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inkskinned · 9 months

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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

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bizarrelittlemew · 25 days

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i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us

#and still be mad at shithead executives for unfairly cancelling my pirate show #also imagine what my ao3 word count will be like. gonna be writing my little fics in the nursing home #sometimes when i get frustrated over my writing i have to remember that i've only been doing it for a little over a year #and not in my native language #there is still so much time and so much to learn and try and discover and explore and i am EXCITED #there is something so ancient and beautiful about humans being brought together by stories #storytelling is what humans have always done and will always do and what will always connect us #to our past to the future to each other #sorry for the 1 am ramblings #fandom #🐭📓

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simowis · 10 months

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Ashes reignite

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Javik (Mass Effect), Shepard (Mass Effect), Victory (Mass Effect) Additional Tags: a What-if World, Promise a good ending for Javik, Update at random Summary:

In this story, Victory is still ’alive‘ And a not-so-average shepard, she's not a paragon or a rebel, she thinks too much! Right, Javik, you think so too, don't you?

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OKAY IT’S CHINESE, SUPRISED? I know not everyone know chinese so I use DEEPL to translate below. So don't expect good grammar and writing, sorry. I’m trying my best to , tune~ the translator's writing style but there are limits.

This what-if story will probably be my solution for a good ending for Javik. But now only one chapter has been written ↓

____________________

It all started here, Shepard murmured. The prothean beacons of Eden never made much of an impression on Shepard, fragmented images, noisy and blurred, pressing into her mind with a deadly dose of hellish fear. Then came Saren, then Sovereign, the beacons screaming in her head that the nightmare was really here, that it was all real. Then came Ilos, and Sherpard felt that her - and the galaxy's - fate was always in the hands of these protheans. Why was it that at every knot they were saved by the legacies and messages they left behind? Shepard shook her head as the snowflake screen on her monitor contained another image of Prothean memories that only she could see. A large mess of noisy and confusing fragments, interspersed with a complete memory. There had been a sanctuary in this land, there had been a prothean commander called Javik, the whole of his confrontation with the invaders... and the sequence of buttons he had used to open that stasis pod. Shepard immediately tore her gaze from the display, she didn't want to plunge back into it, these memories always brought her back to prothean's people, the dead civilizations, not those living ones that now desperately needed saving. Shepard immediately turned back, ignoring her companions who were still staring at the snowflake screen in confusion, and in three or two steps took out the enemy that appeared near the pod, opened the pod panel and entered the opening code.

The pod didn't open as memorized, instead, a faint ball of light emerged from the top of the pod. It looked like a VI, it looked like the VI on that fucking Ilos! Although it was even fainter than the ball of light over there, only vaguely visible in shape. The ball of light floated up and stood still, "Human, close your eyes." It seemed to speak in prothean, and Shepard merely understood it, her eyes widening defiantly.

A beam of green light was directed at her eyes and Shepard closed them in a rush as both eyes went black. "Don't resist." The prothean's warning, accompanied by this increasingly loud buzzing sound surrounded her ears, and something felt like it was tugging on a phantom angle at the back of her head, lifting it upwards, and she felt her soul separate from her body.

But then again no, she was still in her own body, which remained in its position at the side of the pod. shepard opened her eyes, surrounded by darkness and only a faint purple glow in the distance. A transparent Prothean was taking shape where the ball of light had been, it was the prothean VI, maybe the one from the memories.

"Human, primary scans indicate that unlike previous intruders, you are unindoctrinated. Further detection initiated, maintain current position and do not move."

The VI spoke prothean, it had its hands behind its back, and its four eyes were fixed on Shepard. In contrast, shepard prepares to shoot immediately. She tried to raise her hand that was gripping the gun, but the movement became very slow, too slow, like a snail crawling. It also took constant willpower to force herself to move, and she even found herself unable to turn her head. Instead, the scan had begun,, only to see a thin green line that seemed like the end of endless space touch her skin and slowly travel down her body from left to right. shepard hated this state of being unable to resist, and what made it even harder for her was the reality that these Cerberus were really being indoctrinated.

Has Cerberus really become a den of traitors? They were clearly a human primacy group to become traitors to humanity? If this VI's indoctrination detection technology can't be trusted ......

But the one on Ilos did detect Saren being indoctrinated, so the prothean would use such technology to screen their people...it was a technology developed by a previous generation of civilisations to fight the Reaping, and by common sense was more credible. So Cerberus really ...... Shepard plucked herself out of her sinking consciousness as something occurred to her.

The detection of indoctrination did not necessitate the VI's presence in order to be carried out, so this VI should not have been in the presence of those in Cerberus.

"Correct." VI replied, "And you used the correct action and code to attempt to open the stasis bin, human. I rule that you have a low probability of being indoctrinated." !!! FUCK!!!This damn prothean VI can READ MINDS!

"A deep mental link is not normally possible for races that are not orthodox prothean, but I assume you can see the memory image to get the code to open it." VI glared at her, "The scan shows that part of your consciousness belongs to a prothean."

Okay, okay, Cipher again, looks like she'll have to deal with any antiquities related to prothean from now on. Shepard stared back at the VI, gripping the gun in her hand. "So tell me how many of the people in the stasis bins in this sanctuary are still alive?" VI immediately responded, "You do not have access to that information, human."

Well then, surely this wasn't a stupid Godburger VI with a question to answer, maybe the prothean's VI was all scanned by personality fragments, which wouldn't be able to trick it into divulging information by using logical paradoxes. Shepard had a bit of regret, but at least one question VI was explainable, she asked sternly, "Then why did you show yourself in front of me?

A clear voice came from all directions, "No sign of blood mutation due to indoctrination." A greenish-blue light lit up around them, perhaps a sign of safety. vi looked more alive as he looked solemnly at Shepard. " Answer, the correct way to open it, means not wanting to harm my comrades inside. That's why I showed up."

"So Cerberus tried to hurt someone inside?!" Shepard couldn't believe it, even if Cerberus did turn out to be a traitor, it didn't make sense from their usual research point of view, there was no way they wouldn't have known that there was a prothean hiding in there... she'd already seen the scanners in the base.

"130K standard milliseconds ago they attempted to force open this stasis bin using blasting, causing damage to the energy sustainment module, this chamber is losing life support and forcing it open will immediately kill the comrade in its frozen state," the VI paused, "so I locked the the stasis bin, changed the unlock code, and set this chamber to self-destruct in the standard 58.2K milliseconds left from now." Huh? Blow up? Crazy? Why?

VI closed his eyes, "The pod's comrade do not want his body to fall into the hands of the indoctrinated. But if the chamber is successfully opened, the self-destruct command will also be removed."

VI closed his eyes, "The pod's comrade do not want his body to fall into the hands of the indoctrinated. However, if the pod is successfully opened with the correct code, the self-destruct command will also be removed."

Shepard tried to lift her eyebrows, but the movement remained incredibly slow, "Can't you give the order to remove it yourself?" The buzzing in her ears never stopped."The control circuits were damaged by the blast after that, the most logical solution would be to remove them manually." The VI replied.

"So, now that I'm here," she imagined herself rolling her eyes,giving up on the idea of raising her gun and firing. "I'm not indoctrinated, and I'm willing to open this stasis chamber to release your compatriots. So how about telling me the code and freeing me from this damned whatever mental link? Deal?" VI nodded. "Prepare for memory transmission , close your eyes." Again?! Can't you prothean just show me in a different way, like, simply say the words?

VI didn't answer and the environment began to darken. It didn't seem to work, and Shepard closed his eyes in reluctance. This time there was no light to blind her eyes, only the weightlessness of being picked up and thrown out. It was as if she were crossing the galaxy naked, and for a moment she realised that it was the same feeling she had felt the first time she had touched the beacon here. Her head was aching, light and strange visions were flying around her, planets were flying past, the buttons in the panel made sense,She read every prothean word on it - but something began to burn her temples and she winced as the meaning of the words all but disappeared, yet the input sequence seemed etched into the depths of her consciousness, The buzzing is getting louder and louder, fragmented images flashing wildly before her eyes, the voice of the VI in the distance "Signal reception unstable, retransmission in progress ......" That's enough! I can unlock it! Shepard shouted silently, but her opponent didn't seem to understand, and the images grew more and more complex as she fell into the centre of the black hole, something's screaming all the time,the planetary point of light stretched into a straight line, the illusionary black edge caressing her as if it were a gasp in eternity ...... Suddenly, the white, translucent blackness disappeared.

—————— She fell heavily to her knees on top of the stasis bin, knocking her face into the bulkhead. It hurt! She shook her fingers and reacted flexibly, the gun in her hand.Shepard rolled her eyelids upwards, neither the ball of light nor the VI visible.

In the distance Liara and Vega came running over. "Shepard! Is everything alright!" Liara rushed to help her up and Vega came to heel. "You were running too fast, all I saw from a distance was a ball of light shining a powerful light into your eyes and then you suddenly fell down." Shepard shook her head to look at Vega, "How long did that ball of light shine on me?" "......emmmm, at most ...... five seconds?" "...... Well thanks, I think I'm okay." Shepard straightened up and exhaled deeply. "Just another traditional prothean imbuing. You know, Liara, every time... never a pleasant experience, but I just got the unlock code from it." She worked the dashboard again nimbly.

There was a deflating sound, the pod door opened and a white mist emerged from within. Soon the frozen stiff fossil from 50,000 years ago returned to aerobic breathing and with a jerk he leapt to his feet and, after dispersing the crowd with his biotic powers, he looked out over the ground to the mountains and forests staring dumbfounded.Everyone's attention was focused on his interaction with Shepard, who eventually found a living prothean and invited him aboard the shuttle. sherpard observed the new guest and tapped into a personal call channel with EDI, asking her to assign someone to retrieve the stasis bin as soon as possible. In this way, a small change, an unexpired VI, a what-if world, opened up.

#mass effect #mass effect fanfiction #mass effect fanart #prothean #shepard #female shepard #javik #sorry no javik this chapter #writing is frustrating #but i have to

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mygeekcorner · 6 months

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You know those "write badly!" posts that sometimes makes the rounds to encourage all you lovely writers that it's okay that not everything is a masterpiece?

Yeah, those.

I just want all you authors out there not feeling good enough to know that i just decided to reread one of the worst fics I've ever read. Because it's one of the best fics I've ever read.

The plot is simplistic at best. The language is horrible. The pacing is nowhere to be found behind all the "and then!!!" the author peppers their writing like a carbonara with.

But

The characters. The insights into their motivations is fucking master thesis level. I cry just thinking about the way the author predicted where canon was headed years ago. And the way they Preemptively fixed all the ooc-ness the mangaka is now struggling to wrap up.

It's been living in my head rent-free for years and i wouldn't want it any other way. Just with slightly less "and then!!"

So yes, write badly.

In three years time some sucker will come back for seconds because they loved it for all the things you Did manage to do right.

#writing #writeblr #fanfiction #it frustrates me that this is literally the worst written fic I've ever finished #but it's also in my top 3 for that ship #just goes to show greatness doesn't have to be good

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ikeepwatchinghelicopters · 2 years

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Me, when I had lots of important work for uni: tons of ideas, writing fanfic like mad

Me, now, when I have nothing pressing to do and I could literally be writing the whole day: no motivation, words hard, brain.exe not working

#random personal shit #writing is frustrating #writing is suffering

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justheblueberry · 2 months

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the artist

#obligatory writing on the wall mention #have you listened to writing on the wall yet today go listen to writing on the wall #but anyway this is about injury and having to relearn how to draw with the other hand #which is the only reason why id draw right handed kaveh because all right handed kaveh is ambidexterous kaveh w carpal tunnel actually #really subtle projecting happening #along with the usual artist frustration nothing being good enough etc etc #god i love kaveh #genshin #genshin impact #kaveh #genshin impact fanart #ort #原神 #原神イラスト #カーヴェ #right handed drawings

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earwig5 · 7 days

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it’s kind of crazy that both fallout new Vegas and fallout 4 have the same driving force for the first half of the narrative (find the guy who wronged you and make him pay) but Benny is so much more memorable and narratively interesting than Kellogg.

It’s a matter of a strong character foil versus a weak one, in my opinion.

Benny and the courier are very much alike. They are both ambitious people who are willing to do anything possible to stack the odds in their favour. Honestly, Benny and the courier are the same card, reversed.

The Sole Survivor and Kellogg are also intended to be character foils. The game tries to convince us of this with the scenes in Kellogg’s mind, where we see that he ‘isn’t so different’ from our protagonist after all. But we don’t know anything about Kellogg other than his backstory. How can he parallel the protagonist if we don’t know which traits he has? Which traits the two of them share?

(As a side note, I wish Fallout 4 had touched way more on the ‘Man/Woman Out of Time’ thing. The protagonist being frozen in the past + Kellogg being functionally immortal would’ve been really cool to explore! Especially in the context of grief!)

In the end, I think the reason Benny is a more powerful character foil is that he doesn’t disappear from the world when you kill him. The chairmen can mourn him, House will comment on it, and even NPCs across the Mojave will talk about Benny’s death!

In Kellogg’s case, the protagonist is basically the only person who knows he even existed! Once he’s dead HE’s DEAD! He disappears completely from the narrative! As soon as you leave fort Hagen, the game doesn’t bother looking back.

that’s why Benny is a more haunting force for new Vegas; particularly an independent courier. You are Benny’s legacy because you are what he leaves behind whether he likes it or not. People remember him as the couriers victim. Meanwhile, nobody remembers Kellogg at all. The memory of who Kellogg was dies with you, and you can choose to forget him.

#i hope this makes sense #my ‘what if fo4 had interesting writing’ moment #what I would’ve wanted to see is more Kellogg&sole survivor parallels #+Kellogg to be relevant in act 2 or 3 #+ MAYBE JUST MAYBE. we get the chance to spare him #it just frustrates me that fo4 has a lot of wasted potential #fo4 #fallout 4 #fallout #fnv #fallout new vegas #benny fnv #conrad kellogg #kellogg fo4

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