isn’t it?
Description: Years after the battle at Hogwarts, reader runs into an unlikely old friend. A simple invitation to tea leads to much more.
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader
Warnings: alcohol consumption, slow burn babyyy, draco talking about traumatic events in the hp series, me being an american writing about folks in the UK (do not come for me),
Word Count: 10k
A/N: im a draco apologist, what about it. anyways, he gets a redemption arc in this. they’re like 20-23 in this. also had to make my own gif cause most malfoy girlies are 14 year olds from tiktok & don’t appreciate tom in his 20s. logging off forever now
check out the playlist!
Winter was one of my least favorite times of the year because of how horrifically frigid it got. I was never a fan of the cold months. At least not when it was so cold that my fingers would be numb from standing outside for a couple of minutes.
But, it could also one of my most favorite times for the days like this one.
I stepped into the bookstore, glancing around in the soft lighting at all of the cheery decor. They hadn’t yet taken down their Christmas decorations, so twinkling lights were still wrapped around the bookshelves. Snow fell gently outside, making the warmth inside that much more cozy.
I walked around the small shop, looking up and down various shelves until I found the section I was looking for. I started sorting through the various history books, picking out a few that piqued my interest. I slid down a little further, stopping only when I saw that I was encroaching on a stranger’s space.
I turned my head, making sure I hadn’t already gotten too close, when I saw a familiar, bright, blonde head of hair.
“Malfoy,” I breathed out.
His head turned quickly, wide eyes searching for the person who had accidentally called his name. They somehow widened even more when he recognized me and muttered my name, more to himself rather than as a greeting. I found myself walking towards him almost on instinct.
The last time we’d seen each other was years prior. His father had called his name from across the ruins of Hogwarts to join them. He’d stood still and unmoving, up until the point his mother’s voice finally convinced him. He glanced at me briefly before he walked away from the rest of us, and I had assumed I’d never see him again.
We always had a complicated relationship. Even more, it seemed Draco had very complicated feelings about me.
We were friends, for all intents and purposes, but it was a secretive kind of friendship. He was a Slytherin, from a very prejudiced family, and was quite frankly a bully much of the time. I was a Gryffindor, friends with Potter, and though I was a half-blood, I didn’t care for the idea that blood purity had any say in the value of a wizard. That had caused some tension early in our friendship before I knocked a little sense into him. Though, it still caused some problems for us. Especially after his parents heartily disapproved of me in our fifth year.
We’d been friends for nearly a year at that point. He had, rather foolishly, decided to introduce me to his parents over holiday, assuming they would also be willing to love me despite my disdain for blood-purity ideals. We’d left in uncomfortable silence, and, soon after, Draco had explained that his father had instructed him to stay away from me.
Of course, he hadn’t listened.
We still spent time together when we could, even when I’d begun to notice his increasingly tired eyes and gaunt state of being in sixth year. He never let me find out what the matter was until it was too late, however.
I hadn’t seen him after the night Dumbledore was killed until the battle at Hogwarts. Now, I was seeing him in a bookshop in London. A muggle bookshop.
“What…” I started, unsure what to say now. “Wow. It’s good to see you.”
He was silent, staring back at me in shock.
“I’m sorry, um, how’ve you been?” I asked.
He cleared his throat. “I’ve, uh— Fine. I’m fine.”
“What are you doing here? In London, I mean?”
“Searching for something to read,” he said, the ghost of a chuckle leaving him.
“In a muggle shop?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I know, it’s probably strange to see me here.”
“It’s strange to see you anywhere. It’s been…”
“… A long time.”
I nodded in agreement. He looked down at the books in my hands.
“I see you’re still interested in muggle affairs.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, looking at my books. “After leaving Hogwarts I wasn’t really interested in becoming an auror anymore, so I started writing. I do a lot of writing for wizards interested in muggle history. I generally write a lot of magazine pieces, and I’m working on a book now.”
“Wow,” he said with brows raised. “That’s incredible.”
“Thanks. Are you doing anything… I don’t know. Like, for a job?”
“No. That was never really on the table for me, anyways, with my family’s—“ he sighed. “You know. All of that.”
“Right,” I nodded with half a smile. He’d always been raised with the idea that he’d be living off of the generational wealth. “What are you looking at here?”
“I still need hobbies, so I’ve taken up a lot of reading. Muggle fiction books have been particularly interesting to me lately.”
“Huh. Never expected that to come out of your mouth.”
He raised his brows quickly, nodding along slowly. He looked back to the book in his hands.
“They tend to think that witches are evil, mythical creatures. They also don’t believe that giants or dragons or werewolves exist. They’re all viewed as freaks to the muggles,” he said, looking back at me. “Most of the time, we’re all seen as the villain in their stories.”
I shrugged. “Yeah. Everyone sees things differently. Usually the hatred comes in when they don’t care to learn about people who aren’t like them.”
He swallowed, looking down once again.
“I’m beginning to realize that much more, now.”
We both went quiet for a few seconds as a question was formulating in my head.
“Would you like to come over to mine for some tea?”
His eyes snapped to mine. He furrowed his brow, obviously not expecting the invitation.
“Really?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
He just stood there, unmoving like I was going to burst out laughing at him at any moment. He watched me with wary eyes, not responding.
“If you want to,” I added at last. “I don’t want to pressure you.”
“Uh, that would be nice. Yes.”
“Okay. Um, I’m going to go buy these now.”
I held up my books, then turned for the register. I finished after a few minutes, lingering near the door until he followed after with his own bag.
“So, where you do you live?” he asked as we walked out into the cold.
“Guildford. In Surrey.”
“How do you usually—“
“Take my hand,” I said, holding out my free hand.
He switched his bag over to the opposite hand, putting his cold one in mine. In a flash we were on my street. He looked up at the street lamps that were starting to turn on as the sky dimmed slowly. I let him take in his surroundings for a moment.
“Ready?” I asked after a beat.
He looked at me, snow sticking to his eyelashes.
“Ready,” he confirmed.
We started forward on the sidewalk, heading in the direction of my building.
“Are you still in Wiltshire with your parents?”
He nodded. “Yes. Though, I don’t see them much anymore. I’m usually out for most of the day if I can help it.”
“You don’t get along much anymore?”
He shrugged. “They disagree with a lot of my choices.”
“I see.”
We stepped into the foyer of my building, walking up to the third floor and wandering through the hall until we got to the door of my flat. I suddenly turned, his brows raising slightly as I looked at him.
“I feel like I need to tell you that I don’t live anywhere particularly… Special.”
“I don’t mind,” he shrugged.
I nodded, a small smile on my face as I unlocked the door.
It felt strange to have anyone in my flat, let alone someone I hadn’t seen for years after they’d betrayed my friends and myself. Usually, I only had over a few very close friends every few weeks. I wasn’t exactly prepared for company, and I felt that it showed as I pulled down two mismatched mugs. He lingered in the kitchen with me, looking entirely uncomfortable, his hands repeatedly clenching and releasing as if it would relieve whatever anxieties he was facing. I gave him a soft smile after setting the mugs on the counter near him.
“This cabinet here,” I started, pointing at the one next to the oven, “has all the teas. You can choose whichever one you’d like.”
He nodded, moving forward towards the cabinet as I filled the kettle with water. I set it on the stovetop, turning it on. He nervously looked through the various tea flavors for a few more seconds, then turned to me.
“Which one would you like?”
I looked at him, noticing that he hadn’t picked for himself yet.
“Are you asking in earnest, or do you need a recommendation?”
His cheeks flushed slightly as he gave me a small smile.
“Both.”
“I’d love an earl grey. I’ve got one that has some lavender in it as well, and it is delightful.”
He nodded quickly, pulling down two tea bags.
“That sounds nice.”
I smiled to myself, a little out of sorts at how polite he’d become. We waited in a strange kind of silence until I heard the water beginning to bubble in the kettle. I pulled it off the heat, filling the mugs Draco had popped the bags into earlier. He looked at me curiously.
“You know,” he began, pulling my attention to his amused face, “you’re supposed to wait until the kettle whistles.”
I shrugged. “I prefer to get to it before it starts up. I’m almost never too busy to have to listen to that horrible whistling.”
He laughed softly, nodding his head in understanding. I led him to the small table in my kitchen, and much to my surprise, he took the seat next to me rather than across the way. It was quiet for a minute or two, neither of us really sure what we were doing in my kitchen together.
“Can I ask something?” he blurted out.
“Sure,” I replied with a nod.
“Why did you invite me here?”
I shrugged. “I thought it might be nice to talk. It’s been a long time.”
“But I haven’t spoken to you since… You know. What’s the use in trying to talk to me now?”
“You agreed, didn’t you?”
He smirked, but it was a more gentle kind than what he would usually pull back in the day. Not full of cocky disdain for others, and more a way to tell me that I’d bested him with the simple phrase. It was nice.
We sat quietly for a few more minutes, each sipping our tea. I suddenly realized, only after inviting him into my home, that I had no clue what to talk to him about. I let out a soft breath, looking at him to find him already looking in my direction. I gave him a soft smile that he returned. Though, it quickly fell, and the both of us tilted our heads down again.
“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, “for leaving that day. When my mother called me over.”
I looked at him in surprise, staring up from my teacup.
He continued, “I should’ve stayed with you. With all of you. I was just in so deep at that point, and I couldn’t say no to her. And I know that isn’t an excuse, but I didn’t know what to do anymore. I was sure that the second something went sideways again, after all that I’d done, I would probably be the first one to die. I don’t know why nobody killed me in the meantime before V-Voldemort and the others came back with Potter.”
“Where did you go? After the room of requirement was set on fire?”
“I hid,” he mumbled, looking down at his tea. “I’ve always been a coward. I think I’ve deserved everything that’s happened to me after all of that.”
We sat after that, sipping our tea like nothing had been said to begin with. I looked back at him. He’d changed so much in the few years he’d been gone, and yet he was so different. He looked practically the same. Maybe a little healthier. He acted like a new person, though. All of that youthful bravado was gone, and what was left was quiet and remorseful and entirely not like the Draco I’d known in school. It shocked me more and more the longer we sat.
I sighed softly. “Draco?”
He looked at me with wide eyes.
“You haven’t called me that in forever.”
“I haven’t seen you in as long.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah. I suppose so.”
I took in a breath, watching him a few seconds longer before I spoke.
“You know it’s never too late to change things, right? I know that you and your mother both made some decisions we never would’ve expected you to at the end, there. Harry told me.”
“That means nothing. I’ve always despised Potter. I was cruel to him every day, but he still saved my life. You all fought. You were all brave. Not giving him up one time was nothing compared to what all of the rest of you did.”
“You can still change things now, Draco.”
He shook his head.
“It’ll never be enough. I walked away from all of you when we thought Potter had died. I know you saw me doing it, too, and I know you were disappointed in me for it. Probably hated me,” he said, a humorless chuckle leaving him for a moment. “You were standing there by Granger and Weasley, and I looked at you right before I started across the courtyard, and you were already looking back at me. Looked like you could’ve killed me yourself.”
I swallowed, not taking my eyes off of him the entire time he spoke.
“I wanted better for you. I’d always hoped you would really, sincerely change for the better at some point, and it just never seemed to come,” I mentioned with a half-hearted shrug. “When I saw you walking out just in front of Luna, I hoped it meant you would stay with us. That you’d changed sides after Harry had gotten you out of the fire. Watching you leave after that…”
“I know. I’m shocked you even spoke to me in the bookshop.”
“I was shocked to see you at all. Especially in a muggle bookstore. I know you’d gotten off the hook after the war because of what you did for Harry, but honestly, I never thought you’d change. Not really, anyways.”
He nodded, looking away from me again. He only glanced back up once I continued speaking.
“But you have, now. That much is clear. You’re kinder now.”
“I don’t think I am.”
“You agreed to have tea with me. You willingly had a conversation with me in that bookstore rather than walking away from me. I thought for sure that you would when I saw you there.”
He shook his head. “I might have if it was anyone else. I wouldn’t do that to you, though. You were the only person who was kind to me in school. You’re the only one who really cared or noticed something was wrong in sixth year.”
“Do you really not see it?” I asked, laughing incredulously.
He furrowed his brow. “What?”
“You never would have told me any of this before. Draco, I know that you had done some horrible things, but it’s not too late to be different. And you’re already so different.”
He merely stared for a moment or two.
“I think I should go,” he said quietly. “Thank you for inviting me.”
He stood abruptly, walking off towards the kitchen door. I followed after him, just barely reaching him as we reached my entry way. I reached out, grabbing his wrist. His eyes were wide as he turned his head towards me, casting his gaze towards where my hand held him from going any further.
“Just…” I sighed, putting on a smile. “Don’t be afraid to send an owl sometime.”
He nodded, his voice small, “Okay.”
I finally let him go, watching him take his coat and bag of of books, and walk out the door.
A few weeks later I sat at my desk at home, unable to get past a terrible bout of writer’s block. I hadn’t considered when writing a book that it wasn’t simply writing a long article. I had to craft each chapter in a meaningful way, and unfortunately, that meant that I had to get anything at all on paper. I sighed hard, needing an outlet for my dramatics. Suddenly, an unfamiliar owl was at my window. I opened it up, and the owl dropped a letter right on my window, staring almost curiously at me.
You requested that I send an owl sometime. I hope that you meant it, otherwise you can feel free to ignore this letter. Assuming you did mean it, I’d like to invite you to lunch on the thirteenth of February. I hope you’re well.
Draco
I looked up at the owl on my windowsill.
“Just a moment,” I said to it.
It chirped lightly in response. I quickly picked up some new parchment and a quill, scribbling out a response before I folded it and put it in an envelope. I reached into my bottom desk drawer, giving the owl a treat before handing off the letter.
“Thank you. Go home, now.”
The owl flew off into the sky, leaving me with a smile and an even emptier brain.
The date he’d suggested was less than a week out from when he’d sent his letter, and it arrived much sooner than I was expecting. He’d sent another letter soon after mine had arrived, telling me the time and location, and soon enough I was pulling on my shoes in order to leave.
I showed up outside of the café. Surprisingly, another muggle location. I walked inside, being greeted by a hostess.
“Hi, I’m supposed to be meeting someone here, um…”
“She’s with me,” Draco said, coming up near the hostess stand.
I smiled at him gratefully, my demeanor obviously edging on discomfort. He led me back to our table, pulling out my seat for me.
“Thank you,” I said, scooting in a little closer. “So, why this place?”
“Easier to make reservations and avoid judgements eating at muggle restaurants. They’re not exactly familiar with the Malfoy name.”
“Ah,” I nodded in understanding. “Makes sense. Well, it’s nice here.”
“It is. They have great soup.”
I laughed, looking down at the menu.
“What?” he asked with a smile.
“It’s just weird. Being here with you, and… talking about soup.”
“We could talk about sandwiches if you’d like.”
I laughed again, finding him doing the same. The afternoon ended up delightfully strange. We finished our food, and found ourselves on a walk around town, chatting about what we’d been doing in the years since we’d last seen one another.
In the final moments, I’d convinced him to visit another bookstore with me the following week.
It started to become a bit of a habit, really. We’d keep finding new places to bring one another to, and, for me, new excuses to keep seeing him. I didn’t necessarily have feelings for him, but I couldn’t deny that I found myself enjoying his company much more than I had as a teenager.
One chilly night in March, I’d come home from dinner with a friend absolutely wiped. I was more than ready to head off to bed after sitting around on my couch for a rerun of an old favorite show.
Though, halfway through the episode, there was a knock on my door. I walked over the front door, wand in hand as I wasn’t expecting any visitors at night. I looked through the peephole, hiding away the wand when I recognized the face outside the door. I opened it right afterwards.
“Hey,” he greeted, standing just outside my door.
My brows raised on instinct as he looked a little inebriated.
“Hi,” I said mindlessly. “What are you doing here?”
He looked down to the floor, shrugging a little. He rubbed at his face before he looked back at me.
“I might’ve been at the pub down the street. I thought about you there,” he swallowed. “Thought it might be nice to see you.”
“Do you want to come in?”
He nodded silently, stepping past me into my apartment. I shut and locked the door, turning to see him looking around the space. He looked back at me after a moment, a confused pout coming across his face as his eyes dropped to my outfit.
“Were you busy?”
I shook my head. “No, I just got home a bit ago.”
“Where’d you go?” he asked, toeing his shoes off to leave them near mine.
“Got dinner with Luna Lovegood.”
“Oh,” he nodded. “She still… Herself?”
“Draco,” I scolded.
“Sorry.”
I helped him take his coat off as he started struggling with the sleeves.
“Luna’s still an absolute sweetheart, as she’s always been,” I mentioned as I draped his jacket on a coat hook.
He wore a sage green sweater under the jacket, and it brought the slightest smile to my face that he still preferred his house colors when he wasn’t decked out in all black. He started wandering into my flat, looking around the living room.
“I like your home,” he said at last.
“Thank you,” I replied with a small laugh. “I’m going to go get you some water. Probably some ibuprofen too. It might help prevent a massive headache tomorrow.”
He nodded, not quite paying attention as he started walking around again. Once I gathered the cup of water and the medicine, I was at a loss. He’d escaped the living room. I walked around, checking the bathroom first, before finding my bedroom lamp on. I stepped into the room, finding him plopped down on my bed. This time, I couldn’t help but laugh fully.
He lifted his head with a quirked brow.
“What?”
“You. Laying there like you’ve just had your very first drink.”
“You’ve got a comfortable bed.”
“I’m aware,” I nodded, kneeling on the mattress next to him. “Come and drink some water, now.”
He sat up with a groan, accepting the ibuprofen and the cup from me. He drank down the water quickly, letting out a sigh as he handed back the empty cup.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, dropping back down.
He was quiet for a few seconds as I set down the empty cup on my nightstand, just staring at the ceiling.
“Is it okay that I came here?”
I furrowed my brow, laying on my back next to him.
“I’m happy you showed up here rather than going and causing trouble someplace else.”
“You’ve always been a good person,” he said with a sigh. “Why were you ever friends with me? I was awful.”
“Seemed like you needed someone good in your life. You were surrounded by some truly terrible people,” I mentioned with a chuckle. “When we ended up seated next to one another in potions and you actually laughed at jokes I made that weren’t at the expense of another person, I realized you might not be totally hopeless.”
He laughed. No— he giggled, covering his face with his hands.
“You know, my other friends hated you,” he said, voice muffled.
I reached over, pulling his hands away from his face. He smiled softly as I did, watching me as he continued talking.
“They all thought I went crazy for being friends with you. Blaise told me I was going to get kicked out of Slytherin if I kept it up, and Parkinson was really upset because she wasn’t the only girl around me anymore.”
“I always thought she had a crush on you.”
He hummed. “Yeah, I think so. It was kind of annoying, to be honest. At first I liked the attention, but it got old very quickly.”
“I can imagine.”
“You know what I always thought?”
I shrugged. “No clue.”
“I thought for forever that Potter had it bad for you. Up until he started crushing on the Weasley girl, I was convinced.”
“Really?”
“Mhm,” he nodded, looking back at the ceiling. “Either him or Longbottom. They were always around you.”
“Because we were friends,” I said with a laugh. “I still see them sometimes, you know?”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow. I haven’t seen my school friends since, well, everything happened.”
“You’ve seen me, at least.”
He smiled a little.
“That’s true. Nobody else, though. Maybe that’s a good thing.”
“I think it probably is.”
A silence fell over us for a few moments. I stared at the sheets in between us, brushing my fingers across them.
“Why are you so nice to me?” he asked, voice just above a whisper.
“Why would I be cruel?”
He sighed dejectedly. “I deserve it. I was— I’ve done terrible things.”
I sighed softly. “I know what you’ve done, Draco. I was kind of there for much of it.”
A smile tugged at his lips, though he shoved it away just as quickly as it appeared.
“There’s still a lot you don’t know,” he said at last. “You wouldn’t stick around if you did.”
“I would.”
“No, you wouldn’t.”
I fell silent again for a minute or so, milling over what to say next in my head. I heard him let out a soft breath, and turned my eyes to watch him. His hair was messier than usual, with his natural waves sneaking their way out of the gelled constraints they were usually stuck in. His skin glowed in the soft lighting of my bedroom, especially now that the constant dark circles he’d worn for the past few years were gradually fading away with time.
He called my name in question. I hummed in response, turning my body to face him, listening as he started speaking again.
“I just,” he sighed, taking a moment. “I wonder if things would’ve been different if I told you back then. Or anyone.”
“It might have changed things a little, but at that point, do you think you would’ve been able to avoid what you had to do?”
He shook his head. “No. It just might have been nice for someone to know.“
“I think you would be too stubborn to tell anyone, though,” I said with half a smile.
He smiled back, looking down at the mattress as he nodded.
“I definitely would’ve been. That’s part of the reason I never told you in the first place.”
I raised a brow. “What was the other part?”
He swallowed, looking at me again.
“I was worried you might put yourself in danger.”
“How?”
He snorted a laugh. “If you think I was stubborn, you have got to know that you were much worse. You probably would’ve tried helping me at the worst possible moment and gotten yourself killed.”
I scoffed. “I’m not that dumb.”
“You could act like it sometimes.”
My eyes widened as he hid a smile.
“Oh, so you do still like to make fun of me, huh?”
“Old habits are hard to beat.”
“You still secretly like dancing?”
His smile fell a bit as he thought it over.
“I haven’t really had a reason to since… Everything.”
Whatever came over me in that moment to drive my actions could possibly be instinct to comfort an old friend. It could’ve been the need to reach out to someone clearly in pain. It could’ve just been that I wanted to touch him. I scooted closer, resting my head on his chest. My hand rested on his stomach, and I felt him sigh softly through it. He didn’t say anything, but I did feel him go a bit rigid.
I lifted my head up when I noticed the stiffness in his body.
“I-I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first,” I rushed out, “Is this okay?”
His cheeks turned slowly pink as he stared back at me, nodding.
“I, um,” he let out a quick breath, “Yes. I just don’t really ever—“
Understanding dawned on me. “Oh. Well, it’s just like a hug.”
He stared back once again, unmoving for a few moments. I furrowed my brow in question as he looked away from my face.
“The only person, um, who ever really hugs me is… mum.”
I watched him quietly, unsure what to say. It had always been evident that he never had a shot at a normal childhood, but I hadn’t considered how much of that normalcy was completely stripped from his life. He closed his eyes.
“I don’t know why I said that,” he said quietly. “That’s so humiliating.”
“No, no,” I said, brushing some of his hair from his face before quickly pulling away. “Not at all. That isn’t your fault.”
“If I wasn’t such a horrible child…”
“It may have helped to make real friends, but you were raised in an echo chamber of hatred. For the longest time you didn’t know how to be anything but mean. Clearly, if your own father didn’t even hug you as a child.”
He bit the inside of his cheek, nodding slowly.
“Plus,” I added, “things are so different now. I saw you starting to change a little back then. I wasn’t the only one to notice either, you should’ve seen my friends’ faces when you smiled at me in passing on the way to classes the first time. Since then, things have changed tenfold. Why not lean into that?”
He nodded again, giving me the faintest smile imaginable. I settled back against his chest, finally feeling his arms carefully wrapping around me. They just barely rested over top of me, not dissimilar to how an adult would try to hug a toddler. I let one arm stretch across his torso, holding him tightly, and, eventually, he held me just as tight.
I opened my eyes to sun-washed sheets, and a breathing pillow under my head. I tilted my head up, seeing him still absolutely passed out. His breathing came soft and steady, and he looked utterly at peace. I only looked away from his sleeping form when he started stirring. He let out a soft little groan, his arms tightening around me slightly. Only after he gave a sigh did I have the nerve to look back at his face.
“Good morning,” I said.
He smiled softly. “Morning. M’sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep here.”
“That’s okay. I don’t mind,” I looked down at our clothes. “Just a bit unfortunate we fell asleep in these clothes. Not the most comfortable.”
He laughed. “Yes. Maybe next time it would be better not to be wearing trousers. I think I’d personally prefer some flannel pajamas.”
“I’m partial to sleep shorts.”
He let out another small laugh, as did I. His cheeks were tinged pink as he looked back at me, though I can’t say I didn’t feel the heat rising in my face as well.
“How are you feeling?”
He shrugged lightly. “Surprisingly fine. Thanks for taking care of me last night.”
“Any time, Malfoy.”
I reluctantly pulled myself out of his arms, sitting up in the bed. I stretched out my arms above my head, then turned to him once again to announce I’d be back in a moment. I found myself doing my usual bathroom duties in a kind of haze. There was a smile stuck to my face that I couldn’t quite get rid of. I chose not to look into it too much, especially as I reentered the bedroom to find him rubbing at his sleep-ridden eyes.
“There’s an extra toothbrush I left in the bathroom for you. It should be the yellow one next to mine,” I mentioned.
He gave me a small smile, nodding his head.
“Thanks.”
I hummed in response. “I’ll be in the kitchen. Tea and toast sound okay?”
“You don’t have to do that,” he said, standing up.
I merely raised a brow at him as he drew closer. He silently conceded, following me out of the bedroom in order for each of us to get to what we needed to. I filled the kettle, put the bread in the toaster, and somehow managed to spill my entire cup of water all over the floor after setting out the mugs. I grumbled to myself, getting down with a towel to clean up my mess.
“Clumsy one, aren’t you?” he asked with a laugh as he found me crouched down on the floor.
I looked up to where he stood near the sink, feigning annoyance at his cheery state. I stood up, crossing over to wring the towel out.
“Wait,” he exclaimed, though too late.
I stepped forward, not seeing the bit of spilled water I hadn’t cleaned up. I slipped and, in an attempt not to tumble to the floor, grabbed onto his arms. He laughed at me as I regained my balance, earning him a furrowed brow and a hidden smile of my own.
“Don’t laugh at me.”
“It was funny,” he defended. “You should’ve seen your face.”
I squeezed his forearms briefly before beginning to drop my hands. Though, the way his face dropped as I did so kept me from completely breaking contact.
“Are you okay?”
He swallowed. “Yeah, I’m— It’s fine.”
I quirked a brow, unbelieving.
“I’m not buying that. What’s wrong?”
He looked down, his eyes quickly darting to where my hand was placed on his left arm. I took in a breath.
“Oh,” I said quietly. “Do you… It’s still there, isn’t it?”
He nodded slowly. “Yes.”
I firmed my hold on his arms again, gently rubbing my thumbs against the fabric of his sweater.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s my own fault.”
“I’m still sorry. I’ve never thought about the fact you’d always have to hide it.”
He breathed out slowly, shakily, still looking down.
“Is there any way to rid yourself of it?” I asked after a beat.
“No,” he shook his head. “There are some charms I can use temporarily to hide it if I need to, but nothing permanent works. It’s forever.”
I nodded, looking back at his face until he met my eye. He cleared his throat, pulling his arms from out of my grasp.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”
“I’m used to it. I haven’t forgotten your little attitude every time you spotted me with Harry or one of the others.”
I reached down to grab the towel I had dropped.
He rolled his eyes playfully. “I couldn’t help it. You were so likable, and they were just...”
“My friends. So watch it, Malfoy,” I scolded with a smirk.
“Right,” he nodded, fighting a smile himself. “Everyone has their flaws.”
I scoffed out a laugh, lightly slapping his shoulder with the back of my hand. He laughed, leaning against the counter.
“Right then, you can pour your own tea,” I noted as I wrung out the towel.
“You’ll still get the toast though?”
I furrowed my brow as I tossed the towel down, turning to him.
“Only because you don’t know where I keep the plates or else you’d be on your own.”
He gave me a knowing smirk, taking the kettle just before it began whistling to fill both of our mugs. I took down the plates, setting the toast on each of them before getting the butter and jam set out. We set to work, side by side, on preparing our breakfast. It felt oddly normally as we went about our business, putting everything away before we sat at the kitchen table.
We found ourselves laughing over nothing in particular before we knew it, and, eventually, it was dark outside once again. The surprise on his face told me all that I needed to know as he looked out the window and declared that he should probably be going on his way. I walked him to the door, watching as he gathered his things again, and as he apparated away.
Our owls were sent back and forth over the next few weeks, and though we saw each other frequently, I couldn’t help but let my mind wander on the days we didn’t have much communication. Frankly, it wandered a great deal even when we were together. Usually to his eyes. The way he’d look at me when we’d stop talking. Or the way he’d smile when we did some silly activity together. Or his laugh when I’d make a stupid jokes. Or his hands.
May came quickly, and with it came warmer weather. It was nice to have my windows open whenever it wasn’t raining, and it was absolutely wonderful to have lakeside picnics or nighttime strolls through the nearby park as the month bled into June. Those little outdoor escapades started to become a habit. A way of being out in the world together with nobody else around.
Not that alone time was necessarily important to us. It certainly didn’t make my cheeks flush with heat every time we sat completely by ourselves on a picnic blanket with favorite snacks of mine that he’d somehow remembered and brought along when he showed up at my door. I most definitely hadn’t made a habit to lie to myself about the entire ordeal.
“Walk?” he asked after we’d finished playing a game of wizard chess.
I nodded. “Of course. It’s a gorgeous night, we may as well enjoy it, right?”
He smiled, standing and taking my hands to help me off the ground near my coffee table. We pulled on our shoes, and headed out. It was warm, and the most gentle breeze went through the new leaves on the trees as we passed them. He made silly conversation with me as we kept on, so much so that we’d lost track of the time. I could only tell it had been a while when my legs started growing a bit tired.
We sat on a bench nearby after our walk through the park, relishing in the warm night air of the summertime.
“The moon looks beautiful tonight,” I commented.
He hummed in agreement.
“It does,” he said, suddenly putting on a small smile. “That’s one benefit to me staying out all hours of the night with you.”
I laughed. “Oh dear. You may just have to stay over again. How horrible. It’s not like you can apparate home at any moment.”
“This is your fault, you know? You just have to live so far away,” he said in feigned annoyance, ignoring the last sentence I’d spoken. “Maybe I should just make friends elsewhere.”
“Yet, you still accept every time I suggest some kind of activity for us to do rather than finding new friends. Why’s that?”
“You’re… Different,” he whispered, like it was some miraculous secret.
“How?”
He sighed softly. “People back home, what I grew up with— It’s nothing like this. Everyone is cold. They all care so much about the wrong things.”
“You think I care about the right things?”
He smiled softly. “You care about me. That’s enough.”
“Who would’ve guessed Malfoy would become such a softie,” I mentioned with a smirk. “Oh, how things change.”
“Some things don’t,” he said with a shrug. “You still somehow choose to be my friend.”
“All that childhood bullying and teenage depression captivated me.”
He furrowed his brows, an unbelieving laugh passing his lips. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, looking around at the park as it was washed in moonlight. I felt his fingers brush against my hand, and I willingly opened my palm to him. He slid his hand into mine, lacing our fingers together and giving a gentle squeeze.
“Look up,” he said quietly, and I obliged. He pointed up at the stars in the clear sky. “There’s a constellation there. Just between the… It’s right by ursa major, the plough constellation.”
“Mhm,” I hummed along.
“Right along here,” he traced a line of stars in my vision. “Do you know what that constellation is called?”
“Can’t say that I do, no.”
“Draco. It was called that because it kind of resembles a dragon. I don’t know for sure if my parents named me because of the constellation, but I like to think so.”
I smiled, glancing at him rather than the stars. He looked at peace as he stared up into the sky, his thumb gently rubbing against my hand. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye after a minute, at which point I looked back into the night. The stars really were beautiful that night. They looked brighter than normal, and the constellation patters I did recognize were easy to spot. Now, there was a new one I wouldn’t soon forget.
I heard him sigh next to me after a few minutes, and turned my head slightly to find he was already looking at me. This time, neither of us looked away.
“You’re my best friend,” he said, almost too quietly to hear.
Unsure of what to say in that moment, and wanting to do more than offer a smile, I leaned my head against his shoulder. He let out another soft breath, dropping his head against mine. I brought our connected hands up, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his.
“When was the last time you were in Hogsmeade?” I asked quietly.
He gave a soft chuckle to that.
We walked down the street the next day in the afternoon, everything looking quite different now that the weather was quite warm.
“It’s strange not being here in the wintertime,” I noted.
He nodded. “It is. I haven’t been in years.”
We walked up to a familiar building, and I reached out to him. I grabbed his hand, pulling him into the pub. We were offered a seat, but not before receiving several stares.
“You might not want to be holding my hand in front of everyone here,” Draco leaned in to whisper.
“I’m not terribly worried about being seen with you, you know?” I whispered back in reply. “Anyone who knows me is already aware that we used to be friends.”
We sat at the table, placed our orders, and were left alone once again. He let out a breath, looking a bit uncomfortable.
“Seriously, don’t worry about all of them,” I said, leaning on the table. “Half of everyone in here were secretly on the wrong side anyways. They just fly under the radar because they don’t come from a powerful family.”
“Still. I don’t want to drag you down with me.”
“You aren’t. Besides, I’m used to people judging me for being around you.”
He deadpanned. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“My point is that I don’t care about being seen with you. Okay?”
He swallowed, sighing softly.
“You make it terribly difficult to try and protect you.”
“Probably because I don’t need to be protected. Stop worrying about me so much,” I stated with a laugh.
“Can’t help it,” he replied, a small smirk on his face.
Our drinks were brought to the table, along with some assorted appetizers.
“Just don’t tell your parents that we’re friends this time,” I joked, hoping that wouldn’t strike a chord.
He snorted. “I already have.”
I straightened in surprise, looking at him with curious eyes. He glanced at me, a partial smile on his face when he saw my shock.
“And you’re still allowed to live with them?”
“It’s been a long time since they’ve tried to make decisions for me like that. After practically forcing me to become a, uh—“
“Yep.”
He nodded, thankful he didn’t have to say it.
“After that happened, my father laid off. Mother still worries for me, but she knows now that at least I’m safe. That’s all that’s ever really mattered to her.”
“They still hate me, though?”
“Pretty much,” he said with a curt nod.
I smiled to myself, sipping at my drink. He shook his head.
“You look pleased with yourself.”
“I’m sorry to say, but I don’t really feel too terrible that they don’t like me.”
“I know,” he said.
I looked back up to see a small smile on his face as well.
“Also, most of that smile is because I haven’t had a butterbeer in a terribly long time.”
Two months flew by after our visit to Hogsmeade. Though, it was filled with almost daily visits with one another. Usually, he’d just show up and keep me company as I wrote. Sometimes, he’d even give input when I asked for it, or let me read him chapters to see how it sounded. His sleepovers even became more frequent, and part of me had to wonder what on earth anyone would think of it if they knew.
I’d told my friends bits and pieces of what had been taking up so much of my time over the last eight months, but not quite the whole story. Luckily, they hadn’t been too angry with me for it. Most of them were rather indifferent, especially after I’d told them about how he’d changed. I never expected them to forgive him, though. I wouldn’t believe how different things had become if I hadn’t seen how he’d changed for myself.
But he truly did. And it was incredible.
During the breaks I’d take from writing, he was usually excited to tell me about the muggle books he’d been reading. Sometimes out of surprise at the content, and sometimes just because he appreciated the writing.
The icing on top was being with him and running into Ron and Hermione. The looks on their faces when he was gentle and kind in their interaction was absolutely priceless. She’d written me days later to ask if I’d found his long-lost twin, not quite believing that he was capable of being anything but who he used to be. But, as I’d repeatedly told Draco himself: it’s not only possible for people to change for the good, it’s probable for those who care to.
So, our days passed comfortably. He only became more kind and, frankly, affectionate, as time went on.
It was on a beautiful August evening when he knocked on my door, our plans already set in place.
I tugged the door open at the sound and took him in, my brows raised slightly. He was in a white button-down and a black sweater vest. There was a messenger back slung across his chest, one hand with a silver ring adorning it held the strap. His cheeks were slightly pink from the weather outside, and he practically glowed. For lack of a better word, he just looked pretty.
He furrowed his brow, looking back at me.
“Everything alright?”
I nodded fast. “Yeah. You just look really nice today.”
“Oh,” he replied, cheeks suddenly flushed. “You also look nice. I like your blouse.”
“Thanks.”
“I brought something,” he said, giving me a shy smile.
“Okay,” I said curiously. “Are you going to at least take off your shoes?”
He shook his head. “No. In fact, you should probably put yours on.”
I furrowed my brow, though I listened anyways. I started pulling on my shoes.
“I thought we were going to have dinner here first, and then go to the cinema.”
“Change of plans,” he shrugged.
“Alright,” I laughed, still unsure.
He pulled a small object out of the bag he carried, unfolding the cloth around it to reveal a small stone statue. I quirked a brow, looking down at the little object.
“What’s this?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“On the count of three, reach out to it and hold on.”
“Draco, is this a portkey?”
“One…”
“Is this one even legal?”
“Two…”
“You’re insane.”
“Three.”
We both held onto the small statue, and in an instant we were in some alleyway. I took in a sudden breath, feeling out of sorts from the transport.
“Where did you get that?”
“My family has had it forever,” he said, wrapping it back up and tucking it into his bag.
“Where are we?”
He smiled at me, taking my hand. I followed him along blindly, until he lead me into a building. I looked around at the tall ceilings and the beautiful chandelier that hung in the middle.
“Wow,” I said, mostly to myself.
He walked us up to the front desk, greeting the clerk in French. My eyes widened as they continued a conversation, ending only when he took a key from her. He then began leading me towards the elevator, still not loosening his grip on my hand.
“I didn’t know you spoke French.”
He smirked as he pressed the elevator button.
“I brought a few things with in my bag, but I didn’t bring any clothes. I thought we could get whatever else we needed here.”
I quirked a brow as we stepped into the elevator. He hit the button for the right floor.
“How long were you planning on staying?” I asked with a laugh.
“Just tonight and daytime tomorrow. We could stay longer if you want to?”
“No, that’s plenty,” I replied, a smile stuck to my face. “This is crazy.”
“Is it?”
“Practically clinically insane.”
He laughed, pulling me out into the hall. He walked us down the hallway, opening the right door when we arrived, and letting me walk in ahead of him. The room was huge. It had a beautiful sitting area, and judging by the height of the curtains, I was sure the windows would be gorgeous. He called me over as he entered the bedroom through large double doors, and I took it all in. He dropped his bag and flopped down onto the huge mattress.
“Whoa,” I said finally, shaking my head. “I don’t know what else to say.”
I fell down next to him on the bed, smiling over at him when he turned his head to me.
“You like it?”
“This is too much, Draco. Really,” I began. “But, it’s amazing.”
“I have one more thing to show you before we get dinner.”
“What else could there possibly be?”
“You’ve seen the eiffel tower before?”
I shook my head. “Only in pictures.”
He stood quickly, and I sat, watching him circle the bed. He grabbed the tall curtains, pulling them apart with force. I stilled before scrambling to my feet and meeting him at the window. I looked out the practically-floor-to-ceiling windows to see the tower glittering against the night sky. I sighed, absolutely wonderstruck.
“Beautiful, isn’t it? One thing I’m sure the muggles got right.”
I laughed, unbelieving, turning to throw my arms around his middle. He held me against him, resting his head on top of mine as we looked out the window again.
“We’ll have all night to stare out the window if you’d like to, but I don’t think the restaurant we’re eating at will wait as long.”
I looked at him, a smile still stuck to my face. He smiled back, just as gently, tucking some hair behind my ear. I felt my heart beat a little faster then, especially as he didn’t look away from me this time. Usually at this point, one of us would have come up with some clever distraction from whatever tension laid between us. It was silent, but not uncomfortable. There was almost a whisper of ‘tell the truth’ floating there, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to open my mouth to speak. He moved forward the slightest bit, though before anything could happen, he did speak.
“We really should go,” he said as a whisper. “Our reservation is in five minutes, and I’d feel horrible if we missed it.”
He gave a boyish smile, one that I couldn’t help but to return, even if I’d secretly hoped for a different outcome. I nodded silently, accepting his hand again once we walked to the door. We apparated near a relatively quiet street, stepping out onto the sidewalk in order to integrate into the other pedestrians. We walked into a small restaurant hidden through a wall. I hadn’t expected him to take me to a wizards-only restaurant, but especially not one that had me forcefully closing my jaw after it had involuntarily dropped.
“Dray, this is incredible, but it might be a little above my pay grade,” I mentioned, leaning in a bit to speak quietly.
He hummed. “That’s why instead of splitting the bill how you like, I’m just going to pay for it.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s not fair.”
“Just let me be nice,” he said, turning the tables to scold me for once.
“Are you sure I’m not underdressed?”
“You look beautiful. Quit worrying.”
I attempted to drop my hand from his as he spoke with the hostess, though his grip only tightened a bit. I felt my cheeks flush a little when he flashed me a knowing smirk and the raise of a brow. We started walking back into the restaurant behind the waitress after a moment.
I spoke quietly as we went, “What, are you trying to romance me now, Malfoy?”
He gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
“Maybe I am. Are you opposed?”
I hid a smile. “No.”
“Thank Merlin for that,” he muttered under his breath, earning a laugh from me.
Dinner was beautiful, and wildly delicious. It definitely helped that I wasn’t terribly worried about the bill. I also can’t say I hated the idea of his family’s money going towards the meal of a wizard who was against practically everything they stood for. It felt like a small victory. Though, it was a bit strange to be surrounded by wizards who weren’t preoccupied with staring at us.
We stepped out of the restaurant, and rather than zipping someplace else, he was determined to walk to our next destination. He held my hand in his like he was afraid he’d lose me if he didn’t, swinging our arms along without a care.
“You seem happy,” I commented.
“I am,” he affirmed, bumping into me slightly. “I’m with you, for one. Plus, we haven’t received a single sideways glance from anyone around here. It’s nice that you’re the only person who knows me.”
I smiled to myself at that, letting him start swinging our arms again. He grinned over at me as we walked past crowds of people that grew increasingly larger. We probably looked ridiculous, but I certainly didn’t care. Not when I’d never seen him happier.
“So, I’ve got a question for you,” I said.
“Go on, then.”
“Why did you bring me to Paris?”
He glanced at me again, eyes a little wider. I raised one brow in question. He cleared his throat.
“Uh, I don’t know if you remember, but we were in some class. I don’t know which one, I think it was in second or third year,” he shrugged with a slight laugh.
“Oh,” I said, drawing his attention away.
We both looked up, suddenly seeing the peak of the tower come over a building. He made a decision to table my question, instead opting to tug me along as he started running ahead. We bolted forward, avoiding tons of people as we came up on the glittering structure, out of breath from both the run and the laughter at how silly we’d become over a hunk of metal. We walked the rest of the way until we were close enough to really look up at it. I held onto his arm with my free hand, resting my head against his shoulder.
“Wow.”
He let out a heavy breath. “Yeah.”
We stood quietly for a few moments, just to take it all in. The only thing I could really hear was the beat of my own heart and indecipherable conversation being had by the other people nearby. I finally looked back at him, and somehow he was still more gorgeous than everything else I’d seen that night.
He looked at me, a glimmer in his eye as that same old sweet smile showed on his face.
“So, what was the rest of that story?” I asked.
“Ah,” he said with a curt nod. “Well, in that class, someone had asked about portkeys. But before the professor had started to explain it, they called on you to pick anywhere in the world you’d like to go. I guess to demonstrate that a portkey could be enchanted in order to get to that place. You said you’d want to go to Paris and see the Eiffel tower.”
“You remembered that?”
He merely nodded. I tilted my head.
“How did you possibly keep that in mind after all this time?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve… I just remember when it comes to you.”
“That’s crazy,” I laughed. “I don’t understand how you could remember something that happened in a class almost ten years ago. We weren’t even friends then.”
“Well, I,” he began, eyes going starry and somehow prettier than they’d ever been, “I suppose I’ve always loved you.”
I fell completely quiet, about one billion thoughts speeding through my head. Only one rose above the others: I love you. But I still wasn’t saying it. Why wasn’t I saying it? Why wasn’t I saying anything at all?
“Sorry, that was too much to—”
I interrupted what would surely be a lively rambling session from him, and threw myself at him, our lips finally connecting for the first time. As soon as the shock wore off for him, he kissed me back. His lips were soft and careful against mine, his arms wrapping around my middle to pull me in closer, and my hands pressed against his chest. I smiled into the kiss, leaving a few lingering pecks against his lips before we broke apart.
I looked at him, taking in everything that I could about that moment. I sighed.
“You’re so pretty,” I said softly.
That definitely wasn’t what I meant to say.
He laughed. “Yeah?”
“Sorry,” I groaned with a laugh of my own, leaning my forehead against his chest.
He lifted my face with one hand under my chin, pressing one more soft kiss to my lips.
“I love you, is what I meant to say,” I noted.
“I knew this trip was a good idea.”
“So this was the plan from the start, hm?”
He smirked. “Not the plan. Just a hope.”
We went back the hotel room, thought not without my genius idea to grab a cheap bottle of wine first.
It felt more fitting than champagne given that we’d spend the rest of the night staring out of the window and laying lazy kisses on one another.
We found ourselves back at my flat a week later, almost as if nothing had changed. But really, everything had changed. Completely and totally.
We sat on my couch, our tea cold from sitting without any attention on the coffee table in front of us. He talked to me about nothing for hours, and there’s nothing else I’d wanted to be doing than wasting away the day with him. It had quickly become my favorite activity.
“You know,” he started, “inviting me over for tea that day after I’d made quite the reputation for myself was probably a stupid idea.”
“But?” I prodded.
“But,” he said, pressing a kiss to my lips before continuing, “I am utterly thankful you did.”
“Aww. My pretty boy,” I cooed, earning a groan from him.
“You can’t keep calling me that.”
He grabbed my hand as I reached to pinch at his cheeks, kissing my knuckles softly.
“Yes, I can. You secretly love it.”
He blushed. “I love you. There’s a difference.”
I sighed, cuddling into his side. “Does this mean you’re going to take me home and introduce me to your parents as your girlfriend, now?”
“I’m pretty certain I’ll have to.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, I’m going to inherit the manor one day.”
“And?” I questioned, laughing.
He kissed me again, speaking quietly against my lips.
“You won’t be my girlfriend forever,” he said with a smirk. “Gotta make sure you’ll like the place.”
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