#xie lian is just there for the ride at this point in his life
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hua cheng: don’t even worry about it bro
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#ghost city#tgcf first read#this book is an actual masterpiece#the humor??#peak comedy#xie lian is just there for the ride at this point in his life
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infinities within infinities
"Don't get me wrong," Xie Lian says, "I'm really grateful for the donation, but I don't think it's right to name the library after me."
But the man in the three-piece suit seems insistent. "You're a groundbreaking force in the world of philosophy," he says ardently. "I've read your Man, Thrice Ascended at least ten times. What you have to say about the concept of self as the infinite is revolutionary." He grins. The leather of the eyepatch over his right eye gleams in the sunlight. "The least you deserve is to have libraries named after you."
Xie Lian looks him over. This Hua Cheng is known as a reclusive billionaire, but there’s nothing withdrawn about him now, as he surveys Xie Lian with a bright eye. Instead, he’s almost preternaturally relaxed, hands in his pockets, smiling as bright as if he’d captured the sun. Despite the money and the insistent words, there’s nothing intimidating about him.. Xie Lian rather likes him.
“Well, thank you, I suppose, Mr. Hua,” he says carefully. He still isn’t sure about the Xie Philosophy Library concept. He looks up at the building and tries to imagine his name on the placard; it just seems preposterous. The dreams of a very young graduate student who thought he could change the whole nature of philosophy. Now, a fool’s wish. That it would be granted so suddenly, and by the young man in front of him who can’t be out of his twenties? Unimaginable.
“No need to thank me,” Hua Cheng says, shaking his head. “The very least I could do. Do you need a ride anywhere, Professor?”
**
Hua Cheng’s car might as well be a spaceship for how much it sticks out among the dumpy minivans and compact cars that surround it in the parking lot. Black, sleek, and gleaming, it truly seems to have beamed here from some point in a glittering future. Hua Cheng unlocks it with the touch of a button, and then, with another, the passenger side door swings open of its own volition. Xie Lian peeks inside. The interior is black as well, but for some touches that stand out in burning crimson.
“Go on, Professor.” Hua Cheng is leaning on his side of the car, casting a sideways glance at him. “Make yourself comfortable.”
Xie Lian obeys, ducking his head to get in. “You really needn’t call me Professor,” he says as Hua Cheng joins him on the driver’s side.
“What should I call you, then?” Hua Cheng’s smile is devastatingly brilliant, and Xie Lian is glad he’s sitting, because his knees have just gone to jelly. “I could call you gege, if it’s not too informal.”
He’s teasing -- at least, Xie Lian thinks he’s teasing -- but honestly the word comes out of his mouth more naturally than professor, and Xie Lian likes the sound of it better. “Gege is fine,” he says lightly.
“But in return,” Hua Cheng says, starting up the car, “you have to call me San Lang.”
“Why?” There’s something buzzing in Xie Lian’s brain now about the concept of naming, what we call ourselves versus what others call us, but he shunts it aside.
“Why do you think?” The car pulls out of its space, and a low rumble echoes in Xie Lian’s gut as it starts to navigate the parking lot. Hua Cheng is glancing at him between peeks in the rearview mirror. “You know what they say about us billionaires, we’re eccentric. Humor me.”
“Very well, San Lang,” Xie Lian replies, and he likes the sound of that, too.
It’s ten minutes of buzzing around the downtown streets before Xie Lian realizes he never gave a destination. “San Lang,” he says carefully, “where are we going?”
“Here and there,” Hua Cheng says. “I want to pick your brain about Man, Thrice Ascended.”
“Oh.” Xie Lian is flattered, and honestly the concept of riding around aimlessly in this sleek machine appeals to him. “Go right ahead, then.”
“To tell you the truth,” Hua Cheng says, “I have trouble wrapping my head around the concept of the self as infinite. Unless you believe in a higher power, the concept of self seems painfully finite to me, as it only exists between birth and death. Isn’t that a pretty limited span?”
“Only temporally,” Xie Lian replies. “Did you know that there are 22 million seconds in the average lifetime?”
“22 million is a lot, but it’s not infinity,” Hua Cheng counters.
“Ah, but a second isn’t instantaneous. Seconds take time. If you’ve ever tried to hold a plank for more than a minute, you know that well.” And he really does look like the type who could hold it. If not for two. “The unit of time I’d rather use is the moment.”
Hua Cheng glances at him. The car pulls onto the highway. “The moment?” he asks, gently spurring Xie Lian forward.
“Exactly,” Xie Lian says. “The moment is instantaneous. Maybe there are hundreds of millions of moments in the span of a single second of time. Maybe more than that. We can conceptualize, then, that each second of a lifetime contains within it infinite moments, and each lifetime 22 million infinities.”
“But a moment is hardly an appreciable measure of time,” Hua Cheng says. “How many moments can we experience as moments with our limited consciousness? The moments experienced are still finite to the mind of the human who tries to count them. Even if you count as fast as you can, you can’t count to 100 within the space of a single second, much less infinity.”
“You’re asking good questions,” Xie Lian comments.
Hua Cheng glows a little. “I told you, I’ve read the book a thousand times.”
“Well, if you did read the book, then you know that our concept of moments here is merely a framework.” They’re driving along the coast now, the bay blue and the sun starting its daily fizzle from yellow to red. “The infinities that truly populate the self are not of time, but of possibility.”
“Infinite choice in each moment.” Hua Cheng nods. “Explain it to me one more time, please, won’t you, gege?”
There’s a little plaintive moan in his voice - just a sliver of an entreaty - and it gives Xie Lian the goosebumps. Here is someone who’s truly appreciating his work, and he’s pleasant to look at and his voice is pleasant to the ear, and Xie Lian is reeling with how much good sensation is rolling into him with every second of this drive. It’s like the best of good dreams, and he doesn’t want to think of it ending.
“In any moment -- and I do mean moment, with our earlier definition,” he says, “I could lean to the left. I could lean to the right. I could blink. I could lean to the left but just a little bit harder. I could think of the color red. I could think of the color blue. I could speak. I could stay silent. I could open the door and throw myself out of this car, if I wanted.”
“Please don’t,” Hua Cheng interjects, sounding a little unnerved.
“It’s just a possibility,” Xie Lian reminds him. “There are, essentially, an infinite number of things I could do with each moment of my life. Each of them takes some time, but the process of choosing is instantaneous. So you have infinite possibilities in every single moment of infinite moments.”
“Not infinite possibilities," counters Hua Cheng. "What you decide to do in one moment, as you said, takes time. The time it takes to perform that action necessarily negates the infinite nature of the next moment. You can’t make certain decisions while performing other actions.”
“Your possibilities are still infinite in each moment,” Xie Lian argues. “Just because some actions can’t be taken doesn’t mean there aren’t still infinite possibilities open to you. Think of numbers. An infinite number of numbers end in the digit 4. It’s still an infinite set, even though numbers that end in the digit 5 aren’t included.”
Hua Cheng frowns. “Perhaps my limited mind isn’t fully able to capture it,” he says after a time. “You’re very impressive, gege.”
Heat blooms in Xie Lian’s cheeks. “Thus,” he says, “we have the three ascensions. When the mind is able to grasp the concept of infinity within limited time, it ascends once. The second ascension comes when one accepts that infinite actions can be performed within that limited time. And the third ascension…”
“...is when the mind grasps that the possibilities are infinite for each of an infinite number of moments,” Hua Cheng fills in. “Infinities within infinities, all within the self.”
They’ve pulled off to a scenic outlook point on the bay. Hua Cheng eases the car into one of three parking spots and turns off the engine. He turns to Xie Lian. “Gege always explains it so well,” he says brightly. “Thank you for indulging me.”
Xie Lian can feel the flush creeping into his cheeks. He looks away. “You’re welcome.”
Another beep, and the car’s doors are opening again. Hua Cheng gets up, rounds the car to Xie Lian’s side, and holds out his hand.
They stand for a time side by side, watching the reddening sun dip its toes into the rippling water of the bay. There’s a strange peace to standing here, Xie Lian thinks, with this person he barely knows but is so ardent about his work. I’m safe. I’m appreciated. The sureness of that is unexpected but so, so welcome. Xie Lian thinks back, trying to remember the last time he felt that way. He can’t recall.
“It’s beautiful,” he murmurs. Cars thunder past on the road behind them.
“This is one of my favorite spots,” Hua Cheng says. “I’m always taken by the vastness of the ocean here. It seems so full.” He gestures down to where the water buffets the base of the cliffs below them. “Like it’s a moment from overflowing.”
Xie Lian ponders this. “I’ve never thought of the ocean as full or not,” he says. “The implication being that no more water can be added; that it’s complete as is, existing within its bounds.”
“It’s a philosophical puzzle, isn’t it?” says Hua Cheng lightly. “Of course, climate change is solving it as we speak. Rising sea levels and all. It seems the ocean has the potential to be boundless, even as we denote lines between sea and shore.”
“And the question then becomes, how accurately can we draw those lines? And is it human folly to even attempt to do so?”
“Of course,” Hua Cheng says, “none of these problems has practical application.”
Xie Lian laughs. “Most of philosophy has no practical application. That’s why it’s philosophy.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Hua Cheng replies. “Your philosophy has had effects on my psychology, at the very least. To think of myself as infinite has changed the way I look at the world.”
“And how does it look?” Xie Lian inquires, tilting his head.
Hua Cheng gazes at him, then turns back to face the sea. “Boundless,” he says.
Xie Lian nods. The wind whips past them, whispering coldly against his cheeks and ears. He shudders.
Without a word, Hua Cheng removes his long coat and drapes it over Xie Lian’s shoulders. The coat is warm with his body heat, and all that heat seeps into Xie Lian in a rush. He draws in a breath. When Hua Cheng’s fingers touch his neck to adjust the collar, he wants to shiver again, this time not from the cold.
“Gege.” Hua Cheng’s honey-rich, low voice touches his ear like the strains of a cello. “Would you let me take you someplace nice?”
Xie Lian looks out at the darkening bay. He thinks of the view from his office window, the wall of an adjoining brick building. He could go back there, write and read until the early morning hours. Perhaps he would sleep on the cot he’s laid out in there. Staring at the mottled ceiling, contemplating eternity.
Or he could go with Hua Cheng, who is holding out his hand, looking hopeful.
Xie Lian takes it.
They drive for another 10 minutes along the coast, then take an exit into an area filled with green fields. Huge houses dot the landscape -- this is the domain of the super-rich, Xie Lian thinks, because these fields aren’t used for farming. They’re simply green as far as the eye can see, well-manicured, sometimes interrupted by copses of grand old trees with outstretched branches. Some of the houses are surrounded by lush flower gardens. It’s not an area Xie Lian’s ever been too, nor does it seem like the kind of place he would want to live. But it’s fascinating just to see it for the first time.
Hua Cheng pulls down a narrow road, then turns onto another. Xie Lian squints as he makes out something odd on the horizon. Whatever it is, it’s silver, and a cluster of buildings sit low and flat around it. When wide concrete paths start to interrupt the endless greenery, he realizes what he’s looking at.
“I thought,” he says gingerly, “when you said someplace nice, you meant a fancy restaurant.”
“We can go to a restaurant,” Hua Cheng answers airily. He pulls the car into the yard, and they park. Holding Xie Lian’s fingers loosely, he leads him along the paths toward the airfield. The private jet sits on the runway like a horse at the gate, already humming. A movable staircase leads up to the main entrance. A number of people are working around it. One of them sees the pair approaching and offers Hua Cheng a bow.
“How soon can we be ready?” Hua Cheng asks him.
“Twenty minutes,” the man says. “We’ve been prepping since we got your text.”
Xie Lian wonders when Hua Cheng had managed to text them. “This is your plane?” A silly question; Hua Cheng nods easily, as though everyone has a private airfield with a jet ready to go at any moment. “Where are you taking me?”
Hua Cheng meets his gaze with a smile. “Where would you like to go? Tokyo? Hong Kong? Thailand is stunning this time of year.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian starts, his heart pounding. Hua Cheng smiles that much more widely at the sound of the name. “Isn’t this a little…”
“Much?” Hua Cheng finishes for him. “Not at all. Not for gege.” He lays a hand on the small of Xie Lian’s back -- Xie Lian gasps at the touch -- and ushers him forward until they are both standing at the bottom of that staircase, the airplane’s door a wide unblinking eye at the top. Hua Cheng bows and makes a gesture with his hand toward the staircase -- after you.
Xie Lian’s brain rockets into high gear. He has brought nothing with him but his briefcase, and even that is still in the car. No one knows where he is or where he’s going. He’s traveled a little in life -- nothing too far from home -- but this would be a trip like no other, totally unplanned and utterly irresponsible. Every ounce of common sense in his brain is urging him to shake his head politely and back away.
But this man. This fascinating man, who is offering him the world. For every voice inside Xie Lian that says no, there’s a current of pulsing blood in his veins whispering yes, yes.
“I’m not sure,” he begins, tentatively.
“Gege,” Hua Cheng murmurs, “You speak of self as containing an infinity of possibilities for every moment of life. But the paradox of infinity is that some infinities are larger than others. At this moment, you have more possibilities than ever before. Given those infinite possibilities, at this moment, what will you choose?”
He’s right. The possibilities facing him right now are truly endless. And hidden in Hua Cheng’s words, there is a challenge -- do you dare? And Xie Lian finds, to his surprise, that he does. He not only dares, he wants. To see this through, to learn more about this man, to take a crazy chance. His heart is pounding with the force of his desire. And once, just once in his studious, conservative life, he listens to it.
He smiles at Hua Cheng, lifts one hand to the railing of the staircase, and begins to ascend.
#hualian#hualian fic#hualian au#tgcf#tgcf fic#tgcf au#heaven official's blessing#heaven official's blessing fic#stuff tippy wrote
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More Than This
Modern AU where famous actor HC and landscaper XL meet through a dating app. HC had a reputation of being a massive flirt who bedded people left and right, which wasn’t completely wrong–just blown out of proportion. His partners were usually other celebrities who mutually swore to keep their mouths shut in the preservation of their own images.
When HC received a message on the dating app asking about the brand of the wristwatch he wore in his profile pic (which only showcased his hands), the other user hoping to purchase a cheaper, similar style for his friend’s birthday, HC responded for the first time since downloading the app.
What could he say? The other man was gorgeous and if he were simply asking just to slide into HC’s DMs, the actor wasn’t opposed.
Turns out XL asked out of genuine curiosity. FX’s birthday was still a month away. Why XL thought about gifting him a watch similar to the one the stranger wore when XL should’ve been paying attention to the sheer strength those large hands seemed to possess was beyond him.
The name in the bio read: San Lang. The few pictures that were displayed on his profile were minimalistic yet downright sexy. XL blinked in wonder as he typed out another message, hoping to continue the conversation.
Two weeks after chatting back and forth through the app, XL asked if he could meet HC in person. The actor pondered this for a grand total of thirty seconds before agreeing to meet. XL seemed like a sincere character, someone who put other peoples’ comfort above any task at hand–if his emoticon overkill and frequent check-ins with HC were anything to go by.
HC figured he’d cross the bridge once XL recognized him as a well-loved actor starring in the hottest films in the media.
Except when HC arrived in his expensive jeep that screamed wealth, dressed in appropriate clothes for a hike with a baseball cap concealing his features from far away, XL did not have an aha! moment.
“Hello, San Lang! It’s me, Xie Lian,” XL waved as he bounced his way over. “I hope the ride up the mountain wasn’t too scary. You get used to it once you begin visiting more often. Thank you for meeting with me today.”
“It’s no problem at all. Nice to meet you, Xie Lian,” HC greets, guiding them away from his car as soon as he locks the doors, not wanting to draw any onlookers’ attention.
XL gives him a kind smile, adjusting the clasp of his bamboo hat. He explains that there are three main trails and he was thinking they could take the medium-level route. Judging from his white work-out T, jean shorts, and hiking boots, HC deduces that XL spends much time outside, even when he’s not gardening for his clients.
“Lead the way, Gege,” HC says, the title naturally falling from his lips. In XL’s dating profile, his age read thirty-two, just under three years older than HC. (This was followed by a dozen tree, flower, and water emoticons.)
“Okay! Onwards.”
Following their initial meeting, HC met up with XL numerous times after, attracted to XL’s mellow and eccentric personality. Whenever it was XL’s turn to plan their time together, he brought HC to different places each time. National parks, plant nurseries, museums–places that could be considered unconventional compared to the standard meetups from dating apps.
HC’s fondness for XL only grew because of this.
Their chemistry flourished in the bedroom as well, both HC and XL eager for giving and receiving pleasure. In addition to being fuckbuddies, they quickly developed a wholesome friendship that HC never saw coming.
But then again, this was XL. Once HC got a taste, his infatuation with the landscaper shouldn’t be surprising. HC stopped seeing his other speed dials after he met XL.
One of their nights ended by watching a film, XL mentioning off-handedly how he doesn't keep up with pop culture–including popular films–but his friend SQX had begged XL to watch this one. Of course, this had to be a film HC was in, one of his most recent projects. There was no avoiding the impending reveal.
They sit side-by-side on XL’s lumpy couch, watching the movie when XL gasps as the antagonist comes into view.
That is his San Lang! On the screen!
When XL pokes HC on the bicep, asking why the actor hadn’t told him, HC simply says that “My fame isn’t important to who I am.”
To HC’s surprise, XL accepts the answer without protest, nodding.
“San Lang is San Lang, who happens to be a marvelous actor,” XL solemnly says, flashing HC a delighted smile. HC hums in content, subtly repositioning his arm so it rested on the back of the couch, curling around XL’s shoulders.
Except after the movie ended and a google search later, XL finds out that San Lang isn’t San Lang after all.
“Should I call you Hua Cheng from now on? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’ve been calling you the wrong name for three months now-” XL rushes out, guilt painted across his face.
“Gege, it’s fine. I used it as an alias for my profile to protect my identity,” HC explains. He reaches forward to tuck a long strand of XL’s hair behind his ear. “Besides, I quite like it when you call me San Lang.”
“Really?” XL sheepishly asks.
“Really.”
From that moment on, HC and XL clicked perfectly, learning more about each other when time permitted them to meet up. XL felt a little foolish for not knowing who HC was as a celebrity. But like HC said, his fame did not define him as a person, which XL clearly saw from the playful way he held himself when there were no cameras around.
HC matched XL’s enthusiasm in whatever activity they were doing, even if it was something XL’s previous partners couldn’t care less about. Eight months into their arrangement, XL finally admitted to himself that he had deep feelings for HC.
While they had great chemistry as friends, XL selfishly wanted more.
But how could XL ask for something more? They already agreed to keep things casual, to remain as friends who used each other to release their sexual urges. It didn’t matter how delicate HC cleaned XL up or always ran him a bath after their climaxes. It didn’t matter how HC always set out his clothes for XL to stay the night. And it didn’t matter how close HC held onto him as they slept.
XL was simply a landscaper with a passion for nature and helping others. He wasn’t built for the limelight. He was barely in the loop with societal trends, and only recently began watching the latest movies with HC–many of which HC himself acted in.
Frankly speaking, HC could have anyone he wanted. XL was the one who should be grateful HC even sought him out a second time.
XL is thirty-three now. He wanted to find someone to settle down with, to spend the rest of his life with, falling deeper in love with every single day. He was not sure HC, who was just entering his thirties and continuing to make a name for himself, would want something like that with someone like XL.
Even when every one of HC’s actions alluded that he truly cared for XL, XL had learned that hope was a dangerous thing to mindlessly cling to. XL has had past partners come into his life, then leave him like he was nothing, like none of him was worth staying for. XL didn’t think he could bear it if HC became just another name on that list.
Furthermore, XL didn’t want to put HC or his career on spot, nor put his heart in a position where it was bound to be broken.
As XL grappled with his perceived one-sided feelings, HC only allowed himself to yearn when laying on the bed in his penthouse. It was much larger than XL’s bed. It was also much lonelier.
HC was unable to grant XL the verbal confirmation of where they stood, held back by the weight of his status, which had always been his selling point alongside his hypersexualized image. Not only did HC not want to risk pressuring XL into pursuing a relationship with a celebrity, but somewhere deep inside, HC didn’t believe XL could want him for who he is–even after the year and a half they’ve known each other.
Much of HC’s self-worth had come from his accomplishments as an actor, untouchable yet fantasized by the public. Peeling back all the layers he hid behind, HC saw his true self as too ugly, damaged, and undesirable; phrases many people in his past have spat to his face, including his parents.
In HC’s mind, he had already tied XL down to their routine no-strings-attached meet-ups. While HC savored every moment he spent with XL, he didn’t want to further intrude on XL’s simple life and have the other man resent him in the end.
《II》
(Thanks to @no-one-says-hi for helping)
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#hualian#hualian au#xie lian#hua cheng#modern au#cerdrabbles#TBC#I love them so much#they love each other too#they just need to confess uwu
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A Ring for a Ring, a Sweet for the Sweet (Fic, TGCF, HC/XL)
Title: A Ring for a Ring, a Sweet for the Sweet
Series: Heavenly Official’s Blessing (Tian Guan Ci Fu)
Pairing: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian
Summary:
Just as Hua Cheng once gave him a ring to pledge him his life, Xie Lian gives Hua Cheng a ring to pledge him his hole.
Link: AO3
Read on Tumblr!
--
Xie Lian was going into this birthday prepared. He had a plan in his head, a wish in his heart, and many thoughts cursing his dick.
--
This plan, this wish, this curse; it all started one fateful morning about a month ago. You see, the married life came with innumerable pleasures, and one of these was the comfort of a regular morning routine. Summarized, and truncated for length, it went a little like this:
Step 1: Wake up.
Step 2, Scenario A: San Lang pretending to be asleep, and refusing to break character until Xie Lian provided anywhere between seven to ten morning kisses.
Step 2, Scenario B: San Lang already awake, and distributing morning kisses to Xie Lian’s lips, neck, cock, and other such body parts that would benefit from the application of his tongue.
Step 3: The irrepressible cosmic consequence of either scenario outlined above.
Step 4, Scenario A: San Lang big spoon.
Step 4, Scenario B: Xie Lian big spoon.
Step 5: Helping each other wash, dress, and get ready for the day.
With Step 1 through Step 4, Scenario B completed, Xie Lian was helping his husband get ready before he had to scurry off to do a few errands. Check on the vegetable garden at the shrine, draw up a few new charms, pop over to the village’s market to see if there were any deals on, put an end to the demon who’d taken up residence in the hills two towns over and who was demanding maiden sacrifices…Xie Lian of course would answer the cries of those in need, but he did wonder, at times, why people were calling upon the God of Scrap-Collecting to slay evil (or at least rough up evil, followed by a stern talking-to). Shouldn’t they be calling upon him for blessings in happening upon excellent and thrifty finds? Ah, well. Always in service of the people.
The lacquered black comb sank thickly into Hua Cheng’s hair, and slid through like a ship through water. Silver chimed with the motions of Xie Lian’s arm. Lately, he’d taken to warming up Hua Cheng’s silver accessories before helping his husband put them on…underneath his sleeping robe, against his bare skin, he was currently sporting one of Hua Cheng’s heavy necklaces and silver belts. Xie Lian never liked the initial cold shock of jewelry against his skin when he was young; brief as the feeling was before his body heat warmed the metal, it was a petty annoyance he always dreaded each morning while still cranky and disoriented from sleep. His poor San Lang had no such respite, with his body’s ghostly chill. Thus, Xie Lian wanted to save his husband such an unpleasantness before a long day of managing his city.
There was, of course, the minor matter that Hua Cheng tended to wear quite a lot of accessories. (And he seemed to only be expanding this tendency after Xie Lian took up the warming habit.) After the necklace and belt were taken care of, he still needed to warm up the bracelets and rings (unthinkable to wear those while tending to San Lang’s beautiful hair), then the earrings and hair accessories, and then the vambraces; these were tricky, and required one-on-one attention. The silver butterflies nesting within the vambraces got excited very easily when Xie Lian touched their home, and if he wasn’t careful, he’d have an armful of butterflies and no vambrace to warm up.
Xie Lian could very easily spend the whole day at this, though his schedule didn’t allow it. Distracted by the movement of the comb through Hua Cheng’s hair, distracted by the low sounds of pleasure Hua Cheng made when Xie Lian absently ran his fingers through the strands, Xie Lian reached out to fumble for one of the many nearby jewelry boxes. Rings, San Lang did need rings to wear with his choice of ensemble today…
Xie Lian’s questing hand came back with a ring; that it was a ring was no question. But…Xie Lian’s brow furrowed as he examined it, turning it this way and that, the silver glinting in the bedroom light. Beautiful, with delicate engravings of blooming flowers across its surface, the quality silver thick and heavy in his palm. But this ring was much too large for his San Lang’s elegant, slender fingers, was it not? Though Xie Lian’s hands were smaller, they weren’t that much smaller, and he could fit both his thumbs inside it easily…
“Gege,” Hua Cheng purred, allowing his hair to fall over his shoulder in an alluring and altogether deliberate manner. “Did you find something you’d particularly like to see me in today?”
Hua Cheng’s gaze fell on the ring that Xie Lian was examining, and his confident, sly expression dropped all at once. His hand twitched, then fisted in his robes; as if he wanted to snatch away the ring but didn’t dare do so. Xie Lian blinked, confused.
“Is this a ring that San Lang wears while in a different skin?” Xie Lian asked. “It’s lovely, but seems much too big for San Lang’s…fing…er…”
Xie Lian trailed off, and the truth of the matter took root in his mind as his cheeks began to burn with a familiar heat. And oh, did those roots find eager and fertile soil.
Now, Xie Lian was inexperienced in bedroom matters, this much was true. But he was not stupid, and he also knew what his husband’s dick looked like at this point. This ring was indeed too large for Hua Cheng’s slender and elegant fingers. But it was just the right size to fit around the base of Hua Cheng’s thick, heavy cock.
“Your Highness,” Hua Cheng croaked. “This one apologizes for leaving such an item in—”
“This is a cock ring,” Xie Lian murmured, as if in a trance state, approaching a level of enlightenment not yet seen.
Hua Cheng’s physical form briefly flickered; hearing His Highness say such words so bluntly, with such an irresistibly flushed face, was very much like being struck by a divine force, staggering in its power. He took a deep breath to regain control of himself, and nodded.
“Yes,” Hua Cheng admitted. “This one is much ashamed to not be able to please His Highness as he deserves, on some nights. I crafted such a crude instrument in hopes that it would help with control, but it still is not up to the task, nor is it worthy of the honor of being used in His Highness’ bed…”
Xie Lian was brought back to reality long enough to refute such a self-abasing statement.
“San Lang always pleases me!” Xie Lian stated firmly. It wasn’t always about lasting for hours! It was about both of them enjoying the experience! First off, his San Lang lasted a perfect amount of time; secondly, even when he did come too fast, it just meant that Xie Lian had that much more come in him, and one of Xie Lian’s primary goals in his immortal life now was to be filled with as much of Hua Cheng’s come as physically possible. And if Xie Lian had to wait hours each time before Hua Cheng would finally come inside…
…but perhaps it was about the challenge. This was something a (formerly) martial god could understand. This was something that could overcome Xie Lian’s shyness, could reach deep within him and seize him by the heart and make him rise to the occasion. The buildup of his husband’s frustration and need, the challenge of overcoming the restriction of the ring, of riding Hua Cheng and filling him with so much pleasure that he would burst forth and break through – just as Hua Cheng had once done to free him from the bonds of his cursed shackles. (But like, with less dying afterwards. And with waaaaaay more come filling up Xie Lian’s insides.) Yes. Yes, this was a challenge Xie Lian was ready to help his San Lang face. They would do it together.
“I’m going to borrow this,” Xie Lian said. “Is that okay?”
“…as it pleases His Highness,” Hua Cheng replied, with no little confusion.
He’d find out soon enough.
--
Xie Lian worked tirelessly, during every free moment, to perfect this most important of spiritual relics: the Incorruptible Chastity Cock Ring. Although last year’s birthday present proved that his sewing skills left something to be desired (and his dear, sweet husband still insisted on wearing that ridiculous belt any chance he got), his metalworking skills, again, proved much more polished. Polished enough to make this ring even more of a sight to behold.
He’d amassed enough followers, and enough donations, to permit him to spend on sourcing quality metal for the project – he of course would not dip into Hua Cheng’s own art supplies, nor his purse. Though both were open to him at all times, that was hardly the spirit meant for a birthday gift! And thus, with silver that was not dug up out of his own grave this time, he’d set to work.
The expertly engraved ring now sported four fine silver chains, from which many chiming seed-shaped silver beads dangled. These silver chains were meant to drape alluringly across Hua Cheng’s muscular thighs and lean hips, and chime with every movement. The chains could be attached to any of Hua Cheng’s silver belts, which Xie Lian considered a very clever foresight on his own behalf. It would be very convenient, this way. (Though it would, of course, mean that a bit of warming up would be needed before he could dress San Lang for the occasion.)
The day of Hua Cheng’s birthday came, and the rush of adrenaline that was warding off Xie Lian’s shyness was beginning to wear off. What was he doing, presenting his husband with such a gift!? My darling, my one and only, my San Lang, here’s a cock ring that you made yourself because you come too fast in bed. Happy birthday! But Xie Lian tried to remember the goal here, the challenge, the pursuit of excellence. Those who ascended were ones who were capable of seeing beyond the limits of what was thought impossible. And Xie Lian so loved dressing Hua Cheng up before a hard day of work.
The moment the midnight hour struck, Ghost City was bright with cheers and fireworks. When Hua Cheng next stepped out of his residence, he would be greeted with a thousand congratulations and well-wishes:
Lord Chengzhu, happy birthday!
Great Lord Mayor, happy eight-hundred-twenty-third! If’n I could count that high, I’d lop off the hands of eight hunn’erd twenny third sinners and deck these streets with ‘em!
What a waste of hands! Ya know you can fry those up, doncha!? Or sell them to tourists!
And an occasion such as this calls fer decadence! Like scattering hands all over the streets!!
But, for now, Xie Lian had Hua Cheng all to himself.
“San Lang,” Xie Lian whispered into his ear, before kissing it. “Happy birthday. Would you like to open your present?”
Such an offer was a surefire way to get Hua Cheng to stop pretending to be asleep. In an instant, Xie Lian was tackled onto his back on the bed, and pinned in place by the press of Hua Cheng’s lean body and the insistent lips against his own.
“Gege is too kind,” Hua Cheng sighed between kisses. “Too generous. For days I’ve been thinking of nothing but the birthday dinner you promised me, and now gege is telling me that he’s got more gifts up his sleeves?”
Seizing upon the opportunity provided by the wording, Hua Cheng’s greedy hands snuck up the sleeves of Xie Lian’s sleeping robes, squeezing and groping at his arms as he went. The right idea, but the wrong direction…
“It’s…um…” Xie Lian trailed off, his cheeks flaring red. He had a planned script for this. Something about a ring for a ring, sweets for the sweet. The lines were lost to him now. But the intent certainly was not.
Slowly, shyly, Xie Lian slid a hand down the front of his own robes. Hua Cheng’s eye followed the movement raptly, and his touch grew heavier on Xie Lian’s bicep. Taking a moment to steel his courage, Xie Lian ran his fingers along the tie of his robe once, twice, before tugging at it to loosen it and let his robes slip open.
“I wanted to make sure it was warm enough for San Lang to wear comfortably,” Xie Lian explained softly.
Silver glinted through the part of his robe. One of Hua Cheng’s silver belts hung around Xie Lian’s hips, flush against his bare skin. Chiming silver chains dangled from it, leading the eye downward to where they joined at that thick, heavy engraved silver ring. It really was much too big for one’s finger, and still a bit too big for Xie Lian’s own cock. He feared it looked a bit silly – even half-hard as he was, it was clear that there was no way he’d fill it out. Of course, Hua Cheng would have no trouble.
Hua Cheng stared openly, blatantly; hungrily and open-mouthed. His grip on Xie Lian’s bicep was bruising.
“…Your Highness,” he eventually managed to say. His voice was low and raw enough to send a shiver through Xie Lian’s limbs, to make those silver beads chime with the motion of his bare legs sliding against the silk sheets. “Your graciousness knows no bounds. This humble follower doesn’t deserve such a magnificent gift.”
Xie Lian took Hua Cheng’s face in his hands, cradled his cheeks between his palms. He leaned in to press a kiss between Hua Cheng’s brows.
“My husband,” he murmured against Hua Cheng’s skin, his breath warm. “Deserves many such magnificent things.”
The kiss that followed was deep and slow, and full of a wet heat that took Xie Lian from half-hard to fully rigid. The ring still slid off with ease, though Hua Cheng’s fingers were so careful and gentle and slow in their ministrations to remove it that Xie Lian could have cried (or laughed, really) in frustration. Hua Cheng was equally slow and deliberate while undoing the belt tied around Xie Lian’s waist, taking his time, dipping his fingers underneath the belt while he worked to feel the heat radiating off Xie Lian’s abdominals.
“San Lang,” groaned Xie Lian.
Hua Cheng chuckled weakly, and kissed Xie Lian’s throat in recompense. “Gege’s patience is appreciated. I have to wait for my blood to cool before I can wield his gift.”
Xie Lian blinked, curious. “Oh? Is that how it works? Much ashamed, I’ve not much experience. But that does make sense, considering the intent…”
It was Hua Cheng’s turn to groan, and he punctuated it with a dramatic collapse into the pillows next to Xie Lian’s head.
“Gege is not helping with the blood cooling,” Hua Cheng grumbled, with affection clear in the accusation.
“My sincerest apologies,” Xie Lian replied, not sorry at all.
It took some long, painfully and deliciously slow minutes – drawn out by their refusal to stop kissing for the duration – before Hua Cheng’s cock softened enough to slide the ring on. Xie Lian, too, went slowly, carefully, guided by Hua Cheng’s slightly-trembling fingers and the glide of oil to ease any discomfort. When the work was done, Xie Lian squirmed out from under Hua Cheng to survey his handiwork.
His San Lang looked so lovely. The sheen of the oil on his cock, the glinting silver decorating the thick base and draping artfully across his strong thighs. The delicate chimes looked ticklish against his balls; Xie Lian reached out a hand to brush his knuckles against the velvety soft skin there and was rewarded by a delicious groan and squirm.
Oh, before he forgot…there was indeed one more surprise that Xie Lian had for the birthday boy. When he’d set to work on this precious spiritual tool, he’d added some features...
Xie Lian traced both hands along the silver chains, and they shivered with spiritual energy. Hua Cheng wore a priceless expression of shock on his face for a brief moment as he felt the pulse of energy, but had no further opportunity to react before the cock ring itself pulsed once, twice, thrice, more. It continued to pulse around Hua Cheng’s cock in time with the racing beat of Xie Lian’s heart. With each pulse, Hua Cheng’s hips jerked upward involuntarily; with each jerk, those silver chimes rang melodiously. Hua Cheng’s mouth hung open wordlessly, his eye glazed with pleasure that stole his sight and sense.
Very convenient, indeed. Xie Lian could probably just leave him like this and go about his daily errands, secure in the thought that his husband would be waiting for him in bed at home, desperate for relief after hours of tension that threatened to snap him in two. But that wouldn’t be particularly kind to do to him today. The birthday boy would have his release in due time, with only as much teasing as Xie Lian could bear.
“Did I warm it up well enough for San Lang’s comfort?” Xie Lian asked, stretching himself out along Hua Cheng’s side as he jerked and twitched. He stroked his palm along Hua Cheng’s lovely pectorals, down his stomach. He pressed the back of his hand to the silver belt to test its temperature. Xie Lian hmmed thoughtfully and moved to toy with one of the silver chains. “I suppose it’s still a bit chilly. Will you ever forgive me?”
“H…Hhh-highne…ssss…” Hua Cheng managed to slur out, then let out an animalistic moan as the pulses around his cock grew in intensity. Xie Lian made a comforting noise, and kissed Hua Cheng’s temple soothingly. His poor San Lang. It couldn’t be helped; the cock ring’s pulses were tied to Xie Lian’s heartbeat, and there was no controlling that when he was with Hua Cheng.
Xie Lian decided, there and then, that it was time to test the integrity (and the Incorruptible Chastity) of this spiritual artifact. He’d prepared himself before waking Hua Cheng; he thanked himself profusely for this foresight, as he doubted he had the patience to do it now and could hardly ask Hua Cheng to do all the work today. He already had enough to deal with right now.
Hua Cheng’s hands, previously fisted in the silk bedsheets in a vain attempt at controlling himself, flew to seize Xie Lian’s waist as Xie Lian moved to straddle him. Any protests died in his throat as the tip of his cock pressed into Xie Lian’s entrance, already warm and willing and ready. Xie Lian sighed in relief at the stretch and the fullness, and bounced and wriggled his hips until Hua Cheng’s cock was in him fully. He could feel the slight coolness of the silver ring against the rim of his hole, could feel the pulsations of the ring inside and out. Xie Lian gave a full-body shiver, and almost absentmindedly lifted the crystal ring around his neck up to his lips to kiss. The gesture grounded him, it soothed him, it—
“Your Highness…”
The warning growl of that title came too little, too late. Driven mad by the beat of Xie Lian’s heart and the burning heat of his body, Hua Cheng’s grip on Xie Lian’s waist became completely ungentle. His fingers gripped with bruising force, and he bounced Xie Lian on his cock with harsh, fast motions; endlessly chasing a release that would not come, to the tune of chiming silver chains. He pounded as deep into him as he could reach, and seemed as if he could hardly stand having even an inch of him not inside. It was all Xie Lian could do to hold onto Hua Cheng’s shoulders, to hold himself steady even as his thigh muscles began to burn with the strain, to let Hua Cheng fuck into him and use his body as a tool for his pleasure.
The first time Xie Lian came, it only left him hungry for more. The fifth time left him lying limp and slack, sprawled on his back as Hua Cheng’s cock continued to relentlessly fuck him, in and out, with no signs of stopping or slowing. Xie Lian’s insides ached to be soothed by the rush of Hua Cheng’s come. After the eighth time, with his face now pressed into a pillow and Hua Cheng’s cock still tirelessly pumping his prone body, chimes still jingling as brightly and eagerly as they had at the start, Xie Lian himself began to beg for that as well.
“S-s-sssan Lang…” Xie Lian could hardly get the words out, his tongue felt thick and heavy and useless in his mouth. “S-san Lang, need…need it…”
Hua Cheng moaned against Xie Lian’s neck, and briefly paused in his efforts to cover every inch of it with bite marks and hickies. His mouth moved to Xie Lian’s ear; biting it once before he spoke into it, sounding rich and low and just as wrecked as Xie Lian.
“Anything His Highness needs, anything, anything, I’ll give it – mnnnhh, mmm – oh, Your Highness, Your Highness is so good to me, so good to this San Lang…mmh, feels so perfect inside, does it feel as good for gege? Is he ready to come again for me?”
Xie Lian let out a desperate moan as Hua Cheng expertly adjusted his angle to aim his thrusts against that spot inside of him. He wouldn’t last much longer, he wouldn’t, he couldn’t, and he didn’t think he’d be able to stay conscious for round ten. And Hua Cheng still hadn’t come even once inside of him – Xie Lian could endure many hardships, but this was too much, too much!
“San Lang! I want it, I want that!” Xie Lian wailed with the desperation of a dying man. “Ah-ahhhh, I need it, I need you to give it all to me, please, please, won’t you please – ohh! Please, please have mercy, San Lang-gege, please have mercy and fill me up…”
Xie Lian’s heart was racing like a parade drum. He could only imagine the mayhem being wrought upon his husband’s dick by the cock ring’s enchantment. But he trusted his husband – he trusted him to break through, break through with him and see the limits of the highest heavens –
Hua Cheng let out a shout and a shockwave of spiritual energy strong enough to blow back the curtains on the bed, and released into Xie Lian enough come that Xie Lian felt his stomach grow taut with it. He felt his eyes roll back into his head, and let himself pass out midway through his ninth orgasm.
His conscious mind swam back after some time, and he found himself bundled against Hua Cheng’s strong chest. Morning was just breaking outside the window, but today was a day for sleeping in. Xie Lian breathed in his husband’s scent and let himself be lulled back to sleep. He still had to make that birthday dinner today, and needed to regain his strength.
--
“Oh? Did something happen out here?”
While things were stewing, Xie Lian needed to make a quick run to the market to pick up some supplies he’d forgotten. Outside of Paradise Manor, he found Yin Yu with a broom, sweeping a path through the severed hands that had been scattered on the road outside. If Xie Lian were to make a rough estimate, there were approximately eleven hundred sixty-seven of them. There was also a crudely written banner hung in the blossoming trees on the roadside, that read: HAPPAY BARTH DAY LARD CHENGZHU.
“They do try, don’t they?” Xie Lian said to Yin Yu, fondly. “Once I’m back from the market, I’ll help you clean up out here.”
“They do try,” Yin Yu agreed. “And no, no, Your Highness has business to attend to.”
Xie Lian smiled and gave a grateful bow. “Your Highness Yin Yu is welcome to join us for dinner. I’ll save some stew for him! Please don’t hesitate to drop by later.”
Yin Yu watched as Xie Lian expertly stepped around the hands littering the streets, then disappeared into the bustle of the Ghost City market. He gave a deep, resigned sigh and returned to sweeping.
--
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TGCF Book 3 Reaction pt.3 - Wind Master’s Self-Designated Quest & The Events that Happen After
I am back again with reactions & comments for when I read book 3.
This is honestly fun for me because I can look back at what I read and remember my first reaction to everything. I can also see how things connect to make up each arc by going back and reading them.
I really want to start book 4, but completing this first so I compose myself and not be a mess of emotions reading it. Cause, any book that is mainly about Xie Lian’s past is bound to be filled with angst and possible tears for the guy.
Ch 102: The Love for All Seasons Stew, the stew Xie Lian made and Shi Qingxuan is enthusiastically wanting to try some, shares with Ming Yi. Hua Cheng eats it like nothing and gives Xie Lian feedback
- Me: Ah, RIP Shi Qingxuan and Ming Yi. It was nice knowing you two.
Start of the Venerable of Empty Words
Ch 103: The stew knocks out Ming Yi and sends Shi Qingxuan to tears. Then Shi Qingxuan hallucinates
- Me: You know, by this point Xie Lian should have his own warning label to prevent this from happening in the future. What if he made something for Jun Wu and kills him with his cooking? Actually, that sounds pretty funny. This just in: Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu defeated by a plate of questionable food made by his favorite Heavenly Official, Xie Lian.
103: Shi Qingxuan tells a horror story. Xie Lian feels a cold breeze and discovers it’s made by SQX.
- Ah, I think I’m understanding more that Heavenly Officials are really eccentric. Especially the upper court.
Xie Lian casually mentioning he has encountered a Venerable of Empty Words in the past and how that ghost left him after staying with the fallen god for almost a year.
- Me: *sobs* Xie Lian.
Wind Master talking about his past before ascension and then post ascension
- Me: Okay, but did you actually ascend?
Learns about Heavenly Calamities
- Me: Well, that will surely be relevant in the future.
105: Investigating for the Ghost. Learns that from a tampered list that Hua Cheng killed vengeful, malevolent tyrants
- Me: Hua Cheng, who else have you killed? How the fu-dge is it that you are more productive than Heavenly Officials in making sure nothing bad happens?
As the group was going to leave, Xie Lian remembers the kids (& Qi Rong).
Hua Cheng: I have already called a babysitter. Don’t worry about a thing Gege.
106: The group was teleported to the wrong place.
- Me: Well, aren’t things starting out just lovely.
Hua Cheng changed clothes and Xie Lian Noticed.
Hua Cheng & Xie Lian exchange verbal communication passwords. Hua Cheng’s password has Xie Lian blushing.
- Me: WHAT IS IT?
Xie Lian’s password: “Just recite the Ethics Sutra a thousand times.”
- Me: ...Is that a joke? Xie Lian, if they actually had to recite that, it’s like saying you don’t want people to talk to you.
Xie Lian’s password is revealed to be just that phrase. He set it up as a joke
- Me: goddamnit. I have been bamboozled.
Learning about the legend of the Potential Scholar He, who was mad smart but got a lot of people wanting to crush him out of jealousy. He died after getting his revenge against those who were gatekeeping him.
- Me: HI! WHERE IS THE SHRINE FOR THIS GUY. I NEED A SHRINE TO WORSHIP SCHOLAR HE AS WELL AS A CERTAIN DIANXIA AND HUA CHENGZU
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng now have to play Mafia in a four man group.
Ch 108: A game to sniff out the Word Ghost. The game reminds me of the Japanese Game, King’s Game.
- Me: Is there a Chinese equivalent to the King’s Game?
SQX -’king’- Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have to strip each other. Just one layer
- Me: If this was me to my crush, I would be weirded out to do this in front of my friends. Unless if I was drunk
SQX to Hua Cheng (from the book): “What’s the worse suffering in the world?”
Hua Cheng: “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet unable to do anything. That’s the worse suffering in the world.”
- Me: (ToT) Hua Cheng. I got to mark this down. Hua Cheng’s beloved and him need their happy ending.
Ming Yi to Xie Lian: “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”
Xie Lian: “My Second Ascension.”
- Me: !!! Xie Lian, what the F*CK happened during the shortest ascension recorded in Heaven?
Ch 109: Hua Cheng lends Xie Lian a ‘bit’ of spiritual power. Xie Lian does a palm thrust and blows off the roof of the temple.
- Xie Lian & Me: ...Hua Cheng, that’s a little bit?
Hua Cheng: Was that not enough? I can lend you more.
Ch 110: Hua Cheng puts on a mini fashion show to Xie Lian in the middle of something important.
Xie Lian: *focus is pulled away to stare at Hua Cheng*
- Me: Okay. Cute, but please focus. There is a time and place for everything. Now is not the time!
Water Master is suppose to prepare for the third Heavenly Calamity. SQX is kidnapped
- Me: What if this is the third calamity? Having to save SQX from the Venerable of Empty Words?
Xie Lian wants to do a soul-shifting spell, but Hua Cheng is stopping him.
- Me: Hm, does Hua Cheng know something? That is suspicious.
Ch 111: Venerable of Empty Words says: “Don’t worry, with your eyes wide open, you will watch the person coming to seek you die before you!”
- Me: *Thinks of Hua Cheng for Xie Lian* Shit, it got to Xie Lian. I really hope this doesn’t happen in the future. Cause, it’s not like Hua Cheng can die by conventional means since his ashes are ***** - Safe
Wind Master is revealed to be wearing a lot of treasures and gems on their person
- Me: Why is Wind Master wearing all of that?
Soul-Shifting spell ends, Xie Lian hears Hua Cheng’s voice
- Oh shit. I think Hua Cheng is mad.
SQX: “This is the Terrace of Cascading Wine. It’s where I ascended”
- Me: Wait, SQX is one of the Four Famous Tales? The odd one that is like Qi Rong that is about a guy who ascended for just pouring wine?
Learns that Xie Lian was actually sleeping when he ascended.
- Which ascension did that happen at?
SQX is in hysteria after Shi Wudu grabs him. SQX was acting suspicious before then SWD arrived.
- Me: Wow, what happened to SQX? D-did he actually fail his Heavenly Calamity and this is part of the punishment? Do Heavenly Officials get an advance notice that they have a Heavenly Calamity they have to face? Or is he behaving like this because of the removal of all of those artifacts and jewels?
-----
Ch 113: Hua Cheng sent a step-litter, a step-litter that is very extravagant, to Xie Lian. Hua Cheng is giving Xie Lian a fancy carriage ride towards somewhere.
- Me: Wow. What an obvious sign that Hua Cheng has deep feelings for Xie Lian
The whole Step-Litter Scene of Ghost calling Xie Lian Hua Cheng’s ‘lady’ while he was in the Step-Litter and everything after until they drop Xie Lian off at Puqi Shrine
- Me: THIS NEEDS TO BE ANIMATED
Xie Lian’s new banner: “Return Babes through Miraculous Hands”
- No words
Hua Cheng helping Xie Lian do a task of working in the field. There is an indescribable tension that has been created through Xie Lian’s dense brain
- Me: Man, you can slice the tension with a sword and they still wouldn’t realize anything.
Xie Lian has a mysterious donor who filled his donation box with gold bars. He decides to return them
- Me: Yes, good for you Xie Lian. You do you.
The Drama between the Wind and Water Masters
- Me: You know, there is someone on YouTube who animated this part. I can now only visualize that while reading through my notes.
Earth Master forged his shovel to be his spiritual device. Ming Yi, Shi Qingxuan and Xie Lian travel through the tunnels dug by the Earth Master’s Shovel under Heaven
- Me: Wait, does this mean technically anything can be made into a spiritual device?
SQX can’t access his spiritual powers
- Me: shit. Did he actually fail a Heavenly Trial against Reverend of Empty Words?
The three are forced to dig and end up at Quan Yizhen’s palace with Pei Ming behind them
Pei Ming: QYZ, help me out and capture them
QYZ: *sees Xie Lian and remembers what he did for him during the Lantern Festival* - Grabs bed and throws it at Pei Ming- YEET!
Xie Lian tosses dice and the three end up at Puqi Shrine again. Xie Lian is greeted to the sight of a shirtless Hua Cheng finishing up some labour work with using E-Ming.
- Me: Is this going to be Xie Lian’s gay awakening? Will he finally acknowledge he has feelings for Hua Cheng?
Xie Lian immediately calms down and gets back into action
- Me: dang it!
The group, now with Hua Cheng, teleports to the Rain Master’s land. They exchange what they know and Xie Lian is drawing a very terrifying conclusion.
- Me: So, if there was a chart of the four famous tales compared to the four great calamities based on comparing their authenticity of tales
- Xie Lian Hua Cheng (They have to match somewhat)
- Princess who slit her throat White No-Face (Both have very little knowledge and seem very much bamf)
- General who broke his sword Black Water (Just vibes based on their names)
- Shi Qingxuan Qi Rong (Don’t really match the others, but are famous enough to get on the list)
Xie Lian connects the dots on Scholar He's name
- is that even possible?
Pei Ming arrives and then the group moves to Shi Wudu’s Heavenly Trial ground cause mortals are in danger. Their mission is to help the mortals and not get in the way of Water Master.
Hua Cheng changes into a fisherman outfit
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng share a tender moment with a steam bun. General Pei watches them
- Me: Oh? Pei Ming, what did you notice? Did you notice the potential ship between the two of them?
118: The ship somehow wandered into the Ship-Sinking Black Water’s territory.
- Me: Oh no. The drama.
--------
Alright, here seems good. The next part will be the Wind & Water Master Arc pt 2 (?). At least I think so since the Wind part was discovered and now it’s the Water part that’s next.
You know, I really wanted to comment on a bunch of other stuff. Especially the Hualian moments, but decided against it cause there are some things that should be read
#sunmay rambles#sunmay reads tgcf#sunmay reads tian guan cifu#sunmay reads heaven official's blessing#sunmay reads hob#tgcf#hob#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#hob spoiler#tgcf spoiler#book 3 spoilers#halfway through the wind and water master arc
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more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo
PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss
“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!
i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su
“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL
“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!
“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood
okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol
“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL
“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot.
The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.
“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities
“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?”
“I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to
LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....
“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN
“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real
BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!
“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian
“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up.
”Ol’ Pei, what a man!”
Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!
okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.
“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.
“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked.
“No,” Yin Yu replied.
Were they not?
It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed.
A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.”
Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3
“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.”
“Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked.
“We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night
jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal
awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(
“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....
okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh
“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said.
“It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems
xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind
hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/
xie lian, also oblivious: what?
hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous
xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is?
hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege
xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird
hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security
me: gay people smh
“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song
“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate?
Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger.
He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!”
“I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks
everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride
“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand
read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”
okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!
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TGCF Snakes On a Plane AU starring Ban Yue as an orphan with a collection of 3,000 snakes which she brings with her on a journey to an orphanage. General Ke Mo is the long-suffering pilot, Pei Ming is that asshole who hits on women, Pei Su is his biologist son who is embarrassed by his very existence. Eventually Pei Su helps Ban Yue in collecting all her precious snakes and putting them back in their containers.
Xie Lian feels his bad luck caused the snakes to break loose, but San Lang (who gave him his window seat and spent the whole flight flirting with him) insists the problem is the quality of the duct tape instead. Bc there was duct tape used on the boxes.... not the smartest idea but how else is an orphan going to load 3,000 snakes on a plane????
By the end of this experience, Xie Lian's Dad Instincts have been activated, Pei Su is ready to become Ban Yue's older brother, and Ke Mo (who has a secret fear of snakes) just wants to retire so he can leave this plane forever. By the end of it, Hua Cheng has bought several things online that Xie Lian mentioned he had to do without, and even put his info in Xie Lian's phone.
Ling Wen fixed the plane in midair because she used to be a mechanic, and since knowing practical stuff like engines helps her fix the plane she saves them enough to let Ke Mo land the plane. I feel like she wouldn't panic even if snakes are falling on her, so she probably fixed the engine wearing at least 3 snakes as a scarf. Any more snakes and she'd probably put them on the nearest item so she can move around.
Also by the end of it Ling Wen wants to keep her scarf snakes bc she likes having the company. Xie Lian wants to adopt one too, but only a snake that's going to grow up small. Hua Cheng immediately orders luxury snake cages, immediately trying to curry favor with him.
Jun Wu is an old grandpa and he offers to take some of the snakes until Ban Yue finds a home. He's only ever had dogs but he'll be damned if he can't learn.
At the start of the airplane ride, Feng Xin and Mu Qing fought for the window seat in front of Xie Lian, eventually Mu Qing won. Behind them Hua Cheng smiled and pointedly offered Xie Lian his window seat. He slipped his arm around Xie Lian's shoulders and the two bickering before only turned their heads around to glare at this rando for daring to make a move on their friend.
Hua Cheng was some rich kid who was saved from a concussion when a ball from a baseball game went flying towards him at high speeds. Little Xie Lian, who was also sitting nearby and had brought a glove, reached over and caught it. He gave it to Hua Cheng with a sigh, telling him to be careful from then on. Hua Cheng had asked his name, and Xie Lian had unwittingly told him. From then on, Hua Cheng tried to unsuccessfully gain Xie Lian's attention.
They had both gotten into the same college. Hua Cheng despaired in his first year, however, groaning hopelessly among the stacks. Xie Lian, who was scribbling a paper nearby, reached over and handed the last of his snacks to this random depressed person among the bookshelves. He was obviously hungry- his stomach confirmed that- yet he gave away the last of his food with some encouraging words and returned to writing.
He didn't know how many times Hua Cheng stopped by his dorm room, awed, reverent, yet kept away by the glares of Xie Lian's roommates. They knew their friend was gay, and they knew assholes would want to date him, so they did their best to keep him from meeting Hua Cheng.
Even the handwritten note thanking Xie Lian for saving him didn't seem adequate. Hua Cheng tore it up and flopped dramatically on his bed. He'd seen Xie Lian that morning and that was enough to inspire him to keep going.
When college was over, he went back to whatever his parents wanted him to do, but it wasn't enough. He kept checking on what Xie Lian would be doing, until finally he overheard Xie Lian excitedly telling Feng Xin and Mu Qing about the trip they were going to take. So Hua Cheng could only book a ticket on the same plane trip.
Mu Qing had the nerve to snark at Hua Cheng. "Break our best friend's heart, playboy, and we'll break your face."
"Believe me, you'd have to bring me back to life to kill me a fourth time if that ever happened," Hua Cheng just laughed.
"San Lang, you're so funny," Xie Lian murmured. "How would they find your soul the 2nd time, let alone the 4th??"
"I'd die several times over before breaking your heart Gege." Hua Cheng tossed him a red stress ball with silver butterflies on it making a pattern like the stitches on a baseball. Xie Lian caught it, tracing his fingers over that unique pattern.
"Here, keep this. It's my promise to you." He stretched, yawning, curling his hand around Xie Lian's shoulder, making him go red and shift awkwardly in surprise.
Throughout the whole plane ride, Xie Lian's getting hit on by this guy who he assumes is an Airplane Rando, but Hua Cheng is talking to him like they're already close. Maybe he's just a really forward person??
Behind them is this little kid who looks scared and uncertain. She is holding her favorite pet snake and looks terrified.
Xie Lian immediately lends her a dog-eared copy of his favorite book to cheer her up. He gives out crayons, coloring books, pencils- you name it. Ban Yue is having a grand old time, coloring flowers in while she tells Xie Lian about how she's bringing all her snakes with her. By this time the snakes are escaping their boxes, but haven't reached the cabin yet.
Ban Yue loves snakes because they're chill, great listeners, and she has someone to protect. Xie Lian tells her that's wonderful, and if her favorite snake is her only one.
By this point, the snakes have found the cabin's ventilation shaft. They are free from their cardboard prison and spread out to explore this large metal box.
Pilot Ke Mo hits some turbulence. Passenger Ling Wen, who was just flipping through engine forums, slams her laptop shut as she hears something go wrong with the plane. She makes her way to the attendant and whispers a plan as the plane's nose dips unsteadily.
Xie Lian buries his face in his hands. "I knew I shouldn't have gone on this trip! Now our plane is going to crash."
"Gege won't crash, I'll protect you with my body so you'll never hit the floor," Hua Cheng draws him to his chest and murmurs comfortingly.
"Shameless!"
"Too shameless!"
"Don't listen to them, Gege. They are jealous of our love~"
Xie Lian resists the urge to ask how he can fall in love with someone he doesn't even know, when he turns around and sees Ban Yue squinting at the vents.
She holds not just her favorite snake, but two now.
"That's funny, I could have sworn I only brought this one with me. How on earth could the others..."
Screams of anger and shouts of alarm echo throughout the plane. The flight attendant had let mechanic Ling Wen have a look at the airplane, and was then notifying pilot Ke Mo of the situation. Ke Mo agreed to make gentle spirals to slow their descent and give Ling Wen time to fix things. However, he wouldn't have anticipated a snake dropping into his lap so that he'd scream and lurch the whole plane forwards!!!
Screams echo throughout the cabin; other passengers must be feeling similarly.
Xie Lian takes all his luggage out of his bag and gives it to Ban Yue for collecting her snakes in. He then picks up the snake around his neck and drops it in there. Hua Cheng immediately offers to put Xie Lian's stuff in with his own stuff. Xie Lian is grateful.
Xie Lian and Ban Yue go down the aisle collecting snakes and apologizing to the over passengers. Jun Wu is deadpan handing over his snake and asks if he can keep it.
Ban Yue is shocked but shakes her head. These are her snakes, and she knows how to take care of them thank you very much.
They continue in this way until Xie Lian is bitten by a snake. Hua Cheng runs up immediately because he "wants to suck out the venom" but Xie Lian stops him by asking what's the point of Hua Cheng also ingesting it too.
"The point is that if anything happens to you, I won't forgive myself!"
Pei Su who has been calmly reading the newspaper this whole time, clears his throat. "Actually, it doesn't have the proper markings. This snake is not venomous."
Ban Yue's eyes lit up. A fellow snake expert?
Soon Pei Su is explaining to whoever is nearby what kind of snake has just landed on them. He joins the crew going down the aisle stuffing snakes into Xie Lian's bag. Eventually, they run out of bag and Ban Yue thinks to check the duct tape on her packaging... d*mn, did the duct tape get loose again?!? She'd have to check and see. A bad feeling for that mechanic arose within her.
Meanwhile in the cockpit, Ke Mo is hollering mad and shaking with fright. "I have HAD IT up to Here with these MOTHER F*CKING SNAKES on this MOTHER F*CKING PLANE!!!" as more and more of the snakes drop from the vents. He has truly tried to stop the plane from landing right away but his stress is mounting.
Meanwhile Ling Wen is fixing the plane while covered in snakes and completely unfazed abt it. She wipes sweat off her brow and pets the snakes hanging off her arms. A look of concentration crosses her face as she adjusts some more things. "Almost there..."
THANKS FOR READING SO FAR BUT IM REALLY FUCKING TIRED. I GOT OUT ALL MY IMPORTANT PLANNING THOUGHTS SO I MIGHT ORGANIZE THIS INTO A PROPER FIC IN THE FUTURE. STAY TUNED
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thoughts on 211-216 . it’s a super long post because i was pretty behind !
“Wait!” Shi Qing Xuan called out, “Hua Chengzhu says you tell those usel… those martial gods to hide themselves and heal on their own; you’d be seeking your own deaths if you try to break out under Jun Wu’s hands.”
ADGSG SQX ALMOST SAYING VERBATIM ‘USELESS GODS’ oh HC you really hate them hahahahaha
Shi Qing Xuan replied, “Uuhh, umm, that San Lang of yours looks really scary right now…
h- i’m slightly spooked that xl is crawling in this underground tunnel and notices he’s not alone no wonder hc is reaaaally concerned fdhhdh
No wonder RuoYe couldn’t fight back; it was scared of being tied into a dead knot the most. In the past, before it wised up it liked to wrap itself around mindlessly to play, and as it played it’d pile itself into a mess of dead knots, and it was Xie Lian who’d exasperatedly untie him every time. Later, it learned to be good, smarter, and had never knotted itself dead again.
oh..... 😔 haha when ur suici.de cloth is afraid of deathknots....i’m emo
Jun Wu continued, “You’ve come from a renowned household, an orthodox clan that never traversed the path of evil, raised and grew up in the sect, and was influenced since young that to ascend was the ultimate goal in life. A pursuit such as this is very difficult to give up. To fall to the ghost realm could only said to be a forced situation, an act borne of helplessness. Of course you’re not able to say you’re satisfied with the current position in the ghost realm, because it wasn’t what you wanted in the first place.”
Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…”
“I know.” Jun Wu said, “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu who died during banishment, am I right?”
“...Yes.” Yin Yu said, “So whether I’m satisfied with the current position, it’s all…”
aaaaaaaaaa the lore but yy bbaby don’t be tricked !!!!
Then, Yin Yu continued, “...BUT… But I only… I only wanted to just hate him, it doesn’t mean I have to hurt him. What’s that “should’ve been mine”? Other than natural talent, there is nothing that belonged to anyone from birth. OTHER PEOPLE’S POSSESSIONS, I DON’T WANT THEM!!”
Xie Lian’s eyes lit up and shouted, “WELL SAID!”
Yin Yu continued, “I do want to return to the heavens, I do want to be ranked in the top ten! BUT! If I didn’t manage all that on my own then it’s completely meaningless! I’m unlucky, I accept it! If I’m not as powerful as him, then at the very least I can admit I’m not as powerful as him!”
“ADMITTING THAT I CAN’T COMPARE IS NOT THAT HARD!”
oh god yy we don’t deserve you and you don’t deserve this 😔😔😔😔😔
“But… in the end, I… still think… it’s so unfair.” Yin Yu sobbed, “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I… wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But… I couldn’t even do that. It’s really… so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yi Zhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.”
Xie Lian comforted softly, “Your highness, you’ve already worked really hard. And, you’ve done very well. You’re already much, much better than most people.”
Yin Yu finally gave a small chuckle arduously, “Better than most people, huh?”
After he stopped, he sighed, and the sound of his last regret passed along with his soul as he mumbled, “But, I wanted to be a god…”
Xie Lian bowed his head deeply, “But, your highness Yin Yu, there is actually no god in this world…”
that shit hit different ,,,
He was gasping harshly, subconsciously covering his own neck and feeling that cursed shackle. A touch, and other than the cursed shackle, Xie Lian also felt something else.
It was a very thin, silver chain. It used to be cold, but because he’s worn it for so long, his body had already warmed it through. Hanging on the silver chain was a crystal clear ring.
After having felt it, Xie Lian’s shoulders immediately stiffened, and he gripped that ring tight. For some reason, his heart was pounding faster and faster, as if he had learned an incredible secret.
oh no did he figure out those are hc’s ashes ??? and right in front of the villain, what a dangerous situation... 😔
After two incense time later, before the Great Martial Hall, several figures finally appeared. They saw a lady cultivator in verdant robes riding a burly black ox, a sacred sword hanging on her waist, approaching languidly with several farmers following behind, each varying in sizes.
It was actually the Rain Master who had come!
MY QUEEN! SHE’S HERE! SHE’S HERE!
Hua Cheng hadn’t even walked over before Xie Lian had already forcefully glomped over.
This was a powerful glomp, and Hua Cheng actually wasn’t pushed back for a few steps by the force, not even a wobble. He only placed his hands on Xie Lian’s back, chuckling lightly without speaking.
DBFGMHM !? GLOMPED ????? ARE YOU FIVE ??? ;;; he’s just happy to see his mans after all this shit !
As they went, Hua Cheng’s vambraces shimmered silver, transforming into silver butterflies, and they gradually lost colour, hiding into the air. There were probably hundreds of thousands of wraith butterflies by now that were dispersed throughout the Heavenly Capital. Along the way, they’d suddenly go up or go down, abruptly hide or appear, perfectly dodging every patrolling guard.
ugh. kingue. perfection. you. UGH.
A short while later, Xie Lian dropped onto the edge of an eave and abruptly stopped, looking back at Hua Cheng seeming to be pensive. Seeing him stilled, Hua Cheng also stopped, “What is it? Have you noticed something?”
Xie Lian frowned slightly and nodded, and said pensively, “No. It’s just, it feels like this scene had played somewhere else before…”
oh my god. omh ym god mohmyohdojsohgs. HE FELT IT WAS FAMILIAR BECAUSE HE DOESN’T REALIZE HC IS WUMING AND THEY DID THE SAME THING ONCE IN YONG AN AAAAAAaaaaAAAAaaa
“Okay, you can now give me an order.”
Hua Cheng’s right hand was holding his left elbow while his left hand supported his chin, and he looked at Xie Lian, seeming to be thinking very seriously for a moment before he said, “Then, ge ge, my order is--”
A moment later came the anticipated command. Hua Cheng smiled happily, “--Let’s borrow some spiritual powers.”
Of course Xie Lian understood what he meant by “Borrow spiritual powers” and his head almost smoked. He quickly took off the robe and said, “It’s, it’s not this one!”
“Ah, what a shame. It’s not this one.” Hua Cheng lamented.
Xie Lian schooled his expression, “San Lang, you… this isn’t right. You have to be more serious, don’t give orders like these.”
LKHSAKJAJFSA I can’t believe hc is using the brocade immortal to get his dose of kisses out of xl LMAOOOOO
Then, he handed Xie Lian another set of robes. Xie Lian swiftly put it on and looked up again at Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng watched him for a moment, “Ge ge…”
A short moment later, he smiled widely, “Don’t borrow spiritual powers from me.”
“...”
He’s been careless! How could Hua Cheng do this!
Xie Lian hastily removed that robe, “OKAY! It’s not this one eith…” But Hua Cheng stopped him, “Wait, ge ge, who says it’s not this one? You haven’t proven it yet.”
“Don’t borrow spiritual powers from me” was Hua Cheng’s order. If Xie Lian was to prove the robe he was wearing right now wasn’t the Brocade Immortal then he must not obey Hua Cheng’s order. Which meant, he had to do the opposite thing -- “Borrow spiritual powers from Hua Cheng”.
Going around in circles and they came back to the same starting point! Xie Lian was shaken while staring at Hua Cheng’s serious face, “...That’s, you’re too cunning, you can’t do that.”
DALHJAKFGHSGKFKA ??!? WHA T A BRAT SHGSJGKS hc really, you’re in a hostile situation and trying to get attention--
Xie Lian didn’t know what to say to retaliate at all, and he raised his finger to point at him for a moment, “You... you, ah, I can’t win with you, stop playing around!” Then without any delay, he rushed up and “chu”-ed. Even though he knew there was clearly no one around, but after he’d done the deed he still looked around, as if cautious of anyone who might be peeping.
-ah!!! xl is so easily won over GOD SGSGSdfs soooo cute tho
Jun Wu could establish a ward within the Heavenly Capital, isolating everyone within the ward from the outside world, then naturally Hua Cheng could also create an even smaller ward, sealing the spiritual powers of those within and prevent them from communicating spiritually. A small ward within a larger war, in this moment, this side chamber had become a chest within a chest.
a dream, with a dream, within a -
“You had a chance to remove those cursed shackles.” Hua Cheng said, “Why did you keep those things to bind you?”
Xie Lian hadn’t expected he’d ask that question and was taken aback, “Maybe… it was to remind myself of some things.” He then said, “San Lang, don’t… don’t change the subject. What kind of bad habit is this? The situation just now, it’d be fine if you’d just hold me own, why did you have to take the blow yourself?”
However, Hua Cheng replied, “Ge ge, you knew this is a bad habit too? When it comes to taking a beating, you have no right to lecture me, you know.”
oh goodness this scene , though playful ,really hurts knowing hc is referencing all the shit xl went through in book 4 including being stabbed 100 times but xl thinks he’s referring to something more recent and purely theoretical 😔😔 xl really has no clue he is wuming....
whew, that was a LOT to get through and i’m terribly depressed now but at least there was some cute moments with hualian being stronger together and sillier too 😔😔😔
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T.F.T.A (I.H) III 《II》
Irodori – Hiroaki Tsutsumi
“I can touch up some patches of the walls that look washed out?”
“Uh, no you don’t have to-“
“-oh! And I can vacuum the carpets in the morning before work, during the day, and at night once everyone leaves so the floor will always be spotless-“
“No, really, that’s a bit much-“
“Does anything in your office happen to need dusting?“
HX sighs. This human never stops.
First, it is the food and drinks he delivers to the employees on each floor–without being asked to. His employees are filthy slobs when it comes to dealing with their customers as it is; the extra vacuuming would admittedly be appreciated. Though, HX has no complaints when XL personally brings him fresh coffee and pastries from the bakery on the corner.
Then, it is the excessive cleaning that has somehow become one of his biggest priorities, courtesy of XL. HX supposes this is what he needed a custodian for in the first place. But he can’t help but wonder how YY found a human who is so damn eager to be worked like a slave.
“Mr. Xuan, what cleaning fluid brand do you prefer the bathroom floors to be mopped with?” Xie Lian asked, still sitting in the lone chair in front of HX’s desk, one hour after he first entered. Here he was, going through a laundry list of sterilization questions while HX was still trying to process just how ugly the human’s work uniform was.
He’ll have to do something about that.
HX was, by no means, generous or fashionable. Hell, he currently had on all black–the inner and outer robes being different shades–and cheap sandals that exposed just how pale his skin was. He sported the same skull earrings since first getting his ears pierced, and he kept his hair back in a simple, low ponytail that felt like a rope of lead at times.
They surely must make quite a pair, like the dark and mysterious goth teen meets the wrongly-dressed happy-go-lucky old man. There is no doubt HX beat XL in age by a couple of hundred years, yet, XL somehow still gave off wise-beyond-his-years energy. A man who has seen and been through plenty of life’s obstacles.
Such fragile beings, humans were.
“Um, Mr. Xuan?” XL spoke up again when HX didn’t answer his twentieth question right away. “Is it alright if I call you that? Or should I call you Black Water?”
HX’s frown deepened, sincerely considering how XL should address him. It was not like XL knew the truth behind the title Black Water, and for that reason, it felt improper for the human to speak a name he was not aware held so much power.
“Mr. Xuan is fine,” HX says curtly.
“Oh, okay. Mr. Xuan it is.”
HX exhaled with thinning patience. He placed his elbows on the desk, preparing to shoo his new employee away so he could work in peace.
“You can just call me Xie Lian. I hope to be of the best assistance to you, Mr. Xuan,” XL adds quicker than HX can respond. “By the way, about those cobwebs surrounding the hallways lights-”
Seriously, was this guy out of his mind?
From XL’s perspective, he believes he hit the jackpot with this job. Not only is it incredibly low-stress compared to his previous hustles, but XL often finds himself to be most useful in keeping Black Water company. Yes, XL is aware HX strives to be as antisocial and non-confrontational as possible. And yes, a boss-employee relationship probably shouldn’t cross a certain line into the best friend zone.
But whenever HX happens to be nearby, and XL bounds over with a dozen updates on his work and random stories that he can’t help sharing, HX begrudgingly stays and listens.
“See? Doesn’t dusting make everything nicer to look at?“ XL questions with a sunny smile, gesturing to the bookshelves on one side of HX’s office. He was a quarter of the way through with this task when his boss walked in.
HX merely grunts, then plops down in a chair different from the one guests typically sit in. It appears to be a new addition to the room. In XL’s eyes, more furniture means more growth in self-care for one’s personal space. In this case, HX’s working environment.
Naturally, XL approves with a satisfied nod. He also can’t stop the next words from tumbling out of his mouth.
“By the way, I noticed your tastes in literature differ across many subjects: Folklore, politics, ocean science…”
HX raises an eyebrow at this comment.
“What about it?” he asks, a little blunt, a little curious.
XL continues dusting in between the shelves. He faces away from HX and is glad his boss can’t discern his nervous expression. XL knows he has his nosy moments, knows that he often unintentionally crosses others’ boundaries in order to connect, which irks people all the time.
Maybe this is one of those moments.
Still, XL wants to try.
“Do you want to tell me about them? I’m quite the avid reader myself, and some of these titles look positively compelling,” XL says, skimming a hand down the exquisite spine of one of the books. He turns his head just enough to sneakily eye HX’s reaction, who hasn’t changed his seating positions the last forty minutes.
HX’s arms remain crossed over his chest, staring straight ahead at the wall of bookshelves XL insisted on dusting and tidying. His obsidian eyes noticeably sharpen, jaw slightly relaxing.
HX doesn’t say anything for a long minute. One minute bleeds into two, and then three.
XL sighs, a bit disappointed. He doesn’t want to push HX’s limits, nor initiate conversation he is in no place to discuss. Quietly, XL turns his attention back to work.
But as XL squats down to straighten out some books on the lower shelf, the image of black robes gliding along the floor catches his eye.
HX walks to one of the middle bookcases, caressing his fingers along his vast collection until he pauses on a book with an emerald green cover and characters glimmering in gold. He plucks the novel out of its homely crevice, opening the cover to flick through the worn pages.
XL takes this as his cue to approach, waving around the feather duster in anticipation. HX shifts to show the human the open book, finger pointing to the section header.
“This one is a myth about a parasitic ghost who latches onto its host and feeds off of sadness, sorrow, despair,” HX explains slowly, deliberate with his words. XL’s mouth opens in an “oh” shape, expressing interest in his features.
HX brings the book closer for XL to see.
“It’s one of my favorite reads,” HX murmurs, focusing on the text. XL blinks in astonishment, feeling especially honored that HX shared this with him.
It has only been one month since XL started working at Paradise Deals, and despite HX’s “I don’t care” attitude when it comes to basically anyone ever, XL definitely considers them to be friends.
And that is honestly the most he could ever ask for.
“Then I’ll be sure to put it on the top of my list,” XL chirps, tapping the book with the duster.
The corner of HX’s mouth tugs upwards.
***
Flor y Sangre – Sophism, Isabella LeVan, A Million in Vermillion
One day, as XL rides the elevator up to the eleventh floor, it stops at the third floor first. The doors open to reveal a man with a green dress shirt tucked into black-and-white checkered pants. The same checkered-patterned suit jacket hangs loosely over his shoulders.
The man’s dark hair is long enough to cover his ears, making him appear quite young. Side bangs obstruct his eyes, but upon seeing XL’s face, the strands fly out of the way as he shakes his head in surprise.
“YOU!” The man seethes out, stomping into the elevator with clenched fists.
“M-me?” XL looks around, then points to himself questioningly.
“What are you doing here!? And what the hell are you wearing!? Am I supposed to fall for a dumb disguise like this?” The stranger fires back, voice getting more high-pitched as he jabs an offending finger at XL’s nose.
XL is beyond confused. He glances down at his custodian attire, the nameplate thankfully still in place. It’s in navy this time, courtesy of Black Water’s kindness is providing XL with more than one work outfit that doesn’t automatically suck the soul out of whoever sees it.
There is an awkward beat of silence.
The elevator doors close, XL now pressed with his back against the wall, nervously fiddling with the mop in his hands.
“Do I know you?” XL asks, forgetting his manners in a panicked state while searching his memories, trying to recognize the man in front of him.
“Fucking rude, as always,” the man sneers, giving XL a nasty stink-eye before backing off. “If you won’t reveal your true self now, I’ll just follow you until you do.”
“Excuse me? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” XL rushes out, sneaking in a few bows here and there. “Perhaps you’ve mistaken me for the wrong person?
The man crosses his arms as if seriously contemplating XL’s words. His eyes shift from XL’s face, to his attire, to the mop, and then finally, up towards above XL’s head.
He decidedly shakes his head, unconvinced.
“No, I’m not that gullible. How convenient would it be that the first time I see you in who-the-fuck-knows-how-long, you’re stuck like this,” he hisses lowly. “Weak. Useless. Ignorant.”
Now that makes XL’s eyebrows rise into his hairline. He’s been harshly insulted before–regarded as pitiful and lacking potential in many areas–and likes to think his skin is thicker because of it. But to be directly attacked by a man whom he has no memory of meeting before? XL can’t help but feel like this is entirely uncalled for.
How does this man even know him?
The elevator doors slide open, having reached the eleventh floor. On the other side stands Black Water, wearing an expensive-looking suit with navy lining and silver cuffs. His foot stops its tapping on the ground where it had been denting the carpet.
“Xie Lian, I’ve been looking for you,” Black Water says, completely ignoring the other man in the elevator. “I’m meeting with a few clients on the east side of the city, and I need you to handle the documentation.”
He holds out a huge briefcase with the same fish symbol as the ones on the doors in the hallway. As XL steps out of the elevator to accept the briefcase, an interested “Xie Lian, huh?” sounds from behind.
“Pardon me, sir, if I can’t recall our first acquaintance. But did you need something from me?” XL asks while turning around, attempting to hold out an olive branch once more. Next to him, Black Water pulls out his phone and mindlessly scrolls down the screen.
“I can’t believe you actually did it. Got yourself a name and everything,” the man says, disbelief coloring his features. Then his eyebrows pinch together in a sudden display of anger. He locks eyes with XL, those amber eyes looking eerily similar to his own. “You disgust me.”
Before XL can react, the elevator doors slam shut instantly with a loud boom, masking the sound of fingers snapping right next to him. XL jerks at the sound, hands white-knuckling the briefcase.
“Do you know who that is?” XL asks his boss, tilting his head. This encounter has left him awfully confused and a little worried about his job. Would this affect what his boss thinks about his impact in the workplace?
It seems this trouble is needless when HX eyes simply narrows his eyes at the closed doors, a stormy expression on his face.
“No one to concern yourself with.”
Bonus:
XL finds out QR is the lower-levels’ boss, who holds an apparent grudge against him…? Once QR had come across XL in the elevator, he sticks around like an unwanted pest, somehow having the time to harass XL many hours a day.
XL: “Why does this guy keep following me around and insulting me?”
XL eventually cleans QR’s floors too because he has time and it seems QR won’t leave him alone.
HX: “Give me back my custodian!”
QR: “Fuck off! Why are you so defensive about mortal scum?”
XL, wiping down the doors, whistling: (´∀｀*)
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven offical's blessing#hualian#hualian au#xie lian#hua cheng#he xuan#qi rong#cerdrabbles#TBC#one of he xuan's books is titled 'how to get away with murder' no cap#xie lian and he xuan best friend agenda#guess who suggested he xuan should get a custodian in the first place#it's the same person who he xuan leeches off of to pay xie lian his salary#protect xie lian at all costs he's gonna need it#I'm writing this instead of doing online college#college is a scam
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