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#wow I can't believe I'm on day 40
poisonlove · 5 months
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A macchiato, please | j.o
part 1
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I'm finally home, wrapped in the familiar atmosphere only my apartment can provide. Tex, my affectionate German Shepherd, is my sole company at the moment.
"Hello, sweetheart," I whisper gently, bending down to pet his head as his tail wags happily, displaying pure joy.
"I know... you're hungry," I confirm with a resigned sigh, heading to the kitchen. I open a can of dog food and mix it carefully with the kibbles.
"Enjoy your meal!" I add with a shy smile as Tex starts to happily devour his food.
I toss the keys onto the table.
I was so tired that I decided to skip my usual nightly routine and went straight to bed. I fall onto the soft mattress, exhausted from the long day.
As I turn on my phone, the screen greets me with a notification that seems like a dream.
Jennaortega has started following you.
A thrill of excitement rushes through me.
"I can't believe it," I whisper to myself with a small smile, feeling as if I've won the lottery of luck.
Curious to know more about her, I access her profile, smiling at her beautiful close-up picture. Her bright, happy eyes convey an infectious vitality.
"Wow, 40 million followers," I thought incredulously. It was like stepping into a whole new world, filled with enthusiastic followers.
I smile as I see numerous comments filled with love and support for Jenna, carefully observing her latest post: she was inside a car, wearing headphones. An involuntary sigh escapes my lips; her brown eyes seem to gaze at me as if wanting to read my soul. Her slightly parted lips, her perfectly falling bangs... her posture so natural by the window told a story of freedom and carefreeness.
I follow her back.
With shyness and anxiety, I open the chat and look at Jenna Ortega's profile picture. "You can do this... just say hi," I murmur to myself, trying to muster some courage.
Hello, I hope you enjoyed the place I manage to write, my fingers trembling slightly. I send the message, feeling my heart race. I exit the chat, letting the adrenaline rush through my veins.
I wait anxiously, heart in my mouth, hoping for a response.
The minutes seem endless as the chat remains on standby. Then, suddenly, the phone emits a sound, indicating a new incoming message. The lit screen shows the name Jenna Ortega and a short but kind message: Hi! Yes, I really enjoyed the place, the atmosphere was truly cozy. Thanks!
A spontaneous smile spreads across my face. Is there something you're particularly passionate about? I write, hoping to make the conversation deeper and more interesting.
Jenna's response comes quickly: Mmmh... why this random question?
I nervously bite my lower lip. I don't know, I'd love to know something about you that the internet can't tell me I write honestly.
I involuntarily smile as Jenna puts a heart on my message. "In that case... I love art and culture, so I enjoy visiting museums and art galleries. And also nature, taking long walks in parks."
I feel an immediate connection, as I also loved long walks, especially with Tex, my loyal four-legged companion.
I decide to share this detail:
I also love taking long walks, especially with Tex, my German Shepherd. He's my faithful adventure companion!
Jenna seems to like the bond with the four-legged friend, and the conversation continues on this topic. We've found a common ground that makes the conversation more authentic and enjoyable.
How about we have a call? she suddenly asks.
I feel a thrill of excitement at the opportunity to hear her voice and get to know each other better.
I reply: I'd love to.
A few seconds later, Jenna's profile picture, a white light, appears.
I swallow and, sighing, I accept the call.
"Hey!" My voice trembles slightly, nervous.
Jenna softly laughs, making my heart beat uncontrollably.
"Hello," Jenna responds.
I can sense the smile she's wearing.
"How are you?" I ask and close my eyes at such a basic question.
"Good... just a bit tired," she comments shyly, letting out a small yawn.
My eyes glance at the alarm clock next to my bed, seeing that it's only 10:08 PM.
"Maybe... we talk tomorrow?" I ask worriedly, biting my lower lip.
My heart hammers rapidly in my chest.
"No... I enjoy talking to you," she confesses, and my cheeks flush.
I sigh in relief knowing she couldn't see my blush and smile widely, almost feeling a pain in my cheeks.
"Oh, well... I can say the same," I reply.
Jenna gently laughs, making me smile even more.
"Do you have any interviews tomorrow? Or have the recordings already started?" I ask curiously.
"Mmmh," Jenna murmurs, thoughtful, "I think we're meeting with Tim," she says almost hesitantly.
"Right, it's not certain they're shooting here," I murmur almost sadly.
"I have no idea... but it's very likely," she admits weakly.
An not uncomfortable silence envelops us.
"And tell me... you said you'd be meeting. Who's with you?" I ask with curiosity, clutching the sheets out of nervousness.
"Oh... let me think," Jenna murmurs, "I believe it's Percy and Emma," she admits.
"Emma?" I ask excitedly. "Enid?" I ask with a smile on my face.
"Yes..." she laughs softly at my enthusiasm.
"Do you know I ship them in Wednesday ?" I say excitedly. "Enid and wdenesday are so close and adorable!" I exclaim happily.
Jenna bursts into laughter.
"Maybe it'll be canon... who knows," she says in a sing-song tone.
"Come to think of it..." she begins. "Maybe one day I could introduce you to the cast," she proposes, and I open my mouth in surprise.
"You're not joking... really?" I ask, and she gently laughs at my excitement.
"Seriously, let's say it's a way to pay you back for the coffee," she murmurs, yawning.
My excitement grows as I talk about my passions, the books I love to read, and the places I like to visit in the city. But then, I notice Jenna murmuring timidly, almost incomprehensibly, not responding.
"Jenna, everything okay?" I ask worriedly, sensing something off in the air.
"Mmmh," Jenna responds even more timidly, as if wanting to hide something.
"Did you see the new movie talk to me?" I ask absentmindedly, trying to change the subject and lighten the mood. "It was strange... I feel sorry for the guy, his face got messed up... but the ending... wow," I murmur absentmindedly, hoping to liven up the conversation.
I notice Jenna getting quieter and quieter, and worry grows inside me. "Am I... boring you?" I ask uncertainly, fearing I've made the conversation dull or tiresome for her.
"No," Jenna barely manages to respond, her voice weak and tired.
"I like your voice... keep going..." she affirms with a yawn, trying to encourage me to talk, but it's evident that fatigue is taking over.
Confused, I stutter in my thoughts, "What was I saying?" My mind is a bit foggy, and the fear of having bored her grows.
Jenna's steady breath makes me realize she has fallen asleep. I smile tenderly, knowing it's been a long day for her. Unfortunately, it's clear that tiredness has taken the lead, and I realize it's best to let her rest.
I gaze at the ceiling of my room, smiling.
"Goodnight, Jen," I whisper with a small smile, feeling the breath of the girl on the other end.
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transformation4life · 10 months
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Daddy Growth
"Become a real Daddy in minutes with Daddy Growth! Buy NOW!"
Those were the words that brought Dean to his local supermarket. Dean had been trying to bulk up for ages, but just couldn't no matter how hard he tried. The 22 year old was fresh out of college taking freelancing work in art and making it by but just barely. Dean was desperate for any quick solution to his muscle building problem and this product promised fast results he couldn't have driven faster to the supermarket than he already did.
"Is that all?" The cashier said to Dean as he put the bottle on the conveyor belt"
"Yea- WOAH!" Dean was shocked to see that the cashier was JACKED.
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"Notice the guns? Pretty weird for someone like me to be working here yeah?" The cashier spoke with his deep voice
"Y-Yea.. a little... And how come they let you wear no shirt!" Dean was getting a little bit flustered as his attraction to guys was starting to show.
"Oh believe me, after this stuff came out dress codes got REAL lenient," He points at the bottle of Daddy Growth
"Wow... I didn't even really notice..." Dean twiddled with his thumbs.
"Don't worry about it, bud. Say... random question but are you a parent?"
"W-Wha? No... I'm only 22!" Dean was shocked to get asked that by a random person let alone a buff one.
"I see... yea good luck with that. Here's your bottle. Have a great day!" The man said with a wink giving Dean shivers.
Dean arrived home shortly after with the bottle in hand a little shaken by the whole experience, but was still determined this bottle will be the solution to all his problems. Dean carefully inspected the bottle instructions: Step 1: Open Bottle
Step 2: Drink bottle all at once
Step 3: Enjoy The Muscle!
Warning:sideeffectsmayincluderapidagingrealitychangingsuddenlybecomingaparentofabodybuildingsonlocationchangeandrealitychange
"Seems simple enough. I can't understand the warning though... Oh well!" Dean popped the bottle open and drank the whole thing in one chug.
"Damn... that was actually pretty refreshing... so now what..." Dean pranced around the room expecting something to happen but a couple minutes pass and nothing did.
"Is this a scam? Did i just spend 20 dollars on a drink? Hell why do I always fall for these kind of thi-" A jolt hit Dean as he clenched his head in pain.
Dean's body began to sweat at a rapid rate as his body began to grow. First to grow was his chest as they ballooned up into two massive clashing meat mounds with sweat adorning their surface. Next to change was Dean's stomach as a sexy set of abs popped in with the sweat making them glisten. Soon after Dean's arms became behemoths in size both having large biceps and triceps and... veins with an accompanying back widening and shoulders prop up! That marked the end of Dean's button up as a loud *rip* led the shirt to fall to the floor. As the shirt fell it was beginning to change. The buttons fell off as the sleeves rescinded and the shirts blue became a white with a black rim until it was the perfect bodybuilder tank top. Letter by letter the words "Better Bodies Gym Issues" appeared with the change finished right as it reached Dean's feet.
The top of Dean's body had their fun so it was the lower half was ready to grow with the thighs as thick as chickens and godlike status were already forming on his legs. Dean's feet growing by a couple inches whole too good thing he wasn't wearing any shoes. Unlike his shirt dean's bottoms held on pretty tightly before becoming elastic and breathable shorts as a direct cut sliced his pants right above his now thick knees as the rough material became more free. The leftover material wrapped around his feet becoming a nice pair of blue and black shoes with the laces tied tightly. Everything about Dean had changed besides his head, but not for long.
The main change began as Dean's body began to age. Wrinkles forming in the face and general gruffness that definitely didn't suit the 22 year old as he became someone in their late 40's as derek gained some stubble and his hair flattened and became slicked to the side with some gray hairs here and there as well. Dean couldn't speak through the whole ordeal as the pain in his body was too much, but it was finally over... right? WRONG
Dean's room morphed into a busy gym in a flash as the pain subsided little by little. Dean was able to snap back to reality as he now realized he wasn't in his room anymore and he was sweating like a bullet... on a workout bench? Dean couldn't even speak as a gold necklace with a cross wrapped itself around Dean's thick neck signifying the end of the changes.
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"W-What... happened... to..." Dean couldn't process what just happened. How did he get at the gym and why did he feel sweaty.
Just then he felt something move. It was his new pecs... bouncing.
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Dean looked down to see his new BIG and MEATY body in complete dumbfoundery. The drink actually worked. He became a "daddy"! Dean immediately stood up and flexed to the nearby mirror.
Dean looked great and he KNEW it. He did every bodybuilder thing under the book. Flexing, pec bouncing, and touching his muscles. the works and Dean loved every second of it. He felt like a new man!
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The fun had to end though when someone walked up to Dean with a look that definitely wasn't friendly.
"Dean. What are you doing here?" It was a sterner older man not dissimilar to one Dean met at the store.
Dean wasn't sure what to say and just looked at the guy and spoke nothing.
"That's all you got to say to me? Your SON has been looking for you!" Wait... Son? Dean didn't have a son, let alone sex! How did he-
"Not to be rude sir, but I don't have a son I just drank this potion and-"
"Don't sir me, young man! I am your TRAINER. Now take off your tank top that shit is too sweaty to show your son!"
Dean not wanting to be rude to his "Trainer" reluctantly removed the tank top in order to satisfy him.
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"Now put this on!" The trainer holding a tank with the word Evogen surrounded by stars.
Dean put it on and when he put it on he felt... comfortable in it. Almost like he's been wearing it for the past ten years. Like he...
Suddenly a whole slew of memories came flooding into Dean. Firstly being the 20+ years of life now under his belt, his years bodybuilding, and of course his son. Daniel. Dean always loved how the rascal took after him ever since he was young.
"Wait... no I don't-" Dean fought against the memories but when he saw the spitting image of his son in his mind dancing just like how Dean remembered he would, he felt at ease he somehow helped brought someone into this world.
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Xander was a lot like his father. A bodybuilder and knew when to have fun. Dean was proud of him more than any father could ask for.
"Feel better now?" The trainer he now remembered as his longtime friend Ron.
"I'd say... yeah," Dean giving his pecs a firm lift.
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And right on cue came Dean's just as big son.
"Hey pops," Xander was sweating from presumably a workout.
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"Son! Good to see you! How's... Maria?" Dean randomly blurted out the name, but somehow knew it was related to his son.
"Oh, she's doing great! I'm so glad you were so accepting me being straight dad, you know how you can be sometimes?
"Know how I can be sometimes? What do you mean oh son of mine?" Dean said in a cocky manner before getting into a dance.
"That's what I mean dad! Anyways... ready to workout?" Dean almost already forgot he was supposed to be working out with his son.
Wait... what just happened? How did this all happen? Dean didn't realize that none of this was normal. First he become buff and older and not to mention has a child??? That's not normal in the slightest. Even with the new memories he still he had his old ones, the ones where he was skinny and scrawny and lived in a shoddy apartment, but he also had the memories of his kid and living in a big house. The mix of memories was getting to his head, and yet when he saw his new life and now body... he was fine with this. All this. He's never been a parent, but it won't hurt to try! And this BIG body is a huge bonus Dean can't complain at all. Now the real question is who did he fu-
"Dad? You good? We should head to the machines!" Xander looking at his father with confusion
"Oh! Sorry my boy, just lost in thought. Let's get to work!" Derek gave a confident flex to his son.
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"Well I'll see you two later. Have fun!" Ron promptly left to help out other bodybuilders.
This new life was gonna be a bit hard for Dean to adjust to and Dean knew that and his old life was over but he was ready to start anew in exchange for this sexy body.
And so the new Dean waddled his way to the workout machines with his new son and looked as hot as hell doing it. He was a real Daddy now!
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king-magppi · 1 year
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Yellow Guy's Age
DHMIS Fandom, we need to talk about the infantilization of Yellow Guy. It's Papyrus from Undertale all over again😭😭 seriously. Anyways, I'm tired of seeing a GROWN MAN get depicted as a child by this fandom (I'm not talking about AUs or whatever, I'm talking about in casual fanart and the like). There is plenty of evidence from the show to support that Yellow Guy is, in fact, an adult, and I will list some out for you here:
In episode 1 (Jobs), Yellow Guy falls in love and marries Claire (the wrench person) in the span of the 40 years of working for Peterson's and Son's and Friends Bits and Parts Limited! This would be weird if Yellow Guy had met her as a child and grew up to marry her, wouldn't it? "But all that never even happened!" Yes, it did, because if we're using that logic, nothing from ANY of the other episodes happened because they always end up right back at home with no memory of the day prior regardless! Stay with me here!
In episode 3 (Family), Yellow Guy is seen as old enough by Todney and Lily to be forced into the role of the "Mother" and successfully order the Grolton's Chicken family tub. When the three get home, they proceed to try and open the packet of Chuddle Dollops again. During this scene, Red Guy refers to Yellow Guy as his "brother" rather than a son or any other family member.
In episode 4 (Friendship), it is revealed that Yellow Guy has a maiden name (it's "Rat Eyes" apparently), implying he has been married and/or divorced! Also, this next point might be a stretch which is why it isn't the main one for this bullet, but the first thing Yellow Guy wants to do when they finally get on the computer is "Do Gambling".
In episode 6 (Electricity), Lesley refers to Yellow as "NOT their real son". If they DO in fact happen to be his creator/parental figure, and Roy is his father, then that makes it very well possible that Yellow is at VERY LEAST in his late 20s-30s if Lesley is between 60-70 (the actress that plays Lesley, Vivienne Soan, is 67 years old, so it's safe to assume her character is supposed to be presented as around that age range). Another bit that might be a stretch is that after getting fresh batteries, Yellow Guy is able to do taxes, and even speaks more clearly and "mature" sounding.
Yellow is never referred to as a child by the others and is treated as an equal by all members of the household. They constantly pick on each other and even get in a fistfight at the end of episode 4.
Yellow Guy's voice is deep and does not SOUND like one of a child. If he were supposed to be one, wouldn't they give him a more "childish" voice?
And now I will debunk a few arguments I've seen used against people claiming Yellow Guy being an adult:
"But he dresses in overalls!"
Roy wears overalls too. Does this make him a child? Anyone can wear overalls.
"He's child sized! He MUST be a child!"
Actually, Duck/Green is the smallest one, and they're all puppets. They're gonna be pretty small compared to Red Guy. Also, height =/= age. Remember when the smallest in the house in the Family episode was revealed to be the father? Also, if we're going by height, why isn't Duck considered a child too then?
"He's too stupid/doesn't act like an adult."
We see in episode 6 that the reason he acts the way he does is because his batteries are dying. Also "stupidity" =/= age. Half the time Red Guy and Duck are just as dumb (if not more) than Yellow Guy in their actions So I really don't get why people use this one as an argument. It also feels a bit ableist to consider "not smart" people as children.
Wow. All of this even when I've fully disregarded the Pilot episode (I did this because some of you may consider it "not canon" because it was scrapped) and the webseries. I can't believe I even had to make this post, but it had to be done or else I'd lose my head! Thanks for reading if you made it this far!
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scientia-rex · 9 months
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Medicine is a numbers game. I use probability all the time. If you don't understand probability, you'll look at someone with chest pain and have no fucking clue how likely it is that you're looking at a heart attack. You may not even know what the other top contenders are. GERD is common. Anxiety. An angry rib muscle. Lots of options. Most of the time, most chest pain won't be a heart attack, but sometime it'll be something worse--an aortic dissection that's rupturing will kill you even faster than most heart attacks.
I see so many patients who come in with a symptom that the Internet, whether Google or influencers, has told them is associated with this one thing. It's often the thyroid. And yeah! A fucked-up thyroid can cause all kinds of symptoms. But here's the deal: if I check your thyroid and it looks normal, it's probably not your thyroid that's causing the symptoms. It could be something else we understand. It is very often something we don't understand. But the fact that I can tell you modern medicine doesn't understand some process doesn't mean your naturopath or chiropractor or Certified Hormone Expert Influencer does understand it because they have this different way of looking at the body. Look, long, long before I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to be an herbalist. I'm queer, I'm a woman(ish), I am neurodivergent, I am not The Man. I'm not beholden to the system; the system doesn't care for me and wishes I would sit down and shut up, most days. And I have a background in research science and statistics. I used to have a rubber stamp that said "Denied" and one that said "Approved" and I'd hit piles of paper for research applications at an R-1 university, in triplicate, with my stamps, because I understood research well enough to get a Human Subjects Division job evaluating it. If a naturopathic approach to thyroid worked well, I would be doing it. I'm a utilitarian. I don't give a rat's ass about the theoretical underpinnings of modern medical practice, I want things to work. Ideally I would like to know why they work, too, but hey, we can't always have it all.
So the dozens of patients I get every month who are looking elsewhere for answers, looking to people who don't actually know any better but are good at pretending they do, who pay money for elaborate supplement regimens or unvalidated genetic tests or (my personal least favorite) "memory-improving games," I have to be calm and professional and diplomatic about what I say. I can't say, "That's quack shit." I can't say, "Your favorite influencer is a liar and an idiot." Not just because I'd get lower patient satisfaction scores, but because patients wouldn't believe me, and they would reactively like me less and the other guy more. (You're calling me stupid? You're saying I wasted money? If I believe you're just a shill for Big Pharma, that hurts less.)
It takes years, even decades, to understand how to put together the probability maps. Chest pain in a patient under 40? Highly unlikely to be a myocardial infarction, but not totally impossible, especially if they've been doing cocaine. In a patient over 60? Much more likely. Is the pain crushing? Is it sub-sternal? How long has it been going on? Is it constant, or intermittent? Does the patient smoke? What other health conditions does the patient have? These are all deeply important questions, and I remember feeling overwhelmed by things like this all the time in medical school. It's taken so long to build my knowledge, and my background in research is only tangentially valuable most of the time.
Please don't believe authority just because it looks good. Don't trust people because you want to trust them. Learn about the scientific process, learn how the sausage gets made, and then you'll be in an infinitely better position to know whether this is a "wow! science!!!" or a "wow! science bullshit!" moment.
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smolgloves · 2 years
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I made a 100 sentence starter prompt list. Do it if you want!
1). "Hey, is something wrong with your arm?"
2). "Ow! Ow! You need to let me go, or else you're going to break something!"
3). "Either you let them go now, or something bad is going to happen!"
4). "Come now child, you will wear yourself out."
5). "You possess a lot of power for someone as small as yourself."
6). "I don't get it, you should have grown back to normal!"
7). "Your kind has took everything from me, why would I ever trust you?!"
8). "Why... did you save me?"
9). "You're exhausted, you need to rest."
10). "I wish others saw you as an actual person."
11). "No one will ever listen to me at this size."
12). "Here let me help, last thing we need is for that wound to get infected."
13). "You're really not scared of me being big?"
14). "Legend says: fairy wings can grant you wishes."
15). "Come on, let them be! It's not like they stole a lot of food at their size!"
16). "Listen, if you don't calm down, we're all going to be doomed!"
17). "You've been running for so long, fighting everyday to survive, I think it's finally time you rest."
18). "I can help you get back to your world if you just trust me."
19). "There has to be a way to lift this curse!"
20). "Since when could you change your size?!"
21). "Please, you're the only one who can help me!"
22). "You don't need to hide from me."
23). "If only I could protect you."
24). "This isn't right, we can never be together!"
25). "It's not every day a tiny person lands in your food."
26). "Listen, I may be good but the rest of my kind is not, if they see you... you're dead!"
27). "You could destroy an entire city... but you didn't."
28). "My mother used to tell me horrible stories about giants."
29). "Just let me go, and I'll never steal from you again!"
30). "Here, stay close to me."
31). "Geez, your skin is like ice!"
32). "I must be drunk if I'm seeing tiny people."
33). "Humans wander in this world and never get back to theirs."
34). "If only I could be your size for once!"
35). "You're treating me like a pet!"
36). "Don't you even think about putting me in that cage!"
36). "Careful, they bite!"
37). "Oh god, I almost crushed you!"
38). "You're adorable!"
39). "I'm gonna have to put you in my pocket."
40). "Please don't pick me up."
41). "Honestly, I don't blame you for being scared of me."
42). "You can't tell anyone else about me!"
43). "Just because I'm small, doesn't mean I'm fragile!"
44). "Wow, who knew cats could be so terrifying at this size!"
45). "Where are you from exactly?"
46). "There's no time to explain, get in the pocket!"
47). "You'll be safe here."
48). "I'm sorry for shoving you in my pocket."
49). "Can you move this boulder?"
50). "You're small enough to fit in there."
51). "You can stay here until the blizzard blows over."
52). "Where can we find a shelter to fit someone of my size?!"
53). "That bird would have swooped down and got me if you hadn't saved me!"
54). "You're not mad that I snuck into your house?"
55). "Oh thank God, I thought rats invaded my kitchen!"
56). "If you ever compare them to vermin again, I'll beat the shit outta you!"
57). "I'm not letting you leave."
58). "You look like you're about to pass out."
59). "I can't believe I'm stuck here at this size!"
60). "Can we meet again?"
61). "I don't care how small you think you are, you made the biggest impact on my life."
62). "I guess you're not comfortable with me eating around you."
63). "Sounds more like stealing rather than borrowing to me."
64). "You don't have to be scared of me."
65). "Hey, look at me, you're going to be okay!"
66). "Stay with me!"
67). "I can't help you if you won't tell me the full story."
68). "There's more of you, isn't there?"
69). "You didn't deserve that."
70). "Don't worry, there's no one left who will miss me."
71). "You were born like this?"
72). "You can crash here if you want."
73). "Are you crazy? You nearly fell!"
74). "You've been terrorizing this town?"
75). "Let me give you a hand."
76). "You ripped my favorite jacket!"
77). "You need to eat something."
78). "So you're the mortal who summoned me?"
79). "If you weren't a good person, I wouldn't have trusted you."
80). "Hold tight, we're getting you out of here!"
81). "I thought I could trust you!"
82). "You know I trust you, right?"
83). "You're lucky, I was there to save you!"
84). "I'm scared of heights!"
85). "Will your wing be okay?"
86). "If you do that, you'll be small forever!"
87). "Finally, you're awake."
88). "Keep me safe."
89). "I'm doing this to protect you."
90). "How can someone as small as you survive out here?"
91). "I never meant to scare you."
92). "Can you give me a hand?"
93). "I can't believe I'm living a fairytale!"
94). "I'm not going to force you to stay here."
95). "You've done enough damage!"
96). "Get me out of this jar now!"
97). "It's okay, I'm used to being called worse things by your kind."
98). "I'll carry you where ever you need to go."
99). "I'm putting my life in your hands."
100). "Do you see me as an equal?"
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saltygilmores · 8 months
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Super Duper Old Interview With Milo Ventimiglia #5
May 14, 2002
AOLiveMC6: Evening. Tonight we welcome 'Gilmore Girls' star Milo Ventimiglia to the stage. Hey, Milo.
Milo Ventimiglia: How's it going, everyone?
AOLiveMC6: Let's go right into the questions.
Question: Will Jess finally get Rory's attention?
Milo Ventimiglia: I think he has had her attention since the second she met him.
Question: Hey, Milo, I'd just like to say that I think you're great on 'Gilmore Girls.' How did you start your acting career?
Milo Ventimiglia: Thank you very much. First of all, I got into the business by luck. I knew I wanted to do it as I was growing up; I didn't know how. One day my mom introduced me to an old friend who was a photographer. She ended up taking my picture and showing it to an agent. Then I just started auditioning and then just got a job. That is it.
Question: What do you think are Jess's finer qualities?
Milo Ventimiglia: His intelligence. Wow, that is probably his finest quality -- the most enduring quality about him. He has a lot of emotions going on inside of himself that he hasn't played out.
Question: How tall are you? And the rest of the cast from GG? You guys all seem to be a very tall bunch! =)
Milo Ventimiglia: I don't know. I am 5'9". And Alexis, I believe, is 5'7". Lauren is about 5'9". Jared Padalecki is about 6'4" -- he is a big kid!
Question: What is the most interesting part you have played in a movie?
Milo Ventimiglia: The clean-cut, college-bound, quasi-alcoholic in a movie that probably no one will ever see called 'Masshole.'
AOLiveMC6: I'm sure your fans will find it, Milo.
Question: Do you have an official Web site where we can learn more about the real Milo?
Milo Ventimiglia: There are two or three that I know of. One is called Milo Online. I don't even know how to access it. Just type my full name, and you will find it. Then Yahoo has one I can't even say out loud. It is embarrassing! It is flattering, but I don't quite understand!
AOLiveMC6: Again, your fans will find it, LOL.
Question: How do you and Rory get along offstage? Are there any hints to what's coming next in 'Gilmore Girls'?
Milo Ventimiglia: Alexis and I are friends, and we get along pretty good. We have fun on the set and hang out after the set. As for what is going to happen next season, I don't know anything.
Question: What was your home life like, growing up?
Milo Ventimiglia: Came from a very loving family. My mom and my dad and my two older sisters were very supportive. Went to public school, played sports and had a pretty average upbringing.
Question: Hey, Milo! How have you been? What have you been up to lately? Have you seen any of the cast since you finished filming? Thanks!
Milo Ventimiglia: That is a long one! I have been tired and sore. I just bought a house, and I am redoing the entire thing! I've seen Jared, Alexis, Lauren, Melissa -- pretty much everyone. Everyone is doing pretty good.
Question: First off, I just wanna say I think you're totally hot, but anyway, my questions are: Do you have a girlfriend, and what qualities do you look for in a girl?
Milo Ventimiglia: Thank you very much. No, I do not have a girlfriend. I look for a lot of things -- intelligence, kindness, compassion, honesty, someone who is goofy. I am kind of a dork myself!
AOLiveMC6: Going back to the house for a second, how old is it, and is it fun renovating it?
Milo Ventimiglia: It is 40 years old, and yes, it is fun but a lot of work!
AOLiveMC6: And following up on the girlfriend question, with summer coming up, can you tell us about your first summer love?
Milo Ventimiglia: My very first of all time?
AOLiveMC6: Sure.
Milo Ventimiglia: I think I was probably about 4 years old. She was wearing a striped bathing suit. I really can't think of my first summer love! I am sure it happened, I just cannot think of it!
Question: Who is the funniest person on the 'Gilmore Girls' set?
Milo Ventimiglia: I have to say Sean Dunn. I don't know if anyone was watching last week when they did a film by Kirk. He is just a naturally funny-type person.
Question: Hey, Milo. What is your absolute fave part about being on 'Gilmore Girls'?
Milo Ventimiglia: The people I get to work with -- the writers, the actors, the crew. They are all incredibly talented.
Question: Hey, Milo. I read that your mom loved 'Gilmore Girls' even before you were on it. What did she think when you got the part as Jess? Do you tell her what is going to happen, or does she have to wait until it airs?
Milo Ventimiglia: She freaked out when I told her I got the part. I did it very nonchalant. I knew she watched the show. I told her I had an audition and that it went well and that they offered me a two-year contract. I usually like my mom to read the work that I am doing, but sometimes I will hold back so it doesn't spoil it for her.
Question: Are you really a bad boy or just on the show?
Milo Ventimiglia: Well, I guess I wouldn't be able to pull it off on the show if I wasn't a little bit of a bad boy. I have it inside of me, but for the most part, I am a nice person.
Question: Do you ever watch episodes of 'Gilmore Girls'?
Milo Ventimiglia: Yes, I do! I enjoy the show. I like to see how it will turn out. I like watching my peers and how the job works out. So it is fun for me to watch the show. I also watch it to criticize myself.
AOLiveMC6: You told us how your mom reacted, but how did you react when you got the part?
Milo Ventimiglia: Very calmly. I was excited about the job. I had known about the role, but hadn't known about the character -- they hadn't written him yet. So I did not know what to expect. But when I read the first script, I was excited.
Question: Where do they tape 'Gilmore Girls'?
Milo Ventimiglia: In Burbank at Warner Bros. Studios. Actually, I take that back. It is at Stars Hollow, Conn.!
Question: Milo, I was just wandering, what nationality are you? Is Ventimiglia Spanish?
Milo Ventimiglia: No. My father is 100 percent Sicilian, and my mother English/Irish/Scottish/French/Cherokee Indian and Indian from India. And she has blonde hair, blue eyes.
AOLiveMC6: Quite the mix. Did you get the Irish temper? LOL.
Milo Ventimiglia: No, not the Irish -- the Italian one. The Italian one is a bit more passionate!
Question: You do a great job of playing Jess. If given the chance, would you want to switch characters and play Dean instead? Personally, I don't like Dean, but I love Jess!
Milo Ventimiglia: Thank you very much. No, I like my character. Nothing against Dean, but I like my character.
Question: Do you have time to have a social life, or acting takes up too much time?
Milo Ventimiglia: When we are working on the show, I don't have much time for friends. I try to see my family at least once a week, if I can. But when we are on break, like we are now, that is when I do my catching up.
AOLiveMC6: We have time for one more question this evening, and here it is...
Question: Boxers or briefs?
Milo Ventimiglia: Neither! ::laughing:: If I have to change in front of someone, I will usually ask them to step out of the room.
AOLiveMC6: Milo, we'd all like to thank you for joining us this evening. Great chat!
Milo Ventimiglia: Thank you very much, everyone!
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artikgato · 4 months
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12/13/2023 at 1:44pm: I finally finished Practice Makes Perfect. Barring some editing of the final two chapters, it's clocking in at 40 chapters long, 125,788 words. I posted the first chapter on March 23rd of 2016. I don't exactly remember when I first started writing it (I'll take a look at the original wordpad document - this thing predates me using Google Docs to write fic - and see if I can tell when it was first created, once I get back to my computer. But going by the first post date for chapter one, if I'm doing my math right, that's 7 years, 8 months and 20 days that it took me to write this story. A heck of a lot has happened in 7 years, 8 months and 20 days. I took a lot of hiatuses. I never knew where this story was going to end up. I can't wait to share the last two chapters; I'm almost tempted to just post them both right away, but I'm also equally tempted to make it so that chapter 40 goes up on December 23rd.
Practice has the highest wordcount of anything I've ever written (and published, anyway). It's certainly the fic that has taken me the longest to write and finish, but not the story I've taken the longest to write. It's definitely my most famous slash infamous fic with the most number of comments out of anything I've ever posted. It's been in the back of my mind this whole time. I can't believe I'm finally done with it. It really feels like a chapter of my life is closing. What a crazy ride its been.
If anybody follows/followed me here on Tumblr because of this fic - wow, thank you for sticking it out with me. I'm sure I'll have another post once I finally have the whole thing up on A03.
It feels good to be done. Now, to get back to that novel that I've been writing since 2014.
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nintendofuck · 3 months
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Ok holy fuck, i never really make personal posts on here but I saw the Sonic Symphony in Seatle on friday and it was truly one of the best nights of my life. It was pure autistic joy. I'm a sonic the hedgehog autistic for as long as i can remember and seeing crush 40 has always been a dream of mine. I have a tattoo of adventure 2 soap shoes Sonic playing the iconic black crush 40 sonic guitar.
My show had Jun Senoue as a guest (he is not doing the whole tour, and Johnny Gioeli was only at select shows ((not mine)), he was doing autographs in the lobby before the show and I met him a got a picture. He was super cool and nice! I showed him my tattoo and he said it was awesome and took a pic on his phone. This happened 2 days ago and I still can't believe I got to meet him, I am fangirling so much
And wow, the show was INCREDIBLE. The symphony was beautiful and the rock show half of the show was phenomenal. The setlist had BANGERS, every single song made me grin from ear to ear and when the rock show part started the venue roared, EVERYONE was singing. Also Jun actually playing the fucking crush 40 guitar solos in front of my eyes was amazing.
I just can't stop thinking about it all. If you have a show playing somewhat close to you and you like Sonic you should absolutely go. One of the coolest things I've ever done.
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doevademe · 1 year
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PROMPT. Emmy's friends crushing on dilf Percy cause ofc he doesn't look his age and is too charming and clueless for his own good as usual. 😂
P.s when i propose this I do it out of hilarity I understand if you find the promt unsettling.
"Dad, I'm home!" Emilia called. Behind her were her friends Erica, Mark and Jules.
"Hey sweety, did you end up bringing your friends?" Her dad asked from the kitchen.
Emilia sighed.
"Yeah I did... are you cooking?" She asked, halfway between curious and aprehensive. She wasn't offering her friends buttered noodles or omelettes for dinner.
If Asher wasn't on his stupid school excursion and their papa away on a mission, it wouldn't need to come to this.
"Nah, just looking for a snack in the fridge," he said, closing the door to the fridge. "I'll order some Thai for all of us later."
Her friends peeked curiously. It was the first time they came to her house.
She heard Jules gasp as they stared at the kitchen. Emilia looked back, only to see her three friends staring at her dad.
"Oh, hey there!" Her dad greeted, giving that smile that always seemed a bit too friendly to Emilia. "You must be Emmy's friends. Erica, Jules and... wow Mark, you've grown since I last saw you!"
Mark blushed and looked down giving a 'meep'.
Emilia's eyes widened.
"Nice to meet you too, Mr di Angelo-Jackson," Erica said, smiling timidly.
Erica. The girl who once punched someone for embarrassing her crush. Acting demure and shy.
"Just Jackson, actually." Percy laughed. "But Percy is also fine."
"Papa is Italian," she explained quickly before they got the wrong idea. "Italians don't take their spouses' last names."
"And he wouldn't let me either," Percy said, grinning.
"But... your last name is hyphenated, Emilia," Jules pointed out.
"Because I'm the daughter of both of them," she explained. "Now, let's go, we need to start that group project!"
She practically shoved them towards her room, while her dad, oblivious as always just waved at them.
"Good luck!" He called, and Emilia swore she heard her friends swoon.
"What the hell?" She asked once the door was closed.
"Mark, why didn't you tell us Emilia's dad was hot?" Erica demanded, grabiing Mark by his shoulders.
"I last saw him when I was like 7! I wasn't paying attention to boys at that age, much less men!" Mark said, defending himself.
"And what a man!" Jules gushed, hugging one of Emilia's pillows against their chest.
Emilia felt like she was going to puke.
"Ew, guys! You're talking about my dad!" She said, glad her papa had soundproffed her room. "My happily married dad!"
"Emmy, you know I prefer women," Erica said seriously. "You know that, like, only one in three million men will hold my attention. Well, your dad is one in three million."
Emilia covered her ears and started chanting. She was not going to hear this!
"And you tell me he's over 40?" Jules asked Mark, who nodded. "Wouldn't put him a day past 30!"
"That's still too old for you!" Emilia shouted. "Stop talking about him!"
"So? That we can't touch doesn't mean we can't look," Erica said simply. "And believe me, girl, we're looking."
Emilia had half a mind to fetch her Celestial Bronze short sword and start stabbing her friends. The divine ore would go right through them, but the shock it would cause would be so satisfying!
"Sorry, Emmy," Mark said, noticing her distress. "I... I'll try to stop."
"Why are you bisexual?" She asked, full of dispair. "Why couldn't you be interested in only girls? Or at least girls and boys who aren't my dad!"
"I'm not interested!" Mark said, voice full of indignation. "I just have eyes! And... and your dad is a very attractive man. It's not like I want to date him or anything."
"Yeah, Emmy, none of us want that," Erica said, voice softer. "It's like those models in magazines, we just like looking, right Jules?"
They all turned to look at their friend, who remained oddly quiet.
"Jules?" Mark pressed.
"I mean, if he offered..."
"Jules!" All three of them shouted.
"All right, all right, it's just eye candy!" They held up their hands in surrender. "Better?"
"Not really, but it will have to do." Emilia sighed. She suddenly got an idea. "I need to use the bathroom, can you guys get started with the project?"
"Yeah, don't worry," Erica said, waving her off. Emilia smiled gratefully and discreetly grabbed a drachma from her desk.
----
"Dinner's ready!" Her dad's voice shouted. Emilia smiled and dropped her pen, opening her door.
"Coming!" She said happily. The other's raised an eyebrow, but Emilia just followed her nose.
Right now, it smelled her papa's pomodoro.
"Hello there," her papa said with a halfway amused voice as the other three teenagers stopped dead in their tracks like deer in the headlights. "Percy did tell me we had visits."
"Your papa finished his... errand early," her dad informed her as he hugged his husband from behind. "Isn't that great?"
"Yeah, I was getting tired of takeout," Emilia said as she sat down. She smirked and turned to look at her friends. "Aren't you guys eating?"
The three shook off their surprise and stiffly walked to the table as Mark sat on her right, Erica on her left, and Jules on Mark's right.
"It smells really good," Mark said quietly. Nico hummed.
"Why, thank you," he said courteously. "It's an old family recipe."
They all ate in silence as Emilia watched her dad obssess over her papa's wellbeing like he always did after one of his missions.
Usually, her papa would just shake him off, but considering the situation, he was for once letting him touch and kiss him all over.
"A sandwich sounds really good right now..." Jules muttered. Emilia whipped her head at them, glaring.
"What?" she said dangerously. Jules gulped.
"Y-you know, for the meatballs!" They said nervously. "These things are delish, Mr. di Angelo!"
Nico laughed, and Emilia watched in horror as her three friends all hung up on the sound.
"I think we have some ciabatta, if you'd like," he offered. "Percy, be a dear and bring it."
Her dad smiled. He kissed him on the cheek.
"Sure thing, Ni!"
"Two, two in three million," Erica whispered.
Mark shook his head frantically to reassure Emilia, but she could see he was blushing again.
Her papa went back to his meatballs.
Why were both of her parents oblivious idiots?!
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rebelrobin86 · 5 months
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8. Uncanny & 9. Free Day & 10. Modern AU
8. Uncanny (Nancy)
(Ronance AU Part 1/3 - Inspired by Totally Killer)
Nancy went with Robin to the local Hawkins fun fair.
Nancy and Robin were about to go in the photobooth, when they saw a tall blonde girl in colorful clothing leave the attraction, looking very thrown.
"Don't go in there!" The girl warned.
"Why?" Nancy questioned.
"You look really familiar." Robin stared at the girl. "Are we related or something, or are you me from the future?"
Nancy noticed the uncanny resemblance between Robin and this stranger, who looked near identical to her.
"I don't know, maybe." The girl looked around at the strange new place. "I'm Eleanor Levetan, what year is this?"
"1986." Nancy answered, wondering why Eleanor looked so shocked, at what felt obvious.
"Maybe you really are from the future." Robin gasped. "I'm Robin, Robin Buckley. I don't understand how we look so alike and not related. I thought this would be some Back To The Future moment."
"I don't understand, I need to get back to my time." Eleanor sighed. "I have an internship in Hawkins in my time."
"What exactly is your time?" Robin asked.
"2022." Eleanor replied, Nancy and Robin were shocked by this.
"2022?! Wow I have so many questions, or is it better not to ask?" Robin wondered out loud. "Knowing about the future, might create problems in this timeline."
"Why can't you go back in the photobooth and go back to 2022? Is the photobooth broken?" Nancy asked, wanting to help.
"Yeah and there's a scary masked serial killer on the loose, like that movie Scream. I thought they might've chased me here." Eleanor replied. "Oh you don't have Scream yet, you'll love those movies."
"I'm so sorry this happened to you Eleanor." Nancy said sympathetically. "Let's sit and we can come up with a plan from there."
9. Free Day (Robin)
(Ronance AU Part 2/3 - Inspired by Totally Killer)
Robin couldn't believe they'd just met their own doppleganger.
While sitting on a bench with Nancy and Eleanor, discussing the plan, Robin couldn't help but admire how cool Eleanor was.
Eleanor had a pin with a lesbian flag on her jacket, that Drea had brought her. Eleanor also had a similar music taste to them, considering there was a near 40 years difference in their timelines.
"I'll go over the plan one more time." Nancy explained. "We'll get the kids help to fix the time machine, then we get Eleanor back safe."
"I can't ask you guys to do that." Eleanor replied worried. "You know there's a killer out for me in 2022?"
"It beats the Upside Down." Robin responded, then saw Nancy give her a look, prompting Robin to change the subject before Eleanor could question it.
"I trust Nancy, she's in charge." Robin smiled and confidently replied. "We've been places you wouldn't believe. We'll come prepared with weapons to defend ourselves against the killer."
"Thank you Robin." Nancy replied.
Nancy saw her younger brother Mike and his friends. Nancy convinced them to help, without following them to the future, by reluctantly agreeing to play D&D with them.
Robin went with Eleanor, as Eleanor introduced herself to the others. Dustin took the lead in attempting to fix the photobooth, fascinated by the time travel. Mike, Will and Lucas also inspected the machine. Eleven tried to help fix the photobooth with her powers.
Once the photobooth was fixed. Robin, Nancy and Eleanor thanked the party.
Later that evening, Robin, Nancy and Eleanor went back to the photobooth. Nancy with her gun, Robin with Steve's axe and Eleanor with Steve's bat. They time-travelled to 2022.
10. Modern AU (Nancy)
(Ronance AU Part 3/3 - Inspired by Totally Killer)
Nancy was cautious taking Eleanor back to where she was staying, but felt there was safety in numbers.
"What was your internship, Eleanor?" Nancy asked, still in patrol mode.
"It's for the Hawkins Post. I'm going to be a journalist for their website this summer." Eleanor answered. "It seems really cool, the boss, she said I have great potential."
Nancy was relieved at how much Hawkins Post had changed for the better, since she was an intern. Eleanor had a female boss and a chance to write there.
"I'm happy for you, it sounds so much better now, than it was in 85." Nancy said.
Suddenly, someone in a mask holding a knife, jumped out on Eleanor, before Nancy could finish her thought. Eleanor knocked the killer out and to the ground with the bat, she then took the mask off.
"Vecna!" Nancy screamed and shot him. Robin grabbed matches from their pocket and set Vecna on fire, watching him burn, as Nancy kept shooting Vecna to be sure he's really dead and not coming back.
Another masked killer suddenly grabbed Robin, as Robin attacked them with the axe and screamed. "Watch out, there's another one!!"
"Don't shoot!!" A familiar voice yelled, as he took his mask off. It was an older Will Byers, looking very upset.
"Will?!" All of them asked, shocked and in disbelief, how could Will hurt or even want to hurt anyone?
"I'm so sorry, he possessed me. You have to believe me." Will dropped the mask to the floor and looked at Nancy with tears in his eyes. "Please, I never want to hurt anyone, I just want to go home."
Nancy always trusted Will, his apology and reaction showed he wasn't in control, knowing how easily he'd been manipulated by the Mind Flayer and other creatures of the Upside Down in the past.
"I believe you." Nancy sighed.
"How do you know we can trust him?" Eleanor asked. "He just grabbed Robin and was wearing the mask, he could've killed us or hurt us, or others."
"He's Will Byers." Nancy smiled fondly. "My little brother's best friend, the sweetest boy I've ever known, who loved playing D&D with his friends. That's all I need to know."
Robin agreed with Nancy. "Like I said earlier, Nancy's in charge."
Eleanor still was unconvinced, but went with it. As Nancy and Robin took Eleanor and Will back to their homes, before going back in the photobooth, back home to Hawkins 1986.
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concealeddarkness13 · 9 months
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Wow, I Can't Believe it's Another Story Idea!
I have way too many, but this one feels really promising, lol. And it's a lot of fun as a concept! Tagging: @ratracechronicler, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, and @drabbleitout!
This'll probably be a long one. So, this story happens about 20-40 years before the start of any of my other stories. It follows this one continent on this world (might move to more continents, but right now, just one), and they're in the middle of a war. The Arcadian Empire is totally trying to expand its reaches and pushing into other countries, and the other two main countries are called Terithia and Liliquen. I'll detail these three first and then get into characters and plot.
First, the Arcadian Empire. Honestly, not a terrible place to live. The emperor, Vyxis, gives freedoms and protected leave and breaks and living wages to his citizens. He's learned from his father--who was killed by his overworked and starving citizens--to give the citizens good living conditions and make them happy. However, he is ruthless when someone acts out against the empire, and anyone with very powerful magic is taken to be used as a weapon for the empire.
Terithia is more lenient on citizens, barely seeming to have a presence in their lives. They generally worry more about the local governments than the national government. At least, in most things. The government is initiating a program to rid every citizen of their magic and even extend that beyond their boarders. The leader believes that magic is the root of everyone's problems, and since everyone on this world has some kind of magic, everyone should be purged of magic. There are ample underground areas for refugees from other places to hide out in and also not get purged, but those places are starting to get more crowded and in danger of being found because of that.
Liliquen has a great emphasis on the arts. Every city will be filled with art and singing and dancing wherever you look. It's as if they aren't at war. Which, for the citizens, it's as if they aren't. The queen, Requiem, and her sister, Soliloquy, have unique magic. Requiem can reanimate the dead, and Soliloquy can move someone's soul into another object. They ran a campaign to have their citizens die for them so they could take their souls and put them into androids and have an undead army! And it worked well for a while, totally not sketchy at all. But now, after a few years, the androids are rejecting the souls, which means the souls are getting destroyed, and the androids are growing souls of their own. Which is a problem. That Requiem and Soliloquy are pretending is not happening.
So, those are the countries! I will go into the plot first to try and explain what this story is about. I'm going to try to make a story where a lot of the characters are morally gray and readers root for them anyway, and we'll see how I do!
So, plot! Basically, Fate is one of the Variants of the universe. And it controls the fate of the different worlds. It makes sure those worlds stay on their chosen paths and will correct if any of them try to get off course.
About 20 years before the start of this story, the strings of fate were somehow cut from this world, causing a major change in the story initially and the world veering off the course Fate had for it. Basically, in one day, a lot of the young heirs' parents were going to die in a tragic accident, but that didn't happen, so the parents lived! Reverse protagonist backstorying! And that changed these heirs in small but important ways. Which I'll detail the ways it changed one of the heirs when I talk about the character.
So that happened, and Fate came to fix it back on course. It made a follower on this world, and that follower has the power to move in the world and infect others to make them into Fate's puppets. Which means that they'll feel compelled to do what is supposed to happen in the story. Which sucks because I think this whole story ends with either the planet getting taken over by Polaris and used by them or it ends with the planet getting destroyed. So, no one should particularly want that.
So, basically, the story is gonna be fighting against Fate and choosing the future on their own terms. There are gonna be a lot of characters, but I don't know all of them yet. I'll detail the ones I know.
Vyxis! My boy, Vyxis. I adore him, even though he is a piece of shit. He's the emperor, and he is also a trans man! We'll get back to that soon. So, he actually knows about all this Fate stuff and is the one specifically fighting against Fate. Because in the Fated story, he dies alone and humiliated, and he wants to win. He's totally not doing this because of any good intentions. Really, he just wants to win. I'm thinking he has magic that gives him a cool monstrous form that does something cool, but he has to feed on magic when in that form. Because of the strings of fate getting cut, his mother survived, and he didn't grow so isolated and unwilling to tell anyone anything, so he actually admits to his family and closest friend that he's a trans man, and because of magic, he transitioned quickly and is a lot happier like this (in the Fated story, he never transitioned or told anyone he was a trans man). He has a wife named Ishnir that he trusts with his life, and he honestly only truly loves her. Everyone else is more of a pawn to him. He's cold and calculating, doing things only for his benefit, and in most any other story, he would be the villain, but because of a shared enemy in Fate, he has to join with the other more moral characters, but he'll endlessly complain about it.
Ishnir is Vyxis's second in command and his wife. They both know it was a marriage of convenience, but they do both care about each other. I'm toying with the idea of Ishnir being bisexual and aromantic, but I do need to do more research before I can say for sure. She takes care of the day to day issues that pop up in the war and in the empire. She's blunt and pragmatic, never really letting down her walls except when she's alone with Vyxis. She has magic that allows her to create snakes made of shadow, and those snakes can have venom that can kill someone in seconds, if she so wishes for them to. She loves her snakes too and usually keeps one around (which she has named Cici), and she loves wrapping around her shoulders. In the Fated story, Ishnir is supposed to be the last one to betray Vyxis, leaving him entirely alone and desperate, but in this timeline, they actually have opened up to each other, so there is no way that will happen this time. Unless she gets infected to be Fate's puppet...
Espa is the resident Chaotic Gremlin. The first aesthetic I even thought of for them was just a set of vampire fangs. They are actually the one who can see what's fated to happen, and they realized that Vyxis had the highest chance to affect change, so they went to him and gave him the info. They stick around, in the cells because they agree with Vyxis that he can't trust them, and they keep advising him how to keep away from the Fated story. They are also telepathic and potentially also can loop backwards in time, not sure about the latter one yet though. They have a vested interest in this world surviving (because they live on this world), so they're working with Vyxis and Ishnir even if Espa doesn't particularly like them. But maybe Espa will warm up to them eventually. Sarcastic and seemingly having no survival instinct, they banter with Ishnir whenever they see her.
Keir and Arik (both he/him). Since I don't know tons about them, they'll be in this paragraph together. They were soldiers, one fighting for the Arcadian Empire, and the other fighting for Terithia, but they both figured out that both places were terrible, so they defected. And they also fell in love and got married unofficially, since no one would marry two defected soldiers from different countries. They have made it their life missions to fight against Terithia and the Arcadian Empire as best they can while also adopting as many orphans as they can. As luck would have it, they've found some very powerful magic orphans, and they love all of them dearly and want to protect them as best they can. In the Fated story, I think these guys and their kids were the sole protagonists.
Stafri is the oldest orphan Keir and Arik adopted. First, I need to explain that there is one constant in the magic of this world: there will always be four elementals: people who have fire, ice, ground, or storm magic. And lesser naturals, who have aspects of those four magics, but not as powerful and more energy-draining. Of course, the countries all really want to find the four elementals, with the naturals being not as important to them. Stafri is a water natural, which means she can control water and listen to it, but controlling it uses a lot of energy. She has harnessed it well enough to not have to use as much energy, but it's still not ideal. She's very protective of the other orphans and of Arik and Keir, but Arik and Keir don't let her come along on their nightly missions, and she wants to help. She's kind and calm and just wants to fight back against the countries who have hurt her and her friends.
Renfel is one of the oldest orphans. He has magic that basically allows him to voluntarily shapeshift into a huge, bipedal wolf, but when he isn't transformed, he's still as scrawny as when he was first adopted. Because transforming uses a lot of energy. He's nervous and shy, but he also wants to help Keir and Arik with their nightly missions, so he convinces Stafri to help him sneak after them and help them. That's all I know about these two yet, lol.
Chesten was picked up by the Arcadian Empire a few years ago, and he has become a loyal assassin and spy for Ishnir and Vyxis. I think his magic has something to do with shadows, but I don't exactly know it yet. He's serious and always hides behind his mask that covers his mouth and nose. He's especially been tasked with finding the elementals, and he especially wants to find the storm elemental, but he won't tell Ishnir why. It's because...
Kirsa is the storm elemental and also Chesten's twin sister! A few years ago, when they were separated, Kirsa was taken by the heat natural and tortured for some reason, not sure yet, but she has a scar like Zuko's from a burn she got from the heat natural. And a scar on her chest that reads "monster". She was rescued by the lightning natural who is trying to help her from getting enslaved. She's sarcastic and loud and smiles easily, but it never reaches her eyes. She doesn't know Chesten is working for the Arcadian Empire, and she won't be thrilled to find out.
So, these are all the characters I know right now! Besides Requiem and Soliloquy, who I just don't know enough about to have a whole paragraph about, and I do have glimpses of other characters, but not enough to talk about. Thanks so much for reading this! If this happens to sound similar to We Stand United, We Fall Together in some ways, it's because I think I'll absorb that story into this one, maybe making WSUWFT into the template for how the Fated story went. But thank you so much for reading!
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the-offside-rule · 9 months
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Formula One Prompts
Rules
1 - No under 18 drivers!
2 - I would prefer drivers who ARENT married or have kids plz
3 - Drivers included from: F1, F2, F3, Formula Academy, Formula E, Moto GP, Moto 2, Moto 3 and Indycar
4 - Smut is now allowed
5 - 2 requests per person
6 - Lmk if you wanna be tagged when it's posted
7 - Request via private messages or in the asks
Prompts
1) "Was it worth it?"
2) "Catch me!"
3) "His smile gives me butterflies."
4) "You deserve better."
5) "If I could, I'd like to fall in love with you all over again."
6) "I'm not religious but I do think I've just seen an angel."
7) "She is half my soul as the poets say."
8) "That's my legacy. I loved you and was always loved by you."
9) "It will always be you who has my heart."
10) "Can we at least talk about this?"
11) "You're so stupid."
12) "Can you drive?"
13) "I think you do these things just to annoy me.
14) "No, it's too early."
15) "You're a wonderful person, don't ever forget that."
16) "I would do anything for you."
17) "There are plenty of people who love you, I do."
18) "My mum thinks we're dating."
19) "We could watching movies, if one of us didn't always fall asleep."
20) "Suddenly every love song is about you."
21) "I gave you a chance, you fucked it up."
22) "I like how your hand fits in mine."
23) "I can't believe you're actually wearing my jumper."
24) "It's cold, at least wear a jacket."
25) "It isn't a double date, we're both just third wheeling."
26) "You have something on your cheek."
27) "I haven't made a promise in years, but I can promise you this."
28) "Have you been drinking?"
29) "Let me take care of you."
30) "Talk to me about it."
31) "I think i may be falling in love with you."
32) "I could kiss your lips all day."
33) "Hands off."
34) "I'm sorry but I'm done waiting."
35) "Can I convince you to stay?"
36) "We have to be quiet."
37) "We can't do that here."
38) "I'm supposed to be making you feel good."
39) "Like what you see?"
40) "Ah, ah, ah, no touching."
41) "Do that thing I like"
42) "Come here."
43) "Leave me alone."
44) "Give me another chance."
45) "I don't love you anymore."
46) "In the driver room?"
47) "Wow, you look amazing."
48) "I love our cuddles."
49) "Stay here tonight."
50) "I can't keep kissing strangers and pretending they're you."
51) "Can I wear your helmet?"
52) "You looked great out there today."
53) "Well that was stupid.
54) "You got a fucking podium!"
55) "What kind of a stupid fucking move was that?"
56) "No matter what team you go to, I will always support you."
57) "I am loving the helmet hair."
58) "I would hug you but that race suit is practically stuck to you right now."
59) "Is he alright?"
60) "You need to learn your limits."
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cisthehuman · 3 months
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2024--Wow it's in 2 days!
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It's been a wild ride both personally and stream wise!
What Went Down in 2023:
Graduated w/ my Masters, and with that paid my way through grad school
Got diagnosed with PCOS and began treatment!
Got a part time job in my field!
Rebranded and started streaming again!
Started the CisLunar Visual Novel
Started a new music youtube!
(Please check it out! I put all of my tunes on there!)
What to look forward to in 2024!
I have major goals/projects I want to accomplish!
Project 1: The CisLunar Visual Novel!
My multimedia project, CisLunar, is one that has been in the works since I first started streaming possibly 2 or 3 years ago. It is only recently that I decided to take streaming seriously so while I've had my account for a while, I feel like I've only gotten in the swing of things earlier in December. Cislunar, a real word, means "between earth and the moon". It was a random word I found out about while I completed a word search on my phone and ever since, a story has been growing. Plus, as I go by Cis, it really fits lol
The crux of the story is about grief--acknowledging it, processing it, and adapting from it. Almost 3 years ago, I suddenly lost my father. I have been riddled with several emotions that I wanted to process and thus this story is born.
The story follows Lunar Sun (she/they), an alien cat woman who lives on Planet GJ504b (the pink planet). She is a radio host by day and a mafia informant by night. While she smiles and laughs, she's been making a dangerous habit, one that leads her to a new up and coming job. Online entertainment is at an all time high with entertainers reaching different people across the galaxy. The trouble is, people would like to keep their anonymity. Thus the now booming job of Mutualistic Parasite is born. Because they have nothing else to lose, Lunar takes the job leading them to Cis the Parasite (she/they). Cis the Parasite is quiet, stoic, and clearly a loner. Lunar believes they can be partners, but doesn't realize they have more in common with the earthling...
Ooooooh So Interesting! So Wonderous! It's So Unfinished LOL
So we have some goals for this year regarding the VisNovel:
Finish the script for the CisLunar Visual Novel!
Finish designing characters for the CisLunar Visual Novel!
Actually learn ren'py programming!
Project 2: Streaming
I started streaming part time on December 6 (I believe lol I'm bad with dates)! It's been so wonderful so far! Thanks to some wonderful artists, things look much shinier and new! Please take a gander at my twitch page (and follow! you know you want to):
twitch_live
I've been having fun playing games and drawing and I can't complain! However, there is one small issue--I don't get many viewers. While it is true that with whatever I make, I don't do things for numbers or follows, it is also true that streaming alone can be quite lonesome (shoutout to calcium for making it when they can and being a trooper in the chat! I genuinely perk up when you pop in because it is not just me anymore LOL).
That being said, I have a couple of goals for streaming this year!
Get 50 followers
Have at least 10 people chatting in chat.
Slowly but surely complete the PC-98 inspiration for my streams (I actually got a head start on this one; already got a new overlay commissioned~)
Learn more things I can do with obs plugins, to help with the PC-98-ification of the streams
Buy a better laptop to stream on (this one is nice and it lagging helps with the old school vibe I'm going for, but I need some better performance!)
And a big far away goal--have a big named vtuber say I'm their fave obscure streamer lolol
Project 3: Music!
Honestly, because of work and at the time how tired I was due to my health, I didn't have enough capacity to put out the big bulk of music I made. I literally have at the least 40 tracks that are just on soundtrap LOL
With that being said, starting in the new year, I plan to finally put this music out there! It needs to be out into the wild! I'm also going to do my best to draw a cover for each album as well (this is where the backlog gets created), but I've allowed myself to be happy with a cool free use image as well lol. With that being said, there are already 5 albums ready to be posted. They just need cover images and they'll be put up!
I'm also close to finishing Vol.3 of Cosmic Canary Radio aka the stream music! Getting close to 50 tracks so it's the biggest one so far. I believe I have 5 tracks left and then I'll be done! Here are some tracks as a preview of what's in Vol.3
(lol not all the bands use caps in their name, that's just a hilarious coincidence for the ones I chose to put here)
For this project, the goals are:
put out finished albums!!!
Put out Vol 3 of Cosmic Canary Radio!
Make a section (or separate tumblr) for the fake bands in this universe!
Project 4: Quasar
This is a very far away project, but I'd like to get much farther on it in hopes of working on it while finishing CisLunar Visual Novel.
Quasar has been in the works for at least 8 years now, but I've finally worked on it in earnest the past two years. It's influenced by shows/movies like Redline, Motorcity, Speedracer (the movie more than the show), etc. It connects with the zeitgeist within CisLunar loosely so unfortunately I need to get CisLunar started before I can start posting some things about it (I might break that rule though).
Goals for this project include:
finish designing characters
finalize how the story will be provided to readers
complete the plot lol
I have some personal goals too, but I won't go into to much depth here. Most of them revolve around my own mental and physical health, and while I said I would be open to a degree about my issues to help convey there is a real life human in reality behind this screen, I'll leave it at I'm gonna learn to live with PCOS and I'm tired of having a mentally sick mind. While this year has been quite positive for me, I also had some major lows that stopped me from doing what I love--creating things.
LOL ALSO--I plan to update this tumblr more! More sketches and designs and me putting my stream schedule on here and stuff! That was a run on sentence but it is to show how much stuff is going to be on here now!
This was an EXTREMELY long post, but I wanted to write out all of my goals. Maybe I'll come back at the end of next year and see how well I did!
Until then, seeeee youuu neext tiiimmeeeeee!
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thegeminisage · 1 year
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ASK MEME
i got tagged by @runawaymarbles, tyvm i lov doing these
What book are you currently reading?
no books atm but i'm actually getting through the entire tag of a rarepair from ff13...only 41 fics :(
What’s your favorite movie you saw in theatres this year?
did i go to a theater this year...? surely at least once. OH YEAH i went to see sonic 2. since that's the only movie i saw in theaters this year that'll be my favorite one
What do you usually wear?
comfy-at-home clothes: tank top, shorts, no-show socks, hair fork, & bandana. out & about clothes: bandana & hair fork if i'm working or my hair needs washing, otherwise i keep it loose. a lot of black pants/shorts and bright glittery monochrome or tye-dye tank tops w/ black or rainbow choker, rainbow earrings, pride bracelet, smiley face ring, rainbow ring, ace ring, and sometimes my triforce necklace. if it's cold i will also wear rainbow arm warmers/socks and fingerless gloves with the pink peace symbols on them. if i'm REALLY dressing up i will wear rainbow tights under a long shirt or short dress. wow sorry this is the longest answer so far i just really love bright fashion!!! i can't believe god nerfed me by making plus sized clothes fucking suck so bad
How tall are you?
5’1 :/
What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?
i think i'm actually a cancer LMFAO. and stuck with this username...idk about any celebrities but my birthday IS on the summer solstice which is absolutely bitchin' in my professional opinion. i could not possibly have asked for a better date although i do wish it didn't have to fall on father's day sometimes
Do you go by your name or a nick-name?
i go by liz which is not my legal first name. technically my legal middle name isn't liz either it's like elizabeth obviously but my first name is cringefail and nobody can spell it OR say it so i just don't tell most people what it is lol. i started going by liz when i was in 8th grade and sometimes my mom STILL messes it up...
Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?
no BUT as a kid i really really really really REALLY wanted pink hair. as an adult no one can stop me. kid me would be so jealous of adult me's look in EVERY way
What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?
good at: dreaming. you know how in the 40s-60s most people dreamed in black and white because that was how tv looked? apparently if you play enough video games you'll get so good at controlling a simulated environment you can simply wake up on command. i never completely mastered lucid dreaming but it's a neat trick anyway. bad at: sleeping. exhibit a: i am answering this meme at 2:30 in the fucking morning, and i have not had 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep since december 10. that's like 28 days!
Dogs or cats?
CATS!!!!!!! i like dogs too tho
What’s something you would like to create stuff for?
i would love to draw some zelda art. i just need a new tablet sadly none of the old ones work with my pc
If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?
UGH i can't post it, it's in the undisclosed project
What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?
so a very long time ago when we were teenagers my brother showed me minecraft. i played half an hour of it and then gave the controller back and told him i couldn't keep going because i would quite literally never put it down if i did. unfortunately i did NOT show that same level of foresight and self-restraint when downloading the demo of SLIME RANCHER. in my defense i was utterly unprepared for its sheer potency. i played exactly four minutes of the demo before i caved and bought it - $5 was a steal - without realizing how absolutely lethal it is to combine adhd with a farming sim especially during seasonal depression months. this thing has been churning out dopamine so fast my stupid little rat brain can't keep up. i'm frying every last pleasure receptor i ever had as thoroughly as i possibly can. i am begging one of you to physically come to my house and uninstall it from my pc.
What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?
andor 🙏 sorry to all andor enjoyers but it fucking sucked (except for the prison break)
What’s a hidden talent of yours?
i'm freakishly good at packing things. items into boxes, boxes into vehicles, organizing drawers and closets, etc. at my house we call it "tetrising" since i guess that's a pro gamer move that translates to the real world..................
Are you religious?
no i am disqualified for being gay <3
What’s something you wish to have at this moment?
a completed copy of this photo album i'm supposed to be making. i got behind bc i was playing slime rancher :(
ok im tagging @slaygentford @maulthots @brownbicon @machidielontheway @paty-ofarrell @ozymandiasdirge @moogleterra @marcelgerard @elsa12tmnt @smellslikebot @youngbenkenobi and anyone else who wants to do it, do it & say i tagged you!!
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berryunho · 7 months
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Just binge-read The Answer in a day and let me say that the plot is fucking insane, how the hell do you people come up with something so intense? Lmao, anyways I love reacting to mc's actions and inner monologue like a bff hearing some tea over a videocall "girl no he stabbed you, dont think about him as a normal person, he isnt one, with him its supposed to be throwing hands on sight for sURVIVAL"
And yet I still managed to get gaslit, girlbossed and gatekept by her relationship with san, tell me why I was here reading chapter 29 and thinking "wow he really is bringing up some red flags now after that fight" and then had to stop myself right there because the very first red flag that man had raised was from the very beginning wheRE HE GREETS HER TO THE CULT *BC HE IS PART OF THE MF CULT*
I CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR IT, WTF
Anyways, can't wait for more, but take your time lol, I am as excited as everyone else but you are doing this for free and with something this good it's honestly such a service, thanks for all the effort <3 hope you're doing well and hope that you keep writing even after or outside of The Answer because you genuinely do such an amazing job building up descriptions and characters, I am very curious about everything we are yet to see, and I did wanna ask, sorry if you have answered this before, but do you already have an ending planned for the story?
- 👁👁
UM ? I LOVE YOU WAIT LET ME PUT THE OTHER MESSAGES UNDER THE READ MORE AND THEN RESPOND LAKDJF;ALKSDFJ
Just wanted to add that not only do I react like a nosy bff in a call with the mc as I read The Answer, but I also judge the absolute hell out of her choices not as in "this is gonna get you killed" but as in "I would 100% be going tinfoil hat in HJ's ass about the other world ages ago for entertainment alone" I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE CMON Mr Cultist wants me to go from city dwelling college student to hillbilly cult wifey in 2 days? HE TAKES AWAY MY PHONE ONLY TO TELL ME HIS BIBLE FANFIC IS BASED OFF THE SHIFTING REALITIES COMMUNITY? THE ONE THAT WAS BIG ON TIKTOK IN 2021? Be fucking for real, I would, on day 1, sit down in front of him and go "already, so whats up with the other you? You two still chat? Also whats up with his version of Hwa? Is he a petty little shit too? Are they in a questionable fwb situationship too? Do you still get prophecies? If so, why are there so many prints of your walmart bible around? Cause that seems like an awful waste when you will inevitably have to print just as many more with the new updates so wtf" He takes away my entertainment when I have the attention span of a 4 year old? Fine, he is gonna have to entertain *me* now to make up for it, bible study time? More like you are now my social media outlet where I'm gonna rant about my crazy theories, my favorite ships and I will overanalyze each and every plot hole in your bible sir, I don't care that its a prophecy, I want consistency from your writing about the other world, I want detailed descriptions, I want to feel like I am there, how do you expect to win New York's best seller with this vague ass paragraph about your little lost boys crew in trenchcoats? I'm gonna annoy him into killing me and realizing I'm not the one, his stalking time all going down the drain. I consider this an absolute win for me.
Okay I'm so sorry for sending another ask when I just sent two humongous ones lol but I did remember one thing I wanted to ask and I hope it doesn't come off wrong bc I mean nothing bad about it at all but back when HJ was all "I'm only gonna do the devils tango with you when you beg me to uwu" and mc thinks "damn, at least my local cult leader got some consent morals going" I couldn't help but stop myself and wonder: girl. He made out with you. In front of at least 40 people. When you were drugged. Clearly tripping. By his orders. And he stabbed you right after but most importantly he has bragged about making out with you IN FRONT OF A CROWD WHEN YOU WERE TRIPPING BY HIS OWN DESIGN And yknow, my question is: was mc's (continuous) lapse in judgment in this moment to blame for her not realizing he in fact does not give a flying fuck about consent and she just let that slide bc the cult mentality was getting to her (which we do see progress over the story, and its been one of the most interesting parts of the fic btw, I think you did really well with that) or did you not mean for it to be that and I read too much into it? Lol because yeah he is a self admitted and apparently diagnosed psycho but you'd think he would see how this morals he just tried to brag and seduce her with are not moralling at all. Or maybe he just hoped she wouldn't realize his delusional-moral compass isn't gonna point correctly no matter what way he tries, I'm definitely thinking too hard about it at this point lmao HE REALLY IS GETTING INTO MY PARANOID BRAIN, THE MIND GAMES ARE CONSUMING ME FR Anyways, again, sorry for the long asks one right after the other, I'll stop pestering now.
I fucking lied, I'm sending another one to ask if you happen to have any fics to recommend that maybe give off The Answer vibes or that you think may be a good read while we are all on standby bc I just got hit by the withdrawals-after-a-good-fic now that I realized I can't keep reading since I got to the last chapter lol. I'm so sorry. - 👁👁
first of all let me say it again: i love you. thank you so much for reading the answer and for being kind and for wanting to tell me and ask me so many things!! i really, really appreciate it and pls dont feel bad for sending me asks (big or small) bc it just makes me SO happy lol i feel bad that you've been waiting for a response for so long but LKJF:KDJF:AKDF I WILL DO MY BEST TO ADDRESS EVERYTHING so here we go:
I did wanna ask, sorry if you have answered this before, but do you already have an ending planned for the story?
hehe no worries at all!! i do have an ending planned and i know how we will get there, but there are certain elements and plot points that aren't solid yet and could be changed!! but i am set on the ending ^^
the entire second ask is just so valid. like tbh i would absolutely be the same. like id be scared af for a few days but once i realized i wasnt gonna like DIE immediately and that i could get away with annoying hj like at least a little bit id be on his ass. honestly and truly the main reason that i havent written more of like... the answer in the story is bc im too concerned that anything i wrote would be torn apart for analysis when i wouldnt actually be reading that far into it LKJA;SKFDJSD bc like you're right anything that hj would be writing would be very pertinent information TO HIM but like... does it actually mean anything... or is it just words... LOL idk if that makes sense but everytime i try to write like in the style of a religious text with the answer lore it sounds so ridiculous i just cannot take myself seriously enough to do it KLAJKS;DFJASKFD BUT HELP YOU POINTING OUT THE SHIFTING LORE? LITERALLY THE EXACT SYSTEM I STOLE THIS LORE FROM I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I STARTED WRITING I WAS JUST LIKE idfk whats something weird that i can connect to the ateez lore that i dont remotely understand AND THATS WHAT I CAME UP WITHALKDSFLA;JDSFJLSKDJ you are real
And yknow, my question is: was mc's (continuous) lapse in judgment in this moment to blame for her not realizing he in fact does not give a flying fuck about consent and she just let that slide bc the cult mentality was getting to her (which we do see progress over the story, and its been one of the most interesting parts of the fic btw, I think you did really well with that) or did you not mean for it to be that and I read too much into it?
eheheeheheheheh i really was waiting for someone to point this one out!!! i definitely meant it to be a lapse in her judgement and like a ...... hmmm idk how to put it like she's selectively forgetting things that don't match with what she WANTS to believe !! like personally i would never in my life write a member of ateez to be a rapist so we obvs won't be worrying about that BUT if this were a real situation, that would probably be a very real fear to have and i figured it would be a good thing to address in case anyone was like. worried about that. LKAJSKFDJASDLFK but yes you're right they're obviously not above MURDER so like. how much credit can we give them. its really just mc wanting desperately to alleviate some of her fear and believe that she is at least a tiny bit safe (even though that is CLEARLY not the case)
if you happen to have any fics to recommend that maybe give off The Answer vibes or that you think may be a good read while we are all on standby
heh this one is tough because ... im not really a fanfic reader LAKJDFKLAJSDFK but my beloved mutuals bee (@atzfilm) and caly (@hongism) are geniuses hehe !! bee writes dark fics that are mwah chefs kiss and caly writes mists of celeste which has a toxic unyielding leader hongjoong. so. you know.
SO YEAH ANYWAYS? THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THESE ASKS AJDKFALSDKFJSKLDJ AND IM SORRY AGAIN THAT IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO REPLY AND THAT THE UPDATE IS ALSO TAKING FOREVER LOL I HOPE YOU'RE STILL AROUND LAKJDFLKSJDF
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awetos · 1 year
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Blog 1.22.23
Game's Devlog update here: https://imgur.com/a/sOHCI3c
I was going to type out my usual thoughts and stuff on the thread, but decided not to, because that's literally what this blog is for. I have no idea why people followed me but hallo. *waves* welcome to my brain dump.
I decided to take meditation much more seriously. I worried about school, work, my game, my habits, etc. and then I thought, I'm ALWAYS going to be worrying about something. If I got into university, I'd worry about my classes and later, getting a job. If I got a job, I'd later worry about keeping it, the responsibilities and deadlines. I'm always going to worry. So I shouldn't place that much importance anymore on those things. I get to decide what I place importance on. I decided it would be meditation. Every day, I will treat meditation religiously. Literally, you must treat it like a religious duty. We can't prove the benefits right away, but meditation helps your life tremendously. It builds up over time - and only if you keep at it. You must have faith in it to keep doing it every day and consistently. I believe it will help me have more focus and optimism. I use mindfulness to combat negative thoughts of giving up or overwhelm for my gamedev.
I've just come to blog that I bumped up the usual 20 minutes 2x a day to trying out for 30 minutes and later, 40 minutes. It made all the difference. I was able to detach from my emotions long enough to do an errand I'd been putting off, and in the evening - wow, that's the one I came to blog about. I truly, truly, began to feel the effects of transcendence when I increased how long I meditated. That's the feeling I was seeking. It's almost like a benign disassociation, or a deliberate one. Anyway, wow. My mind was so quiet, so clear, after that. I had ran, I had taken a cold shower, I had sat still in the dark and on the floor, upright, eyes closed, in the quietness. What an amazing time. I've decided to worship boredom and silence in my household. If you don't have control over your focus and your mind, you don't even have ownership to your life. And in this life, that's all we can really have.
I feel like my brain truly enters another wavelength when I do it, and I remembered I have a Muse headband I can wear next time and see if my brainwaves really change!
I feel so blessed. I have so much of my life I find interesting but I don't think other people are interested in it, so I will just blog about it. Like for example, I think the me of 10 years ago would be in a coma if she found out how decked out my running is now! I decided to try wearing my noise canceling headphones while running and I was in another dimension! So much bliss and joy. I didn't hear my loud treadmill nor did I fear annoying my neighbors with my music! Then I could focus on just running. And 10 years ago, I didn't have a treadmill, I didn't have my own place, I didn't even have the correct athletic attire. I was wearing ill-fitting and shabby clothes. I didn't even have a smartphone to play music on, let alone noise canceling headphones! I didn't the internet speed necessary to stream music! I had the same 7 or 10 songs downloaded on a knock off mp3 player with shitty headphones. I didn't even have an armband to hold it while running outside.
The past me would be deceased knowing how cushy I had it now! Why romanticize the past, when we can see how much has changed for the better? While I feel like when I think so much of this stuff is interesting, it would be narcissistic to bring it up in a conversation, so I can at least talk about it here in a blog for anyone interested - cause, I think it is a great idea to compare how much we've improved compared to the past!
While I have your attention rambling here, you MUST ! you MUSSTTTT try meditation. I can't believe before I knew other people are proud to do it just 1 minute, just 10 minutes a day and consider it a push, I actively enjoy it and used to think 1hr to 3hr+ was normal. I wish I wasn't tainted by people complaining that it's a hassle to fit it into their schedule. If anything, today I had the thought that life should be wrapped around meditation. The purpose of life is to live, and to thoroughly live and be present, you must be aware. I suppose that's why people really do become monks, because they want to dedicate their lives to it. Thinking about focusing on meditation every day of my life is so peaceful. It is not as scary anymore worrying "will I be homeless if I can't find a job or go to university?" Now I take it one day at a time, meditating. I had another thought today I'd like to share with the world too. I thought, "The one rule of life is this: 'Don't worry about it.' " That's the answer to life. For anything we worry about, we literally just don't have to worry about it. We were not here to worry. And for anyone who doesn't know me, I used to spend years of my life in a benzo-dependence haze, and it was through the salvation of vigorous mental training that I could become drug free.
Because, when we worry, look, either the thing we worry about doesn't happen, or it gets solved. Or it happens anyway, but you ruin the present moment by worrying about it. So in all three outcomes, worrying doesn't do anything but make you feel bad. You don't need to worry to make efforts to change things. That's the lie worrying tells us. Our thoughts are built to help us survive, not to feel good. If anything, being in a blissful and happy state encourages you to expend more effort to make the necessary steps. I must fight this entropy every day by mental training. I wouldn't even call it discipline. It's so harsh to call it that. I'd say it's self love to be disciplined. I value my life too much to let my mind wander.
So that's that. Idk if anyone will read this, probably future me! I have been thinking about the passage of time a lot lately, how mortal we are, how quickly days change. As old as I am, as much as I'm nostalgic, at the same time, I'll never be this young again, so I shouldn't take any day for granted :)
I just really want to reiterate again how enjoyable meditation is, and how after I did the 40 minutes one, it was like putting on noise canceling headphones for my thoughts! It was insane. I was able to swat away any thoughts not related to what I needed to do so easily. But after not even 40 minutes it wore off already. I want to dive again tomorrow, and maybe this supremely quietening effect will last longer and longer until my life is saturated in the consciousness! And yes, I'm aware, I probably sound pretentious or egotistical, I try not to be, but if that's how I come off, I can't help it. I just really want to share my thoughts.
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