Blog Update:
Hi, it's me, Loyal.
I just want to say first and foremost, I really do love (parts of) the fandom and I'm not going anywhere.
I will, however, not be around as much. One, I'm about to enter an all day intensive treatment plan so I'll literally just be on in the evening. Two, as much as I'm going to keep writing and creating, I have no intention of interacting publicly with fandom as much as I have.
I can't. It's actually fucking insane that it's gotten to this point. I made tribute post and because I used lyrics from Dream's song, I got harassed. The people doing this, acting like this, thinking this way are insane.
So in case it's not clear: Based on my personal lived experience and some information that's come to light, I still enjoy Dream's content. You can approach me personally, off anon, if you want to know my reasoning. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But I'm done trying to walk this fine line just so I don't get people threatening me, my kids, and my pets. Just so people stop sending me the city I live in, so they stop digging up twelve year old tweets, so they stop calling me slurs and suicide baiting me.
That's absolutely insane. It's horrible. It's disgusting and I was honestly just sitting here, taking it, because I'm terrified of upsetting people and losing friends if I say 'yeah, I'm excited for a new manhunt and I also this song helped me and my kids process my grief'. And the worst part is, it's not an unfounded fear. People have done the most vile shit to me. People I thought were friends jumped on me instead of those harassing me.
I just want to post about Techno and c!Rivals duo and not worry about whether or not this post is going to get me hate. I don't want to worry about how random discord servers are talking about me.
Because that's fucking batshit. Not the worrying, but what these people are doing and I'm tired of letting this effect me. I have enough going on in my personal life. My partner of 15 years almost died. We almost lost our house. I should be able to come online and post about the silly minecraft guys I like and their RP and lore without censoring myself out of fear of literally being doxxed and cyber stalked. I should be able to talk about the racism that effects me without being afraid people will make it about cc drama or calling me slurs or erasing my identity as an Ojibwe person.
The people doing this are the problem. It hurts that so many people are part of this, it really does. But I can't keep letting it get to me. I've always done my best to be kind. I haven't been perfect, especially not lately, because all this hate and stress has gotten to me. I've lashed out. I shouldn't have.
And I shouldn't have had to deal with all that shit in the first place. I hope no one else does. It's terrifying and draining and I'm done.
So I intend to post the things I enjoy, I intend to reblog my friends' art, write the Emerald duo and Rivals duo fics I want to. I want to post about the Syndicate and the new manhunt when it comes out. That's what I'm going to do.
Asks are staying off for the moment because people are too happy to make burner blogs but I'll probably turn them back on at some point as I love answering lore and headcanon questions and, again, it's fucked up I can't enjoy an aspect of the site and fandom because people can't just leave me alone.
To those people: Get help. You're harassing someone because you think they deserve it and that's the most fucked up thing.
To everyone else: So so many of you have been amazing. You've been supportive, you've been kind. That kindness and support speaks volumes and I love you all. I genuinely love you. Dreblr, you've been here for me for over a year at this point and I cannot thank you enough. You are the best part of fandom as far as I'm concerned. And to Dtblr, y'all have come to support me countless times and that means the world to me, it really does. As for all my fellow Rivals duo fans, you people are worth your weight in gold for the joy you bring. A special shout-out to @vpofcookies because you've been here since the beginning, practically, and I love you. There's more but you know who you are.
Anyway, I've been carrying this for awhile and I'm tired. I'm no longer going to give any amount of thought to the people determined to drag me down and harass me constantly.
My best advice is stop focusing on the things and people you hate and instead focus on what you love. That's what I plan to do, from here on out.
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it's awfully refreshing to see a rise in malevolent galas again, and i'm preeet-ty sure your popularity's playing into it. grrrrrrr yes! let that boy kill! let him scheme and conspire! let him wreak havoc like the true planet-destroying fiend he is!
waaahaaa i'm so delighted to hear it! i will be completely honest, i was extremely nervous to post that very first comic with him in (where he was undeniably malicious) because almost every other headcanon i'd seen of him at that point is that he is Just Misunderstood and Actually A Good Guy or, at the very least, perhaps currently acting out but still Redeemable With A Heart Of Gold
and those are amazing too! not a single piece of shade on those characterisations; they are genuinely cathartic tropes and i love to see them- for him or anyone else. but it made me quite scared to have to just be like... 'anyway he is extraordinarily and wilfully cruel in my headcanons and stories!!'
so it really means a lot to me that you enjoy this characterisation!! and that you think possibly it's having an impact on other folks' characterisations in a positive or refreshing way! that's such an honour! i was scared people would loathe my storytelling or characterisation of their favourite blorbo (i still fear it, ngl) or even think that i like... don't like him. but the thing is that i love him. i love him to bits and pieces and because of how much i love him i've done him the ultimate honour of assigning him Irredeemable All-powerful Villain and allowed him free reign to bite and kill
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