#wow quarantine is getting to me if I'm writing

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Photograph of A World on Fire (4) - Andy Herrera x DeLuca!Sister!Reader - Station 19/Grey's Anatomy

Summary: The world might be on fire with a pandemic happening, and you and Andy face loss after loss, but the two of you stick together and become even closer through it all.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Request: hey 💓 could you write a deluca!sister x amelia fic where r is a cheeky italian which puts amelia in gay panic mode x

A/n: this diverts from canon like a curly wurly chocolate bar, also mentions a one night stand, there's no smut but it's alluded to, so, read at your own risk, and don't ask me where this happens in canon, because that will give me another headache:) (i gave myself that headache and followed canon slightly... ooof, warning, canon character death incoming)

A/n: to whoever reads this, you are important.

Andy found out her mother was alive, and then three weeks later, a pandemic set the world on fire.

Andy's mother left, and her father told her that her mother had died, rather than her mother had abandoned her due to mental illness.

Your brother and sister were determined to quarantine away from you, and with Andy in a bubble at the firehouse, you were isolated from everyone.

Andy had enlisted herself in distracting herself about her mother by going to an art store, masked up with a list of supplies for you so you could keep making your art from home. Andy didn't know you had gotten out of the car, sitting on the bonnet with your camera, photographing the empty streets.

You didn't know it was the start of one of two projects during the pandemic that would make your career flourish, as you sat in your black attire, watching the funeral of Pruitt Herrera, that due to the pandemic had to be done online. Watching as Andy spoke, you couldn't hide the love in your eyes for this woman. This woman of fire. Your fiamma.

///

Your brother sat on your porch as you sat in the hallway, talking to each other through an open door.

"I found inspiration, for two big projects."

"Two big projects? Wow, that's amazing, angioletta. I hope I get to see them before Carina." Andrew smiled, the pride in his eyes obvious.

"Oh she'd be so mad!" You laughed, remembering the last time Andrew had seen your artwork before Carina did, and how jealous she got despite trying to hide it.

"How's your girlfriend?" Andrew threw you off, almost dropping your snack on the carpet in surprise at his question, but you took a moment before replying.

"She is at a family picnic for the first time in twenty years, and I didn't want to impose y'know. Plus, everyone is so determined to quarantine, I'm isolated from everyone and everything, but my art." You admitted, spotting the sad look on your big brother's face at your confession. You were feeling lonely.

///

"It probably won't help if I tell them that I have a girlfriend too." Andy admitted to her cousin Michelle, whose eyes lit up at Andy's admittance.

"You do? Tell me everything!"

"She's an artist, with two older siblings, who are both doctors, but she is my saving grace in this, this cruel world." Andy confessed, getting her phone out to show her cousin a photo of you, and some photos of your art.

///

Your phone buzzed as Vic sent you a video, getting your brother's attention as you gasped.

"There, there was a tiger, in the firehouse... a tiger... that's not totally terrifying!" forwarding the video to your brother, who checked his phone.

///

Fiamma: you don't have any vagina art, do you?

Cariño: that's more my sister's interior design style...

Cariño: good luck to Maya

///

"You know, on the nights we don't have dinner together. I eat canned green beans for dinner, out of the can." Andy confessed as she watched you stand over the hob, stirring your wooden spoon into something that smelt amazing.

"Fiamma, that's disgusting."

///

Andrew's text sent horror through your body as you read it. He and Carina were following a human trafficker. And nobody was answering their phone. Not Andrew, not Carina, not Andy, and not even Maya. Miranda and Ben weren't answering either, so you ran out of your house, tracking your big sister's phone as you got in your car.

Your brother was good, he was stable, taking his meds, getting sleep. Your sister had moved in with Maya, she was happy as she could be without missing Italy and stressing over your father.

Warren and Maya began to call you as Ben read your message, realising you were going after your big siblings.

///

"Announcement! Uh, Carina and her brother Andrew are... well... they're following one of the kidnappers, and uh, Y/n is going after her siblings apparently so..." Maya nervously explained, about to tell Andy off for hurriedly getting her phone but Warren shook his head.

"Probably going to call Y/n. They're, they're friends."

///

"Carina, Andrew, there's something you should know. Y/n is on her way to you, I'm guessing nobody's kept your little sister in the loop."

"Angioletta? No, she could get hurt. How does she know where we are?" Carina began to panic, hearing what Maya said.

"She's probably tracking our phones." Andrew deadpanned, knowing it was too late to stop you.

///

You knew they were at the Seattle Transit Station, running as you spotted Carina heading through the doors of the station. Speed-walking after your siblings, you barely made it onto the train before the doors shut, quickly making your way up the carriage until you landed in the seat next to Andrew, sandwiching him in the middle of you and Carina.

"What are you doing-"

"You both scared me. Plus nobody knows who I am so..." you trailed off, whispering in Italian to obscure your words to any non-Italian speakers.

The three of you watched as another passenger stood up and moved away from the three of you.

"My first time being profiled as an Italian."

///

"Stay back, angioletta." Carina whispered, as your siblings stood up to follow the human trafficker off of the train.

"Go find Ben and the police, I'm not losing her again." Andrew instructed, leaving Carina to nod and get out her phone. That was Carina's mistake as she took her eyes off of you, who ran after her big brother like she did when she was a toddler.

But Carina lost sight of you both, stuck rallying the first responders. She didn't see what you saw. The man barge into your big brother, and stab him.

"NO! Help! Help! Call 911!" You screamed loud enough that Carina heard you, hurrying over to see you putting pressure on a stab wound. A stab wound in your big brother's chest.

"We're here, we're here!" you sobbed, as Warren got your brother on a gurney, Maya holding back Carina as you curled up on the floor, hands covered in your brother's blood.

Carina cleaned your hands as you sat numbly in the back of the aid car, Maya and Ben treating your brother, and Carina recalling songs from your childhoods to soothe your brother's pain.

///

Sitting in the Grey Sloan outdoor waiting room, you were numb as you saw the look in the approaching doctor's eyes.

Your brother was dead.

///

In grieving, Carina shut down, but you threw yourself into your art projects. Carina had Maya to keep an eye on her, but you...

Andy was there for you. Andy was there when you didn't sleep at night, staring at a blank canvas until you started to paint, she sat and watched you. You didn't want to talk, your big brother was your lifeline.

"Okay, I know your French toast is better, and so is Carina's, but it's the only thing I know how to make for breakfast." Andy explained, bringing a tray into your spare room aka your art room at this point.

"Looks delicious." You managed to smile, but Andy was taken off guard as you pulled her into a hug, burying your face in her neck and not letting go.

"I'm acting captain today... are you sure you'll be okay alone?" Andy asked, her fingernails running gently over your scalp as she cradled your head.

"I have food and water. I just want to paint my grief, because I don't know how else to express it. Talking doesn't work, talking makes me miss him, even if he's with our mama now." You replied, but Andy saw the look on your face when you spotted the red paint on the palette. She didn't see how it reminded you of your brother's blood on your hands as you sat in the aid car, numb and hoping it wasn't his time.

Your siblings may have called you angioletta, little angel, but your brother was the angel among you now.

Your mother called Andrew and Carina two halves of a whole, but you needed both of them. You were away from Carina for so long growing up, all you had was your brother.

Now he was gone, Carina was stuck with the paperwork, and you buried yourself in your art. Minus any red paint, which Andy had removed after seeing the far away look on your face at the sight of it.

///

Carina called you hours later, asking if you had spoken to your father at all. You hadn't, but somehow he had heard two days ago that your brother died, and he didn't call either of you.

Andy found you sitting on your porch on her return home, in the spot where your brother had once sat, with a portfolio she hadn't seen before in your hands.

"Andrew was supposed to be the first person to see my projects, but he's..." you trailed off, opening the first page to reveal the photographs you had taken of empty Seattle streets.

"I've never seen Seattle so empty."

"Exactly." You let out a wet chuckle, holding back your tears until Andy met your gaze with a faltering smile at your crying.

///

Maya Bishop: A Doctor Gabriella Aurora just turned up here

Y/n DeLuca: you'll be okay, it's been a long time since medical school, trust me.

Maya Bishop: Come over and help me?

Y/n DeLuca: i'm having dinner with my girlfriend tonight. i'm cooking too.

Maya Bishop: Girlfriend?

*left on read 4:21pm*

///

"You know your sister has a girlfriend?" Maya enquired as she walked through the Grey Sloan car park with Carina, hand in hand.

"I assumed she had someone living with her. She had two mugs out when I surprised her one morning, and someone gave her a neck bruise."

"A hickey?" Maya raised an eyebrow, wondering how long you and whoever it was had been dating.

"Yes, a hickey. My sister is not a fan of double dates though." Carina added before Maya could get any ideas.

///

"I still haven't met your girlfriend. I even met your ex-roommate before I met her." Andy's cousin Michelle pointed out, after pointing out how Andy had gone to every barbecue and not brought you with her.

"My girlfriend lost her brother and her sister is very protective and doesn't want her getting the virus... and we still haven't told her sister we're dating, or that I moved in so..." Andy trailed off as Michelle's eyes widened.

"Oh so it's serious?"

"She's my saving grace."

///

"My visa expires next month." Carina explained to you, making you flinch. You and Andrew had citizenship, but Carina was here on a visa for her study.

"You have to go back to Italy? They shut down the immigration offices... Carina..."

"Angioletta..." Carina whispered, letting out a squeak as you pulled her into a tight hug, fear setting in that you would lose the only family you had left in America.

///

Carina and Maya were unaware of how well you really knew Andy, until it came to your brother's memorial in the Grey Sloan car park.

Amelia wasn't there, even if she had mentored your brother for a time. You hadn't thought of the neurosurgeon in a long time, having removed all traces of her from your portfolio, your life and your memory.

Whilst Maya held Carina in the car park, you sat on the ground, holding your knees to your chest until arms wrapped around you, and Andy was almost cooing in Spanish, calming you as you clung to her, mask soaked with tears.

Neither of them had any time to judge, but both were unaware you and Andy really knew each other as more than friends. Any assumption they had was wrong. Andy and yourself were well acquainted.

You didn't hide your relationship with Andy. She was at the firehouse a lot, not wanting to bring covid home back to you, since Maya and Carina were further along in their relationship and when Andy had moved in with you, she tried her best to keep you safe.

Everyone wanted to protect you, but they were isolating themselves from you to try keep you safe.

One of your art projects had been inspired by frontline workers, gaining attention online as people wanted to buy the works, the money going to charities to support people during the pandemic... you were flourishing, and your big brother couldn't see it from anywhere but above, whilst your sister and your girlfriend could see it, and you, but chose not to as often.

Your second project reflected another side to the pandemic, photography of the empty streets, void of all life. Almost apocalyptic in a sense.

Andy spent more time with you than Carina did, but you and your sister handled grief differently.

The fire between you and Andy burned brighter than anything else. An eternal flame.

"What are you painting this time? Is that a heart on fire?" Andy peeked over your shoulder, her chin resting on it as her hands hovered over your waist, hesitant to touch in case she messed up your brushstrokes.

"It was supposed to be symbolic, fires of love? Eternal flame? I think I'm better at realism... the portraits reflect that." You shrugged, gesturing to the paintings on the other side of the room.

"You are the sweetest but your sister and Maya should be here in an hour, and you are wearing more paint than clothes." Andy pointed out, her eyes widening as you smirked, walking backwards to guide her to the shower.

"Maybe you should join me, to make sure I get all the paint off."

"I would like that very much, but we need to-" Andy began to point out the lack of time, but you shushed her as you leaned in, waiting until she met you halfway, the hour countdown until Maya and Carina's arrival forgotten about...

///

#andy herrera x reader #station 19 x reader #station 19 imagine #andy herrera imagine #carina deluca x sister!reader #andrew deluca x sister!reader #grey's anatomy x reader #grey's anatomy imagine #station 19 imagines #grey's anatomy imagines

[kumezyzo]

Hey! Love all your work, could you do a scene where sapnap and reader are roommates for a while and eventually he kisses them on a random night and they’re super awkward cute the day after😭😭 sort of like a new girl jess and nick type thing

tysm!!

so, ive literally never watched new girl 😭😭 but i hope this is to your standards 😊

this is me after writing it... i made it more angsty before the fluff. please forgive me 😭😭

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

you and roommate!sapnap started rooming together as to be able to pay rent. you met through a mutual friend who knew you were both looking for a roommate. neither of you are friends with this person anymore, tho lol

when you moved in together, you kinda avoided each other and minded your own business. you knew he was a gamer because who else stayed up that late yelling into a mic. but it was fine because he paid for a large part of the rent.

then, one night, the power went out.

you heard a knock on your door as you tried to flick your desk light back on. you got up and opened the door in confusion.

"hey, did your power go out too?" sap asked, peering into your room with his hands playing with the hem of his hoodie.

"yeah, i guess," you said, stepping out to look around the apartment. he followed after you as you took note that the microwave and oven were both missing the blinking green time.

"shit, i thought i did something," he joked, looking around awkwardly. you gave him a pity laugh, moving to go back to your room. he followed behind you. "did you wanna... hang out? my pc died, and i don't really have anything else to do..."

and that started the more-than-acquaintances relationship between you and roommate!sapnap. you two went out for a walk in hopes of coming back when the power came back and had a normal conversation for the first time. and as time went on, you got closer.

quarantine was definitely the turning point for you and roommate!sapnap. you were spending the most time together and truly enjoying eachothers company. and that's when it was hard for him to hide his streaming from you.

roommate!sapnap made sure to ask if you wanted his stream to know about you and respected whatever decision you made. and when his viewers learned you were his roommate, they truly started to love you from your few appearances.

and obviously, that led to roommate!sapnap telling you about dream and george. they already knew about you... and he got to introduce you to them over Discord. he was glad to see you get along with them.

you and roommate!sapnap even started cuddling when you'd watch movied together. it started off with you sharing a blanket. then you would lean on his shoulder. then his arm would naturally curl around your waist.

but then the months of this bliss ended. and roommate!sapnap told you he was dropping out of college.

"so... i was thinking..." he trailed off as you took your last bite of your burrito bowl. it was his idea to get Chipotle for dinner.

"mhmm?" you hummed playfully, urging him to continue.

"i was thinking about dropping out..." he said, looking at your face diligently for a reaction. your chewing stopped abruptly as you stared at him blankly for a moment. then you looked away, swallowing your food. it suddenly turned sour.

you took a sip of your water, "when did you come up with this?"

"I'm making more money now than i would if i finished school," he shrugged, looking away from you. "and... dream asked me to move in with him."

"and... you said yes?" you asked, sadly. he nodded. "wow, you ready to get rid of me so soon." you joked, smiling painfully at him.

"no, no," he immediately denied, catching you off guard. he moved closer to you. "i really like living with you. like... really like it."

you smiled at him softly now, "well, it was a nice run then." he nodded solemnly, and you began to get up slowly, throwing away your trash.

when you started to walk back into your room, roommate!sapnap grabbed your wrist. it was a suprise when he lightly pulled you closer to him. your stomach erupted into butterflies being so close, face to face with him.

"i like you," he basically whispered. you searched his eyes to see if he was lying. but it didn't seem like he was. "i just needed to tell you that..."

you nodded, your eyes on his lips. and before you could think, your lips were against his. and you weren't sure who started it. all you knew was that you liked how soft his lips were. they were as plump as you thought they'd be.

then, roommate!sapnap pulled away and looked at you with a dazed expression before pecking your lips again and running off to his room. he left you sufficiently surprised and conflicted.

the next morning, you were sure you had dreamed it all up. but then you remembered how he was truly planning on moving to florida. and he kissed you, and you weren't sure if you could see him again so soon.

you walked out of your room to go to the bathroom, heat rushing through you when you passed his door. when you brushed your teeth, you felt a pang of hurt looking at his toothbrush, knowing it would be gone if he did leave.

and you were more than surprised when you saw roommate!sapnap already in the kitchen, drinking from a half empty water bottle. you both froze, remembering the kiss you shared just the night before. you gave him a nod of acknowledgment before starting on your morning coffee.

you knew he was staring at you as you poured yourself your morning coffee. your face was hot, and you felt every slight movement he made. you sat away from him, scared that if you got any closer, you'd maybe scare him away.

but roommate!sapnap decided he should say something to ease the silence.

"about the kiss..." he started, and you glanced at him briefly, trying to engulf yourself in the brewed drink. "i didn't hate it..."

you felt more butterflies in your stomach, starting batting against your ribcage. "i... didn't either."

he nodded, although you barely saw it out of the corner of his eye. "did you want to... do it again... maybe...?"

roommate!sapnap you couldn't stop kissing you after you gave him the greenlight. you giggled against him when he groaned something along the lines off, 'i was dreaming about this all night.'

but he truly couldn't stop after that day. it was easy with the cuddling and the night walks and talks. but he was actually moving out soon. so he took it upon himself to make a real move.

"will you be my girlfriend?" he asked you randomly as you two cleaned up the snacks you laid out for movie night.

you turned to him, shocked. "i thought... aren't we... isnt that what this is?"

his eyebrows furrowed as he thought for a second, a pout forming on his lips as he crossed his arms. you laughed, walking over to him and planting a peck on his lips.

"i would love to be your girlfriend," you told him, making him look away shamefully. "took you long enough to ask."

he rolled his eyes playfully, "whatever," he laughed, kissing you deeply.

although it was an end of an era, you both knew it would work out. you two would make it work out.

i lowkey hate this so much. i hope you enjoyed it, tho. -Nony

p.s. free palestine

#sapnap #anon #asks #sapnap x reader #sapnap x you #dteam #sapnap x y/n #sapnap fluff #sapnap imagines #sapnap x reader fluff #fluff #dream team fluff #bf!sapnap

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

6, 7, 10

WOW THAT WAS FAST

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

whew getting right to it, huh?

hmm...i guess there's always a sense of imposter syndrome, you know? like i've had people tell me "you're such a great writer!" and "i can totally see you publishing one day!", from family, friends, and teachers. i was even voted "most likely to write a book" for my sophomore year yearbook.

and yet. there is always that lingering sense of what if i'm not that good? What if nobody likes it?

believe me - i know the saying "write what makes YOU happy" and i stand by that! but there is also going to be that itty-bitty feeling of hurt if somebody doesn't like it (and tells you it. which is very rude btw don't do that.)

I guess it stems down to the fact that while I like writing for myself, I also like that positive encouragement from the readers.

which does happen a lot XD i'm flooded with comments the next morning after i post a fic and i rarely - if ever - see a rude/criticizing one. Screams? Oh yes. I savor those screams. But I haven't read a criticizing one on any of my ToA fics (BT? A fair few. Lolling usually got there first though and deescalated the situation much quicker than I would have.)

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

MAKING MY READERS SUFFER!

...jk. but also not haha <3

I really like piecing together all these myths and getting a coherent plotline out from them. Also, absolutely love writing Apollo he's the best <3

also, the enjoyment of the readers are always great too. there's bonding to be done in the comment sections of fics, and i love to ramble about the fic process XD

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

absolutely.

there's been many things that have occupied brain-space. But Trials of Apollo has taken the cake.

I tried to write fanfiction for PJO in middle school. dropped it after a couple fics. deleted them too because i was very cringed out by them XD

attempted a PJO/HP crossover. trashed that too.

tried just HP. nothing ever came of it.

Warrior cats i made a cracky Time-Travel AU but also Lolling and I smacked out heads together and made Burning Thistles (still in progress btw - 170 chapters in) but it didn't exactly...haunt me, ya know? I love BT, and I really should get to the next chap soon, but it wasn't quite haunting me.

Star Wars infected me during Quarantine and I pumped out like. 30 fics in Whumptober plus a few others, but then steam kinda died out.

Until...ToA.

It haunts me. No other series has done this. It occupied my thoughts. My actions. My homework. My music. Everything I see, do, or think has some thread of ToA in it.

As for my own writing...heh. anything Copollo. they have permanent headspace and i have no intent of giving them the boot anytime soon.

Also...my Hunger Games AU is very very juicy. i can't wait until it's all done so i can finally share it! about 10 chapters left <3

and well. ^ i think it's pretty obvious what I think haunting means lol

it never leaves your thoughts

#the oracle speaks #ask game #anon ask

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary195

3/28-29/24

thursday - friday

named yesterday's entry wrong... whoops.

anyway, tomorrow i work for like 8 hours basically, and then the next day too. it sucks a lot, and whatever. i don't think one of the closing people i usually work w/ is gonna be able to come in, i mean, obv not, her hand is broken which is pretty horrifying.

i hope she recovers as necessary. it is weird to me when co-workers would wish for speedy recoveries, i almost did, but it seems like a way of thinking which foregrounds the fact that they need to be able bodied to do tasks and things, to help me or others. it's distantly self interested. i know the broader idea/supposed/assumed thing you communicate is that really you just hope the pain stops soon, i just feel like there's other stuff implicit in that. i hope it stops hurting though. it's awful that it hurts.

it feels awful also, to now talk about how i'm going to work on a song, to get it ready to release like, tonight maybe. that will be fun. i finished the cover and drew some stuff for fun as well. the stuff i drew is basically bad because i was too zoomed out and that made the pen movements translate weird, however maybe that kind of incompetence is cute.

and then there's this other doodle i did while messing w/ something for cover art i screencapped. she's kind of super obscenely ugly in a way but also cute. idk. they're giving 'alien' and 'in pain' which i feel i think. i relate, to the drawing, that i made.

these are my #bad #drawings

here is my human body in photos i took of myself because i am vain and felt good yesterday.

notice ... i cleaned the mirror. wow.

i am feeling cuter lately i think, which makes me happy, or like, on my days off where i go out, i feel really cute, and like i need to be, because i am working now there's this wider variance between ways i might be seen and stuff. so it's this really pathetic need to be cute/pretty/sexy, that emerges, when i'm not working. but at least i am feeling that way.

i also like how bad i am at posing. it's funny to post photos of me trying to do...whatever it is i am doing. i'd rather expose myself like that, it's sort of like i'm living for the failure of affecting something, which is maybe cuter than actually being effortlessly anything. the evident effort and the failure. it's at least kind of 'kawaii'.

the reading today was not much, but interesting nonetheless. he gets to an example of an early quarantine, and the methods of observation/surveillance, delivery, and keeping count, an early expression of the relation between medicine and discipline/surveillance.

one thing he also mentions, and this is an interesting theme in the book, is the writing of discipline, and power, the writing, legal code and observation, which create life for power and discipline, and the way discipline observes individuality/individuates first by a process that homogenizes people. this seems counterintuitive but he's just getting at the categories created and the ways we for instance are put into the categories. here is one place i have always felt foucault/implicated him, in particular with my gender and the impossibility of placing myself, i do not like the idea of making myself visible in the writing of power, or visible to power by writing myself in its tongue. however in many ways i sort of do. i try to look girly and stuff, i post pictures of myself. i am visible. but i am still trying to be noncompliant. i want to be noncompliant. but one noncompliance is easily absorbed into another category, take for instance a diagnosis like 'oppositional defiant disorder', or simply 'noncompliant,' or even 'truant'. i would like to be truant but really i am some other kind of issue, much smaller than even a single truant child. sad.

he also points to the early developments of examinations, medical or otherwise, mechanisms for discipline, things he looks at in his book, as ignoble sciences which, undervalued / unexamined, have enabled the uncritical birth of the sciences of the man/human.

another thing he gets at that i feel is very very very important is how the good subject is individualized:

"and when one wishes to individualize the healthy, normal and law abiding citizen, it is always by asking him how much of the child he has in him, what secret madness lies within him, what fundamental crime he has dreamt of committing" ( pp. 193, discipline and punish, michel foucault (when i do quote should i do pages/authors and stuff? if i am pulling from a real book yes probably. (real as in, in my hands, for reference later perhaps, for myself)))

this point here gets to something very interesting that i think about at times, perhaps controversial but the propensity (i am not above this) to self diagnose, seek out some kind of medicalization, this sort of thing in people, is very interesting. i don't blame anyone because being an individual is constructed as a desirable thing, and this is not the individuality where one's being and life day to day is left alone, not looked at/written, but instead the lives we lead are subject to observation, from inside ourselves and especially from the outside, appraisal, and so one. we do not know who watches but we are watched, and so this means, needing to be individual, but many of the individuations we see are related to things which, in the past, were treated as issues, they are now things that might be 'rewarded' as in with attention/sympathy, which is now part of the disciplinary reward system, or i suppose it always was, to have some portion of the sovereign will of crime or that which is a difficulty in some way, some portion of you which might become special and useful in another way. it can always be turned to use.

however this isn't what i was thinking, the use stuff, it is just true, just that it's interesting that this is something one might be able to see going farther back, and that it would blossom into what we see now.

and it's uploaded!!!

i'll put it on tumblr in a regular way tomorrow or ssomething, with tags and stuff

there's like a weird popping sound. maybe i can like, fix that, or something, before anyone even gets to hear it. let me see, #lol.

omg... ableton is being so annoyingggg.

okey:

and here's a hi res version of the cover art, that i have slaved over, and is only okay:

the photos of the mascara/eyeliner running onto tissues are from me, i did makeup and poured water on my face to make it run like i had been crying, and that picture at the top is me attacking a broken imac. and then there's the little drawings and then a photo i found of a woman's lace collection.

anyway, i need to sleep now, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#SoundCloud

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Happy 6K!!! Congrats!!! Keeping you company as you wrap gifts.

Something I will always associate with you and your blog is MASH. It was always on at home growing up and sort of still is (my uncle is on a Matlock streak rn, we will cycle back around) BUT when I was old enough to appreciate the show then inevitably searching for fics for Hawkeye wherever I could (I feel like it was when I slunk back onto tumblr the first time during quarantine, I could be wrong) and I found you! And I’ve stuck with you ever since bestie (just not as Jo). So even though you’re more than just Hawkeye and Doc, that’s always gonna be you.

You’re actually partial inspiration for a character in a new fic I’m working on. I’ll slide into your DMs if you wanna know more but mainly just…the way you flow through different fandoms but still honor your older writing and OCs and all of that. And watching an older show and still creating for it even though it’s not mainstream. You’re wonderful and a cherished friend.

That just...wow. Thank you. Truly and form that bottom of my heart. And yes of course! I'd be very interested to hear about what you're writing. Feel free to DM me any time! I'm honestly sorry we haven't talked more over the years.

As for M*A*S*H, that sounds about right. I started getting into the show right around the same time we started lock down. It was the perfect comfort show in a lot of ways for that exact situation. Honestly the fact you decided to stick around for them despite my sporadic writing is really appreciated.

All of this is seriously so kind of you to send me. I'm getting a little choked up, not gonna lie.

[whumpingwithclara-alt]

Who is your Favorite Whumpee?? day 5

I get to gush about my favorite characters- omg yes. The order is from ones I found years ago to ones now! @whumpmasinjuly

First of all, Bee's lovely Zee @deluxewhump

ZeeZee I first read about March 2020- wow when quarantine hit, coincidence?? I loved Zee immieditaly , he was the first whumpee I ever really read for! And ahhh. I loved coming back to check on him, even asked a couple anon questions, and was shook when Bee answered within the same hour. Like omg she could make time for an anon question like mine?? So thank you for that haha. But back to Zee. A broken, quick-to-please whumpee who I just wanted to give a big hug and I will forever recommend Zee's story for anyone looking for a new BoxBoy whumpee.

The only other whump story I found before making tumble in 2021 was Danny by @ashintheairlikesnow

Ok... where do I start... probably with the writing in general. Ash is such an incredible writer and wow. WOW. As a younger writer looking for scraps of writing I could get a hold of, I found Ash's writing absolutely addictive. I'd come back to it again and again, rereading everything from the series. (For reference I rarely reread books and have only done so with 3... maybe 4??) But Danny was such a defiant whumpee but he broke so beautifully. And his recovery with his loved ones makes my heart melt. 100000000/10

Ok I don't remember this story very well- but LOVED it and told everyone I highly recommended it- Martin, @redwingedwhump

Ok so from what I do remember (I need to reread it...) It's about Martin, who was the perfect enslaved man from a very rich family. But suddenly was thrown into a gladiator circle. The poor torment he had to go through, his trainer annoyed by his slowness and having to retrain him, made him understand this place wasn't for smiles but for blood. Again guys if you're at all interested in it go read the first chapter!! It's so so good and highly recommend!!!

Someone who kinda start at the same time as me and showed us lab whump, Subject 17 by @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are

Pretty sure the first story I requested for a taglist because it was so good. Shadow's writing is so.. detailed?? Like I was so impressed at all the medical terms and just nodding along like haha ya I understand?? So incredible. Unlike other bbu stories, Subject 17 is VERY aware he's being tortured and doesn't like it. Love love love. SO so very much.

Ok, the best recovery series here- Coriander @maracujatangerine

Ya, I have yet to talk to you... but my goodness your writing. But y'all when I tell you I binged like 54 posts... I was so hooked I can't. I CAN'T. Their writing is so lovely and whenever I go to read the recent update on the story I have a stupid smile on my face. Coriander is the sweetest, sweetest boy ever and I love him so much and would kill to protect the bby I love him... too much.

Last but CERTAINLY not least... my newest story obsession favorite villain whumpee, Haze by @whumpwillow

Oh my gosh... oh my gosh... how do I begin. Willow... you're the reason I am able to say hero and villain whump is my FAVORITE trope because of the way that you write it. I haven't seen much villain and hero stuff around here, and when I do I always enjoy it, but your story just... the concept of it I've never thought of. Haze is not a meh villain but a downright evil villain now bowing at the whims of furious heroes. He's such a lovely whumpee, so perfectly broken and the half recovery half whump I'm sure is only traumatizing him more. Yes, I love him so much... and I love you *mwuah*

Y'all go read these stories, or at least check out one of them out, these authors deserve the hype

#whump #but not whump? #idk #whumpees #whump community #broken whumpees #defiant whumpee #all whumpees #Heheheh #wij #wij22day5

[funkymbtifiction]

Relevant stats (lol): I identify as ESFJ 6w7 right now

I was reading that post you shared from Mr. ENTJ. Wow. I respect the automatic focus on reality, facts, and figures, but I feel like trying to think that way all the time would be kind of demoralizing. Like, you can’t ever try to shape your life based on the truths you think should exist, you’re trapped in the confines of reality.

Everyone is trapped by the confines of reality, because reality exists whether or not you accept it does. Some things are proven by facts, and that's where ETJs park themselves -- inside of factual reality. To them, thinking that way isn't demoralizing, it's automatic, and people who deny the facts of reality are foolish. As Ben Shapiro (ESTJ) says, "The facts don't care about your feelings." They are just facts. ETJs take the facts and then use that as a way of making decisions. It's the world of feelings that they struggle to navigate, because emotions are not factual and do not make "sense" logically. It's way easier for them to design a spreadsheet than "get" their emotional child. Why would you think this way or ignore the facts???

It reminds me of when I was dating an ENTJ, would tell him the first part of a story, and his opinion on what would happen would be set after the first sentence. Then I’d introduce more details and he’d be like “well that changes things,” and I was like “of course details change things.” Is there a more aspirational/optimistic side to Te?

I've seen be TJs be idealistic (usually if they are 1w9s) but they are still bound to the facts and default into them automatically, and do not comprehend irrational decision-making ("emotional" people). ETJs reach faster conclusions than ITJs, due to judging dominance.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I, and other people I’ve met, tend to kind of shut off the rest of the world when working—we’re often not the types to talk through our ideas to people while working on them or collaborate on group projects. Work feels most efficient when the production process is untouched by the outside world, and very selectively edited. Is this Si, Ti, something else?

I don't think it's type related, but it may be instinct related. I do not brainstorm with people on MY books, they are mine, I want to write them myself, for my ideas to come from me and not them, and to fix any problems that arise within the narrative myself. I don't share my work until it's finished, polished, and ready to go. I'm fine with brainstorming at work, though, since the best ideas often come from building off others' different perspectives on things. Some people care more about "soc" (group interaction) than others; it usually means semi-strong social instinct in the stack (everything but sp blind). Some sp/so's love to collaborate, others, like me, do not.

Lastly, I wrote in to you around 2 years ago when I had pre-vax COVID, was quarantined, and hadn’t seen anyone in over a week. [...] What stuck with me most, oddly enough, was your assertion that I was probably an Fe-dom because my whole ask screamed “I NEED PEOPLE”. [...] I gradually noticed little things like: I could socialize every day and rarely feel tired of it, I felt vaguely panicky if I suspected I wouldn’t see people for over 2 days, I ALWAYS felt confident that I was on the Fe-Ti axis but could never decide if I used Ni/Se or Si/Ne, there were periods of time it felt like my day revolved around responding to messages, I was more social than my ENFP sister despite identifying as ISFJ, and I could return from a long day and unwind by talking to a friend. [...]

Anyway, a few things about Fe-dom these days:

-They’re judging types, but I do feel like my gut reaction to certain ideas tends to be “hmm, interesting; I’m open to considering it” rather than immediately judgment. I know what I personally feel about things I’ve encountered before and how certain things are likely to be received, but that doesn’t mean I “judge” them? Is this in line with an EFJ?

You're a head type and they don't commit to anything without analyzing it first ("I need to think about it"). 6w7 EFJs are less instant to judge anything than the image/gut-oriented types because 6w7 is so attached to outside perspectives and combined with low Ne, makes them pretty eager to explore new ideas. Given the nature and flavor of our many interactions, ESFJ seems right for you.

-These days if asked about introversion/extroversion I say that I’m “selectively social”. i.e. I have lots of energy for people, but certain “extroverted environments” (usually loud+crowded) like parties/bars/concerts drain me. Does this seem in line with an EFJ?

Everyone has a sliding scale of introversion/extroversion. Some EFJs are extremely social and others are not. So it doesn't rule out EFJ. Large crowds would be extremely draining for a lot of EFJs, and not allow for the kind of closeness and intimacy of conversation they crave with their friends.

#question #mbti

[reidsaurora]

"Stick Season" ~ S. Reid

Summary: After eight months in quarantine, Spencer Reid takes a look at just how much the world has changed. The one thing that hasn't changed? The love he had for Y/N.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2,777

Content Warning: lots of COVID talk, heavy marijuana usage, mild and explicit swearing, alcohol consumption, mild mentions of food

Genre: Angst w/o happy ending

Extra Notes: shoutout to my ex bestie for popping up on my fyp and making me sad again. because of that i was able to finally finish writing this fic <3

Based On the Song: Stick Season by Noah Kahan

Takes Place: around October of 2020

Originally Written: between 07/08/2022 and 07/13/2022

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

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"𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟." - 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐔𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧

[ Spencer's POV ]

"That was a very good session, Spencer," my therapist said as we stood. I couldn't lie, I was internally looking forward to getting away from that blue velvet couch and out to my car. "You remember what I said?"

I nodded, giving her a half-smile. "Take some time off work and try to find a new hobby to distract myself."

She smiled back at me. "Wow, that eidetic memory is showing off today. You just quoted me word-for-word."

I forced a chuckle out to appease her before heading out of her office and heading to the desk to pay. I stayed mostly silent as I paid, trying to focus on the idea of heading to my "safe place" as Dr. Barnett referred to it.

Almost as quickly as I drove away from Dr. Barnett's office, I pulled into my favorite spot—a clearing in Great Falls Park that overlooked the River—my safe place.

My mind wandered as I rolled down the windows and turned the car off. I considered the reason my mind was in this state in the first place. I thought about the anger I had over the situation, but mostly, I thought about how I was to blame for it.

I thought about Dr. Barnett's words. "Try to find a new hobby to distract yourself."

My eyes wandered to the glove compartment. Was I really about to do it?

Apparently, the answer was yes, seeing as the next thing I knew, I was holding a lighter in one hand and a joint in the other. I thought to myself as I lit it. "It's probably not too potent since it's been sitting in here."

I took a hit, almost immediately feeling the effects. My mind attempted to chill out as I took in the smell. I watched the smoke roll out of the cracked windows, almost jealous that it could just fly away so easily.

"Take some time off work." Kinda hard to do that when there's COVID on the planes, Dr. Barnett.

Suddenly, I remembered New Year's Eve in 2019—the words she had said to me.

Y/N took another hit of the blunt she was smoking. "You know," she giggled, "I feel like 2020 is gonna be our year."

I smirked with a chuckle. "How so?" I slurred.

She hiccuped with a giggle. "First of all, how much have you had?" she asked, lying her head back on my lap.

I chuckled as I ran my hand through her slightly tangled hair. "Weed or beer?"

She let out a long string of laughs as she continued on with her first statement. "Anyway, I feel like 2020 is gonna be a good one."

"Why is that?"

"Because I'm gonna have you there by my side. You're gonna be my forever. No matter what happens."

"No matter what happens," I chuckled to myself. "How easily a pandemic can change things."

I pondered how three months could make something so strong break so easily. I supposed that the bond we'd had was more fragile than I thought.

My thoughts were interrupted by the pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windshield.

I hated rain. I loved it before, when I had someone to keep me company while it poured down outside. I used to love the smell, the way it made the air feel fresh. After her, it just smelled like disappointment and loneliness. But mostly, I hated the rain because I could see the silhouette of the person I loved most in every drop of water that splashed onto the ground.

I locked my eyes on my cell phone for a minute. For a whole sixty seconds, I contemplated the outcome of what would happen if she were to answer. I pondered what I'd say, what she would say.

I took a deep breath as I unlocked my phone, taking another sixty seconds to stare at her contact information. Most of it was spent looking over her contact photo—a picture Penelope had taken of us when we went on a double date in Capitol Hill.

She'd said it then, too—how she'd wanted to be my forever.

"You know, I hate stick season," Y/N commented as we walked through the Hill.

"Stick season?" Penelope asked.

"Yeah, you know, when all the trees are dead but the snow hasn't fallen yet," she explained.

I laughed as I threw my arm over her shoulders. "I thought stick season was a Vermont thing."

"Uh, hello?" she said sarcastically. "We're surrounded by all these dead trees. And I don't see any snow."

I chuckled before kissing her on the cheek. "I suppose you're right."

"Awww," Penelope gushed, her gloved hands shooting up to her cheeks.

Luke pointed at his opened mouth, pretending to gag, which earned him a playful slap from Penelope.

"Oh, shut it, newbie," she joked.

"Newbie? Penelope, I've been-"

"I don't care," she said. She turned back to face me and Y/N before exclaiming, "Ooh! I wanna get a picture of you guys."

"Pen," Y/N groaned. "I look awful."

"Nonsense, you look beautiful," I told her, kissing her on the lips this time.

A bright flash lit up as I kissed her—I should've known Penelope would take full advantage of getting a candid photo.

"Look!" she squealed, showing the two of us her picture.

Y/N smiled up at me before wrapping her arms around my middle and leaving a kiss on my jaw. "Just think, we're gonna get to look back at this picture forever."

I grinned down at her, showing off every tooth in my mouth. "Forever?"

"Forever."

Forever… I guess forever isn't as long as it seems sometimes.

I took another hit as I pressed the call button. I wasn't expecting her to pick up, she never did. But sometimes, her voicemail was just enough to make me feel like I was conversing with her again.

Beeeep!

"You've reached Y/N Y/L/N. I can't come to the phone right now, but I'd love to call you back later! In the meantime, you can just leave something in my voicemail box! Talk to ya soon!" the recording spoke, her voice as peppy and excited as ever.

"Hey," I started, "I know there's probably a number of reasons you aren't answering but I figured I'd try again," I said, finishing my statement with a chuckle.

I took a second to look myself over—the joint in my hand, the teardrops on my shirt. "You know, I've been seeing a therapist ever since the stay-at-home ordinance was lifted. I say that because… because I wanna tell you about something she's been teaching me lately."

I took a deep breath in, inhaling the smell of cannabis. "She told me to look at everything as an analogy for something else. This week, she used a boat for her analogy. But for my analogy, I have another idea. It's similar so it won't be too confusing," I told her. "I've been looking at our relationship like this: you're driving a car. A-and the highway is like our past. Well, you continue driving and there's an exit, or you can keep going straight. Now, the exit… the exit represents me. The straight of way represents you."

I paused, even I was trying to figure out where this was going. "I guess… I guess what I'm trying to say is that you kept on driving straight and you left our future to the right—you drove past the exit."

I waited for a few seconds, almost like I was waiting on her to somehow reply. I continued on, chuckling for a moment. "You know, my therapist told me I should take up a new hobby. I wonder what she'd say if she found out I was taking up an old hobby—one that I always did with you."

I thought back to that night—the one at Capitol Hill. I remembered how it had smelled like rain that night. I remembered all the sticks and branches that had fallen from the dead trees.

"You know, it's almost stick season again. I wonder if this stick season'll be different from the last. You know, last stick season, you were calling me forever. This stick season, you can't even call me back."

I thought about earlier, that feeling of guilt immediately returning as I did so. "I'm sure you know about the five stages of grief. I think I'm stuck somewhere between anger and bargaining—that's the one filled with shame," I said with a sigh. "I'm stuck between anger and all this blame I don't wanna face."

"You know, I saw your mom recently. I wondered if she told you about it, but I don't think she recognized me," I randomly remembered. I let out a long string of snickers before continuing, "I didn't realize how easy it was to forget someone existed."

I sighed again, knowing I needed to wrap things up. "I guess I said all that to say… I feel like I'm split in half. The problem is that…" I hesitated, taking a nervous gulp, "My other half was you."

As I hung up, I considered everything that happened—how much of it was my fault, how much was hers. As I thought, I realized I couldn't figure out what the true reason for our breakup was.

Maybe it was some form of mistrust, like the fear that our relationship wouldn't withstand a pandemic. Maybe it was the lack of compromise, like how we'd argued about whose place we'd quarantine at, because we couldn't possibly force the other to move away from their apartment. Maybe it was just simply that we were morphing, growing into different people than we were when we met.

All I knew after that afternoon was this: memories are something that even smoking weed cannot replace.

☆☆☆

After a couple hours had passed and I'd mostly came down from my high, I sped off to my second safe place, my apartment.

Sure, there were times it didn't feel like a safe place, like when my memories replayed over and over in my mind. Like when all I could focus on was the sight of Y/N slowly fading away from my grip.

I walked into the lobby of my building, my jaw nearly dropping at the sight of the person standing beside the elevator.

"We need to talk."

"Really? The first time we've talked in seven months and the first thing you say is, 'We need to talk,'?" I thought to myself.

Instead, I just gulped and followed her to the elevator, my stomach churning at this confrontation.

I took her in for a split second as we stood in silence, noting how beautiful her face was, even when it was hidden behind a mask. Her hair was different—she'd succumbed to the quarantine trend of dyeing your hair. Additionally, she must've fallen to the trend of making banana bread, seeing as she smelled like freshly-baked bread.

As I unlocked my apartment, I took a couple deep breaths. I attempted to prepare myself for whatever Y/N had to say to me, but it was useless—the more I thought, the more anxious I became.

She watched as I nervously sat down on the couch. I wanted to ask her to sit with me, but I could tell by the anger in her body language that it would just ignite an argument even faster.

"We need to talk," she reiterated.

I wanted to point out that she'd already said that, but held my tongue. Instead, I inquired, "About what?"

She scoffed. "About what?" she practically mocked. "I don't know, Spencer. Maybe the fact that you refuse to stop calling me. Maybe the fact that you decided, this time, it would be a great idea to get high and then call me. There's a lot of things we need to talk about."

My heart sank into the depths of my chest. "I'm sorry about that," I managed, looking away from her. I didn't mean it, though. I wanted her back, and if blowing her phone up was the only way to show her that, then so be it.

"Are you?"

My mouth scrunched sadly as I slowly shook my head. I felt myself on the brink of crying when I looked back up at her.

"Spencer," she said sympathetically, sitting down beside me, "I know this is hard. Quarantine and COVID and us breaking up. It hasn't been easy on me either."

"Then why was it so easy for you to move on?"

She looked dumbstruck that I'd said this, and to be honest, I was too.

"It was by no means easy. I-"

"You left after two weeks of quarantine. Y/N, I didn't know what was gonna happen. Either one of us could've died. Hell, we could still die. I didn't wanna go through that alone."

"Spencer, I couldn't take it. You were changing. I was changing. It was different than it was before."

I jumped up defensively. "Hell yeah, it was different than before. But I've changed since then. I can change for you, if that's what you want."

"That's the whole reason this didn't and still won't work. I don't-"

"Wait, won't?" My heart felt like it had entered my toes. I wasn't even sure how it was possible, but my entire body began aching from the sting of her words. Won't.

She stood up, giving me a look almost as sympathetic as the tone she'd used earlier. This time, I was dumbstruck. How could she look at me like that after saying the words I needed to hear the least?

"You couldn't possibly think I was here to take you back, did you?" she questioned, folding her arms in front of her chest.

My face fell as I avoided eye contact with her again. "I guess part of me was hoping for it. I wasn't expecting it, but I was hoping for it."

I looked back up, even if just to see her reaction. Her body language was strange, almost unreadable. But the part that was readable was… almost apologetic.

"I promise I can change," I reiterated. "If the pandemic has taught me one thing, it's that we aren't always given tomorrow. If this were to be my last day on earth, I don't want it to be spent sulking because I couldn't win back the love of my life."

She looked at me, tears welling in her eyes. "I don't want it to be spent making a decision I might regret if it wasn't my last day on earth."

Her words twisted through my heart like a knife, like a dagger digging through the front of my chest and out of my back.

She walked toward the door, but I stopped her with a question. "Can I at least get a goodbye kiss this time?"

She swallowed hard but walked back over to me. It felt like the world stopped spinning when her lips collided with mine again. Every feeling I'd had eight months ago—right before the downfall—came right back to me. The skin of her lips felt the same, the smell of her perfume smelled the same, and the love I'd had for her from the very moment our lips met for the first time remained the same.

As she let go, I searched for something to say—something to stop her from leaving, to stop her from merely becoming tire tracks when she inevitably sped away.

As she opened the door, I panicked, knowing I couldn't think of anything more to tell her.

The door nearly clicked behind her, much like the shoes she was wearing clicked under her feet.

"Give me a year."

She turned around and faced me, a feeling of something near regret coming upon her. "What?"

"Give me one year. Three hundred and sixty-five fucking days. You don't have to see me in that time. You don't even have to think about me in that time. Just give me three hundred and sixty-five days to prove to you that I can be the person you need me to be."

For a moment, she looked as though she'd consider it. "Give me three hundred and sixty-five days to consider whether or not you deserve it."

And with that, she closed the door behind her. I couldn't decide if my heart was on the floor or in my hands.

I did know this: I'd spend each night like I had for the past seven months—dreaming of some version of her that I might not have had, but that I hadn't lost. And if I had to dream of that version of her until the next stick season, it'd just have to do.

"𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐠𝐨, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝." - 𝐄. 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐧

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Guys, I am sooooo excited to finally share this with you guys!!

I was working so so hard to get this up for you guys last week but I am super glad I waited because when I took my time, I got this lovely piece of literature!

Anyway, I do want to apologize for not posting last week. I am working hard to write some things in advance so that this doesn't happen as often! Thank you guys for understanding ❤️

But yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed! LMK if you guys want more of these angsty ones or open endings! I want to challenge myself as much as possible!

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[dollar-store-apocrypha]

The Bonds of Civility by joyofthejoui / @nientedenada

fandom || Skyrim rating || T categories || f/m, gen, f/f pairings || f!LDB/Ulfric Stormcloak, Rikke/f!OC genre || political fantasy characters of note || Ulfric Stormcloak, Elenwen, Rikke, Ondolemar, Delphine status || 34/?, 160k

The Dragonborn asked for a truce. Ulfric Stormcloak asked for her hand in return. Neither of them knew what they were getting into. A whole lot of politics, drama, and a backstory involving the Great War and the Aldmeri Dominion, that's what.

***

“But he’s old,” protested Lydia.

Cecilia Varo, Dragonborn, citizen of Cyrodiil, and the heroine of this story, nodded emphatically. “Very old. He fought in the War. My parents fought in the War.”

“Gross.” Lydia threw the letter down on the floor and turned to face her thane who was sprawled out in full glass armour on the only rentable bed in the inn. She’d flopped down there after giving Lydia the letter to read.

“Yes. Really gross. Really, really gross.” Cecilia pushed herself up on one elbow and fixed her housecarl with a glare that was really meant for the absent Ulfric. “I’m glad you understand, Lydia. I want you to talk me out of marrying him.”

***

"First of all: I don't know which character I love most, they're all amazing. Second: this is amazing I'm so glad I stumbled back into the skyrim fandom." -- wanderingmusician

"I truly love your writing, must have read this series 3 or 4 times through during quarantine. Based a good few NPCs in my dnd game off of some of your characters as well, youre a fantastic author and i really love this story x" -- irnbru32

"I just finished reading through the entire story and I loved it! The amount of politics and plot threads that all manage to tie in together, the intricate interwoven families and wow, the insidiousness of your Thalmor! While reading it just jumps out to me how well-thought out everything is. You've got a whole lot of OC's, but they all feel like different persons which is really great as well." -- Moriche

#tes #skyrim #skyrim fanfiction #fic recs #ulfric stormcloak #legate rikke #ondolemar #elenwen #delphine #thalmor #wlm #wlw #ensemble cast #multichapter #gen fic #the elder scrolls

[mell-eight]

An Underwhelming Adventure

8/7/23

It's hay fever season.  From the end of July and throughout August, things bloom.  I sneeze and sniffle and generally hate life.  And then Saturday morning I was brewing a cup of Jasmine Green tea.  I always forget to check the clock, but it's a potent tea so wafting the steam lets me know how brewed it is.  I couldn't smell it, but my half awake, uncaffeinated brain insisted it just hadn't brewed long enough.  I gave it a few more minutes and went to taste...and all I could taste was a vague, muted bitter aftertaste of over-brewed tea.  A light bulb went off and I went to get a COVID test.  Positive.  Yay.

Shockingly, this is my first bout with COVID.  (That I know of.)  I'm quarantining a few more days, and then masking for about five more after that.  Following all the CDC guidelines like a good human being.  Since I can't leave my house, I've been catching up on some reading and trying to write.  I keep getting distracted from both though, so I haven't gotten much done.  I have a couple more days, so I really hope to get some writing done.  At the very least, I'm able to sleep in and try to recover my energy, so when I return to work at the office I won't be as drained. 

In case you were wondering, this morning (Monday) it was literally like a light switch getting flipped.  I was done eating a tasteless breakfast and relaxing with my usual tea.  I took a sip and thought "wow, I brewed a really good cup today."  And then the caffeine kicked in and I took another sip to savor, because I could definitely taste it.  I'm still sniffly, but it's amazing how much of a psychological boost it is being able to smell and taste again. 

Oh, and don't forget, Witch is coming out in a few short days!  If you preorder with NSP, you can read it on August 11th, and it should be available at other major retailers very soon for when it officially releases on August 15th.  I can't wait! 

#writing #sick

[rrxnjun]

it does fit him kinda but i also just can't imagine him just teaching someone maybe i just don't know awsten enough🫡WAIT HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD ABOUT THAT???? but this is my new fav fact about them wow🥹 wahhh tommy does deserve everything he is a savior for real🫡 my minecraft addiction is unhealthy istg i don't think i will ever be able to get out of the phase at this point it's a lifestyle ngl 🤣🥲but i'm glad to hear that u also had a minecraft phase it's just such a fun game!! ohhh i never really got into sideman but they seem very funny that's for sure!!! tbh the first time i ever heard of alex will and memeulous was through probs wilbur but i listend to their podcast in quarantine and they were very funny tbh so i understand the chokehold!!!

I DID SEE SO MANY CLIPS FROM IT IM AO EXCITED FOR THE ALBUM I CANT WAIT!!! NINGNINGS SOLO WAS SO GOOD SHE IS JUST SO AMAZING EVERYTHING WISE ITS CRAZYYY and i'm going to be very upset if the solo songs do not make it to the album they will hear from my lawyers for sure!

take ur time with it u have the all the time in the world to listen to her! my fav song from her is definitely you're here that's the thing, it's like the cutest song ever but i also really love apple cider those two would probably be my favs and also sunny day as well!!!

WE LITERALLY ARE 🫢 it has never really happened to me before as well so i'm very surprised! I LOVE THE DIRVER ERA DUDEEE🥹 SO SAME LOVE THE MAN SO MUCH i will always be thankful for austin and ally for introducing me to the amazing man ross lynch is🫡 i listened to wallows and they are pretty good definitely will listen to them more however nothing dethroned scrawny for me so i'm staying with my basic as hell fav song🫡 BAEKHYUN HOWEVER I FOUND ONE OF MY NEW FAV ARISTS I THINK!!! amusement park is just so me core i love it so much!! claiming it as my song hihi! but the whole ep was🤌🤌🤌(i still believe in u beating him one day!!!)

OH MY UR REVIEW JUST MADE MY WHOLE DAY MY GOD!!!🥹 IM VERY GLAD THAT U DIDNT REALLY DISLIKE ANY OF THEM AND THE FACT THAT SOME OF THEM MADE IT TO UR PLAYLIST IS JUST🥹🥹IM VERY GLAD THAT U ENDED UP LIKING SOME OF THEM🥹🥹🥹

lovely neighbor!!! hi!!🤭i think i knew that u were slovak but i kinda forgot:( HOWEVER I MIGHT ACTUALLY VISIT SLOVAKIA IN LIKE 2 WEEKS OR SO!! VERY EXCITED TO SEE THE COUNTRY!🥳(or more like the one city we will be visiting)

IM GLAD U ENJOYED!! I ENJOYED TALKING ABOUT MUSIC VERY MUCH AS WELL AND THANK U FOR LISTENING TO THE HUNGARIAN SONGS U ARE VERY LOVELY FOR IT!!! and also if u have any slovak song recommendation tell it to me pls as well!

LMAO NO PROBLEM FOR WRITING HER AS A CHEATER I KNEW THERE WAS PROBABLY NOT LIKE "ANY GOOD REASON" THAT U WROTE HER AS THAT BUUUT HAVING A CRUSH ON MY GF💔💔HOW COULD U /j

LMAO probably most likely it would be similar but i actually want to see them and like properly throw jisung up in the air like i still think about that every time i see jisung!! u portrayed it so well my lord!!!! oh my the renjun bathtub pics inspiring it just makes it even more perfect my god!!! THE LAST SCENE IS JUST SO SUPER GREAT IM VERY GLAD UR INNER JOHN GREEN PULLED THROUGH XD I LOVE IT WHEN MEN ARE SIMPS ITS SO RARE BUT I LOVE IIIT🫡 i wrote it right after i read it and my emotions were all over the place it showed very much i think xd AND THAT IS CRAZY WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT PLAYINGGGG (liebestraum anon💕💕)

no thats so valid i couldnt imagine him being a guitar teacher either LMAO. and tommy deserves the world for that song alone AHAH also i understand the minecraft lifestyle the other day i wanted to download it too but it didnt work and i am not paying for that game so i just gave up after a while lmaoo. sidemen are funny sometimes but sometimes they also miss w their humor so take it as you will AHAHA. i didnt listen to the eboys podcast if u mean that one!! i am not a podcast girlie tbh i dont enjoy listening to people talk jfkdals but their videos were honestly my favs. also i sometimes still watch george memelous drinking vids where they watch terrible movies because i just think that is peak comedy

MY GIRLFRIEND NINGNING DID SO WELL the solo is stuck in my brain i NEED A STUDIO VERSION ASAP. i honestly never really stanned any girlgroups but aespa have such a chokehold on me istg- my friend said its only bc theyre the girl version of nct sound-wise and i was like :D ok then.

I STILL HAVENT LISTENED TO BEABADOBEE BUT I PROMISE TO GIVE YOU A REVIEW OF THESE IN YOUR NEXT ASK

no bc when austin and ally aired i was fundamentaly changed as a human. everything about ross lynch was just- DFJKA i even watched the teen beach movie like three times because i had such a crush on him LMAO. i wasnt really ever big on r5 (however i still have some of their songs in my playlist) but the driver era are sososo good. scrawny is so good!!! i think my fav from wallows (at least atm) is definitely wish me luck. it has such a good sound and the lyrics are honestly sososo good ugh. YES CLAIM AMUSEMENT PARK!!! ITS ONE OF MY FAV SONGS EVER AHHH i personally claim bambi because it's my nickname irl and when he came out w the song i lost my shit so hard i made it my whole entire personality. (thank u for believing in me. rather than beating hyuck i now fantasize about us going to a baekhyun concert together in my dreams<3)

THANK U TO INTRODUCING ME TO HUNGARIAN MUSIC!! i really have nothing against trying songs in diff languages if thats what you were afraid of!! i really enjoyed all of the songs they were so vibey<33 your music taste>>> AHAHA ITS OKAY IF U FORGOT IM SLOVAK i mean i dont really talk abt it here as much?? on my main tho,,, i dont shut up about the fact i even shitpost in slovak sometimes bc i just can. slovak music recs are hard for me to give bc i dont listen to slovak music much?? and the ones i do listen to i would get clowned for in slovakia bc they are just objectively not good songs but theyre my guilty pleasure AHAHA but if you really do wanna listen to some i recommend my by yael (it was in my top 10 on spotify wrapped last year LMAO), vďaka ti by yael and puerto (which is a badbunny cover lmao but listen to the ver on youtube and not spotify bc the spotify one sucks ass), valeriya by samey (THIS is a guilty pleasure for sure. the rap is weird but the lyrics are beautiful), staré časy by medial banana, káva by medial banana, záverečná by iné kafe, nad prahou by zoči voči and včera som miloval by fishing strip (for some good slovak punk rock<3) ALSO WHICH CITY ARE U VISITING (if u wanna tell me ofc)

the renjun bathtub pics....altered my brain chemistry so much iykwim. like i knew my man was hot but i didnt know he could get THIS hot. AHAHA MEN BEING SIMPS IS RARE BUT SO FUCKING GOOD thats why i even started my series in the first place the original title was the simp diaries bc its all about men being simps AHAHAHA

#💌ask #liebestraum anon #i think the whole dash is gonna hate us for the lengthy interactions but i honestly do not care block the tag if youre pressed mwah

[kogo-dogo]

Heyo! I wanted to thank you for...being a great cool epic writer bro. I just finished rereading HRV for the second time and like....wow I'm still shook at how amazing it is and aksjaksks!!!! I remember reading it back when you were writing it still and just going absolutely feral whenever a new chapter would come out and I still felt that way reading it again bc I couldn't wait to read the next chapter (totally didn't binge read it haha). It's my absolute fav hlvrai fic (and tbh probably my fav fanfic ever) and def helped get me through the 2020 quarantine blues and helped again with the 2nd reread. HRV lives rent free in my brain forever 💙 thank u

Buh!! I am so glad to hear it still holds up and you taking the time out to say such kind words just makes my heart squeal (in a good way, like a Beatles fan).

I am also glad to hear it helped during 2020. TBH, *writing* it got me through that year, too, so it’s good to know that it “paid forward” in a way.

But yes. Buh!! Thank you!!

[msmargaretmurry]

i actually meant to message you right around new years because i finally read your narry fic for the first time but i will gladly take the opportunity to tell you i am so so so impressed by you!!!! the article snippets and song lyrics especially stuck with me - such creativity and knowledge and care put into telling the story in a way that felt so authentic and rich. "wonderfully human" has really stuck with me as well how very romantic and the idea of being perfect/completely wrong for someone in a moment, really the whole thing was just so beautiful and heart wrenching to read. it took me a bit to get through bc i kept reading on the metro and having to put it down due to all the feet kicking and screeching i was doing 😭 but wow an instant classic to add to the list of all the other instant classics you've written!!!!

omg friend! i am so touched and flattered! i wrote that fic in SUCH peak pandemic quarantine fever dream when i was only leaving the apartment for, you know, my silly little government mandated wellness walks and so oftentimes i see it on my ao3 and i'm like, i really wrote that??? still not sure how it happened. it was a really fun one, though — i loved the excuse to read a bunch of music journalism to figure out how to cop the various writing styles and also that anytime i sat down to fuck around on the piano instead of being productive i could just be like "this totally counts as writing," lmao. i'm so glad you liked it!! reading fic on the metro, a time-honored tradition that i feel blessed to be a part of! i hope a hilltern tried to read over your shoulder and felt things they'd never felt before. ❤❤❤

#you know what this has inspired me and i think i am going to go do some piano-playing time theft right now #i'm not sure if i even have a tag for that fic? #starting one now i guess!! #tvbo #excited to listen to niall's new album and feel some brand new feelings about it #get in loser we're spiraling about one direction #ask #my fic

[eve-korean]

English Introduction

Hello, I am Eve. I am 26 years old and I love to study languages. I like to make conlangs as well. I have a terrible time with consistency, because a specific language or conlang construction will become a fixation, and I'll 'binge-learn' or 'binge-create' for a while and then drop it for many months until the urge comes around again. Of course, that has led to a poor retention rate. With this blog, I hope to avoid that from now on, at least when it comes to Korean! (More info under the cut.)

I want to learn Korean for a few reasons. Firstly, I just like it. I think it sounds beautiful, I love the writing system, and I really am intrigued by the way concepts are expressed in its grammar.

Secondly, my godmother Jade moved to the US from S. Korea when she was 19 (and now she's living in Israel, wow!). While she has more than integrated into American society and such, I find her story very inspiring and I love listening to her tell her tales. I wanted to learn Korean, in part, because I wanted to be more like her and learn something that might bring us even closer together as 엄마 and goddaughter. She has been with me for several years now and has supported me throughout difficult times in my life. I feel that, in a way, I can honor her this way. She never had children of her own. I want to honor her as if I were her own. This is why I learn Korean. This is also why I chose her Hebrew name (Hadassah) as my own when I converted to Judaism (fun fact!).

Thirdly, who doesn't like a good soap opera or some music? And I definitely would love to visit Korea one day. I probably couldn't live there, but I want to visit rather soon before I take guardianship of my brother, and I want to be able to hold my own.

So that's the gist of it. I learned Hangeul in 2020 during quarantine, as did many. It wasn't until a few months into 2021 that I decided to start learning seriously. Because of my problem I talked about earlier, I have ended up in this position of knowing lots of grammar but not having many words off the top of my head to use that grammar. I was on a haitus later in 2021 from learning Korean and now that I'm getting back into it, I'm spending more time on the basics and trying to build a strong foundation.

I'd love to interact with the community! Feel free to message or send asks! Maybe if enough of us get together, we can make some sort of Discord server or Kakaotalk group chat to practice Korean in. That would be really fun.

That's all for now. I might try doing that 'blog resurgence' or whatever it's called as well, since I see @bieups doing it and it looks like a great challenge!

Thank you if you read this far. I hope to meet many new friends.

-Eve

[maridotnet]

good evening 😌 this is gonna be really specific but based off your art i feel like you would be a really friendly and open person.. i think you prefer warmer weather and keep lots of little useless but pretty things around your living space (like rocks, or little trinkets, or broken charms and stuff). i also feel like you love the aesthetic of house plants and either collect them and are really good at taking care of them or you killed your first house plant in a week and never tried owning one again ever since. you know how some people have a resting bitch face? i think you would have the opposite of that, if that makes sense. idk you just seem really approachable and kind. i could be totally wrong abt all this but this is the vibe that i get based off your art alone :P

where do i even START with this it's so nice thank you so much wow okay so you're SPOT ON about the collecting useless things gskfjd - I have jars of rocks and sea glass, I collect yogurt containers in a stack, a lot of my food storage is in jars that I didn't want to throw away, I have lots of tissue paper and ribbons folded away from gifts I've gotten, I have so many birthday cards and letters in a case, etc. I grew up kinda poor, and still am as a college student haha, and also get really stressed about the wastefulness of single-use stuff, so I have a hard time throwing things away if I think I can reuse them. (And a lot of the time, I can! I've been using the same cardboard boxes for moves for three years, and the same cut-in-half milk cartons for desk organizers since sophomore year.) oh I also save all the sticky notes I write and doodle on and make posters out of them!! I'll share a picture of that sometime I LOVE plants yes and i think the houseplant aesthetic is so great!!! unfortunately I don't have enough light in my living space for what I want to grow - I did have some THRIVING mint plants while I was home during quarantine, though. as for being approachable and friendly I think you're right! I hope so anyway!! I spent a long time being super anxious, and now that I'm less so (therapy and fluoxetine gang, rise up), I go out of my way to try and make sure other people are comfortable around me, because I know how much it sucks. i'm not SURE about the rbf - I do know I have a resting sad face sometimes if I'm really focused haha The only thing you were kinda wrong about was the weather! I grew up along the southern border of the US, in a city that was about as tropical as you can get in this country. Warm weather reminds me of home, which is nice, but I CRAVE cool temperatures. I'm staying up north this summer for the first time, in a house without air conditioning, and I'm...terrified of melting... thanks again for this ask!!! it was such a pleasure to read :))

#viv answers #ask

[jarredlharris]

Live-threading my thoughts while listening to the Thereafter Podcast episode featuring Carly Butler.

The following is a transcript of the live-thread I posted while listening Thereafter podcast episode 096.

jarredthewyrdworker

1h

Last week ended up getting pretty busy for me, so I never got a chance to listen to the latest

@thereafterpodcast episode. But I'm going to fix it now. Let's do this!

What are @thepursuinglife and @cortlandcoffey going to talk about now that the ContentWarningEvent is over? 😝 @thereafterpodcast

The chat among the virtual attendees at the ContentWarningEvent was almost as amazing as the panel discussions, to be honest. Everyone involved was just so insightful and thoughtful. (The panelists were fantastic too!) @thereafterpodcast

Looks like a short first segment this episode. We're getting right into the interview with @carlymbutton! @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton mentioned that a lot of people (herself included) started writing a book while in quarantine. @thereafterpodcast

The title of @carlymbutton's forthcoming book is "Apocalypse Child." I'm intrigued already. @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton pointed out the overlap between end times theology and conspiracy theories, and that's something I'd never considered before. @thereafterpodcast

Oh wow, @carlymbutton's mom was hardcore. Moving to someplace without power and everything. @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton: "...and I didn't exist at all." Damn. @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton is talking about having to lie to her friends growing up. That had to have been isolating. @thereafterpodcast

. @carlymbutton is talking about the impact her mother's constant prediction of dates being important only for nothing to happen had on her fading belief. @thereafterpodcast

.@cortlandcoffey (paraphrased): "I don't know as much about the Bible as I probably should for being a former pastor." Oh geez, Cortland. you're just giving your evangelical detractors ammo with that confession. 😝 (Appreciate the honesty, though.) @thereafterpodcast

I'll take a brief pause to get some food before my insulin kicks in. @thereafterpodcast

I have returned with Hot Pockets. I wonder if @thereafterpodcast episodes make a good replacement for Xena tapes when hacking the world. Anyway, on with the show.

.@carlymbutton is talking about how she essentially tested God and I think this is something more people should do. @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton is talking about the struggles faced aging people who believed the end times were near and therefore didn't prepare for old age/retirement. Tragic. @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton is talking a bit about her journey discovering and learning about her indigenous heritage. Amazing stuff. @thereafterpodcast

.@thepursuinglife and @carlymbutton are talking about how their feelings about motherhood and what that should look like have changed. @thereafterpodcast

Yes! @carlymbutton just quoted one of my favorite sayings! "They're so heavenly minded they're no earthly good." @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton on "passing:" "It's not privilege. It's erasure." 🔥 @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton made a reference to the trope about bisexual people not being able to sit properly in chairs and I'm dying. @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton is talking about how writing her book was healing in many ways and it's beautiful. I definitely want to read it. @thereafterpodcast

.@carlymbutton: "I"m always going to be more than one thing." Yep, she's a Libra (says the Gemini). @thereafterpodcast

.@cortlandcoffey is on his soapbox about the importance of pre-ordering books. Not that I disagree with him. I'm just amused by and in admiration of his passion about it. @thereafterpodcast

Another wonderful episode! @thereafterpodcast

#deconstruction podcasts #thereafter podcast #deconstructing religion #end times believers #Spotify