#y'all ever have that fear??

[schneiderenjoyer]

My depiction of Vertin is very normal.

Based on this comic

#reverse 1999 #verneider #vertin x schneider #vertin #schneider #together within the rubble #this is specifically calling out TWTR!Vertin and i'll never not laugh at that fact that I made them this way #everyone talks about sonetto having separation anxiety when i personally feel like vertin would have a better chance of it #her constant desire to connect with people but not be too close out of fear of getting attached. their drive to always grant people's wishe #the constant paranoia and fear that everything she ever knows and loves will be swept away by the Storm and leaving her the sole survivor #the fact vertin would rather tell them to go ahead rather than wait for them to make that decision first #y'all this timekeeper can hold so much trauma

[babacontainsmultitudes]

80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.

#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha #I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours... #''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months #Like #Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death #But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky! #I worry a lot about wasting my life #I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death #Or a painful one #I suppose I've always been gerascophobic... #But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately... #I haven't been great I guess #I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!! #And I've been going nowhere. #:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think #Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me. #*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol #😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old #🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent #working on some different stuff for a bit. #ANYWAYS #I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️ #oh or day if it's day for you lol

[kishimotomasashi]

“Civilization is coming. And it means to exterminate us.”

Naruto Shippuden (2007) // Black Sails (2014)

#naruto #naruto shippuden #mygif #edit #send post #edit: I was gonna post this one last but like I remembered Hashirama's birthday and so I will be posting that gifset on his birthday #Obviously one or two words were changed here to make it fit #shout-out tumblr user sasukelandia for making the post that gave me this idea in the first place #I was gonna remove the ''god-fearing tax-paying'' part but like. it's integral to the quote. #I generally don't want to change up the quotes TOO much I have like. a weird thing against it. a weird personal thing. #so assume ''god'' here is the concept of the village itself and ''tax-paying'' is being a ninja lol #You could imagine that it's Nagato saying this but tbh when I was making this I was going for a general vibe #many rogue ninja could not make it into this gifset and I apologize to them #Btw y'all ever think about how cold it is for the Akatsuki to wear headbands with their old village symbol crossed out #Other rogue nin either don't wear the headband anymore or simply keep it without changing it much #Whoever had the crossing out the headband as a uniform to send a message idea was a genius. I am going to pretend that Konan was the one who #came up with it. I also think she came up with the robes as well. #There are some good things in Naruto. #Hidden villages rogue ninja dehumanization is insane the fact that leaving your village is a death sentence.......... #They had a bounty on 12 year old baby-faced Sasuke's head for leaving to a place in which he was almost certain to be killed........... #fucking hell. anyways. #sincerely hope this colouring is better than for the Hashirama one lmao #6th gif gave me so much grief with the file size #Those tsukuyomi filler episodes with cop Sasuke were AWFUL but at least they gave me a good visual for the 3rd gif so. #everything has its uses! #naruto // black sails #queuekage

[izzyspussy]

i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

#jack facts #people be banging on about empathy this empathy that #and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what #that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol #and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before #i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know! #or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water'' #or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia #or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me'' #etc etc etc etc etc #anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept #and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity #the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING #to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy #and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad #but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective #and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person #or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation #another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm #done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations #that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over #i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions #and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol #like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like #fear. hunger. pain. #absolutely fucking exhausting

[m4ruk4ts]

to the 5 oc x canon enjoyers in the yfm fandom: can.......can i join........pls......

#y'all have. No idea the amount of courage this took to post #i'm aware i might be overreacting at this point. But i mean it when i say that i've always been insecure about this #cringe culture is no more. I know!!!! but somehow i always keep going back to the same spot as ever and end up not posting any of these #both out of fear and embarrassment #so basically. I'm a coward lmao #i hope i don't end up deleting this in the future #because these two make me really happy as of now. So yeah #lmao i ended up venting in the tags #Cringe!!!!!!!!! #anyways #oc x canon #yfm #your favorite martian #yfm oc #maxel #my art

[blueberrybanee]

Me after finally facing my fears and getting a wolfcut + my ears pierced for the first time within the last 4 days;

#The edit is just for the meme I promise #It conveys all of my emotions so well #Seriously I have NEVER felt better about myself ever #So excited!!! I feel so much happier with both of these #So happy I braved out the fear because it was worth it :DDD #I could've made my own edit but I don’t have the storage space rn..... #Once I finally get Scenecore into my wardrobe it's over for y'all /j #wolfcut #piercings #earrings #studs

[yomakairesident]

I actually hate hallucinating so much, actually!

#I really wish I could talk to someone about this #But I haven't told anyone I know in fear of being sent to a mental hospital or something. Wack. #Also #Most people don't care unless they can find it funny which. I mean. That's better than being mad I guess?? #I hate having to relive the same memories at Least bi-weekly #I super appreciate the community here. Love y'all! #I really hope things get better soon. I'm so exhausted. I haven't slept without a nightmare in a while and it usually doesn't matter #but you can only watch awful things happen in so many ways before you start to see it as depressing. #There's this shadow thing that sometimes likes to scare me into not sleeping #I feel so ridiculous saying this. I can't explain it well enough to not sound like a child. I hate having to get up ever 30 or so minutes #to check every entrance and room in my house people could/would be 😭😭 #Sorry for just drama dumping. I appreciate the listen. I'm sorry. No one is gonna read my novel here but if you did I love you!! #I also hope you had a great day!!

[slverblood]

tfw you think you've beaten the grief of child loss by having an immortal daughter but instead must know that immortality was leeched and used to imprison her in torment for a century, that she will always be a target for similar attempts in the future

#OOC / HOLLY. #there's a part of me that wants Aylin to achieve her goal of apotheosis #but if y'all want the realest truth ever spoken #she'd sacrifice all of it for Isobel #Arwen vc: I would rather spend one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone #[we're not going ham on Arwen themes tho I'll go too deep with it and ultimately they're different] #[she really is more Disney Hercules skldfhgj] #smth smth Selûne having to make peace with loss and somehow granting her daughter mortality so she can be with her love #and be free of all the conflict that is inherent in Aylin's particular immortality #smth about how Shar is arguably weaponizing Selûne's fear of losing her daughter #and the only real way to thwart that is to make peace with loss instead #this is getting away from me but Ketheric + Isobel 🤝 Selûne + Aylin y'know?

[advestager]

I feel like saying Josuke doesn't have any daddy issues whatsoever isn't entirely fair (I've seen some fic and comics go further into how he and his mom might have been treated due to the circumstances of his birth that were pretty compelling) but people who act like he grew up without any father figure are definitely off base imo. Every single adaptation and extra material have always had a focus on his close relationship with his grandpa for a reason!

see, that's precisely the thing. it is literally impossible to be a grown up human without having internalised some sort of illogical Feeling about oneself or the world – but fandom as a whole tends to just assign arbitrary ones to characters based on stereotypes rather than what they actually are like.

i do think josuke feels some sort of way about his lack of a father growing up, but that's as inevitable as joseph himself (or giorno, or jolyne, or even jonathan) having feelings about his own dad, and yet somehow jorge's absence does not get brought up despite joseph and josuke's fairly similar upbringings. the fact is that most of western fandom tends to view the JJBA characters through a (white, usa-centric) lens that simply does not lend itself to a fair or accurate reading when most of the cast is either POC or from an entirely different cultural background. that's why i'm so resistant to label josuke as having 'daddy issues'; the term means something entirely different to me than it seems to do to most of the fandom, based on all the fic, comics, and discussions i've seen (and had) about the topic. it's not exactly like the organised crime aspect of VA, but it fills me with a similar kind of frustration. i don't think one needs a degree in cultural studies or history or whatnot to enjoy a silly series about people punching each other with slutty soul-ghosts, but it's exhausting to see the same thoughtless, very specifically westernised takes being regurgitated over and over as Absolute Truth until the characters are so flanderised they seem nothing as much as a caricature of their original versions. i love transformative works as much as any other fan creator, but i also happen to like the source material. it is infinitely more interesting to me to think about what kind of relationship josuke might have to his heritage as a mixed-race person, or his identity as the son of a single mother or the obviously cherished and spoilt child of a family such as his own (especially in a place and period like canon's late-90s/early 00's japan), than to hear yet another iteration of 'haha, josuke has daddy issues' where the person saying it has no intention of analysing that premise beyond the puddle-depth obvious.

at barely sixteen years old, even as interested in high-end fashion (and as very much part of a working class family who could definitely use the nest egg) as he is, josuke's immediate reaction to being told his missing father is incredibly rich and wants to take care of him is to say that it's not necessary, and he's fine as he is. sixteen. i worked as a teacher with kids as young as a year old and people as old as mid-seventies; that kind of ease of mind is one-in-a-million and not something you'll find on someone who fits fandom's definition of 'daddy issues'. he's not angry at joseph, he's not grasping for money, he hardly even wants to find out more about the missing part of his origins. his only thought is to wish he wouldn't be the reason other people were hurt, and to protect his mother once there is a risk she might find out and be distressed about it. his entire morality system is (from what i remember of canon) mostly based around the question What Would Grandpa Do?, with some leeway allowed for the temper he clearly got from tomoko and for the fact that he is, again, a big and slightly spoilt sixteen year old.

so yeah. it might not sound fair to say he doesn't have daddy issues, but i don't think the terms fandom's operating under are fair to start with, so i'd rather recuse myself (and my interpretation of the character) from it all til we're playing the same game. the sandbox's wide and wild, and the block and mute buttons are there for a reason, so i'll just stay in my corner writing about higashikatas wielding their feelings like sledgehammers til my mum says it's time to go home.

#tl;dr: everyone's absolutely entitled to their opinion! i just happen to find the most common one the equivalent of soap-flavoured cilantro #i definitely agree with the part about his rship with his grandfather! it's a whole thing in my own writing for them #it's just 'daddy issues' has become shorthand for a combination of takes i quite dislike the past few years #so yeah. i'll just... Not. if y'all don't mind #(i do think Other characters have daddy issues in the traditional sense. and even in the popular modern sense. but not josuke particularly) #anyway i hope this doesn't read as confrontational as i fear it sounds bc that was. so not my intention orz #ty for the ask!!!! i really love discussing character analysis i'm just rly tired rn so i probably sound super Debate Team Mode haha #ps ryohei was 100000% josuke's favourite person in the world growing up and he's still tomoko's special baby gremlin at age 50 pass it on #josuke higashikata #jojo #the funny thing abt my fic is i'm really at ease abt posting my shippy stuff bc it's just like. treating myself to sth nice #and then sharing with everyone as a bonus #but the stuff where i actually talk abt familial and platonic rships for my faves lives in eternal development hell bc i just LOVE it #and never feel like it's perfect enough to share. it's never complete because it's always evolving #which is why i once wrote a novel allegedly about detectives in love but in reality about 100kish of family/friendship character analysis #meaning there was no way this ask could've ever been answered succinctly lol #ask tag #joji.txt #joosk #anonymous

[koipepper]

The birds and the bunny

#sketch #sketchbook #doodles #trying to warm back up to the idea of being an artist or whatever #it's not going great! #so i realized roadrunners are p iconic #and I've only ever seen one???? #I've lived out here my whole life and spent soooooo much time out in the sticks what the fuck #ive seen the wild turkeys and California quails and bluejays and vultures and everything #every fucking bug imaginable (literal hell for a child with a fear of them) #(have y'all seen our giant ants??? the fucking potato bugs????) #but only one goddamn roadrunner :( #I've run into more rattlesnakes.....

[soldier-poet-king]

Anyway had an absolutely horrifying experience last night and yes it was genuinely traumatizing and tbh I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep in my room without fear again and my anxiety is through the roof and I've been SO productive at work today trying to distract mysel and not cry. But like. I will not go into detail, it will suffice to say it involved bugs and specifically, those nasty house centipedes, which I'm more afraid of than anything in the world, even spiders

#whatever you're thinking i promise you the reality is probably worse #franposting #bugs cw #genuinely i need to bleach my whole body and burn down the house and never sleep ever again #NOTHING IS SAFE #my SANCTUARY SAFE SPACE (small private barely 100 ft room) #has been ruined. genuinely #genuinely afraid to be in there rn #its SO STUPID bc its like #a bug. cant hurt me. BUT I HAVE A PHOBIA #tbh. mice would be better. a rat. a snake. #idgaf bugs are the fuckin worst #idk how y'all who live in places where roaches are common survive #i have seen one (1) roach in my whole life and it wasnt even in a house and i live in fear of them #tbh. tbh. tbh. I'm genuinely trying not to cry bc the work day is almost over and im afraid to go home #ik that sounds hyperbolic but pls believe me for once i am being dead serious i am so genuinely anxious #like rating my fears. theyre all intangible existential things+ bugs with too many legs + claustrophobia #THOSE MF CENTIPDES THO #why Do they EXIST

[moonstrider9904]

It's just one of those nights, I guess

#part of why i'm going to do this in tags is because i'm too scared of making my blog a bitter place #again #but today being on tumblr felt so alienating #like everything i throw is into the void #and i have this crippling fear that everyone including the people i consider friends secretly hate me #like i'm not worthy of support or forgiveness or even the benefit of the doubt goddammit #i never thought i could be so invisible #and i am so torn between wanting to fit in and maybe not giving a crap what others think of me #but i'm not made of stone and i want the support i give and see others giving each other #i'm not even motivated enough to write because what even is the point?? it feels like no one ever sees it #and i didn't want to feel this way again especially when i was already doing so well and i really want my blog to be a happy place #but today broke me y'all #i didn't need to be reminded of how much i'll be judged and hated just for liking what i like #especially after welcoming people who felt the same way i do #fuck i'm rambling #anyways i just needed to vent #i hate feeling this way #if you're out there and i have your support can you please just let me know? #even if it's replying with a simple dot you don't know how much i'd appreciate it #anyways good night i need to sleep

[mondscheinprinzessin]

You go to therapy with your problems. But sometimes, you go out of therapy with the realization that you have far more problems than you thought you had😅

#we're talking about social situations and my fears about them and oh boy I wasn't aware of how damn anxious I am around certain things #and realted to me playing with my fingers and never taking eye contact and such and generally being fearful when holding conversations- #and being very insecure about the way I act and I may be perceived #she asked if ever something happened that made me feel like I was weird/wrong/awkward with myself #and like no I have always been like this since I was a child💀 #thanks @ my parents for never thinking their child may have problems one round of applaus to you being obivious as fuck #also had a short moment of my brain going: oh no you're doing this too well youre too good you have to tone it down- #if she realizes you have your act together and apply all these tools you don't need therapy #like.....what #that was it from me this wednesday have a great evening y'all

[applejongho]

I need advice: I do not know what to do with my hair

#so fun fact about me is that I used to have a fear of haircuts (genuinely) like I would shake in the chair and these past few years ive been #trying to get over it #it has been ok! my hair was like halfway down my back before any haircuts were done and I would cut it little by little testing my fear #and it was going really well. I felt confident #but I wanted to try something different and go shorter than I ever have gone before: above my shoulders #and when that happened it ruined me! I cried for days and I feel like I lost my beauty bc I had connected a lot of my beauty to my hair #my family saying that my hair is so beautiful and dont ever cut it blah blah blah #which was now rly affecting me bc ow now my hair is above my shoulders and it's alley fault and I feel so ugly #all my fault** #it has grown out a bit and I got layers despite a lot of anxiety bc I have curly hair and #I like the layers and I like the short hair #but sometimes society's expectations and my family's gender norms smack my ass and im back at square one of 'I want long hair to feel pretty #bc with long hair I feel like I adhere to society better even if it doesnt make me happy(I feel like short hair is more Me) #and with short hair I feel more me but then I feel out of place and ugly #and ik this is all just identity issues but what should I do for this next haircut? my hair is just past my shoulders. do I just get a trim #or do I get it cut a little more so it's just above my shoulders? #which would make me happy bc That's Me but also not happy bc Society #sorry y'all had to learn about me today but I would appreciate any kind of perspective #apple lady words

[idaaadivock]

[gets four notes on dune post]

me to my family: I'M FAMOUSJSHSJS

#is this the real life #is this just fantasy #i love finding happiness in funny little things #not that i'm any good at it but i love it all the same #tumblr famous babeyyyy #suck on that mr. [11th grade history teacher] #he said i'd never make anything of myself #and he was wrong #i have made a FOOL of myself #according to historians fools (jesters) weren't allowed to have children for fear of their power #i would shrink any of y'all in a roast battle #except my siblings they scare me #if your siblings don't scare you or you don't have any siblings... #idk what to tell you #it's an experience #i love tumblr tags #literally my favorite thing ever #edit 1: I'M AT 12 NOTES MWAHAHAHAHSHHDJSHD #[begins to cough loudly but continues laughing]

[dredshirtroberts]

listen. I know my family is bad at communication and acknowledgement of receipt of Thing but when the one thing that consistently happens semi-annually is that I get fussed at for not confirming I received something, it irks me a smidge.

Like if I'm expected to always confirm "Hey I got your [communication/gift]" then why aren't they doing it back? Especially considering the communication in this instance has really actually very important information they will want to know if they want to stay in contact with me.

Like????

Even if I'd just gotten a "K" in response, like. at least it would have let me know they got the damn thing. I sent this email TWO WEEKS AGO and only one person responded - and it was practically immediate too. Like... i know folks are busy, i know shit's going on. I get it. But it would help me feel so much less like I'm suddenly a pariah in the family out of nowhere if like one of the people I'd sent this to had just responded in some way shape or form.

I'd have answered a phone call - i wouldn't have liked it, but i'd have done it. A letter in the mail to my current address even. a message in a bottle probably wouldn't get to me because i'm pretty far from the beaches of the great lakes, and also they're even farther, but like. something right?

my sister at least confirmed she got it and just forgot to respond. i imagine that's what happened with everyone else because we have the same mental illnesses and look. i do it too. but also? also?? i was hounded to respond quickly to things, i was told off every time i wasn't responding within a half hour of any communication. I was asked instantly the next time they saw me if I'd gotten it, even if i hadn't had a chance to see the thing yet.

So forgive me, family, if I'm a little peeved off that all y'all are allowed to "forget to respond" for two whole fucking weeks and then a few extra days (because it's been 2 weeks, 3 days exactly) when i can't let something sit in the mailbox for 2 days because i couldn't get to my mailbox easily while living on my own without getting a phone call or text or email that there should be something waiting in there for me.

*enraged screeching*

#literally the deadline i gave them for my address change was Monday #technically they have until the 8th but i didn't give them that room because i feared they'd use it #and my birthday is this upcoming week and like. idk i was kind of looking forward to maybe getting a card or two perhaps that's silly of me #to look forward to receiving specifically birthday correspondence for my birthday idk man #like i don't have a lot of space to judge i'm also really bad at keeping up lines of communication but when someone sends you #an update with a deadline about when they're moving and to where exactly #and also a big update on a health issue that like. they've mentioned MULTIPLE times #it's generally considered courteous to at least SAY YOU RECEIVED THE MESSAGE even if you didn't have a chance to read the whole thing yet #like???????? #angry i am so angry #like yay my sister responded to the text IT TOOK 2 WEEKS AND ME POKING HER ABOUT IT #again i know. i know people are busy and have other things going on #why did *I* have to be the one who came up with work arounds and ways to avoid doing this to other people when no one else does it for me? #why was *I* the one always getting fussed at and told off and lectured about how rude i was for not getting back to people in a timelymanne #but it's fine for them to IGNORE ME FOR 2 FUCKING WEEKS #like fuck *off* with that bullshit i'm so fucking......... #i mean it. about the others. if my grandparents i sent this to and my other aunt don't respond they don't get any more updates on me #i don't tell them when i move next or where i've gone. if i change my phone number again they don't get it. #like. if you're not going to do me the courtesy of saying ''i got your message you sent'' #AFTER I'VE SENT A FOLLOW UP TWO WEEKS LATER #then you don't get to stay in touch because you clearly do not care about it. #....i already feel like i'm extremely unwantable and like no one will ever desire to stick with me long term #having the family members i spent the majority of my life being around not respond to me does not help that #the SINGULAR person in a whole list of recipients who responded quickly (and also thoroughly but that was *wholly* unexpected) #was someone I barely got a chance to know when I was young because of weird family drama I don't care about #because it doesn't fucking matter y'all are adults now act like it #like. the most supportive member of my family is a woman i thought disliked me on principle because i was my father's child #and it turns out no it's my dad who's the fucked up one who judged her children just because they were hers #cause he hates his sister for some fucking reason. #when she's genuinely the nicest and kindest person i've ever met in my whole family like???