@fuckboyregulus just had a rly funny moment while re-reading wyidias bc i had nothing else to do and it was something i completely missed the first time and i was confused (MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD?) i was reading the part where he told sirius he was pregnant and he said “im gonna be an uncle?” and reg said “thats ur reaction?” THE FIRST TIME I READ THIS I REAS THATS YOUR ERECTION AND U NEVER PAUSED TO QUESTION IT I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS AN IMPLIED JOKE 😭
i need more wyidias you have no idea what type of hold you have over me rn
He gives her a tight lipped smile before turning back to watch James grind against Benjy in a way that makes Regulus want to start throwing Unforgivables.
“You guys don’t… You don’t get it,” James shakes his head. His eyes are dry for the first time in what feels like years. It’s funny. It’s funny because at this moment he feels the worst he’s felt this entire time—like he is actually cracking down the middle, as if there is so much pressure built up inside him that if he doesn’t physically break into two pieces he will shatter and collapse into dust. There’s no way to describe this kind of pain—there’s no end in sight, just a circle of dread and despair and absolute hopelessness.
He's never felt anything like it before, and he wonders if he’ll ever be able to feel anything different ever again.
“He’s never going to know them,” he says, his voice cracking dangerously. He turns to Regulus, raising his shoulders as he shakes his head again, “He’s never going to know our kid, Reg. And how is that fair? How am I supposed to do this without him?”
recent comment on wyidias has me 🤨 “the baby better not fucking die” uh… okay? do we no longer care about reg? no fucks that his arm and ribs are shattered and that he’s falling from 100 meters but let’s care about the fetus. 🙄
“James… I think maybe you’re not thinking clearly,” Regulus says breathlessly as he pulls away.
James stares at him blankly. It’s like he’s not even there—like he’s just an empty shell staring back at Regulus. Regulus doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to help. Sure he’s had relatives die before, but he’s never been upset about them.
“Please, Reg. I just… I just want to feel something again. I just need… I need to feel something. Anything. Because right now I feel nothing,” James says.
“You won’t move past it. You won’t stop hurting. No one ever truly does. The pain of losing someone never really stops, it just changes. It becomes more of a dull throb in the back of your mind, it becomes easier to ignore. It takes time, just like everything in life. But one day you’ll wake up and find that you haven’t thought of me in a week, and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten me or don’t love me. It just means that you’re living.”
this made me put down my phone and bawl like a baby. i lost my dad and at first i didn’t know how i was ever gonna cope, but the pain kind of just becomes a part of everything and i’m not angry with it anymore. i didn’t know if i was gonna be able to read this chapter, and it was really fucking hard but i’m so glad i did, this was probably the best description of grief i’ve heard in a long long time. monty talking to james honestly felt like my dad talking to me, and finishing that chapter seeing james surrounded by so much love felt really healing. thank you for this chapter and the way you went about it, it was perfect.
i swear I’m not crying right now. i don’t even know what to say. thank you so much 💖