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haljathefangirlcat · 3 months

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My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “Beowulf” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

literal years later, when I least expected it: dude I swear I just saw Cain's spawn lurking in the fens

My buddy the narrator pacing: Hrothulf is plotting against his uncle

The thing about Beowulf is... I never quite got the hype about it. (Yes, we're not Supposed to use words like "hype" about world literature Classics, especially from ancient times, or to make light of them in general. Shut up and contemplate the fact that social media posts expressing nothing more than personal opinions and feelings aren't generally meant to be the same thing as academic work to be shared between academians in an academic context.) Ofc, I understood its historical value, including in terms of linguistics and philology. But in terms of "would I pick this as reading material to obsess and fall into a research hole over"? Despite trying a few times, I never quite got past ALL the references to God every other line. ("Snorri was an Evil Zealot who set out to knowingly and purposefully Christianize Norse mythology For The Evulz" crowd, I will tattoo each and every single one of those all over your body so you can't look into a mirror without accidentally reading one ever again.) The apparently disjointed "Beowulf fights Grendel and then Grendel's mother in Denmark. Years later, after going back to Sweden and becoming king, he also fights a dragon but this time he dies" narrative didn't really appeal to me, either. Nor did the presence of (afaik) exactly one (1) named female character. (Wealhtheow, babe, in hindsight I'm so sorry.)

I'm not sure what changed, exactly. It's just that, some time ago, I finally got around to reading Grendel by John Gardner, and I loved it and thought "wow, this would have made me either bawl my eyes out or stare off into space for like five-to-ten minutes after finishing it, had I read it as a teen." And after that, I found myself thinking "well, now I should probably get to know know the original story," and finally picking up my copy of Tolkien's translation of Beowulf, and realzing there actually was a lot going on in the story, and getting way too engaged in the looming "Hrothulf kills Hrothgar's kids" subplot that doesn't even really resurface in any later material about Hrolf Kraki (though those aren't exactly free from fucked-up family dynamics, either...), and going "!!! Volsungar mention!!!!" at the bit about Sigemund and Fitela despite already knowing about the Sigemund and Fitela bit and the whole "who actually killed the dragon first/in which tradition" question, and losing my mind at the bit about Hama and the "necklace of the Brosings" and "Eormanaric's hate" because, yeah, I already knew about that one, too, kind of, but recently I've gone into a little bit of a Brisingamen deep-dive, and a while ago I read a really interesting commentary and translation of the Hildebrandslied that had quite a lot to say not just about the specific hatred/enmity of a powerful king for an adventurous hero but also about the shift from Odoacher to Ermanric as Dietrich' von Bern's enemy, which ofc (?) got me thinking about Eormanaric/Ermanric/Jormunrek's apparent widespread reputation for being an asshole, something there probably has to be some accessible paper in English about somewhere out there...

Ahem. Anyway, I also found myself alternating reading Tolkien's translation with watching Grendel Grendel Grendel, the weird and very simplified and toned down but still somehow very enjoyable and sad kids' movie adaptation of Gardner's Grendel. And Beowulf & Grendel, the one without any magic where Grendel's a traumatized Neanderthal on a quest of vengeance that's somehow also quite a good watch despite the wonky editing, the cast and crew being possibly cursed by the Norse gods, and ofc, the time-displaced Neanderthals. And Animated Epics: Beowulf, which I might have actually watched once as a child, thinking about it. And Simon Roper and Jackson Crawford's read-along, featuring interesting linguistic, literary, and historical notes as well as Australian!Hrothgar, Beowulf making it exceedingly clear that "some of my best friends are Danes!", and some unforgettable exchanges such as "I used to tell my students the story about that time I almost drove off a cliff when they were worried about their exams to make them undestand that I, too, had experienced the fear of death :|" "I'm glad you didn't perish :)" "Thanks. :|" (I'm on the Fits 8-11 video, btw. Even if, when it comes to Tolkien's translation, I'm already at the part where Beowulf says goodbye to Hrothgar and sails back to the land of the Geats. Look, I remebered thos videos existed somewhat belatedly.)

I think eventually I might also end up rewatching The 13th Warrior (which I'm gonna go out on a limb and say might be the true origin of the ahistorical Neanderthals in Beowulf & Gredenl, but I remember liking that one, too). And Outlander (my beloved "aliens crash-land in Viking Age Scandinavia and fight each other while being Sad & Tragic in their own ways" one, not the Scottish one) but specifically as a Beowulf reimagining this time around (rather than as "the movie that could have totally had the Brooding Hero, Fiery But Sweet Warrior Woman, and Hotheaded Rival-Turned-Friend invent modern polyamory, because that wouldn't have been weirder than having a character called Boromir" like every other time). Maybe that weird post-apocalyptic Beowulf that was the first to do the "Grendel's mom's got it goin' on" thing, too, at least if I can find that snarky review of it on Youtube again. Probably not the Uncanny CGI Desperately Trying To Be Live-Action 20O5 Beowulf where the titular hero keeps screaming "BEOWULF!!" and "I'M BEOWULF!!!" just in case the audience's intelligence levels can't be considered to be above the average rock's, and that also decided to add a foot fetish/body paint kink note to its cover of Grendel's Mom, though, unless I can find any snarky review of it. (I remember reading somewhere that the director actually hated Beowulf, as in the poem itself, and accepting the bit of info without question. The high heels-shaped feet are just one of the reasons why I wonder if anyone ever asked him if perhaps he hated women, too. At least his work supposedly contributed to the writers of Outlander being told "there's already too many Beowulf movies coming out!" and going "whatever, we're gong to do our own thing! With blackjack and hookers aliens and shieldmaidens", so I should probably thank him for that.)

Unfortunately, while I'm pretty sure I'll be able to avoid writing down a list of Adaptations I Absolutely Need To Check Out One Day Or I'll Die (i.e. Every Single I've Ever Heard About) like I did for The Nibelungs In Their Every Possible Form, all of this had the unforeseen side effect of reminding me that, even when I didn't have much if any interest in Beowulf, I used to have a bit of soft spot for Unferth. I mean, how could I not, when I imprinted on Hagen von Tronje when I was eleven-years-old? Give me a guy who knows all of The Hero's heroic deeds and still doesn't find him all that impressive from their very first meeting, and I'll just "👀" at him. Though from what I knew, this guy in particular seemed to go against his character type by becoming more friendly with the hero and lending him his ancestral sword, which seemed pretty interesting. Especially because he was apparently a fratricide, too? And you wouldn't expect a guy who killed his own brothers and got a "... and that's why you'll go to Hell!" by The Hero over it to have any kind of redemption arc/sudden reveal of hidden depths in any positive sense. And there was also that paper (which, ofc, I didn't bookmark at the time, and now I want to kick myself for that until I remember the title or at least the author...) arguing that maybe him telling off Beowulf about the swimming race was less about him as a person and more about him having a specifc role among the thanes in Heorot that included testing strangers requesting to speak with Hrothgar to figure out if they really were who they claimed to be or if they could actually live up to their reputation...

Again, I blame John Gardner, at least in part. He has a really crunchy Unferth, who definitely reawakened my interest in the character. The on in Grendel Grendel Grendel wasn't half-bad, either, though very different in some respects. But the original, too, ended up being actually so much more fun (meaning, so much more to chew on/rotate in my mind) than I could have imagined from my vague memories.

First you've got the iconic "didn't you look like a total loser against Breca, and isn't that literally all there is to know about you?" "shut up, you're drunk, a kinslayer, someone I have never heard anyone tell heroic tales about, and also, maybe if you were braver Grendel wouldn't keep eating you guys" banter, and I'm starting to realize that might be already more juicy, in terms of both Beowulf's and Unferth's characterizations and their interactions together, than I ever thought it was. Then you've got a line that sounds an awful lot like "everyone could see Grendel's severed arm hanging from the ceiling and that shut Unferth up" and seems to imply some sort of lingering bitterness on Unferth's side when Heorot is in the middle of the celebrations for Grendel's death. But then Unferth actually starts being described in much more favorable terms, almost as if the narrator were pointing out that, despite what the audience might think after his first appearance, there's a reason he's close to Hrothgar and has a good place in his hall... even if at the same time Unferth's praised for his "mighty heart" (something quite different from cowardice), wisdom, and the trust everyone in Heorot apparently has in his mind, there's actually another reference to him having had no mercy for his relatives "in the play of swords" in the past. (Fun little detail: that line comes right after one to the effect of "Hrothgar and Hrothulf were there and no betrayal had yet happened between them"...)

Until, finally, you get Beowulf preparing to go fight Grendel's mother and Unferth giving him his family's swords, Hrunting. And all kinds of entertaining things happen in relation to Hrunting.

You've got Unferth not remembering his first words to Beowulf because he was just really, really, really drunk when he said them, which seems to go well with Beowulf himself calling out his speech as a drunken boast but not with the "that shut him up" line I mentioned before. (Which leads me to wonder: was he actually too drunk to know what he was saying? Or did Beowulf give him an easy out in case he regretted it, which Unferth eventually chose to take to try and smooth things over?) You've got Unferth being "mighty of valour" yet not daring to go after Grendel's mother himself and "forfeiting glory" while giving his weapon to a "worthier" warrior, but his sword getting some lengthy praise nonetheless, to the point of being basically deemed infallible, and Beowulf not only not making any more comments on Unferth's supposed lack of bravery but calling him a man of "wide renown", praising his sword some more, vowing to succeed in his heroic feat with Hrunting or die trying, and telling Hrothgar that no matter what happens, Unferth must get it back when it's all over. And after that... you've got Hrunting utterly failing to kill or even harm Grendel's mother.

Except, that's literally the first time it ever fails at anything? And Beowulf can only kill Grendel's mother when, with the help of God, he finds a magical sword forged by giants, which implies there was no problem with it (and, by extension, with Unferth?) as the whole situation simply needed a little something extra to be dealt with?

Then, you've got Beowulf actually bringing Hrunting back, even if it wasn't much use to him when it really mattered. And praising it again, making sure to publicly clarify, while addressing Hrothgar himself, that no, it really is an excellent sword. And, after some more "the monster is dead!" celebration, Unferth himself (unambiguously "bold", now) having the sword brought over again not just to lend it Beowulf, but to gift it to him.... a weapon that is both nothing to sneeze at and, as Beowulf himself has acknowledged while praising it, a family heirloom. (From a guy who probably already has enough complicated feelings about his family without running around giving that kind of stuff away, to boot!) One Beowulf accepts once more, and gladly, already figuring it will be "a good friend in war, a power in battle" and saying absolutely nothing bad about it (the narrator goes "oh he's so gallant!" at him after that bit, which is admittedly kind of hilarious in itself, but still, imho, not really much to go on if you want to think he's not being sincere) right before he announces his intentions to sail back home.

I'm gonna be honest: I had already read most fics tagged Beowulf/Unferth on AO3 before this Beowulf binge. And now, I've gone and reread them. I've actually read the ones I'd missed the first time around, too. Not that it took me much time at all, but still. WildandWhirling has two really lovely ones. This innuendo-heavy one is a delight to read, too.

I think I might end up writing at least one more. Maybe canon!verse, if I manage not to spiral into researching Old English attitudes to homosexuality, or maybe Modern!AU, if I manage to find a good way to transliterate "sailing off to another country to slay monsters" in this century in a convincing way. Even just to have more than six works in the tag itself. But we'll see...

I suppose, in the end, the whole point of this random, almost stream-of-consciousness post (besides freeing up my head from at least some of my recent Beowulf thoughts) might have turned out to be just that, no matter who they are, fangirls will, indeed, always make them gay. (... I say, as if this was a surprise and I didn't already ship a number Nibelungenlied-and-adjacent gay ships I got into way before any of this.) It wasn't its original purpose but *shrug* I'll take it.

Then again... come on. All that talking about swords. *grin*

#beowulf #beowulf x unferth

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lazarel-3000 · 1 year

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“Hey, No.”

There was so much from this Se6Ep8 to unwrap.

Laughing at the showrunners cheeky episode title Analyze Piss, because oh I’m gonna! I’m gonna analyze and comment the shit out of this!!

TW: Suicide, mental health, depression

Rick Going to Therapy

@tootiredforaname’s take on the possibility of Rick having turned himself into a fly to observe therapy before going in himself is a lot more benign and plausible than my interpretation lol. Because I thought my man Rick was doing that to eavesdrop to see how he could further manipulate the family by mining their insecurities and using them against them—which to my defense seemed like something he would do! Also I read a fic about that too!

Can I just also say how much I freaking love Dr. Wong?! She is so good, like wow – the way she didn’t play into Rick’s bs *chef’s kiss* She like straight up said No to him AND HE LISTENED!! And before that, she was so calm and non-reactive too, found a way to appeal to Rick in a way that didn’t directly connect with emotion because we all know how much he loves that! “Rick, would you be interested in proving me wrong? [...] Show me data.” She said. And of course it was reverse psychology but it worked! This character is amazing.

Rick pacing back and forth, but actually being OPEN to a session with her, I could not believe my eyes and ears. His roundabout way too of asking for her “expertise” melted my heart. Old Rick would NEVER.

And like it works, right? It works for A While.

The Pitfalls of Change

Like mentioned before I was totally expecting this not work and like can we say that yeah this whole process wasn’t the prettiest to watch but truth be told, change hardly ever is. Someone dragging decades long issues behind them is not going to change their mindset overnight. It’s a process that requires commitment and consistency; it’s awkward, uncomfortable and many times painful. Regression to old habits happens, and that’s okay - this episode did really good in demonstrating that.

Toilet Humor as an Analogy: Pissmaster persona as a vehicle of self-agency

People getting grossed out about the toilet humor is understandable I myself thought it was disgusting but going beyond that. Piss is an analogy, or I want to believe it is, because it’s like Pissmaster, Pissmaster, right? You have this guy whose personal life is so depressing that he adopted an entire persona focused on urine to prove others wrong. But then he fails by getting his ass handed to him by Jerry of all people, yet he gets to live nonetheless. Now here, Eugene Michael Piss, the person suffers an emotional break realizing his Pisspersona could not prove anyone wrong - which is all he ever wanted. So now he has nothing

I like how Rick says this to his daughter: “I can tell you for sure if anything happens to me, it’s 100% not on you, it’s my own choice.”

And it’s true, we all make choices every day. Eugene could have chosen something different for himself. He could have chosen to get help, could have re-connected with his worried family, could have not done That, but he didn’t. He looked for a way out.

So then Rick is placed in a position to do something about it, or do nothing at all. So what does Rick do?

He gets off his ass and starts saving the world, and he does it under the pretense of wanting to protect Eugene’s daughter from the crude reality of her father’s death. And finds it that he actually Likes It and Dr. Wong reservedly approves!

He is taking control in his own way and changing. Remember that recent interview with Justin? Yeah.

The additional point being made too, I like to believe, is that yeah you can be dealt the shittiest hand in life but at the end of the day you yourself choose what you do with it. And if you do good, others are bound to notice. Like the Orb Council or whatever, didn’t care Pissmaster was a literal piss lord! All that they cared about and saw was that he was moving on, he was changing:

“Everyone likes a comeback story...”

Edit: I just rewatched the episode and realized that Rick was not suicidal in the Orphan Island bit, he had planned to autopilot the bomb away before Jerry got there lol

Rick and his inability to make friends

Rick’s inability to make close connections continues to be a theme in the show. After the toilet episode with Tony, I see now how he probably does want to have friends, but is hesitant because it never ever works out. Like every time he’s empathized with someone - Birdperson, Tony and now Pissmaster – something goes terribly horribly wrong. And he’s left alone again.

I just hope that can change one day, because Rick really needs someone outside his family he can rely on. We all do.

Morty, the secret keeper… not!

Lol I laughed when Morty immediately went to tell on Rick.

And you know what, I saw some people being angry at Morty for this, but I’m like ‘What did you expect? He’s 14 and has had extensive character growth.’ Also, Rick’s the adult here, let’s never forget that. The reaction has me like ‘???’

I really hope ya’ll are super young and don’t know any better. Because if Rick really felt that he needed to tell someone, he could have told Dr. Wong or you know… a friend or even some random at the bar, not his grandkid.

But like let’s take a closer look at this bit.

Was he self-sabotaging? Like we know he can be pretty self destructive, so I can’t help but wonder if some dark part of him wanted to ruin the good image his family had of him. Like he can’t let them have this, can’t let them be right when he’s always been the one in higher ground. Or maybe part of him feels vulnerable, after being perceived as callous man all this time to then have them suddenly realize that he might have a heart underneath, I can see how that could be a scary thing to someone. Or it could be a combination of both and it’s understandable but c’mon don’t tell your grandkid.

He really needs a friend.

On Closing.

The fact that the episode didn’t end in a happy note and instead had them all arguing in the garage was a good choice imo. Like I keep saying in my ramblings. Change is not perfect. It’s not pretty, and it takes a whole LOT of work to keep it consistent.

Other Comments

I just find it cool that therapy was used a plot point in the story—not many comedy shows can do that without making fun of the concept. I mean the showrunners themselves have also had their own struggles with mental health, so it was nice to see them incorporate it. And like considering the show’s overall tone you would expect it to not be handled well, but it somehow worked! It worked on so many levels!

At the end of the day I hope it encourages those who need it to give therapy a try.

With all that being said:

I loved what we could explore here but it somehow felt off in hindsight. I don’t know it was the dialogue or what, but this episode’s tone felt different. Idk, it’s just my opinion.

Anyway, whose piss was that anyway?

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #rick and morty spoilers #Adult Swim

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matchaflavored · 7 months

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what was it abt trrd that makes u rly like their dynamic? what tropes do they hit on the viola barometer

OMG yani... u r seriously a real one. love u. I will talk in place of myself from three years ago, when I was in that weird period where I was testing the waters between character dynamics in twst. The very first episode with Heartslabyul absolutely hit me like a truck. I wasn't really expecting the writing to be as compelling as it was (despite being a Yana fan and being diehard for her work, the Disney branding made me not take it very seriously), and I was like, oh wow, realistic toxic relationships between teenagers with no autonomy over their emotions and circumstances?! This rules! And you can apply this to a lot of the dynamics in twst, but besides the fact that treyrid is the very first one you encounter, I find Trey himself a refreshingly unique character. I guess a lot of people enjoy more emotionally transparent characters, because it feels affirming and enjoyable to see certain dynamics expressed a certain way, but when there was only like four stories out for each character I was like 'Wow, for a guy who gets defensive about people questioning him about Riddle, a lot of the fundamentals of his character and motivations revolves around Riddle!'. 'But Viola! He's been openly exasperated, dare I say, even annoyed at Riddle! And not in the funny bickering yaoi way, also doesn't placating as a motivation make Trey's feelings towards Riddle artificial!' I was super surprised too when I read his stories (in a good way)! Can this man both love someone and resent what he's going through by proxy of that person's uncontrollable circumstances? The answer is yes! And so much material support these conflicting feelings that I feel like are attuned to more realistic relationships. That was, by far, the biggest appeal to me. Conflict in relationships can be more than just aimless bickering but "oh the bickering is actually because they totes have the hots for each other!". It's unspoken words, self-doubt... it's questioning who you are and who they are. Their relationship is imperfect, by account of something that is out of their control, but they choose to care and support one another unconditionally. Trope wise... treyrid was (is? it's more was) somewhat a codependency, in which Riddle used Trey as an emotional tether and Trey took advantage of Riddle's superficial vices in order to subdue his guilt over he and Riddle's shared trauma. A queen and her knight... but in the end, both of them know they're above those experiences and the influence they have in each other's lives is definitely a net positive. Omg I know you don't go here but even if this is like the baseline there's still so much about them that makes me go crazy... You know how Kircheis met Reinhard as a kid and went 'I, with my tiny child body, have decided that I will dedicate my life to support this other kid whose life sucks because I see that they are more than that.' That is literally what happened with Trey and Riddle when they were kids. Insane power tripped pretty boy with his kind gentle giant friend who acts as his moral compass for a majority of their appearances together. Said friend also challenged pretty boy's authority and pretty boy felt betrayed because they felt like the unconditional bond they had was breaking. Good stuff.

#tldr they are in love and life is hard and can strain emotions but that doesnt make u love the person u do any less #u just gotta persevere more. THAT IS LOVE!#v.txt #asks

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amnesiacsleepy · 1 year

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I posted 964 times in 2022

That's 851 more posts than 2021!

60 posts created (6%)

904 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@superdog075

@starcloud-nova

@kittyacelia

@poopy-mamy-poko-pants

@amnesiacsleepy

I tagged 345 of my posts in 2022

#writing - 7 posts

#to me - 4 posts

#fanfic - 4 posts

#lmao - 4 posts

#mha - 3 posts

#tf2 - 3 posts

#no - 3 posts

#like seriously - 3 posts

#???? - 3 posts

#tf2 soldier - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but no. it doesnt change anything about him. im pretty sure that it hasnt been brought up since that episode/chapter and it bugs me so much

My Top Posts in 2022:

this is so much work

4 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

since tumblr took my goth rave color palette i have decided to make a new one and call it emo rave where everything is black. text. backgrounds. images. ads. its all a dark landscape but when you see the color of the sky post its not multiple colors its one single blinding white

7 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

ok but like. cuphead's songs in the Indie Cross FNF mkd were ACTUAL BOPS no i dont take arguments

7 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

An attack on @popfizzles character, Powdered Doughnut! The roundness was a bit hard to properly achieve, but I got it in the end.

27 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

#SaveTF2 - Getting Valve to Acknowledge this, Once and for All

Alright. I'm a day late, but what does that matter? I'd rather do this a day late than never do it at all.

Team Fortress 2 (TF2) is a game that I'm still very early in the learning process of. I've only been playing for a few months, and don't have even 100 hours in the game yet. And if things go the way they are, I don't think I will. Official servers are, truthfully, in an awful state. Bots are crawling in every one, and the only way to avoid them is to requeue like there's no tomorrow. There are new players every day, and I don't want to think that their first thought about this incredible game is "Wow, I can't do literally anything." It, to be honest, is heartbreaking to see this incredible game that has lived so long to be done in by this.

TF2 means so much to so many- and I so badly want to see why. I want to be in the era where it was consistently getting more content added to it, when cheaters were kicked instantly after someone caught on.

The bots are far, far worse than a cheater could ever be. They spam things in the voice chat, they can hit through walls, they have perfect aim. And even worse, most of them are snipers, meaning that then can kill you from across the entire map if you aren't careful.

I want to love this game. I want to see what makes it so fun, why people play it even over a decade later. I want to join the incredible people that make the game look so appealing, and I want to see the appeal behind it. But, with all the current flaws... I can't.

Valve has, to their credit, tried to do something. However, none of it worked. In fact, the things they did have only made the problem worse. Things like making Free-to-plays (like myself) unable to use VC/text chat. I can't even call for medic in an official server.

And Uncle Dane shouldn't be shouldering all of the TF2 community on Uncletopia. Uncletopia is where I spend most of my time when I play TF2, which hasn't been for a while. However, I can barely even do anything there because everyone else is just too good for me to get better at movement and tracking.

I can't get better because I'm fighting against people that kill me too fast for me to learn anything. I can't say that I love TF2 yet. But I want to. I want to love TF2 so badly. I want to enjoy what other people enjoy about the game.

I want to frag as Scout. I want to use incredible power as Soldier. I want to reflect as Pyro. I want to mow down the enemy as Heavy. I want to get a nasty sticky trap as Demo. I want to single-handedly defend the final point as an Engineer. I want to make a game-changing Uber push as Medic. I want to get an incredible chainstab as Spy.

I want to see this game restored to when it was at its peak. I want to build gamesense. I want to learn how to count damage numbers. I want to learn the flank routes. I want to learn how to trimp as Demoknight. I want to experience this game's full quality.

And I really, really hope that I can.

This is my #SaveTF2 post. I hope Valve gets enough to finally do something.

36 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #eh sure ill post my year in review ig #why not yknow

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zachsgamejournal · 2 years

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COMPLETED: Disney Infinity 3.0: Star Wars Twilight of the Republic

Something about these Disney Infinity games is just FUN. There's a simplicity matched with competent design and production that makes these games exciting and accessible. Similar to the Lego games.

Without really intending to, I beat this game in one sitting. And I surprised myself that I enjoyed it.

Unnecessary history:

For my 1st anniversary with my wife, we were broke, but we bought ourselves the original Disney Infinity for PS3. We're Disney people and like playing coop games. We tried out the Incredibles playset, assuming that our love of that franchise would make this playset the most enjoyable. While I appreciated that you could level up characters and assign points to skills, this playset was plain awful.

Disney Infinity is about collecting toys that you then get to play with in the game. So in-game, the characters take on a "toy" aesthetic. For the main characters and villains, this mostly gives them a stylistic, cartoony look: like Fortnite characters. This was fine cause we were used to Lego games. But the NPCs and citizens of the playset were basic, armless toy-people standing about a third of the size of real humans. And the "open world" city looked like it was designed in 10th rate level editor. It was like when LittleBigPlanet's story levels were all created in the actual level editor to show off the possibilities--but this level editor had one billionth the customization. It was just drag and drop the same five assets and buildings here.

I was so disappointed and thought we had made a big mistake.

Then I tried to the Pirates of the Caribbean set. I was instantly blown away. Probably because Incredibles was such a disappointment. You start off rowing a boat in the middle of battle--which was exciting. And then you move into a town that doesn't look like it was designed by a shitty level editor, but by actual designers and artists. If that's not enough, the game eventually lets you sail a pirate ship to other islands to do more quests. I thought it was great. And for some reason--that was the only day I played it.

Star Wars Rise Against the Empire

zip ahead years later and my kids are getting to an age when I can actually play video games again, I request Star Wars Rise Against the Empire for a birthday or Christmas. I enjoy it. What DI really feels like to me is World of Warcraft. In a sense, you level up your character and add skills and abilities like WoW. But really it's this idea of open-worlds with several quest givers giving you menial tasks that's some how relaxing and addicting. There's exploration, collecting, and all that good stuff. I enjoyed Rise Against, but I gave up on the side-quests. I thought I'd go back and replay--but I never did.

Finally Twilight of the Republic

So I was not interested in this playset. I would have been if I thought it were based on the prequel trilogy (which I like more than the original trilogy now), but knowing it was based on the Clone Wars series--I was less interested. (I was not impressed with what little I had seen of Clone Wars). But my son got really into Clone Wars and my daughter is excited by Ahsoka. So when they were in a Star Wars mood today, I tried to offer letting them play Twilight of the Republic. I really thought THEY would play it. But it didn't work out that way.

Less than 5 minutes in, my daughter (5 yr) said it was too hard. I think being shot at by robots on a cliff that could drop her to her doom was too anxiety-inducing. I get it. I ended up playing through the first Geonosis level. I wasn't super impressed, but I didn't expect to be. Rise Against's open-worlds were more appealing to me, and this level was very linear and mostly about characters I didn't care for.

When everyone in my household had something to do, I decided to play the game some more. That's when the FUN started to grip me. All the WoW vibes, and platforming, and charming art design hooked me.

As I played through I didn't get much of the story...but what I gleamed was...dumb. We go to Geonosis to find battle droids are being made: gasp. We then steal a robot to let us know who is making the droids...like, we know this is where droids are made. The Separatists are making droids and Grevious leads their army--what's the fucking mystery here? Eventually we learn that Darth Maul is behind and he's on Naboo trying to fuck things up again.

Ok...what-evs

But what was interesting about the path they take you through, you mostly get to play the prequel trilogy: especially Phantom Menace. You start on Geonosis, but go to Coruscant, Tatooine, and Naboo. And on Naboo you fight Darth Maul in the same area as the movie with crazy laser walls to break up the fight. While it's targeting the Clone Wars, it kinda felt like a Phantom Menace game.

I kinda wish more games played like this. There's a simplicity and depth at the same time. It's about adventure and fun, not dying over and over again. I played through as Ahsoka and got to level 12. I thought about doing the side missions, which was ok--but I got a little bored. So I switched to The Force Awakens.

I really hate that Disney screwed up the Disney Infinity stuff. It was really awesome and well done. I think they saturated the market too much. Given how long-lasting their films are, especially with the theme parks immortalizing many of their franchises, there was no need to bum-rush the market with everything! Take you time, like Nintendo.

Ah well...

I enjoyed myself, and if I get bored, maybe I'll go back and do some side quests--work on getting all the stars.

#Zach's Game Journal #COMPLETED #Disney Infinity 3.0 #Star Wars #Twilight of the Republic #Ahsoka #Video Games #Gaming #PC Gaming #Steam

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carli-in-the-morning · 2 years

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HIHIHI

Sorry for not posting much recently, mans been busy (I got a job!!! :D), BUT THIS ISNT ABOUT THAT

THIS IS ABOUT WELCOME TO CELIBACY CLUB

(WARNING: this is going to be a long, emotional post, but I beg of you, if you have the mental space for it, please read what I have to say)

For those of you who likely do not know, Welcome to Celibacy Club is a short film that is currently getting funds raised for it. Now, you might be saying, "Carleigh, that's cool and all, but why should I care?" And I wouldn't blame you for saying that because you don't know the most important thing about it. This short film is going to be about an asexual main character who learns how to be confident in her asexuality.

Why is that important? BECAUSE IT LIKE DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST IN MODERN MEDIA!!!! I'm serious!!! I literally wrote an essay on this exact topic for my senior year AP Composition class, the need for asexual representation in media. You know how many characters I can think of off the top of my head that are asexual? Like 5. Only 5. There's some character in like Shadow Hunters or Teen Wolf or smth, Lilith from The Owl House, the protagonist of Loveless by Alice Oseman, Issac from Heartstopper, and some like alien queen or something from a series that my creative writing teacher is obsessed with. That's it, that's all I've got. That's abysmal compared to the millions of characters who are straight in modern media, hell, that's abysmal compared to the amount of lesbian characters and gay characters in modern media. That's not me trying to diminish the importance of lesbian and gay characters because they are important, but for fucks sake, asexuality only just recently became officially recognized as something that doesn't belong in the DSM. To those of you who don't know, the DSM is basically the bible of mental illnesses and disorders.

Even more so, let me tell you two quick little personal stories.

First story is about me and my most recent ex boyfriend. We were, and still are, extremely close best friends who talk to each other about anything and everything. We broke up in March of 2020 because of the pandemic and parted ways for a year or so before we became chill again. Since we have been chill, he confessed to me that, had I not been asexual, he would have "Wifed [me] up immediately."

Story number two is one night my parents and I were driving home from basically my town wide GSA meeting. Naturally, being cishet parents with an aggressively queer kid, they decided it was safe to ask me questions about my queerness given the tone of the rest of the night. They were asking me all sorts of things, but only about my asexuality. They wanted to know if I had any sort of libido, if I had any interest in getting myself off, etc etc etc. Any time I would answer their questions, it'd then be IMMEDIATELY followed up with something along the lines of "Wow, that's so strange, I could never imagine living like that...like I love living with having had sex, I wouldn't want you missing out on that."

What do these stories have to do with anything? I'm glad you asked, I have never in my life felt more uncomfortable than in of these instances. I mean it. And the fucking miserable part of it is that I can think of oodles and oodles more of them because the unfortunate truth is that I have had to accept that my life, as an asexual person, places me in a fucking display case to be gawked at by allosexuals. I am always going to be made to feel uncomfortable by the allosexuals in my life because they just don't get it and they refuse to accept they dont get it and move the fuck on.

When I am the one genuinely asking what the appeal is in liking boobs or ass or a dick or anything sexual, the responses I am given are so "Uh....duh, they're boobs, how could you not like them?" But if I were ever to tell them "Uh....duh, it's sex, why would you ever like it?" They would just not fucking accept that as a valid answer to give. I get fucking interrogated by the allosexuals in my life relentlessly anytime my asexuality comes into conversation. And any time I'm the one to bring it up? I'm given eye rolls.

Now, what the hell does this have to do with Welcome to Celibacy Club? That's a fantastic question. I genuinely believe with my whole heart that Welcome to Celibacy Club has the power to help change the problems that I have faced being asexual. Maybe not for me, it might already be too late for that, but definitely for all of the younger asexual people out there in the world. Welcome to Celibacy Club will provide some long needed positive and proud asexual representation in media that will be able to show the baby asexuals out there that they are not alone. Even more than that, it has the power to show the allosexuals who interrogate, poke, and prod us that we are not here to gawk at. Welcome to Celibacy Club has the power to shatter the display case us asexuals get placed in and allow us to breathe and be recognized as the human beings we are.

But it can't do that alone.

As of writing this, Sunday August 28th 4:50 AM EST, Welcome to Celibacy Club is just under halfway to its funding goal and it has only two more weeks to get the money it needs to tell its story.

So I am asking, begging, you Tumblr; please, fund this short film. For all the asexuals who have been made to feel so alone because of feelings we can't control, fund this short film. Let our story be told with a happy ending for once.

Below you'll find the link to the Indiegogo donation page they have. Please, give anything you can comfortably spare. Pennies, dimes, dollars, anything.

TLDR; Welcome to Celibacy Club is the chance to tell a positive story about asexuality, but it doesnt have a lot more time for funds to be collected. Please donate to the production of this short film.

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waveridden · 3 years

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dottie patterson my ABSOLUTE beloved. i know the mechs went a totally different direction with alto and tbqh i adore alto but like. dottie

#waveridden.txt #i need a blaseball tag #wow the character i made myself for me appeals to me more than something other people made. stunning #i just!!!!! love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dottie my BELOVED

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missdawnandherdusk · 4 years

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A Girl’s Choice

Draco X Reader (highschool!AU)

Summary: Everything was absolutely fine in his small town, until you stumbled in and began to defy the status quo.

A/n: So, guess who got Midnight Sun and has been reading it non-stop for the past few days? Me. It was me. So, please enjoy this Twilight Parody of our favorite characters. Also I get to move back to college in like a week and I am EXCITED--mainly because there’s a good chance that I get a room to myself bc of the virus. So yay me. I love you guys a lot and really thank you for your patience and enthusiasm. It makes me smile.

“So, Gin asked me to the dance this morning,” Harry was chatting you up—a normal occurrence before class started.

Draco didn’t mean to eavesdrop on you. He really didn’t, but he was intrigued about how this would go down. Since moving to the small town, you had been a buzz among the boys in the grade level. Draco could all but assume that most of the fantasized about you asking them to the girl’s choice dance coming up.

“That’s great!” You genuinely smiled. “You’ll have a lot of fun!”

Harry fumbled, losing his casual composure. You noted on it, and your look became more skeptical and judgmental—something Pansy would approve of.

“Well, I told her I’d think about it,”

This surprised Draco as much as it seemed to surprise you. It was no secret that star lacrosse player Weasley and Potter were all but official and had been for almost all of high school.

“Why in the world would you tell her that?” Your words mimicked his thoughts.

“Well... I thought maybe you’d... want to ask me?” He ran a hand through his usually untidy mass of curls.

Draco could not make this up if he wanted to. He barely suppressed the laugh that threatened to escape his lips. How in hell had Harry figured that you’d want to go to the dance with him? You’d been here maybe a month. As far as Draco knew, you weren’t interested in anyone. Perhaps the small town didn’t have enough shine for your city lights.

“You should tell Ginny yes, Harry,” You scolded him like a child. “It’s rude to make a girl wait,”

“Yeah, I guess,” Harry sulked, his face falling as the bell rang, signaling the start of class.

Draco couldn’t wipe the amused smirk from his face. You huffed annoyed and opened your notes, already prepping a new page for today’s lesson. You didn’t pay him any mind during class—a normality between the pair of you. Draco ignored you and you returned the favor. It was almost easier this way for him. Your shiny new toy status had no effect on him. He had every shiny toy he ever wanted. You had no appeal to him.

Harry, however, Draco stole glances over from time to time. The green-eyed jock pouted throughout the entire lesson, stealing glances over to you. You hardly noticed. Instead you were doodling in your notebook, waiting for the teacher to move on.

Maybe the stars aligned, or maybe you did fascinate him, but Draco found himself in the lunch line next to you the following day as another tried to ask you to the girls choice ball.

“So, I heard you turned down Potter,” Cedric gave off-hand. “Waiting to ask someone else then?”

Draco snorted, and this time you did give him the slightest glare before turning back to Cedric.

“I’m not going,” You answered curtly, grabbing fruit from the stand. “And no, I don’t plan on asking anyone.”

“Why aren’t you going?” Cedric almost pouted.

“There doesn’t have to be a reason.” You snapped. “I’m not going,”

Draco could only imagine the glare that you gave Cedric for him to back off so quickly. Again, a smile quirked at his lips. You might be the shiny new toy, but you weren’t going to be used like a porcelain doll.

“So, has she asked anyone yet?” Pansy asked as he sat beside her at their usual lunch table.

“She’s not going, and you totally missed her going off on Diggory,” Draco grinned. “That girl has to have a glare that rivals yours,”

“She turns down Potter and Diggory... do you think maybe she’s into chicks?” Pansy asked almost hopeful.

“Wouldn’t know and don’t care,” Draco shrugged. “Besides, she’s not going to the dance so go ask Greengrass before it’s too late,”

Pansy sulked and stabbed her salad with a bit more vigor than before.

You stormed into the chemistry classroom a bit more irritated than he had seen you in the cafeteria. He wanted to guess that another guy had tried to ask you to the girl’s choice dance because honestly it amused him to see you so upset. It was cute how riled up you could get from some unwanted attention. He wondered how far you’d have to be pushed before you actually started swinging. Maybe he wanted to find out.

“So,” He asked pointedly. “Anyone else try to ask you to the dance?”

“Oh, fuck off Malfoy,” You hissed making him grin wider.

“Well, I was wondering if—”

“If you even start to finish that, I won’t be so forgiving,” Your hand clenched into a fist and Draco thought that maybe you’d actually try to hit him, but Snape walked in as the bell rang, taking any chance away from you.

Draco sat back smugly in his chair—to your great annoyance—as class droned on. At the end of the hour Draco followed you out, calling your name. You froze in the hallway, before turning to face him.

“I’m really not in the mood right now Draco,” Your strained voice gave a hint of weariness. “What is even with you guys? Can’t you just leave a girl alone? I’m not going to the stupid dance and I’m not just saying that so I can ask someone else,”

Before Draco could get a word in you stalked away, disappearing in the crowd. And he stood there, dumbfounded. Was he not amused an hour ago about your annoyance? Did it not make him smile that you were tortured by your suitors? Why all of a sudden was he frowning and loathing Potter and Diggory—and whatever poor bloke had the unfortunate courage to ask you before class—even more for winding you up?

“It was Krum,” Pansy didn’t even say hello as she sat next to him in Spanish. “He was the one who tried to ask her,”

“She said no to Krum?” Draco’s eyebrows shot up. “You might be right, she really might swing the other way,”

“Aw, but I already asked Daphne,” Pansy pouted.

“Pans, darling, I think if anyone else breathes near her about the dance she’s gonna send someone to the nurse,” Draco chuckled. “So maybe you dodged a bullet there,”

She sighed wistfully. “Still, it’s nice to dream,”

____________________________________

“So, did you ask anyone to the dance yet?”

“Dad, I really don’t want to talk about this,” I huffed, kicking off my shoes. “I’m not going to that stupid dance,”

“Well, I know it’s probably not as glitzy as your uptown shindigs, but you should still go and have fun,” My dad set down his paper. “Make some friends while you’re here,” His tone was hopeful, as I knew it would be.

He wanted me to be happy here. He wanted me to fit in and enjoy my time in the middle of nowhere. It was a farfetched dream. But it was mine, I supposed.

“I have a few friends,” I insisted. “But I’m not one for dances... and the guys in town aren’t exactly... appealing,” I decided.

“Well, not that a father will complain about his daughter not wanting to date, but maybe you should go with a group of friends or something?”

“Everyone’s paired off, dad,” I sighed, looking in the fridge for something to make for dinner.

As I set off to do my chemistry homework, my mind meandered to my chem partner. It was out of character that he spoke to me today. Normally we disregarded another in comfortable silence. It had been that way since I showed up. And though it might have stung a bit in the beginning, I could tell quickly that Draco and his friends were the wrong sort of crowd that I didn’t want to be caught up in. The kind of crowds that I escaped by moving from my city life.

And I liked the crowd I had found; Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville were all very sweet and welcoming on my first day and had sort of adopted me into their group without looking back. Not that there was much depth in any of their lunchroom conversations, but at least I wasn’t alone. Hermione was the only one I could hold a conversation with—she had AP classes as I did and was a saint when I needed homework guidance.

Chemistry, however, was the one subject she couldn’t help me with. She had opted out for AP Environmental instead, claiming she had done her time with Snape and would rather dropout than be in his class another year.

So, it left me begrudgingly texting Draco about tonight’s homework. He was the only other one in class that seemed to keep up easily. Maybe it was because he was a shoe shiner class pet of Snape’s.

Malfoy: Oh, so you’re talking to me now. Don’t want yell at me again?

My cheeks flushed in anger and embarrassment at his response. He was never one to hold back what he was thinking—even if it was brutal.

Y/n: I’m sorry for snapping at you. It wasn’t fair to you. I’d give a reason, but I doubt you’d care

Malfoy: Pansy already told me that Krum tried to ask you to the dance. That’s what? Three guys now? If I hadn’t stopped her, Pansy wanted to ask you too.

Y/n: At least it would have been a girl asking me to a girl’s choice

Y/n: And you’re short one, Ron asked me too

Malfoy: Weasel? Wow. Never thought he’d have the guts to ask anyone

Y/n: He’s actually going with Hermione

Y/n: Now will you please help me on 7?

And to my surprise, Draco was quite civil about walking me through the covalent bonding prompts. It made me feel a bit more guilty about snapping at him earlier today.

Seeing how I struggled on the homework, I wasn’t surprised that Harry came over during study hall and asked me for help on the same, if not more, questions. After the first couple, he griped that I was too similar to Hermione for knowing it all. And that it wasn’t fair that it came so easily to me.

“Actually, Draco helped me,” I smiled as I showed my notes to Harry for the next question. “He might help you if you ask,”

That was a long shot. Harry hated Draco and vice versa. It didn’t take me long to figure that one out.

“Malfoy helped you? Like actually helped you?” Harry scoffed. “The little prat,”

“Hey,” I warned snatching my notes away. “If you’re not gonna be nice about it I won’t let you use my notes,”

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that,” Harry pouted. “You know I was kidding,”

“Yahuh. Sure Harry,”

“Oh, come on,” Harry tried again. “He’s a prat. Always has been,”

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to hear anymore of Harry’s lamenting, and grabbed my bag. “I’ll be in the library,”

Wordlessly I left, fuming slightly. The music from my headphones thawed out my anger towards Harry a bit as I pushed the doors of the library open and sat at a table, pulling out my calculus homework to go over it one last time.

“This seat taken?”

I barely heard the question over my music. My eyes darted up to meet steady grey ones.

“It’s a free country,” I shrugged then remembered that I want particularly irate towards Draco at the moment. “Thank you, by the way,” I murmured, taking out one of my headphones. “For the chem help,”

“I might have had an ulterior motive,” Draco mumbled, pulling out a binder.

“If you think I’m gonna ask you to the dance because you helped me with my homework you have another thing coming Malfoy,” I warned.

“I think every guy in the school has got that by now,” a smile played at his lips. “No, I... I need help in McGonagall,” He was almost sheepish to admit it.

I raised an eyebrow at him skeptically, but he did seem genuine about needing help.

“I’m not sure I’ll be much help, but I can try. My old teacher, Jones had a different way of explaining it...” I trailed off, a pang of remorse about leaving my old school in my chest.

And maybe the way Jones taught me made more sense to Draco because he did eventually start to understand the calculus on the paper beneath us. I realized that Draco was very methodical. He enjoyed having rules that worked every time no matter the question. A failsafe that kept him ahead of the curve.

“Do you miss it?” He asked as we started to pack for the next hour.

“Miss what?”

“Your old school? It has to be a lot different than this hell hole,” His words were nonchalant but still skeptical.

“It’s not so bad here,” I defended weakly. “But... I miss it, yeah. I feel like I have to prove myself all over again. Back home—back in New York no one questioned me. The teachers trusted me... the staff knew me...” I sighed. “I’m a stranger here.”

The warning bell rang and the same sense of dread that settled upon me reflected in Draco’s eyes: we were halfway across campus and there was little hope of getting to Snape’s class in the two minutes we had left.

Both scrambling, we headed for the doors and tore down the hall. I followed Draco’s path because if I was honest, I still didn’t quite know my way around the school nor the quickest ways to certain buildings.

“Miss Y/l/n,” Snap looked down disapprovingly at me. “I hope you have reason for being late or it’s Saturday detention for you,”

My anxiety spiked as I fumbled out an explanation. In the corner of my eye, I saw Harry stand, ready to come to my defense, but there was no need. Flawlessly Draco directed the attention of the irritated teacher to him with a sly smile and quick lie, that wasn’t really a lie at all.

“It was my fault,” Draco smoothed quickly. “I was having Y/n help me with McGonagall’s homework and I kept her late.”

Snape’s eyes darted between the two of us before he sighed, telling us to get to our seats before he gave out detentions for disrupting his class.

With a breath of relief, I sat beside Draco.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

He shrugged and took out his notes and homework just as Snape began to go over it. And we went back to ignoring each other. Except, this time, it deemed impossible for me not to glance at him every so often, or for my eyes not to drift to his notes on the table, making sure that I hadn’t missed anything. The hour seemed to end quicker than normal. As usual, Harry walked to gym with me, chatting about the upcoming game before the dance this weekend.

“So, you and Malfoy?” The comment caught me off guard. “I don’t like it,”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s nothing Harry,” I shrugged. “No need to let your little feud make up wild stories. He just needed help with calc,”

“Sure, the golden boy needed help with his homework,” Harry said flatly. “That’s believable.”

“And what about it is so farfetched?” I demanded.

“He’s doing it for some reason. He knows you turned me down, maybe he’s trying to get at me by being nice to you,” The offhand comment had my blood boiling.

“Are you serious right now!?” I snapped. “What is so wrong with you that you can’t see past your own ego!?”

Storming off, the only relief from my anger I was allowed happened when I ‘accidentally’ pelted Harry with a ball in the face, sending him to the nurse. When my anger faded, doubt remained. Was Draco only trying to be nice to me to get at Harry? From what I knew of Draco secondhand, I wouldn’t put it past him.

______________________________

Draco was shocked when Snape had called on you for a homework answer, and you admitted that you didn’t know. Didn’t you know that he didn’t mind you texting him about the homework? That helping you wasn’t the worst waste of his time in the world? You had done it before. Not days ago. And yet you allowed yourself to be ridiculed by Snape for your lack of habitual knowledge.

You didn’t notice the small frown that lingered on his face for the remainder of class as you kept your head down and doodled in your notebook. Deciding that he didn’t like your comatose, he did something that deemed childish: he passed you a note.

You ok?

You stared at the paper and looked over at him, biting your lip before scribbling:

Fine. Pay attention.

Rolling his eyes, he took the paper back and wrote:

I can’t if you’re over here moping.

You took the small piece of paper and crumpled it in your hands, shoving it into your bag. Draco decided to leave you alone for the rest of the hour his curiosity still burning through him. A quick meeting of Harry’s livid stare, and Draco had a better idea of what was going on. He just hoped, for perhaps the first time ever, that he was wrong.

“Oi, what the hell did you say to Y/n?” Draco demanded, singling Potter out in the hall the next morning.

His curiosity and suspicions had festered over the night. Draco had made the conscious decision to text you, asking if you needed help with chem, and your lack of response had him worrying again.

“What are you going on about Malfoy?” Ron crossed his arms, coming to Harry’s defense.

“Stay out of this weasel,” Draco hissed, noticing the crowd that began to gather around the small confrontation. Most of his attention, however stayed focused on cold green eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Malfoy,” Harry tipped his chin back. “What? Is she not bowing down at your feet like you’re used too?” A laugh barked out of him and Weasley and a few other onlookers.

“At least she’s got enough self-respect to not be on her knees for you,” Draco heard the familiar condescending voice of Pansy beside him. A grin curled onto his face at her words.

Harry didn’t know what to say to that it seemed, and it further proved Draco’s suspicions.

“So, you did say something to her,” He accused. “She got her not a month ago and you’re already dragging her into our mutual hatred?” Draco wouldn’t stoop that low. It was pathetic.

“Well if you hadn’t gone and pretended to need help with McGonagall’s work, there wouldn’t be a problem,” Harry gritted, as if he had the high ground.

“As opposed to you who pretends he doesn’t need help them blames others when he fails?” Draco snapped.

There was quite a large crowd gathering around now, and he and Harry were less than a foot apart. Both boys were on the verge of snapping.

“Draco?”

Your voice was enough to distract him that he didn’t see Harry throw the first punch. Pain blistered across his jaw as fury burned in his eyes. Now the kids around them were chanting and egging on the fight. But Draco never had the chance to swing back.

Because you had drove yourself into the cleared circle and delivered a few punches of your own.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” You shouted at him kneeing him in the groin leaving him keeled over, groaning. “I told you to back the fuck off!”

Draco wasn’t as surprised at the comment as he was about the knowledge that you knew how to beat the pulp out of a star football player without a whim. You never seemed like the athletic type but the blood pouring from Harry’s nose begged that you were slightly more dangerous than Draco had originally thought.

“Are you okay?” Your wild worried eyes were trained on him.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” He didn’t mean for the words to be so harsh, but the hurt that flickered across your face made him regret them.

He wished he had time to explain exactly why you shouldn’t have done that, but McGonagall and Snape were already upon the scene and threatening detentions. He and Harry, of course, were called out as the other students scattered.

“McGonagall, please,” You stood loyally beside him, despite his harsh words. “Draco didn’t have a hand in this, I did.”

Both teachers raised their eyebrows in surprise. Draco just gaped at you. Harry was glaring and still bleeding.

“I see. All three of you go to Dumbledore’s office.” She said, her careful eyes not leaving yours.

Harry strode off first, perhaps feeling smug in the fact that either way, you or Draco would be in trouble for this encounter. Draco wondered if you knew you had just bought yourself three days suspension for fighting.

You were silent beside him as you flexed your hand. He pondered if you had hurt it in your fervor. He almost asked you. Then he remembered the hurt on your face at his last words and decided against it. You wouldn’t want to talk to him.

“So,” Dumbledore said pointedly. “I heard there was a bit of a skirmish today in the hall,” An amused smile sat upon the principal’s face, no doubt taking in Harry’s state. Draco wondered if his skin was bruising yet.

“It was me,” Draco said not realizing what he was doing.

“Oh, don’t you even,” You were scathing at him, your hands clenched again, pain flitting across your face—you definitely hurt your hand then. You turned to Dumbledore. “Harry swung at Draco and I stepped in. I’m the one who did it.”

“Mr. Potter?” Dumbledore raised an ancient eyebrow.

Harry seemed like he was debating whether or not he wanted to admit getting beat up by a girl. The thought made Draco smile, causing his jaw to hurt. He tried to flex it but halted when pain blossomed again.

“That’s what happened,” Harry admitted under his breath.

“And why, Mr. Malfoy, did Potter swing at you?” Dumbledore turned to him, an amused smile lingering on his face.

“I thought that Harry had said something to her that hurt her. She... wasn’t keeping up on homework and it was unlike her. After she turned Harry’s proposal to the dance down, I thought...”

“You turned down Mr. Potter’s proposal to the girl’s choice dance?” The principal turned back to you.

“His, Weasley’s, Cedric’s, Viktor’s,” You muttered, much to Dumbledore’s delight as the older man began to chuckle.

“Had quite a welcome here, haven’t you?”

“You could say that again,” Folding your arms, your face became solemn.

“And do you have a reason for your actions?”

“I don’t like bullies, no matter where they come from,” Confidence founded your voice as you squared your shoulder. Never once had Draco ever heard someone call Harry a bully. The words had always been reversed. Everyone in the school saw the reputation in Draco, never Harry.

“Well, under normal circumstances, I’d have to suspend you and Mr. Potter here, but instead, I’m suspending you from being allowed to the dance this weekend. All three of you,”

“But sir!” Harry argued.

“Not another word Mr. Potter.” Dumbledore rose from his office chair. “My decision is final.”

Three ‘yes sir’s were mumbled as the three of you filed out of the office. You began to walk away, towards your next class Draco assumed, but he caught your non-injured hand, Harry slinking away himself.

“Let me go,” You shrugged him off.

“Wait,” Draco caught up to you, blocking you in the narrow hall of the office. “Look, about what I said,”

“Forget it Draco,” You snapped, and he could see unshed tears in your eyes. “Just leave me alone,” You pressed past him with a bit more force than necessary that had him after you again.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” He called, and you actually paused, your head turning in interest.

“Then what did you mean?” Your voice with thick. “Cuz all I see is a rich little prat who can’t say thank you. Or a self-centered guy who thinks I need someone to fight my battles for me. A high and mighty guy who thinks he can tell me what to do,” Your words were sharp and snarled. “So please, tell me what you meant.” The challenge dripped dangerously from your scowl.

“I...” Draco fumbled for the right words. “I’m not worth getting suspended for,” Your anger turned to confusion, turned sympathy, turned neutral.

“But I’m worth fighting for,” It was a stubborn and bold declaration. “And I know that,” A pause as you turned to leave. “So yeah, I should have done that,”

___________________________

I couldn’t help the tears that streamed down my face as I nearly ran to the parking lot, yearning for the safety of my car. Slamming the door shut, I let out a frustrated yell and slumped in the seat.

The backroads under my tires held a calming solace as I drove the long way home. It was something that New York couldn’t replace: the backroads I had grown up on. With the windows down and the radio blaring, all of my thoughts were tuned out.

At a red light, I found the courage to call my father and explain what happened. He said I was grounded this weekend for fighting, but I didn’t mind much. It got me out of having to go to the dance, even if Dumbledore hadn’t already said I couldn’t. I smiled when my dad told me he was proud for standing up for myself and beating the hell out of Harry.

I found myself smiling as I pulled in at home. Icing my hand and popping some pain killers just in case, I scrolled through my notifications, only answering Hermione. I didn’t care what the school gossiped about or what rumors started because of the fight. Hermione just wanted to know if I was okay and if I’d want her to send the homework from the classes I missed. I told her yes to both and thanked her.

Another notification popped up.

Draco: are you okay? how’s your hand?

I stared at the notification, and instead of deleting the icon like I should have, I opened it and gazed at the words. His mood swings were giving me whiplash. I thought about ignoring it, but he had already seen that I had read it. Cursing modern technology, I responded.

Y/n: fine

Mulling it over, I sent another text.

Y/n: can you send me the chem homework? please

The messages that followed were unexpected. Steady and clear photos of his notes for the day— and week it looked like—as well as the worksheet Snape had given. I felt a pang if gratitude towards Draco in that moment and his words from earlier settled in.

Draco has confronted Harry because he was worried about me. Somehow, he had picked up on how Harry’s words had affected me and driven me into doubt and a few missing homework assignments. Tears sprung back up in my eyes without my consent. It left me regretting the words I had snapped at him earlier. I let him know as much with another text.

Draco: most of it was justified

Draco: I know I’m not the easiest person to know

Y/n: I was still wrong to say it. I’m sorry

Y/n: and you’re not so bad :)

There wasn’t a response from him for half an hour, so I settled down and began to transcribe his notes into my own notebook, then began to untangle the questions that the worksheet gave me. The crumpled note from a few days ago spilled out of my bag. I took it, unfurling it, running my hand over his words. I tucked it in my chemistry binder, smiling softly at his kindness.

Anxiety fluttered in my chest the next day as I drove up to school and parked in my usual spot. I felt torn between two clicks—probably the only two clicks this school had, and I had managed to get caught in the middle of a turf war—the thing that I wanted to escape by moving back in with my dad and I still managed to find myself in the same situations. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I was the problem.

Shaking the thought, I headed to first hour just as the bell rang in my efforts to avoid confrontation. Other than a few approving comments from my sorta friends, no one seemed put out that I had fought their golden boy. It eased my anxiety as the day went on. I was quelled a bit more when I heard that Harry wasn’t in school today. And maybe I smiled at that a bit.

“The jackass deserved it,” Ginny shrugged, “If you hadn’t shown up, I wouldn’t have hesitated either,”

She calmed the majority of my fears with her words unknowingly. If there had been one person I didn’t want to cross it was Ginny—she was fierce and took no prisoners. If the school had a queen bee, it would have been Gin.

“Is your hand alright?” Luna asked during art class. “You seem a bit off your game today,” She noticed my failing live portrait.

Luna was always quiet but observant of others, and it drew me towards the peaceful girl. Her calm nature as well as my fierce need to protect her from bullies kept me as her partner despite the seat changes in Trelawney’s art class. The teacher didn’t seem to care as Luna and I were some of her best students although Luna’s whimsical style contrasted my realistic preference heavily.

“It hurts a bit,” I answered truthfully. “But not enough to cry about,” There were yellow and purplish tinges to my knuckles, but nothing was broken.

“Everyone’s talking about it,” Luna semi-whispered. “Are you and Draco together?”

“No,” I answered a bit more harshly than I meant and refined my answer. “I was tired of Harry being an egotistical ass and dragging me into it,”

“He’s probably just jealous,” Luna gave offhand, adding some shading to her sketch. “Boys are like that,”

“Jealous? Of what?” I scoffed. “He’s with Ginny, and it’s not like I fancy anyone at this school,”

“Yes, I heard about all the failed proposals to the dance.” A smile touched her lips, “Regardless, from the outside, the only person you’ve shown interest in is Draco, and Harry doesn’t like it,”

“Well, he needs to get over it,” I muttered. “I’m not some prize to be won,”

My annoyance didn’t fade as I slumped into my seat at lunch, grateful that Harry was absent today because I might have just gone off on him again. Stupid teenage boys thinking they have some claim over a girl.

Harry was back the next day, looking worse for wear. I went to apologize, but he didn’t allow me too, saying he deserved it and the he was the one who was sorry. I wondered if Ginny had a hand in his apology. Shrugging, I decided it didn’t matter. At least Harry, and maybe everyone else at the small school, knew that I could handle myself.

The weekend passed, and I didn’t notice much. Hermione sent me a few pictures of the dance. They held no interest to me, but at least they were having fun.

On Monday, it seemed that Draco had gone back to ignoring me. At least that’s how it appeared for about the first half of Snape’s lecture. Then every so often I’d catch him staring at me, or my notes. His eyes would quickly dart down when he realized that I had noticed his gazes. It left me frowning and struggling to focus.

It was Wednesday that Hermione and I talked about the calculus test coming up on Friday. I glanced over to Draco, wondering if he’d need help or a study partner for the exam. I wondered if he’d be too proud to ask. Or if I’d be too stubborn to offer.

“Go over there and ask,” Hermione nudged my arm, picking up on my train of thought.

“I shouldn’t,” I shook my head. “Besides, you’d be a better tutor than I am,”

“Yes, but Draco doesn’t like me. You on the other hand,” An amused smile lingered on her face.

“We’re friends,” I insisted. “That’s all,”

“More than it was last week,” She pointed out. “Draco’s always been a stuffy prat, but I see how he is with you. He’s almost... normal.”

My eyes shifted back over to his lunch table, where he was hunched over a book, tuning out the dark-haired girl beside him as she prattled about something adamantly. Something the girl said must have caught Draco’s attention, perhaps she warned him about my gaze, because his eyes met mine. I looked down quickly, my cheeks flushing.

“He’s coming over,” Hermione whispered.

“Stop staring,” I hissed under my breath, breaking my own rule by looking up.

“Can I talk to you?” His voice was quiet and guarded, his eyes sliding over my company.

“What’s up?” I asked casually.

“Alone?”

I looked to Hermione who was saying if I didn’t go, she’d never forgive me with a single look.

“Sure,” I stood, gathering my things and followed him out of the cafeteria and down the halls, to the library. “Did you want help for the calc test Friday?” I asked softly as we sat at the same table as our previous encounter.

“Well, yes,” He chuckled softly. “I... also wanted to talk to you... about last week, and...” His eyes refused to meet mine. I waited in silence for him to continue. “This... this doesn’t have to be anything, and I know you’d probably rather it weren’t... but I’ve never actually...”

I raised my eyebrows, leaning closer to him, the butterflies in my chest growing more restless with each second that passed. They had begun to arrive on the day of the fight, and now it seemed like they were taking flight for the first time.

“You came here a month ago... and in that time have managed to capture every guys heart in this school and then proceeded to turn most of them down. You’ve gotten into fights and out of trouble and you’re really someone I should avoid, but... I don’t want to, not anymore.”

“You think you should avoid me?” The question was soft on my lips. His eyes flashed to mine in brief panic.

“Again, not what you think,” He sighed and scrubbed his face, then proceeded to wince at the pain that no doubt was triggered by his action. “I should avoid you because if I’m being honest, I’m not much better than Harry, and I wouldn’t be someone you’d want to be with. And it would make it easier for the both of us if I avoided you.”

“Cards on the table then?” I mused softly and he nodded, begging my candor. “I know what they say about you. And I have my own opinions, but...” I paused and smiled. “You are the first guy who hasn’t acted like an arrogant jackass to me,” Then mended, “At least in a way that hasn’t made me want to deck you,”

“That’s comforting,” A smile reached his eyes this time.

“And... if it had to be anyone... I’d probably want it to be you,” This surprised him, told by the expression on his face. “In terms of intelligence, I feel semi-confident to say that you wouldn’t drive me mad with your lack of knowledge, because most of the kids at this school are so dull,” I muttered then continued. “You’ve been kind to me, and never pushed me into doing anything I haven’t wanted to do,”

“So, you wanted to beat the shit out of Potter then?” The same smile turned to a grin.

“It was bound to happen eventually,” I chuckled softly. “You gave me a valid excuse, to which I thank you,”

“Shouldn’t I be thanking you? For ya know, being my knight in shining armor coming to my rescue?”

I laughed at his words and shook my head at his antics.

“Does that make you my damsel in distress?” It never occurred to me how easy it might be to talk to Draco, considering we’d barely said a word to each other since my arrival.

“If I must be,” He feigned distaste, the smile not leaving his face long enough to convince me of his façade.

A silence fell between us.

“Is this something then?” His words were riddled with uncertainty.

“It’s not nothing,” I offered. “But I don’t know what it is yet.”

“Would you be willing to see what it is?” Draco’s voice turned hopeful.

“If you’re willing to be patient,” My eyes met his grey ones, storms above the seas held in them. “I don’t really... date. Flings and a list of exes isn’t really on my bucket list ya know?”

“Understandable,” His smile returning. “Not that I prefer them either,”

I sighed softly. “People are gonna talk, if they’re not already,” It was a defeating thought.

“Let them talk,” Draco shrugged, lost in thought. “That’s all they do. No matter where you go,”

“It’s a bit worse in a small town,” I challenged.

“I’ll give you that,” He chuckled. “But things are a bit less scandalous in a small town,”

“Granted,” I thought of New York and how the smallest things morphed into rumors and gossip that took down empires. Here, in the middle of nowhere our problems seemed almost trivial.

“So,” He raised an eyebrow at me, awaiting my verdict.

“So,” I mimicked. “This... this can be something,”

______________________________

Draco had never once thought of dating. Ever. Whereas Pansy couldn’t wait to have her next summer love, Draco... he was reserved. Not that he ever held it against Pansy, and of course he was there to curse the name of her exes with her, but him dating? It was laughable.

He could claim that ‘you weren’t like other girls,’ but it’d be a lie. You were just the perfect mix of being like other girls that appealed to him so much. The girls he had passed in the halls for years and never once felt attraction to were now suddenly a bit more interesting. Granger had calculus with you and was very good at the subject, sharing your passion for it. Ginny had the same fire in her eyes as you did when you were angry. Even Lovegood seemed less like a spaz and a bit more down to earth in the few passing moments that he saw her when picking you up from art class.

“I might warn you,” he whispered gently the next day, hand in yours as you headed to the cafeteria. “Pansy has been dying to talk to you... so heads up,”

A laugh fell through your lips as he opened the door for you, the cafeteria, once buzzing solemnly was now almost hushed as eyes turned to the couple at the door.

“Oi! Malfoy!”

Draco tensed at the curt calling of his name but relaxed when you smiled and waved to Ginny.

“Come sit with us,” The redhead offered. “No need in you taking Y/n away from us,”

“Get Pansy,” You smiled, letting his hand go as you went to drop your stuff at the table before heading toward the lunch line.

“Can I talk to her now?” Pansy demanded.

“She’s all yours,” Draco chuckled, trailing behind his dark-haired friend, a smile resting on his face as you entertained all of Pansy’s question with unbelievable grace.

Tensions were high as Draco sat with you at your usual lunch table, Pansy on his other side, but it seemed that you, Ginny, and Hermione had the boys under control, so nothing more than loathsome glares were exchanged before the conversation settled into something pleasant.

It took a couple weeks, but the bruises on your hand and his jaw faded, then soon Harry’s broken nose was healed, and it was as if nothing had ever happened. As if it were preposterous that your group ever had animosity against another.

True to your word and his, it wasn’t exactly dating. He dedicated a lot of his effort to figuring out what you were comfortable with and what you weren’t. Something that appealed to both of you was holding hands in the hallways. The gawking faces of those around you seemed to keep a smile on your face. You had tamed the rich prat and he had tamed the spitfire in their eyes. And perhaps he was a bit kinder to those around him. And maybe you weren’t as volatile. Maybe you had finally settled into the small town.

Slowly it seemed, you sifted into the role of a girlfriend—well, whatever the equivalent was for you and him. It took some coaxing and a compromise, but you allowed him to pick you up and drive you to school—three out of five days of the week. He looked forward to those mornings and didn’t mind leaving earlier as long as you were at the end of the road under his tires. You were defiant about him paying for things, mundane things like lunch or random gifts, so he tried to keep it at a minimum, or at least didn’t let on how much he had spent on you.

Draco was never one for physical affection. His parents had been distant and reserved. Closed off. He wasn’t bitter about it, but he was worried that it might affect how he was around you. But it seems that you were a bit standoffish as well. The abrasion faded over time, but it was still never over abundant. You held his hand, that was easy and almost routine for the both of you, and though he hadn’t kissed you yet, displays of make outs in the halls never appealed to any part of him. Ever.

But he wouldn’t forget the first time you kissed him. It was a quiet night at your place after you two had studied for Snape’s final. You declared if you looked at another carbon bond you were going to scream, so you slammed your binder shut and led him to the old sofa and pulled him down, both of you nestled beside another as you flickered through TV stations, settling on something that held half your interest.

His arm draped around your shoulder, a gentle sign of affection that you returned by resting your head on his shoulder, your arm stretching across his stomach, holding him. His hand absentmindedly played in your hair, earning soft sounds of agreement from your lips as he continued. Your exhausted face in the TV light held all of his interest. The way your eyelashes fluttered eleven your eyes changed focus, or the way you worried your lip now and again almost thoughtlessly. Never knowing that it drove him mad.

Draco called your name softly, earning your attention. Your faces were inches apart and he could feel your soft breaths mix with his. Your eyes searched his for something—what exactly he wasn’t sure. But you must have decided that whatever you found was enough, because you leaned up and closed the distance between your lips and his.

He smiled at the moment and the ones that followed. The desire that built in his chest and the gentle pant of need that left your lips, flushing across his as you pulled away.

“Thank you,” You had murmured.

He smiled at you simple gratitude and wondered why you thought it necessary. Did you believe that he didn’t want to kiss you? That you weren’t constantly in his psyche? Imagining how soft and warm your skin must be? Wondering if the rest of you was worked and scarred like your hands from years of use?

Not knowing what you were thinking—or why he was for that matter—he pulled you into his lap as the two of you sat on the couch, cradling you close, letting you know that he craved your affection though he wasn’t the best at portraying the ideal.

You had fallen asleep in his lap that night. When your dad came in to check on the two of you, Draco thought your father would be furious but instead he smiled and suggested that Draco carry you to your room so that you could stretched out on your bed and sleep for the night. Those were the few moments that Draco had ever been in your room. It was one of your fathers rules—which he humbly agreed to. The sight made him smile. It was perfectly you. An organized chaos of all of your favorite things.

You barely noticed him setting you into your bed and pulling the covers over your shoulders after removing you shoes.

He preferred your home over his. It took about two months before you coaxed him into the idea of meeting his parents formally. Draco was terrified, knowing that his parents disapproved just about everyone in the town they lived in, save a few families. He wasn’t sure how they felt about the divorcee and his daughter living on the outskirts of town.

“You understand how much of a bad idea this is?” Draco hissed as he walked you up the front steps of the pristine farmhouse—it was the last attempt he made before it was too late to back out.

“They’re just your parents,” You took his hand, saying the words nonchalantly.

“That’s why I’m worried! They’re my parents!” He dismayed.

“Dray, love, it’s gonna be okay,” You reassured, and he couldn’t argue with the honesty in your eyes.

You’d never stop surprising him. He didn’t think ever. He knew his parents were hard people to entertain. There were thousands of unspoken rules that they forced him to follow and you picked up on them as easily as you knew calculus. Sit one way, speak another, you blended in flawlessly. Your persona differed from the one he knew, but it was still perfectly you.

“And you moved here? From New York?” His father eyed you skeptically.

“Father—” A cold look silenced Draco.

“Yes sir,” Your smile was sweet and conniving.

“Was the city not satisfactory for you?”

“It had a certain charm,” You spoke softly. “But I didn’t want to give my teenage years to a concrete jungle when I could call here my home,”

“Well,” Draco’s mother cut in before his father had a change to reply. “You sure do have quite a spirit in you. I can see what our Draco likes about you,”

You smiled and looked over at him. The blush on your cheeks matched his.

“Thank you,”

Lunch came and passed. If it was out of the ordinary in any way to you, you gave no sign.

You did however, pause, gazing at his grand piano that sat in the drawing room, your face pensive.

“You play?” He mused, curious. You hadn’t let on if your hidden talent.

“Not very well,” You muttered back. “It’s been years.”

“Y/n, do you play my dear?” His mother cut in. “You must play for us,”

“I...” Glancing at the piano, you caught your lip in worry.

“Mother, if she isn’t comfortable, she doesn’t have to,” Draco defended.

“No, it’s alright... you must forgive me, it’s been a few years since I’ve played properly.”

The shy smile on your face didn’t fade as you made your way to the instrument. He shadowed you all the while, asking one more time before you began to play.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Your smile turned warmer. “It’ll be alright.”

Draco watched as you placed your hands on the glossy white keys and fell into a pattern as they searched for the next note, the next chord, the next verse. And you kept forging ahead until your piece had come to an end. Draco should have known that you’d lie about having the talent tucked away.

“That was lovely,” His mother fawned from somewhere behind. “Draco you must play with her,”

The eyebrow you raised at him informed him that maybe he also hid the talent from you unintentionally. Who did you think the piano belonged to?

“Any ideas?” He muttered softly, placing his hands on the keys next to yours.

“Moonlight Sonata?” It was a simple request, and one that he knew decently enough to nod.

Draco began the repetitive harmony as you waited for the melody and joined him. Your fingers played in time and in tune as the song unfolded—your hands trailing along the treble clef and his adding in the deeper bass tones.

It wasn’t until one of his hands ran into yours that the dance faltered, and four hands banged on the keys in frustration. Draco laughed at the simple fact that you had the same response to making a mistake as he did while playing. Your soft laughter joined his.

Someone cleared their throat behind him, and you both turned, meeting the scrutinizing gaze of his father. Draco looked down anxious and respectful and you followed suit, your hand finding his in reassurance.

“Perhaps if you two had more time to practice together, you two wouldn’t be tripping over another.” His father mused.

“Father?” Draco looked up. “Does that mean?”

“Yes, she is welcomed here any time she wishes.” His father gave a small smile.

Relief flooded through both of you. Draco might have even slouched momentarily.

Masterlist

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demonslayedher · 3 years

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Any Kny character you've grown to love/appreciate more??

Thanks for waiting, Anon, I have been trying to really, really hard to narrow this down, but the answer remains: the vast majority of the cast. The only character I loved right away was Tanjiro and that love kept me watching, as with almost every new character I was like, "ugh, I hate this guy. Here I was, having fun being emotionally invested in a high quality anime, and this might ruin it for me." But then the instant I see a different side of their character, I'm like, "...Oh." To go into some examples...

Zenitsu: I could not stand him right away, I hate womanizers, and his conniptions would go on so long that they held up the story. But Gotouge/Ufotable strung me along perfectly, the first glimpse of Thunder Breath made me immediately pay attention and think, "oh, that was cool. I want to see more of that." Seeing him protect the box pretty firmly put him in the "I need to protect this child" box in my heart. And then the spider demon happens, and I'm sending desperate reaction messages to a friend like "NOOOOOO!!!! BABBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYY!!!!" And then he annoyed me all over again at the start of Functional Recovery, ahaha. It's hard to remember how annoyed I was because I'm such a Zen Stan now, and he was a very firm favorite of mine by the time I finished binging the anime up to the last couple episodes, which I waited for as they came out. Inosuke: He was one of the reasons I was curious about the series, I saw some promotional art and was super curious about Nezuko's muzzle (I was one of the people who thought it was some ancient scroll or something, haha) and the kid with the boar mask. The art I saw showed his face, and I assumed he'd be some kid with a cracking voice performed by a female seiyuu. As much as I love Matsuoka's performance now, initially, since I knew what his face looked like, I found it grossly off-putting the moment I heard it. Then every chaotic thing Inosuke did dug a deeper hole; I very quickly decided I hated him, especially when he started beating up on the kid I was starting to like. As his chaos subsided he just became a character I tolerated, and then this happened:

Images you can hear, am I right? This immediately flipped the "BABY" switch in my heart. It was also a lot of fun to understand the Inosuke memes I was seeing everywhere. So by the end of the anime, I loved, loved, loved, loved the Tanjiro/Zenitsu/Inosuke interactions and desperately wanted more (still didn't like how Zenitsu bothered Nezuko, though). I was so impatient for more, but the manga art looked disappointingly off-putting. I figured the anime was successful enough that there'd eventually be more of it, and I wanted to be patient, but then I poked around, read some spoilers, got back into Tumblr to look at fanart and memes, saw a spoiler image of Tanjiro affected by Muzan's poison and the binge-read began. (That's kind of a lie, but I'll get to that.) Let's back up a few episodes. There I was, having a great time, the guy who I forgot about from Episode 1 was back and haha, I guess everyone hates him, and the chick who I figured was going to be a medic who saves Zenitsu in the nick of time turned out to be savage, awesome. I was sending reactions to my friends who were ahead of me, and then we left off seeing the Pillars staring down Best Boy. And I...

Well. Uh. Here, I've dug up an old convo for you, my comments are in blue.

Immediately followed by a passionate vocal rant, which I have transcribed here:

“I feel like what happened was that the mangaka was sitting around with his assistants and was like, ‘welp, gotta make this whole cast of characters, they gotta be so-o-o-o many more levels of extreme than all the other characters I’ve had so far, which isn’t hard, because all of the background characters are cannon fodder and I’ve just gotta leave them all with black hair and no personality traits. So! Gotta go to the opposite of the spectrum with the BIG! POWERFUL! People so no-o-o-body can be normal.’ And so he and his assistants sat down, and they all wrote down just random words or traits, and them put ‘em all in a hat. And then for each character, they pulled out a few of them and said, ‘OK. We’re gonna put these things together, now we have a character.’ And he was probably also like, ‘Iiiiiiiiiiiii’ll flesh them out later. For now, they just need t’… be there, and make an impact. How do we make an impact? By making sure it’s super, super clear what their character traits are. Here, we’ll have this guy repeat the word //HADE//…. ////HA DEEE//// over and over and over… to show that he’s a /showy/ person. Because he /cares/ about that. And he //should// care because that is his character and that’s why he’s powerful.’ OH MY GOSH, it’s so dumb.”

......orz I feel like Genya looking back at how he acted at the end of the Final Selection. I'm sorry, Gotouge, I had not even encountered your love for these characters yet in your little alligator form. Nor had I encountered the yet unseen-sides of these traumatized dragons and tigers. ...*coughs* Um. So. I was pretty harsh.

So this was my mindset, I went into the manga not caring about most of these characters and just wanting more Kamaboko squad interactions and wanting to hurry up and catch up to the battle with Muzan. And it's worth stating that I didn't mean to read it at first. I encountered a few spoilers, and just wanted to look for the context surrounding those parts, and then hunt for the (non-existent) build-up to those parts, and so... uh.........

I read a lot of the manga out of order, and yeah, that did affect how much I cared about what was going on. I didn't actually properly process a lot of it until later re-reads. But to try to state some things simply about each Pillar:

Giyuu: He was just 'ok' to me for a long time, I could see the appeal for why people I knew were fangirling over him but he didn't do it for me. His soft spot for Tanjiro was indeed endearing, though, and I firmly liked him by the time chapter 200 came out and I was properly heartbroken on his behalf.

Shinobu: She was intriguing, and then I liked her as soon as I saw her savage side, she was one of the characters I went hunting for spoilers for.

Rengoku: That stare really put me off at first, but I fell for him over the process of Tanjiro falling for him. When I first finished the train arc I sat back and said, "wow! That's going to make for a good movie!" and then in psyching myself out for the movie several months in advance, I fell hook, line, and sinker and was totally excited for him each time I saw the trailers. And then the movie was *stunning* and I love him even more. Uzui: He was the Pillar I hated most upon first meeting them. I blame the repeated use of his catchphrase. But then when he let his hair down to sell the kiddos the change in design helped warm me up more to him, like, "oh, there was a human in there." It took a long time for him to become more interesting to me, and an uncharacteristically subtle journey to becoming a character I liked. I am currently getting more and more psyched out for him and eager to see how much more I'm going to like him with the shiny Ufotable treatment. Mitsuri: At first I didn't remember her name, I had code-named her as "Boobs." But I kinda had a feeling she was going to grow on me quickly, and I was right, she's one of my easy favorites now. Muichiro: Who? Oh yeah, that kid who always kinda fell to the wayside in my attention. I'd see a lot of Muichiro-themed blogs and hear a lot of little girls looking at merch and showing a clear favoritism of him, and I'd like always react like Muichiro and just be like, "...", and then when I read his major battles I was more emotionally invested in things going on concurrently with other characters, and I was still like, "...", and then two days ago I revisited a Muichiro scene and was suddenly like, "......OH!!! MUICHIRO!!!!!" Himejima: I never really hated Himejima, even if I found his first impression kind of wimpy (haha... oh, I was so wrong). I had a pretty easy acceptance of him too, so I would generally count him among characters I like, but if you were to ask me why, I'd draw a blank. It's kind of a weirdly mature, subdued appreciation for him rather than passionate fangirling. But weirdly when I was daydreaming the other day I found myself thinking, "if I had to marry someone in the KnY cast, it would be Himejima." So like, not a fiery romance, but I see him as my dependable, sturdy rock to grow old with??? What is up with you, sub-conscious?? Iguro: My interest in him rises and falls. Being a Mitsuri fan helped warm me up to his character in the first place, which was the emotional tie I needed since his backstory didn't grip me much (I found it a frustrating distraction while I was desperately reading weekly updates). Reading more subtle details about his character in the fanbooks has brought me around and made me more curious about him, like I'd really like to be a fly on the wall for the conversation he had with Uzui one day about their pasts.

Sanemi: Hahaha, wow. He was so unlikable in the beginning, wasn't he? His character design (yeah, the eyes) was really off-putting too. But then I got to know him and there was no going back, I got totally played. He's a character I'm pretty fond of now and one of the characters I've enjoyed delving into most in fanfic. To keep this answer from getting too long, for the vaaaaaast majority of the cast, I was initially like, "meh" or "OK" or "ew" but now am like, "EEEEEEEEE, I LOVE THIS TOTALLY RANDOM UNIMPORTANT SIDE CHARACTERRRRRRR" so you know... times change. And the more time I spend obsessed with Kimetsu no Yaiba, the more I like them all, so even the characters I'm lukewarm on will probably have their eventual days when they take over my heart and smash it.

#what do I even tag this?#it's not meta or nerdery #it's just me being a fangirl #Kimetsu no Yaiba #Demon Slayer

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osakaso5 · 3 years

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La Danse Macabre Rabbit TV Part 3: The Third Intermission

Part 4

Riku Nanase: .......

Iori Izumi: .......

Toma Inumaru: ...W-what's with the heavy atmosphere..?

Toma Inumaru: H-hey, Kujo. Aren't you Riku's big bro? You could at least talk to him a little...

Tenn Kujo: ...Sigh... They're probably just moping over their roles.

Tenn Kujo: Leave them be. Otherwise, they'll get you involved, too.

Toma Inumaru: Get me involved how..?

Riku Nanase: Um, Toma-san!

Toma Inumaru: Uaagh!?

Riku Nanase: This tea, Iori... I mean, Kabane... no, wait...

Riku Nanase: Please give this to Iori, who plays the role of Kabane!

Toma Inumaru: Huh!? W-why me!?

Riku Nanase: Well, you're Konoe, aren't you!?

Toma Inumaru: Yeah, so!?

Iori Izumi: Ugh...

Iori Izumi: Nanase-san, how long are you going to keep doing this?

Riku Nanase: ...D-doing what..?

Tenn Kujo: I was wondering about that, too. I know it's important to get in character, but you're taking it too far, Riku.

Riku Nanase: Tenn-nii...

Iori Izumi: For once, I agree with you, Kujo-san.

Tenn Kujo: Weird. I was just about to say the same thing to you.

Toma Inumaru: W-wait, what? Do these two not get along..?

Riku Nanase: ...Mmh... But it's so hard to get in and out of character...

Riku Nanase: There's so much I want to talk to Iori about! But...

Riku Nanase: Since my character needs to ignore him all the time, it's really tough.

Iori Izumi: I-I see. Well... I suppose I understand how you feel, considering how different this drama is from the others we've done...

Toma Inumaru: Right... At least I've got an easy role. Kujo, isn't it tough for you to play Vida?

Iori Izumi: I'd like to know, as well.

Tenn Kujo: ...I've never had a hard time with a role.

Toma Inumaru: ...Seriously..?

Tenn Kujo: Though there have been times when I've needed to put in more work than usual.

Tenn Kujo: Projects like this usually have a huge crew behind them. I don't want any of their hard work to go to waste because of me.

Tenn Kujo: And, I need to understand exactly why I was given the role of Vida in the first place.

Riku Nanase: Why you were given that role...

Tenn Kujo: Your roles come with their own hardships.

Toma Inumaru: Haha. Yeah, because of the whole immortality thing...

Riku Nanase: The first thing I thought about was how it'd feel to be a former Celestial, who's had to live for a really long time.

Riku Nanase: I kind of wished I couldn't die, either...

Iori, Tenn, & Toma: .......

Riku Nanase: But that would mean that all the sad parts of life would always stay with me, too. And that would probably be really painful...

Iori Izumi: ...I think so, too. You could only watch as the world changes around you...

Iori Izumi: If we didn't have Konoe, our spirits would have been completely broken down.

Toma Inumaru: Haha, he's a pretty nice dude, after all!

Tenn Kujo: I'd go so far as to call him the friendliest guy in the entire La Danse Macabre cast.

Toma Inumaru: Y-you would!?

Tenn Kujo: Heh. He's the only one who doesn't have some negative quirk or another.

Iori Izumi: ...Qual was very intense... That shoot from the other day gave me goosebumps.

Tenn Kujo: Ryu's looks are usually what catches people's attention, so his acting skills get ignored a lot of the time.

Tenn Kujo: He can put on quite the performance.

Riku Nanase: So could you, Tenn-nii! I've never heard you laugh so creepily before...

Tenn Kujo: Thank you. I think there's something really appealing about the tone you speak in while in character, too.

Tenn Kujo: You should be more confident in your performance.

Riku Nanase: ......! Okay..!

Toma Inumaru: You got a compliment from your bro, Riku. Good for you.

Riku Nanase: Ehehe.

Tenn Kujo: Hey, can you stop calling me his "bro" already?

Iori Izumi: Exactly. And just so you know, the fixation he has on his brother is NOT a good thing.

Tenn Kujo: And why is that?

Iori Izumi: You know why.

Toma Inumaru: You're arguing again!?

Riku Nanase: Sorry, Iori! You must be feeling left out, since nobody said anything nice about your performance.

Iori Izumi: Excuse me!?

Riku Nanase: I thought you were really cool! Your hooded appearance and the monotone voice you used made you seem super shady!

Iori Izumi: You think it's cool to act shady..?

Toma Inumaru: Yeah, plus Kabane's a literal king! You're always such a polite kid, it's nice to see how differently you act as him!

Riku Nanase: The way Konoe talks fit you really well, Toma-san! It was so informal!

Toma Inumaru: Haha, thanks!

Riku Nanase: ...Ah, I went and said something nice about someone else's performance again, Iori. Sorry...

Iori Izumi: Why do you think I care!?

Tenn Kujo: Heh. You can be pretty cute sometimes, Iori Izumi.

Iori Izumi: Huh..?

Toma Inumaru: Uh, anyway..! All that moving around sure gave me a craving for something sweet!

Toma Inumaru: You guys like sweets, right? Maybe you could introduce me to a place where I could get some.

Riku Nanase: Oh, that's a great idea! What kind of sweets do you like, Toma-san!?

Toma Inumaru: ...Uh... I'm actually not one for sugary stuff, I just happened to be in the mood for sweets today...

Toma Inumaru: That's why I need help from you guys!

Tenn Kujo: ...Who told you that we like sweets?

Toma Inumaru: Huh? A-are you saying you don't!? I read in a magazine that you like donuts, Kujo, and Izumi's family owns a bakery, so I just assumed...

Iori Izumi: ...I didn't know you paid so much attention to us.

Toma Inumaru: ...Of course I did. We're work buddies, aren't we?

Tenn Kujo: Are we, now?

Riku Nanase: Ah..! We should all go visit Iori's family's shop!

Riku Nanase: Right, Iori!?

Iori Izumi: ...Fine. We'll cause less trouble if we go someplace familiar, instead of wandering around town, where everyone can see us.

Riku Nanase: Will you come with us, Tenn-nii?

Tenn Kujo: I guess I will. This sort of stuff isn't too bad, in moderation.

Riku Nanase: Yay!

Riku Nanase: Toma-san, Iori's family makes the yummiest cakes ever! And not all of them are really sugary, either!

Toma Inumaru: S-sure..! Thanks for having me, Izumi.

Iori Izumi: You're welcome. I'll let them know ahead of time.

Iori Izumi: ...But before that, we need to take our behind-the-scenes photo.

Riku Nanase: Our behind-the-scenes photo?

Toma Inumaru: Ah... Come to think of it, Tora and Mina took those, too.

Tenn Kujo: I was just about to bring that up, myself.

Riku Nanase: Really? I feel like you don't usually take pictures like this! Your fans will be so happy.

Tenn Kujo: Yeah. And I want to make this project even a little bit easier for them to watch.

Iori Izumi: How should we pose?

Riku Nanase: Pose... Toma-san, you seem like you're good at coming up with this stuff!

Toma Inumaru: As in, coming up with poses..? Hmm... Maybe like this?

Tenn Kujo: Very rock 'n' roll.

Iori Izumi: TOO rock 'n' roll. Rejected.

Toma Inumaru: Wow, you guys are really strict...

Tenn Kujo: Let's just act natural. Everyone do a pose you feel comfortable in.

Iori Izumi: Right. It'll make the picture look strange if we try too hard.

Toma Inumaru: So why'd you make me suggest anything in the first place..?

Riku Nanase: Alright! Let's do this!

All: Peace!

End of Part 3.

#idolish7 #la danse macabre #translation #rabbit tv

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incorrectlumityquotes · 3 years

Text

FULL REVIEWS: “Hooty’s Moving Hassle”

I’ve only seen Howl’s Moving Castle once and I thought it was just okay. The animation was amazing. The story and characters were just...okay. But we’re not here to talk about that today.

A Hooty centric episode? Count me in, hoot hoot. The hype train just keeps on going and I was so glad that I found my new favorite show. AND my niece loved it too, so that’s a huge plus. The only thing that I was sure about this episode going in way back when was that Gus and Willow were going to be in it. Let’s check it out and see if it’s still as good as I remember it, hoot hoot.

“Cards! The paper rectangles that old people think are fun.”

Hot damn, Luz. The episode just started and she’s already out firing shots. But to be fair, she did grow up with smartphones and game consoles being a thing so I doubt she sees the appeal. Do kids even still play with toys anymore? Or do they all just play on tablets now? Probably why Toys R’ Us closed.

Speaking of things that can only happen in this generation, callbacks and continuity! Eda’s curse is rearing its feathery head and like the irresponsible adult that she is, she’s out of elixir, hoot hoot.

It’s not our full introduction to Owlbert, but at least he gets some screen time where he actually moves and stuff. I totally get where Luz and King are coming from. When a friend discovers they’re really good at a game and they want to play it all they time because they like winning but it’s super annoying and you always lose because it’s not a game you would ever play on your own, hoot hoot. Yeah. Eda is that friend.

People watching in a fantasy world would actually be a fun little way to do some worldbuilding, but I’m afraid some people would call it lazy. We get a bunch of set-up for the third act and then the spice of life returns, hoot hoot.

“Who hurt my babies?”

Hyper fangirl Luz spots her babies wearing frowny faces thanks to Amity and her little group. Apparently Amity’s forced friend brigade is going to have a moonlight conjuring which is basically just a slumber party. It’s literally exactly like a slumber party. I have proof. Just check out this video and see that slumber parties are just modern witch gatherings.

Thanks to Luz though, Willow has enough friends to have a moonlight conjuring of her own. Wow, typing out that sentences actually made me feel really sad. Willow is a sweeties and she deserves the world. Okay I feel better, hoot hoot.

Also Penstagram? Really? Like freaking really? I hate Instagram. The feed is never in chronological order, I don’t know what “link in the bio” means and I never have enough pictures to just be on there. I mean, who freaking takes pictures for everything all the time? It’s a madhouse, I tell you. A madhouse, hoot hoot.

Like Owlbert, this is our kinda introduction to Boscha and her crew. It’s not a full introduction, but it’s not like we’re not going to see more of her later. There’s Skara again and Cat. Thank you, Owl House wikia.

Eda’s dealer suggests going to the Night Market to pick up what she needs and shoots down Luz’s moonlight conjuring idea. But Luz isn’t going to let something small like a parent’s permission stop her from helping her friends, hoot hoot. So Luz pulls the laziest plot device in all of fiction and lies.

Sleeping King in a baby sling and Willow saying “I’m a sneaky sneakster” hoot hoot? This episode is all kinds of cute.

Eda heads to the night market and Luz has her little slumber party. A sad thought just occurred. What if this is also Luz’s first slumber party too? Her mom did say that she didn’t have any friends. I made myself sad again, hoot hoot.

Luz, ever the good host, tries to accommodate her friends and they get to work on the moonlight conjuring. Luz chanting that she doesn’t know the words made me laugh. Especially because I’d do the same thing.

Side note, but Gus insisting that Beefy Bob is a figurine is just kinda funny. All I kept thinking about was the difference between action figures, dolls, and figurines. Dolls don’t move but you play with them. Action figures do stuff and you play with them. Figurines don’t move and you don’t play with them, hoot hoot. “A real man never takes accountability” is hilarious and unfortunately true.

“Light as a feather; stiff as a board. Light as a feather; stiff as a board.”

“Something ridiculous this way comes, hoot hoot.”

And just like that, our heroes conjure the whole house. How? Why? Never mind that shit, here comes Bosha! And the set up from early in the episode, hoot hoot.

Meanwhile at the night market, Eda meets the recurring villain of the series. I like to call these guys jobber villains.

For those who don’t know, a “jobber” is a pro wrestling term. It’s a guy who is hired to just lose to the big name guys. I use the term “jobber villain” to describe any antagonist who isn’t the main villain who is used frequently to lose to the heroes. Think Team Rocket in Pokémon, Dr Light in Teen Titans, Ludo in Star vs the Forces of Evil, etc, you get the idea.

Tibbles hustles Eda over the Hexes Hold ‘em game and we get a bunch of funny ass jokes that I dare not ruin for you. The two plots cross for just long enough for Luz and co to get busted.

I have concerns, hoot hoot.

Meanwhile, back in the other failed moonlight conjuring, the moonlight conjuring has failed. The girls do what every young girl would do in that situation and complain on social media. Amity gets a really cool shot that I don’t have and the episode ends with a hint that someone on our main trio is more powerful then they are letting on.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

This episode is funny as hell. That’s the main highlight for me here. There are so many good jokes especially since it’s my type of dialogue humor.

Lots of character work. The reveal that Willow and Amity used to be friends adds depth to both characters, making the relationship a bit more complex than just bully-victim scenario.

I love it whenever Luz speaks Spanish. As a Hispanic guy myself, I’m really happy about this kind of representation. This plus Marco Diaz.

We kinda get introductions to several characters who play bigger parts in later episodes. Bosch and Owlbert get soft intros while Tibbles takes the center stage as the episode’s main villain.

I’ve never been to a slumber party but I doubt they’re as fun as this.

I forgot what the next episode is so I don’t have a lead up line for it...hoot.

#the owl house #my works #full review #full reviews

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luke-patterson-owns-my-soul · 3 years

Text

Unsaid Emily

Title: Unsaid Emily - Charlie x Reader

Words: 4,698

Summary: Y/N is one of the songwriters working on Julie and the Phantoms and cowrote Unsaid Emily. When she has to work with Charlie, sparks fly.

Requested: Only by my idiot brain

TW: None

Author’s notes: I mean no offence to the writers of Unsaid Emily, but I needed it to be this way. Also, I know Charlie just got his car, but it fit my timeline. I hope you like it.

Credit: @nikascott

Receiving the call from Netflix to write a song for a kids’ TV show about a ghost band, you were hesitant, but your friend Dan talked you into it. You had written as a duo before – you wrote lyrics while he conjured up what you personally considered the most beautiful melodies – but this job was just for you.

The brief you’d been given by the show runners didn’t give much away. A song for a runaway son to perform for his estranged mother after his death. The only other information given was that his mother’s name is Emily. Usually, you like vague briefs such as this, but without knowing more, you struggle.

After speaking to one of the showrunners, you’re invited to meet the writers for more information, so you drive down to where the legendary Kenny Ortega is putting the cast through their paces at a band bootcamp. You’ve worked with Kenny before, so when you arrive, he welcomes you with a smile and a hug before the two of you disappear to discuss the song you’re struggling with.

“Why don’t I introduce you to Charlie who’s playing Luke. He’s had intensive discussions with the writers and myself about his character and may have some insight on what kind of things Luke would want to say to his mom.” Kenny suggests rather than only speaking to the writers.

“That would be great, but only if you can spare him for a few minutes.”

“It’s not a problem. Hey, come and grab some lunch with me, I’ll introduce you, and then you can get the information you need.” You loved Kenny and wanted to write the best possible song for his show you could. Standing, you grab your bag before following him out and over to catering.

As soon as Kenny enters the large room, he’s called out to and waved at. With a wide smile, he responds to everyone as the two of you grab some food and sit at an empty table. While you eat, you discuss the show, and Kenny’s hopes for it.

“It may be aimed at a younger demographic, but I want it to appeal to all ages.” He stated as you’re joined by a group of kids so good looking, they can only be the cast. “Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s one of the songwriters we’ve commissioned. Charlie, once you’ve finished up with lunch, could you spare her ten minutes to chat with her about Luke?” The cast members all say hi before returning to their food. It’s clear to you they’re all creating friendships as they laugh together. But Charlie isn’t getting involved as he looks at you. You can’t help but stare at the actor as his hazel eyes lock onto yours, a small smile on his face as he nods.

“Sure, no problem.” He smiles wider and you almost choke on your food. Kenny looks over at you, a strange smile on his face.

:: ::

“Hi, you needed to talk to me?” Charlie moves along the table once everyone has left to get back to work. You look over at him, noticing how young he looks. From what Kenny’s told you about the cast, you’re not much older than him, but with his short hair and boyish smile, he looks a lot younger than he is.

“Hey, yeah. I just want some insight into the character of Luke.”

“Which song are you writing?” He asks, genuinely interested. He leans his chin on his hand waiting for you to answer.

“The one he writes for his mom after he runs away.”

“Oh, wow. Tough break.” You can’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I guess.”

You pull a notebook out of you bag and open it to a page where you’d scribbled some questions about the character.

For half an hour, the two of you sit, chatting about the show, about Charlie’s character, and by the time you finish up, you’re pretty satisfied that you can head home and make the song work. After thanking Charlie for his time, you pack your notebook away, ready to go out to your car and drive home.

“Do you fancy coming and watching a rehearsal before you leave?” He asks, rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand. You really shouldn’t, you need to get back home to start working, but you’re intrigued by him. Throughout your talk, you were impressed with the passion he has for both music and acting, but more than anything, the character he’s going to be portraying.

“Sure, but I can’t stay long. I have a song to write for you.” You grin as you follow him out of catering and into the rehearsal space. Immediately, Kenny calls you over where he’s sat with the young girl playing the lead role. She’s listening to a piece of music you don’t recognize.

“All good?” He asks when you join him.

“Great. I should be able to get a rough cut over to you by the end of the week. Is that okay?”

“Fabulous, I look forward to hearing what you come up with. Ready to see these amazing kids rock out before you go?”

“Am I ever.”

“Guys, let’s run through Now or Never.” Kenny calls out. Charlie and his bandmates grab their instruments while the young girl you now know as Madison turns the music off and leaves the stage area.

As the three guys rock out, you can’t help but watch Charlie. He’s a natural lead singer who commands the stage, even in rehearsal, and you know his fanbase is going to explode once the show airs. You take note of his singing range, mentally adding it to the notes you made earlier.

“Kenny, you’re onto a winner with this show,” you tell the director as the song ends. “I’m gonna head out and get started. I’ll let you know once we have something for you.”

Kenny hugs you before turning his attention back to the actors and starts directing them to lead into another track as you exit the room. As you reach your car, you hear footsteps behind you.

“Y/N, are you leaving?” You turn to see Charlie standing behind you.

“I have a song to write, the final one y’all need if I might add.” You smile at him, pulling your keys out of your bag.

“I can’t wait to hear it.”

“Well, I better make it a great track then, huh?” Your words made Charlie grin widely again and you couldn’t help but think how beautiful it was.

“You’re the only one to ask about the characters, so I have no doubt it’ll be amazing.”

His words didn’t surprise you. You were a bit of a method songwriter, needing to get into the correct headspace when writing emotional songs.

“Let’s hope I don’t disappoint.” You bit at your lip as the ever-familiar seed of doubt began to grow in your mind. It happened every time, but you always managed to ignore it.

“I’m sure you won’t. Hey, I was wondering if you’d let me hear it before you send it to Kenny.” That did surprise you. You’d been hired by Netflix, yet the lead actor was asking you to share something with him first.

“Er… I’m not sure if I’m allowed. I mean, what if they don’t like it and don’t use it?”

“Oh, right. Okay. Anyway, it was nice to meet you.” He held out his hand for you to shake. When your hand was in his, he lifted it and placed a soft kiss against your knuckles. A flicker of heat shot up your arm and your eyes shot to lock onto his. Judging by how wide they were, he’d felt it too. Eventually, you withdrew your hand from his, even though you didn’t particularly want to.

“You too. Good luck with the show.” Unlocking your car, you climbed in, and started the engine. With one last look at Charlie as you pulled the door closed, you forced yourself to pull out of the parking lot and drive away.

:: ::

|@charles_gillespie started following you

You stared at the notification on your Instagram account. It had been two days since your trip to meet up with Kenny and the cast – well, Charlie in particular – and you’d been working hard on the song. Intrigued, you clicked onto his profile and scrolled through his photos. He clearly loved the outdoors and spent a lot of time hiking or camping. You can’t help but smile when you see photos of him with his family and friends.

You follow him back and put your phone down to pick your guitar back up to continue working.

|@charles_Gillespie sent you a message

Hey

The app indicated Charlie was typing, then he wasn’t, then typing again, but no message came through. Shrugging, you put your phone back down and continued working. You had a title, a melody, and had almost finished the lyrics. It was full of emotion and if asked, you’d totally admit you had cried more than once while writing it.

How’s the song coming? Another message from Charlie. It made you smile, but you needed to finish working. You turned your phone off and focused.

Finally, the song was finished. All you needed to do was to record a rough cut to send over to Kenny and the writer so they could see if it needed any amendments before sending over the final version along with the chords and lyrics. You head into the tiny studio you have set up in your apartment and record the song. It takes three takes for you to get through it without crying, but once you do, you send it straight over and stop working for the night.

Turning your phone back on, it buzzes insanely with a slew of notifications. Friends checking up on you, your parents inviting you to dinner, an email from Kenny telling you they love the rough cut and asking you to send a cleaner copy tomorrow, and a couple of messages from Charlie on Instagram. Now you’re able to respond properly, you open the app.

Sorry if I’m disturbing you.

I hope the song’s going well.

Hey, sorry. I turned my phone off while I was finishing up. Kenny has the rough cut, so I’m about to chill out and watch a movie. Hope all is well at bootcamp.

You worry the message you reply with is overly formal, but it’s too late as it’s showing as being seen. You busy yourself making some food and picking out a movie to watch. Settling on your couch to watch the first To All the Boys movie, your phone begins to buzz.

Charlie 👅🍀

Instagram video

With a slightly trembling finger, you accept the call and soon Charlie’s face fills half of your screen.

“Hey, Y/N.” he smiles brightly at you.

“Hey.” You’re a little confused about why he’s calling you, but you decide to go with it.

“Kenny played me the rough cut of Unsaid Emily. I just wanted to tell you it’s beautiful and I can’t wait to sing it.”

“Thanks, I’m glad everyone seems to like it.”

“Y/N, we didn’t just like it, we all loved it. So many people were crying when they heard it.”

“I would apologize, but my mom taught me not to tell lies.” His laugh burst out of the speaker on your phone.

“Don’t, it’s great. It’s gonna be a great addition to the show.”

You grab the remote for the TV to turn the volume down as the film you’d picked to watch was starting.

“Hey, what movie are you watching?” he asks when you apologize for the interruption.

“Oh, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.” You can’t help but notice he scrunches up his face, and you also can’t help but notice how adorable it looks. “What was that face for?”

“I didn’t think you’d be a chick flick kinda girl…”

“Oh, I don’t watch it for the story.” You can’t help but laugh as he tries to work out what you mean.

“What’s the point of watching it then?”

“Because Noah Centineo’s pretty to look at.” You don’t add the fact he’s not as pretty as Charlie. It’s not exactly something you can admit on a first Instagram video call – not that you’re expecting there to be more.

“I’m not going to disagree, but is he prettier than me?” You laugh and roll your eyes at him.

“I’m not going to answer that question on the grounds that I barely know you.”

“I can see you blushing, Y/N. I think you think I’m prettier, but don’t want to admit it to my face.” He’s full on laughing now and you can’t help but join in.

“Carry on teasing me, I’ll end this call.” You threaten, making his eyes widen slightly.

“I’m sorry. So, tell me about yourself?” You see him getting comfortable on what looks like a bed. He’s soon lying sideways on the screen in front of you. You decide to mimic him, propping your phone against a glass candle holder on the table next to you. You lie on your side facing both your phone and the TV.

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, for starters, how old are you?”

“I’m twenty-five. You?”

“Twenty-one.”

For two hours, the two of you throw questions back and forth as the movie comes to an end without you noticing.

“Do you think you’ll come to set?” He asks you, surprising you.

“I think it’s doubtful. Once I record a cleaner version of Unsaid Emily, my job’s done. I’m not needed anymore.”

“Oh…” Did you detect a hint of disappointment in his voice? No, you didn’t.

“Well, this has been fun, Charles Jeffrey Gillespie, but I have an appointment in the morning, and I really need to get some sleep.” You sit up, take hold of your phone, and walk out of the lounge to your bedroom.

“Taking me to bed, already? Haven’t even had to buy you dinner.” Charlie jokes, making you roll your eyes at him. “Okay. Maybe we can do this again? Bootcamp lasts for a while longer yet, then we’re going to film in Vancouver.”

“That would be great. And thanks again for being nice about the song.” You both say your goodbyes and once the call has ended, you collapse back on to your bed, unsure exactly what has happened.

:: ::

It’s been three months since you had Unsaid Emily accepted by the show, and in that time you and Charlie have video called on Instagram a few times, but you’re both crazy busy. You’re working on a score for a videogame while he’s finished up with bootcamp and has relocated to Vancouver to start filming. The entire time, neither of you suggested meeting up even though you both lived in L.A.

You’re just leaving your parent’s home when your phone rings in your bag. Not recognizing the number on screen, you debate not answering it, but brush your thumb across the screen anyway.

“Hello?”

“Y/N? It’s Kenny. Are you okay to talk?”

“Hi Kenny, I’ve always got time for you.” You hear him laugh down the phone. “What can I do for you Mr. Ortega?”

“I was wondering, because you did such a great job with Unsaid Emily, if you’d like to come on set to watch it being filmed? See how we’ve adapted it?” Well, that wasn’t what you expected to hear.

“I’d love to. When do you film?”

“The day after tomorrow. I’m sorry it’s all so last minute, but I’ve been busy.”

“I can just about manage it. I’ll book a flight when I get back home, then I’ll message you for directions to the studio.”

“Sounds great. See you soon, and I really think you’ll love what we’ve done with the song.” You reassure him you will and end the call and get into your car to drive home.

After juggling a few things around, you’re able to book a flight to Vancouver for the next afternoon. When You message Kenny, he reassures you there’ll be a car waiting for you. You decide to book a hotel for two nights and a flight back the next day. You’ve never been to a TV set, and don’t know how long these things take. As you pack an overnight bag, you realize you’re excited, not only about seeing your work come to life, but seeing Charlie again, in the flesh.

:: ::

Arriving in Vancouver, you walked through the airport and out into the arrivals lounge, looking for the driver Kenny had sent to pick you up. You were able to bypass having to wait for your luggage thanks to only having a small carry-on bag so made it through the crowds pretty quickly. When you emerged, you saw a row of drivers holding signs, but none had your name on. Deciding to find somewhere to sit and call Kenny, you move past the drivers in black suits. Directly in front of you is Charlie wearing a wide grin.

“Hey you. Moonlighting as a chauffeur to make ends meet?” You tease as you approach him. He surprises you by pulling you into a hug.

“It’s weird not seeing your face on a small screen.” He jokes as he leads you outside, taking your bag from you. You can’t help but notice he’s been working out and his biceps are looking impressive. Well, you knew he had anyway thanks to his constant posting on Instagram, and from your video calls, but seeing it up close makes your mouth go dry.

“I’ve had to put make-up on. No filters in real life, Gillespie.” He rolled his eyes at you as he unlocked his car, an orange Nissan Juke.

“Some car there…” You struggle to hold in a laugh and his mock hurt look.

“Look, it may not be pretty, but it’s great for camping and heading out of town to go hiking.” He was almost pouting when he finished speaking.

“Okay, okay. I give in.” you climb into the car. “Why aren’t you on set?”

“I wasn’t needed for a couple of hours, so I offered to come and meet you. I have to be back once you’re checked in at your hotel. Sorry it’s a bit of a rush.”

“Don’t worry about it. I can go out sightseeing while you’re working hard.” You grin at him. “I’ve never been to Vancouver, or Canada, before.”

“You’ve clearly lived a very sheltered life.” He’s teasing so you just stick your tongue out at him before turning your attention out of the window as Charlie maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. “Have you even left California?” Again with the teasing.

“Not only have I left the state, but I’ve also even left the country.”

“That’s cool, where did you go?”

“I studied in London for a year, then I backpacked around Europe for another, before coming home and becoming a functioning member of society.”

“That’s actually pretty awesome. I’d love to do that, just travel around for a year and get to see so many amazing places.” There’s a look in his eyes you recognize. Wanderlust.

Before long, Charlie’s pulling up outside your hotel and helping you out of the car.

“I would make sure you get checked in okay, but I need to jet. I’m sorry, shall we meet up later, I can introduce you to the rest of the cast.”

“That would be great. Message me so I know when to be ready and where to meet y’all.” He agrees, places a soft kiss against your cheek and gets back into the car. You watch him drive away before going to check in.

:: ::

When you took the job of writing a song for a TV show, you never expected to find yourself out to dinner with the cast of said show, watching them do karaoke. All of them have included you, which made you feel as if you’re part of their circle, despite their many in jokes and stories from set. Madison greeted you like an old friend, telling you she’d head a lot about you from Charlie. That surprised you because you hardly knew him beyond the few video calls you’d had.

“He talks about you all the time, and Owen says he can hear his side of the conversations. He teases him about it all the time.” You stare at her, confused.

“That’s crazy. We hardly know each other.”

“Doesn’t stop feelings from happening.” She laughs at you, before dragging you up to perform with her.

The entire evening is a blast, but you all have to call it a night early thanks to their early call to set. You plan to call an uber back to your hotel, but Charlie insists on making sure you get back safe. As you say goodbye to the others, Madison give you a look you don’t even attempt to try and decipher.

“Thanks for tonight, I had a great time. You’re lucky you guys are so close.” You tell Charlie as your uber moves through the dark streets.

“Yeah, they’re great and we’re like a family. I know it sounds corny and cliché, but it’s the truth. I think that’s why Kenny set up bootcamp. It makes going to work so much easier.”

Silence falls over you, but it’s a comfortable one, and all too soon, you’re pulling up outside your hotel.

“Thanks for making sure I got back safe.” You say as you get ready to climb out of the car. Charlie surprises you by following you. “Oh, you don’t need to see me inside, I’m a big girl.”

“I know, but my mom would kill me if I didn’t. I was taught to make sure pretty girls got home safe.” You laugh but are filled with warmth at him calling you pretty.

“I bet you use that line on all the girls.” You give him a nudge with your shoulder which makes him laugh.

“Not really.” He holds out his elbow for you to tuck your hand through as he walks into the building.

Once you’re outside your room, you turn to face him and thank him for inviting you out again.

“It was a pleasure. I just hope you had a good time.”

“I really did. I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

:: ::

The following morning, you’re up at what feels like the crack of dawn. You’re regretting the shots you had the night before as you climb into an uber to head over to the studio. The closer you get, the more excited you become. You’ve seen your songs brought to life on screen before, but you’ve never been there for the filming.

As you climb out of your car, you hear someone call out your name. You turn to see Madison and her dad walking toward you.

“Hey Y/N. How are you feeling after last night?” She asks, giggling slightly. You’re more than a little jealous of the fact she’s a minor and is unable to drink any alcohol.

“A bit delicate, but nothing a strong coffee won’t cure.” You smile as she introduces you to her dad as the three of you walk inside. They stay with you as you’re signed in and given a visitor’s pass.

“What do you know about this scene you’re watching today?” Madison asks you as you follow her through the hallways.

“Not a lot if I’m honest. I know a little background to the song and Luke as a character, but nothing else.”

“Woah, you’re in for a treat. I hope you didn’t wear any eye make-up.” Mr. Reyes laughs at his daughter’s words as you reach the catering tent. The aroma of coffee is calling you. “Well, I’ll see you soon, I’m first in hair and make-up.” The young girl gives you a tight hug and leaves you to fuel your need for caffeine.

By the time you’ve finished your drink, and a bagel, the tent is filling up around you. You spot Kenny entering and he makes a beeline for you.

“Y/N, it’s so good to see you again.”

“Thanks for having me. I’m honored to be invited. I know this is a bit unusual.”

“Honey, you don’t need to thank me. It was this guy’s idea.” He stepped aside to reveal Charlie, in full Luke costume.

“Oh…”

:: ::

Standing next to Kenny, you’re silent as the opening bars to your song start to play. A lump has already gathered in your throat as you watch Charlie as Luke singing to his mother who can’t see him. You knew it was an emotional song, but hearing it sung live and in context of the show, you can’t quite believe it’s yours.

You know they have some scenes to film that will be cut into the scene, but you can’t help being mesmerized by the tone of Charlie’s voice as he sings a song of regret.

You feel tears pricking at your eyes as rounds a corner of the set, belting out the final pre chorus, the rasp to his voice, and tears flowing down his face. Kenny takes a look at you and grabs hold of your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“You did good.” He compliments you. Wiping at your eyes, hoping your mascara isn’t running, you shake your head.

“No, that was all him.” Once filming’s over, you make an excuse to Kenny and head outside for some fresh air. You’re feeling overwhelmed and in awe of what they’ve done with your song.

“Are you okay?” Charlie’s voice is soft as he walks up to stand next to you.

“I’m fine, just a bit overwhelmed. I never expected it to… to be that good.” You realize you could have offended him and begin to stumble over your words. “Not that I mean… you’ve got an amazing voice, and you injected so much hurt and pain into the song. It sounded better than I ever imagined it to.”

You feel like a bumbling idiot and turn away from Charlie so he can’t see the embarrassment on your face. He moves to stand directly in front of you, using his hand to gently lift your chin so you have nowhere else to look but directly into his eyes.

“If the song wasn’t right, I wouldn’t have been able to do what I just did, so it’s all on you too.” It feels as if his hazel eyes are looking deep into your soul.

“Thank you.” You finally accept a compliment, making him smile. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you ask for me to be here today?”

“Because the moment I heard the rough cut of Unsaid Emily I felt it was only right you be here. There something in your lyrics and melody that will truly have an affect on the audience, and I felt you needed to see that for yourself.” He suddenly let go of you and looked away.

“Why do I feel like there’s an ‘and’ coming?”

“And… the moment I heard that rough cut, I needed to know more about you. That’s why I followed you on Insta and started the video calls. I needed to know you.”

You don’t know what to say, not that there’s time for you to. Charlie looks back at you, places his hands on your waits, and bends his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss. It’s quick, but gets your pulse racing. He pulls away, slowly.

“Is Noah Centineo still prettier than me?”

You laugh before crushing your lips against is again, this time not so softly.

‘

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