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#writers block

Disclaimer: Everyone writes differently and what styles and techniques I use that I think work well, you may think are bullshit. Remember too that this is for people new to writing, or people who want to further their skills in a more casual way that doesn’t require them to google every second word you use x

So I’m sure in your creative writing lessons when you were like, seven years old, you heard that all stories had a beginning, a middle and an end. And, if you were like me, you thought this was just boring bullshit and ignored it until you actually started writing and realised that it was actually kind of important.

I think the main reason I hated the whole beginning, middle and end thing, was because it implied that every story I wrote had to feature a villain and a hero, and that it would have to be an action/adventure story which I didn’t want to write! As you can see from the plot I came up with a few parts ago, I tend to lean towards contemporary/YA, and even though I have written action stories, they aren’t really my favourite to write!

But, as I got more into writing and I tried harder to become a better writer, I realised that it didn’t matter what I was writing, it was going to have a beginning, a middle and an end. 

In this lesson, I’m going to show you what you’re school may have led you to believe was a beginning, middle and end, and I’m also going to show you what you’re actual beginning, middle and end could look like, or, if it’s easier for you to think of it in these terms: Part I, Part II and Part III. I’m also going to show you how I would decide what the beginning, middle and end of Justin and Sophie’s story would look like, which will also help to give it more detail and further develop my plot!

The Beginning:

I was always told in school that this is where you hook your readers with the first sentence, and you introduce the who, what, when, where and why, which I personally hated. When you’re writing, you do need to hook your readers, but you also don’t need to do it in the first SENTENCE for gods sake. I have never opened a book and then instantly shut it because after the first line I wasn’t completely and emotionally invested in this story, so don’t worry about your first sentence. Yes, your first chapter will have to be somewhat interesting enough to keep readers interested, but that also doesn’t mean you have to introduce your entire plot right then and there. Introduce a character or two and definitely give us the setting and timeline, but make sure you keep people wanting more! Pretend you’re throwing us a few random pieces of a jigsaw puzzle each chapter! This way, in the first few chapters you leave your readers wanting more, and pretty quickly it’ll start coming together more clearly and by this point your readers should be hooked!

I’m also proud to say that I came up with a title for the plot example I gave you guys! (See below) It’s title is Gladiolus, which is a flower that represents strength and moral integrity, as Hope and Sophie end up with a florist shop and I think it took a lot of strength from Sophie to leave Justin.

Justin and Sophie have been in love since the 11th grade, marrying not long after graduating (<< Give yourself some backstory to work with). When Justin cheats on Sophie with her best friend, Sophie decides that there’s no way either of them can win her back and chooses to quit her job and move to the small, quaint town on the outskirts of the city she once lived in. There, she rediscovers herself, and explores her sexuality further after meeting Hope, a widowed woman with a love for gardening. As their relationship blossoms, Sophie can’t help but distinguish the difference between how Hope treats her and how Justin treats her, making her learn just how truly toxic the relationship is. Maybe though with this new partner, Sophie can live the life she deserves, running the local florist with her soulmate, Hope.

The beginning of this story should be obvious, but in case it’s not, I’ll tell you. Sophie finding out about the affair, Justin, Sophie and Sophie’s friend being introduced and a bit of backstory from Justin and Sophie’s relationship would be the beginning of this story. It’s important to remember too that your beginning doesn’t have to be shoved into the first chapter and/or prologue, you can take a few chapters if you’d like x

The Middle:

The second grade taught me that the middle is where the ‘rising tension’ takes place and towards the end of the middle the ‘climax’ or ‘final battle’ happens, the hero inevitably wins and everyone loves them. Gladiolus’s middle obviously won’t work this way and your stories middle doesn’t have to either. Another great way to think of it is this: The beginning is your character deciding or being told that they have to go on a journey, the middle is the characters journey, and the end is what the character went on the journey for. This makes it a lot easier for me to decide what Gladiolus’s middle is!

The middle will simply be Sophie’s journey, Hope will be introduced and everything that happens between then and Sophie’s happily ever after is going to be the journey/middle. No ‘rising tension’, no ‘climax’, no sword fights or gun fights or deaths or anything like that, it’s just Sophie rediscovering herself and realising how magical her life with Hope can be.

The End: 

I was taught that the ending was called the ‘resolution’ or ‘conclusion’ and that it took place directly after the ‘climax’ and it was basically where everything was magically fixed and the world went back to normal!

Fun fact: The world that you’ve created does not have to go completely back to normal just mere seconds after the antagonist or the villain has been arrested or defeated or whatever happens in your story. Your characters are allowed to take time to recover, and you’re allowed to write about their recovery. If one of your characters ends up with PTSD, or depression after something significant that has happened, A) do your research and write it properly, and B) if you’ve done a good enough job throughout the story already, believe me, your readers will want to see your character have their happy ending and work past their mental illness.

For Gladiolus, the ending would be Hope and Sophie together, in love, owning the local florist shop, mentally and spiritually happy and healthy, and just loving life. Sophie doesn’t have to forgive Justin and her friend, but she can thank them as she would never have met Hope if they didn’t go behind her back. It’s a happy ending (obviously) but I feel like it’s important to say that your story doesn’t have to have a happy ending! You can make it tragic if you want, and you can end it on a cliffhanger if you want to write a sequel! xx

Summary: Don’t be afraid to get creative and go against the “guidelines”. It’s your story and you can plan the beginning, middle and end how you want!

Get Back to Lesson 1 Here!

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Hey! You! If you call yourself an “aspiring author” stop it! You are not an “aspiring” author. You ARE an author. I don’t care if you’ve written three books, three paragraphs, or even three sentences. If you put effort into these three sentences, and world build, and daydream, and write ideas, and fantasize about having an entire fandom based off of your unfinished book series, you’re still a writer!!! You don’t need to have an entire movie franchise, merchandise line, and an entire hashtag dedicated to fanon ships on tumblr to be an author. If you want to be an author, all you have to do is write three really good sentences, that will eventually lead to all those cool things. You don’t need to have a fandom to be an author. You need to have an idea to be an author.  

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What's the worse for a writer?
Lexi: I don't know...
Helen: ...
Helen: ...
Lexi: What about you?
Helen: Open Wrist on the side that you write.
Lexi: *GASP*
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. . I find myself drowning in my own thoughts, the thought of you buries me. Thinking about your eyes gleaming like glitter, the restless smile you light up the room with. Your luscious lips you kissed me away with, like a thousand needles of epinephrine piercing into my heart, this bittersweet feeling cuts like the blissful pain i soul-search for. The desire to hold your hand, your waist, your neck is an ever lasting feeling my soul begs to seize. The courageous spirit that i fell in love with that made me feel neurotic, i couldn’t keep myself still if i tried being around you & resist to stare into your eyes that left me hypnotized. I feel romantically hopeless for someone who wanted to fill the void of empty desires of lust with a gullible lost boy. I was the vessel to your torment, the mend to your pain & I apologize for being naive to think this would’ve been anything more than what you wanted. I should’ve known you were eager for revenge & searching for a distraction. I walked into a realm of fire not expecting to get burned & left covered with flames. You turn pain into power, you are elegantly addicting, sharp as a razor, braver than lions & have a heart of a Queen. I’ve never witnessed the amount of determination & resilience in someones eyes until my eyes met yours. You drove this rose colored boy into madness & this King onto his knees. I’m running out of ink inside this pen of mine, I wanted to keep this as brief as possible. I still think about you everyday, you’re running the my mind all night & I can write about you all day & all night. I miss you even more than i did the first day being apart from you. Goodnight fighter, goodnight champion, goodnight warrior, goodnight rose. .

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Diary of A Girl Named Mo - a project that will never be finished

Dear Diary,

I am once again finding myself at the mercy of my mental health, among other things. Is it a full relapse? No - not yet, at least. I am doing everything I can to prevent that. And yet…

I can hear her faint voice echoing in my head. She’s always been there.. waiting for the moments where I am at my weakest. She clutches my body, squishing every pinch of fat and calling out my imperfections. My flaws. “Fat.” She would say. “Cow.” Tears would well in her eyes. “Look at what you’ve done to yourself. Look how huge you’ve gotten.” She reaches for my neck, her nails digging into my flesh. “Look at what you’ve become.”

“Mo!” She jumps, startled. “Mo, it’s time for dinner!” Her husband calls from the kitchen. She checked her clock - it was already 7 pm? She sighed, closing her laptop and standing up. “Coming, honey!” She said, trying to sound energetic as she made her way to the kitchen.

Apparently I can still write, so yay.

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It’s been a long time coming.
I’ve rehearsed it 
    well, actually I haven’t.
I imagined you wouldn’t even know me 
    I rehearsed all of the ways that you wouldn’t.

I ran through how many times I could share a space with you, 
    without you ever knowing.
They say the spiritual realms releases you from the constraints of times and emotions,
      like a peaceful way.. 
so I suppose all that rehearsing wasn’t worth it.

I’ve worked on calming my heart enough to hold a steady hand in your favorite restaurant,
    so I could serve you progression while you don’t notice.
Worked my ass off
I wanted to be so known that any TV screen
or billboard would learn to haunt you
      Without you knowing…of course.

Endless moments in the mirror searching for the way your eyes would shift to meet mine.
     Sometimes I even timed it.
Just to see your pupils dilate.
Dad said we kinda looked a like 
and by kinda I mean he made it a point to say almost exactly.
     boy, his eyes would change.
But if he would leave you, he’d leave me.
I mean if you’d leave him, you’d leave me.
I mean you did leave me- I might leave him,
or anyone.
     What’s the difference.
It took me 32 years to figure out what to say to you.
One thing remains,
     still always feels like i’m talking to myself.
Luckily for you I found someone else
who’s on your side
Or lucky for me 
     I can’t tell the fucking difference. 
I’m tired of peaceful and forgiveness
I’m still pissed that I missed this.
Still feels like you’re calling for no reason 
this shit is pointless.
every 11:11 and well wishes I wish, I wish that
I didn’t have to remember that you didn’t.
You gave someone else a chance to do what you couldn’t 
     Selflessly selfish
I guess I get it.

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I came from nothing, father left my family when i was young, I lost family to this gang culture, grew up boosting, selling drugs & living a life i was born into. Witnessing people get killed in front of me from the people i associated with. Getting into fights left & right, getting transferred into alternatives schools & alternative programs. Watching my mother get abused by different men in her life, getting into fist fights with all her ex boyfriends trying to protect her. Getting jumped walking home from school being associated with family & friends who were apart of gangs. Moving out of Los Angeles into the San Gabriel Valley area living in a studio apartment with my mother & siblings, growing up with suburban rich kids, not fitting in with the middle & upper class, being the poor boy hanging out with privileged kids around my neighborhood. Figuring out i had nothing in common with anyone i met here just trying to fit in with a demographic of people who haven’t understood the meaning of hard work, manners or sacrifices. Spoon fed suburban scum leeching off their parents money & living situation. I got fed up with everyone’s mentality & morality. I eventually left my childhood friends to create music, go on tour, play shows with my old band, left everything behind to chase something bigger than myself than to waste my Fridays getting intoxicated playing guitar hero & halo with my so called friends. When they would want to do the same shit, different day routine, I spent my time hustling & locking myself in rehearsal, recording studios. This became all i’ve known since 9th grade. I’ve came along way from the life i left behind. I learned how to play guitar, and made my mom watch me every morning before she would go to work. We always knew back then, just where I’d be right now. We never questioned it, was more like when & how. This is what made me who i’ve become & shaped me to be the man i am today. Where people know me, not just my name. I left home with no kinda back up plan & everyone I knew that I couldn’t stand. always told me, “If you can’t make it here you won’t make it there.” Spent most of my time sleeping on hard wood floors. People’s living rooms, in any open door. I played a show a night ‘til it all made sense to me. I love you mother for everything you sacrificed for me to go on tour, play shows, studying music at one of the biggest music schools, believing in my art when no one else did. For letting me pursue music when I can’t see myself perusing anything else. Thank you for not judging/looking at me any other way than your own son. I love you, I love you Grandpa you are the reason why I’m obsessed with music, i cry at night sometimes when i feel as if i’m not making you proud, living our family name into prosperity, i have some big shoes to fill, a lot to live up to, i get discouraged when you are a wealthy & famous musician from your country. I’m trying to take a piece of your story & make something of my own with what i have in my blood. I’m trying so hard, so fucking hard, i will die trying to pursue music. I remember crying when you told me you were proud of me when i left on my first tour, graduated music school & before i left on the Vans Warped Tour & how scared I was & the advice you told me, your son didn’t raise me & you always been a father to me. I love you, so fucking much. I remember everything you’ve taught me pops. I look up to you & killing myself day in & day out to keep the torch alive. I’m trying to do my thing, things my way, i’m trying to make you proud. Everything i’ve accomplished & continue to achieve is bigger than myself its for all of us to share. There’s a lot more to my story that i want to express through my music from that point into adult hood but I’m not going to get into everything right now. Coming from where i came from the people here will count you out, i’ve endured everything through my trials & tribulations to outlive myself. I’m grateful that I have a manager, video director, studio engineers, producers. A team who believes in my ideas, visions & music. If you would’ve told me this years ago I wouldn’t have believed you. I’m proud of myself, proud of my team & sky is the limit from this day forward. I’m learning to keep my shit private not everyone is happy for me. These next songs i release to the world could get 100 plays total & id still be like “yeah that shit is good <3″ To have thought of quitting my first day frustrated with myself take after take inside the recording studio, day after day, night after night, every second, every minute, every hour i spent manifesting “Double O’ Seven.” If my future isn’t saving lives through my music then there’s no point to this. I could’ve hung up this up years go, I’ve come too far to look back. You can’t be cheap with your own career. You can’t cheat life, you can’t finesse your way into this culture. I needed to grow up & put action behind my dreams, for the people reading. Stop looking for hand outs, there’s “NO” longevity in short cuts, short cuts will only cut your carrier short. People are so eager to be noticed in this industry. Fall back solider & just do the work, if it’s good it will get noticed. I come from a background of speak when spoken to & it’s worked so far. Just keep that work ethic so when the opportunity presents itself you’re ready. Some producers or artists ain’t gon’ work with you, a producer or artist, until they perceive you to be a valuable collaboration. You can’t take that personal & you especially can’t take that personal in the future if they circle back to collaborate. All this shit is chess, always remember that. Don’t sit on your fucking high horse when you have no horse to sit on…work ya ass off & wait ya turn kid.

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You ever just kinda get an urge to write like a 20 part angst/smut bullshit thing with a character but like you dont know how to start it or what characters you should yeet in but the idea is just lingering in your brain.

Because same.

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I’ve started writing another book.

I have pages and pages of planning drafts and settings.

I love the plot, characters and scenes I have planned and have already written.

One small problem…

I wanna read this book not write it! 😭

I am so frustrated with myself its actually funny.

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