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haught-n-cold-gay · 4 years

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“it’d be easier if i hated you”

a wynonna earp fic you can read here on a03

summary:

“Thought I’d visit my favorite sexy ex-enemy.” Rosita smiled as they pulled apart until she saw Wynonna’s face up close. Her eyebrows furrowed before she reached out and gently touched her cheek. “Are you sleeping? Eating?” “Who are you, my mom?” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a brat, Earp.” Wynonna gasped playfully. “Me? Never.” _._._

Wynonna can't help but visit Rosita in the nunnery. She doesn't know why she keeps seeing her or talking to her or why she wants to kiss her, but she's willing to figure it out.

part i

“Thanks for saving my ass.”

Wynonna let out a soft, almost embarrassed, chuckle. “It’d be a shame not to.”

A smile flashed across Rosita’s annoyingly perfect face and for a moment, Wynonna swore that Rosita was looking at her, like really looking at her, and she felt the urge to reiterate her promise that she was going to get her out of there, no matter what. Even if she was going to be stuck surrounded by horny nuns.

“Wynonna…” Rosita closed the space between them, forcing time to freeze as their eyes locked. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

She felt the warmth radiate off of the gorgeous woman and nodded stiffly, not wanting to admit to her that she hadn’t been ‘okay’ in a long time. Maybe ever. She didn’t even know the feeling. Not really.

“I’ve got my trusty gun again, so…”

Rosita raised her eyebrows. “You’re more than your gun, Wynonna. You always have been.”

Wynonna broke the eye-contact. She had to. She had told herself for so long that being the Heir made her something. Made her worthy. Made her a hero. Losing her gun made her feel like she was nothing. And here Rosita was telling her that she was more than the gun.

“Hey.” Rosita grabbed her hand and pulled her even closer (God, Wynonna couldn’t ignore how good she smelled) and whispered, “I’m here if you need me. Literally. I can’t leave. Come by anytime.”

Wynonna swallowed the lump in her throat and looked down at her hand that was being held by Rosita’s. She didn’t want to cry, not in front of her.

“I’ve got to go,” she breathed out, unable to even glance at her as she pulled her hand away. “Keep that fine ass of yours safe for me, alright?”

Rosita snorted and muttered under her breath, “this ass is yours if you want it.”

Wynonna pretended she didn’t hear that. She just ran toward the celestial green light, never looking back. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She didn’t know what she would do if she did.

part ii

One week later.

Wynonna didn’t know why she was back so soon. She didn’t have a solution for Rosita (she barely had the chance to tell the team about Rosita and the situation the ex-Revenant was in), but here she was. Dark circles under her eyes and demons screaming inside of her, she walked into the nunnery she spent the last few days trying to find through her sister’s copious notes about the buildings on the edge of Purgatory since there wasn’t a mystical green light to transport her there.

At first, Wynonna thought that Rosita was missing amidst the group of nuns, but then she heard her laugh. Wynonna did a double-take. Rosita was in the center of the cluster of nuns, wearing the tunic or robe or whatever the hell nuns wear.

The Heir gulped. She was severely startled by how Rosita in the nun outfit was doing things to her (then again, Rosita could probably wear anything and it’d do things to her). Her mouth felt a little dry and she tried to take a deep breath and remind herself of the real reason why she was here. The only problem was: she didn’t know why the fuck she was here.

“Wynonna? You’re here!” Rosita shouted and pushed past a bunch of annoyed looking nuns. She was running at her and Wynonna’s heart just pounded faster and faster until Rosita’s arms were wrapped around her and Wynonna could breathe her in. And truth was, Wynonna couldn’t remember the last time she was hugged and felt warm.

“Thought I’d visit my favorite sexy ex-enemy.”

Rosita smiled as they pulled apart until she saw Wynonna’s face up close. Her eyebrows furrowed before she reached out and gently touched her cheek.

“Are you sleeping? Eating?”

“Who are you, my mom?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a brat, Earp.”

Wynonna gasped playfully. “Me? Never.”

Rosita punched her shoulder lightly, as if she realized that Wynonna was not willing to talk about whatever was going on with her. “Okay, Ms. Sarcasm.”

“Besides, you’re one to talk. You look like a nun.”

“Well, I do live in a nunnery. And it’s not like there are clothes for me to wear. Want to head to my room?”

Wynonna’s eyes widened, completely out of surprise. “Your room? Are you a dessert before dinner kinda gal?”

“Totally, but I was just thinking of a place we could talk where we won’t be heard.” She nodded toward the group of huddled nuns who were watching them like freaky hawks. Wynonna shivered. Nuns had always freaked her out, but this was even scarier.

“Right, show me the way, m’lady.” Wynonna mentally hit herself for acting so dorky. She’d never consider herself a Shakespeare, but she normally wasn’t an idiotic geek. She coughed and tried to shake away any weird feelings.

(And she tried really hard to not look at Rosita’s ass in the nun outfit as she followed her to the weapon room they killed that fucking demon nun.) (She failed.)

“So… you have your own room? Kinda thought you’d be all in one room, orgy parties every night.”

Rosita closed the door to her ‘bedroom’ and laughed. “We don’t have orgy parties every night. They like being all together and I… need my space, you know?”

The room was still filled with weapons, but in the middle of the room there was a small mattress, a few blankets, and a pillow. It was a nicer situation than Wynonna’s.

“I definitely do know. It’s why I’m living in a damn barn.”

Rosita flopped onto the mattress, grinning as she tried to land in a ‘sexy’ position. “So I’ve got better digs?”

Wynonna couldn’t help but laugh at whatever the fuck Rosita was doing. “Considering you live in a nunnery, I’m not so sure. Living with an engaged couple and teenager versus judgy nuns. Now that’s a conundrum.”

Rosita raised her eyebrows. “Engaged, huh? Waverly and Nicole are tying the knot?”

Wynonna was trying to read her tone. “Hard feelings?”

She cringed and crinkled her nose. “Waverly told you?”

“About your drunken kiss of shame? Yeppers.” She grinned at her, noticing the embarrassment flooding her face. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Seriously. She and Haught totally made up and all that good shit. Obvs, they’re getting hitched. Besides, kissing someone you’re not supposed to is kinda my thang. So no judgment coming from me.”

“And you and Doc?”

That was the absolute last thing she wanted to talk about. Not because Rosita and Doc were a thing, but because Doc had left her. He was ‘disappointed’ in her. As if she needed more fucking shame in her goddamn life.

“I’m not good enough for him,” she finally confessed, in more of a whisper than she had intended it to be. “Even with Alice, I’m not enough.”

Rosita opened her mouth but then closed it. She moved over to one side of the mattress and patted the empty side. “C’mere.”

“What?” She let out a nervous chuckle and crossed her arms.

Rosita narrowed her eyes at her. “I’m not going to rip your clothes off, Wynonna, unless you want me to. C’mon. Lay with me.”

Wynonna gaped at her slightly, a little bewildered by what was happening. She thought about turning around and leaving, but it had been a long time since someone wanted to be near her. Wanted to comfort her. Okay, maybe that wasn’t true. Waverly was always there to do those things. But this was different and Wynonna couldn’t tell why.

Ignoring all the warning bells going off in her head, she slowly made her way toward the mattress and sat down on it. It was awkward as fuck. Too awkward. Rosita placed a hand on Wynonna’s back and she flinched away from her touch like the ex-Revenant’s fingers were scorching. She stood up suddenly, feeling the urge to throw up.

“Wynonna… I’m sorry…”

“No, I’m sorry.” She started to walk backward, back toward the door. “I… have to go. I just remembered, I need to be somewhere.”

“I—okay. I can walk you out—”

“I’m good,” Wynonna shouted and escaped as fast as possible, practically running out of the room and out to the exit. The felt stupid running, but she couldn’t imagine being inside of there for another second.

part iii

Three weeks later.

She was fucking back. With bags in her hand. And whiskey. Fuck.

She had come to the entrance of the nunnery more than nine times in the last three weeks, but she just couldn’t walk inside. She wanted to, she wanted to apologize for being a fucking weirdo, but she couldn’t get her feet to move.

(For a week she had even convinced herself she couldn’t step inside because she was so unholy, so full of sin.)

It was late and she had already been standing outside for a ridiculous amount of time. She was turning into an icicle, but she still couldn’t get her feet working. It was fucked up, she knew. She didn’t even know why she kept coming back, why she even went to see Rosita three weeks ago, why she had reacted so terribly to her touch. Nobody seemed to want to touch her anymore. Not Waverly (who was spending all her time with Nicole), not Jeremy (who was obsessed with planning the Wayhaught wedding), not Rachel (who had been looking at her strangely ever since she found out she killed Holt), and definitely Doc (who avoided her like the plague). And yet when Rosita wanted to touch her…

“Fuck it.”

Wynonna opened the large door to find Rosita sitting there in the last pew, right in front of her.

“I was wondering if you were ever going to enter.”

Shit. “You saw me out there?”

Rosita tilted her head, her ponytail swinging along with it. “I saw you come and go for the last three weeks. It’s like when someone texts you and you see little dots come and go. I thought you were going to leave me on read.”

Wynonna snorted as if it was crazy (it wasn’t). “Definitely wasn’t going to ghost you.”

Rosita hummed. “Sure. What’s in the bags?”

The Heir furrowed her eyebrows. “You’re not going to ask why I didn’t come inside for three weeks?”

She smirked at her. “Do you want me to ask you why you didn’t come inside for three weeks?”

“Fuck no.” Wynonna sniffled and held up the bags for her. “Clothes for you. Y’know. So you don’t have to keep wearing the nun uniform.”

“You don’t think it’s sexy?” Rosita stood up and did a little twirl for her in the aisle.

Wynonna’s eyes were glued to Rosita’s body and she felt heat pool around her body. “You know I find you frustratingly sexy. So if you don’t want the clothes…”

Rosita grabbed the bags from Wynonna’s hands. “This thing is fucking itchy.”

Catching Wynonna off-guard, the woman started ripping the robe off until she was only in her bra and underwear. Wynonna didn’t even have the chance to turn around (not that she wanted to) and blushed furiously when Rosita asked her: “like what you see?” Somehow, it got worse when Rosita put on the clothes.

“Are these your clothes?” Rosita inspected the ripped black jeans and cropped Blondie t-shirt. “They smell like you.”

Wynonna was a little breathless as she looked at Rosita wearing her clothes. She thought it was a good idea at the time, but this was driving her crazy seeing her like this. She couldn’t stop looking her up and down, imagining her own hands all over her and—

She cleared her throat. “Well, I wasn’t going to spend money.”

Rosita snorted. “I appreciate it.”

Wynonna shrugged like it was no big (it was a huge deal). “I brought whiskey.”

“You know how to please a girl. Do you mind if we head to the bedroom? The others aren’t really thrilled at the idea of drinking. For being wild in the sack they’re pretty lame about everything else.”

The thought of going back into that room sent chills down Wynonna’s spine, but she didn’t say anything. She wanted to get over herself. Get over whatever the fuck that happened in that room that sent her over the edge.

Rosita seemed to notice her nerves since she left the door open when they got in the weaponry room and sat down on the floor, not on the unkempt bed in the middle of the floor. It helped Wynonna breathe easier.

Once she sat down a good five feet away from her ex-enemy, the Heir pulled the whiskey out of her pocket and took a swig. It didn’t calm her down as much as she thought it would, but it was a good start. She passed it off to Rosita who took a good sip.

“Tell me everything that happened after I left,” Rosita commanded suddenly and passed the bottle back to her.

“You mean after you tried to kidnap my baby?” Wynonna was still bitter, even if she did forgive her.

Rosita chewed her lip guiltily. “Yeah, after that.”

That was a bad time. Not all of it, but most of it. She didn’t know what Rosita wanted to hear. It wasn’t like she could tell her how hard it was to send Alice away and how darkness started to become her comfort zone. How she could barely get out of bed. How it only got worse when Dolls died and she realized she probably loved him (and that he probably loved her more than anyone else ever would or could).

So instead, she stuck to things that were easy to talk about.

“Waverly and Nicole got closer, obviously. Jeremy fell in love with this guy who is gone now, for reasons that Jeremy won’t get into. I ended the Earp curse and got stuck in a garden, losing a year and a half of my life.” Wynonna drank.

Rosita frowned. “Dolls?”

“Dead.”

She lowered her head and shook it. “I’m so sorry, Wynonna. I know how much you two cared about each other.”

“Yeah, well. That’s what happens when you care about me.”

“Stop,” Rosita told her intensely. “We both know BBD killed Dolls.”

Wynonna shrugged (knowing that Rosita was right but didn’t want to admit it—she liked to wallow in self-pity from time to time). “I feel like I’m a walking catastrophe. It’s why I had to send Alice away. Being around me—”

“You mean being around your life? You got fucked with the whole ‘heir’ thing. Your life is dangerous because of your curse and the town you live in. It’s not you.”

Wynonna felt the tears bubble up. “But what if it is me?”

Rosita sighed. “But what if it isn’t? C’mon. Tell me about the good things. The funny things. The things that keep you going. I’m barely living here, so I need to live through something. C’mon. Tell me one good thing.”

Wynonna knew Rosita was trying to guilt-trip her into telling her something that would make her feel better, but she told her the first thing that came to her mind anyway. “Haught… she’s my best friend, apparently. My first best friend. She’s my best friend even though I told a huge gnome man to marry her instead of me.”

“You didn’t want to marry a gnome? That’s shocking. Please, tell me more. How did this gnome find you? Was he at least cute?”

A freaking smile emerged from Wynonna’s lips. She hadn’t really smiled in the last couple of weeks. It felt weird, but good. She didn’t know if she deserved to feel good, but around Rosita, she felt like she lost control.

So, when Rosita begged her to continue, she did. And after that, Rosita told her something funny about her time on the rocks. And after that, they just swapped stories until Wynonna’s eyes drooped and the ex-Revenant advised her to go home.

And that’s just what Wynonna did. But as she went home, the only thing she could think about was how she just wanted to stay.

part iv

Three days later.

When Wynonna opened the doors, she didn’t hesitate this time. Three nights ago was the best night she had in weeks. Maybe even months. Even if that meant being around Rosita brought up emotions she had been trying to push down.

She had another bag with her today. Food. And when she entered, the nuns darted toward her. Wynonna quickly realized that bringing food was probably not a smart thing to do. She had to zigzag through the group of nuns and headed for Rosita’s bedroom. She knocked on the door and hoped, definitely didn’t pray, that she wouldn’t be walking in on a sex fest.

Wynonna didn’t know if she was glad or not that Rosita was all clothed when she opened the door. Rosita was wearing one of her baggy t-shirts she gave her, with a Velvet Revolver album on the front.

“You’re back and no three week wait? What did I do to deserve this?”

Wynonna held up the bag of food. “I’m not sure, I almost just got mauled by a bunch of fucking nuns.”

Rosita moved aside so that the other woman could enter her room. “They are ruthless. You brought me food? Is this a date, Wynonna Earp?”

Wynonna blushed at Rosita’s smirk (she didn’t know why she was suddenly starting to get flushed when she never had before). “I don’t go on dates.”

“You brought me food looking like that. It’s a date.”

Wynonna looked down at her outfit, confused. She was wearing her normal half see-through shirt and leather pants. She would have worn this even if she wasn’t going to see Rosita. Probably. Okay, maybe she put on the shirt just before she left, but…

“You’re acting like you don’t know that you’re totally hot. Okay, fine, be humble, Wynonna Earp. But owning up to your sexiness is definitely more attractive.”

Her heart raced, but she tried to reign herself in. “Eat the food I bought you, idiot.”

“Happily, Wynonna,” Rosita said and grabbed the bag out of her hand. She started to rummage through the bags until she looked up at the Heir and smiled. “Breakfast, huh? You really know the way to a girl’s heart.”

“I got pancakes and waffles. Didn’t know which one you’d like, so I just—”

“If you don’t have a preference, we can just share them.” Rosita sat down onto the ground and started to pull the boxes out of the bag like they were going to have a picnic. “Are you going to eat with me or are you just going to stand there and watch?”

Wynonna chewed her cheek. She came here with food, so she didn’t know why she was so surprised that Rosita was wanting to eat with her. She came here wanting to spend time with her, knowing it was easier to spend time with her than it was to spend time with anyone else, but she wasn’t quite expecting for Rosita to welcome her with open arms. She was spinning with absolute confusion.

“Earp, sit your ass down.”

She swallowed it. All her fucking fear. And sat down.

“Are you going to leave any syrup for me?” Wynonna asked her, trying to be playful because it was easier than being anything else with Rosita.

“I am no syrup hog,” Rosita stated and passed her the tub of syrup and watched carefully as Wynonna poured it all over her pancake and waffle. “But I have a suspicion that you are.”

Wynonna gasped dramatically. “No, I’m not! I use the right amount of syrup.”

“I can literally hear your waffle and pancake screaming because they’re drowning right now.”

“Oh, please. This is the normal amount of syrup need—holy motherfucking shit, dude! You put butter on your pancakes?”

Rosita raised an eyebrow. “Um, doesn’t everyone?”

“No! Everyone does not! Butter tastes like nothing with syrup on it.”

“Yeah, it probably doesn’t taste like anything when you drown your pancakes in syrup! I’m sure butter would taste like nothing for you.”

Wynonna shook her head, completely astonished. “You are a monster, Rosita Bustillos.”

“Correction, Wynonna Earp, I used to be a monster. Now I’m just a lame old mortal human who can’t step outside of church without completely disappearing and heading to Hell for the entire rest of my existence.”

Wynonna gaped at her slightly. She had tried so hard to keep things light and fun. She should have known that too much had happened to each other for things to not get heavy. They were two very cursed women with very cursed lives. Destined to be enemies, but here they were, sharing pancakes and waffles.

“Even without the curse, you think you’re going to hell?”

Rosita looked down at her food and shrugged. “Might be living in a nunnery, Earp, but there’s nothing about me that’s saint-like.”

“Eh, saintliness is overrated.”

She looked up and stared into Wynonna’s eyes. “There should be a different place for people like us. Good people who have done shitty things to survive. Or in your case, to keep your loved ones alive.”

Suddenly, the food felt like sludge in her stomach. “We already live in Purgatory, Rosita.”

“I know,” she muttered and shook her head. “I’m just saying.”

Wynonna nodded. “I know.”

Rosita bit her lip. “You don’t belong in hell, Wynonna.”

“Neither do you.”

Rosita raised her eyebrows as if she was surprised that Wynonna would ever say such a thing. “Well, then, fuck it. Let’s become some goddamn ghosts and haunt this place. Scare nuns for the rest of our existence.”

A snort fell out of Wynonna’s lips. “You would spend the rest of your existence with me? You don’t even know if I snore.”

“You are so much better than all the Revenants I’ve had to spend eternities with. Besides, the kind of shit we’d get into? It’d be fun. And besides, you’re not terrible being around. We could make it work, don’t you think?”

Wynonna couldn’t stop gaping at her. Rosita was smiling slightly, like this imaginary future of the two of them made her actually excited and warm (in the same way that the Heir was impossibly feeling). And in that moment, Wynonna remembered. Remembered that Rosita was beautiful. Not just sexy and hot desireable, but beautiful. She had noticed when she met Rosita for the first time at the bar. Rosita wasn’t just this amazingly sexy and smart person, she was kind and bright and filled Wynonna up with feelings she hadn’t recognized. For a long time, she thought it was jealousy. But now…

She pushed it down. In the long run, it didn’t matter if Wynonna loved Rosita’s smile and her laugh and the way she could make Wynonna do both of those things with only a few words or look. Because this, whatever the fuck this was, she was sure that Rosita didn’t look at her the same way. Rosita couldn’t. She knew this better than she knew anything. No one ever looked at her that way. Except maybe Dolls (but that didn’t end well for anyone).

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, maybe. I’d have to return to the homestead in my ghost form to check out my sister’s kids and grandkids. Make sure they don’t have sticks up their asses.”

Rosita snickered. “Waverly and Nicole might be the most overprotective parents in the world.”

“Those poor kids.”

“Lucky, though.”

“The luckiest.”

As if Rosita somehow knew Wynonna’s mind was now on Alice, she said, “I never thought I wanted kids. I mean, it was a typical thing for women to do but I… I didn’t want them. Until I couldn’t have them.”

Wynonna’s heart broke. “When you became a Revenant.”

“Yep. All because of fucking Wyatt Earp. No offense.”

She shook her head. “I know he’s a dick, don’t worry about it.”

Rosita smiled softly. “I’m going to change the subject right now. Tell me. What shows have I missed standing on a rock and living in a nunnery?”

The Heir was incredibly happy for the change in subject. “Apparently there’s this new show everyone’s been talking about, Fleabag. Still haven’t seen it yet. Still catching up on Lucifer.”

“Now that’s one cast I would like to smash,” Rosita joked through mouthfuls of waffle. “But only as their characters.”

“You’re talking about Maze, aren’t you?”

“Hell yeah,” Rosita said and winked. “But also Amenadiel. Angels do it for me, I don’t know why. Okay, why is your face like that?”

Wynonna was cringing hard. “I may or may not have banged an angel.”

Rosita dropped her fork. “An angel? A literal feather-covered wings angel?”

“To be fair, I didn’t know he was an angel at the time. I just thought he was a normal firefighter!”

“No one is ‘normal’ in Purgatory, Wy.”

Wynonna groaned. “I know. I haven’t even told you the worst part.”

Rosita smirked devilishly. “Ooh, good. Tell me.”

“Well…” Wynonna hated that she put herself in this position, though she was almost fairly certain Rosita would be the last person to judge her. “Once again, I had no idea, but he was… Waverly’s dad.”

Rosita’s eyebrows jumped. “So… he…”

“Screwed my mother, yes. But while we were together he, like, had no memory of it. So like, he wasn’t being creepy or anything. He legit had no idea at the time. But yep, he was Waverly’s dad.”

Rosita sighed. “Wow. I missed so much. So Waverly is a half angel. Okay, not as surprising as I thought. Makes a lot of sense.”

“Yeah, I mean she was always the ‘good’ Earp, so it—”

“You’re a good Earp, too, Wynonna.” Rosita interrupted with her serious face on. “To be honest, you might be the first good Earp.”

Wynonna rapidly shook her head. “That’s not true. I have fucked things up.”

“I’m not going to argue about this with you. I’ve met all the Earps since Wyatt. They were all pretty terrible. Especially your father.”

She tensed up. Talking about the sins of Wyatt Earp was a lot easier to talk about than the sins of her father. He wasn’t someone she liked to talk about (or think about). Not just because the most traumatic moment of her life was his death. She just didn’t have anything good to say about him (most of her memories of him were bad).

“He was a bastard.”

Rosita nodded as if she knew what Wynonna wasn’t saying. “You deserved better than him. All kids do. Mine was… I was really lucky that he died when I was young. Best thing that happened to my mother.”

Wynonna tried to skip over the fact that she and Rosita seemed like they had similar fathers and said, “I’ve got mommy issues, too, so…”

“I’m sure you do. Who doesn’t? Can I ask you a question, though?”

“Shoot.”

“Why do you keep seeing me? I mean, I’m very pleased that you brought me clothes and dinner and we’re having all these conversations, but you didn’t want to get to know me at all years ago. Actually, I was pretty sure you hated me. Even before I pulled the shittiest move of all time.”

She opened her mouth, a little surprised that Rosita finally voiced how weird it was that they were becoming borderline friends. She didn’t know how to answer. She didn’t know why she kept showing up with stuff as excuses. She didn’t know why she spent all of her days wishing she was with Rosita (though she kept trying to push that thought far far away).

“I don’t know.”

Rosita frowned slightly. “I don’t mind. Seriously, Wynonna. Every time you come, it really cheers me up. You’re—you make me happy. Wow, that came out really fucking cringy, but it’s true. I just don’t want you to think that you have to come see me. I don’t want this to be out of pity, you know?”

“I’m not coming to you out of pity,” Wynonna breathed out, avoiding Rosita’s eyes as much as she could. “Believe me, Rosita, I’m not that nice.”

“So… you’re here because…”

Wynonna shivered and placed her food back in the bag. “Because I don’t know! You’re like the one person I can handle being around right now! I don’t know what else to say!”

“Hey,” Rosita grabbed Wynonna’s hand as she tried to pack everything up, “don’t do that. It’s okay. It’s totally okay. I won’t interrogate you any further. It’s fine.”

Wynonna clenched her teeth together. She wanted to keep her cool. Pretend like she was here because it was something to do. She didn’t want Rosita to know how much spending time with her meant, how it was keeping her going when she felt like she just wanted it all to stop. She wanted to pretend like nothing Rosita said or did affected her.

Wynonna pulled her hand away sharply.

“Shit, I fucked things up, didn’t I?” Rosita asked, worry drowning her voice. “Please, let’s change the topic. Please. We can talk about anything else.”

Wynonna felt sick. She wanted to be able to talk about something else—anything else—but her mind was swarming with thoughts she couldn’t control when she normally could. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t say anything but she couldn’t quite move either. She was frozen. Paralyzed.

“Wynonna…”

“I can’t—” her throat felt so dry, so dry. “I can’t—I need to leave.”

She stumbled as she stood up. Blood rushed to her head and for a second, she thought her dizziness would send her to the ground, but Rosita had gotten a hold of her. The ex-Revenant was holding her up, unwilling to let her fall.

Wynonna was trembling, but she was held tight. She didn’t want to enjoy it, Rosita’s embrace. She hated that the ex-Revenant was stronger than her. Wynonna hadn’t been sleeping, hadn’t been eating. She had been feeling weak for a long time. And as much as she hated it, it felt nice being held.

Rosita smelled like a burning candle. Cinnamon.

“You don’t need to leave,” Rosita whispered into her ear. “You can stay. Please, stay. I don’t want you to go out like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’ll fall apart if I let you go.”

Wynonna scoffed quietly. “I won’t fall apart.”

“Okay.”

“I won’t.”

“Okay.”

Rosita still hadn’t let go. And even though all the warning bells were going off in her head, Wynonna didn’t make her. She just let it all happen.

She let Rosita hold her until their arms became numb. She let Rosita drag her to the mattress. She let Rosita tenderly place her on the bed and wrap her up in blankets. She let Rosita wrap her arms around her. She let Rosita breathe into her neck, her skin. She let Rosita trace circles around her hands.

“I really hope one day you can tell me what’s going on,” Rosita told her as Wynonna began to feel drowsy. “I’m here. No matter what, I’m here.”

She let Rosita embrace her until she fell asleep.

part v

Six hours later.

Nicole was blue. Blue and dead. Dead and blue. Wynonna was screaming for help, but no one could hear her. No one could see Nicole’s dead body in the tub. She was dead and there was nothing she could do. She blinked and the body was Waverly. She blinked and the body was Rachel. She blinked and the body was Jeremy. She blinked and the body was Doc. She blinked and the body was Rosita. She blinked and the body was Alice.

She woke up breathless in a cold sweat. Rosita was already all over her, asking if she was okay, asking if she could do anything. She just shook her head and sat up. She felt like throwing up, but she swallowed the bile.

“I need to get home,” Wynonna muttered, her voice hoarse and so wrong sounding. She scrambled up from the bed and said, “I have to—I need to make sure they’re okay.”

“Okay,” Rosita said and started helping Wynonna get her things together. “I get it. But maybe you should call your sister. I don’t think you should leave like—”

“I’ll be fine,” Wynonna stated firmly. Rosita looked unsatisfied with that answer. “I’m fine, Rosie, I promise.”

Rosita raised her eyebrows at the nickname, but didn’t say anything. “Okay. Wynonna, please stay safe. Dammit, I wish you could call me when you got home.”

“Fuck, I almost forgot.” Wynonna pulled out the cheap phone she bought and passed it to the other woman. “This is for you.”

Rosita’s eyebrows shot up. “You got me a phone?”

“A burner phone. Don’t get too excited.” She tried to joke, but Rosita looked just as concerned. “I’ll call you. I already programmed my number in there. That way I can text you before I come so I don’t interrupt your sexcapades.”

That seemed to reassure her somewhat. “So you’ll call? When you get home?”

Wynonna’s face softened. “I will. Promise. I’ll see you later, Bustillos.”

She left before giving her the chance to say goodbye back.

part vi

One day later.

Rosita was waiting for her. Wynonna had texted her, telling her she was coming. She had a long day hunting a demon who was feasting on livers. It reminded her of an x-files episode. Or Hannibal Lecter. Either way, it ended up with her asking for Doc’s help, who she found shacked up with Amon at the Glory Hole. Wynonna pretended like it wasn’t like a punch to the stomach. Doc and Amon helped and in the end, Wynonna was covered with the demon’s guts. Which was why she showed up to the nunnery after taking seven showers.

“Your hair…” Rosita grinned and reached for Wynonna’s wet hair. “It’s stringy.”

Wynonna pouted. “It’s wet.”

“That’s what she said. Come on, Wynonna. I have food this time. I was able to get this Uber Eats thing on my new phone. I stole a little bit from the collective bank.”

Wynonna gasped dramatically. “You sinner. Right in front of God. Savage.”

“I thought so,” Rosita smirked and started to head toward her room with Wynonna. “I do have to say, the nuns are starting to dislike me.”

The Heir snorted. “Why?”

Rosita lowered her voice. “They don’t like you hanging around.”

“Ah,” Wynonna muttered and closed the door behind them. “They don’t like me taking you away from their sexy times?”

“Probably. Here. I bought tacos. You love them, right? I think I remember you and Waverly having them all the time.”

She held up the bag of food and Wynonna’s mouth watered. “You’re my savior. I deserve a fucking treat. I not only had demon guts all over me, I saw my baby daddy’s tongue in another dude’s mouth.”

Rosita winced. “Ouch. That must hurt. Speaking of, I’m sorry he and I were… you know.”

Wynonna’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you apologizing? Doc tends to want me until he doesn’t. Besides, who wouldn’t want a complete brilliant sexy genius like you?”

She smiled up at her and passed her a taco. “Thanks, but plenty of people. So, how do you feel about Doc being with someone else?”

Wynonna shrugged and took a bite. “It hurt, but it’s happened plenty of times for me to be used to it by now. I just thought… we seemed to be getting somewhere before… but it hurts less than I think it should.”

“What do you mean?”

She didn’t quite know how to explain what she meant. She had been thinking about it a lot. Ever since she had first met with Rosita again.

“Have you ever felt like you’ve… fallen for the idea of a person, or something that they represent, but not the actual person?”

Rosita tilted her head. “I’m not sure if I have, but I understand what you mean.”

“Doc believed in me before anyone else did. And then… and then I had his baby and I… I don’t know.”

“Well,” Rosita grinned at her, her hair falling into her face. “Doc is making the biggest mistake of his whole entire existence. How’s the taco?”

Wynonna felt her cheeks redden with heat. “So much better than when it’s vegan. You are a hero.”

“Ha. It was easy. So, tell me about this demon. Are there that many left in Purgatory?”

Wynonna told Rosita all about the Purgatory that she was still getting used to after being gone for a year and a half. She told her about the turbulent relationship between demons and humans, how there were demons that had a resemblance of class (like Amon) and those that were so hungry for human flesh that they couldn’t help it.

She told her about how Nicole was back as sheriff and that being a part of BBD was weird and felt wrong, especially after what they did to Dolls. She talked about training Rachel, trying to make her into a fighter. She talked about seeing herself in the teenager, but how she also saw Nicole in her. A lot of Nicole in her.

She told her about the Wayhaught wedding planning. How they were planning to have the wedding on Earp land (a little afraid to have it anywhere else and have it interrupted by demons). How Wynonna didn’t know if she was going to be Nicole or Wynonna’s maid or honor/best man. How Jeremy was getting obsessed with all the little details.

Rosita absorbed everything, listening intently to everything she said. Nodding along, asking questions, and laughing at the right moments. Wynonna was surprised to find that she enjoyed telling Rosita things. The good things. And when she was done, she told Rosita to recount her own last few weeks.

When they were done with their tacos and collapsed onto the mattress, Rosita talked about the other nuns and all the gossip that happened between the nuns. She talked about the nuns who fought over her and each other, making Wynonna crack up with laughter. Laughing made her feel lighter, freer. For once like her world wasn’t collapsing beneath her.

“Uh oh. What is this? Wynonna Earp laughing at my stories? Is it possible?” Rosita was on her side, facing Wynonna who was mirroring her.

“Don’t get so full of yourself,” Wynonna joked and smiled, trying her hardest not to pay attention to Rosita’s eyes or her lips or her chest. “I only find you marginally funny. I’m mostly just laughing at you.”

“Nah, Earp. You think I’m funny.”

“Funny looking, maybe. Looks aren’t everything, you know.”

Rosita pursed her lips and let out a breathy chuckle. “You’re a dick, you know that, right? You can’t even admit that you think I’m funny.”

“Why would I do that? It would give you a big head. You’re already gorgeous and brilliant, if you thought you were funny, your ego would just multiply in size.”

Rosita raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

Wynonna rolled her eyes. “As if you didn’t know that.”

“Maybe I just hoped you did.”

Their eyes locked. Wynonna felt her chest pounding and her stomach flutter. For a second, she thought she could drown in Rosita’s eyes. She knew she could do it without any effort. And in that moment, she thought she could kiss her. Taste her. Love her.

No.

Wynonna looked away and laid flat on her back. She didn’t want to see her. She didn’t want to keep looking at her lips or drowning in her eyes. That territory was dangerous. Because what they had here was great. It was easy. It felt good. And there was no way she was going to risk losing it.

“So, what’s the rude nun’s deal? Cecilia? Why is she always glaring at me?”

Rosita paused for a second, like she was debating something else, but then took a deep breath and told Wynonna what exactly her deal was. Back and forth, they continued to talk about meaningless things until they drifted off to sleep.

part vii

Two weeks later.

Wynonna: yo rosita r u sure that cecilia bitch wont hit me when i come inside again

Rosita: come inside what ;)

Wynonna: you’re worse than me

Wynonna: answer the goddamn question

Rosita: don’t worry about her, the others have her under control

Wynonna: good, i’m coming in

Wynonna: don’t you dare make a joke

Wynonna entered the nunnery a little worse for wear. She spent the last week hunting a pack of demons that were working for Cleo. Cleo was not great at being a bad guy, but she was good at finding bad guys to fuck up Wynonna’s life.

At the very least, she was feeling stronger. She had been sleeping (over with Rosita) and had been eating (with Rosita). She had been spending every night with Rosita, eating dinner and falling asleep in her arms. She was just glad that no one living in the homestead had noticed her sneaking away. That was a conversation she did not want to have. They were leaving her alone for the most part ever since Doc ended whatever they were.

When she wasn’t with Rosita, she wished she was with her. She was doing better being around Waverly, Nicole, Rachel, and Jeremy, but their company couldn’t compare to what she felt like around Rosita.

There weren’t even any nuns around when she came in, which was a miracle. Usually, she got horrible stares from them. And then there was Cecilia, who hit her because she was ‘jealous’ of the amount of time Rosita was spending with her. That did not feel great. But it seemed like Rosita had done something to make sure she wasn’t in the presence of any nuns.

“What food did you bring for me today?” Rosita said as she bounced toward Wynonna, all giddy in a way that made Wynonna smile.

“I had a rough day so I have… cake.”

Rosita grinned at her. “And I have forks.”

Wynonna followed Rosita to her room and felt a rush of relief inside. Somehow she felt more at home in a weapon room than she did at her own homestead. She still didn’t know how that happened.

Rosita pulled out the boxed cake and grinned at her. “Chocolate cake. What did I do to deserve such kindness?”

Wynonna snorted. “You are letting me stay in your room most nights.”

“Fair enough. I’d like to think you’d let me stay in your barn if I could.”

Wynonna pretended to wince. “Ooh, you would be living in close proximity to a moody teenager and horny couple, though.”

“Doesn’t sound too terrible to me if you’re around.”

“You’re a weird one.”

Rosita stuck out her tongue. “Says you. Cake time.”

They were silent for a few minutes as they got into the cake. Wynonna was glad with her decision. She was definitely feeling better.

“So, you said your day was rough? What happened?” Rosita asked between bites of food.

Wynonna shrugged. “Still dealing with the pack of freaking demons. And Doc’s still upset with me because he thinks this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t—” She couldn’t say it, but Rosita nodded like she understood.

“He’s a fucking hypocrite. You did what you had to do, ‘Nonna, don’t forget that. So… the demons are still out and about?”

“Two down, two to go. The Black Badge weapons aren’t even really helping.”

“Demons be fickle like that,” Rosita joked lightly. “You’ve got a little cake on your nose.”

Wynonna flushed and tried to wipe her nose. “Did I get it?”

“Here, let me,” Rosita whispered and leaned over slowly, very very close to Wynonna’s face. “It’s right… here…”

Wynonna waited for Rosita to wipe her nose (as she ignored how good Rosita smelled), but Rosita just grabbed a handful of cake and slathered it onto Wynonna’s nose. She gasped in complete and utter surprise. She definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“You dick!” Instead of wiping the cake off her nose, she grabbed whatever she could from her nose and threw it at Rosita, landing in her hair. “Got you in your luscious hair.”

Rosita grimaced as she tried to take the cake out of her hair. “My hair!? My hair, Wynonna!? Seriously?”

Wynonna grinned devilishly at her. “Well, as they say, if you really want to hurt someone, you go after what they love the most.”

“It’s on, Wynonna.”

Rosita grabbed a handful of cake and threw it at Wynonna’s shoulder as Wynonna threw a piece at Rosita’s head. It only took a few seconds for it to turn into a fully fledged war. They were laughing and screaming as they aimed cake at each other.

When Rosita hit Wynonna’s jacket, however, was when it became intense. Wynonna jumped on top of her and rubbed a piece of cake all over the top of her head. Rosita winked to catch her off guard before she forced them to roll around so that she was on top. She pinned Wynonna’s wrists to the ground, forcing out a groan from Wynonna.

“I’ve got you now.”

Wynonna’s chest was heaving as heat flowed through her entire body. Rosita was sitting on her, smirking in a way that made the heat throb. Cake was falling off Rosita’s head, but all of her attention was on Rosita’s eyes. It was always on her eyes.

“You do.”

Wynonna blinked and Rosita’s lips were on hers. She was frozen for a second before she kissed her back. She couldn’t help it. Desire fiercely roared through her in a way it really hadn’t before. Besides, Rosita’s lips were soft and gentle and eager and so kissable. Her whole body from head to toe felt like it was tingling. Electric.

Wynonna wanted more. More and more and more and more. She ran her tongue against Rosita’s bottom lip and Rosita obliged. Her tongue was in the other woman’s mouth and at the sound of Rosita’s moan into her mouth, Wynonna almost died on the spot. The heat between her legs was killing her.

“Fuck.”

The sound of Rosita’s voice forced Wynonna to stop. To realize what had happened. To regret everything. She easily pushed Rosita off of her and quickly stood up. Rosita looked at her with such confusion, such hurt that it nearly broke Wynonna’s heart that very second.

“What’s wrong?” Rosita asked, her voice so quiet, so terrified.

Tears were falling from Wynonna’s eyes. Rosita thought she was rejecting her, which wasn’t the case at all. Instead, Wynonna was stopping things before Rosita had the chance to reject her. She knew it would inevitably happen. It always did.

“This was wrong! You weren’t supposed to kiss me!”

Rosita started crying too. “Why? I thought you wanted me, too!”

“I…” she did want her. She wanted Rosita more than she had ever wanted anybody. And that was fucking terrifying. “It doesn’t matter. You ruined this, Rosita! You were my person and you… you ruined this.”

“I’m sorry!” Rosita choked out as she reached for Wynonna’s hand, but she just pulled away and started walking backward toward the door. “I’m so sorry. Just please stay. Let’s talk about it. Please, Wynonna. Let’s talk about it.”

Wynonna shook her head rapidly. She couldn’t stay and watch Rosita cry. She couldn’t stay and watch as everything was falling apart. She wouldn’t do that to herself. She wouldn’t do that to Rosita.

“I have to go.”

Wynonna, with her lips still numb, turned around and headed for the door as fast as she could.

“Please stay, Wynonna!” Rosita shouted suddenly, stopping Wynonna in her tracks. “Don’t do this, ‘Nonna! Stay with me!”

Wynonna bit her numb lips, drawing blood. “I can’t.”

Rosita didn’t chase her out of the room. She didn’t know what she would have done if Rosita had followed her out. She just had to get out of there. She just had to get out of there. She just had to get out of there.

part viii

Three hours later.

Rosita: wynonna, please answer your phone, i’ve called you 3 times

Rosita: please wynonna

Rosita: you’re worrying me

Rosita: please, let’s just talk about this

Rosita: i’d fucking come to you if i could

Six hours later.

Rosita: just tell me you’re okay

Rosita: i just want to make sure you’re fine

Rosita: fuck

Rosita: wynonna, please

Rosita: i’m begging you

Twelve hours later.

Rosita: i shouldn’t have kissed you, i should have asked

Rosita: we would never ever have to kiss again, i assure you

Rosita: wynonna, we can just be friends

Rosita: or whatever you want to be

Rosita: i just want you to talk to me

Twelve hours later.

Rosita: you’re scaring me

Rosita: if you don’t pick up your fucking phone i’m going to leave this fucking nunnery, damn the consequences

Wynonna: dont be an idiot

Rosita: wynonna are you okay?

Rosita: wynonna?

Thirty hours later.

Rosita: don’t do this, please

Rosita: we can pretend like it never happened

Rosita: i promise, it’ll be like before

Rosita: please

Rosita: you’re the only one who understands me

Rosita: you’re the only one who has ever understood me

Rosita: please

Two weeks later.

Rosita: i need you

part ix

One day later.

She didn’t know why she was back. It had been about two and a half weeks since she had been here. Two and a half weeks of hating herself. Two and a half weeks of hating how she left and how she felt like she couldn’t go back. Two and a half weeks of missing everything about Rosita. Two and a half weeks of wishing she was back in her arms, back in her bed, back kissing her lips.

She wished that it was Rosita’s last text that had convinced her to come back, but instead, it was her nosy best friend.

“You’re mopey again. And drinking.”

Wynonna rolled her eyes at the redhead, who was looking at all the empty bottles in her bed. “And you’re annoying. So what?”

Haught glared at her. “Go see her, Earp. Please. For all of our sakes.”

“What the hell are you on about?”

Haught put her hands on her hips. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but I know you were going off to see Rosita every night a couple of weeks ago. Rachel told me that she had seen you sneaking out and I followed you. I connected the pieces. I have to say, I was surprised, but she was making you so happy.”

Wynonna groaned and buried her head in her pillow. “Did you tell my sister?”

“Not my problem. You should tell her, not me. So… what happened?” Nicole sat down on the makeshift bed with Wynonna.

“She kissed me.”

“And that’s a bad thing? Did she force herself on you?”

“No, nothing like that. I kissed her back.”

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows. “So… what’s the problem?”

Wynonna shook her head, frustrated that she didn’t understand. “I’m a fuck up. I would fuck it up. I don’t do relationships.”

“But you like her?”

“Too much.”

Nicole sighed. “Wynonna, don’t focus on the relationship. Don’t focus on any of that shit. It doesn’t matter. What matters is how you feel about her and you wanting to be with her. Everything else, that’s just fluff. You deserve this. You deserve her.”

Tears spilled from her eyes. “She’s too good for me.”

“You’re an idiot, Earp.” Nicole reached over and wiped some of her tears away. “Go to her. Tell her the truth. Everything else is fluff.”

Fluff.

She opened the door to find fucking Cecelia’s fist. Blood was spilling from the cut in her lip. Fucking Cecilia.

“Hey! What the hell is going on here?”

Rosita was running toward her as Wynonna held onto her rapidly bruising face. The first thing she noticed was that Rosita was back in her nun outfit. Out of Wynonna’s clothes. It was a fucking stab to her heart (though Wynonna understood why).

“Rosita…” Wynonna breathed out when she finally approached her.

“I thought you wouldn’t want her back inside,” Cecilia hissed to Rosita proudly, like she had been of service to her.

“Go away, Cecelia, you didn’t have to fucking hit her,” Rosita muttered and finally turned to look at Wynonna, who was practically speechless. “That should be my job.”

Wynonna gulped and stiffened, ready for a smack. But nothing happened.

“Did you really think I was going to hit you?” There was no resemblance of humor in her voice. She seemed genuinely concerned.

Wynonna shrugged. She didn’t tell her that it had happened before.

Rosita seemed to know the answer to the question even though she was silent. Her hard eyes softened and she reached out to pull the other brunette into her arms. Tears immediately spilled out of Wynonna’s eyes. She had missed this so much. Rosita’s arms.

“Goddammit, Wynonna.”

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized and squeezed Rosita tighter. “I shouldn’t have left you like that. I should have picked up my fucking phone. I was so scared.”

“Of what?”

“You, me, us. All of it.”

Rosita pulled away and cupped Wynonna’s tear covered cheeks. “I never would have done anything you weren’t comfortable with. We don’t—let’s go into my room. Everyone’s watching us.”

Wynonna looked around and realized that Rosita was right. Nuns were staring down at her, glaring at her in the creepiest way possible. She shuddered and followed Rosita to her room, anxiously waiting for Rosita to finish what she was saying.

When the doors closed, Rosita continued. “Wynonna, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Ever. ”

Wynonna ran her fingers through her hair. She knew this was going to be the hard part. Telling the truth. Being vulnerable. She fucking hated it. But with Rosita holding her hand as they sat on the mattress, she felt reassured. She felt strong enough to do this.

“It’s not that I don’t want us to do things. It’s just… I’ve never done this. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I fuck up every single potential relationship I’ve ever had and I have never ever been enough. I don’t want us to get together and for me to ruin this.”

“Oh, Wynonna…” Rosita squeezed her hand and took a deep breath. “I don’t know what Doc or anyone else said or did, but you need to know that you are enough for anyone. You might be a colossal hot mess, but Wynonna, anyone would be lucky to have you. As a friend, as a lover, as a mother…”

Wynonna broke.

Physically, emotionally, she broke down. She placed her head in her hands, crying into them as she tried to move away from Rosita, not wanting her to have to deal with this. She never liked anyone to see her like this. Not even Waverly.

“Wynonna…” Rosita moved closer to her and tried to pull her close.

For a few long seconds, Wynonna pushed her away as hard as she could. Tears streaming down her face, she struggled with Rosita, screaming and hitting, trying to get away from her when all the ex-Revenant was doing was trying to hold her closer. Normally, Wynonna would have been able to fight against her, but while she was desperately shaking and forgetting how to breathe, she couldn’t fight against her. She hated it. She hated that Rosita was holding her, cradling her in her arms, whispering that she needed to breathe.

She didn’t deserve it. Just like she didn’t deserve Doc. Just like she didn’t deserve her sister’s love or Haught’s friendship.

But she continued to sob into Rosita’s shoulder as the woman ran her fingers through Wynonna’s hair. She didn’t know how to stop. How to start breathing like a normal person. She hadn’t done this in awhile. And usually, it happened when she was alone and she’d cry until she couldn’t anymore.

She clung to Rosita’s nun robe until she finally was able to breathe along with her and coughed out, “I’m ruining your clothes.”

“Eh, there’s more of ‘em. I could take it off if you wanted.”

“Why are y-you doing this?” Wynonna asked her (somehow ignoring Rosita’s innuendo), her voice trembling as fiercely as her body. She couldn’t think of a single person other than Waverly who would do this for her.

Rosita shrugged. “You know I don’t want to see you suffer.”

That wasn’t good enough for her. “I ghosted you.”

“You did, but I don’t give a shit about that right now. You’re Wynonna fucking Earp. The bravest, most loyal, and sexiest person I’ve ever met. You have so much shit on your shoulders and everyone expects you to just deal with it with a smile. It’s okay if you’re not doing okay.”

She shook her head, not allowing a single word to mean anything to her. “I’m not just doing ‘not okay’, I’m doing total shit. I’m a fuck-up, Rosita, it’d be a joke to pretend like I’m anything but.”

Startling Wynonna, Rosita gently traced a finger from Wynonna’s eyebrow to her chin and whispered, “just cause you think you’re a fuck-up doesn’t mean you not also all those things I said.” She grinned down at her, knowing Wynonna’d smile.

“You’re a beautiful idiot.”

“All I’m hearing is that I’m beautiful.”

Wynonna wiped her tears and smiled at her. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“You literally compliment and flirt with me all the time. Like in every sentence. Even when you try to criticize me—”

“Yeah, yeah.” Wynonna looked down, tried to gather herself, and said, “I’m sorry I ghosted you.”

“I’m sorry I kissed you.”

Wynonna shook her head. “Can you do it again?”

“Wynonna, I don’t want you to feel like we have to do anything.”

“Please. Please kiss me, Rosita. I just want you to fucking—”

Rosita interrupted her with her lips. Her fucking lips. She kissed her with a greedy need and Wynonna returned it. Give and take. Wynonna wanted all of her. It was all need.

The Heir gracefully moved so that instead of the cradling position they were in, she could sit on Rosita’s lap, placing her hand on Rosita’s waist. Rosita smiled slightly at the touch and the kiss deepened. Rosita’s hands were all in the other woman’s hair.

When Wynonna’s mouth traveled to Rosita’s chin, down to her neck, Rosita asked, “I thought you didn’t want this.”

Wynonna came up for air and found Rosita’s brown eyes. “God, I want everything with you. Everything else is fluff.”

Rosita snorted. “Fluff? Who are you and what have you done with Wynonna Earp?”

“Don’t be cheeky,” Wynonna quipped back. “What I mean is, all of my worries, when I’m with you, it’s just extra fluff. What matters is that I want you. I want to spend all my time with you. I want to talk to you. I want to laugh with you. I want to kiss you. And you know I want to fuck you. I want you.” She kissed her neck. “I want you.” She kissed her jawline. “I want you.” She kissed her cheek. “I want you.” She kissed her lips.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” Rosita muttered between kisses. “Though I’m pretty sure I want you more.”

Wynonna felt like her whole body was on fire. She just kissed her with more urgency, more desire, more love. She tried to find a zipper or button or something on Rosita’s nun thing and growled when she couldn’t find anything.

“Fuck it.”

She ripped it.

Rosita laughed. “Needy.”

It didn’t take long for the nun outfit to be in shreds. She was caught a little off-guard when she saw Rosita’s body, her fucking body, her entire glorious body. She quickly started to memorize every section of skin, every curve, every line.

“See something you like?”

“You’re gorgeous.”

Rosita grinned at her and started taking Wynonna’s clothes off until they scattered across the floor. Rosita started touching her, her fingers feeling like bolts of energy across her skin. Rosita’s touch brought her back to life.

part x

One year later.

Wynonna’s eyes snapped open at the sound of pots and pans. She groaned and rolled over, bumping into a body. She was mostly used to sleeping with another body, but it still sometimes startled her. In a good way. She couldn’t believe that it had been a year and that they were still together, even though the bed was different.

The other woman wrapped her arms around her and Wynonna breathed her in. She smelled like home.

“I’m going to kill my sister for waking us up every morning.”

Rosita chuckled and kissed her forehead. “She’s making us breakfast, you know.”

“Even so, she’s making me miss the nunnery.”

“That’s dramatic. You added an extension on the house for a reason, Wynonna. I would not have liked to live in the barn.”

Wynonna grinned at her cheesily. “It was a cozy barn.”

Rosita rolled her eyes. “Not cozy enough for me. I’m just personally glad you finally told your sister. She was the one who figured out how I could stay here with the ammonite.”

“And she’s been teasing me about you ever since.”

Rosita pretended to pout. “Oh. You poor baby. You have to deal with your mean sister making fun of you being cute with your girlfriend. Your hot girlfriend, might I add.”

Wynonna smirked and started to trace her fingers along her girlfriend’s arm. “The hottest girlfriend in the world.”

The ex-Revenant hummed. “How long do you think we can wait until we have to go see your sister.”

She groaned. “Knowing her, she’ll probably knock on our door in three minutes if we don’t get up. I can’t believe she’s still doing her interruption ‘payback’ scheme. Wynonnus Interruptus was charming. Waverly Interrupy is just a jerk.”

“Well,” Rosita sighed and began to tug at the boxers Wynonna was wearing, “we can do a lot in three minutes.”

Wynonna’s heart thumped as her girlfriend rolled on top of her and started kissing her neck. She moaned and started to mess with Rosita’s bra clip. It was almost completely off when there was a banging on the door.

“Breakfast is ready, lovebirds!”

Both of them groaned in frustration and Rosita flopped back down on the bed. They acted surprised even though this happened almost every morning. Wynonna wasn’t sure if she’d ever get used to it, though. Waking up to Rosita every morning. Rosita, her girlfriend. Her fucking girlfriend. It still amazed her. She couldn’t believe she stayed.

“I guess that means we have to put clothes on,” Rosita sighed as she sat up and pulled her long hair into a messy bun.

Wynonna gazed at her girlfriend. “Please don’t put clothes on.”

“Baby…” Rosita leaned over and kissed her. “The last time we left the room looking like this we were told that we ‘traumatized’ the munchkin.”

“Smalldez. Ruining our mood.” Wynonna scrunched up her nose and frowned.

Rosita snorted. “It also just so happened that she was on facetime with her significant other. Rachel said that they were very concerned about her when it happened.”

“Okay, so we learned our lesson! Rachel legit saw Waverly and Nicole on the floor in the kitchen. I don’t know how us in our bras could be that much worse.”

The ex-Revenant shrugged. “Don’t know. But we have to get out of bed or it’s just going to be worse for us. You know that. The last time we stayed in our room, when we came out, they all had headphones on. And we weren’t even really doing anything. And when we have Alice come home, it’ll just be worse. She’ll need you all the time.”

The mention of Alice sent both excitement and anxiety through her body. With Cleo admitting defeat and surrendering and most of the demons under control, they decided to bring Alice back home. Wynonna was still in a state of shock. She was so worried when she found out she was pregnant that she’d have to do it all alone. But she had her sister, her best friend/sister-in-law, Doc, Rachel, and Rosita. Rosita, who told her that she would be there for her and Alice, no matter what.

“She’ll need us, Rosie.”

A smile grew from Rosita’s lips. “Imagine in a few weeks time, your little girl will be in our arms.”

It was the only thing that Wynonna had been thinking about in the last few months. “It’s crazy. I’m so excited for her to be home. It’ll be like…”

“Like what, Wy?”

Wynonna took a deep breath, knowing what she was going to say was a big deal. “Like all the people I love will be in one place. Like my family will finally be together. Like I’m finally happy. I know a lot of it has to do with you.”

Rosita cupped Wynonna’s cheeks and kissed her nose. “You make me happier than I’ve ever been, Wynonna.”

“Rosita, I—I love you. So fucking much. I love you so much.”

She finally said it. She knew it was the truth after a week of being together, but she wasn’t ready to say it out loud until now. She was emotionally ready, now. She knew what there relationship was and she knew that it was strong. There was nothing that could pull them apart. Not now.

“Wynonna Earp,” Rosita laughed and wiped the tears that flowed from Wynonna’s eyes. “I love you, too. More than anything. More than the amount of stars in the sky. No matter what.”

Wynonna grinned, feeling a burst of love spread throughout her entire body. She kissed her with everything she had. God, she loved Rosita Bustillos.

“BREAKFAST IS GETTING COLD!”

“I think we’re going to be in trouble,” Rosita joked and kissed her gently. “We should go.”

Wynonna sighed in agreement. “We should.”

They didn’t.

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