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ibijau · 4 years

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Sunday 11th: Free spot - Age/role reversal, where Nie Huaisang is the oldest with a bratty little brother, while Lan Xichen is the sweet and happy Second Jade of Gusu Lan

This will be a two parter at minimum and the role reversal won’t come up until part two oops

Also on AO3

Inside Lan Qiren's office, Nie Huaisang bowed deeply before the renowned teacher.

"I leave my brother in your capable hands," he said, before turning to Lan Wangji and bowing again. "Please, make sure he doesn't create troubles. I trust your judgement in these matters, so punish him if need be."

Next to him Nie Mingjue scoffed, as only a boy unused to discipline could. Nie Huaisang, who was the entire reason his brother often came off as a stubborn brat, sighed. The Lans would have a lot of work with that one.

Lan Xichen, who had been standing behind his brother, stepped aside to grab Nie Mingjue's arm, smiling brightly.

"I'll make sure he behaves," he promised. "If he does anything bad, I'll tell Brother and Uncle."

"Xichen-ge!" Nie Mingjue cried out, betrayed. "I thought we were friends!"

"We are, but Nie zongzhu trusts us. Don't you, Nie zongzhu?"

"I trust you most of all," Nie Huaisang said, amused as always by this too earnest second master of Gusu Lan. He almost laughed when Lan Xichen's face turned bright pink at his comment. It was always fun to compliment those Lans. "Lan Er-gongzi, please take good care of my little brother. I know you will be a good influence on him."

Lan Xichen preened, until Nie Mingjue elbowed him in the ribs for this betrayal. This time, Nie Huaisang really couldn't help laughing. He exchanged a glance with Lan Wangji who also looked amused, in his own manner, while Lan Qiren just sighed and dismissed the two boys so grown-ups could speak in peace. Well, two grown-ups and Lan Wangji, who wasn't quite nineteen yet, but often behaved as if he were already in his seventies or more.

"How are things in Qinghe?" Lan Qiren asked, inviting his guest to sit while Lan Wangji served tea for both of them.

"Better these days," Nie Huaisang confessed. "We haven't had another plot against us since that last time. I think everyone is coming to term with me being in charge until Mingjue comes of age… And five more years isn't so much to wait."

Lan Qiren nodded, knowing as well as Nie Huaisang what that sort of waiting felt like. Though of course, the circumstances were different.

Lan Qiren's place within Gusu Lan could never have been contested, while Nie Huaisang was only the talentless son of a dancer turned concubine. On the other hand, Nie Huaisang would be truly free in five years, when his father's true heir could be crowned sect leader, while the best Lan Qiren could hope for was that in eighteen months Lan Wangji would become more involved in sect affairs, but Lan Qiren would remain regent unless his brother decided otherwise.

Although Nie Huaisang got along well with Lan Qiren who was little more than a decade his senior, he was close friend with Lan Wangji who was only a few years younger. And so, for the sake of his younger friend's wellbeing, he hoped Qingheng-Jun would continue leaving the burden of power on Lan Qiren's shoulders. Lan Wangji deserved to have a free youth, or at least as free as his temper allowed.

"How long is Nie zongzhu staying?" Lan Wangji asked, sounding hopeful. Or at least, Nie Huaisang gathered he was hopeful, he could be so hard to read.

"I really only came to drop Mingjue," Nie Huaisang sighed. "Things are more stable, but I'd be a fool to stay away too long. But you must come visit me, Wangji. We haven't chatted in so long, you really must. I'm even willing to go on a Night Hunt if need be."

A near smile appeared on Lan Wangji’s face at that offer, both of them knowing what it cost Nie Huaisang to say such a thing, but also that he really would if it was the only way to see his friend.

It had not been the worst Night Hunt Nie Huaisang had ever been on, mostly because he'd let Lan Wangji do all the work. In exchange, he was the one paying all the expanses, and so had dragged Lan Wangji into a nicer inn than his friend would have picked. Someone had to spoil Lan Wangji, and Nie Huaisang was happy to do it. He hadn't managed yet to convince his friend to have a little meat, but the night was still young, and it was just the two of them since they'd requested to have their dinner served in their room. In private, Lan Wangji occasionally relaxed a little more.

"So, I hear Mingjue’s making friends?" Nie Huaisang said, pouring himself some wine. "Those Yunmeng boys?"

"Jiang gongzi," Lan Wangji confirmed. "They have frequent arguments. They always make up."

"It's good he's met someone with a temper to match his own," Nie Huaisang laughed. "Xichen lets him get away with too much. He writes to me, you know?"

"Nie gongzi?"

Nie Huaisang shook his head. "Mingjue wouldn't write to me if his life depended on it, the brat. No, I meant Xichen. That boy is adorable, he took it so seriously when I asked him to take care of Mingjue, and now he gives me updates. Wangji, you have the best brother, I want to trade."

"Hm. No."

"How selfish!" Nie Huaisang whined. "Just you wait, in five years I'm free! I'll seduce Xichen, get him to the Unclean Realm with me… Then he can make sure Mingjue behaves, while I'll be painting all day."

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes, before taking a sip of tea.

"Oh don't worry, you wouldn't be left alone," Nie Huaisang said with a wide grin. "Maybe Wei Wuxian could be convinced to stay in the Cloud Recesses?"

Instantly, Lan Wangji spit his tea on the table, glaring at Nie Huaisang who howled with laughter.

"Huaisang!"

"Blame your brother! He's the one who told me about it. I thought he was joking, but… Seriously, Wei Wuxian? Ah, Wangji, you'll always surprise me."

Lan Wangji's glare intensified, as if the very idea of him liking anything about a brat like Wei Wuxian were an insult to his character. It would have been more credible if Nie Huaisang hadn't known his tell, and noticed his red ears.

"He's smart, and talented," Nie Huaisang noted, a little more seriously. "A brat, sure, but he'll calm down with age. I can't say he's my type physically, but you're entitled to your bad tastes."

"A sect leader can't marry a man," Lan Wangji sternly noted.

Nie Huaisang shot him a surprised look, shocked that Lan Wangji would even be thinking of something so serious. He would have to write to Lan Xichen about this. If Lan Wangji's crush was this deep already, they needed to help along. Propriety didn't matter much in the long run, Nie Huaisang had learned early.

And besides, there was always Lan Xichen to give heirs to the Lan sect.

Discussion conferences were never much fun. Those held in Nightless City, even less so. Nie Huaisang hated most other sect leaders, though he felt justified in that by the fact they didn’t like him much either, with the exception of Lan Qiren, who was an old family friend, and Jiang Fengmian, who was too weak willed to hate anyone. Everyone else treated Nie Huaisang like an idiot for his continued insistence that he would abdicate in favour of his brother as soon as Nie Mingjue was ready for it, never understanding that aside from his lack of interest for the job of sect leader, he would merely be obeying his father’s own wishes.

Nie Mingjue was their father’s true heir, Nie Huaisang’s only role was keeping the throne warm for him.

Of course nobody except Lan Qiren would understand that. A bunch of greedy, selfish fools the whole lot of them, who would have sold their own fathers and sons to grab a little more power. The worst, by far, were Jin Guangshan (who’d always taken the old Nie sect leader for an idiot, since he would never have recognised a bastard, let alone married the whore who bore it) and Wen Ruohan (who rumour said had murdered his own father indeed, and who had certainly killed Nie Huaisang’s, something for which he’d pay someday). If either of those two dropped dead before him, Nie Huaisang would only have laughed and left them to rot in the sun.

Which wasn’t to say that either of them knew that.

Nie Huaisang hadn’t survived years of internal conflict in his sect without learning a few things, and so he made sure to be especially polite to those two very powerful men. It annoyed Nie Mingjue to no end, but he wasn’t sect leader yet and couldn’t do anything about it.

And so, Nie Huaisang had to pleasantly talk with those two awful men while the juniors of all sects took part in an archery contest. It wasn’t Nie Mingjue’s greatest strength, but he did well for himself, so Nie Huaisang was determined to congratulate and praise him for his hard work. Meanwhile, Wen Chao had failed horribly and been eliminated very early on, which delighted Nie Huaisang more than words could have said, even if he forced himself to babble that surely it couldn’t have been anything but bad luck. Not that anyone really cared, anyway. The stars of the day were the Twin Jades of Gusu Lan and Wei Wuxian, who had done so well and would have been in the top three together, if not for some incident forcing Lan Wangji to give up.

When the contest was over, Nie Huaisang rushed to go meet his brother and his friends, eager to congratulate the boys… and to escape the grown-ups.

It amused him to find Nie Mingjue having an argument with Jiang Cheng, with Wei Wuxian laughing to the side and Lan Xichen watching them indulgently, like a benevolent older brother to those three terrors. And out of the four of them, Lan Xichen was the first to spot Nie Huaisang approaching.

“Nie zongzhu, were you looking for your brother?” he asked with a bow that the Yunmeng boys imitated. “Did you see how well he did in the contest?”

“Very well indeed,” Nie Huaisang agreed. “Though I found myself mostly watching you. I knew Lan Er-gongzi was a skilled archer, but this was amazing. I wouldn’t be surprised if the heavens had opened to welcome you as a martial god, you were simply brilliant.”

As always, Lan Xichen blushed at the heavy praise, which was the very reason Nie Huaisang did it. That boy always reacted so strongly to any little compliment, it was simply a joy to see.

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes, and slapped his brother’s shoulder.

“You’re such an embarrassment, Da-Ge,” he muttered. “Can’t you behave normally sometimes?”

“Did I say something wrong? Lan Er-gongzi, did you feel insulted perhaps?”

“Not in the least,” Lan Xichen replied, his cheeks turning a brighter shade of pink. “But perhaps Nie zongzhu is… a little too generous in praising me. I only got the first place because Brother had to quit. Otherwise, he would have won for sure.”

“Second place wouldn’t be bad either,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “And having a calm character in the face of adversity is a quality in and of itself, one that I envy. Lan Er-gongzi just needs to accept that he is a very skilled young man. He wouldn’t have been picked as the first most eligible bachelor of this generation otherwise!”

This was, without a doubt, the brightest shade of red that Nie Huaisang had ever seen on poor Lan Xichen who clearly felt greatly embarrassed by that list that had started circulating some months earlier. It was a fairly accurate list though, and one Nie Huaisang could have written… except he would have placed his brother higher (seventh only was an insult) and removed himself from it (he was eighth only because of his current position as sect leader, and did not intend to ever marry if he could avoid it).

"You're such a creepy old man," Nie Mingjue grumbled, elbowing him in the ribs with more force than was really necessary.

"Nie zongzhu isn't old, he's only twenty two, right?" Lan Xichen protested, before turning to the Yunmeng boys who had been watching them with great amusement. "That's not so much older than the rest of us, right?”

“It’s barely older than our sister,” Jiang Cheng conceded, always trying so hard to be polite even when it did not come to him easily. Nie Huaisang really hoped some of that would rub on Nie Mingjue over time.

“So it’s settled, Nie zongzhu is not old at all,” Lan Xichen decided. “Nie zongzhu should really spend more time with us, instead of other sect leaders.”

While Nie Huaisang couldn’t help laughing at that very tempting offer, Nie Mingjue glared at his friend. For some reason, Lan Xichen turned bright red once more and had to look away. Ah, he really was too cute, none of the other Lans were ever so sweet.

“I’d do so gladly, if I truly had a choice, but duty is a cruel mistress,” Nie Huaisang theatrically sighed. “In fact, I’ll abandon you again now. I only wanted to get a chance to congratulate all of you for your amazing performance. You’ve all done very well, and I feel lucky to have seen such talented young men perform like this. Now though, I must return to sit with boring old men and pretend there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

The four boys had the kindness of pretending they were disappointed to see him leave. At least, three of them had to be pretending. Lan Xichen was sweet enough that he might have been sincere in saying he wished Nie Huaisang could have stayed, though Nie Huaisang had no doubt they’d all have much better fun without him.

Ah, to be young and free.

Nie Huaisang wondered what that was like.

The news of the burning of the Cloud Recesses reached the Unclean Realm a few days after it happened, carrying with it grim rumours. Qingheng-Jun was either wounded or dead, his eldest son captured or dead as well, and as for the youngest, no one seemed to really know. Maybe he too was dead, leaving only poor Lan Qiren to pick up the pieces, as he had already done more than once now. If the political climate had not been so tense and the Wens so clearly looking for excuses to attack everyone, Nie Huaisang would have flown straight to the Cloud Recesses to check what had really happened and offer his support.

Just days after they heard about the Lans, a messenger came from Qishan Wen, ordering that twenty young people of Qinghe Nie should be sent to be taught properly in cultivation matters, among which one at least needed to be from the main clan itself.

Nie Huaisang, who was no fool, understood what that truly meant. The Wens wanted to have his brother in his power.

His first instinct, of course, was to refuse. He hadn’t spent six years protecting Nie Mingjue from coups and attacks within their sects just to hand him over to the people who had murdered their father, the ones who Nie Huaisang suspected to have supported at least one or two of those coups. And yet, after thinking on it for a few hours, Nie Huaisang realised that this choice, like many others, wasn’t quite in his hands. So he summoned his brother to the throne room, hoping that treating this like official sect business would make Nie Mingjue a little more willing to bend to his authority.

It did not quite work.

In fact, it did not work at all.

"I'm not letting you send me there as a hostage!" Nie Mingjue roared when Nie Huaisang announced his decision.

"I'm your sect leader and your elder brother,” Nie Huaisang pointed out, trying not to wince. This was going exactly as bad as he had feared. “If I give you an order, you have to obey."

"Some sect leader you are," Nie Mingjue snapped. "Always bending before everyone, trying to stay on the good side of the man who murdered our father. If I were sect leader…"

"Well you're not, not yet. And you'll never be unless I keep you alive!" Nie Huaisang shouted, before taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Mingjue, just because nobody has tried to kill me recently doesn't mean they've given up on it. If I resist Wen Ruohan and start a war, they'll turn on me, on us! And even if they don't, who would side with us against the Wens? Jin Guangshan covets our territories, the Lans are weakened, and Jiang Fengmian doesn't have the numbers to be of any use. Qinghe Nie is alone. We're alone, Mingjue. Please understand that. Please let me protect you."

Nie Mingjue glared at him and stepped closer. He’d grown a lot recently, and was slightly taller than Nie Huaisang. He was likely to keep growing, too, and would probably be as imposing a man as their father… if he stayed alive long enough for it.

Nie Huaisang begged any god that might be listening to keep his brother alive.

"Protect me?” Nie Mingjue spat, looking down at his older brother. “Are you sure you're not just sending me there to get killed by the Wens, so you don't have to pretend anymore that you'll abdicate in my favour? After all you've gotten so good at leading the sect, and I'm just a brat, who'd blame you for wanting me dead?"

Nie Huaisang slapped him.

It wasn't a strong blow, and with their difference in cultivation and power, it couldn't have hurt much. In fact, Nie Huaisang’s hand probably stung more than his brother’s face. Still Nie Mingjue found himself stunned into silence and pressed a hand to his cheek.

No matter how bratty, headstrong, or disrespectful he'd been before, Nie Huaisang had never once hit him until that day. At the same time, Nie Mingjue had always taken his brother's defence whenever someone accused Nie Huaisang of plotting for power, knowing full well how much it distressed his brother that anyone would think him capable of harming Nie Mingjue.

"I hate you," Nie Mingjue hissed.

"Hate me if you like, you're still going to Qishan," Nie Huaisang replied.

"If you were a real sect leader, a real cultivator…"

"Well I'm neither!" Nie Huaisang exploded. "I don't have the strength to start a war, and I even less have the power to fight in one! In four years, when you sit on that damn throne, you can declare all the wars you like, lead this sect however it pleases you! But until then it's me who decides how we're playing this game, and I say we are not going to give Qishan Wen an excuse to slaughter all of us!"

"I really hate you," Nie Mingjue retorted, still rubbing his cheek. "I wish your mother had never come to Qinghe."

"I wish the same. I'd rather have been the obscure son of a whore than to lead this stupid sect for you. Now go and pack your things! I need to decide who else I'm sending."

Nie Mingjue stormed away, cursing loudly and stomping his feet. Nie Huaisang waited until his brother was far enough, and collapsed on the throne, curling up on himself to cry.

He could have taken the whole world accusing him of scheming and being a bad brother. Even if Lan Wangji or those few Nie elders faithful to him had suddenly turned on him, he could have borne with it. But to hear that Nie Mingjue too doubted him after all was more than he could take.

It took him a long time to calm down, but he did eventually. And then, as he was quite used to doing, he pushed aside his feelings and set out to decide what would be the best way to protect his brother. Nie Huaisang stayed up all night making a list of nineteen Nie disciples who could be trusted to keep Nie Mingjue safe not simply from whatever the Wens had in store for them, but also from his own temper.

His brother would survive this.

Nie Huaisang refused to consider any other possibilities.

When Nie Mingjue and the other disciples returned, exhausted and on foot, Nie Huaisang ran to his brother and hugged him in the middle of the courtyard for an embarrassingly long time. It alarmed him when Nie Mingjue didn’t push him away or complain, as he’d started doing over any displays of affection these last couple of years. Instead, Nie Mingjue pulled his brother closer to him, as if needing the closeness as well. Later Nie Huaisang would worry about what might have caused this big boy of nearly seventeen to so desperately need a hug, but right then he just took this rare gift and enjoyed it while it lasted.

When at last Nie Mingjue reluctantly let him go, Nie Huaisang looked around at the other disciples. He frowned when he counted two missing, when he saw wounds on several of them. These boys were his, almost as much as Nie Mingjue, and it made his blood boil that anyone had harmed them. He quickly gave orders for the healers to check on them and food to be served for them, before dragging his brother to the privacy of his quarters to hear what had happened.

It worried him again when he sat on his sofa, and Nie Mingjue not only sat near him but curled up against his side, the way he used to do as a little boy.

Then his brother explained everything that had happened, the punishments, the threats, the slaughter in that cave, the monster, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian being lost to the world perhaps, the long run home, and… Nie Huaisang pulled his brother as close as he could. They both knew better than most how carelessly cruel Qishan Wen could be, but this was a new low.

“I shouldn’t have sent you,” Nie Huaisang whispered against his brother’s hair. “You were right, I shouldn’t have.”

“They’d have attacked us, like you said,” Nie Mingjue replied. “Wangji-ge said that they were well prepared when they came to the Cloud Recesses and would have killed all of them if Lan Qiren hadn't given in about burning the library.”

“We’re not Gusu Lan,” Nie Huaisang hissed. “We know how to fight back. I shouldn’t have risked you, I’m so sorry.”

Nie Mingjue only hummed in answer. After a moment he pulled back from his brother, looking horrifyingly serious.

“Da-Ge, do you think we’ll really have a war now?”

“If they attack us, we’ll defend ourselves,” Nie Huaisang replied. “If they attack our friends, we’ll come to help them. If they attack the Jins… I’ll send Wen Ruohan a basket of flowers in thanks, and then we’ll still prepare for war. I don’t think it can be avoided now.”

Nie Mingjue nodded. “I’ll help. I’ll fight, I’ll lead men, I’ll do anything you tell me. Anything except stay away from the fight,” he quickly added before Nie Huaisang could say a thing. “I’m not too young for it, and with their numbers you know we can’t spare anyone. If Wen Chao is standing at his father’s side, why shouldn't I stand at yours?"

The idea of Nie Mingjue in battle, of him facing not just monsters but actual people capable of far more harm than any supernatural creature, left Nie Huaisang breathless with horror. His little brother shouldn't have had to deal with that, not yet, not ever. Nie Huaisang’s soul screamed in protest.

Most of his soul, anyway.

The part of him that had been fighting daily to maintain power over Qinghe Nie so it wouldn't be stolen from Nie Mingjue saw this upcoming war as an opportunity. If they did well enough for themselves, if Nie Mingjue proved that he had the potential to make a great leader, the way Nie Huaisang knew he would be when his time came… It could buy them peace within their sect, turn a few more elders and ambitious cousins to their side. If they could be made to see Nie Mingjue the way Nie Huaisang saw him…

It was a risk to take, but it'd be worth it if it worked.

And between Nie Huaisang's cunning and Nie Mingjue’s everything, how could it not work?

As long as they were together, Nie Huaisang felt capable of anything.

Roughly a month into what they had dubbed the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Mingjue barged into his brother's tent, dragging behind him a bewildered young man by the name of Meng Yao. A new recruit into their sect, arrived in Qinghe Nie shortly before Nie Mingjue had escaped from the indoctrination camp. A young man who showed great promise, Nie Huaisang had thought, putting him among the troupes led by his brother.

Nothing to do with the fact that Nie Huaisang had taken notice of Meng Yao for their similar backgrounds and, knowing how some of their disciples could be, decided to leave that young man under the protection of Nie Mingjue who did not tolerate anyone to be badmouthed for their origins.

Nie Huaisang had expected that sooner or later his brother would talk to him about Meng Yao, hopefully in good.

What he hadn't expected was Nie Mingjue demanding that Meng Yao be made his second in command right this instant.

"Did Meng gongzi agree to this?" Nie Huaisang asked, deeply amused by the shock on the young man's face.

"Why would he refuse?" Nie Mingjue retorted, so sincerely puzzled that it made his brother laugh.

They had all seen some ugly things this past month, but Nie Huaisang was grateful that his brother hadn't been too changed by it yet.

"Please just ask that man what he wants," Nie Huaisang chuckled.

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes, as if his brother were acting obtuse on purpose, but he did ask Meng Yao whether he wanted the job or not.

Meng Yao hesitated, which marked him as someone clever enough to realise the amount of responsibility he'd get if he said yes. But he did say yes, which spoke of a certain hunger for better circumstances that Nie Huaisang would have to keep an eye on. Ambition had never been a trait he liked in others, lacking it so much himself.

"Well if everyone wants this, I can only agree," Nie Huaisang announced. "Welcome to this mess, Meng Yao."

"Thank you for this honour, Nie zongzhu," Meng Yao replied with a deep, elegant bow. "I will try to be worthy of it."

The weeks that followed were both some of the hardest and the best that Nie Huaisang had ever lived through.

He had not been confronted with such levels of fear and stress since the first year after his father's passing. At the same time, he wasn't alone to face it all this time. His brother was now old enough to fight some battles of his own, literally and metaphorically, which took a huge weight of Nie Huaisang’s shoulders. And Meng Yao, although dropped into this unprepared, had soon proven to be a great asset as well as a great friend.

It had been so long since Nie Huaisang had made a friend. Not since his father's descent into madness, in fact. All those years he had only had Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren to turn to, and he liked both of them immensely, of course, but there was so much they simply couldn't understand.

Meng Yao did.

He knew what it felt like to be the son of a mother only, no matter how glorious the father. He knew about disdain and fighting for respect, about needing to be better than anyone just to perhaps be treated the same. Meng Yao was the only person to understand what Nie Huaisang’s life was like, and he was ever so glad that his brother had decided to take a fancy to the young man.

He hoped Meng Yao would stay with them for good, a perfect addition to their little family.

He told Lan Wangji as much, a few weeks after Meng Yao's rise in ranks, too delighted by the way things were going to keep the joy to himself.

They were technically meeting in the Nie camp to plan a joint attack by Lan and Nie forces, but Nie Huaisang refused to make any decisions until Nie Mingjue joined them and gave his opinion. He was the one who knew the field's situation best after all, and he generally understood military manoeuvres better than Nie Huaisang. So as they waited for him to return from a quick reconnaissance mission, Nie Huaisang did what he did best and chatted endlessly.

Because Lan Wangji was always so quiet, it took Nie Huaisang a criminally long time to realise his friend seemed a little out of it that day.

"How is it treating you, being sect leader?" Nie Huaisang asked. "To rise to power in such circumstances, that can't be… I can't imagine."

"It was similar for Huaisang," Lan Wangji soberly replied. "I have people to rely on."

"Oh, right, I heard Xichen made it home safely! It must have been such a relief! I know I was worried for him. But him and the books were safe in the end, right? You must have been so relieved!"

Lan Wangji nodded, quite earnestly, and yet something still didn't look right. It had to mean the reason for his melancholy was the last possible option. And that, sadly, also meant it was not something Nie Huaisang thought he could help with. Still, even just by lending a friendly ear…

"So, I hear you were there when they found Wei Wuxian again?"

Lan Wangji flinched at that name, visibly so.

It had been barely two weeks since Wei Wuxian was found, but already odd rumours had reached Nie Huaisang, rumours that didn't quite fit the image he had of that brilliant but silly boy. The state in which Wen Chao's men were said to have been found was…

"It must have been rough, hiding three months like that, or being a prisoner of the Wens," Nie Huaisang hesitantly said. "And after what happened in Lotus Piers… But I'm sure he'll be back to normal with a little time, and then you can go back to inefficiently flirting with him."

"No."

"Why not? Come on Wangji, I'll even help you!" Nie Huaisang offered, delighted by the idea. "I know that type, they flirt with everyone, but it takes them by surprise when someone flirts back. Just smile at him a little and I swear…"

"No," Lan Wangji repeated, more insistently. "It is me or Xichen. I will not be my father. I will not take my brother's choice from him."

Nie Huaisang blinked a few times, trying to understand what Lan Xichen had to do with anything.

"Wait, Xichen likes someone ?" he gasped. "Oh. Who is it? Do I know her? Is she pretty? Had he started courting her?"

"Him. Not yet. The circumstances aren't right."

"Oh."

Nie Huaisang pinched his lips, a little disturbed by the idea. He had nothing against men who preferred other men, having that taste himself. And even if he had liked only women, since he suspected that Nie Mingjue had a thing for pretty boys as much as girls, he could never have found that sort of preference disgusting.

Still, it felt odd to him that Lan Xichen might have a crush on anyone. Perhaps that was because Lan Xichen had never once mentioned it to him. Not that they were close by any means, but they had written to each other so often that year Nie Mingjue was in Gusu, Nie Huaisang thought that Lan Xichen had come to see him as another brother figure, one in whom he might have confided more easily than in Lan Wangji.

Clearly, he had thought wrong.

"So what if you both like men?" Nie Huaisang said, choosing to ignore his discomfort when Lan Wangji’s was greater. "There's always the option of getting a concubine. My grandfather certainly did, and back then cut-sleeve weddings weren't half as accepted as they are now."

"Concubines are frowned upon."

"You Lans need to stop ruining your own lives. Get that Wei boy, Wangji, and let Xichen get… Who is it, anyway? Someone I know?"

Lan Wangji threw him an unimpressed look, the one he had whenever he thought Nie Huaisang was acting obtuse on purpose. For once, it wasn't the case. Still, it meant that it had to be very obvious. Nie Mingjue, perhaps? But that seemed unlikely, Lan Xichen used to joke in his letters that he wasn't sure if Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng were arguing or flirting. That also took Jiang Cheng out of the picture. Wei Wuxian then? But no, Lan Xichen was so supportive of his brother's affections, it was impossible.

Nie Huaisang was stumped. Aside from these three, he couldn't imagine who Lan Xichen would have been friendly enough with to fall for them.

He was about to ask for clues when his brother stomped into the tent, followed closely by Lan Xichen and Meng Yao who both looked rather worried.

"How nice of you to join us at last," Nie Huaisang noted lightly, as if this were a perfectly fine and polite way to come in. "Please Mingjue, sit down so we can commence."

He gestured at a sitting cushion next to him, only for his brother to glare at him.

"You need to write a recommendation letter for Meng Yao," Nie Mingjue ordered. "He wants to join Lanling Jin, but they've refused him before. They won't dare if he comes recommended!"

Nie Huaisang felt his blood freeze. He tilted his head, trying to catch Meng Yao's eyes, but the young man refused to look at him. An admission of guilt in itself.

"Meng Yao, I don't think that's a good idea," Nie Huaisang sighed. "Aren't you happy with us? Aren't we treating you well? You know how much we value you, you're the only person I trust to look after my brother. If you leave…"

"He's Jin zongzhu's son," Nie Mingjue interrupted, as if that were news to Nie Huaisang. "He has a right to be in Lanling Jin! If they were stupid enough to turn him down before, I'd like to see them do that again, when he has the support of another great sect!"

Nie Huaisang smiled without joy, full of affection and pity for his little brother. It must have been wonderful to be such a righteous and honest person that you couldn't understand that others weren't.

But Nie Huaisang had long ago learned how other people were, and so he could guess just how awful of an idea this was. First of all, Jin Guangshan was a man who loathed all his bastards, and hated being told what to do. Secondly, if Nie Huaisang were to give Meng Yao a recommendation, it would just be the son of a lowly concubine supporting the son of a prostitute. Between whores' sons, of course they would help one another, people might say, and then dismiss all of Meng Yao's skills because they had been praised by the wrong person.

It would be such a disservice to Meng Yao. It would be sending him to people who wouldn't appreciate him the way Nie Huaisang did.

It would be losing a friend, when he had so few.

"Jin Guangshan doesn't like me much," Nie Huaisang said at last. "I'm not really sure…"

"Please, Nie zongzhu," Lan Xichen pleaded, stepping forward. "It is really important to Meng gongzi. Maybe if Wangji too writes him a letter? After all, we owe him as well."

"How so?" Nie Huaisang asked. He shot Lan Wangji a surprised look, but it was Lan Xichen who spoke again.

"When Wangji sent me away with our books, I met Meng Yao who rescued me and protected me," Lan Xichen explained, smiling at Meng Yao who was looking more and more embarrassed. "Without his help and advice, I would surely have been caught by the Wens, and who knows what might have become of me."

"He never said."

Meng Yao risked a glance at his sect leader, and smiled weakly.

"At that time, I wasn't sure who could be trusted with such sensitive information," he confessed. "And besides I wanted to be accepted for my own merit. I wanted a chance to truly prove myself, relying only on my skills and hard work."

"And you did!" Nie Mingjue exclaimed. "So Da-Ge will write you a letter to present to Jin Guangshan. We'll be sorry to lose you, but family is what matters."

Nie Huaisang pinched his lips. Nothing good could come of Meng Yao leaving them, he was one of theirs now, he belonged with them as surely as if they shared blood.

But if Nie Mingjue truly wanted this, if he was certain of his decision… it was high time that he started becoming more involved in their sect's life, and this was part of it. Besides, what was the worst that could come from it?

"I'll write you that letter, Meng Yao," Nie Huaisang promised. "I hope you find in Lanling what you seek. And if you do not… You are always welcome in the Unclean Realm. Tomorrow, in a year, in ten… You are our friend, Meng Yao, and leaving today doesn't mean you can't return later."

And he would return, Nie Huaisang was certain of that. Still, the pain of losing this skilled collaborator, this valued friend, was compensated somewhat by the explosive joy of these three boys. Meng Yao bowed deeply in thanks, while Nie Mingjue broke the stoic persona he was trying to put on lately to hug his brother. As for Lan Xichen he smiled more brightly than Nie Huaisang had ever seen him before, saying again and again how grateful he was that Nie Huaisang was helping him repay his debt. In a very un-Lan manner, he even knelt next to Nie Huaisang and gave him a brief hug.

When Lan Xichen jumped back to his feet to return at Meng Yao's side, Nie Huaisang’s eyes met Lan Wangji, his friend once again giving him That Look.

Nie Huaisang glanced over at Lan Xichen, so excited for his friend's good fortune, while a very overwhelmed Meng Yao could only stare at him with open gratefulness and affection.

Oh.

Well, that settled the issue, Nie Huaisang thought despondently.

They would never have kept Meng Yao anyway.

#xisangweek2020 #xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mdzs #honestly there isn't that much xisang in this part oops?#it's mostly nie bros stuff #jau writes #Jau draws #age reversal au

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argendriel · 4 years

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Xisang week - technically day 2 but actually still a day 1 prompt - Family. Specifically, lighting incense at the Nie family altar for the first time after LXC left seclusion.

There's still a lot of underlying guilt on both sides, but it comes down to "If we have forgiven each other, I'm sure Dage would forgive us as well."

(And he should, I mean, he has little choice, what with them being future husbands and all. What's he gonna do, turn into a fierce corpse and hunt them both down to give EACH of them the shovel talk? Pffff. .... wait.)

(The background gave me some trouble because I wasn’t sure what the Nie family shrine would look like - there is the Sword tomb but that’s a different thing and there is the funeral scene from Fatal Journey which just reuses the “Throne room” so I took inspiration from the movie and mixed it up with some of the donghua designs.)

#xisangweek2020 #Xisang week 2020 #Xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #mdzs fanart #watercolour #watercolor #my art

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sheron-c · 4 years

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XiSang Fic Recs

I haven’t seen any rec lists floating about, so for the XiSang Week 2020 challenge - Day 7 - Free choice, I wanted to create a rec list of my personal favourites for Nie Huaisang/Lan Xichen ship. There’s actually a lot of stories that are great and I don’t want to duplicate the entire ship tag, so these are just the top 10 that I found super enjoyable: 1. My Heart is a Saber by peskyjellyfish (~11k)

Summary: Huaisang is on his way to Xinglu Ridge when he gets sidetracked. Rec: This is the fic that gave me everything I wanted to read about them post-canon. Nie Huaisang is angry and damaged, Lan Xichen is hurt and curious, and they find the kind of hope in despair that can only be found together. 2. come and find me (lying in the bed i made) by ImaginationCake @demonic-cultivar (~22k)

Summary: After Jin Guangyao dies, Nie Huaisang is ready to enjoy his life free from the burden of revenge plots and subterfuge. But his decisions have resulted in a deep guilt that he can't shake, and he struggles to stay afloat with no one left to support him. To top it off, he finds himself tangled up in politics that he really couldn't care less about.What he does care about is Lan Xichen's opinion of him, but Lan Xichen won't even look at him anymore. Nie Huaisang can only hope that his life doesn't get any worse. Rec: The fic that got me into this ship! ♡ I did of course come to AO3 looking for more NHS & LXC content immediately after watching the Untamed. After seeing that ending scene with their conversation on the Temple’s steps I wanted more, but I wasn’t sure it was a romantic ship for me until I read this story. It’s got everything, a kidnapping, a rescue and a bad case of feelings :D 3. A Skilled Tactician is the Jewel of a Kingdom by Hypatia3 (~50k, WIP) Summary: During the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Huaisang wants to help despite his terrible sword skills. But there are other things he's good at, and nobody can say his mind is weak. But nobody has to know.After all, he wants to go back to his life of general uselessness after the war is over, and Nie Mingjue would never allow it if he saw a single sign of competence from him.But this has consequences that he didn't expect. Rec: One of the absolute best stories in this fandom when it comes to Nie Huaisang’s characterization -- he’s clever and yet so very Huaisang, in such a believable way that *hands* I can’t explain how much satisfaction I get out of reading and rereading this story. Honourable mention: A Decisive Victory by Hypatia3 (~24k, WIP) Summary: When Jin Guangyao acts against the Nie Sect a little earlier, Nie Huaisang ends up in over his head as acting sect leader. But he has a responsibility and a duty to his sect. His brother is counting on him until he recovers.Or Nie Huaisang loses his temper, starts a war, and impresses a lot of people along the way. Rec: This is not marked XiSang, and is a divergence from the earlier Tactician story (around chapter 7) but it’s such fun to read and Huaisang’s interactions with Lan Xichen are top notch, so I can’t help mentioning it here.

4. from tomb to tomb by @the-pretzel (~16k)

Summary: It's a lot easier to get truth out of someone, even one with a very good reason to lie, when they're drunk. Or, five times Nie Huaisang was drunk and once it was Lan Xichen's turn instead. Rec: Written to capture moments over the years during the course of the show, as Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang dance around each other, this story is absolutely beautiful and vivid. I can still see the scenes of the story pop up in my head like drawings, of Lan Xichen walking in on semi-hungover Nie Huaisang and the sheer tension between them enough to keep you breathlessly reading.

Honourable mention: when i'm reborn by @the-pretzel (~1.1k)

Summary: Nie Huaisang's daemon settles the day he finds out what Jin Guangyao has done. (His Dark Materials fusion) Rec: A very short, very lovely daemon AU, which I’m definitely reading as XiSang :)

5. What I had to do by @ibijau (~20k) Summary: After three years in seclusion, Lan Xichen gets an unexpected guest he would rather have avoided. Yet when he learns that Nie Huaisang is dying from a curse, he is forced to confront his guilt toward Jin Guangyao's fate and the people his sworn brother hurt. Rec: I’d say this is a fandom classic, so you’ve probably read it already :D But, one of my favourite things about this story is the way it captures Nie Huaisang running away from emotions, and Lan Xichen being selfless when it comes to those he cares about. 6. gather jewels from graveyards by LuckyDiceKirby (~15k) Summary: Nie Huaisang stole happiness from Lan Xichen. He stole peace. If he could just see him, and see for himself exactly what he’s done, and know—that will be enough. Then he’ll be able to paint again, and his hands won’t shake as he does it, and he’ll remember why he ever in his life bothered to put brush to ink to paper. After all, a man should have to live with his mistakes. There is no other way to learn from them. His brother believed that. Rec: One of the first stories I read for this ship and so well done! This is one where Nie Huaisang feels very guilty, and who doesn’t enjoy reading that? Nie Huaisang comes to the Hanshi to make amends, and doesn’t go away when Lan Xichen won’t see him.

7. When the world is cold (I will feel a glow) by @marsdiogenes (~3k)

Summary: Xichen is trying very hard to get his crush to notice him, but gallery curator Nie Huaisang has a job to do and would appreciate it if Lan Xichen's beautiful face would stop for a moment so he can focus. Mingjue just wants to have a nice, quiet family dinner and for everyone to respect his efforts.

Rec: I don’t normally go for Modern AUs for this ship, but this was so fun and sexy! Also Nie Mingjue’s knowing reaction is :3 8. to embrace doubt by fensandmarshes, Fleetling, idendreams, medievalfantasyqueen, space_enjolras, sxnshot (blasphemyincarnate)

Summary: Five times people thought they understood Nie Huaisang + one time someone admitted they didn’t - a collaborative, semi-chronological character study of Nie Huaisang through other characters’ eyes. Rec: Okay, it’s technically not marked shippy, but you tell me that someone who thinks about Nie Huaisang the way Lan Xichen does in this story, in the chapter that’s from his pov can possibly not love him, and I won’t believe it. The lyrical prose is the best description in a paragraph I’ve ever read of Nie Huaisang.

9. Love of my life, I hate you by Ibijau (~126k) Summary: With Qishan Wen growing ever more powerful and menacing, QInghe Nie and Gusu Lan decide to cement a firm alliance between their sects through a marriage between their children. Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang are less than thrilled to learn this, but nobody is asking for their opinion anyway Rec: At first, I wasn’t sold on Lan Xichen being so thoughtless in his treatment of Nie Huaisang as a child and mostly wanted to smack him, but damn if the later events don’t make up for it, make him grow up, and turn the tables around. :D This story is utterly satisfying to read, like one of those novels that give your Id everything you want, eventually. I love slow burn and this is that in spades! So much fun, I’ve re-read parts of it multiple times already.

Honourable mention: Ibijau has so many interesting XiSang stories, like the one where Jin Rusong survives and Nie Huaisang ends up raising him (Second Chances For First Time Villains), and the one where Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang, both in love with someone else, make a marriage match and solve crimes together ( We can light a match and burn it down), the god!LXC AU, and many others. Check them out! And finally,

10. Chapter 95: LXC finds out about JGY and tells NHS, from MDZS short fics by nirejseki ( @robininthelabyrinth) (~1k) Summary: In that AU where LXC pretends to be LWJ and discovers NMJ's head, what if he went on a quest to put the body of his old friend together and along the way accidentally ran into NHS who's on the same mission. And they realize the other knows! Rec: Nirejseki writes a lot of great Nie brothers content, and this is one short story that can arguably turn into XiSang in the future. The possibilities of this AU make it so exciting, I had to include it on the list even though NHS and LXC only talk and nothing else happens. ...Okay, that was more than ten fics here, but can you blame me? 😍 I love these two together. And with the XiSang week running we have so much new stuff!

#xisangweek2020 #xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #the untamed #mdzs #fic recs #favourite xisang fic recs #watch tumblr eat this post because external links lol #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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sssrha · 4 years

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Imposter

Later, Lan Xichen learned what, exactly, his mother had done. Later, he would learn that the normal punishment was death. Later he learned that his father had married her so she could escape that fate, only to lock her away from the world she loved so much.

But, at that moment, Lan Huan was five and anything was possible, so he told himself he didn’t need to be Sect Leader Lan—he would be A-Huan, travelling the world with Mother (and maybe A-Zhan) and making her smile. That’s all he ever wanted.

Or: When the people spoke of the Twin Jades of Lan, Lan Xichen could never push away the distinct sense of wrongness in his stomach. They didn’t know that he was an imposter, after all.

[written for XiSang Week 2020. read it below or on AO3.]

Lan Huan’s mother used to card her fingers through his hair once a month, pulling and twisting the strands into elaborate braids that Lan Huan would spend hours looking at, if given the chance. When Lan Zhan would, inevitably, fall asleep to her quiet humming, she would turn her twinkling eyes upon Lan Huan and Lan Huan alone, and she’d keep on braiding and unbraiding his hair, singing sweet nonsense into the silence.

Afterward, right before leaving, he would quietly unbraid his hair, each movement leaving his limbs increasingly leaden until he was but a human caricature, inanimate and yet still breathing, unable to finish what he’d started. His mother would press a kiss to his forehead and finish for him. “Look at you,” she would whisper, careful not to rouse Lan Zhan, “you’re the perfect Lan. My son—so handsome!”

She’d brush her fingers against Lan Huan’s cheek—she did it so often that Lan Huan memorized every scar and callous on them…and there were many. Lan Zhan had only truly learned how to count after their mother let him count every blemish across her palms. When asked, she would say, “I didn’t always live here, A-Huan.”

That made sense. She probably earned those scars in the same place she’d learned how to braid Lan Huan’s hair—the very same braids that sat atop her own head. It must have also been the same place she’d chipped her front tooth and lost the very tip of her left ring finger.

He would ask her about that far off time which he wasn’t alive to see, and she’d regale him with stories of warriors, of freedom, of ancient forests filled with beasts ready to fight, and many times, she’d tell him about a butcher who worked hard until he became so much more. It was his favorite story. When he unbraided his hair and felt his limbs turn to lead, his mother would tell him the story, and suddenly, things weren’t as bad.

He should have known that it wouldn’t last.

***

Lan Huan is eight, and he is floating. He thinks he’s cold, too—he must be, sitting out in the snow like this for so long, nowhere near close enough to his brother to share any warmth. He knows that he should go, but he’s floating over his own head and it’s hard to see anything other than Lan Zhan’s form, crystal clear against the rest of the world.

He cannot leave his brother sitting out in the cold, and even if this is a dream, like he’s starting to suspect, it’s still the principle that matters; Lan Huan watches himself stay completely still until his fingers turn so white that it must be frightening. He watches them curl, one-by-one, creaking in protest after their disuse, and he hears himself say, once again, “A-Zhan, let’s go.” Lan Zhan glances at him once before going back to staring at the door—the one that will never open, no matter how long he waits, no matter how much his older brother wants him to be happy—

Lan Huan floats, and he can’t come back down.

He watches himself hunch over and, slowly, feels the dizziness run rampant through his mind.

The first time Lan Zhan moves that evening is after Lan Huan’s body tilts sideways and doesn’t get back up.

“Brother!”

The world whirls away.

***

That should have been the end of it.

It is not the end.

***

The Cloud Recesses’ infirmary stands apart from the rest of it. It’s in its own nook of time, unchanged by the ebbs and flows of the world and Lan Xichen is sure that if he were to trace the lines of the blanket covering his form, it would remain with the same folds and contours as always. He can almost see the world whirl by, the sun rising and setting with the sands of time.

He sees two winters pass before he’s finally back in himself, fingers running through his own hair, unconsciously folding the roots into braids before undoing them. He should most definitely stop—before someone sees, before someone realizes that he’s dared to keep this little part of his mother for himself—and he seizes when he hears footsteps nearing his area.

Briefly, there is hesitation thick in the room, but then a voice quietly murmurs out a greeting. “Brother,” Lan Zhan says, his voice quiet and full of concern.

He said the same thing two years ago, when Lan Xichen collapsed in the cold, but back then he’d been apologetic, asking for forgiveness for letting him collapse. Now, he just hesitantly places his fingers on Lan Xichen’s hair, carefully helping him undo the last of the braids. “Brother,” Lan Zhan continues, “Uncle said you threw up.”

He had, right in the middle of class. He remembers the gasps that had rippled through the room, the plain horror on the instructor’s face, and the pain in his stomach as he retched. “I did,” he responds.

“What did the physician say?”

Lan Xichen says, “Nothing is wrong. She doesn’t know what happened.” He does. He knows exactly why his head started spinning and his breath came heavy and oppressive. He knows exactly how his world turned upside down. It started with his new instructor smiling at his class and saying, “Today, we will discuss a story.”

It was a story about a butcher who worked hard until he became so much more. For a second, he could almost hear it told from his mother’s lips.

So he threw up.

Lan Zhan doesn’t believe him, he knows, but he doesn’t say a word, still dutifully unbraiding his hair. Lan Xichen lets it happen and wonders, briefly, if he should warn Lan Zhan of this travesty, this complete invasion of their mother’s privacy, but he realizes that Lan Zhan wouldn’t understand. After all, their mother never told the story to him, only to Lan Xichen, unbraiding his hair in the Jingshi. (And, for a moment, Lan Xichen wonders at how similar Lan Zhan is to their mother. Their uncle is always on the lookout to ensure neither of them turn into their father, but…but Lan Zhan really is a carbon copy of her in every way but mannerisms.

And so, Lan Xichen loves him even more than before, surprised at how that’s possible.)

Lan Xichen doesn’t say a word about it. Instead, he asks, “How was class today?”

He asks this every day, and he always receives similar answers: easy, difficult, interesting, uninteresting, etc. Today, however, Lan Zhan says, “Unimportant.”

That stops Lan Xichen dead in his tracks. “Every class is important,” he says firmly, wondering what on earth Lan Zhan was taught to inspire such a response.

Lan Zhan frowns. “You are more important. What happened?”

Ah. Lan Xichen once again finds himself turning away, shame coursing through him at the realization that his little brother is so concerned for him. “I will talk to Uncle about it,” is the only response he gives.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Lan Zhan nods and continues to unbraid Lan Xichen’s hair.

Lan Xichen wonders when his brother got so grown up.

***

Every night, Lan Xichen and his family performs a ritual: their uncle wishes them both a goodnight, gives them a hug, and then heads to sleep. Lan Xichen has learned that, as of late, Lan Zhan has taken to not hugging their uncle, but Lan Xichen still does—it’s a rare bit of his childhood that he does not want to let go of, and his uncle does not mention it.

Tonight, however, Lan Xichen doesn’t let his uncle go without a word. “I have a question,” he says.

Lan Qiren pauses, obviously taken by surprise. “What is it?” he asks.

Lan Xichen says, “Today, in class, Teacher was telling a story. I didn’t get to hear all of it.”

Lan Qiren frowns, contemplative. “What do you remember about it?”

He wets his lips. “It was about a butcher,” he explains. “That’s all I heard.”

“Ah, yes, the founder of the Nie Sect, Nie Fan. He was a butcher that started cultivating, as our Lan An was a monk who began cultivating. Tomorrow, I will tell you the story since you missed it in class. For now, sleep.”

Lan Xichen does not want to sleep. He wants to know why the story was known by others, why it wasn’t special like he always thought it was—why his story was out in the open, like a festering wound that no one let heal. However, exhaustion pulls at his features, dragging him under its spell so effectively that he knows that he will fall asleep soon, whether he likes it or not, so he nods in acceptance and watches his uncle’s form as he leaves Lan Xichen’s room.

Lan Zhan is probably already asleep, and all Lan Xichen will be, too, soon, but—he needs to do something. The endless itch lingers beneath his fingertips, and he finds himself moving before he even realizes what he’s doing. He is sitting in front of a mirror, hands in his hair, braiding and braiding until three long strands sit atop his head. His fingers shake and his shoulders ache, the only thing going through his head being variations of “Mother’s story, my story, our story” until it’s too much and he feels a pressure growing behind his eyes, his shoulders tensing.

He focuses on the chattering of his teeth and the texture of his hair, and by the time he finally stumbles over to his bed—forced into it from exhaustion, no longer quivering—his head is in braids.

That night, he dreams of his mother’s voice singing a song that he will never know the words of.

***

Once upon a time, there was a boy. Every day, the boy dreamed of being a butcher just like his father, so he learned everything he could. One day, his father passed away, but the boy was ready—he used his knowledge to become the best butcher in China. However, soon, his village was plagued by monsters of all sorts. Qinghe was sparsely populated back then, and cultivators were few in numbers, so unless a rogue stumbled upon them, his village was doomed. Nie Fan, seeing all the pain his peers were facing, decided to take matters into his own hands.

Using the very butchering knives he so dearly loved, Nie Fan cultivated until he had a golden core and then saved his village.

This is the story that Lan Xichen knows. What his mother never told him, though, is that there is more.

After becoming the protector of his village, others joined alongside him, cultivating in his manner. Their numbers grew and grew, even past his death, until it became a great sect: the Nie Sect.

Lan Xichen listens to the story with a bowed head, and he wonders what else his mother had kept from him.

***

The forests of Qinghe dwarf Lan Xichen, who is all of thirteen years old. Coming here was never his plan, but his uncle insisted, explaining that Lan Xichen needs to get accustomed to meeting with important people if he’s going to be Sect Leader one day. Lan Xichen nearly hissed back that no one ever asked him if he wanted to be Sect Leader—he doesn’t, not in the slightest, but no one ever asked his uncle if he wanted to rule the sect in the absence of his brother, so Lan Xichen held his tongue.

Now, he wishes he had said something—anything—to stay away from Qinghe, because if he had never come, then he would never have to see the Nie boy.

Gusu and Qinghe are not close geographically, and the GusuLan and the QingheNie are not close politically, so Lan Xichen has never had the (extremely dubious) pleasure of meeting a Nie cultivator until now. Of course he’s taken by surprise.

The boy swept up to the Lan contingent, drenched in olive and gold, saber held tightly in hand. When he bowed, Lan Xichen got a clear view of his head…and of the braids that sat on it. For a second, he was back in the Jingshi on that last day, before everything went so wrong, listening to his mother tell story after story, singing a sweet song.

This boy is like his mother, and he doesn’t understand why.

***

The Unclean Realms sprawl outward, a fortress made for the protection of its inhabitants without a care for aesthetic, but Lan Xichen sees beauty in it, anyway. He sees the thought in every wall, every door, every tile on the floor. While the people in it make Lan Xichen’s heart hammer in his chest, fingers shaking while hidden deep in his robes, the Unclean Realms itself feels like a haven, the likes of which he had never known before.

The meeting with Sect Leader Nie goes smoothly, and Lan Xichen even finds himself unwinding until Sect Leader Nie and his own uncle send him off with another boy. “Play,” Sect Leader Nie had said, and though Lan Qiren had made a face at the phrasing, he hadn’t contradicted him.

Nie Mingjue is broader than Lan Xichen, though a few inches shorter, and he is wearing the same braids as everyone else, broad saber clutched close. It looks a bit too big for his body, suggesting the expectation of future growth, and considering the height of his father, Lan Xichen doesn’t doubt it.

Nie Mingjue drags him around the Unclean Realms, showing him every nook and cranny, an interesting story accompanying every single one of them, chattering on and on until Lan Xichen could recognize his expression by just the dips of his voice.

It’s when they sit beneath a willow tree—a desperate attempt to escape the heat—that Lan Xichen finally asks him, “Those braids…where did you get them?” His voice is so soft, so hesitant, and for a moment, he thinks that Nie Mingjue didn’t even hear him over the rustling leaves.

Then, Nie Mingjue says, “Oh, these? Everyone in the Nie Sect wears them. I’m Sect Heir, so I know how to do it.”

Lan Xichen doesn’t look at him, eyes intent on staring into the horizon and whatever is beyond. He asks, “Can you teach me?” Perhaps they merely look similar. Perhaps it is a different braid entirely. Perhaps Lan Xichen is concerned about nothing.

But Nie Mingjue just laughs. “I can’t teach it to someone who isn’t from the Sect!” As if the mere idea is silly. Then a mischievous look falls over him. “So unless some beautiful maiden sweeps you off your feet and brings you here as her groom, you won’t be wearing the braids any time soon.”

Lan Xichen stays silent.

***

The Lan contingent stays the night, readying to depart tomorrow.

Right before bed, Lan Xichen braids his hair as well as he can, and he stares in the mirror for much longer than is appropriate. He lets his fingers glance over the hardening edge of his jaw, the point of his nose, the skin of his lips. He peers at the warm brown of his eyes, the height of his cheekbones, and the paleness of his skin. Then, finally, he looks at the braids, and he realizes that his reflection is more real than he will ever be.

Breaking curfew is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, but Lan Xichen isn’t in the Cloud Recesses. So, when he slowly opens the door to his quarters and steps outside, he’s not doing anything wrong. He stays cautious, anyway, looking over his shoulder to ensure that his uncle hasn’t magically appeared to scold him.

The Nie Sect has no official curfew, as far as he can tell—if it does, then it’s much later than the Cloud Recesses’, for disciples are still wandering the halls, attending to duties and chatting animatedly about this or that. They all ignore him, and Lan Xichen feels invisible, like he’s blended into the wall, and he’s all the more grateful for it. After all, the braids still sit on his head and if anyone were to notice him, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. (In reality, he is probably not invisible. Instead, he’d slipped on the night robes that the rooms had stored away. He thinks he must look like a normal Nie disciple. He quite likes the thought.)

Lan Xichen is a ghost, haunting these halls without rest until it is well past his bedtime. He is unseen and unknown—until a voice calls out, “Young Master Lan?”

He sees himself turn around, still feeling lost in a dream. His hands go up to his hair, wondering who has discovered him and how he is going to explain his impropriety. For a second, he fears it’s Nie Mingjue, who will take offense to Lan Xichen wearing these braids even after being told they were only for Nie disciples. He thinks of the boy who he’d become rather fond of twisting his face in rage, and shame courses through him, hot and unbearable.

But it is not Nie Mingjue who finds him. Instead, it is a young boy—younger than Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue, definitely, though he distinctly has Nie Mingjue’s eyes and nose. Vaguely, Lan Xichen remembers Nie Mingjue mentioning a younger brother who was Lan Wangji’s age. “…Second Young Master Nie?”

Nie Huaisang shrinks backward, obviously startled by Lan Xichen’s recognition, but then squares his shoulders. “Young Master Lan, are you okay?”

Lan Xichen sees himself turn. “I…” How is he supposed to answer that? He doesn’t feel all that here. He’s watching himself, no control over his own body, everything out of focus, and—

He’s floating.

“Young Master Lan?”

“Yes?”

“Are you lost?” Maybe he is. Can you get lost in a dream? “Young Master Lan, can you hear me?”

“I can,” Lan Xichen hears himself say.

“Do…do you want to come with me for a bit?” Lan Xichen doesn’t see a reason not to, so he follows Nie Huaisang without protest. “Oh, good.”

Good? He doesn’t think so. Vaguely, Lan Xichen hears Nie Huaisang talk—about what, he can’t tell. It blends into the background along with everything else, but there’s certain dips and edges to it that pull him closer, even as he floats. Soon, he finds himself in what he assumes are Nie Huaisang’s chambers as Nie Huaisang prattles on. “I smuggled some sweets from the kitchen but they’re new kinds that I’ve never tried before. My tastebuds are delicate—Brother always scolds me about it, but it’s not my fault! Young Master Lan, can you tell me what it tastes like? I need to be prepared.”

Soon, a few pieces of candy are shoved into Lan Xichen’s hand. His head shifts upward and Nie Huaisang encourages, “Go on! Just tell me the taste and texture.”

Okay. Lan Xichen slips the first piece into his mouth and focuses on it as much as he can manage. “It’s sweet,” he says.

“How sweet? Honey sweet? Sugar sweet? Berry sweet?”

“Honey, but it feels like…sand. Gritty. Do you like gritty things?”

“Maybe,” Nie Huaisang allows. “Does it have a bad aftertaste?”

Lan Xichen swallows and then waits. “No. It’s good.”

“What about the others?”

So Lan Xichen goes on, describing candy after candy until he’s actually holding the pieces, not watching himself eat them. He stops abruptly, placing his palm on the table and then asking, “What was that?”

Nie Huaisang smiles kindly. “Are you feeling better now?”

Better, yes. Good, not precisely. But certainly better. Moonlight streams into the room from the open window, clashing with the flickering of Nie Huaisang’s lamps. Disciples are still chattering, doing their duties, and the Nie night robes that Lan Xichen has thrown on are light and freeing despite the terrible pressure creeping up his spine. “I am,” he says. “What did you do?”

“Helped you come back to yourself,” Nie Huaisang explains. He stumbles to his feet and then goes deeper into his chambers, still talking. “It happens to my cousin, sometimes, too, so I learned how to help.” He comes back with a cup of water, sloshing against the opening with each step he takes.

Lan Xichen takes it and drinks. “I apologize for any trouble—”

“No trouble!” Nie Huaisang immediately insists, only to go red. “I mean, helping people is what cultivators do, right? I might not be that great of a cultivator in any other sense, but I can still do this!”

Ah, yes. The Second Young Master Nie who hates cultivating. “Then, I thank you.”

Nie Huaisang’s face flushes even deeper and he turns away. For a moment, Lan Xichen rests in amused silence, but then Nie Huaisang says, “Young Master Lan, those braids…”

Lan Xichen freezes. “Oh,” he says immediately, hands shooting up to his hair, “I apologize, I’ll take them off immediately.”

“No! I mean,” Nie Huaisang backtracks, “you can wear it! The Nie disciples all wear it but. No one ever mentioned that anyone else couldn’t.”

“But your brother…”

“Brother says a lot of things!” Nie Huaisang says. “Don’t always listen to him! You can wear the braids if you want. You look good in them, anyway. And with those robes, I almost thought you were a Nie disciples!”

Lan Xichen’s eyes widen. “Really?”

“Yeah!”

And Lan Xichen smiles. He smiles when he goes back to his room as well, and he even manages to smile as he unbraids his hair.

It’s the first time anyone has told him that he’s looked good in these braids—not even his mother had said such a thing. Lan Xichen thinks that, for now, everything is going to be okay.

***

The first time Lan Xichen really breaks a rule is when he sneaks into the Cloud Recesses’ weaponry. Only the senior disciples are allowed in—which a fourteen-year-old Lan Xichen very distinctly is not—but he has a question in mind that can’t be solved in any other fashion.

Carefully treading the wooden floors, he enters the side room that not even the senior disciples are allowed into, and he observes its contents. Stacked into neat little rows are hundreds of swords, all belonging to his deceased martial siblings. Off to the side, however, he finds a crypt—wholly out of place.

Slowly, he slides the lid off. Just a bit, just enough to peak inside, and he finds a saber—broad and imperious, to be wielded by a master. Its glare is blinding in the dull light of the room, its sharpened edge pricking him without needing to touch him. Atop the casket, there is an engraving that he will never forget: Nie Jiaying.

“Jiaying.” It’s what his uncle used to refer to his mother on the rare occasions they spoke. “Jiaying.” It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. “Jiaying.” It’s for a wonderful woman with scars, braids, and a saber.

“Nie Jiaying.”

And she’d told him that he was the perfect Lan, but she was a Nie and Lan Xichen had always loved her so much. Lan Xichen bows his head and cries.

***

Lan Huan was five when he found out that, one day, he was going to be Sect Leader. When Lan Qiren told him that, he buried his face into his uncle’s robes and said, “But I don’t want to. A-Zhan can be the Sect Leader.”

Lan Qiren’s face hardened and he spoke, voice sharp, “Don’t forsake your brother when this is your duty.”

Lan Huan buried his face deeper into his uncle’s robes. “But if I’m Sect Leader,” he says, voice muffled, “then how will Mother and I travel around China?” To see all the places she’d told him about, to make her stop looking so sad when she talked about them. He wanted to see them all and…and then maybe he’d pretend to be Sect Leader so A-Zhan could do the same thing, too. Then they could both go with Mother and Mother would get to go twice, because she deserved it.

Lan Qiren’s grip on his shoulder tightened. “You will do no such thing.”

“Why not?”

“You will be the Sect Leader, and your mother cannot leave the Jingshi.”

Lan Huan looked up. “Even then?”

“Even then.”

“Why?”

Lan Qiren pursed his lips. “Your mother did something very bad, A-Huan. This is her punishment.”

Lan Huan didn’t understand. Whenever he got in trouble, he had to copy lines and do handstands. Sometimes he saw the older disciples get hit with the discipline rulers. He’d never heard of a punishment like having to stay inside all the time. He didn’t think he would like it.

***

Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue stay in contact through letters, talking about when they’ll next meet and what they’re going to do. As Nie Mingjue’s sixteenth birthday draws closer and closer, they also discuss all the things that they plan to do when he comes to the Cloud Recesses.

Three months beforehand, news arrives: Nie Mingjue’s father has died, leaving Nie Mingjue as Sect Leader Nie. He sends a very formal apology letter, explaining why he can’t attend classes in the Cloud Recesses, and it is not in his handwriting but Lan Xichen keeps silent about it. Lan Qiren heads to the Unclean Realms as soon as news reaches them in an effort to help Nie Mingjue deal with his new responsibilities, and Lan Xichen is left behind.

Lan Wangji approaches him that night. “Brother,” he says, sweeping into Lan Xichen’s quarters and seating himself across from him, “I heard what happened.” Lan Xichen seals his eyes shut. Lan Wangji continues, “You…did not go to the Unclean Realms.” He’s surprised that Lan Xichen hasn’t gone to comfort his friend.

Lan Xichen shakes his head. “Uncle said that my being there would make things more complicated for him. I’ve arranged to visit in a few months.”

Lan Wangji observes him. “Second Young Master Nie,” he says, “has informed me that Sect Leader Nie would not be opposed to your presence.”

Lan Xichen pauses. “You’ve spoken to Huaisang?”

“He and I have kept up a correspondence.”

Lan Xichen knew that the two were in contact, but he never expected them to talk about these kinds of things. Lan Xichen looks up, staring at the ceiling. “Is he positive?”

“Yes.” He hesitates. “And he mentioned…he would like to meet you, as well.”

This causes Lan Xichen’s head to spin in confusion. “What?”

“Second Young Master Nie wishes to meet you.”

Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang exchange gifts—little, useless trinkets that are technically not allowed, but to which Lan Qiren always turns a blind eye when he visits Lan Xichen’s residence—but they haven’t written actual, substantial words to each other. And why would Nie Huaisang want to meet? The last time they’d met for longer than a few minutes was on that first time he’d visited the Unclean Realms and caused Nie Huaisang so much trouble.

Nie Huaisang was being polite, Lan Xichen decides. And his uncle is right, anyway—Lan Xichen’s presence will only make things worse for Nie Mingjue. Who knows what kind of power struggle is happening within the walls of the Unclean Realms? Having to deal with Lan Xichen won’t be helpful at all.

“I shouldn’t impose, Wangji.”

Lan Wangji looks like he wants to protest, but no words leave his lips. Instead, he bows his head and says, “Yes, Brother.” The amount of skepticism and exasperation he manages to pack into those two words is astonishing.

Lan Xichen pointedly ignores it.

***

Lan Xichen expects Nie Mingjue to never again step foot in the Cloud Recesses. It’s unconscious and illogical, but he sees an ocean between them now—an ocean he so desperately wants to cross, even when everyone insists on him making his home on the other side.

That ocean seems a little smaller when Nie Mingjue sends him a certain letter. Its contents are very simple: Nie Mingjue cannot attend class at the Cloud Recesses, but Nie Huaisang most definitely can and he will be when he turns 15. Nie Mingjue came to iron out the details and they sat and spoke as if nothing had ever gone wrong—as if they were still just two Young Masters, hiding from the sun beneath a willow tree.

The day before Nie Huaisang is due to arrive, Lan Xichen receives a letter from Nie Mingjues. “You and that brother of yours better take care of Huaisang,” it says. Affectionate as always, and Lan Xichen’s lips quirk upwards as he passes it over to Lan Wangji. He gives it a deadpan stare.

“Rules are rules,” he intones. “If Nie Huaisang breaks any, he will get punished.”

Lan Xichen raises an eyebrow. “And when did you start calling him by his name?”

There is a pause before Lan Wangji’s ears flare up, brilliant red. “Brother…”

It’s nice to know that his brother has a friend.

***

Nie Huaisang’s arrival in the Cloud Recesses is marked with all the fanfare that a Young Master of his status deserves, and he delights in every bit of it. It’s nothing material, of course, but there are a great deal of greetings and tours and fawning over the quality of robes—something Lan Xichen had never before taken into account, but now he runs his fingers through his own and wonders if it will live up to Nie Huaisang’s standards. It will, most likely, since his are among the best quality in the Sect.

His robes are special. They’re a cocoon with which he wraps himself, an illusion behind which he hides. These robes say that he is Lan Xichen, the First Jade of Lan, the most eligible bachelor in China. He is none of these things, but it’s easier to pretend when he wears these robes. (Sometimes, though, the robes are not enough. Sometimes, when nothing seems right, Lan Xichen is not even sure if he is Lan Xichen. And at those times, his robes hurt more than they help.)

Lan Xichen makes sure to check in on Nie Huaisang often, just as Nie Mingjue asked him to. He mentions time and time again to focus on studies and get enough sleep, to come to him if he ever needs anything, and every time Nie Huaisang giggles and says, “Of course, Brother Xichen!” And then he never comes.

Lan Xichen almost thinks that Nie Huaisang has resolved to ignore him entirely when, close to curfew, he gets a knock on his door. It’s a bit late for visitors, but far enough from curfew that any visitors can still arrive back at their residence after a decent conversation. He does not expect to open the door to Nie Huaisang in tears.

“Huaisang?” Lan Xichen gasps, ushering him inside.

Nie Huaisang clings to him, sobbing into his night robes. “I can’t do it,” he gasps. “I can’t do it, Brother Xichen. It’s too hard.”

“What are you talking about?” Lan Xichen asks.

“School!” he exclaims. “I just don’t understand! I try and I try but I’m just—just stupid!”

“You’re not stupid,” Lan Xichen says immediately, sitting him down. “Come, Huaisang, let’s—” He suddenly freezes when the smell hits him. “Are you drunk?”

“I am,” Nie Huaisang admits, and there’s so much shame in his voice that Lan Xichen can’t bring himself to be mad at him.

“Oh, Huaisang,” he says. “Is school really troubling you that much?”

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang says. “I don’t know! I just…this isn’t working, Brother Xichen.” He lets his head fall onto the table with a soft thud, and Lan Xichen grimaces.

Carefully, he pries Nie Huaisang up and says, “I’ll help.”

“How?”

“I’ll teach you in the evenings,” he says. “Hopefully, some extra attention can help you absorb the information better.”

Nie Huaisang stares at him with wide eyes. “Really? You would do that?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

Lan Xichen blinks. The obvious answer is because Nie Mingjue asked him to look out for Nie Huaisang, but what actually comes out of his mouth is, “Because you’re my friend.”

Nie Huaisang stares, then smiles. “I’m really lucky to have both Jades of Lan as my friends.”

Lan Xichen perks up, delight seeping into him. “Wangji actually admitted that he’s your friend?” he demands.

“Not yet, but he’s getting there! I’ll wear him down eventually…” he says. Lan Xichen lets out a light huff of amusement.

They continue like that, time whirling alongside their words, moon rising ever so slightly higher in the sky, until Lan Xichen has to finally put an end to it. “It’s nearly curfew,” he says. “I’ll overlook your drinking just this once, but you should get back to your room before curfew. The disciples on patrol won’t be anywhere near as kind as I am.” He’s already setting the tea away, rearranging the miscellaneous objects that had fallen out of their places along the way. Nie Huaisang watches it all happen.

Then, Nie Huaisang says, “Do you have a mirror?”

Lan Xichen blinks. “Of course.” He immediately points him in the direction of his mirror, which sits, largely concealed, by his bed. Nie Huaisang ambles over to it with a hum, out of Lan Xichen’s sight. He doesn’t pay it any further mind until he hears Nie Huaisang give off a huff of frustration.

“What’s wrong, Huaisang?” he asks, approaching him.

Nie Huaisang’s fingers are tangled in his own hair, sloppy and shaking as he tugs on the strands. “My hands won’t work!” he says. “They’re all…” he waves his fingers around in an approximation of something Lan Xichen doesn’t quite understand.

He settles for a laugh. “You’re drunk, of course your movement is impaired.”

“I’m not that drunk!” Nie Huaisang exclaims. Lan Xichen merely raises an eyebrow and watches as Nie Huaisang shrinks away from him. “Fine,” Nie Huaisang admits, “maybe I’m a little drunk.” His eyes suddenly widen in an epiphany. “Brother Xichen!” he says. “You do it!”

“Do what?”

“Braid my hair for me!”

Lan Xichen’s world grinds to a halt. “What?”

“My hair! I know you can braid!”

He should not. He most definitely should not. The braid is not for him, it is for an entire sect surnamed “Nie,” and he is not part of that sect. He will never be a part of that sect. The knowledge of the braid is merely a relic left behind by his mother, who had a right to it. It is not for him to indulge in. “Huaisang,” he whispers, “I can’t.”

“You can,” Nie Huaisang insists. “I’ve seen you do it before! Please, Brother Xichen, my fingers are too…too slippery!” He demonstrates by trying to braid his hair. All he succeeds in doing is mashing the strands together. “Brother Xichen,” he whines.

Lan Xichen should not—but Nie Huaisang is staring at him with such open desperation in his eyes, and how can Lan Xichen refuse? So, very quietly, he says, “Okay.”

Braiding Nie Huaisang’s hair is different from braiding his own. Working on the heads of others is entirely new territory for him—he’s never done it before. Not to his mother and not to Lan Wangji. And yet, he finds himself doing it with such ease on Nie Huaisang’s head, carefully untangling knots and twisting them into braids that fall against his robes so neatly that Nie Huaisang marvels at them. “Brother Xichen,” he says once, “you really are good, aren’t you?”

Lan Xichen doesn’t say anything, because lying is forbidden and he doesn’t have the heart to explain to Nie Huaisang that he’s really, really not. So he keeps braiding, long past the grease that crawls up his spine and the terror that sits in his throat, until his own hands are shaking so badly that he can’t braid anymore. He’s done at that point, anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

Nie Huaisang marvels at his reflection in the mirror. “You’re the best, Brother Xichen!” he insists.

Lan Xichen turns away and doesn’t say a word, clutching his own robes tighter around him in a desperate attempt to ward off the shivers that wrack his body. Nie Huaisang, too drunk to notice the change, smothers Lan Xichen with a hug from behind, startling him so badly that he immediately turns around to steady him. “Brother Xichen,” Nie Huaisang whines, “you’re really going to teach me, right?”

“Yes,” Lan Xichen manages through chattering teeth.

“Then I’ll bring my books! I promise!” He bounds out of the room without so much as a goodbye, leaving Lan Xichen clutching at empty air.

He closes his eyes and he’s still shaking. Sleep does not come easy that night.

***

There are good days, and there are bad days. The bad days were getting fewer and fewer, but they hadn’t disappeared—not at all. Two weeks after Nie Huaisang first enlists his help, he has a bad day. He wakes up coated in grease, head too light and too heavy at the same time. His chest aches, his back aches—his very being aches, and he can’t do anything about it.

He does not know if he can help Nie Huaisang today, but he decides to try, anyway.

There is a cup of tea in his hands, scalding hot, when Nie Huaisang bounds through his door, smiling brightly. “Brother Xichen!” he exclaims. “Brother Xichen, I kind of understood what Teacher Lan was talking about today, so I don’t have to take up too much of your time today! I can—Brother Xichen?” He stops abruptly.

Lan Xichen’s head snaps up, eyes wide. “What?”

“Are you alright?”

Lan Xichen swallows. That is a very good question. Unfortunately, it only has one answer. “I don’t feel good.” It’s the only way he can think of to describe the claws that scratch down his neck, leaving his jaw clenched and head bowed. Spiders crawl up his spine, fire burns behind his eyes, and through it all he can only manage to sit still and wait for it to leave him alone.

Carefully, Nie Huaisang sets his books on the table. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“We should start doing your homework.”

“But do you want to talk about it?” Nie Huaisang insists.

Lan Xichen takes in a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

“What do you know, then?”

Lan Xichen’s jaw aches from the effort of keeping it still. Then, very slowly, he raises his hand to his hair and cards his fingers through it, trying to grab hold of a few strands. His hands won’t stay still and suddenly, Lan Xichen knows exactly what he wants. “I want to braid my hair.” He sets his hands down. “But I can’t.”

Nie Huaisang brightens. “Ah, then I’ll braid it for you!”

Lan Xichen bows his head and he can’t find it in himself to turn Nie Huaisang away, so he forces himself to relax as Nie Huaisang places his hands on Lan Xichen’s head, stroking his hair gently. If Lan Xichen closes his eyes, then he can almost pretend it’s his mother doing it for him, instead. Nie Huaisang doesn’t have any calluses on his arms, no scars or discoloration, but he doesn’t need them because his fingers follow the same patterns, do the same dance, and, in the end, he sings the same song.

Lan Xichen’s eyes fly open. “Huaisang!” he gasps. “Where did you hear that song?”

Nie Huaisang blinks, startled. “O-Oh, it’s a common song from Qinghe. Should I not have sung it? I’m sorry if it—”

“No,” Lan Xichen immediately denies. “Don’t stop.”

Hesitantly Nie Huaisang continues. They manage to stay like that for a few seconds before Lan Xichen whispers, “My mother used to sing that song.” Nie Huaisang stops. “She also used to wear these braids and she had a saber and—and her name was Nie Jiaying.”

For a moment, there is silence. Then, “I don’t think I’ve heard that name before,” Nie Huaisang murmurs, lost in thought. “She must have been part of one of the branch families…I’ll look into it, if you want.”

Does he want it? Maybe. He’ll think about it later. For now, he says, “I loved her so much, Huaisang.”

“I know, Brother Xichen. Her loss must have hit you really hard.”

“It was worse on Wangji.”

“But it was still hard on you.”

Lan Xichen squeezes his eyes shut. Then, “I’m still mad at her, though.”

“Why?” He sounds genuinely curious.

“She…she would unbraid my hair and call me the perfect Lan.”

“Is that bad?” Nie Huaisang asks. His head is tilted sideways, genuine confusion resting on his features. “You are amazing, Brother Xichen.”

“But I don’t want to be the perfect Lan.”

“What do you want to be, then?”

Lan Xichen doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone so indulging, so willing to talk to him at his worst moments. Lan Wangji would stay a silent guardian at his side, and his uncle would help him get his mind off of bad thoughts, but Nie Huaisang is here and he’s…he’s talking to him about it. So Lan Xichen answers. “I want to go to the places Mother talked about. I want to go to the forests and see the beasts and wear the braids. I—” he swallows— “I don’t think I want to be a Lan.” And it’s true, he thinks. It’s selfish of him to want so desperately to abandon his home for a place he’s only step foot in a handful of times…but it feels so dear, so intrinsically important to his very being, and he wants it so badly.

Nie Huaisang looks contemplative. “You don’t have to be a Lan. You could join the Nie Sect. Brother definitely wouldn’t stop you.”

“But how can I just leave?” How can he leave his brother? How can he leave his uncle? How can he leave his mother’s saber?

“It doesn’t have to be forever. You could visit. You could come back. I don’t think Grandmaster Lan would stop you, either.”

And then he thinks of telling these ideas to his uncle, who will definitely be against them, and a feeling of such complete and utter helplessness enters him that he can’t blink away the tears that gather in his eyes, and he desperately tries to wipe them away as they fall over onto his cheeks. “He’d be upset,” he sobs. “He wouldn’t let me.”

Immediately, he’s enveloped by a hug—this time from the front. “Brother Xichen,” Nie Huaisang says, “he doesn’t get to decide for you! If you want to run away and join another sect, then he’ll just have to suck it up! And…and he really does adore you, you know. He’d be mad but I don’t think he’d stay mad.”

“And Wangji?” Lan Xichen whispers, still holding him close.

Nie Huaisang pulls back a bit and laughs. “Oh please, Lan Wangji would cheer you on even if you murdered somebody.”

Lan Xichen shakes his head. “He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t.” He can’t believe any of it. They’d hate him for the rest of his days, he’d never get to see them again, and even though he would be free, he’d have to live with the knowledge that his own family hated him. “I can’t do it.”

Nie Huaisang grabs him fiercely by the shoulders. “You can!” he insists. “You’re strong. Everyone believes in you, Brother Xichen, I promise. If anyone can pull it off, then it’s you.” He looks frantic, voice stubborn and unyielding, and Lan Xichen can’t think, doesn’t understand—

Suddenly, Nie Huaisang moves and Lan Xichen doesn’t realize what’s happening until Nie Huaisang’s lips are on his own, and the world grinds to a halt as Nie Huaisang grips the front of Lan Xichen’s robes. For a second, Lan Xichen doesn’t know what to do, but then he tugs Nie Huaisang closer, desperate to keep his warmth, letting it chase away his shivers. It’s a chaste kiss, from what he knows. Lips on lips, completely still, moving only with their breathing, but Lan Xichen wouldn’t change it for the world.

When Nie Huaisang finally does pull back, he presses their foreheads together, not moving to escape Lan Xichen’s grip. “I believe in you,” he says. “I always have. Do what’s right for you, Brother Xichen. I won’t let anyone stop you.”

Lan Xichen bows his head onto Nie Huaisang’s shoulder and decides that, maybe, he’ll give it a shot.

***

Once a year, Lan Wangji skips every class he has for a day and kneels in front of a long-forgotten house in a corner of the Cloud Recesses. It’s always in the snow, where he bears the cold—with plenty to keep him warm, of course.

Today, for the first time in eight years, Lan Xichen kneels with him. Lan Wangji does not turn to look at him, keeping his back straight, staring stubbornly ahead. Lan Xichen starts the conversation. “She deserved so much better,” he says. “I didn’t understand it back then, but she did.” Back then, all he’d known was that his mother wanted to travel but she wasn’t allowed to, and that made him sad. That was all. Now, he comprehends the true horror of what their mother was put through. Being locked away in such a small house for the rest of her days—no wonder she died so early. (And he never did learn how she died. He’s not sure he wants to find out.)

Lan Wangji still doesn’t turn to him, but he says, “She did deserve better.”

Lan Xichen blinks, surprised that his brother responded at all. Then, “I don’t want something like that to ever happen again.”

“I won’t let it.” There is steel in Lan Wangji’s voice, the unbending strength that Lan Xichen knows means that he will keep his word. There will be no more prisoners in the Cloud Recesses as long as Lan Wangji has any say in the matter—and long past it, too.

“It would be easier for a Sect Leader to accomplish that,” Lan Xichen says, forcing his voice to level out.

“I know,” Lan Wangji replies.

“You’d have an easier time if you were Sect Leader.”

Now, there is a brief bit of silence. Hesitation, Lan Xichen knows. Confusion, a break to comprehend new information. Then, “Brother?”

“You’d be a better Sect Leader than me, Wangji.”

“Brother, I’m…I’m not good with this.” With politics. With talking to others. With so many things. As if Lan Xichen is any better.

“But you want to help,” Lan Xichen whispers. “And you can only ever do everything you can if you’re Sect Leader.” Lan Wangji’s heart is pure and radiant, and Lan Xichen sometimes doesn’t know how they could be siblings. People call them the Twin Jades of Lan, but Lan Xichen knows the truth: Lan Wangji is the only Jade. Lan Xichen is an imposter hiding in his silk cocoons.

Lan Wangji stays silent for some more time. Then, “What are you saying?”

“Would you be Sect Leader if you were given the chance? Be honest, Wangji.”

The very world slows around them, as if it, too, is holding its breath for Lan Wangji’s response. And then he says, “Yes. What about you, Brother?”

Lan Xichen hums and closes his eyes. “Mother used to tell me so many stories of far away places. Of brotherhood. Of fights and battle and glory.”

“Is that what Brother wants?”

Lan Xichen thinks of Qinghe and its vast forests, and then the Unclean Realms and its unrestrained inhabitants. “Yes,” he decides. “That’s what I want.”

“Then Brother should have what he wants.”

“So should you, Wangji.”

It’s nothing official, nothing definite, but—at that moment—everything suddenly feels so much easier than it ever was before.

Lan Xichen kneels in the snow with Lan Wangji for the rest of the day, just as he had eight years ago, but now he stands tall and he doesn’t float. When he returns to his rooms, there are a few pieces of candy placed on his table and a letter from Nie Huaisang: “So you don’t forget when we first met.”

Lan Xichen pops one into his mouth and he remembers a night spent laughing with Nie Huaisang in the halls of the Unclean Realms, and he smiles.

For the first time in forever, he looks upon the future and he smiles.

fin

#xisangweek2020 #xisang #lan xichen #nie huaisang #lan wangji #nie mingjue #lxc has a bad time yo #but it gets better!!!#and that's what matters uwu #mdzs #mdzs fanfic #my fic #idk what else to tag this tbh #ummm i hope you like it??#ye that works.#also #sssrha fics

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demonic-cultivar · 4 years

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xisang week day 6: soul-swap

i drew this and then realized i didn’t have a fic idea for it :D but i liked it too much not to post so... here we are!

nhs in lxc’s body is the spitting image of sqq and i was not ready for that information

#xisang #xisangweek2020 #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mdzs #homegrown art #nhs #i hopefully will have a lil unrelated fic on today's themes later tomorrow #along with tomorrow's entry #this week has been so busy!!!

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noppoh · 4 years

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NEW FIC

Title: Strangers

Author: Noppoh

Fandom: Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Untamed

Pairing: Lan Xichen x Nie Huaisang

Rating: T

Status: Complete

Word Count: 2070

Summary:

“I am terribly sorry,” Nie Huaisang said, looking at the man over the rim of his fan. “Mr…”

“Stag,” the man answered. “And it’s quite alright.” His eyes flitted over Nie Huaisang’s stylish, more traditional robes, before lingering on his mask. “Although I would love to know your name.”

“How bold of you to ask for a name at a masquerade event,” Nie Huaisang said with a soft laugh.

“With a man dressed as finely as you, I could only try.”

AO3:https://archiveofourown.org/works/26913838

#Noppoh #Strangers #xisangweek2020 #lan xichen #nie huaisang #xisang #shameless flirting #masquerade ball #established relationship #although they pretend not to know each other

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argendriel · 4 years

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Xisang week 2020 Day 1 - First Kiss. This is kinda related to my other Xisang picture with the Cold Spring. There's a fic waiting to be written for it but I'm super out of practice with writing so it'll be.. a while until I actually manage to write it.

(P.S.: Drawing kisses is haaard)

(P.P.S: Day 2 will actually be for day 1 but I had to!)

#Xisang #Xisang week 2020 #xisangweek2020 #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #mdzs fanart #my art

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argendriel · 4 years

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Because I couldn't manage a more detailed version for every picture, I decided to fall back upon my all time favourite: Doing pictures in the style of Okami.

Xisang-week day 5- Lantern.

#xisangweek2020 #xisang #lan xichen #nie huaisang #mo dao zu shi #mdzs fanart #okami style #my art

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ibijau · 4 years

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Xisang Week Day 3: Shifter / Royalty / Fairy Tale

the leopard was mostly traced because animals? Not really my thing :D

I’m dedicating this one in particular to the Xisang discord, since the snow leopard shifter!Nie is that AU everyone brings back after heavy angst has been discussed XD

Two pairs of eyes watched as Lan Xichen walked away from the house. Nie Huaisang growled in warning so Lan Wangji knew to move away. Disappointed but understanding, his friend left the comfortable position they had found, Lan Wangji laying his head on Nie Huaisang stomach, both of them enjoying the warm sun of early summer on the porch. While Lan Wangji went inside to put away his book, Nie Huaisang yawned and started stretching his whole body with intent until his fur disappeared and his bones returned to their other shape.

Like this, furless in the morning air, the sun felt less warm. Before Nie Huaisang could start shivering, Lan Wangji returned so they could do like Lan Xichen and head out for breakfast.

As they walked side by side, an idea that had been bothering Nie Huaisang for a while struck him again.

“I think gege doesn’t like me,” he sighed.

Lan Wangji shot him a surprised look, but said nothing. He never said much, even if he was really old enough he should have spoken well. He used to do it a bit more, but his mother had died a little before Nie Huaisang’s father, and now he was a really quiet person.

“Gege never tries to pet me,” Nie Huaisang explained in a tone of self evidence. “Everyone does, but not gege, so he doesn’t like me.”

For being silent, the look Lan Wangji threw him had plenty to say. First, that Nie Huaisang was a little self-centered, because adults never tried to pet him, and at very nearly ten Lan Xichen was obviously almost an adult. Second, that Nie Huaisang didn’t like it when random people tried to touch his snow leopard form without his permission, leading to the two of them often hiding together for hours to avoid the attention since Nie Huaisang had arrived to the Cloud Recesses, a few weeks before.

“He always frowns when he sees me being a leopard,” Nie Huaisang continued, never one to give up on an idea. “And then he smiles, but it’s not a real smile. He shouldn’t smile so much like that if it’s not real. And also he really, really never tries to pet me and that’s weird and I think he hates me."

"Brother likes everyone,” Lan Wangji retorted, offended enough by this attack on his brother’s character to let his voice be heard.

‘People who like everyone often like no one,’ Nie Huaisang’s father told him once, in the days before everything went so wrong. Nie Huaisang had listened and committed that to memory, because back then his father was the strongest and wisest man in the whole entire world. Now though, he wasn’t so sure anymore. Lan Xichen clearly loved his brother a lot, and he looked sad when people mentioned his mother so he must have loved her too. Besides, Nie Huaisang no longer believed his father to be so wise anyway.

At the end, his father had just turned out to be mean and scary, and then he’d died and that was a relief, even if Nie Huaisang wasn’t supposed to say or even think that. And now Nie Mingjue, busy with getting the sect in order, had sent his brother away to Gusu for safety when Nie Huaisang only wanted to be with him, and that too was their father’s fault.

Everything was their father’s fault.

“Gege likes everyone except me,” Nie Huaisang grumbled, feeling some tears threatening at the corner of his eyes after making the mistake of thinking of his family.

It was silly that it bothered him so much whether Lan Xichen liked him or not, and he knew adults would probably have scolded him for it. It was bad of him to bask so much in the attention he received for his other form, to want everyone’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t help it. At home he was nothing special, but since coming to Gusu, everyone treated him like he was extraordinary.

Everyone except Lan Xichen.

It had been nearly a decade since Nie Huaisang’s first stay in the Cloud Recesses, but the place hadn’t changed much… and neither had he. Certainly the circumstances were different, he was there to study rather than to be protected from the power struggles that followed his father’s death, but everything else was much the same.

So when another guest student asked whether it was true that members of the Nie clan were cursed, Nie Huaisang quickly turned into his feline form as answer.

As he had as a young child, Nie Huaisang delighted in the gasps of shock and fear that followed. He was now old enough to understand that none of them could change, though it still puzzled how anyone could live perpetually on two legs. Nie Huaisang pitied them, really, and that was part of why he was always so willing to transform for the entertainment of others, almost an apology for being better than them.

Mostly though, he enjoyed this rare chance to feel superior.

After the first moment of fear and horror, the other boys quickly recovered, their emotions turning to wonder and curiosity.

“Is it really a curse?"

"Where do your clothes go?"

"Does it hurt?"

“Can the curse be transmitted?”

"Can I touch you?"

The last question was repeated a few times, making Nie Huaisang shiver when they all tried to pet his fur. It always scared him a little how quickly people forgot he was a person, and tried to touch him with a disrespect for boundaries they’d never dare to have when he was human. When he was younger he didn’t mind it so much, but the more he grew, the less he tolerated the touch of strangers. Still, he sat still, his head hung low to give them permission.

People never liked it when he refused to be pet, and he wanted to be liked so badly.

Just as the boldest of the other boys dared to bury a hand into the fur of his neck, a voice rang behind them.

"What is going on here?” Lan Xichen asked.

On pure instinct, Nie Huaisang dropped on his stomach to show he meant no trouble, looking up at his brother’s friend who seemed upset.

He always seemed upset around Nie Huaisang.

“Lan gongzi, that’s Nie gongzi !” one boy exclaimed, as if Lan Xichen might not have known that. “Isn’t it amazing? He’s cursed but he was going to let us pet him!"

If Nie Huaisang had missed the frown on the older boy’s face, the smell of his anger was unmistakable. He made himself lay even flatter on the ground, a little scared he might have gotten in trouble on his very first day there.

"I am well aware this is Nie gongzi, I recognise him,” Lan Xichen said with a pleasant smile. “I understand you are all new to the Cloud Recesses, but we have rules that must be respected. Unnecessary noise is frowned upon. Besides, it will soon be time for dinner, and you should start heading to the dining halls to make sure you get there on time.”

His voice was calm, gentle even, and he wasn’t that much older than them, but not a single one of them would have dared to object. Such was the effect that Lan Xichen had on people. Even Nie Huaisang quickly returned to his other shape so he could obey, but Lan Xichen stopped him from following the others.

“You should not use your gift like this,” he mildly scolded.

Nie Huaisang nodded, because his brother had often told him the same. It was one thing to shift whenever he pleased inside the Unclean Realm, where there were many others like him, but away from home he ought to have been more cautious.

“I won’t do it again, Lan gongzi,” he mumbled. “I swear, the whole time I’m here I’ll stay human."

"I wouldn’t ask that of you,” Lan Xichen protested. “It would be cruel of me. But exercise more caution, at least around people who you do not know well.”

“That's…"

"Just then, you seemed uncomfortable, right?” Lan Xichen asked, a little unsure now. “Or did I misunderstand the situation?"

Hesitantly, Nie Huaisang nodded again. It surprised him that Lan Xichen could read the body language of his other form. Outside of Qinghe Nie, few people could, unless they had a deep connection to a Nie. But of course, that was the case of Lan Xichen, who was so close to Nie Mingjue, so it shouldn’t have surprised him.

"You shouldn’t let people touch you if you don’t like it,” Lan Xichen admonished, to which Nie Huaisang could only nod again. Lan Xichen sighed. “Huaisang…"

Nie Huaisang looked at the other boy, hunching his shoulder as he awaited more reprimand, perhaps even punishment for making trouble already. Lan Xichen no longer seemed angry though. A little disappointed, almost sad, but not angry. Or, well, disappointed for sure. But sad? He had no reason to be sad, so Nie Huaisang had to be misreading that part.

"Yes, Lan gongzi?"

Lan Xichen sighed and shook his head.

"Nothing. We should go too, it wouldn’t do for us to be late to dinner."

"Yes, Lan gongzi."

Another sigh, and when Nie Huaisang looked again, Lan Xichen’s expression was definitely somewhat sad.

"I wouldn’t mind if you used my name,” he said with uncharacteristic hesitation. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. After all, you call my brother by name."

"Oh but it’s different, Wangji is my friend!” Nie Huaisang protested. “I really could not disrespect you like this!"

Lan Xichen pinched his lips, and turned away.

"Let’s just go. We’re really going to be late otherwise."

He started walking without waiting for Nie Huaisang who could only follow a few steps behind, wondering if he had somehow offended the other boy.

They made it on time for dinner, but only just. Lan Qiren threw Nie Huaisang an angry glare, as if it were his fault if his perfect nephew had nearly broken a rule.

Nie Huaisang sighed as he dug into his meatless meal, and promised himself to avoid Lan Xichen in the future.

Classes were a nightmare, and Nie Huaisang was sure he’d have to come back another year.

Meals were a nightmare, and he often had to go secretly hunt at night just to have some meat.

Other students were a nightmare, angry at him whenever he refused to change into his other form to amuse them.

So far, Nie Huaisang did not much enjoy his time in the Cloud Recesses.

At least, there was Lan Wangji, whose companionship was still so pleasant after all these years. Even though they had both grown and changed in many ways, in others they were still the same, able to spend endless hours in comfortable silence together. Anyone else needed to beg or threaten to get Nie Huaisang to transform before them these days, but all Lan Wangji needed was a glance and it was a done thing.

As the weeks passed, Nie Huaisang found himself visiting his friend every chance he had. Whenever it was warm enough, they would be on the porch together, Nie Huaisang laying in the sun in his animal shape, Lan Wangji sitting against him with a book or a piece of music he needed to study. Lan Qiren was never happy to find them like that, but could find nothing in his precious rules to forbid it. Lan Wangji usually just ignored him, obeying rules to the letter and refusing to consider other matters. As for Nie Huaisang, after a shichen spent in that form, he couldn’t care about things as useless as propriety and etiquette.

Everything was so much simpler when he was a snow leopard.

Everything, except Lan Xichen’s disapproval.

At least, Nie Huaisang thought of it as disapproval. Lan Wangji had more than once assured him that his brother bore him no ill-will, even hinting that he thought his friend was the one to bring coldness and distance into their acquaintance, but Nie Huaisang knew better. Lan Xichen always stayed a step or two away from him, especially when he was in his animal form, and he had that look on his face if he saw him playing with others as a leopard in the Cloud Recesses… though he usually had his expression more under control if Nie Huaisang was only with Lan Wangji, so of course his brother wouldn’t have noticed.

It really upset Nie Huaisang that Lan Xichen disliked him like that, though he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was just that Lan Xichen clearly liked Nie Mingjue and Lan Wangji so much, who were also Nie Huaisang’s favourite people in the world, and it stung that the affection couldn’t be extended to him.

It was almost fall, but the weather was still warm that afternoon, so of course Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji were together on the porch of the house the latter shared with his uncle and brother.

Until then, it had not been a very pleasant day for Nie Huaisang. The results of his last batch of exams had arrived, confirming something he had known for months: he was an idiot, and would need to return the year after to try learning what everyone else had managed in one year. His brother would be furious, just as Lan Qiren had been angry at this stain on his career as a teacher. Well, Nie Huaisang assumed he was angry. He hadn’t said anything, but of course he had to be angry.

At least, in his other shape, those things stopped mattering. As long as he could lay in the sun and enjoy Lan Wangji’s company, Nie Huaisang was a happy snow leopard.

Of course, even that was ruined when Lan Xichen appeared on the path to the house and walked right toward them, carrying a message from his uncle who requested Lan Wangji’s presence. Usually ever obedient, it was clear that Lan Wangji felt somewhat reluctant to leave his friend when he had been crying so much earlier, before taking on his animal form. Still, open rebellion was not in Lan Wangji’s nature and he quickly went, leaving his poor friend in the company of his brother.

Unwilling to annoy Lan Xichen, Nie Huaisang forced himself to turn back into a human. It took effort, as it always did when he was upset, but he managed.

“You could have stayed like that,” Lan Xichen said with a hint of a frown. “You’ve had a rough day. Isn’t it easier for Nie people to handle their emotions in their other shape?”

Nie Huaisang felt himself blush at the accusation and looked away. It was true, of course. The instant he’d become human again, the pain of failing his exams so badly had quickly returned, with now the added shame of being told he was too emotional over this. It really was too much. Nie Huaisang was sure he was going to cry if he stayed human too long, and it made him almost angry that Lan Xichen could be so dismissive with him when he was usually so kind to others.

"Lan gongzi, why do you dislike me so much?” he asked, hating how whiny he sounded but unable to help himself.

Lan Xichen startled and stared at him, eyes wide with surprise.

“Why would you think such a thing?"

"When you look at me, you often have that expression on your face,” Nie Huaisang explained with a shrug, daring to meet his eyes. “And you’re always looking at me if you’re nearby, like I’m going to make trouble otherwise. I won’t, you know! I’m trying hard not to! And then, also…"

"Also?"

Nie Huaisang shook his head. "No, it’s stupid. It’s really nothing. And it’s fine if you don’t like me!"

"I’m sure your concerns are not stupid,” Lan Xichen replied in an oddly strangled voice. “Tell me what I’ve done to make you believe I dislike you, so that I may correct it in the future."

It was an odd thing to say, as if it mattered what Nie Huaisang believed. Still, ordered to speak, it would have been wrong to stay silent.

"Everyone tries to touch me in my other form,” he explained. “But you never do. Even when we were little… You’ve really disliked me from the start, I guess?"

"I haven’t!” Lan Xichen cried out with emotion, before quickly regaining his composure. “Huaisang, I’ve never disliked you. And I’ve been… I’ve been as tempted by your fur as everyone else,” he admitted, some colour rising on his cheeks. “Even when I was little. But everyone was always touching you, often without your permission, so I thought it would be wrong to ask. I’ve long thought if you ever want to be pet by me you will say so, and otherwise it is better to leave you alone, since you are already pestered by so many others."

"Lan gongzi, I think that’s the kindest thing anyone has ever told me,” Nie Huaisang spluttered, his heart racing so fast and so hard that it nearly made him dizzy.

Nobody else ever seemed to care what he preferred in terms of boundaries, except Lan Wangji… but even he had had to learn over time, and at first he had imposed himself as much as all the others. Aside from that, the only people who hadn’t tried to pet Nie Huaisang upon seeing his other form were those who got too scared.

“If that’s the case, I’ll have a word with your brother,” Lan Xichen retorted with a warm smile that, for once, reached his eyes. “You deserve more kindness than that, Huaisang."

His cheeks ablaze, Nie Huaisang pouted.

"Now you’re teasing, Lan gongzi. But… So, you would want to?"

"Would you?” Lan Xichen retorted, his face a little redder in spite of the calm of his voice.

It was tempting to say no, just to see what would happen. If it had been anyone else, Nie Huaisang would have put the other person to the test, refusing to be touched yet still transform to tempt them. But Lan Xichen wasn’t just any person, he had proved already he would respect Nie Huaisang’s choice.

And as to whether Nie Huaisang wanted it or not…

It had always bothered him that Lan Xichen alone wouldn’t try to pet him in his other form. Part of it was just that he liked attention. But even after he had started disliking the touch of most others, he had still wondered about Lan Xichen. If he gave scratches half as good as Lan Wangji's… and with those long fingers of his, delicate enough for a guqin, strong enough for a bow, how could he not?

In a heartbeat, Nie Huaisang made his choice and turned into his other shape once more, quickly walking closer to Lan Xichen. The older boy knelt down next to him, but still made no movement to touch him.

“You didn’t really answer my question, Huaisang,” he noted, sounding somewhat amused.

A fair remark, and one that made Nie Huaisang’s heart clench in emotion. He didn’t want to turn back into a human, so instead he rubbed himself against Lan Xichen’s knees, hoping the invitation would be clear enough.

It must have been. Lan Xichen chuckled, and ran one hand through the thick fur on Nie Huaisang’s back.

“It’s softer than I thought,” Lan Xichen whispered in awe, a bright smile on his lips. “Worth the wait, certainly. Thank you for allowing me."

For a moment, Nie Huaisang feared the other boy would leave it at that, content with this single touch. He was happily proven wrong when Lan Xichen gently pet his head, letting his fingers glide behind one ear to lightly scratch there, right where it felt the best.

Nie Huaisang didn’t even realise he had started purring until Lan Xichen’s hands stilled on the back of his head.

"Is it you making that noise?” he gasped.

Nie Huaisang nodded, still purring. In this form he never felt as much embarrassment as when he was human, so he shamelessly nuzzled again Lan Xichen’s wrist, silently begging for him to resume scratching him. Even Lan Wangji and Nie Mingjue, who knew him so well, didn’t do it half as well.

“You really are full of surprises, Huaisang,” Lan Xichen said with a gentle laugh.

Nie Huaisang purred louder, pressing himself harder against the other boy until he ended up half on Lan Xichen’s lap. A great place to be, although the more human part of him would probably die of shame later, when he would return to his other form and realise what he had done.

A problem for later.

At that moment, laying on Lan Xichen’s legs and with his head scratched to perfection, Nie Huaisang was the happiest he had ever been, and nothing could spoil that.

#xisangweek2020 #xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mdzs #NHS&LWJ AS BFF AGENDA HECK YEAH #tbh I think 99% of the discussions about this AU end up being about lwj having bff priviledge and everyone being jealous?XD #anyway sorry I've brought maybe a touch of angst into this (literally) fluffy AU XD

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