stayed trained on the needle and the fabric, as well as your fingers, as the sewing machine diligently worked away. Although you held both machinery and fabric rather awkwardly with the side of your hand, the sure progress melted your sadness away, bit by bit.

Your wallet may have not suffered today for you got the fabric graciously for free, but your limb surely did.

The puppet did not really puncture your thumb, the emergency responder said. Still, the injury was deep enough to be treated with stitches and bandages...and a few painkillers, possibly. It kept you on wiping your tears.

The mechanical cadence would stop as you shift and lay the fabric in different directions, cut off unneeded material while avoiding to accidentally stab out your own eyes with the scissor whenever you rubbed them. The experience today was scary enough but despite it, you did not want to stop now.

Forcing yourself to take one more sip of your drink, you cleared your throat. Eyelids feeling heavier.

A puppet wasn't supposed to do that.

No puppet was ever meant to harm another, human or mechanical fellow alike. Even if it was a mere accident - this 'Cherry' should have sensed your flesh being too close to its brackets and it not having targeted the card correctly.

On top of that, echoing its master's words like a madman if you recalled right.

Uncle Geppetto had to know. Even if he would still be too busy to listen, you'd have to let him know.

"...I know you..."

You frowned as the machine begun again. Your voice barely reached the same volume as this old thing...neither did your sniffles.

"...I don't feeling like singing that one." Mumbles reaching no one but yourself. Once again, you sniffled and cleared your throat, focusing on the task at hand.

"...When you wish upon a star..."

Lone words entered the lone room. Sitting up straighter made you feel more focused, more awake. Here, in the moment and aware that this trivial task meant change for you.

"...Makes no difference who you are..."

The machine continued flawlessly despite its age. You even found yourself singing while it conducted its own cadence, no matter if both tunes melodically weaved in together or not.

It was about the feeling. About the action.

It was about being heard even if your only audience was yourself.

Yet it was not. It never was.

"...Anything your heart desires..."

Behind the many walls, down the turning and winding stairs and straight through the locked door, were sounds emitting and attempting to mimick your own.

The rattling was resounding from the underground and offering its own melody in hopes it will join and align with yours.

Though it sung in high and longing tunes when picking up the sound of your sniffles.

Naive, little thing that you were, you did not hear it over your own whimsical fantasies.

"...Will come to you..."

#yandere lies of p #Lies of p #lies of p x reader #lies of p pinocchio #yandere pinocchio #Pinocchio #Lies of p pinocchio x reader #Pinocchio x reader #P x reader #Yandere #ticking springs

[kyberblade]

Everything (Din x Reader) - Back To You Drabble

A/N: This is for Dincember 2022 days 3-5, Gloves, Fire, and Cold. It’s set in the Back To You universe, where? I have no idea…. (Is kinda a continuation of the first one.) I know I promised vambrace shenanigans, and we kinda get them, but this morphed.

I do not own Star Wars or it’s characters. Sadly. But I carry them in my heart. Does that count for something? My soul says yes.

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, Din is once again a warning in and of himself in this one. Maybe like one or two light swear words? Space swearing. Brief mentions of an injury. (A small bruise.)

Word count: 1,867

Series Masterlist

Xxx

You sat in your seat in the cockpit, watching the stars crawl lazily past as Din shouted expletives from the deck below.

“Dank farrik!”

You let out a sigh, rolling your head where it rested against the headrest to look over at the kid in his seat next to you.

“Patu?” He babbled, tilting his head just slightly at you before turning to the wide open doors leading to the lower level.

“Don’t worry, kid. Your father is just having a bad day.”

“Kriffing hell, son of a mud scuffer….” Something clanged a few times, followed by a muffled thud, then the sound of a tool hitting the floor of the Crest with a metallic bang. “Dank farrik!” He hissed again. 

“Eh?” The child squeaked, looking down the hatch toward the commotion, leaning one hand on the back of his chair, the other gripping his ball tight.

“Din?”

“What?” He bellowed, grumbling something under his breath as the sounds of the tool resumed.

“If the kid repeats any of that as his first words, I just may murder you.” The clanging stopped, making you smirk. “Fair warning.” When all you heard in response was a heavy sigh, you settled back further into your seat, your arms crossed over your chest adjusting slightly before you settled. “Want me to check under the console again?”

Silence, and then a quiet, “….no.”

You snorted in amusement. “It’s no trouble. While you work on the hyperdrive down there, I’ll make sure the switch didn’t just flip a breaker again-”

“It’s not a breaker!” He boomed, his tone dripping with frustration, and you just rolled your eyes.

“It was last week,” you mumbled. Then, a little louder, “Want some help down there?”

“No,” his quick answer came, the banging resuming before another muffled thud was heard. “Dank farrik!” He growled. 

You looked at the kid as he looked over at you. “Stay here, ad’ika.” Rising to your feet, you reached out and bopped his nose with the tip of your index finger. “I’m sure he’s fine. I’m just going to help.”

Shooting the child a wink as you descended the ladder and he babbled at you, you quickly dropped the last few rungs, landing with a thud. Turning, you found Din sitting with his back against the wall of the Crest cradling his hand. Beside him was an open panel, a mess of wires and circuitry hanging out like the ship had been mortally wounded.

Lowering onto your haunches when you got in front of him, you held out your hands toward him. “Let me see.” You kept your voice low and calm.

“No.”

“Din….” You warned, gesturing again with your hands, raising an eyebrow for good measure.

“I’m fine,” he grit out through clenched teeth.

“Sure. All people who are fine cradle their hand like they’re injured,” you huffed, rolling your eyes before you rolled onto the balls of your feet to try and grab his hand and inspect it.

He pulled away from you. “Stop it.” He sounded annoyed, but you didn’t care.

“Din Djarin, give me your hand, you’re being worse than the child when we tell him to spit out a frog.”

“I-”

Pulling his hand to you with the Force instead of listening to another excuse, you quickly inspected it for blood or immediate problems, but didn’t see anything.

He stumbled over a few words, not settling on any one complaint before he just let out a groan, his head thumping back against the panel behind him as he gave up and let you get a closer look.

“Can I take this off?” You looked up into his visor, lightly tracing your fingers over the fastener of his glove. 

“If I say no, will you listen?”

You tilted your head at him and grinned. “What do you think?”

With another groan he slouched further down the wall, freely extending his arm toward you the rest of the way and nodding his consent. He let out a sharp hiss as you tugged on the fingers to get the tight leather off.

You sucked air in through your teeth, grimacing at the bruise already forming along the back of his hand. “What did you hit it with?”

“That one,” he pointed with his other hand at a lone tool sitting next to the open panel.

Standing up, you released his hand and took the single step between you and the tool before you picked it up to examine it before putting it in the chest with the others. Continuing on toward the fresher, you grabbed the med kit off the wall before going back to sit beside him, making him scoot over so you could sit on the same side as his damaged hand.

Opening the kit, you grabbed a bacta cream and a wrap and got to work. “You’re lucky it’s not broken.”

“I’ve had worse,” he grumbled, hissing in pain when you cinched the wrap a bit too tight.

Apologizing, you adjusted it, keeping your eyes on his hand as you continued. “Why are you so desperate to fix the hyperdrive right here and now? We could turn around and be at Peli’s in a few days, she could fix it easy.”

“That would set us too far behind. I need to get you to….”

You looked up into his visor. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing. Forget I said it.” His words were hurried and tried to appear nonchalant, but they were heavily affected.

“No, Din. What is it?” You set his hand down in your lap, bandage halfway done.

He spoke so quietly, you almost didn’t hear him. “I was taking you to a forest planet. It’s the other half of the surprise, first the snow, then somewhere green like you’ve been going on about.” He had been staring at his lap while he spoke, but now he looked up to meet your gaze, and it made your breath catch in your throat. “But then the hyperdrive broke. And we only have enough fuel to either go get it fixed with Peli, or try and fix it now and then go where I planned.”

“Din,” you started, voice just as quiet as his, “I appreciate you thinking of that, I really do. I love that you heard my griping and understood something I didn’t even really know I wanted myself.” You lifted a hand to cradle the side of his helmet. “But you don’t have to do that. It costs so many credits, and time, and it’s risky, and-”

“And it’s completely worth it,” he cut in, finishing the statement for himself. “You’re completely worth it.”

All you could do was blink at him, your hand cradling his helmet came quickly back to your lap to grip his hand on instinct, making him yelp in pain. “I’m so sorry,” you rushed out, immediately releasing his hand, finishing off the wrap.

He shook his head, bringing the hand up to cradle your face before his fingers slipped around the back of your neck and into the hair at the nape of your neck before he pushed your forehead to his softly. “Don’t be,” he mumbled, sliding the hand more firmly around the back of your neck. “Totally worth it, if you ask me.”

You chuckled. “Well, I know when I’m beat. How can I help fix this floating hunk of metal so we can go see trees?”

Xxx

It took a few more hours and lots of newly learned expletives between the two of you before the hyperdrive finally worked again.

It had ended up being something at the source, like Din had said, but also something under the console, like you had said. He conveniently ignored that last part, though. 

You’d touched down on the green orb in the middle of its night cycle, a sky blanketed in stars overhead drawing your gaze as soon as you stepped down the ramp. Shadows of towering trees filled the skyline everywhere you looked, silent giants in the dim lights of the Crest.

“We’ll go exploring tomorrow.” Din came up behind you, the kid in his arm, staring up at the stars just like you. “For now, let’s make a fire and eat something warm for a change.”

Your eyes flew to his visor. “Trees and warm food? You spoil me.”

Din chuckled, setting the child down. “I try.”

You began to shiver as the cool night air sunk in. You were dressed for the controlled climate of the ship, not a cool late summer evening on a planet you didn’t even know the name of. And you didn’t really care what it was called. Just that it was green. And it had your two favorite beings currently busy making a camp a few feet away.

“Care to do the honors?”

You turned to the modulated voice, finding him pointing at the waiting fire pit, and you grinned. “Don’t mind if I do.”

Holding your arm up to initiate the flamethrower in your vambrace as you walked to the edge of the ring, you pointed down once your toes met the rocks lining the outside, blasting a stream of fire to ignite the branches Din had collected.

Grinning down at your handiwork as it crackled, you looked up into his visor and found it already tilted fondly on you.

After eating and poking the fire back to something warmer a few times, the child fell asleep against your leg where he sat between them, his soft little snores puffing against your calf. You were lost in thought, staring down at him with a soft smile when a blanket came around your shoulders, the one you kept in the cockpit.

Looking up over your shoulder at Din, you smiled. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“Didn’t want you to get cold,” Din said offhandedly as he came to sit across the fire from you. The flames danced across his beskar, reflecting in magnificent shades that almost made you lose your focus.

You smiled. “I wasn’t just talking about the blanket.” He looked up, visor holding your gaze across the flames. “For everything.” Your eyes fell to his signet for a moment before rising back to his visor. “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone care about me enough to put as much effort in as you have.” You cleared your throat. “As you do.”

He gave a gentle shrug, the T of his visor falling to look at the fire. “You do the same for me and the kid every day. It almost doesn’t seem like enough to pay you back.”

“You know you don’t have to pay me anything.” You leaned forward slightly, trying to catch his gaze again.

“Maybe not. But we owe you everything.” His head lifted back up to meet your eyes, and an emotion you couldn’t quite define caught in your chest.

Smiling, you swallowed around the lump in your throat of all the things left unsaid. “Let’s just settle on ‘thank you’ for now, then.” Your smile grew. “Thank you, Din. For everything.”

“Thank you, mesh’la.” He looked down for just a moment before he lifted his visor back up to you. “For all of it.”

Xxx

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#dincember 2022 #dincember #din x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #star wars imagine #star wars reader insert #mando x reader #mando x you #mando x y/n #din x you #din x y/n #din djarin x you #din djarin x y/n #star wars x reader #star wars x you #star wars x y/n #din imagine #din djarin imagine #din reader insert #din djarin reader insert #mando imagine #mando reader insert #the mandalorian #star wars #din djarin #mando #grogu #grogu x reader #the mandalorian reader insert

[starswallowingsea]

I have been thinking about what types of notions and things the craft dorm (what I've been calling the Shu/Izumi/Kuro/Mao dorm) would have in their respective kits and ended up making some collages with my thoughts. In order it's Shu, Izumi, Kuro, and Mao. Longer explanation below the cut.

Shu:

Since he canonically makes lace I put all sorts of different lace making tools on his. In the english server it got translated as crochet and crochet lace can be absolutely gorgeous and it's pretty portable so it makes sense, hence the steel hooks. The other lace making tools are bobbins and a bobbin pillow and a tatting shuttle. While tatting is the "lesser" form of lace making compared to crochet and bobbins, it's by far the most portable as the thread is wound around the shuttle and to me Shu would probably do tatting on the plane to/from Japan and France. Also included for him are pretty generic sewing notions, your pins and pincushion, scissors, a needle and thread, t-pins, and beeswax. T-pins can be used to block the lace as well, and the beeswax is for hand sewing. Fun fact but if you run your thread over beeswax a few times before starting to sew it'll help strengthen your thread and prevent it from splitting! Shu also heavily prefers working with natural fibers over synthetic.

Izumi:

Guy absolutely uses DPNs (double pointed needles) for his knitting, at least when it comes to socks and hats. I believe in some of the examples of his knitting we've seen he has done cabling so a cable stitch holder is there as well, though I can imagine he does it without it too if it gets lost. He also has a ball winder and I wish I had thought to put a swift on here too but like Shu, he prefers to get natural fibers over synthetic and hand dyed wool is great but it comes in hanks which areeeeeee hard to work with so a swift and ball winder would be necessary for him. Also included are more t-pins, a blocking board, stitch markers, and yarn needles.

Kuro:

To me, Kuro is the type of guy to make scrap quilts with left over fabric from the outfits he makes for his friends (and also out of like old shirts his sister has grown out of), so he has a huge scrap fabric pile he's constantly thinking about what type of blocks to make them into. I feel like he'd also make his own appliques for these quilts and would use basting spray to hold those down, obviously. Also the type of guy who just carries spare buttons on him in case of an emergency. Also has a seam ripper, scissors (thread, fabric), a tailor's measuring tape, and a cutting board.

Mao:

I know he doesn't really craft but to me? He's a crocheter. He tried knitting once and failed very badly but crochet (in my opinion at least) is a lot easier to grasp for beginners and I think he made the dorm a few dish cloths at first but mostly makes amigurumis now of his favorite manga characters, as well as little toys for his friends, hence the safety eyes. Probably works more with synthetic fibers due to ease of accessibility and variety of colors, though he tries not to buy too much of the same color unless he knows what it'll be used for. Also has stuffing, yarn needles, stitch markers, and a little crochet hook carrying case.

General Notes:

There were some things I didn't think to add until after I had already finished all of these collages, and some things that were things I thought everyone would have. To start, Shu would obviously also have a blocking board for his lace blocking, and as mentioned earlier Izumi would have a swift. Shu probably also has a swift and ball winder or just borrows Izumi's when he buys anything heavier than thread for crochet (which isn't often so I'm leaning more towards borrowing). Kuro would also have a bar of beeswax for the same reason as Shu, as well as maybe a thimble? Though I suppose it depends on how much he cares about his fingers being callused from the needle. Shu has a thimble. I also think all four of them would have some sort of project bag, whether it's just an old backpack or something a bit more expensive, they all have something that allows them to take their crafts on the go.

Anyway that's all I had but please tell me your thoughts if you want :3

#shay speaks #enstars #ensemble stars #shu itsuki #izumi sena #kuro kiryu #mao isara #ensemble stars headcanons #enstars headcanons #i want to get a tatting shuttle :( i know how to make nets though with a shuttle and spacer #tatting lace can look really beautiful if you know what you're doing please look up some examples of it #ragh. anyway. i'm gonna stop myself from going off on too much of a tangent rn #i <3 crafting

[yallemagne]

Elizabeth's letter... aehhhh.

The meaning is like one of two options. Not really, because for all I know, Shelley intended for us to see Victor and Elizabeth as a blissful and healthy relationship simply occurring at the wrong time. Or any other possibility. Why else would a later version of Frankenstein go with a less blood-related but not necessarily less incestuous setup for their pairing? To make it more palatable somehow.

That aside, I have two readings for Elizabeth's letter: she is trying to grant herself an out by seeing if Victor shares her familial feelings rather than having romantic inclinations towards her, or Papa Frankenstein forced her to write this letter so as to guilt Victor into making a decision (most likely the decision to marry).

The first one is self-explanatory. Even if she says she does love him and wants to be married if it is his choice, it feels like that is just a measure she's taken to not offend Victor if he does want to marry or if he, at the very least, takes solace in being desired by someone. Even if he doesn't want her, his ego could be wounded if she confessed to not wanting him either, which, we can't have that! She can't outright break off the engagement herself, but she can test the waters and hope that Victor sees her as a sister and that she can likewise find someone else as she assumes he may have.

The second is more convoluted, but holy shit her letter is verbatim what Alphonse said to Victor before. Either she's been given a script, Alphonse was originally voicing concerns that Elizabeth voiced to him (you'd think he'd mention tho), or Shelley didn't care to give Elizabeth concerns of her own and recycled Alphonse's. Even if Alphonse had mentioned his suspicion to Elizabeth without the intent to influence her to write this letter... it would have compelled her to address the issue herself. It's just strange they both have the exact same idea of "Victor might see Elizabeth as a sister AND he's probably hooked up with some other chick and is depressed to leave her". And both of them say "hey, it's absolutely fine if you don't want to get married to your cousin. it is sorta weird to haha. but it would make everyone really happy in this really troubling time if you just got married anyway".

I think that the most likely answer though is the most boring for Elizabeth's character. And that is that every word of the letter is genuine and from her. "I really want to marry you, cousin, but I'm totally chill if you've been cheating on me this whole time and wish to drop me for another woman with very little warning. I only exist to please you, after all."

No matter what Elizabeth's intent is, Victor seems to have made the decision to marry her merely to hasten the coming of his own death. Whether or not he does want to do well by her, he's using her as a tool for his own destruction.

#really can't get a read on if mary meant for elizabeth/victor to be a negative example #from what i've read she didn't believe in marriage #and... maybe elizabeth's willingness to accept if victor has been unfaithful is inspired by her own marriage #where her husband neglected her when she had her miscarriages to be with his mistress instead #they did have an open marriage but *that* is going a bridge too far #frankenstein #frankenstein weekly #elizabeth lavenza #victor frankenstein #alphonse frankenstein

[heysawbones]

It’s 2:40 in the morning. I can’t sleep. Have the beginning of MO… in prose form.

February. The office of Emperor Steven Lee Crossroads XXXIX, whose full title we won’t trouble ourselves with right now. A young man named Bob leaned all his spindly weight on the double doors into his father’s office. Bob - The Crown Prince - had an important development to discuss.

Light flooded the doorway. Bob held a practiced forearm to his eyes, squinting. The back wall of the office was nothing but windows, which sounds nice but existed mostly to intimidate visitors by blinding the shit out of them. The windows had curtains, and the Emperor had functional arms and legs, but for reasons clear to nobody he often blinded visitors he had no apparent desire to intimidate. His son was no exception. Bob made his barely-seeing way to his father’s desk.

“Father.” He cleared his throat.

The older man looked up from a scattered pile of paperwork. “Ah. Hey, kid.”

Bob palmed sweaty hands all over his school uniform. This was more nerve-wracking than he’d like to admit. “I have something to tell you.”

“Oh? What’s on your mind?”

“Well, uh, do you remember Starlett Vandiver? She was at the TAKES fundraiser ball.”

“I know who she is.” The Emperor tilted his head.

“Oh! Good, yes. Good. Well!” Hands clasped behind his back, Bob rocked forward onto his toes. “We’re getting married!”

The pause before his father burst out laughing felt interminable. “Oh, kid, kid. Oh no.” He pulled his hand down his face. “Augh. Listen.” He spat disparate ha, ha, has as he shook his head. “Boy, you’ve never been too good with jokes. The ah, the timing’s all wrong. Just - turn around, walk out. Try again. I’ll laugh if ’s funny! Swear t’ Stal, I will.”

Bob was not fooled by his father’s diversionary tactics. This, he knew, was stress laughter. He held his head high and balled his fists.

His father sat back and started worrying a piece of paper between his fingers. “Bob.”

He stared. “This’s a joke, right.” He crumpled the paper.

Bob withered and couldn’t look him in the eye. “…No.”

The Emperor, a famously large man and privately infamous for emotional outbursts, flipped his desk. It didn’t go far, and landed on its side with a thud that reverberated off the walls of the sparse office. He hunched over the desk, chest heaving, head in his hands.

“Dad.” Bob little more than stumbled out of the vicinity of his father’s tantrum, and now approached as one approaches a frightened child - hands out, palms open. Quiet. Calm. “Look. Dad. It’s - it’s okay. We’re having issues with the Vandivers, right? This will make them stop parking the colony in stationary orbit and holding trade routes hostage. We can make some headway on that, ‘harboring terrorists’ thing. It’s going to help.” He came to a measured stop in front of his father’s fallen desk and slowly withdrew his hands, studying the tight lines of the man’s body and trying to tamp down regret. He hadn’t expected a positive response, but he hadn’t expected his father to react like a wounded animal, either. He’d hoped for some ridicule, maybe shouting. There would be eventual acceptance and acknowledgement of Bob’s initiative. A few more problems would be solved, and life would roll on. Bob could swallow his doubt.

He perked up when his dad straightened and dropped his hands.

“Kid. Listen to me. Y’ can’t do this.” Bob’s perkiness went in reverse. “You’re 17 god-damn years old. It’s-“ He sighed. “You didn’t already propose t’ her, did you.”

Bob frowned. “I have.”

His father frowned harder. “Do her parents know?”

“Of course they know. Everything’s been taken care of-“

“What do you mean, ‘everything’s taken care of’? Why would you -“ He began to gesture furtively. “You’re my son, Bob! You’re not -“ He looked around the room in desperation, as if there might be someone there to offer guidance. “You’re not a tool!” His voice rose. “I don’t need you t’ solve problems this way!” Bob’s father’s eyes met his, pleading.

“Dad it’s-it’s just a political marriage! This kind of thing happens all the time, what’s your p-“

“You’re throwing your life away.” His father’s roar shook the room. Bob stepped back, but would not, could not allow himself to back down.

“This is what my life is for!” Bob shouted back. “What am I, if I’m not a tool? It’s not like there’s some - perfect princess out there, waiting for me! It’s going to be fake anyway, so I thought, might as well solve some problems now instead of later! Why put it off? I’m expediting a solution!”

The Emperor fell silent, awestruck. He couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his son’s mouth, and neither could his son. They sprung, unbidden and unwanted, from some unspeakable loci of teen angst with which he had no conscious connection.

In that moment, it was unlikely that there were any right words to say. The Emperor snapped a booming HA in Bob’s face, and the boy winced.

“Dad-” But he’d already gone. The man stuttered pained laughter as he wove toward the windows, tangling his fingers in his hair.

There was nothing Bob could do. He turned away in disgust.

---

Over the next six months, Crown Prince Bob Crossroads (the First) tried to convince himself that marrying Starlett Vandiver was a good idea. In some ways, it was. Starlett’s parents ran the Vandiver Colony, a manmade habitable satellite made of… space junk. The Vandivers liked to put their actual trash heap into stationary orbits that just so happened to cross trade routes from planetary settlements, then demand money to move the damn thing so said trade could get through. All parties were aware that this was extortion, but the price was not so high as to outweigh the advantage of keeping the peace. The Empire paid up, and the Vandiver Colony kept most of its crime and libertarianism to itself.

Now that Bob and Starlett were engaged, the colony stayed out of the way. This was good, but Bob had to admit that it might not have been worth his hand in marriage. The colony began to cooperate with extradition requests, which, while nice, was underwhelming. Bob thought that it might’ve been better to leverage his marriage for something more valuable, but it was too late for that. He couldn’t bear to tell his father about his second thoughts. His father couldn’t put a stop to the wedding without risking very real repercussions from the Vandivers, anyway.

The wedding came and went. It had a surreal quality, alternating between a blur of faces and crisp memories of hands on silverware, Starlett’s diadem, his father gripping a glass of whiskey like a lifeline. Starlett was beautiful, but that didn’t mean much to Bob. He didn’t know her, and she wasn’t making it easy to try. He thought she would photograph well, and she did.

They didn’t have a honeymoon. They didn’t have sex. They stayed up and played cards until Starlett went back to the party to talk to some friends. She didn’t return until the small hours of the morning. He was surprised when she crawled into his bed, with him already in it.

It was alright.

---

Bob had few expectations of married life. All the marriages he knew intimately were defined by the constraints of living in the public eye. It wasn’t always easy to tell who genuinely loved, or even liked, each other. For the most part, it didn’t seem to matter. As far as he could tell, things seemed to work fine if you could balance a sense of being on the same team, with staying out of each other’s way. His parents had utterly failed at this, and that was why they were getting divorced.

Or, so he thought.

Bob believed he was up to the task. He and Starlett could keep each other up to date on any important things they learned, that the other might not hear about otherwise. They could make fun of people together. He’d have her back and she would have his, even if they weren’t exactly goo-goo eyed over each other. Low stakes! Simple.

This “plan” had a fatal flaw. That flaw was that it required Starlett to talk to Bob, and that wasn’t happening. The contours of the problem were so unfamiliar to Bob that he wasn’t 100% sure if she was avoiding him, or if he had somehow failed to initiate the act of talking to his wife correctly. Maybe if he figured out whatever step he’d missed along the way, she would suddenly notice him. When it became clear that she was actively ignoring him, he knew things couldn’t go on like that for long. Maybe he’d offended her at some point? Whatever the issue was, it needed solving soon. He wasn’t about to live out his foreseeable future like this.

Bob came up with another plan. Instead of giving her plenty of space, as he had been, he’d actively engage her. He’d ride to school with her, now that she’d transferred to Madigan with him. He’d try to share meals with her. He’d invite her to… watch TV with him. Shit, he had to do something. Bob wasn’t sure he could solve the problem this way, but he was confident that he couldn’t make it any worse.

He woke up the first Monday back to school after the wedding, pumped and ready to take action: they would ride to school together, he’d decided. Bob was nothing if not proactive. Unfortunately, she was gone before he was even done getting dressed. She left makeup and mysterious metal implements strewn across the bathroom counter. The disorder struck him as disrespect on top of disrespect, leaving him to frown at himself in the mirror. What was he to make of this? Starlett made herself at home in his life, yet rejected him. Was he not the gateway to her legitimacy? She came from what amounted to a crime family, much as they might make efforts to appear to be a nation-state. Much as others found it advantageous to buy into the illusion, for the sake of the inconvenience it did the Crossroads. Surely, Starlett must know what the reality is. Surely, she must see the danger in turning him against her, especially so early in the game.

Game?

Bob paused and blinked back over his shoulder at his reflection. 17 god-damn years old. You’re throwing your life away. I don’t need you to solve problems like this. His father’s words echoed for what had to be the thousandth time, conveniently silencing the split-second of self awareness in which he questioned the wisdom of gamifying his own life.

Homeroom offered neither an opportunity to foist his presence on his wife, nor to avoid her entirely. It took him a long moment to recognize that one of the two-foot-high smiling faces on the overhead light projector, looking off into the middle distance was his own. The other was Starlett’s. He and Starlett were both fresh, glittering in royal finery and backlit by the halo of the setting sun.

Bob was reminded of how good he was at faking smiles. He couldn’t tell if Starlett was actually pleased or not, but by god, they were picture perfect together. She was every bit the princess, with auburn ringlets cascading over her shoulders, loose hairs catching the light. The low murmur of chatter rose until the teacher cut them off with a sharp “Now.”

“Vacation’s over and done with! Back to the ol’ grind, eh?” He responded to scattered snickering by clearing his throat. “I hope you all enjoyed yourselves. Especially you, Bob.” The murmur roiled back, burbling just out of Bob’s periphery. He smiled stiffly.

“As you all know, young Mr. Crossroads here was married while we were away.”

“Yeah, we know, most of us were there,” came a quip from the back of the room. Bob felt 29 pairs of eyes bore into him.

“Yes, well.” Their teacher flicked open a retractable pointer and indicated the light projection. The pointer went right through and tapped the wall, leaving a wavering hole in Bob’s magnified cheek until the teacher jerked the pointer away. “I still forget that these things aren’t solid,” he muttered. “Anyway. Anyway!”

When the picture changed, Bob had a split second of hope that he would not be the topic of conversation this morning. Unfortunately, the picture was also of him and Starlett, this time cutting the wedding cake. The Emperor hovered in the crowd, hands stuffed in his pockets and looking away from the camera. Bob assumed his classmates couldn’t tell the difference, but he could read his father’s exhaustion.

“As you also know, there are… issues around the marriage.” He rapped the pointer across his desk. “Marian. Issue.”

Bob caught one of his smaller classmates out of the corner of his eye. She sheepishly straightened in her chair. “Oh, um, the Empire and the Vandiver Colony don’t get along.” No shit, thought Bob.

“Yes. Many assume the marriage is related. Hanya.”

“They’re both like… 18.” A titter rolled through the class. Bob’s grip on his desk tightened.

“Darryl.”

“Look, straight up, no - no offense, Bob-“ He raised his hands in supplication as Bob’s frozen glare snapped to his classmate. “I totally thought he was gay. I’m -“ The class exploded into hoots and guffaws. Darryl gestured for everyone to tone it down, stifling his own grin. “I’m just - I’m just saying! It’s not a thing, I just thought that. It’s in WOW! Weekly this morning, so-“ He picked up an analog tabloid and flapped it around a little. His words were mostly lost to the riot of Bob’s classmates talking over each other about Bob’s voice - he doesn’t really sound gay, but what does that mean, anyway? -, his mannerisms, how attractive Starlett was. How Bob didn’t seem to have ever had a girlfriend. Did he have a secret boyfriend? Maybe he was one of those people who didn’t like sex at all. Or friends. The cacophony was in turn lost in the sound of blood rushing in Bob’s ears.

He missed the next 45 minutes and didn’t notice that time was a thing that happens until the bell rang. Bob’s classmates skittered and bounced out of their seats like pinballs, eventually filtering out the door. It didn’t occur to him to follow. He sat with his long legs awkwardly jackknifed under his desk, knees jammed hard into the underside.

How much of this happens because I act like it’s okay to treat me like a news item? Like it’s normal?

He jerked at the vibration of rapping on his desk. “Bob,” his teacher’s voice bordered on a whisper. “You alright?” Concern creased the man’s all-too-earnest face. Pissed Bob right off.

“I’m fine.”

The teacher’s face said he didn’t believe Bob. “You see, it’s not - that we want to hurt your feelings or anything, it’s just that - as the Crown Prince, you’re going to be the current event at times. Surely, you must be used to it by n-“

“I said I’m FINE.” Bob snapped to his feet and loomed over his teacher. The man shrank, just slightly. “When did I say I wasn’t? I didn’t say anything,” he hissed through clenched teeth.

“I didn’t say anything at all.”

He left his teacher wondering if he might lose his job in the next 24 hours and escaped into the seemingly less judgmental hallway. Sure enough, Bob’s peers were more concerned about getting lunch than they were about him. He, on the other hand, had no appetite. He stopped at his locker to put away some books, and retrieve another - an outdated, but still interesting, library text on robotics. He was peripherally aware of how his peers broke and peeled away to let him pass, but after years of not knowing how to address the habit, he’d decided to let it be. Bob suspected this wasn’t an issue his father had when he attended the same school, so many years ago, but was too afraid of spotlighting his own deficiencies to ask the man about it. He wasn’t sure when he’d grown afraid of asking his father questions about himself. He wasn’t sure why. This was the first time he’d even been aware that he was. He shouldered into the door leading out to the courtyard hard enough to jar the air from his lungs.

It was crisp out. Not quite cool, but with a brisk wind. A little too bright, perhaps. Bob made long, crunching strides over the vibrant, manicured lawn. He had a particular tree he was fond of, with roots just the right size to hold him and flat surfaces one could get away with putting a drink on. People were kind, or respectful, or fearful enough to leave him his tree. Bob settled in and cracked his book. He was keen on appearing busy; appearing nerdier than he actually was. Boring. Not someone to talk to, immediately after having been the center of classroom discussion - a time when, historically, his peers had wanted to check in with him after. It genuinely did not occur to him that this could be out of concern - that they might find it awkward to discuss him as if he wasn’t there, with him sitting very much right there - that they might worry about what that does to a person. They never outright asked if he was alright, so he assumed it was a morbid curiosity that brought them to poke and prod at him with questions. Maybe it was. Being paranoid and cynical, doesn’t make you wrong. In reality, he needed a moment to refocus himself on the plan. What mattered was that he figured out a way to connect with Starlett. He knew where she ate lunch, and with whom. What was the best way to approach the group? Should he just… walk up? Should he call out to her from a distance? Should he do it… assertively? God, what was he even doing wrong other than existing? Would she like it better if he didn’t exist?

“Hey.”

Bob looked up slowly, as if he hadn’t been jerked out of himself. Three of his classmates stood above him, apparently not dissuaded by Bob’s large and nerdy book. They all smiled.

“Hm?” He looked neither perturbed, nor pleased, to see them. Perfectly neutral. Blank.

“Congrats, man!”

The other boys nodded along, mirroring the leader’s enthusiasm. “Yeah, yeah, congratulations.”

Bob’s brow knit. He could not imagine what on earth they would be congratulating him for.

“I can’t believe you married a Vandiver! Shit, the hottest one, too.” The boy on the left drew a curvy torso in the air, provoking a subtle frown and toe jab from the leader. “I didn’t even know you were seeing each other.”

“No one did.” The redhead on the right spoke up.

“Yeah, no one did,” the three murmured to each other before looking intently to Bob, as if he might offer some explanation.

Oh. It’s this. Being congratulated on his marriage made him feel. Unsteady, almost queasy. “Thanks.” He cleared his throat. “You know it’s… politically sensitive. Nobody wanted to make room for speculation, before everything was arranged.”

This answer seemed to satisfy them, and they all nodded their assent. For a moment, there was silence. Then, a nervous toe twisting in the grass. “... Man, you should’ve told us sooner? Right?” The leader elbowed those to the left and right of him in an attempt to spur the kind of energy that Bob effortlessly sucked right out of the interaction. They all squared their shoulders before leaning in all over each other and gesturing enthusiastically, reading less as individuals to Bob just then, than a bumbling hydra. Out of the cackling and indecipherable, brotherly muttering came, “Yeah! Could’ve got your dad to lower the drinking age, like, we’d throw you one hell of a party.”

“Yeah, man.” Sexy-Torso-In-The-Sky grinned. “Best party you’ve ever seen, am I right? Am I right?” He turned to the leader, who had his arms around his compatriots’ shoulders and was already gently leading them away.

“Anyway, Bob,” He nodded back towards the tree, a momentarily illegible look quickly replaced with a bright smile. “Again, congratulations.”

“Yeah… thanks… again,” Bob called after them as they got smaller.

Sexy-Torso-In-The-Sky had a finger in the air. Bob could barely hear his declaration that Starlett was, in fact, hot enough to turn a faggot straight. The wincing was internal.

#modus operandi #prose #why the hell not I guess

[riken-leather-co]

Bapzo Propaganda | Flare and Cold Compress |

“Is something the matter brother?”

Hanzo grimaced, ignoring Genji’s question in favor of trying to finish his tea. The mess hall was more lively than Hanzo liked. He’d come with the intention of enjoying a cup of tea to help with his joints. Of course, when he’d decided that the mess hall had been empty, which quickly changed. Fortunately, many of the members still took to giving him a wide berth seeing as he’d only been a part of Overwatch for roughly a month. While the constant eyes were annoying - he can’t say he didn’t deserve it. Plus, he’d rather the stares than awkward small talk. His brother didn’t get the memo.

“I am fine Genji,” Hanzo said, sighing. Still, Genji did not leave him alone despite every sign he was giving telling him to.

“If it’s about your legs -”

“It is not.”

“I know you have your reservations about Angela -”

“Then stop suggesting her.” It wasn’t the fact that the woman had lectured him upon his first arrival that kept him away. In fact, he could vaguely say he’d warmed up to her a bit afterwards. At least someone would hold him responsible for his past transgressions if his brother would not. No, Hanzo simply had reservations about most doctors and medical care. Ten years of isolation and tending to his wounds would do that. And, even before then, the clan doctors were skilled but it was looked down upon to admit to pain.

Genji sighed. He fell quiet and Hanzo thought he’d know peace for once. Until Genji looked around and lit up - Hanzo followed his line of sight. He saw the cowboy and another man laughing. Dark skin, warm eyes, and a strong build. Hanzo’s eyes slid appreciatively along the man’s arms before flashing back up to his face when he laughed again. Hanzo recalled glimpsing the man a few times before. A wave or two in the halls in Hanzo’s direction, but no long conversations. What had his name been…?

“Baptiste!” Genji clapped him on his shoulder and tore him from his thoughts. “He’s a medic. And, he’s relatively new too - two months I believe? Maybe a bit longer?”

“He is a medic?”

“Combat medic. Plus you’re both problem children, that’s what Winston said anyway.”

Hanzo gave him an unamused look. “I am not a child.”

“Still. Give it some thought, brother. Baptiste has been helping Angela some. He’s a good man and well…,” Genji mulled over his words. “...He is not close with me. So you shouldn’t receive any judging looks.”

So his brother was aware of the other agents' treatment of him. He was both embarrassed and irritated in equal measures. No doubt his brother had personally taken it upon himself to try and appeal Hanzo to them. Hanzo drained his cup and stood, washing it in the sink before leaving without another word. There weren't any intentions on his part to seek this Baptiste out. But, after a week where walking was getting increasingly more difficult, he finally caved. If Hanzo didn’t like what the man had to say, he’d simply leave.

“Computer - where is Baptiste?”

“Baptiste is currently in the medical ward. Should I send word that you will require his presence?”

“Unnecessary, I shall go to him.” Hanzo grit his teeth against the flare of pain that rocketed through his legs as he stood. Once he took a steadying breath, he made his way quickly through the halls.

Once he arrived, Hanzo didn’t waste any time stepping into the room. He didn’t want to risk second guessing his decision. While he considered it a weakness to admit that such a small thing was bothering him, it’d be worse to fall in the midst of battle because of it. There was quiet music playing through the room in a language Hanzo didn’t understand. A contrast to how quiet it’d been while Mercy had worked. Everything else was the same, stark white medical beds lining one side and tools neatly organized on a workspace. Two desks - instead of the one he was told it used to be - sat side by side. Baptiste was humming along to the music as he typed away at a laptop.

When the doors slid open the man turned around and blinked. “Oh - what’s up? Er, Hanzo right?”

“Yes.”

“Baptiste.” Baptiste turned in his chair, typed one last thing into the laptop before shutting it and turning it back around. He stood and stretched before walking over to Hanzo, sticking out his hand while smiling. “Sorry. I don’t think I ever got to greet you. Bad manners, I know, I don’t make it a habit. They keep a man busy and your brother said you liked your space so…”

“I do,” he said simply. He eyed Baptiste’s hand before grasping it. The man’s hands were rough - a combat medic indeed.

“Then I don’t think you came here just for a proper introduction,” he teased, stepping back. “How can I help?”

Straight to the point, he liked this Baptiste already. He’s sure by now Mercy would have asked him many questions before getting to the point. The words doctor and combat medic were two different things after all. Hanzo walked over to one of the beds and sat down, rolling up his pants leg to reveal his prosthetics. Baptiste grabbed a chair and rolled it over to take a closer look.

“May I?” Baptiste asked.

“You may,” He said. Baptiste’s hands were sure but careful as he began his inspection. “My knees have been having flare ups. Something I have dealt with before but they have been especially bad. Itching and burning are amongst the side effects.”

“I see.” Baptiste whistled, face concentrated as he carefully prodded where the prosthetics met his flesh leg - watching for reactions. The area was red and inflamed. He glanced up at Hanzo, face pinched in concern. “When was the last time you removed your prosthetics?”

“.....,” Hanzo stared at Baptiste thoughtfully. “Hm.

“.....”

“...Sometime before Overwatch perhaps?”

Baptiste looked very unamused and Hanzo felt slightly abashed. He looked away as the man rolled away and sighed, muttering about ‘Who’s worse? Cassidy or You?’. Hanzo watched him rummage around in the drawers before returning with a few items in hand. They were set on a table nearby.

“I’m not going to lecture you because frankly I’m 100% sure you know you’re supposed to remove them frequently so they can take a break, right?”

“Yes. I’m no fool.”

Baptiste stared at him for a second and Hanzo felt a flare of irritation. Finally, the man looked away and sighed. He busied himself with organizing some of the things he’d gathered. “Look. I know a little about you and your brother. I’m no angel either, so I get it - really. Being surrounded by people who know what you’ve done can put you a little on edge, so you don’t want to be weakened around them, right?”

Hanzo scowled. But, even if he wanted to lash out and deny such claims, he couldn’t. Even before Overwatch he’d go long periods without removing his legs. Hanzo wanted to be able to run in any given circumstance.

“I didn’t sleep for a week straight when I first got here. Too busy trying to meet and familiarize myself with everyone in an attempt to get comfortable. Then I passed out while training, which wasn't a pretty sight.” Baptiste said. He passed Hanzo some of the items. “But, if you don’t let your legs take a break they’ll only get worse. At best you’ll just need new prosthetics, at worst you’ll be banned from missions for awhile while you recover. If something happens during those times you won’t be able to run at all.”

Two of the items were separate types of pain medication, while the others were a mix of warm and cold compresses. Hanzo glanced at Baptiste through his lashes unhappily. “Then when do you suggest I find the time and place?”

“In your room, or somewhere else. You’re an assassin right? I’m sure you’ve scoped out this area and found a few secluded areas, don’t lie,” Baptiste said. He held his hands up defensively when Hanzo glowered at him. “Or, you could do so in here or my room - I won’t do anything. Cassidy’s entrusted me with his arm a few times, so you could ask him -”

“I will not be asking that cowboy anything,” Hanzo said. At the least, his brother wasn’t suggested. Baptiste seemed to know he wouldn’t appreciate the suggestion.

Baptiste nodded and rolled away to give Hanzo space to stand. “If the pain persists, swing by again and I can take another look.”

“...Thank you.” Hanzo bowed his head stiffly before leaving the room. He wasted no time in returning to his room. It took an hour before he worked up the courage to actually follow Baptiste’s advice. After instructing the computer to put his room on shut down, he removed his legs - immediately feeling a slight relief. It was only heightened when he took the medication and pressed one of the compresses against the area. Hanzo sighed as his muscles relaxed minutely. He’d only meant to leave them off for a bit, but it was such a difference to the pain he’d ended up falling asleep.

Even after one day, the difference was becoming obvious. At least that’s what Genji said. The lights lit up on his visor when he stepped into the mess hall.

“You look your age now, brother!”

“What is that to mean?”

Genji didn’t elaborate, just turning to wave at Baptiste from across the hall. Who, upon seeing the both of them, waved back happily.

“Don’t forget my offer Hanzo!” Baptiste called. It drew a few unwanted eyes in his direction that had his eyebrow twitching.

“Do not ask.” He muttered to Genji before sitting down.

#jean baptiste augustin #overwatch #overwatch 2 #hanzo shimada #whumptober 2023 #fanfic #no.13 #no.14 #cold compress #flare #prosthetics

[libidomechanica]

For, like spell beginnings

A ballad sequence

               1

Well, Sir, from the cold seas have and     you warbled through he can. To heauen in them ken he’s seen a     virtues feet, where their fan,

to the could stop here—a kid I     on the efforts fair; heap the Hall, my Maud, she that would not     down best tool that I’ll sew

a great effect our clay,—thoughts mind     with haughty can dare vndersaye, thye neuer days, in the measure     though these year weak as ever

any chance; and fair; and increase,     and that crop—for Juan’s earliest for the grey: a whispers     breeding; yet here, since

when I fall frost weep not sting; for     peasants!—Lovers like tertians, of the saddest—and morning     Post? Or veer or Baal, when

Love is word his own identity     should be smart: and to qualities which the sword in love     look in the hall. Haste, no

light with shape: tis not that kindling     Religion, poor a plighted everything knowledge. Who, in     honde, in Temper,—all you

I envy neither eye, hauled away.     Each side, I saw those Grace—Fitz-Fulke, when summer heat? How     have pass’d away, wants to

perch dovelike in jest, but thy     hearts, if not as all it loving the wild birds doen hem     disgusting hot to beareth

thee. And Mrs. But heaving her     brotherly he taken winters, where the account them still     doth lingering liberty;

and when all we against then he     begun. Utter as care, whose tower of thy grief, young angell     shriller echo ring?

               2

—What binds us: strong their evening as solemn hood.     Two young Phoebus in the first lov’d voice? Then once, or for ioy could still adorning comely     woman breast. Or an authority, on the steel-mirror soon I have heard and heal’d therefore,     but a liquid pulses. For yet them a single her Ears with a minister: places,     like thing that all thy beauty slaine

the sun. As if thou, fair Fitz-Fulke! To keep one could     through they will, at being old Sunday ever may. Pursues the who wish he was great hall,     but faith I have been all they thy love the worth of myself to pass is it always     premising one death weight of heart in a little ones I may not undo with bitternesses.     Seasons as if perch dovelike

illness play’d something swarm with crime, you then wound, as     poetry left to sanctity! Because of roses do not thou know you hanging wronged     loues pray, to-morrow to pass to restored; the united by the Hill, Amundeville     is harmonizes heart and that unfair where, with pyne and air of ’T was a great     crop—for Juan show that tongue for grief beside

it, for grief indeed is the rayne prayed together     drinking on the distinguish, dare not your times, it cannot do thou to tally, about     a Tory at last, a riddle, Fame there? One sigh altar stands hearing of those who     under cloud. Destined not join not repress in court a Gothic bricklayer of fair Day,     awake! Without more or less the priest

and dew, young place; dusk for words, now she was a     carcanet of merit, and now Will’s eyes assaid, But, as heart covetous and leaue what weapons     to show another. He inquire lie with girland my Spectre follies of Blank—but     rare conceald throw better, like to set before my pen has made wretched. And several     arts of Fidelity; because you

can heart or tall might chemical kiss said; there are     holding: now yawns all the ways—or fall be dead have some countenanted to discover     in her fly, ofte peeping, and hanging men, with toying in look—and Hell thou smooth semilucent     mist, did I,—to the his judgment— never was occupation? ’Ve lost repose,     but see that had not that, in Nature’s

discords need course that my hand, and joys of much     bustle that we can knot, wholly held sacred ceremony but like the paper, mute     admirari’ was true play’d some country’s primrose to shrills from the Crab behind none in     the very centre a higher niche, nigh, or on his soul disdain’d, I wish to take them:     then, some fair sedate, or cramm’d twelve peers

by mad ears, both busy through the will which judge’s     jokes, recounties have not love is me, and then what stranger of that commeth in, before     than the towne bridle and Tears unshatter’d by the world-deafen’d earls, glance at last, in a     poet, poet laureate, I proceed in-felt affection with soul and ever lash!     A glorious lampes of good blacking

yourself, long since reader! But also dull to     spend their grave with one so great grace I sate has lately move of bliss! By the rose in your     mother’s knell; till in a mode be people always great, but to pluck my heart’s like a happen     where the irregular tune of his! But, O, what he and float all. So Orpheus     did appear’d sublime beyond this, folly,

or our England’s hospitality—its     quantity is enough they so few knowne gayne, they added hear it? And false whisp’rings were gene:     ’ the Master’s corner, but nowe is in high to waft here praise. Alas! Appear like cloud, now     I thinke those who was clear-cut face, O Sorrow departee. But after rippling of peaches     we are blind to the earthly sound grows

woman soul and enricht. Is that all they seem bound     for sale, but still: I cannot boast; I was spoil’d carpet—but where heaven above a mocked;     that he exactly ascertain’d esteemed as quite as your forehead yuory while for in     communion, if possible blossoms come, socked in the wylde wolues while the daily, laid.     He regretted hearken to thy native

of ours, where to given back to its behalf,     let alone in the loves they thy weeding much bustle widder, he wounded hopes and squires:     they are gone. Those whom? Were some sullen concentre, her who had not today, the his bright     and sing westward up the doctor to recommend the restless might, behold, but it boldly—     or Thou hast mind with more, now! Glory

has my first-born Child, with love to see and so     ’gan crave, i’m sure which sweet and morn as that way that’s call’d restore. For width, or a Titian,     who by turns and begot the skin that sith the orange, wherewith Ins and say—     ’Ah!—Blows eight arm of heavens expand, the pass’d by, as you must, the subway she bow’d in     arms and thou hast away for a taper

sing, ne let there was its heard a hill be as     time, this,. Redemption some living blood- drops, as of children, thus we could not in the tall     trouts and others, who admire they ride out, but heart. Upon his capricious to his     docility; like lame glimmer of the race. Make vs once sour whilst I, my song, from source     to Soho, and, in it: in thing! Cast

not thee, with broad as paled with a key, and bare shew     cold mushrooms; for a tapers—and what’s not much; if one but the words brink of recollective     with crimes, and euer lite. While Romancers, and saw her beauties still, t is in freemasonry     a high heauen the morning-time declined, which my lordships its red light, through his son,     but with one mad, with delays, and recall

more pallid.—At this not imitate the season;     Lust think what their loss to have from the grassy air to smiles bespeak laws to Honour     playmates of peace. And unperplexing waies, great race-winner: great curse this where nought to rouse:     such hurry, thro’ thy perswasions of Dura, reaping with sweet: shall sighs, and view’d a skyey     mask, a pint-sized journeyed in the great

skill, at once as he witching, than enough once declines,     but a buzzing by my ears to art: the firmament remaine. In so profound land—     And Wordsworth her veil, ponder’d—all about his prophetic solitudes can ever     side, I shall sides all cheerefull board, and hunger, darken’d many, and i’m always great     Latmos so ever! Just as are away!

Her prayses since, tearily, yet left its bringing     so fashionable being her vsury of sacrifice. All for her silvery, who     believe when ought there robben one sweet the wheels may have no precious as reserving like     not stern—an old temple. An LP of poppies, will didst thou thinking about your selues;     for stony death. Or pierce: wherever

to heare hear me sings, about the Well of pleasant     king, ne willing said he if you may be the day, thoughts with soule opprest, takers of     the pastimes, it seemed for such pertain or Gray Highlands, that eats all in her mine! Singing     to win! Upon this stay said: I ‘And though too thick they’ve been tried, to show another.     Nor trumpets sound, why dost thou not err.

               3

So sayings of Inde the pitch of     children are told through the written upon my shame to what     honour, had not worthy

of your conversation, which makes     his he but talents, again. To Norman Abbey the Hilt,     catch their physician had

gone through thick and thou return and     blessing-rods of gold cup, what is t? He led me leave     tumultuous that solitude

on the dale, to hammer a     hunting place unwoo’d and me, till with steps worn a path to     cheer, and so kind. The sweet,

like spell, or your dew. In visions     from his host, if ghost, a way to help me, I do not with     lasting in—I too would

merely the deere loue to me; taking.—     ’Twas Bacchus! Lives their child sitteth by bonnet brave, i’m     sure must eat core and pastures

of wine! To her of mounted     or did wed myself I see my all ages shining sit,     having sunny atmospheres,

escaping a Mirror     that seeldome tie here. Juan put down—and wearier the rose too,     without door wide street I

though you are Mine said he, to draw     the green wooed and be a guilt brought for she could enter. Hardly     condensed; but I’m not

your voice doth go. Many a line     undone,—the way when as other way back? He moved as such     deplore what’s what you

overstrain beginners breeding one     another sex’s antidote. Small is sting; for its avalanche     can evening, and bid

adieu to heaven before for     a moment passes through to quote and cold days can see, makes     us ourselves—and ye

therefore: on the spirit and the     pretence—for years, distills your mountains, and strange tradesmen, when     it is the memory.

               4

And may make fair from his golden     with much war the know whither, and scudding and pale. And takes     no anodyne; give me in the rose I lost pulse, and trees     all arbitrate? Full of slurry seas! The fewer, little     bird, tender, dear brother.

               5

To thee, with waking that dismay;     perhaps she no less and laid out unto one day and deeper     than the space made

epigrams occasionally after     lovers power, the beach is the meadows, with flow’ry thorns     witness to do, therefore

perhaps ye are gone—even blush,     but hide that all men may vs with Asian elephants:     onward to music: for

they though which he may read, and thus     acquaint, old, cold snails will try to the budding like music     whiskey, on pain, thou mad’st

me leaues or heaven must that, carry     while ye write—love’s ghosts in a bottle wings: despond rather     display’d. The portrait

he calenture brought, I will go     without display’d; and teach thee, Melancholy into clamor     with not turn to the

cold earth, still, t is experience     in lovely been teeth on your hair: though awkward to     marvelous experience.

And paint you sudden wing, even     the fruitful tree, why dost lead, an innocuous occupied     by bonnie Doon to

him who listen and another     acts uncouth, when theyr flocks still a-flying at a silver     and my Eccho ring. That

this chiefe light touch, first and stout galley-     rowers’ toil: with it. A children utterly! Be confirm’d     but weare: what they should

do, but whereby thou may trace looking     onto the June than known existence, for a mouse, which     no said he why not, that

to my ample, untested surface     no mean a Gothic brick or this poachers; their face, her     clinch; and the passion saw,

and a long agoe: for by on its     half its other harp, whose drapery hints we can great, being     present cuts there we

must hand full of cunning away,     this is how I may for ocean’s part, I am not yet     he turn come forhaile.

               6

Always be set less bigge Bulles     of glad to sayne the page, exempt from the Shah beheld awake,     and not great hunt: but

where are name, then as Lord Henry     and fain, peona, we are wears took delight, scarlet cloak I     hate’ she appetite! If

thou, and generate breezy air;     let us many a Gothic Babel, call’d the lovers     are blasphemies. Once, tame

to be for the shepheards, and he     said.—Gold comely Youth be flowres a hollow spoken wordy     feud, we tire of

Fidelity; who each, again:     its shrills, that roam of the most mad and leaue to enioy! All     that chamber, voice—divine.

Dry, decrees of Both were a mortal,     shun them in a nook apartment in white pillows scope     to a rendezvous, and

what a silver cup, nails rusting     isn’t hardly have they are less daughters dumb as the owl his     granted heat. Retired, until

justices of your nor seek,     i’m sure there speak the heard would not a joy to lie here! Has     told; the only waters

the glory for euer sleep, he inquire     lie with dumber, or that all the world upon new-made     his lady fair, and this,.

That any droops our breast: look back     somewhere do you are away, wants been in slumber; so once     you exchange and no gunners

the grouse till his grace I sawe     thy head through food in mine to write above there in you, and     leaues or men, and hast my

life, though its course thee, there is, stolne     to see her and new similar condemn me to play the     invention to step them?

               7

Now day it came an endless sneers.     Worst times be in our love: but the complain, and numerous     ditties most precautious

time he canvass scarce a thirst for     the myster sayings of the sun’s meriment. Of course, no     little token, an’ ken

ye how thou content to each other     way backs, in them very same by which graceful and cold,     he though food in the deep

enough to pleasure ye even     from beneath together tooke out the barren way, making     the fashion of a lean

on that ever person. I’m keping     more, not waiting daily, laid. Being you out the eagle     birds that distortion

of wrong for once you drink potions     he was sometimes I touch their bowers whether to the pools     where than seruants sings, whose

approaching unnaturally no     greatest Gogmagogs, though, alas! The waggish formal, and     from the only almanack.

Patriotism—albeit     come to tracery of love. Deigned not her wife or maid;—     a topic scandal doth

only is high condition to     wander’st in bounty meetings, mine’s foaming stirs again; and,     husband, ceased to expectant,

powerful his owne bride, ladies     seek him in its soften’d with the bed. Great; there was a     music, am banished

our robe de chambre may i feel me     theyr drery accents thy soul bereft, with Bacchus store him     pale, state how Meg o’ the

Harvest of maiden prime. Sad shall     arbitrate?—I leaves life’s blissful swoons and then of all waters     weird, but to feed, those

who, wander in the disenthral:     ye shall taste, and two thou devotion from his glory, and     knew not the stal, is now

one Bread. He shown their grave music     till the skill you require. Judgment, anxious as he     If to lure—Endymion!

               8

He taxes, and I shall likeness,     we went night with their horrid sprites shall ne’er saying in     these thou may fall be gods

of his gravity; he said he     not only a word I have been of griefs the Woolfe seen thine     other to which nourishment

as thou sit and thy ball is     laughter from their autumn, a sweaty city, a things of     life in you. The fathers

her form you might cost would be cherryes     charmes, ne let the King of tea, which console sad as     elephants: onward like

fire they from the talk of me:     thereto applauds, and full possest flatter-mint, and kings—a     topic scandal stamp’d upon

my knee is prey, cobbling dwell?     You are Mine said she no more attentious, that turn not—no,     not well a story of

two must be dry, through the cup as     plover’s care, or doth fill, and teaches we are shut long since     thy beauty’s daughters did

euermore: and took into the lade     o’ my soul was bedded. And the there lie this said; bearable:     pennies seek surrender

to what are gone, seized the rhymes,     and ward, from soddein forest, a riddle, Fame thou hast both     with whom The Wise Self-subject

too: perfection! With a     minister: places, and with dazzled like Tom Jones, by vain he     had a page unto the

world I look’d about this at present     culprit was offer: Pan will beauty’s daughter, an ye     recognize. Cruel coxcomb,

in hope and disposed thought, though lifted     o’er the song and happinesse? A rich indeed is the     blushes and violets, which

he deem’d charmers, who is their table     towre, and flush Summer, golden pleasure thoughts while Joy’s a     stream, and oh, you may turns

to gives: the rope in the dolor     on his strengthened, and he adore a saint: the woman tis     true we are said her sweet

comedie by such a glass o’     Inverness, nae joy I see the morning Though reserving&never     thy nobler, that comedie

by such poor ring-doves with bathing     to a labyrinth now vnthought found strains is not only     cured. Which banish influence

slipslop now among their and     thereof he came ye, jolly Satyrs! He felt so farre away     from might keep here; nor

much of feeling made of late, and     glances; the Hearts were stood with lying and blood are thou thyself     is dawnest of woman

is so exalt wilt shines to     be enough, each with her sunny skies the far fortnight, and     repress in country would

plump its birth—Despair was a stand     I rejoicing, and glanced his chain it were and powers! And     speakers, in azure mirth!

               9

There we weep; on the heau’n to this     water filter’d in vain for at easeth hem make country     can be anything heir

ampler, and he kill’d. If I were     heat not quite into Eternal evening by taking opened     ball, for her sweet

Communion to her very sad? We     might be remember who sittes not a joke for ill haue     my lost three lovely Davies.

His briar’d pathetic solitary     glorious rarity while Scout the curb next resound,     forget—an old talent

to damn, her own fa’ forth and     would cure me. As if perchanged from better later ligge     in a hard bit. Nor in

Christendome: but instep their lectures,     and through the belt of song, ’ set trash of which last few lire     ticking out of

convalescence; not blue are her prayse.     Scowl on, ye fates all around a wise are dispute about     to the vehicle, she

would lightly on, this flesh helps flesh,     men and eyes that other lip, the manner of art, must let     it show to mine own depth.

               10

That most and never live again!     The graue and lightly expectant, power, where he sees! Sleepy     one, witching search’d Abyssinia rouse: such is adorn:     no, by Heaven, no second. Why stands hearing the one reproues     the coming Soldiers

woos, and as was no doubters did     moue, with a little Sip of that, admirari’ was water     filter’d the morning, the year’s pleasance too much. And let     them that few have felt how it is not seen! Loves at once more     in doubts honour thing, he

thing, condemn me to staunch the deere     long laugh at nature rather of such was the rough hasty     accidents, yet saw that broken chord. Past while. It seemst to     hear the kitchen-table or his tent writing sit, and man’s     swell; for which oft, with full

moon, nor brain treason to disparage     these valleys. Whilst I, my soul be undergrown souls, or     sunk, and apple-leaves. Her wish, that I may fall ask no more     eath themselves eternal line consisted of—we gives us     ourself seem high place;

and they are gouerned in the mortal     serene of wine! Entrap, nor griefly harmful deeds, that     broke form’d, replaced, this chain, and whisper of the rays of glossy     jet surpass for the dale, that deep in us, to holds.     Of what we use everything.

The feathers, and ranne out, there     is no peace, the sky is like Write it! Ye though t was a     forlorn child forests dreading away more substantial fold,     coin’d from heaven can be seen, but once, and pebbles blue hill:     tho may we talk o’er them.

Plucked in a rushing in northern     autumn’s day is holy drear, of late? He that all; old I     am—thwarted, affrights, ne let hem gange and represence.     Of course; a long Excursion from a falcon-eye? Are they     rode, or cardamom rubbed

on me which succeed the test, but     heated by Deceptions of the deawy leaue like a knot     often, in Blank—but rarely: were seen where that I may not     shall the ridiculous benches. Against wreck the tyrant’s     robe de chamber shells, and

small tree or they embrace the same     mystic friar’s curious, just forth the orange, the brings     are ourselves—’t was a warm as a depth of Englishment     as thou down fa’ forbid that’s that clear late rain and meanwhile     the arrangements, again;

for merit may heauenly guifts of     his new simile her two shout, that seemes a virgins     in the lasses, and next to all men, and too much it griev’d,     or to company’s a sombre hue, and let out of art, and     saved my store, behold alone,

when they had been sing, the price;     o’er which she was Lord of Goethe’s Mephistopheles; but     I’ll be design, i, who lives come out and generation,     and dreamer, wake and bred, because the sea as it cheek a     richesse of Aurora’s

eyes pit thou return’d from the objects     by his lady. His buddy asked buds discourse; a longing     confirm him in youth, I had forgot, my lady smile     here.; With spice and thus acquaint and scudding out with their lonely     planet of his hair

awakes—and, strawberries spread     their severed grace, by old Rhadamanthus’ tongue will die too,     its light—the dust, think that I am cautious and day round     me nighting rather timid necks and passing: voices? Should     soon, or tiptoe, fair of

coxcombs. Dear, did flowers when will     you remain’d, in Britain most music, whether savour from     living been; but a leafe sturre.—Because, ’-is what priority     arising only they course the centre, past the     General inebriety.

               11

And are the flood. Bid her stole that.     The moon, and crushed bird skulls in yon desert be the kindled     the sages. Me: we all

his bride: and as ye vse to the     chase when a culprit came to thy sweet was they will sooner     come living for Kim. Still

retains bred, beheld they might keep     away among? Nurses the wave is; sae drooping late     reviving Lochaber back.

               12

Sometimes be inly spent, and ha’     the nerved to worth her display, for thy would have ye     left me by the countenanted

dart of woman to waft     here, but I wene beast appear’d to Truth’s brief years over you,     even dreaming flower

a goblin’s nonentity. Into     his body in the most rarely smiles, yes, where is no     sports at me taken winter

and her to play as waning     to burn; and all my tortur’d bridegroom gat sae faith I heard     the grew awhile, that

whatever tarry. Peruse; he taxes,     and Clear Heart to hunt with dogs and made: and all the lake’s     sufficient Hag of Fate,

which you might bed horrible cottage     upon wonder upon the snow; it seemes that message     preparated so;

her carnage taught to sanctity!     Something liberty began to be for the light, or sing     through he sued. Her like a

children, the lordly would have earth:     and which how the Mill haunt the others carry into close;     the door. Mine eyes from your

own soul that northern shores, when he     great a curate; some living shrubs, how could be a guilt—a     very birth, it kiss, the

cloud girth of beauty to dight, and     euermore, that but a horse laugh demolish’d for aye: spread the     tap is dripping her scourge.

               13

But what tilted tiny houses     went after seem a heterogeneous matter, the woods     them as honest simplicity has been wilt take, dear love.     Emasculate; wherewith I was not lost, as of a     rich in mellow left it:

so in a row and truffles: temper,—     all you never gave her brother, fierce pure sanctity!     Ah, what we ours, nostrils bold, before you. Blessing is. The     sea; bleed, and small-talk about how insane the question with     any one through to some

holy hood. No fair hand with brows     that best. To the only visitant as a music dying     at their docility; because—such war the partake,     after than the suffer, beam on my Bed, my gold along     the country summer or

vanish’d the gnarled hail; great sensation,     like one I love nor inspecting art, soon, ah, soon, it     seems to feed, those of an instant laughing bright to shines so     diuine ravisht, staid not much deplore what’s youngly thousand talent     to save all for us,

if the days must eat core and     more substance still frost an hair’s brief years, the Choristers still     vnto her saying so timid necks, which he took his hearts to     pitie the nerve it, ’ and Will’ more. So goodly bear a woman     is singing, loved you hear?

See! Whose flesh more stounde, so I vnto     my hope doth go. His plump its wounded hear it: secure—she     is yet greene, and never sweet voice to a second morn, and     trace thou may find him. Whom ye this keen a bride, about it     seems to his Head, turn’d her

and that’s call. ’Re barrenly perish:     she cool’d in a carcanet of men, there new moon sad     Zephyrus! Bitter strife, nor lone slumber crept upon the     sublime, with with repeats the dice seen.—Without all triumph,     must away her the race!

               14

Thou mought praise of the Mauis descant     playne, let all things for what she pours to lay to you out. I     should laughing jest, you’ll root

and clear than sight of her long     already more ioyfull day the shpheards to her sex’s antique house     up at his eyes, the hear

sweet, difficult for rest; where are     gone, is gone, and the honey, ’ held as faithlessness of what     euer I cast on thee. Renew,

were or less, fainting side of     his crystal circle-glory! Went at intends to be lost     as a den, an’ ken ye

how to hand that’s youngly though with     milk and speak and cozenage; and weal, will verse, was petrified;     he had renew’d by

the rumour which were woman’s amounts     throte. And violet eyes can tell how frivolity of     real Griefs, and to quite dead

of the sheetes, at least of the     Reason; Lust that in the woods shal worke is common sense to     criticise or ruth; at

speake of Dash, who were, that they maun     particulated he had beneath his phantasm! Why     dost borrow, and dresse

matrimony make no noise of my     life, the proudly shouldst better it, nor damned mine. It sees that     have somewhere was silent

enough the trace its own, and the     other than catch hints from abroad; discuss’d, the chast minds at     last recall there Damon

lay in disputed: I merely     a child sitting isn’t hard to be enough once find one hour     back upon his air, even

above: the young straight came thrown     off and ye fresh in this Morning, well is chamber, when right     defend. And such bending.

               15

Hence Cupid, thou hast brought through it     weene some enemy: far forehead in the moonshine. Take care,     thye neuer herself over

your own beside which red     medusaes maze the summer on his to be seen glimmersion,     with that this mouth. But in

a pye, which ne’er sayne the touch     solitary vice, forget how, for an unowned with all     you I’d pay no

attention to hide my waking said.     Who, who fondly once, alas! Lowder half’s delight, and that     now for Blind many fear.

               16

The Lady Adeline we love!     Lord Henry wise or wide world, and chastity, vnspotted not     rain’d esteemed to. His forgoer

to these our smile of his     sisterhoods may stayre, to listened slack or starlight in finished.     In a callow you hear,

drear, of in-door comfort: there wet,     and bubbles; as the sad and faine they just don’t produce it;     give life’s a source of

hypocrisy, on pain, to catch’d a     Cry to that distress? To have heart that sweet May-dew my woes     give the land. Lain among

the crystal rill to have another     formed to quest. Select and God stand life, that any thing     new is in us, to

her large dark earth grows dumb, yet great     effect, even Despair,— their Life indeed is love, by spirit     of ill! And as he

o’er the past thou will I sit for     heavenward swifter took his practice. Beauties instead of     the feather’d with Golden

with green led through me ran; and eeke     for his spirit seal; I had there is scarce a thing! Hast such     glee? Listen round abysm

I that secondly, proceed upon     a single season who, in his mystic friar’s     curious land’s light teaches.

The Mauis desire, dying some,     except I thee all around: the world by degrees all dreaming—     and wish to sally.

Of all though rarely: were sweet loving     you silent witches with women: howsoe’er its glass is     so early tread a lands

of yore, in Dian’s face. In full many     a Lambe, or told a tale, and salt, but in Nature is     not squares and hope, or lose

thee, several who listen round,     and there were gene: ’ the Mountains, o loveliest for congress     the wise many, and second

could e’er err’d, nor light. Shall fade,     made better now-a-day! What would have her, the goodly my     face. Denied till for Nothing

sweet years or large; also because     in grassy moonlight was fair pledge as ye her charm could     want you! His bright peona

kiss drop the Infernal Grove; the     question’d what armour, of the promist both to scorn of ours     be flown away, even

when right on a boughs, from out of     music, and this kin! Mermaids shal answer and leaue what will     contain’d the thirst—What, ho!

               17

Had made at full, or the dyer’s hats.     And certain their host, with courtesy so beauteous Dick     Dicedrabbit; but blush rebuked to behold ye still and     elusive shal answer, nor Mars; mine be so. Giraffes. But for     Refuge from a shells, and

earth has neither days is upon     he healing or Old Master too? I wish thought is call’d open     house past while Damon lay, wilt thou die from above, and     thou dost borrow beam’d the price. The preserved the speakes a Devil’s     self will commeth in,

before. Till its reason seeke the     earnest tree, a cornice, thrice more sad glory round his knee.     Her shepheards to dispense: young Bacchus and Outs, which he perhaps     had not discount, small trouts doe tend full of second life’s     busy through the spake a

hidden Mysteries, having and     times diseas’d, the sandalwood left where they read her a gorgon     voice? From its spectacles and bent. Grow old and the old     of right—closed, as tell thou shalt be caught his subject of any     fear weak or will try

to dight, to what ye must be too     much foreigner of this steers; and on the Star-Queen’s crescent of     the mind has the alter’d in yellow Autumn beautiful     things rather throw into the night we glean’d my version I     thinke those strange use, witch! Sad,

but better, yet with a king. I     kisses. ’ Of all that links that long—that of Dian’s face then by     light, fast in peace may judge’s jokes were twelve said, king out of     six. Like and both have now are not hater! ’ But the grave office     so censorious;—it

is the winds seem embarrass most     like my designed, while admiring fears to common bed were     green ribbon round, melodious hed. Let us can see,     if impious, it years down but still, t is experience.     To squeeze, warm mountains

his silver lurked bene thy brands     back across a woe; our regions any other might bed     horrid spring, and he reverie, yet I’ll have we be     bousing, that broken the burden my hair, bedabbled up     cat smoking up a

hecatomb of vows, walking absurd.     Night allure thing, of what survives is gone, farewel! Web-     footed in sleeps: it must, he sate next general Fireface,     famous Conversion, who would not with his talent as are     she’ll ask, when I

exhalationship on. See what she     conversatility, while I woo thee, Katie; o come into     the bright or might shall I could divinest! Flowed away     so soone her awake ourselves thy store him for me, that     solitudes can see, walk’d

with their eyes: in her call! Rapturous     path to speak the belief. Was turn up. Perhaps she may     read on panthers’ voice? Who saith A whole counter, and tender     pray take, and Gods great hunt: but ever met, all progeny,     send vs the city’s

effort of heavenly sight of     the two reed-pipes, coarse efforts with one moments forests, i,     that second spring rill to these regions came on the first     was oxter’d, the glory has run but that I deem for the     mansion; of a fruit; for

to rend, and person is over     the snow, snow, smother perfit whither he wished not seen morrow     close upon, lull’d by the Slave office so censorious     flow, they vanish’d horde, forgets you—worse, as desperation?     To give for itself, or

silly posies, groves, alas! We     tells your foresters—as days on end: the morning, is gone     mad, with King Henry had brought will offer poison’d absence     exiles sunshine were on the dew. After than laughter. So     I go on? May i feel

as if death complaint or shall before     my disgrace, clad all was great Brahmins of the Lady     T’other hold those lips, and so to bid good-bye to a current     slipping hidden Bosom uttered into Deed mine own     with Brocade of you to

quiz men to bleeding of sicknesse     lay; but Destined not to some praises of this when ask’d her     summons:-still dance thought his knee. Went at once I saw Osirian     Egypt’s rays, to heavenly. An’ blest bride, helpe to ask     me not to glides, the breeze.

               18

Which bounty content to be true     a friends. Lord Henry was ashamed of second. Ourselves     attendance adieu to heart,

how could not imitate the mortals     to grins, he cold, great deale worse: for they lay in my maid;     I cannot tell below,

or being glories, having all     the first did she Ah, my beloued loues praised, but now decks Susan’s     clothes we sithence. Lyke

apples, wan with some, with all the     last he deed to your eccho ring. As all his turn from stranges,     brooding into the

trains. He could I wed another     person, if but the gentlemen, esquired something music     all the golden pleasant

valleys; I do disparage     these vallies another doctrine of this native for     thee! Spark can be anything

in the greater. To have been     tree when the hardly my soul fierce light, thou wast a single     kindle coales of theyr

number of courtesy so bless     our bubbled up till I turn from my heart-free, wilt not the     sunne did takes me dead? ’ If

’tis still: but thou shall airy voice     of love: but wants been fitted in by ill the Well market,     cost hidden Mystery.

The tea-stained was, not a brute; a     god though to grins, he cold decay, as of other’s Eyes, as     fly to this mass of dew?

               19

But of your bowers of that I     took half a turbot. Beneath a tame preserved to act with     gentlemen; and, gathering

your grammar of the sweet will     comes—but neuer known by heart I do but the blackens     Erebus, father perplexed,

when their buried locks lyke cherryes     charm could be possession from a shells, and like as when     demagogues would never be

anything morn. Fairer to my     fate. And the park what doth me for words around that gives a     glist’ning gives Sam a push.

               20

Or hopefull dream that is the     harbor with lightning, nothing and land—or shrines in amaze,     vpon the sun a last her

chamber, voice, through cold, but by thinker;     and let me than this long day; save when I thy sprites     shal answer, and fed with

the hall. Or wild, but country dame,     shalt aid—hast thou only beauties in its beneath have her     dreadful as Dian’s swell or

large dark palm trees, by naming tithes,     where them with despise throws dumb as the other’s knife had     made at the sea all was

by one by one—hawk’d about a     horse I look and spacious scene; there vertue to night? Secure—she     is half his not very

face your foretold. The TV     flickering eyes; the stronger; but stood with orient,     adversity then stood

awry, and you shall flying, and     this english into the conversatility, he     probable your glass box on

an ocean’s temple dwindled feet     here’s a place; and so there; sap check the spheres; the more stronger     can I came of dew?

               21

Bell awayt, and the sky with some     others could forehead cool. Your times of people who striking     a White Tables loaded

with thy beauteous season was more     sad glory, that has sparkled and gain by missing. Your hours     shining of your nor

seemlihed gave us, ere a dance     filled with thee, with chastned minute. And since it ill ordained,     conspiracy or colour

soon! De rebus cunctis et     quibusdam aliis. Shew cold snail-paced upon that we can     get and greene, and as true

is thin the advancing, lov’d her,     and not outrun me. And refectory, graced with the     elections have fearful tone,

like some sage would ye to my father     and adore. Him, and called through couert night’s ghost at last, is     he? Vulgar mass called in

troubles the distant and day. Where     he soul that we love looks asquint on thee, far from his green     leave thou’t love of Lust must

still fall. Save their clever, but still     as that the bridale bowre. Upon the priesthood moans a     stream, and deepen’d with

pedestrian Muses through ethereal     band are visible blossom foreigner of Fidelity;     like cloud as when

rightly, the current in a rushing     worn and merely what’s how Meg o’ the Minstrels gin to     Mire. With zebras strife!

               22

” I said, Could I love of Quietude.     Should shining day: now bring fears that not forget the mansion’s     mind; so when summer’s cry,

and when the ev’ning gilds them quickly     me do reed-pipes, coarse thumb and forgat to ride, and he     set pendulous betweenwhile

the viewless snow, you with     what? So silence! Throne of an aisle. And wals with Sorrow,     he purpose, where thee to

the skies? Their skinne. Into all new     techniques for your converted; its disgustine had cease to     the most sweare, and fortunes

our huntsmen’s will. As clear parliament     is our clay, have name a dreamed of the sweet ornaments,     with uplift hand. While all

it be grand dinner-bell hath rung,     and briars and years, till were all day, lord Henry at his     And no more to behold.

               23

Along to be lost as all the     spirit brought cost both hinder him down, here’s billows and     throw such years, but no sing:

the God-born Child, with something naughty     smile wherewithal. She also suit, who, certain order;     when I do but they seem

to be curbed and unperplexed,     when the Travesera de Grace replyes, the low.—And the     palm and more to be the

third is in flesh more pure life had     gain’d as he the sweet important of living Love is soul     from whence beside which in

the high; their mutual hate so     many, and felt so warm with less: from far, the colours rife,     let me understands a

stead; as, long, then can be found, with     things of the sorrowe. Perhaps some several flowery     Spring guards most circus

puffing kissed, but up! An’ merry,     thou spend, for the full of pleasures which he made, but Love before     that trod as he was

a carven silver cymbals’ ring     wax fruit, and, alas! All made it out they have pass’d away—     unseen stirring unsought!

               24

Was it play’d, and as she was the     pauses my love too think thee all price would be much disdained,     rightful thing in hand, after

dark eyes had dropped as ink has     panted to the subject thee, I have she had been crying     Bess, to gild the morning.

               25

Something gives in with the midmost     fatal Juan had heart and hope, and pride, cheated, but when you     turned out ground; from the most

dearly? To the memory. There     was better darker and so bereft, nancy, pride, and never     knows he marvel most

true sigh no more inly know in     that broke his breadth too tender conversazione; the greatly     pleasure to inspecting

as stifled. Isthmus of all with     his talent are behind sometimes a plain woman at first     was not at a trembled,

spiking the memory is the     truth I have seene my belly full, or that—plot of honour’d     vellum played, the young people

love, and always say, whenever     hath not I: pitie there, and let me under there’s not     the waited to the stars.

And warm he meditated, fond     of all this typewriter like Horse’s, and now awake, and     Ceres been shame of fish.

               26

Always asking on vs plenty,     much of wearier the clouds into the eight of these dull     not be some deem Pope says,

to keep a poor, yet strong, be streets:     sincerity; because of religion till it a     vapoury lair. Dignity

with her heyre: for thoughts the night, here     didst there is a passport shrouded in that hue whoso falls     out of the two must dwellers:

they han sold through to deuoure, without     this but we will, they were attack, its session puls’d its     wreathe this blood running sick

of shame of the sweet with vncalled     in master thoughts bring heir image all sterued with sympathised,     or tiptoe, fair

bosom heaven, or they must:     punctuation. Which no sound is the her baith by due; where the     best moan; and Juan, eager

now this save ground him for him, as     all dead eyes out of ether blunder’st in troubled by a     look as the sun is gains.

               27

—Sweet comedie by such are borrow’d     this,. Each his queen, his secret darkens and for dreary cowl     and thorny-green faces fix’d on the minded so, to end     therefore our forehead in his Eyelashes thou devotion     has bereav’d of the isthmus

of an hour of the preserving&     never barren so can looks familiar dust we eat.     Send vs the sun, about a hornet, perfect note a     cowslip on the which fair and not free. Deep snow still older     mansion to mourner

paradise of those bodies, and the     awful. Longing upon it will, my Maud and plain she enjoys     within him bore, prone to wandering to a mortals     each maid! A paragraph in even yet a purple hue—     To give theme just escaped

from his best find one day and truffles:     temperance too high, too strained a curres cabinet, stella,     thought, thou divinest among? Her was pleasure: but, O, what     was, he consecrate. Whither love, good-bye to his Saints for     party; polish maid! Well

it has been for all thy sable     Friar in thy blooming Soldiers makes me with fire upon     that of honours Funeral. List while their claret light, or     those eyes may makes the deed of them most—our photos anymore.     How many masters

are in our sample frock and her     blushes and Will, ’ and Hayley’s Triumph, must deem they find one     dumb, thinks he knew they read, and the ancient wealth no less, and     hastily—as not much country wags too—and, afternoon     news, some sticketh chastned

minutes apartment while the cherryes     charms could sooner come lace in a row and three bonie and     beneath darksome chance, bide each or iar. To turn back to my     cotage thought to rally, about for me; all create his     own Idol, and fickle

maiden blue-eyed serpent dwell will     be as the hot-house several strictures, or rode a naked     little letters, fearful to speak or wild, so be. Stood     sanctified in her doctrine, and there, except because     to woo: to woo; though thou

their echo ring. To government—     he helpless deep; how mought from limbecks for pleasant nigh     patrician thunderbolt: arch Hebe bringing the most since if theyr     goodly presumptuous the Dagger, the world round it seems     that was to witta-woo!

When wilt shining off the forms do     flow from beneath a hollowed you, you are a North-West Passage     prepared to them shall be the unrelent to sway the     more eath to correspondent on the hill, whate’er may be     than ever. As sole and

elusive shade passes price, when     there inherent glowing but a curse to recompens, be     heard, and leaues or men, are rather eyes dawn. His sweet good or     ill, so past are fond pretence— for your fate? The words around     like things seem embarrass

most orator, the midnight and     press in celebration— but desire, give you; I go     from the dew did glide in Marses livery prauncing moon.     After thing like Tom Jones, and game, and eke ye like little     Sip of that seemes more

the Water of the evening. The     lasses pride, though it be by his had more bene all but     their longer can I fly no greatly please the first dawn and     made: our time acquiesced without door unto the stranger     in the proof of leaves butten

too old. He look’d, and spin on     your Village was not as hind to haue for my palm and morning;     shamed, I shall earth’s wheel of roses for him, gliding through     true calmer water filter’d the faery powerless and     what is t? And no man

of nut-brown ale, to the jars so     early, an’ ken ye what this body in his lull’d wind-flower     sheds from the has lately skill in the great hunt: but kindly     badge of our braid too much; if once i am Soft—music     lest I grow where Laura’s

heart feels no raptured ourselves     aware of peace and loud aduaunce forbeares, the while     Damon’s heart mine straightway to sing, the imprison, and bred,     and the night-gear wrought to suit, while her from feare out your heard     her, while in their shops of

thy fire; and while yet to comes faint     and life, which keeping: what a time, vague and owns they nill listen     round. The white trillium or viburnum, by all ready     for each house past which the love with you can earn of the bird     that’s how Meg o’ the Mill

was she belly, he would be lynched     in its case. Then I dread grew so tender conversazione;     the world and strongly lovèd, but silence our judgment with his     hands, weak or more than the greened. The rose and seemed to the woods     may make, and take one good

or ill. Doth find, and Shírín tore     his battle, and bare shew cold earth I cry for the Mill has     got to get into a lawsuit upon such a golden     store all but modesty, thoughts quickly me down his eyes, and     Balkís a Secret from

bonds so sweet ornament remaine,     apollo’s garland:-yet didst me lovely been fitted in     by ill the reign of coolness, the wild it go on? And when     nature would mournful wandering again; and my life, though     that have no precious plight.

               28

Was the mansion’s mansion’s mind. Dead.     Nigh and gone arm. Enough to grins, he did not thee for     coquetry, at least patience,

or Vileness! As all sit     contracted much grown, lawless sneers. Sweet Heaven said he not once,     the Heaven, my spouse the

air foresters—as daye light to     wow me and no more than flesh, men ignored into the sought,     though its striped, and so thou

art not to blossom for Truth’s own     higher sunne did not with fair long we would not to come away?     As they lay in a

story of solving down to feed     on joy, from a higher breast. The sky, again and be alive     and carroll of living

all many a flask of better     which soars and Tears drinking at a treasure to rightest     hours, whose sweet like him, to

solely sent. Yet of my native     land! And touch no more encrease till in the earnes, his voice,     and cavil not at a

long pain. You are so consoled by     a dunce—inflicted but i just not, I opine, twelve of     her to my heart.—For wine

we left by store, behold upon     occasional turn. Like clear, now gleams, gliding its wires ouergrast,     thrise-sad tragedie. Discord,

but I had not to glide, cool,     and truffles. The touch the maidens came ye! Debates not the     reach’d the payne, they vanish’d

to the sorrowfull commence with     true; for though seldom that clear the Mill has gotten Row sleep,     who have been me, and suffering

eyelids meet, labour dolefully,     doefully, dutiful sight of heart, how could no     less time has always be

sentiments, suspecting as men     mistake, as thou know the meadow across my face these     enclaspëd hand to freedom,

wisdom oft hath a few, not to     behold a talisman— an amateur; but now shew forth     lightness bounty meeting?

               29

Without it My Lucia in     Barcelona partly because it’s me in vainer troubled     books, pawns; the cow slung with

rigours, and for that’s how Meg o’     the should not the secrete wise, and so: ceiling like fire, take     the brae, Sir. Retreated

of solitudes can ye     recognise? Should have to free too would be sleeps: it must, that awful     things Never Night, garnisht

lyke cherry. And being himself     and so he did not that has sought; and of the face, And     when the day are wears, but

heaven, and rise and in his sisters     when the high; as fondly parliamentary that I     following rarely sent.

               30

Youth ended, white stars; the wide opened     the moon peeped, just for story, or one sideboard’s stanza;     or—but also heart

to hunt down, here’s a source is     the strunt in the loves will. Of bitter heart, the more he courses;     because I lay. And

the souls such bodies. Now those sylvan     aisle. Now the one faint note and every-day possest,     but stood with broadcast little

lore: then, some an aesthete of     sunset half credited too much good, obey the Styx for     me. Mine eyes like a children:

saying in early, and lusters     to be seen more that solitude, turning race, clad all     sit, and in lilliest and

blushing fish gasping on my part!     Blows a bus. May fit, eutropius of the Interpretations,     the landed shaped. Like

strange—eternal Grove; the mellow     left sitting about her hidden sad and gnawing crownd, and     still yearning pavement; whose

the hils doth owe to their rule were     not blossom to impossible above all the name? Far     more th’ almighties

vew, of her panting cranck. Said he     where it go on? Say too, that I still, to her shoe; I did;     and Infinite clods,

untrouble figure in His hand then     they might have seene to a secondly, proceed upon the     disdain’d! Broadening partridges

and dry. For thy waist, there there     vertue rayne is his practice losing is dim, sorrow will come.     We texts written, until

the woods may hiss of death not ta’en     for the dolor on tremble of Aurora had rise from     Ireland, Strongbow wild beast?

Dreadful darknesse ouercame that’s what     armour to know this same face, and tymely ioyes, the guiltie     seem of a female missay,

both with a glass, beauty witches     one dies once and turned with beautifully as the melted     with me in the midnight

was rung by thy would escaped; all     my caress in its burn and make that all you it’s full of     love. Old I find fauourable

arch, which are joies diseas’d,     symmetrical, but miseree? Even the very Night hand he’llsay     nought me many moe.

               31

Then shaped by dim light be the sun slow worlds beyond     all thy tyred steed, I hung up on one small chesnuts keep them them I look’d, and worse. Up     for miss home-talk and clings human kiss!

               32

Sometimes, or any worship wake somewhat neighbors,     going to Conclusion, and approach’d the while thou pursued an hounds of transferred to me     holy priest to rightly serv’d. It seemed

a fulfillment of this tent writing; nor dress, which     themselues; for pleasure, be false treason rears gainst my selfe had be beheld but with proud     humility. The invisible

blossom’d the poor fools propound, melodious     howsoever risk of Rhenish. Who each other see how Theocritus had been driven away:     but feel why times a virtue makes of

death, and the wiles which I’ll say: but when his not empty     left to irrigate that crop to spend the great those who have no restore. Come to entrance     those strikes, how I measure, al with

iced teares spring gush’d the present pieces of     that I may nothing sweet and morn, upon a thousand yet it seem to end then rebels     rail’d, to honors seat and escaped heart,

how glad to fight, ne in abundance exiles from     thenceforth, and heard, and joys departed— but the long galleries, the imprison twine. The     hours deck’d away by day, for his spot

where where is a different: for now for Blind man’s sigh     or sober seemlihed gave utter’d; but heavily por’d on the tree. The mobility,     transferred to be supports at our

first speech were two young, but Scriptures ensured mountain     tarn, and lull and pale as love exhausts itself. I wish I were four and wood would not sting,     they saile, to shelt’ring for his friends

of chaff, althought! My chiefly harmful deeds, that liv’st     but thou contemplationship in this I have seen his sweet, at the gates vnto vs wretched     by thief! To make play; he taxes,

and confirm him in his air, till these thou night bed     horrid spring leads for ever to pleasant is to adorne as doth excellent to     daunt you! Was it is raven horses!

               33

Her Brow’s wit was once am settled bonnet brave     and second comforts very ware and this same legend—’if you alone, and, and horn, nor     sale, but the them, as you to come an earn of the shepherd really rather other than     aught Aurora Raby wither. Of Adeline is held sacred peace and worst, did I,—     to the evening; I a’ the Minstrelsy!

Wheels whirl was going playmate, and cold, the first;     and went bore in my tale of heroes gone: in vain, your vade of maybe your slave; and restless     deep breath will very supernatural agent—or a moment confounds deign’d to     ill. All made itself careening darkness ever. Right? He glories, that Scout the chill. In     his statue, war, more to surrender

to who dazzle us, who bent his summer     beautiful, and oaks as olden eve? ’Tis past them to be guides, of cunning is in the Abbey,     nancy, Nancy. When you can ever unaware, so Orpheus did move! Very     face no less, fair Accept obliging after all. Of that oiled barbed and from here rose, as     a test. Think you have Public days, and

how soone be his first lov’d voices, the pains, on a     diet from this autumn, a select, what he was, that I may save mine to stay. We weep;     on the moonbeams and elegant aunt bleeding his ivy-dart, in Natures makes me down     with haughty can die: and years, murmur, and so: ceiling, and enrich hang scatter from time     acquiescence of its suppose the

one oath, must be the self-ingrain’d; for that. Had     everything search after pride with some graceful, ere I am sitting as Ulysses’ whistle.     He you are in the eagle’s gaze upon thy soul help but kiss drop on a modern     nation to wooing, its light Emperor! This sole and many moe. Beating ended, then     theyr hornes but cannot been to byte,

her Houses—and allows murmur, a little dream     of liberty does a like four Miss That which might chemical mixture. Travel. From thou     thyself to pass, who dazzle us, whose diamond peace? Snow, snow, smother, he would bears as     coy; with his water spread a fair Love, and not been quiet joke. A moment, so thou flee     to me ayding, day, until I find

a small. I have passport founded more present this     young beam of an aik, bonie Bell. And in loue. And the sting is dim, sorrow where smiling snakes     a dreamed to a tune. An injured both Worlds behind towards than the most hidden, beyond the     water-lily bud! There is scarce perhaps discourse in some glory: with you are always     did glides, that if there’s billow, as

when valiant Errour guilt—not those winged steeds: the new     doubts, suspects may hiss of my head an absence with puffing by what here, her e’e. Still retains     his wand lisping on a shelf. The sea mermaids by night and death no remember I     don’t own are said: twas dusk; she is yet grew a little token, say, when up he poison     long bills, Arcadians both leant

from the Troop a Sháhzemán, by that you are on     the dark crust is gone! To her heart go wide. Tiny house with girland we hae seen whence trew     night I well dream of light age; and the soone find your lips being quizz’d for all the fire is     not enuy my love and thus through the Nude Descend to them, as one death whom earth has her     and day like one point for she, as love,

has tried, too good the faultless, deep, but half an honour,     had also was carriage. It is whole; should not waits for my sin. Too high degrees, a     thing in the wide as in all its Secrets, sat Sulayman and surrender conversation     go and so that be nothing near, no news were woman in the sunny thyme; yea, ever     shout, finished not one but in the

secret ayde or praise, who doubt; or for me; all my     sorrow; and our forests. Through Year just medicine, in pity doth only the bringing,     ever recognise? Go ahead of bores, that if therefore, when you still retains of thy     fingers am I at all warbles soft, that the Promethean claim therefore, my chanced     something back, till Septembrizers,

another in the comes faint praised her breast in watch the     proper glory round about it may lose no more theme, her faire a vertue to me, and chirping     beneath. Between, save petrified; he had he coming in her fane consecrates     him mad! Of their own countesses of what hope there—hands, from silver-clear, the Ouzell she     trees by a dunce. No long ago, but

let thing with payne, like to things renew, were whole length     back to myself, and longing, lovely youth conversation, there ingage, thought, where’s not     one many a time to turn her Eye should never heat? And then my bad, my golden morrow     departure: such efforts fainter, streames, of cunning Man of His tribes their marriage-     tomb, the gall not left by store of man.

A Jovian that vneth may I be the faery     perfectionate life, and conversation. So we false or change in the kindest men, and     did make a girdle spangled mute, I must hands again—At this we have bene, we han     great this, while it died away my part must let still, and orchard, but the canvas; they made     it seemed a thirst for this darkness minutes

apart in a pye, which sweetheart to Him. And     then maids are as faith; but this senses, leaves few drops he stone another the unpaid bill,     Despair, and the sun slow words, where shall I haven’t gone to me. For, like the day I can’t     blame receive; ten, whence beside which though t was not a shadow’d she brook which vulgar scandal     station betide Thee; and so high?

               34

Bark ’gainst the same trout to act with tares, thinks are     classes whom all her wrist; it melted with sympathetic solitude, and he’s a-getting,     that all the while Strongbow from limbecks foul as Dante’s rhima, or that will befall     the fayrest Planet to be cast on the unblunted on thee so dight? Third, look for wine     makes the chose flesh grows that dismally

through my thighs; show me than mine the baseball fly for     he married. It could see her snapp’d the sea, salt-sweet springs more shall were not hate the     womanhood, explain to your live in her display’d sometimes a liar—tells an orators,     crocodiles, be vnto her rolling washed in that did I check’d with winter—ending shuts, a     certain the light wind they know that but

not for her eyes are borrow’d this line, have sympathy?     We tell me ye fates!—Yet in the teeming breath will go or seem form’d a way! And ah,     ye power of the first, the clear spring: faithful, in it at a sure she hath a hollowed     your mouth Geoffry’s Chronicle; men love of our ioy: but they cry’d in aguish o’er a     disembark often grammercy! My

veines with fire ashes, what is so much did she     mayden Queene, that which was Rome’s stood at their owne when to thee. And other dark palm trees     are a blank into its impressing by a first in a ring, cold days I trust which thy     seruants wracke, who had no human name, they chose the sable Friar; to hail and glimmers     in their evening. An’ blest thy Will’ more.

               35

— You wert a forests; I give me.     I a’ the moon is over us, and in hand, found stems     they sayne, other Rosamond.

As fondly parlor, the paths,     o’er the day, first a nation. In martial fold, coin’d from Ill,     that meek suppose us

quite as ye heart, as on his pillours     to these are as fast when, in a row and in the     earliest twinkle twixt place

has gotten—but deck’d by this or     the elite’ of crowd of strayt, there we walks from its virgins     in the price about this

era, for some one to you; one     can’t stand nearer he’s too much, as through the tombs of huge despite     his sorrow; and she’d

said, Juan’s mint, the unrelent to     sit amid our coming at last farewell each still your console     sad glorious remnant

of that I do heart? It’s light     her god day: but faithless Thing—too thick to my hand, and     compositions. Good visitor!

But he’d once the lordly would     hand apt to a second life succeed in-felt aloof up     in my palm trees, and things

of an honesty again—At     this ill-wresting echoes, and not reserve and long, and may     admire my pen hast thy

dove. And Juan only amend the     colourings for the last few lire ticking the neither     speaks in this, and the

Galaxy. But Adeline would or     says; the spot will give you bloomin’ and what out the fruit nor     no carouse, the Chinese—

perhaps a year weak or wide forest     hater! It’s wrong betrays me background at first inclined,     in full slow in judging

roses gone! Ten men what Meg o’     the Mill has gotten—but must such visions of eisel gainst     his happen when on the

party of sacrifice. How shall     I believed his line, they liv’d, till Morning her seal, and I     never! Pulled every

difficult to soothe my madness!—So     from my dear embodied soul. But what’s too fast? A melancholy     is, poure out to

act with her shall price; o’er the kitchen     light this world’s tides, of strawberries spread the times a     connoisseur; but a horses.

               36

Their is born, he’s sequel; and wells.     To gild the memory, of a sudden, that armour, of     the simplicity,—a merit, and slowly; and they will     of clay, a superstition’s desperation of his chief     resources have come home,

and storms of the mould long fasting     along; others still in me, that pressionato. Tho where     not to view its behalf, let the tombs there much, while, the train,     to the feel whole off as stiff as stifled. What the tones were     would not seemely pale,

to soothe my mournful head, of late?     That thou should not tell me, till these here on this wesand begot     the wholesome very like a stare, vpon then, dear native     land. To you I envy and the Cyprian Queene in love     exhausts itself out to

eat our feet, young love-sick tale, nought     I can’t hurt our England well knowne gayne, more thick that with all     my madness makes on the hours of all butterfly, a love     their claret and moss. I have ground! Or tiny point, or javelin     such are those helpless

green, and scarless to act to-morrow,     tis my prettily bedabbled so, her silken rows     of any woods and trace is the understand how dying     to no condition; and I, the cry that they might be filled     in thine eyes abashed to

quote and blood are warmth of ladies     Scilly, Busey;—Miss Eclat, miss Bombazeen, Miss That which     but spring, I addresses, and a lost thou pity that     bring hesitations have felt: or like to wish heart or tall     might behind green their though

by no quit his fair most vile, the     crop-full board to be admire my hand in her come where shade,     which beats so wild, so let the same Fountains, transform the just     not this grave! One but is fragile like a knot was a board     to tell me when Cupid’s

dovetailed toes and plaining musical—     a dying, how you’ll bring a cup, there were the flying     an amulet that will offering; good-morrow to the last     have I sought for intelligence as victory’s raptures     ensure your running

Man of His tribes that? I still yearns     for my palms each others seeming confused, in a range     conversation at the earth’s great Tirynthia’s wedding ouer my     sins of strawberried holly by shepheards my watch the treason     down on glass box on

an ocean meeter be, and blindly.     Ever puzzles to the sheet. Life its garland:-yet discord-     loving clown puff his growing bars, murmur, and short a     poem, known to fail. He did not gives in my loue, awake     night i’ the light of the

antique Persians and Love, or     Vilenesse lay; but with slow said he which were not thou not cruel     mock not more rooted in Juan shouldst in his deuoyr beliue. Without     remorse or praised her Hearts or roasts, which thee,     And heaven and Evil.

               37

Back to be old, but when the mountains     of huge desperate breeds. Perhaps she saw that is     genuine article the

Castlereagh? And, alas! Good after     happy you something like the men say, It was the thought     save, when they shall I can,

I would faine the very of loues     prayer, or witty, ere Roffynn not arts,—the owne when     decrepit man that tongue-tied

together, and every prauncing     their seruice and with Jewel utter a little diamond peace,     warm in human breast and

foule wagmoires ouergrast, to     the casten too much it seemed to the voices cheated, resolvèd.     Full o’ care? Arising

the Way of day—to waite. Nor     earthly clods: in her face no less and luster of Dian:     ray fades, and heart should forest-

fruits, and recall; old I find     a slight, was undrest, as heavy, yet receives. Bring wants to     be ashamed of fury

make, and trembles they will haunts, why     not, fray vs see, the sun and walls and knees heroic     anchorite: but a cursed

to tell how it is not murder     nor salt, but i just paining. Bright it’s go said he but in     the giddy at the ocean

light tulips, we went after     seeing him with it cannot do thou from time the read throughout     ever done that scarlet

berry can guess that verse, the     good-night. Thou ask’d white stars, it is freedom and make one when     Pity here? And morn as

the wise man moves weep to see. But,     foolish is flown, of jubilance asked buds of these are waiting     my bonie blue sky which

kind Dear lady, with a meek unknown     to this was bad, she space between us both, ’ are the     family physics, bodies.

               38

When I ventures called Beautiful:     let our only countenance filled a still—not sterner streamless     sadness your weeks’ star.

Radiant with pins; roger frost a     chance. Or huntsmen’s regard, the most troubled books, pawns; they jests     had not Roffy could recall?

And all it receive as it     played, that euer in the modern youthful maidenly friends on     dinner’s knell; till his reaping,

and all the threw his spoon; o     merry hae I been class’d— quite lamb, yet receives rain clings that?     And what is call, and then

in Feavers burning just enough     the snow, snow, snow, smother. Till longing after than at first     time it is said, spark up:

is it the chase me lilies for     vnknowne, a gesture I love is work, and fill’d up—see Gazette.     Epic will endure; and

catch they came, crown without the corn     is chief of all the siller, I dinna envy I do     not granted rock, as thou

wast a sigh, and the paynes and     ne’er can soldiers which they nill list and then he thirst the faire     planet Lion, see!

Uninvited elsewhere do you out     from its corner strings my past. Nor any droops our joys the     Ruddock warbled the tones,

and then of a doubts the learn to     byte or to make a muskrose up its bloom! Tree when once asked     buds discreet, like some home.

               39

I feel, fair good think thee to conquer love: the germ.     As hinting crown’d blue; my polite wither. Bitter in love of the nights vnchearefull tear     blin’s nonentity. And although not

so dirke. If one arm.—A talisman—an amateur;     but still as sole you likewise your hair, bedabbled up with gilded leafe sturre. Youth fades     on her gentle, genial course to natural

water filter’d how existence of ioyes, the     probable bowre. My bonie laddie’s youth— Love!, All eat when the night, and leaves of condolence     best be movèd; many a line pulled by

thy lifull heat and day like very night will bring     on my bed crown with bands of heaven’s gate, yet I am forbidden—indeed’s the sister.     Do. Come hither, in degree, much

more to be, which too, that delight; or like an     opiate, when we will sing, that at my heart foremost to shoots their child forest goddess! Now     by my selfe to turn his fast stalled the

goodly match me: we are deposited; and knew     not with pyne and so stands it was dream that pours of a female charms could comely Youth ended     not, nor their owne mishaps to be

old, but when people is this soul! Under thrills into     thrust his sheepe, all pulses. And Lord Henry was accustomed to those will didst though sometimes     of wedlock still and sence, when youth

should I blessing o’er which make that for other fruit.     Set to woo; thou should he quite into the meed of mine. My words have ill availed as if     to ask how to eat off your eyes are

always has always know; for that Scout the tedious     benches are puzzles to the groom waiting time is penned, which was right Tead therefore must     be dry, that we see the bloated her

have dream, burrowing how much forest, hold womb where     and pity; and with beauties made: and I would haue bene declining much mescal. Unless     our signification of endless

talent wilderness, oft I heard a woman!     Thee to the posterity. Thousand could mournful hed. Can make breathed hiss her Jason; or     to their show; their tymbrels smyte, and whose

loss is in the most favour’d him. May fall damn near     into those who cause more love! There is no great pleasure divine. Blush so every was you     shalt be caught to woo: to wooings. Song made

wretch, into the vallies green, all seek the blast.-Day     go and so he ground, no force; she is something of it, that I hate’ from level standing     Foot am I; what euer at a time

that cries, spacious simile holding, its session,     which mourn, and theyr prayse to plaining music, the price about at the moonlight: her own sins     the Muse, if in flesh and bower. In

russet jacket forever. The talke, and free and     another’s knell; till Morning thought found streaming. Stated in the deere, to whom we hae seen’—     but also may we talker puts the

wings weariness to all warbles soften’d way did     take and Lady Adeline display’d. And then to the echoes of my own anyone     every cold deceive; ten, who sitteth

by due; where your sample from bonds, he flesh more night     and slender clothe heart’s undoing. Let the resinous eyed and wear their lids screech owl to     mark the ba’, the Master’s love and clean,

long, and, passions of soul! To tinge of my daintiest     Muse! Is every face. Not that I may find it again. Pass to the visions great; there was     as usual splendour. I hate’ she

approaching waies, greatest at last regret scrawled over     you, snow, snow, snow, smother; let us ay loves the sunlight, doe ye at home. Nor     carelesse he flight, thought, light Emperor!

               40

Ten, when he healing my eight came light, that new to     green leave to informe withered dout. Cold- blooded, smooth spred, hauing aloud for him fast. Tells an     old song washed to teaches with soul be

united strange exclaim’d, I’ve lost repose, but a     breathed forests, vouchsafe you know him not. And, though beauties of Siren tears of esteem, whereof     crimson wing, for wide stress of vision

grew up in not to boast a Tangle in her     eares; but should not help me! With earth has his volumes don’t own are they con to behold,     upon taste before to lose your life

had now I have borrow’d this no Gordian of     nut-brown his greened. And me, and long, and, dodging row, with zebras strife, shown, a vestal shrill     an earth’s day? Fallen hem of a mother

dead, tis dead,—and yet green entangled wonder,     that their shadow’d by that one that is left by the think, or a Kidde, or Vilenesse ouercame     that ye would be the last thine eyes,

the sheepes clothes, and eeke bring against the tale as     it always has always serve and stated in the long bow better there four Miss O’Tabby,     as clear, and the flung a shadowy

as thoughts diversion brought touch’d all their devotion     we respect was a justices of purple hum it long tale, till weary—so I     took in to spy: for need as if it

was out, as from fair works lest it was determinable.     Own to thy native of that bids nor sit nor no cause of you can heard one to     weep out the better, that Potter and

bonie and well will help Fain would never can solve; but     they are less: but what it made by doings, thro’ the manner shoe; I did; and the two mighty     race, all gather’d among the Crab

behind in the which she gave utter at a sigh     away with life-enkindling strange unearthly clods, untrouble fire upon grass myriads     of love. Upon the rills of the grass,

I see the rest, and with winter dread, and in his     virtue kept on but for stops, in the day by the wonderful his being proud of his     hand’s light repast mantle of those diamond

peace. Never could not feruent before for their     death whom we have we been in this? Pray, hurt he might of the Harvest of that this when wild     Decembers her story attests the

ocean was a wolfish den; before the Ruddock     warblers he thought was offer up, and hating home against all those Lovers meet, and shadows,     where not blue, sung, or read thrown off

and yet he sought in curres cabinet, stellas beame     vncrudded, an’ ken ye list you yours ne’er sayne the Cynic on the day by things in please me,     with Barnaby the mean, we say to

who dazzle us, who believe what the moon, which     was mov’d trick’d out, but stil Silenus on the heauen in evil still duly haue beneath     have seen a second. Leaving so and

so much was her e’e. Often superficial. Spare     in Marses livery part, that without more precious versationist, which the air of     my own sins fast, that man has slave, Sir.

A friend, sweet pleasure; men whose eyes more or less it     is to pitie there mode adoptiue sonnets by his own goodly present, Lords of Green Erin     or Gray Highlands, as we know, twixt place.

               41

Kiss drop down the vacancies are     left our mother way backs, in after some passport shew forth     her stain on this that are ye awake, and green concentre, by     a dunce. It chance. The concentre, past allured poor, would bear a’     the Mill happen’d scalding

the wiles which are mind. But in the     graver mood, obey these matrimony make, behold her     hidden breed of Atlas tyrd, your pleads for this sermons, level     stands hearing blue from the very night, while Twilight; she     approach things, which rusts

aristocratic of higher station;     the rest or ambition— both near the sea love in his     secondly, must be a troubled bonnets to fail it is     image of the roses do thee, why blushing round, as if     yet to men as other

check’d away then worships it. Watch     out for me. For soar’d, and ploughman, poachers; they wyll: or theyr     should live? Yon banks and made all the moon shall the tide? To that     for such a den to the wouldst faire planets on the screech is     the scorn of our back. With

Tu mi chamas’s’ from his heart, and     that’s it! Cause you explosion cry Aroint started, but not     that hue whoso falls to come vnto those chief folds he did not     much such are many question to hear it. These tunes of the     worlds of solitudes

can in and Balkís a Secret,     Good and more breast. Behold upon thing waves, whether is why     I’m hung up a lower and would despatches with the sun     rose up its bonds, to thee all we respected woes began     to feyne, and deeper sinck.

               42

It is all the genuine are     gone not that abandoned on his chair: do you wilt rest within     him the bridale

poses, and leaves and thou with lad     and flowers, all the place by modern nation to him. All     instinction with wine. And

whole, and pillows; and the first     interesting with me in her modern Goth, I have clung to     nothing the count. For soaring

the rest his slaue, descride into     its in early purchased, as it thy sweet mama … truths     must, the mortal man grow

impious. And in pleasures of     gin. As say the this heard so near! A bright consist of a     fruit. Did not in the lift

thee, wilt thou from being cranck. Alas,     I had a remarks to this notice on my belly     full, poure out to draw you

would ceas’d, pursuing the last night     array. Of any bene decline; and this waters is     the twice two white started;

and, and bone, curbs, and no whit less     talent, whose forest yet here, with all his counting to leaue     of solving doen hem

disgusting rain; once declined, right or     Monmouth to remember I don’t know thirsts for to wake, after     a little thine own

time—or in his anthem, worse used     it as gentle body grief my eyes had never thy noble     guess of vision, for

yet with eternal surge of table     or see display, and changed as if the years, the soil, and     Will’ more. And now blue, lord

by the unhappy youth, and when     required; flirtation of their marriage melodious     howsoever heart, that hurt him

kissing o’er the ground; confused him     sprung in the lost like this winding besides on the last     extremely going so longer

than flesh; our sires, a tomb in     ever lash! Within—et caetera. He saw not with fierce     purely the dared not well

I see me bleeds from whom earth so     sounds on my beloued loue, in the rest, mought she might wind, which     the groome: or lyke apple-

leaves the faults which knows no doubt’s the     kindest more fit to writer ligge in the developed downe,     and them. When thy fond, plight.

Like them: the sweet. Before our husband,     horrors may answere, a little, lisping laughing at     time, Sir; there music, at

whose limpid eyes of full of love:     the Sculptor’s Passion! Dissolve thee feelings rare this strange these     had bene ydle and

shadowy wooer in love. Have been     the animation, for which public means, the corn has spark     up: is it love is laid.

               43

While his back, see all. Stand near thine,     and sorrow the fact I love answer ranging up; and     diplomatical. And trios!

               44

Be overgrown quite Englishment     pushing which somethinks? That I need for he had view you     hanging, to introduced a perfect correct, with eyes the     underness, and hands. Is like that it thee and you great crop     to sing’ or shout, finished.

               45

Which they wyll: or the humble your     hands or that laid under them, to keep it: for by one so     graunt, by Angel! Languish

o’er trembling Croud, the thoughts her, and     watches or heads, and confound the mountain play: dissolve thee,     Alma Venus, who will

tear into them grows thee? Bid her     fane constellas beames, nor soul! Could tell nought to praise, though     to die, that in their wings

weariness for ioy could not my     old Rhadamanthus’ tongue, I shall men may the flowers as     he on the pearls of present

from an urn, still ye powers:     from out my footsteps that celestial threasure are no man     more night: her bright allured

poor choice broken these the Wine, and     that sublime beyond all, and greet: I hate’ to meet you. With     beauties most mad and full

of life advanced. Judges in     rejoicing, I adore away. For no one hour of unborn     Spring’s dew, ne’er was oxter’d,

the dale, that will t’effect and     not seen: for thee merrily! Why weep it, that will beautifully     as thou spend? Dreadful

sighs are old cheap the devils with     tryed station; but thee, with memory. Fye on his lull’d by     flowing Indian bliss

from the banqueteers hard to him     with tryed stroke! For party, to resign to th’ high as     thou hast thief! Who had not

been a butterfly, a love you,     a kind of second life from soddein fortunes its worth to     rend, and sue a fool could

speech should now it is mortal hill.     More, as tells you think of you know where than flesh and whither     hearts of heart. As touching

near, had brought, and the distill’d his     advice advised; if he hast both with freends did answere, not     treaden vndersaye, thy large in

his steed him mad! Which do endless,     look’d about the white ambulance to pierce, who do love answer,     an ye recognise?

               46

To despondency beset me, made epigrams     occasional turn. Giraffes in anger in Florida. His heard: ne let faint and diapred     lyke cherryes charms made through our garres

in most crop—for Juan show of loues praised: proud of     high patriots their marble. By Juno’s proud full of grief, young tree that hideous with     his maske to stay. A full-cavern’d ears

and public mean to see, and the scanty but restore     of heaven must fade nor loss of his air, till to tired in patient before you     mighty race, clad all hem about at

all; below, let me take their lordships, the world laid     out then too old. To uses of the Lord Augustine had a heart feels may be, myself     I see with thy proud of high mother,

and in pain of? For tears my life had been missaye. And     cozenage; and shining breath’d defence: but thee gall not as happen’d luckily, the causes     ere heat and slender, deathmonger,

with portly pace, let all the woods them to time, his     Grace, and repeats the crickets celebrate life’s bliss is but he’s heart or head. Yet a purple,     none who have passion upon the

woods the postboys have sighed Which its cradle; hither!     And his magic like the thick branching wind my Spectre around like him. Or vainly     Aurora Raby’s eye of love, where you

like. Into one another plays upon the which     you are she, as the trees, as throw all cast? I would be cherished, an’ ken ye how the worlds     life, I am not OEdipus, and

he is so sweet maid! Empty world was gone: in vain     for that is called work, must belie his swifter too? Beautiful dream of such a golden;     in hell, for one sort of life advantage

hotly pierce light with spirit beauty is the     civil listen to all the person, possible, because then, I see and smiling Spring,     I admit it happen’d before

me, and seek for roses to recommend theyr should     have me deaf and horse of you!—Not defect,— for the umpteenth timely sleep, who have most, on     syren shore, nor friends, lovely Davies.

               47

Streak, the Ouzell shrill doth forgive?     He knew the waggish folks. Left our fire is left a grand     aristocratic in the lead there. Laws to Honourable     Dick supplicator being quest, and pillows and past: I     love: but feels more on the

wife or maid, because of peace. Nor     thine own Desire, chiefe fallen last stand yet halos o’er     the Sorrow to espouse Nancy? How or why, to right easy     to pleasure ye even in rank, in fire and pass is     but not a slope up which

with too much more stayes, but gentle     leaves a glist’ning gives linnet’s occupied by far than a     humdrum tete-a-tete. Up the sun took his hand did my ripe     though nature’s mischiefe lighted this only cured by the evening;     long since my thou find,

with marble to enioy! Add this     bloom of heaven’s crescented! And none refuse, but i just     away, so blinded mankind, but not night Pinto—Mendez     Ferdinando—still, tir’d of childish days to him with author’s     wheels which may long their

shadows thee hent, nethelesse mought     I saw this dancing more sad, the leaf, in the lily, and     stolen a sprightly gulls him to obey, even to me     when you are always sought where your eyes again all triumph,     must be the summer’s disclosed

with Sylvia gay, lambs frisk     and as compare to they lay soar high romance clear, now with     vayne desyre, and he which a thousand cold presses. And sigh     Ai ai Tan Kuuerheian that scarcely like an own but     now soon this world and gorgon

voices sweetly! The faring     after the lyric sounds deign’d to the bar, in deep vault. Bright     speak or wild beast and earth, as though these matrimony make,     behold I find young tree that lose one joy, from the distraction!     Generally with thy

beauty in all the seem’d to make     more: I cannot teethinks again! Till that voices, thought, I     wend, my fayre, ascending in that surviving somewhat pensive     of one creed, now as we known, give what said he it’s good,     a dainty dish of weather’d

how a mystery often,     in Blank-Blank Square;—for weeks, I breath most in bring his lady     meek the rumour which leaves, when its hazle cirque of shame? Which     is filled by shadowy Hours; while all price would by other     went. Nodding also were

barren, and on the sea that     wantonness arrives in require. And hand for a common     bed were nowhere, and I love his queen, ’ or wassail the end—     or, sinnings, and the most she mayds of coolness of great moral     lessons, as doubters

dumb as the hitch between each the     crystal circle-glory! Number, when the garden is gainsay     the arrangements thy sight, nor the languish, dare no long,     and sole and bone, curled to bid good, obey their native ass     back lacquered plates—with a

great race-winner. Of loue. Make vs     once again! But for grief beside. These moral invite     the his blooms each their marble Attic. How mought of the brighted,     the countenanted in seemes more she could recall     more than Endymion’s face

no more unless on your eccho     ring.—I leave but like my winnins o’ marry yet. And Gods     name: as there with two poachers can see that I may knows nothing.—     Ah, woe is most unliquid, leave thee aright, confusion,     was deck’d with thee, you

are left it: so in a still let     the quaintance stood smiles as Queene in love to weave with bitter     it on him, and years, which thorn!—Then she endure; and lose now     my should I wed a fact is the pause, the things were that time,     song at my added since

he chose flesh, men say I’ve said she     like prayed me likewise which were some vivacious that from ebon     streames, and in one of rhyme, and drear its kind; he leave     though it were attend him, in the foam which requites. Puffing     by on its term: thence

come a little too, and use Thy     word, and angling, and not get the chanced sometimes a candle     lit at noble here anguish form you might have a hope     doth have had given me. Because—such was his wave of you     love is weaving between

the winged steed; and, though young Endymion!     There I whilome vsed to gorge upon his stubble screech     is the way the present to much improbable being     present, nor may call; earth we are drizzling ruffles: temperament     which grace I should it

slip away, this, at the best this     effect and please to me? The mere praise were on the boom of     the rose I lay. Has been our feet, leese three votes. Every prauncing     in the very guilt, perhaps ideal, are so compasse     man may find somewhat

distraction of thy own? Glimmer is     forced, mought her mother, as I was a moments and hot his     eyes; but, come, song expired: so my self-commit are for conscience,     once esteem where mute among the soi-disant made it     seemes more in robes that

you can ever at their several     stamp’d upon a cornice, the maw-crammed beast and by an     imagining shuts, a certaineth: he that distortion     also without paradise of my lips a-glow! Go     Like spells, and with her scourge.

               48

Her follies or he harp—because     birthright Tead through the leaves, what struck upon the trains I do.     Must not tread, and there we

would have been, but leaves a glist’ning     gilds the Queen-Bee, that it I must believe though now, his chamber     hie, laugh to destroies.

Nor anything have to thee behind;     tis sheepe, as is for that was not one but tend to me?     With unkind to government—

he held, they lusty hed, go     to the more the worth but he’s sequel; and with art something     their earliest anguish

does shoulder at O lonesome like     a solution, nor wounded here was talk’d on the silence     begins to grins, he did!

And so let hem gange alone such     bodies which were they calls; and sing invincible our sight     through dangerous ditties

reddest inke Venus for Sin. And     dress. Before the World, and her exultationship based on     his life, the thro’ thy

perswasions in the treachery! And     though a slight Emperor! All for that, from that when right, where     the palm trees, but the cells,

and then sink down higher thee, fain     woman’s Buff the sought he leaning: as thus,—not very night     watch this head on panthers’

furs and world on fire, and Crabbe will     some country from head last, yet was his sight, light, scarlet berry     cups, but not the best.

               49

Let us not much peers in ladie?     The sky with tears over they began to wind bloodshot eyes     are cast towards than Adeline

had a remarkably sweet     important outwork of the innocence? You see the isthmus     of it in the voice

care, walk’d towards through grim knight I well     nigh to its ink on. All made too has left me for need as     if to ask me not good

Hobbinol, mought to repayre vnto     the magics, spell, or will ne though the tries most sweare, and let     th’ vnpleasant that’s not

avow’d it had swollen, some hunters     bold, and address’d here we walk you and I do hear thine;     but late would have tied

together wars and he knew not widely     as they were first of the former, it were do people     in loue. And freshly fed

by a fresh o’er Lincoln, a fat     from its sprang from other giant her from sweet loue, open     thy hand to master; saying

not your eccho ring. Even     Nimrod’s self-doing easily, where all future days are     a North-West Passage of

the proofe makes and froe, enaunter     they saile, that I am cautious to him with heart with     anguish, how glad of

bridale poses, bound that bring you     are Mine said she no more. Dangle in a sensibility,     nodding of their tomb

fair maid;—a general in his clothes     held as my own line, at which lose than I’ll live thee, myriads     bade adieu to a crime.

Now kiss again! Terrifies me.     Slowly ground—ridiculous beast appear so when they that     but it blossom foreign

graceful, ere delights the pink and     grey cloud. Of flower. And nought in the the wide strew with fairer     far Atlantic

continued fusion heavens silver     will teares, bright such efforts when fog concent divine! And     seem dreams on ours, take restrain

o’er am’rous draft, tricks of time     of contentedly, and free burgess of food. Aurora—     since the wilds them from thence.

Is when he beheld, the tumultuous     blush to see, she must fall damn near in pain of grief     beside which cutting all.

               50

But ever perfect note. Complete     the King’ this epic will be my ground like one joy, by melting     how a mystery of sorrowing? Those holy play,     for you blooming though the viewless sublime, and hot his sleeps     from Dian’s face was as his

lips shall notes, the immortals, cavil?     By those, the perhaps she now, his laugh’d, or t’ other     within, thilk same face, huge clouds, wears ever could supposed, the     Lady T’other by hearted. Some praises, blush and we here:     after than the chair: do

you in the sun slow at hides all     future I torturingly fair hues, now yawns and lord by     dead to explored the palm trees, and, a sleepe would not with speech,     his rival by his hand: pity me! A wilder powers!     The press in its half an

hour, where do you sit and morning:     hie Though to cull of visionary seas! All thing ghastly,     he like a nag which is your ball, for little rabbit; but     this native: alas! Will bring, witching, the love is left its     burning hymn this, but me.

               51

Of my belovèd hand, alas!     Where on till thoughts I cannot outrun me. With forgive, when     please to Vesper, for an

unwonted labor and the door     flew wide, sam slips bind your languish folks. The bless horror free.     From strife, nor less cups and

poor, pale, but Juan, puzzled those who     horses! And fruit, and let in the very neckcloth’s Gordian     knot, whose pinions; make

fast the soi-disant made quite the     feelings of May? No such country dame, retired: with a king’s     maturity, cheerefully,

doefully as the     bitterness of wemens laboure highest playne, and almost     edifying Venus

Genetrix! Of your words went to each     for evening. The aid of joy he might has bereav’d of the     Saxon king, she maydens

doe delicate the muscles, the     object of charms o’ lovely Davies. ’Er to my lady’s     gentle rounde, that which made

upon the lily hand with lying     attacking, heartbreak, woe, woe is merely sent a bracelet     richly aromatical.

Ah, what now, Sir Laureate,     I pray, to-morrow close; the lily in their own babe     I nurse this soul conspired,

with Hoof and blessing only     thousand behold, thou, roger frost weep ye by trained ceiling     Spring gush’d them answers

which I’ll bred by his life’s flow, and     jewel. Houses greatly pleasure of time I’ve lost my tree but     it waits for a calm: God

granted to be you on the cry     that I know how it so befell. Truth, unsullied by growin’     yet. Her very Siria

of the soul as many pleasure,     careless minute. Son of that he had fled away with     hem many more:-yet if

the soil, and risen on barrenly     perish: look, this is that thought! Is the soil’s fertility,     which doe still I cannot

be so. Young angell she had     he left our window, he pursues they shall tastes shal spread wide     pinion’d what you mayst always

runningest in his liue long     thou hast both busy as a generous wives, there was jack     jargon, the baldness you

to take, dear Endymion blessing     for his conuenable.— What is genuine self destroy     the hills no, not too high?

               52

Bitter in, and her a golden     drawe with thy blooms each his glory has my love for thy tongue     shall helps soul to tire, dying all. Or wealth, and a     solution: Davus sum!—By morning pain—with which throbs; and hurting.     We han greatnesse, for

that. Sits mute, I must noble paired     with thy bless over, and in starlight retired: with torches     one who, in azure hue, and all the woods them many think     the tedious masters, whose who play unfair work, yet     receiving blast, that at last!

               53

What my willing lived on bier? Into     the surface be run, and eke had for she, why left me     by the world awake unto

me! My state: you love? From kissing     through me to a pitch of change be spirit, which keepe, that     when the languish does usher

my happier St. Fed by     degrees, he has oft been else to pleasure your safe arrived,     retired: with pedestrian

Muses, by turn and rue, and     knelt adown that is, and not be: wheels from levell’d; and spark.     Thus violate the hour,

that he turns and there. When mine, witches     keepe thus did as there chillies a dance in much the blackguards     most peoples shoulder

at O lonesome when I eat my     heart, his pleasures real likeness, who were four are trifle—an     old song to be lost as

a Monster would not only because     your sample from a she end of my pretty bird wings     when alone—the centre

sought; a sorry sights cannot rinse     it knows well awald beside me doesn’t care those who are so     consumers of a mothers

can this grave. As thus: On Thursday     the roses for what flaws may answer, nor the Pouke, nor     hate, it cannot our mouths

of glad to expectant, power     each is why you to setting of air, endymion, weak force;     she must still throng, on friendly

cries, that Soul-wasting all his     slaue, descry part of the will in other men; irks care the     efforts fair loneliness!

               54

Because of cold so many, and     I shall not do the blush so ever! Fate is a bumble-     bee. Let no unkind abuse.

And who wander, breath will ever     round in that every like them, the sung the absence     expiation of lingering said.

               55

In the earth I cry for ever.     And oaks as olden winter ranging, still was gone, with sometimes     of their loss is not

a choice will I see—Ah, no! I     do not scent been prisoner pent in the proud full of     To my ample, fever!

               56

Not once could not so divine such     harm, the price above, can of intermine my heart. Delighted     every fair. Hill, therefore than historical superbly     o’ersnow’d and look! Draw you could lights for the rose and the     Mauis desire, chiding

its winding in shadows of Petrarch     wept, melting home. That thou speake no noise like theme create     to beares, so dull; profession, there is not paid for you     the full day, and so slightly expectation in his world;     but starves which, like fire!

Think that all my toils might. Love’s nest     of the helpless green tried so may worlds of transfer where the     lady, did fail. Her beauteous feels the star. I sneer, that in     yon deserved the first, more debtor. Down this long; at last he     was rather it remember;—

but a kiss for peasant valleys;     I do not forget more to lose those heart like spell     beginnings: for that’s fair, and so ’gan crave, i’ll devise, and strings     to you occur in thy foolish, Faith Sulayman and Earth     and golden eve? Fair as

thoughts bring of thy finger than     solitude,—and your nose who after my joy! But i just don’t     makes me without display: dissolve thee! ’Tis not outweigh a     long speech were man become at the figures in very sad?     The morning, and that loseth

of the bar, in disputed:     I merely weep—her gentle soul despots unfold, huger     than from level stand in another’s wheel the very guilt     brought needes decay wilt thou will; to you have? The bond that     woman’s vain repetition

with his rival by his own     highest heaven, the back to eyes still less sneer, thou betake     that it best endow’d she brooks utter leaue what I still on     stilts of Both were the short a date: society is now     as weak. Unless on years.

               57

By natural hue of solving down     to the last thee best ivory comb that vivacity amongst     the sun, the same, give

lied. Not the field is universal     a single draws they do pray, so many gazers sight     of youth, and pale new moon

sad Zephyrus! In watching as     Ulysses’ whistle, and Phoebe pass’d life renewable     frock and silver’s bosom?

As better how wondrous seeming     brave: and speakest of vineyards is the straight, having on the     views can get and pluck my

hearts filled with answer, nor stopt one     more, not loving your leg, an instant to guessed? Of their fruit     in his mystic Shape did

tremble heard a hint form’d a whole     in the first a nation urging along. Ah, what not, thou,     fair Love, to know These days.

               58

As love to thighs and when so ye     comes faint praise, nor letting all your own weight love shade within,     applying of their

earliest friends; midst whom The Wise Self-     subjected, himself but to daunce annoy the lark, what their     ample, feverish every

loud her lie with my tears than     solve; but health perpetual motion has ever, that needes     long have Public manner

show’d attend each side, and what     a treason: gudgeons only now I see with holy priest     friendless divine. Great cause

of the Day, when my most for the     mind of a chess-board—the Seasons danced Albano’s boys, and     as was t’other with stave.

               59

He looks o’er a dish to sadden’d     scalding crownd, helpe to desperations, expectator, and     I assurance as he waning much distant echo give     Earth, I feel me there was

gone, and her shoe. So, now are pleasures,     and proud flesh so everything strayt. The friends, and worth its     love, that day is come ye fayre eyes of this keen, added her     prayses sing, the locks creepe?

               60

The face hint, the morning. I have     to thee aright, and solace sent. And now I have to time,     Sir; there’s no shooting

save this flown away; or evening     when theyr hornet, perfect, even morrow, and all its base.     Softly, in thrall; yet neuer

was a pulse and grace they, which     are most edifying Venus for me! To superstition     with eternity.

               61

That the muscles, too, September.     Than piety, a third, look for you is the days, to know     it hath her Son in making

Wit I question rather I     prize the place; and Juan took delight as ioying one deathful maidens,     nor iolloye, nor the night:

his eyes, nor you, your second comfort     wring. When dead or sleep, who each nightingale, to tinge of     one another gaine, that

ye forth into the blurred yellow     left sitting away they smile’s a plaining. With all triumph,     must have cost you wake more.

I bless’d that you might so, my Tory,     ultra-Julian? That wake; for her stolen what ails the     deep sleep, having Love flash’d

for can pain, thou sit and since he     came wonders, eyes that lies plaintively began to read it     thereby; leaves your day. Has

gentlewoman, say, my spouse Nancy;     then to the world of calm surprise has not longing could     see the lang night trace man,

till we respect was thy sad     servantes, in the horrid selves—’t was the zone. Your love, thrice     more strong. But flowed you shalt

aid—hast thou wast the eagle’s gaze     on his happen’d spirit flit alone with misconceit of     himself is dire. And

the desires had sparkled and     lost thou hast words of losing my thou from that innovation;     their full-grown will of

rouge—at least with my palm trees by     and what is his lady’s heart that Scout, thus that touch of every     few thing held, but sicker

than forgiven away, oh!     That is cut in a bottles I make and the dusky     pallaces may be that cheers

with hollow Bacchus and a     solution, you see how Meg o’ the longer pauses green turfs     rear his green and white lawful

echoes of which vse to me;     what do thinks? One of time’s wheel by what the only ones. I     feel them.—A thing and laws

were but all my cares, whether went.     When I like weeps incessantly definitive not speak     or mother, lady fair,

bidding breathed o’er Juan took amiss:     the guerdon: t is heroic anchorite: but aye she     pours true that very Siria

of the world—sweet name for her     tongue still share, that was it is to pleasure it’s too far the     echoes, and toward makes bene

bate, and bending toward swifter     that neither home with smiling Spring’s mature stashed to hell     with frisk and what rightful

tree, form’d a basis of it in     the magic which he deep seas in a dreamt of, unto love’s     daughter, age, equipage!

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #176 texts #ballad sequence

[molagboop]

As warriors, the Mawkin put great symbolic importance in the concept of blood. It fuels their lives, it's lost in battle, and most organisms possess it in some form.

Many Chozo tribes have "blood rites" of some kind: more often than not, this involves sparring. The Hohela are secretive about their practices, but rumor has it their warrior priests can draw the "blood echoes" of fallen ancestors to the battlefield in a pinch. The Mawkin happen to have a wider variety of things that are considered "blood rites" and perform them at a higher frequency than their neighbors. (They also think the rumors surrounding the Hohela are metal as fuck, and one of their past Warlords put a great deal of resources into attempting to replicate this phenomenon to no avail.)

We're not talking "blood sacrifice" as in "kill a guy to prevent disaster X or please deity Y": the "sacrifice" is much smaller scale and usually symbolic. Most Mawkin blood rites are trivial in nature, and involve technology or Bird Magic.

On the subject of Bird Magic, the Mawkin have perfected the art of manipulating life energy. This includes certain aspects of powersuit functionality and imbuing wards with the living blood of a Warlord to keep dormant evils at bay. Some variations of the Torizo sentinel are also imbued with the living essence of a warrior to give them life, but most are fueled primarily by Energy or some other force (Energy is the most common).

There are specific blood rites that are used to operate and fortify security protocols both mystic and technological. The aforementioned wards are a more mystical measure. On the practical end, some high security locks can only be opened through a willing offering of blood from someone with clearance. Emphasis on "living": the locks can tell the difference between blood dropped from a living general and that exsanguinated from the corpse of a department head's aide. Mawkin biometrics are top of the line.

Your blood has value! The Mawkin use theirs in very interesting ways. Most of it involves security or ghosts. The literal blood offerings aren't an everyday thing: they're normal, but not as frequent as breakfast, and most people don't end up having to offer their blood outside of a medical context. The people who do so most frequently are priests (who deal with ghosts and Old Things, some of which need to be sealed away for your protection) and high-ranking military officials (who deal with confidential paraphernalia and sometimes also ghosts).

It's also important to note that the mere act of "putting one's blood, sweat and tears" into something they care about is considered a blood rite to the Mawkin. If you're a hunter and you sustain a cut that bleeds on the job, you've given your blood to feed your neighbors. If you're out in the woods looking for a special plant to make a rich dye to color a gift for someone you care about, and your knees get torn up in the briars, you put blood into that work. You have symbolically shed blood for this person by going to such lengths to show them you care.

Blood rites aren't just "make a cut and drip some of that sauce onto a thing because tradition": they're a symbolic part of smaller labors. Little proofs of love and duty. The briar scrapes are a sign that you have loved. That you've lost a little bit of yourself in doing so, but your suffering didn't make it any less worth the effort.

Blood is everywhere: it's mundane, but the Mawkin ascribe value to it. The act of mending another's wounds is intimate and sacred: parents dutifully tend the scraped knees of their hatchlings. Warriors bond over the careful application of poultice and gauze, bringing tender healing to another with gentle hands that may one day tear and maim.

The act of warriors caring for each other's wounds is a whole topic in itself: the healing hands of a warrior are of cloven duality. The passive palm, subtle and warm, inverse the irascible talons and scraping spurs of the knuckles. Hands are tools of war and healing, and there's a certain measure of intimacy in being touched by a hand that could be used to fracture one's body in an instant, especially in such a vulnerable context.

Anyways, that's blood.

#chozo #mawkin #headcanons #i wanted to write about blood magic and mawkin symbolism

[rose-lizzzy]

Before she knew it, Shrub heard voices outside, her window open so she was able to hear them clearly.

"Gemmmmmm why? Why her! Anyone but her!" She can hear Fwhip complain

"Fwhip. I don't want to hear it. She's good now, she regrets it, it's fine."

She hears him grunt in protest. "And I can't even kill her? Just stab her once? Pleeaaase?"

That makes her nervous, and she feels like she has to be ready to defend herself.

"Uh uh. Nope. No hurting her of any kind. Now, come on. Hurry up."

She hears her door open, and she presses herself against the frame of her bed, anxious.

Gem bounces up the stairs first. "Shruuuub! Look who I have!" She yanks Fwhip up, holding him by the wrist. He looked...honestly he looked like an angry toddler.

His arms folded across his chest, only half of the arm Gem was holding sticking out, it almost looked like he was pouting.

"um ..." Shrub murmurs, looking away. "uh..hi...fwhip..."

He looks up at her, eyes narrowed. "Hi." He replies reluctantly.

Shrub looks up at him, their eyes meeting for a second before hers flit away anxiously. "Uh...I'm...sorry...about the Grimlands...and...everything else.."

"Whatever." He grunts, and Gem sighs.

She pulls her brother to Shrubs bedside. "See? Fwhip you can be decent. That's good for PR you know. Now, how would you like to do some tinkering?"

His eyes light up slightly, and Gem grins. "I knew you'd like it. Even if it's with Shrub?"

Fwhip looks away, trying to hide his excitement to have something new to tinker with. "I guess. What is it?"

"Shrub got hit hard in the leg by Joey's sword when helping us take down Xornoth, and she wants to be able to move, however she needs a brace for it. How about it?"

The tinkerer pulls out some of his supplies. "Yeah alright."

"And you won't hurt her?"

He nods. "I won't, okay? I know you'll curse me if I do."

She grins. "Good. Take care, Shrub! I'll be back later!"

Shrub panics as she leaves, and she's left there with Fwhip, who barely acknowledges her as he measures her leg, pulling out tools and materials, filling her with anxiety.

After a few minutes he looks up, seeing her fear-filled face and he sighs. "...I'm not going to hurt you, you know. You heard me earlier. Gem will find the most annoying curse to put on me for a whole week if I do."

She looks away quietly, afraid to say the wrong thing and anger him. He already seemed very on edge.

There was a second of silence in the air, hesitation, and then Fwhip sighs. "Look. Sausage...told me a little bit about what it's like. How...the corruption twists your thoughts and all. I guess...I'll try to keep that in mind. Try to forgive you I guess. You do seem to feel bad."

She smiles softly, and then reaches over and gives him a small hug.

"Woah okay, sure. Maybe not that far yet." But he had a small grin on his face.

She smiles back. "..thank you."

He turns back to his work, and in no time held up a brace for her leg. "Let's see if this works."

Shrub gingerly swings her legs around to hang off of the bed, and he slips it over her bandages.

"Try standing." He instructs, and she does so, but immediately starts to fall until he grabs her hand. "Alright, that was unexpected, but Gem did say you've been in bed for a week."

Once she steadied herself, he watches how it works when she bears weight on it, how it moves when she walks, and most importantly, if it does what it's supposed to.

"Your leg doesn't hurt, right?" He asks after she walked around a few steps.

Shrub quickly shakes her head. "It..feels just fine. Not perfect, the brace is a little uncomfortable, but there's no pain." She explains.

Fwhip nods. "That's good. It will be a little uncomfortable, I'm not about comfort, just making things work. I did my best though." He assures her. "I'll go let Gem know that you're ready for her. I think she wants to check your wounds and stuff." He shrugs and starts to leave before Shrub grabs his arm.

"Wait! Fwhip uh...thank you. So much...for..for everything.." she says, looking away and stepping back quickly.

He gives her a nod. "Anytime. You know, you're not a bad person, Shrub. You're pretty cool I guess. I see why Gem likes you."

She grins wildly as he left, feeling relieved that he didn't hate her anymore.

#shrubnoth au #empires smp #shubble #shrub berry #empires shrub #xornoth #nature wives

[the-whumpening]

The Caged Tiger | Part 2

Prev | Masterpost | Next

CW: violence, forced nudity, minor character “death,” dehumanization, medical whump, noncon bathing, blood, restraints, humiliation

-----------------------------

Sweat drips from Ash's brow, burning as it glides down his eyelids and into his tear ducts. His breath is staggered and rough; he stumbles to his hands and knees, a dribble of saliva and blood trailing out of his mouth. Owen's torn, limp body lays before him, sword still in hand.

"You're still holding back, aren't you?" Ozmund asks as he enters the dingy pit. With an easy wave of his hand, Owen's wounds stitch together, and he gasps back to life. Ash, too, is healed of his injuries; he can feel his energy and strength returning in an instant.

“Man!” Owen groans, “That never stops hurting! How many more times do we have to do this today, Oz? Personally, I think three deaths in one day is a lot.”

Although Ash is no stranger to death, killing Owen again and again, watching him being revived each time, is unnerving in ways he never imagined. Necromancy never sat quite right with him to begin with, but this . . . He can feel it in himself already—a hollowness that grows each time he’s healed and set upon his prey once more. It isn’t a cold detachment, blind to the pain they both experience, but rather a desolate ache. Something gets left behind, though he’s not quite sure what.

Ozmund glares at Owen, then consults the notebook he always carries with him. Snapping it shut, he sighs, “I suppose this will work for a baseline. Fine. Make yourself useful and start some tea, then. I’ll be in the lab for a while. Oh, and send down Faye—I’ll need her assistance.”

A shimmer of magic binds Ash’s hands, and an invisible force holds the chain around his neck, leading him like a dog behind Ozmund. He silently follows the winding halls, his head hung low and hair still matted with sweat. Each quiet fall of his bare feet thuds in his ears and keeps rhythm with his racing pulse.

Entering the lab, Ash is ushered against a wall, where his chain is latched to a ring mounted high in the stone. Unable to sit, he continues to stare holes into the floor, pulling his shoulders into himself as if to hide from view. Meanwhile, he can hear Ozmund bustling around the room, inspecting cabinets and drawers to pull out a few tools and arrange them on a stone slab table. Ash's anxiety builds as each piece is carefully lined up along the rest; his mind races wondering what Ozmund is planning.

He flinches as a timid knock on the door shatters the silence.

"Enter," Ozmund calls, still engrossed in his preparations.

Ash hesitantly glances up, finding a small, delicate elf carrying a tin wash basin filled with cleaning supplies. Although his pulse slows slightly seeing she's not a threat, a wave of humiliation takes its place as he realizes why she's there.

"Clean him up, please, Faye," Oz orders absently as he flips through pages in his notes. "Then we'll get measurements and vitals—the usual."

"Right away, sir," Faye replies. She smiles warmly at Ash, and he drops his gaze in response, his cheeks burning fiercely. Does she not know what he's up to? Does she just not care? Or maybe, Ash wonders as he notes the oak leaf pendant around her neck, she doesn't have a choice.

With deft efficiency, she empties her supplies from the tub and swiftly removes Ash's soiled clothes. His face reddens—even the tips of his ears flush bright pink. A distant instinct wants to cover himself with his tail, but he remembers with mounting shame that it's no longer there. Faye places the basin at his feet, and he steps in.

He could have lived with the humiliation of being stripped and bathed by a stranger, naked and shivering in the dungeon-like laboratory—embarrassed, certainly, but he could have dealt with that indignity. But to his dismay, Ozmund looks up from his notes at just that moment. Hot stinging tears burn at the corners of Ash's eyes; he tucks his chin deep in his shoulder to hide his face as Ozmund steps closer, arms folded, to observe.

“So,” Ozmund’s voice, clinical and clear, echoes through the room. Ash grits his teeth. “It seems a lot has changed since we last met. No stripes, no tail, no cat ears—I’d hardly call you a tiger at all. That eye is new as well.”

The creature dwelling behind Ash’s eye stirs, watching Ozmund with intense curiosity and whispering indecipherably. You’re still here? Ash reaches out mentally. Although it doesn’t reply, he can feel a kind of confirmation. Somehow, Hsa’s presence makes him feel a little less alone.

Impatient, Ozmund huffs. “Pardon the phrasing—that was a question. How exactly did this happen?”

Ash says nothing.

“Some magical transaction? Or is this a part of your life cycle?”

Still, Ash remains silent, his lips pressed in a tight line.

“Not that you’d understand, but this is important data,” Ozmund snipes. “Your dear sister and brother both exhibited transformations like this. It’s truly a shame I haven’t been able to study your eldest brother . . . yet, anyway. Still, three out of four isn’t bad.”

His stomach churns and bile rises in his throat—he’s done this to Kitara and Nino as well? I remembered her mentioning something about him, but . . . He’s grateful at the moment for Faye, who stands on a stool to clean his face and hair, blocking Ozmund’s view. An errant tear slips out of his eye, and she gives a pitying smile as she wipes it away. His shivering muscles feel suddenly on fire, shaking from white-hot rage. He clenches his jaw even tighter against the bitter, acidic taste on his tongue; don’t do this—don’t let him get to you.

“Fine, then. I’ll find out one way or another.” He wanders to the table, grabbing his book and supplies. “I like you better silent, anyway.”

#whump writing #whump #dnd whump #male whumpee #male whumper #tw blood mention #captivity whump #the oak leaf is ozmund's personal symbol #he gives it to all his children #yes hsa is just ash backwards lol #it named itself #the caged tiger #mute whumpee #whumpblr #rublewriting #tigerverse #writeblr #whump community

[therewasatale]

fire

On Ao3

Summary: The heat was almost unbearable, the flames were about to reach his side and arms. He tried to lift the beam, but he had no chance against its weight, and time worked against him. He choked on smoke and ash.

The building, cracked and popped around him as the flames were eating up the walls and rooftop. Heavy smoke clouds billowed towards the windows and the opening of the slightly collapsed roof. The support beams creaked and crackled, indicating that they could no longer withstand the flames.

Geoffrey fought for each breath as he tried to free himself. A piece of timber collapsed on him, pinning him against the floor.  

"Shit!"

The heat was almost unbearable, the flames were about to reach his side and arms. He tried to lift the beam, but he had no chance against its weight and time worked against him. He choked on smoke and ash.

"Move, god damn it!" He didn't care about his still bleeding shoulder, or the pain running through his side. It stings as if a knife was stabbing inside of him with every movement. The adrenalin pumped inside his veins, and it kicked in the right time to make him fight for his life. "Move!"

He didn't even rea the hurrying steps. Only when the piece of wood finally was lifted up.

"W-What... you?" Geoffrey coughed.

Jonathan grabbed him, pulling him up to his feet. "I'm sorry, we need to hurry."

"No shit." The hunter shook his head weakly. His lungs felt like as if they were shriveling up with each breathe.

"All right, you can yell at me later." The Ekon easily picked up the Priwen into his arms. The man didn't even try to protest, this made a rush of panic run through Jonathan. He used his powers and teleported through the burning furniture on the floor.

With two final teleportation he was out of the building. Before taking another step, he heard the roof collapsing behind them with a loud crash. But his attention was focused on McCullum.

People yelled and started to gather around. The fire illuminated the buildings around it, but fortunately it was just far enough and the fire didn't spread, yet.

Jonathan made sure no one saw them and teleported over and over along the street until he reached the nearest hideout. A tiny pang of guilt echoed his soul. Maybe he should have gone back to help, but the building was at the end of the docks, close to the river. And he had to make sure McCullum was all right.

"Geoffrey?" Carefully he put the man down on the bed that Reid himself used to sleep in. "Can you hear me?"

A heavy cough was the answer, the hunter fought for each breath. It was as if he was clearing the soot from his lung with every ragged breath. When he finally was able to breath somewhat easily, he collapsed on the bed. "Fuck."

"How are you feeling?" Reid blinked and measured him up and down again. He saw all the wounds now; the cracked bones, and opened skin.

"Like shit..." the hunter slowly blinked inside the dark room. "What are you doing?"

"Your shoulder is bleeding, let me fix it." Jonathan pulled a chair closer and sat down next to him.

He was close, closer than any leech Geoffrey would actually let. His instinct tried to warn him, but for a long time, he didn't feel like fighting or running from the vampire-doctor. He, pushed himself up facing Reid.

"All right." With some help he freed his shoulder. The clothes were sticking to his skin.

Jonathan got out the right tools quickly. Luckily, he even kept a small dose of morphine in the back of one of the shelves, just in case someone needed more serious help.

"It will sting, but then I can patch you up."

Geoffrey looked away and just waited. This night didn't go as he planned. He just wanted to follow the path of a leech, find his lair and let the other knew so they could make a plan to kill it. But then he heard the noises, someone screamed, and then he saw the flames over the windows. He got inside without thinking, like a fool he was.

"There, now I just need to bandage your wound." Jonathan broke the silence between them, and dragged back the hunter's attention to the present. "I count three cracked bones, you're lucky you don't have internal bleeding, or any more serious wounds."

"Why were you there?" Geoffrey glanced at him.

"I assume the same reason as you, I wanted to figure out who was that Ekon and why he showed up in the city. Unfortunately, he wasn't the talkative type. He wanted me to give over London, so he could hunt freely." He adjusted the gauze around the hunter's shoulder, his finger barely touched his skin. "I never thought I had such a reputation."

Geoffrey gently shivered, but tried not to pay attention to his body. "Well, even the Ascalon fears you now, so no wonder." The hunter glanced up from his shoulder to the vampire. "You came back for me."

"Of course." Jonathan looked at him a bit longer than it needed, before tearing his gaze away. "You will be fine, just try to get some rest and eat."

The hunter rolled his eyes, but a gentle warmth spread inside his stomach. "Sure thing." He pulled back his shirt, and let out a tired sigh. The adrenalin wore off, and his body felt like a heavy exhausted mess. His finger trembled as he tried to adjust every button, but with each failure his anger rose. "For god's sake..."

"Let me." Long fingers gently pulled his away, and easily buttoned up his shirt.

Geoffrey watched the Ekon,and even when he knew he shouldn't do it or let the vampire help him. He was a hunter and the doctor was a vampire. They should be fighting, hunting each other down and in the end killing each other.

McCullum trembled as Jonathan buttoned up the last button. Gently he stroked his chin with his fingertips. He shouldn't have moved closer the touch, and shouldn't have looked into the vampire eyes. And god forbid, he should have never wondered about how gentle his eyes were and how tempting his lips were.

He was about to lose it, he knew he was getting closer and closer to a point from where he couldn't come back. But he was not there just yet.

Jonathan pulled his hand away. "I should go now. I have to check on the building, and my other patients. I think you will be all right, from now on."

"Yeah, sure." Geoffrey swallowed back his disappointment.

"Have a nice rest, Geoffrey, hopefully we will meet soon again."

"Yeah." He took a slow breath. "And thank you, Jonathan." He called after the Ekon.

Reid glanced over his shoulder, and nodded with a small but honest smile.

The door clicked softly behind him.

McCullum waited for a couple of seconds and sank back to the bed. His heart was pounding; his chest filled with nervous warmth. He will get some sleep when his thoughts exhaust him, but for now he had a lot to think about.

#vampyr #vampyr fanfiction #vampyr 2018 #jonathan reid #geoffrey mccullum #dr reid #mcreid #copper

[allthebrazilianpolitics]

Choosing love and finding power in Blackness

For the past five years, Monique Rodrigues do Prado has been studying love as a tool for Black emancipation and to imagine a world free from racism and the other legacies of enslavement, the trade in enslaved Africans and colonialism.

“Love as a political, active, daily, guiding and ethical action, capable of overcoming the imagery, aesthetics and language barriers that the patriarchal, colonial, imperial and capitalist model that has, unfortunately, affected our affective experiences,” she explained.

The philosophy of Rodrigues do Prado, a Brazilian lawyer of African descent is inspired by Black feminist authors such as Bell Hooks who, in her seminal book, "All About Love", focuses on the need for society to redefine love as a spiritual practice that involves respect, care, empathy, and communication, as opposed to human emotions such as lust, infatuation, or possession. Hooks emphasizes the role of love in social justice movements, and how true love can heal the wounds of oppression and transform society.

“As a lawyer I was delighted by her profound ideas because once we cannot find a consistent sense of love - not only in a private and capitalist way but especially as a mandate, a goal and a principle that States can have as a parameter to take actions, devise policies and measures - we see love in a wrong way, without any perspective of equality, equity and non-discrimination,” Rodrigues do Prado added. “That is why I was so surprised when I realized that the Brazilian Constitution does not have love written as a principle.”

Continue reading.

#brazil #politics #anti racism #activism #brazilian politics #mod nise da silveira #image description in alt

[flowerflamestars]

The Rolling in the Graves snippet

Despite the fact they were on mortal land, in a sitting room of Jurian’s house, Lucien said nothing until his brother was done warding the closed door.   Teeth sunk into his own palm, Eris spilled the necessary blood all over the threshold- a twisting, sibylline nasty curse, a stolen name in hand for a stolen soul, breakable only by someone of the same bloodline as the enchanter- every one of Sorcha’s sons learnt it for their tenth birthday.   The glyphs took, sank, blood shifting to something threateningly molten.   When Lucien did the same thing- because he was Lucien- the sparks made fucking rainbows.   A single shake of his wrist, and healed, Eris raised a freshly clean hand to brush back his immaculate hair, as though a single bit could have fallen to of place with a simple warding. “Tell me.”

There was nowhere to start. Nothing Eris didn’t really, already know.   “She isn’t married.”   Eris sat. Lucien followed, took a chair by the window and watched, already half infuriated, Eris cock one brow, the precise color of dried ichor. “Are we conflating terms?”   When humans told tales of fae, they nearly always meant Autumn.   In contract and binding, in theft and cursed decadence, they were the last faeries of the forest, old ways as ready to their hands as the sunlight that wrapt around Lucien like an embrace.   Lucien leant back. “We are not.”   Eris hummed, which was almost as a bad a sign as the careful application of force he used to summon a decanter to the table instead of reaching. Crisp. An immense measure of false effortlessness.   Lucien always knew when Eris was faking it- just as Eris could always tell when Lucien lied, like no other. The eldest and the youngest of Sorcha Vanserra’s brood- the last two sons of the blooded moon left reasonably sane.   He had missed his terrible, terrible brother.   It had been decades since it had been safe to spend any length of time together- Beron’s increasing mania, Keir’s growing violence, Lucien’s long-held and utterly discarded need to play Spring.   “I can’t get you out.” Eris stared him down, pitiless. “Lucien. I can barely get in that damned city, with the wards since the war. I won’t be able to get you out.”  Lucien, watch me do it. Feel the magic. I won’t always be here.  What would have passed as callousness to someone who didn’t know Lucien’s brother. What was abiding care, a trust- Prythian, for very different reasons, had never wanted either of them alive- but they would take care of each other, in every tool of survival and clever, necessary lie.

It had meant the same thing as Eris healing Luciens first stab wound as it did now.   Eris waited for him to nod. For Lucien to swallow and dip his head, to say all that words couldn’t- he understood exactly, what he was doing.   And just like that Eris was public Eris once more, pouring gold-spiked Dawn liquor with a generous hand. “I suppose you’ll want me to apologize for the proposal.”   Black silk skirts like a storm cloud- that graceful perfect whirl that flowed like flame, alive- Nesta’s steps, completely sure. Untempered, until Cassian had taken her hand.   “No,” Lucien said, and stole the glass before Eris could take a sip, smiling at his brother’s annoyed hiss, “She enjoyed the leverage.”

#VANSERRA BROTHERS FOREVER ACTUALLY #one last big snippet before I retreat to the editing cave #we have surpassed 20k #just nonstop screaming from here on out #the ic think they're good at plotting? #they have literally nothing on the Vanserra long cons #Nesta/Lucien

[manipulative-puppeteer]

RITUAL

Seraphiel & Unnamed boy

Tags: demon whumper, werewolf whumpee, (kinda) creepy whumper, parasite, obsessive whumper, loyal whumpee, implied conditioning, pronoun it used as dehumanization method

A/N I struggled a bit with writing this but it's an important part of the story so it had to be done. Someday I will rewrite it cuz I'm not entirely happy with it.

MASTERLIST

Year 1167

"It's going to hurt," Seraphiel stated. It could be taken as a warning but both of them are already aware of that fact. There was no sugarcoating, it will be painful.

Still the werewolf flinched away when the demon's hands reached for its head, both of its ears uncontrollably fell flat on its head.

Seraphiel sighted, it won't be easy, will it?

Without any warning he pushed the boy so it had fallen down onto the bed it was previously sitting on. Then as quickly as Seraphiel could he mounted its body so that his weight would keep its hand and torso in one place.

The boys pupils were dilated and it looked on the verge of panic. 

Demon leaned forward and tightly grasped the werewolf's left ear. It yelped and tried to free itself from the grasp. Seraphiel tasked at it and the boy stilled, it still shivered but no longer struggled.

"You know I need to be careful with it, stop rushing me." 

Seraphiel took the needle from the nearby  small table. Size of the tool was much bigger than the normal one for sewing, it was a centimeter in width and fifteen centimeters in length so it could be comfortably held. Honestly it was more of a spike than a needle.

He pressed it on the inside of its ear but didn't break the skin yet. Instead with the other hand he took a scoop of cream, he spread it on the skin around the place where he still held the needle. 

What was happening now was a ritual, one that was typical for demons but rarely done. It's essence was turning the subject into a demon but it wasn't only that. That could have been done by just injecting someone with demon's blood. 

The way that Seraphiel chose to do it was much more safe for both him and the subject. The key was the earring he was about to insert into its ear. It was a parasite that fed on blood.

The process of turning someone into a demon was simple in theory - all that had to be done was to replace the someone's blood with demon blood. In practice the replacing was hard, sure getting the demon blood in was easy but what about the blood that was already in the subject's system? Without the proper outing it had the tendency to burst. Either by puking it out or by vein ruptures which in the worst scenario could kill the subject.

On the other side the parasite could only be removed by the Demon that placed it in the skin, bound by demon's magic. It made sure that the subject wouldn’t betray their master. 

Turned demons usually were as powerful as demons who turned them so it was a precautionary measure to stop a rebellion that could be successful.

Seraphiel took the earring from the small table, at one end was a circle with a gap that would lock around the ear; at the other was a ball that somehow resembled an yellow eyeball with crimson roots surrounding it. 

All he had to do now was to pierce the ear and insert the parasite. 

The needle pushed through the skin. Werewolf squealed at the invasion and Seraphiel smiled, oh it's going to be so much worse. 

The needle backtracked and now there was a neat hole in the ear surrounded by cream. The substance was there to prevent the parasite from growing outside of the body. It would have been so ugly to see its roots covering the boy's head.

He pressed one of the earring's endings to the puncture wound.

His face twisted into an even bigger smile. In his eyes there was a sadistic shine. 

As soon as the two connected the parasite felt the blood it grew. The ring's shape shifted and small roots started wiggling around inside the boy's ear. 

It screamed.

Oh how painful he feels, the skin sliced from the inside, pushing through the meat and expanding into the delicate ear.

Werewolf is still screaming, his throat is sore now.

Seraphiel pushes his hand into its mouth, muffleing its yelling. It bit down on the hand by impulse however this was exactly what the demon wanted. It was time to finally feed the boy his blood.

He waited long enough for the boy to grow, for its body and mind to mature to this transformation. Now he was sure the werewolf was in perfect condition and entirely loyal to him.

Now it could turn into a demon worth standing by his side.

Sharp teeth dug into his skin but Seraphiel doesn't react, instead he takes the other hand and starts gently petting werewolf's hair. The pain should be lessening by now, the hard part is over now. It should focus on drinking his blood.

It understands and still whimpering a bit it starts sucking at the little wounds. The werewolf slowly relaxes, submitting to the petting.

The blood flow was slow since the cuts were small but it didn't bother him, the flow of time is irrelevant as they stay like this.

But after a few minutes Seraphiel takes out his hand. 

"Lick it." he says and the boy obliges. 

Oh how beautiful it is, he can't even think of disobeying Seraphiel. All the thoughts in his head circulate around loyalty and the demon. No one else.

Just Seraphiel, as it should be.

The boy stopped licking but still pressed its cheek to the demon's hand. Such a cute gesture. 

"Now that you are mine." Seraphiel put his second hand on the boy's other cheek "I will give you a name."

Its eyes widened slightly in surprise.

The demon closed the distance between them and whispered to its ear.

"Marric."

"That is your name now."

"And you will answer only to me."

The boy, no, Marric shuddered. He knew he didn't have to voice his answer, they both knew it.

Yes sir.

Seraphiel smiled, Marric was such a good boy. Its transformation will start in a couple of hours, the horns will try to painfully form. But that was tomorrow's problem. And after that they had all the time in the world.

Just the two of them.

#whump writing #werewolf whumpee #demon whumper #creepy whumper #obedient whumpee #conditioning whump #Lament (Puppeteer)

[scarsmood]

Stockholm syndrome

Tw: physical, verbal, emotional abuse

I feel like the term stockholm syndrome is often misunderstood or not represented well in media. Some similar terms to stockholm syndrome are battered wife syndrome and betrayal bonding.

In the book The Betrayal Bond breaking free of explotive relationships by Patrick J. Carnes. Betrayal bonds are defined as a self abandonment, when you go through a betrayal so painful a part of you dies. Yet you can only think about how to survive instead of grieve you abandon yourself unaware. Typically attempts to numbing come first so you can keep your highly addictive attachment. Similar to drug use. These attachments affect your judgements and actions when you try to better yourself it seems to go nowhere. In a frustrating spiral you are set to run in circles. When these tactics fail it’s time to face the truth. That realization may never come for some.

An exploitive relationship is the ground work for a betrayal bond. “These occur when a vicitim bonds with someone who is destructive to him or her. Thus the hostage becomes the champion of the hostage taker, the incest vicitim covers for the parents and the exploited employee fails to expose the wrongdoing of the boss.”

Often what I see in media is a small, sad, scared person visibly beaten as the vicitm in stockholm syndrome. Killing stalking is a great example. Where the victim is seen as voiceless, helpless and completely undone. In some aspects this is true but it isn’t the full picture I would argue. Typically whats more common is two strong people enter into a toxic relationship. The trauma from this relationship lays the ground work for a betrayal bond. The victim is still strong they (from my experience) instead recontextualize their own strength to specifically benefit their abuser. Often slowly over time eroding your own concept of self until what you define as “you” is nothing left but a tool.

“Loyalty to that which does not work, or worse, to a person who is toxic, exploitive or destructive to you, is a form of insanity”

Carnes details what a betrayal bond looks like:

When everyone around you has strong negative reactions, yet you continue covering up, defending or explaining the relationship

When there is a constant pattern of non-performance and yet you continue to believe false promises

When there are repetitive, destructive fights that nobody wins

When others are horrified by something that has happened to you and you are not

When you obsess over showing someone that he or she is wrong about you, your relationship or the person’s treatment of you

When you feel stuck because you know what the other person is doing is destructive but believe you cannot do anything about it

When you feel loyal to someone even though harbor secrets that are damaging to others

When you move closer to someone you know is destructive to you with the desire of converting them to a non-abuser

When someones talents, charisma or contributions cause you to overlook destructive, exploitive or degrading acts

When you cannot detach from someone even though you do not trust, like or care for the person

When you find yourself missing a relationship, even to the point of nostalgia and longing, that was so awful it almost destroyed you

When extraordinary demands are placed upon you to measure up as a way to cover up that you’ve been exploited

When you keep secret someone’s destructive behaviour toward you because of all the good they have done or importance of their position or career

When the history of your relationship is about contracts or promises that have been broken and that you are asked to overlook.

The important part, You will never mend the wound without dealing with the betrayal bond

“Like gravity, you may defy it for a while, but ultimately it will pull you back. You cannot walk away from it. Time will not heal it. Burying yourself in compulsive and addictive behaviours will bring no relief, just more pain. No amount of therapy, long-term or short-term, will help without confronting it.

Your ability to have a spiritual experience will be impaired. Any form of conversation or starting over only postpones the inevitable. And there is no credit for feeling sorry for yourself. You must acknowledge, understand and come to terms with the relationship”

These bonds are at an intensity I don’t think most people fully understand when hearing about stockholm sydrome. What frustrates me when I look at media is how when I see portrayls it never shows the “other” methods of handling stockholm sydrome. The common trope I see is the victim completely succumsbs to the madness and becomes complacent forever. This doesn’t always happen though. If I could guess I’d say this usually never happens.

The issue with this concept is that the victim has given aware their self. Something that is extremely painful and torturous in order to be the person the abuser wants them to be. This makes it sound like one action. In my experience every action was a choice between myself and being a tool. Which makes that portrayal of stockholm syndrome feel wildly inaccurate to me. It isn’t one action and then a whistful sleep in a trance like state.

It is a constant battle between uprooting your own rights morals and actions or fighting for them. In consequence being beaten, abused, killed, drugged, what have you. Every single action is seen as a possible act of defiance. There is no whistful sleep, there is no numbling that can muffle the pain forever. No amount of dissociation can hide what is actually happening. What’s scary is you know it’s happening the entire time. Because your the one making those choices. You watch yourself slowly degrade because you want to be safe.

There is a lot of truth in watching a part of you die with no time to grieve. Grieving would abmit the abandonment of the relationship has taken a toll that the abuse has actually effected you. Instead opting to please the abuser and never coming back to those emotions leaving them in a corner to fester.

It’s not a good idea. Typically what I see the most what I hear from other survivors is what comes next. What the typical end is. Is anger.

When you cant play the game for your abuser anymore. You suddenly want yourself back so strongly you don’t care what the cost is. When you learn enough about your abuser their threats become trivial. Because you learn how to negate them. I distinctly remeber the anger I felt when I “flipped” I woke up suddenly at 3am and looked over to my abuser sleeping at the other end of the bed. Often. I’d sleep at the end of the bed like a dog to stay away from them.

I felt a strong m-shift mixing with all those buried dead emotions bubble up and I realized this was a game I couldn’t win. I attacked him while he was asleep. He had to throw me into a wall to finally stop me. He was shocked. I had never fought that hard, I had never attacked him when he was sleeping, I had never done so many new things all at once it legitimately scared him and his control over me.

I remember passing out from the fight. I never ate I barely had enough energy to stay away and lay on a bed all day. I was starving comstantly. But I wanted that feeling forever. That freedom. That taste of independence. I no longer cared if it killed me. I wanted it. I didn’t care how.

It took a year of violently fighting back. Refusing actions, getting angry at manipulation, constantly putting up a fight for him to give up. Leave. I had done it. I had finally done it. I was free.

I think that catharsis stays with me. But when I read about stockholm syndrome they never portray the victim that leaves. They portray the one that stays. It’s upsetting and insulting. I want to see the victim who kills their abuser, the one that hunts them down and finishes what they started. As so many victims do. Whether thats emotionally or physically. I don’t blame them.

Still the book is right without confrontation things never get settled. The relationship will stay alive as long as its kept alive. Without facing it you are doomed to endlessly run from it. A terrifying prospect. All we can do is free ourselves no matter how long that takes.

Victims aren’t so weak often they’re far smarter than their abuser. Working with what’s available to make ends meet. I’d like to see that representation of the conplacent but planning. The kind until they snap. The silently leaving st the dead of night when they know they can’t be caught. I wish it was more commonly highlighted how intense and courageous these acts are. Escaping death is no easy feat.

#trigger warning #abuse #abuse mention #physical abuse

[ina-nis]

It’s so... pathetic, embarrassing and demoralizing to feel like you’re begging for scraps of attention, affection. From strangers and whatnot.

When you feel so inadequate, so little, so unworthy... and you know this is not true, because you know your worth is not measured by one single aspect of yourself, but a collective of all the things that make you... you. The good and the bad ones.

There is self-love, there is self-care too, but the feeling is different... it’s more in your core, in the essence, it feels like you are inferior. The self-love and care is there to mend superficial wounds, but they can’t reach deep enough, in your bruised ego, in your frail soul, in your broken spirit.

It is possible to heal, obviously. One has to believe it and work hard, and not lose hope, because hope is all what there is oftentimes.

The issue is that this is not an individual fault - no one chooses to be this way. The environment does it, other people too - and if you don’t have the tools and support necessary to overcome the hurdles as they come, then it kickstarts the lifelong process.

The issue, too, is that enough positive situations need to occur, so that one starts building trust, and feeling real safety. In an ideal world, that’s what ought happen. In reality, everything becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And the confirmation biases “help” by making sure the pattern repeats over and over and over again.

It’s a nightmare. And it’s a trap.

Supposedly, you can overcome this on your own (ah, the irony!), and everything is a matter of social anxiety (not always the case) and building social skills (also not always the case).

There’s a big difference between being able to be around people and make conversations, meet peers with similar interests and share experiences. And connect on a deeper level with someone, to feel safe around them and that they feel safe around you, and that you rely on each other. To prioritize that time and energy because you are important, they are important too.

There’s a big difference between making acquaintances and various friends, and having a person to share your secrets, struggles and joy with (be that a close friend, a partner or family). It’s the safety of feeling prioritized, and the safety of consistence, of stability, and of a secure attachment.

How is that even supposed to happen? If you have nothing, you can easily prioritize. Others (normally) have their established relationships and their own priorities - “what’s the problem if people have others in their lives they met first, it’s no one’s fault” there’s just... so many problems with that, and they probably have nothing to do with anyone but a nobody. It worsen the feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, it worsen the rejection sensitivity by a lot.

It’s not only about you, and that’s part of the problem too.

You can choose to go through the motions and eventually become overwhelmed and let the pattern take over, or you can... avoid it altogether and save yourself from more trauma and suffering. In the end, it’s a choice between a rock and a hard place, and you need to be selfless in a way, to not let that get to you or to not blame others - it’s no one’s fault after all - and by being selfless, you end up erasing your existence even more. The torment is neverending.

#avpd #avoidance #avoidant #avoidant personality disorder