#xtcy

[thraveenperera]

#kim kardashian west #kylie jenner #kendall jenner #kourtney kardashian #kris jenner #XTCY

[bejahimself]

💊

@bejahimself

#Kanye West #Ye #XTCY #hip hop #bejahimself

[motionsicknesschic]

#xtcy

[badxtaste]

You got sick thoughts? I got more of 'em

#bad✖️taste #ye #xtcy

[freetensi0n]

XTCY Productions 2021

@jaiphora x @fifivida on ig

[birdsinthetrap666]

i love this song i never see anyone talking about it

this demo/alt version is cool too seems like it was scrapped from yandhi (yeah i’ll be waiting forever idc)

#music #ye #kanye west

[n1ntendos]

also idk where to put this because it's been quite literally eating away at me, like i know i need to talk to my actual partner about this rather than my diary or the internet, but i've talked abt it before on here how he is struggling with addiction, and as someone struggling with it myself i also understand completely.

he's been sober since november but whenever we talk about it he straddles the line between telling me he no longer feels the urge to do it and is glad he quit, but then talking about good memories he had of the past when he was in his active addiction, how he'd do it with his best friends (this is another reason why i really don't like hanging out with his friends, because this social aspect, according to him, is the most tempting thing that makes him want to do it again), how he misses those "good ol'" days, etc. like it just completely confuses me and makes me very upset. to clarify the substances we're talking about here is coke, alcohol, weed, xtcy, shrooms, and lsd. his addiction to weed is pretty bad and it was more of a social thing, coke he hasn't done since 2019 but says he misses it since it was a fun party drug and he doesn't see anything wrong with it, shrooms he does mostly on festivals. but while under the influence of all this he did very risky stuff that put his life in danger (crashing into a bus, driving under influence, drinking/doing drugs all day and night, etc.) that he sees as fun and honestly minimizes the danger of, in my opinion, then tells me i'm overexaggerating when i say it's dangerous.

alcohol, my thing, is something that is definitely tempting esp in social settings but is something i definitely do not miss, i don't have good memories associated with it, and it makes me feel awful, there's no pleasure associated with it. obv the high of weed and coke and stuff is incomparable to alcohol.

he says that he doesn't feel cravings because i help him through it, but then tells me that if he wants to start smoking again he'll do it, "sorry", because he's a grown man and it's his life, which just confuses the hell out of me.

i was the one who asked him to stop smoking weed because it made him binge eat and then starve himself (which eventually developed into an eating disorder) and have issues with other things, it also made me feel very far away from him, disconnected when he got high. he would also drive me when he was high and i was really scared we'd crash. that convo where i asked him to stop was really difficult and it felt like he minimized a lot of these worries i brought up, either to convince me or maybe himself that nothing was wrong, which made me feel really invalidated. and obv i didn't tell him i feel invalidated because i'm terrified of confrontation, and i felt like i was controlling him or being bossy by wanting him to stop.

i just don't want to upset him by telling him how i feel and the confusion of it because i don't know myself how the fuck i feel and how to properly articulate it, and this is a really complex and difficult issue, because i have a feeling he misses the time period he was getting high at and active addiction because it was fun, social, and nice, but at the same time he knows it's better for his health to be sober. i just don't know if i should even talk to him about this and HOW to even talk to him about this, because the part where he basically said "yeah sorry i'm a grown man and if i want to do it i'll do it" really hurt me for reasons i can't explain.

it all makes me wonder if this relationship is even worth it and if the future is something i see for us? because this is like the elephant in the room that is really painful for me

#addiction tw

[ax-ky]

#Spotify

[lsdgrl]

Xtcy

[selfrighteous2012]

#xtcy

#Spotify

[nullheaven]

#kanye west #music #Spotify

[grlonth3m00n]

it’s ye day

[rated-r-bby]

i love xtcy

[jed4h]

save the world from xtcy or something like that idk

#y2k fashion #poc aesthetic #fashion #model aesthetic #graffiti #ootd #Spotify #streetwear

[discos-e-pensamentos]

Christmas In Harlem

White Dress

All Day

Ye vs. The People

Lift Yourself

XTCY

Eazy

Cold

True Love

Bittersweet Poetry

City of Gods

Mercy

New God Flow

Impossible

Heavy Hitters - Dirty

Selfish

Has To Be-Madonna

[silvxxrsurfxxr]

#Spotify