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#y'all this book is so magical
darkfromday · 1 year
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about Obscurials and pre-Hogwarts Harry
this is your daily reminder that Harry could never have been an Obscurial, not because That Woman hadn’t created/retconned in the idea yet, but because of the actual definition, which is “a child who knows about their magic and tries to suppress it”.
Ariana Dumbledore knew she was a witch from the time she was able to know things. She was actively and knowingly doing magic when she was attacked, and afterward she refused to use her gift and it turned inward.
Harry Potter knew that strange things happened around him, but he did not know that it was magic, because he didn’t think magic was even real. One of the first things he says to Hagrid after The Reveal is something along the lines of “this has to be a mistake, I can’t be a wizard”. He also wasn’t trying to “suppress” any of the things happening to him, because he didn’t know he was the one causing them to happen.
so yeah, there’s no viable “Dumbledore knew Harry could have become an Obscurial when he left him with the Dursleys and still left him there” argument, because Dumbledore didn’t know the Dursleys weren’t going to tell Harry about his magic or even treat him like a member of the family (see: my 12-hour long post about this shit last month, along with The Books).
yet another big argument Dumbledore-bashers have that falls apart when you actually adhere to the story lol
#I am once again begging y'all to reread the books#Harry Potter#Ariana Dumbledore#Obscurials#when I watched the first FB movie I was like ''huh interesting'' and then people tried to make Credence/Harry parallels#EXCEPT CREDENCE ALSO KNEW HE HAD MAGIC????#Grindelwald was literally telling him all sorts of shit about the magical world and implying he could ''give'' him magic or unlock his magic#and like sure he was lying through his fucking teeth until he realized Credence *was* an untrained wizard and Obscurial but STILL#JKR is not great at storytelling but this actually holds up in-universe!#if you know magic is real and you might have it and you suppress it: Obscurial#if you don't think magic is real and you don't think you have it: you're just Harry lol#can't believe a stupid ass Quora poster made me think about FANTASTIC BEASTS today#JKR likes to retcon herself too though so I wouldn't be surprised if there's some dumbass line about this in the latest movie#meta#what's interesting is that Hermione never comes up in these bashers' conversations#she is another person who would have had a stake in ''wishing her problems away'' if she had any magical outbursts#yet no one ever says ''Hermione could have been an Obscurial!'' you know why?? because the theory DOESN'T MAKE SENSE for anyone but Ariana!#and Ariana is like Hermione in that she had two loving parents! so clearly Obscurials don't need to have an abusive caregiver to be birthed!#Credence is more of a parallel to Tom Riddle tormenting kids in the orphanage than he is to Harry; just more sympathetic#sigh#'bout to circle back to twitter for a while bc I'm so annoyed about this
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ziipzeepzop-eez · 4 months
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OKAY SO-
I had an idea for a silly goofy au where Damian, Jon, and reader are like the scooby gang and go around solving mysteries.
Reader is like a magic user, and they're job is to keep the evil entities away from everyday people, (Like Supernatural! But kid friendly🩷)
Damian has been stalking them as Robin and that's how the supersons get involved in the mystery gang.
It's just wholesome crime solving amongst the baby heros, and they have fun adventures (that sometimes end in sleepovers).
It think it would be funny too if paranormal assistance was needed and Dickie walks in on the three of them performing a seance in the theater room-
"What the hell is happening right now?"
"Magic."
"..."
"Why."
"Because, Richard. It is important for our investigation."
"Okay." *Turns to leave*
"No, no, no. You have to stay until I close the ritual so the spirit doesn't attatch to you. :D"
"WHAT-"
But he can't complain, because at least little wing is making friends...?
Bonus if Bruce has no idea where Damian is going almost every night. Like he just dissapears for a few hours then just returns wuth Jon and no explaination.
Clark and Lois know obvi because Jon is just so excited to tell his parents all about the latest mystery.
I know this isn't alot but I have more but I think imma go take another nap rq-
Imma sleepy-
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NORMIEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Nono because--
I'm-
How'd you know that my absolute weakness is the Supersons with a same age reader completing the baby hero trinity??
I'M NOT JOKING IT'S SERIOUSLY ONE OF MY FORGOTTEN SOFT SPOTS FOR THESE GOOBERS!!!! I remember a long time ago when I read this headcanon post about the Supersons with a reader who was the child of Wonder Woman and they were basically the Big Three next gen!! 🥹🥹 I have no clue where it's at now :sobs: BUT IT WAS REALLY GOOD AND FUELED MY LOVE FOR DC CIRCA 2015-2017!!!!
Now. As for YOU, my dear boba bubble.........
*deeeep breath in-*
FRICK YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH
THEM!!! THE KIDS EVER!!!!!!!! BEING A LIL SCOOBY DOO GANG!!!
I ain't gonna tell no tall man's tale, as SOON as I got this gist for this - the Scooby Doo theme song was playing in my head and now I can't stop imagining it with them getting into funny dramatic thematic situations:
It's just-
🎶 WHAT'S NEW SCOOBY DOO? COMIN' AFTER YOU ✨🏃🏽‍♀️💨 WE'RE GONNA SOLVEEE THAT MYSTERY!!🎶 and it's all a rush of cutscenes of the Big Little Three getting into all kinds of fun supernatural filled shenanigans — crazy and wild and sometimes very scary, but they've all got each other's backs.
Point being: yes yes, 100% yes.
Magic user?!??!!?!?!!! THAT MEANS.... MAGIQUE~~~ (◠‿・)—☆
let's say bro (you) can fly - maybe not as often nor as naturally as Jonny boy, but hell you can levitate for more than a few minutes at a time, it's something!
you both take turns carrying Damian - the only non-flyer of the group lmaoooo
you're all the "middle man" between you all at one point or another. sometimes dami leads with his head and instincts; you and jon reel him in. sometimes jon leads with his heart and just finally fudging snaps because even the sweethearts go apeshit sometimes - you and dami do damage control and console the poor boy in the emotional aftermath. sometimes, you either lose yourself to the supernatural aspect of it all: it's either a overflowing, overwhelming rush of magic that zaps you dry and you're withered to a delicate, fragile thing in your own destructive aftermath or you go full on Avatar (tla) State and become something just shy of not human and need to be tethered back to the ground by your boys.
whatever the case may be, you all work around and through it all. you adapt to each other's needs. you're all there for each other, no matter what.
The bit with Dick and the seance. In the Manor, no less. I applaud you - it's too canon not to be.
You, hands glowing and a little too cheerful - like this is normal (it is. to you, at least) but still wary: "WAIT DON'T LEAVE YOU'RE NOW A LIABILITY TO THE DEMONS!!"
Dick:
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Yoooooo, imagine pulling up to the function while Dami's at school LMFAOOOOOOO
HE'S IN A LAB OR ART CLASS JUST VIBING AND HAPPENS TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW TO SEE YOU: LEVITATING AND WAVING FRANTICALLY TO HIM AND JON RIGHT BESIDE YOU, LOOKING EXTREMELY SHEEPISH AND WAVES INNOCENTLY:
Damian: Oh, Grandfather's head on a stick.
Classmate: Woah! What happened? *sees Damian looking right past them to the window, also looking like he's about to have an aneurysm*
Classmate: Bro, what-? *goes to turn*
Damian: *grabs them by the shoulders and turns them around* AH YA- YOU- YOUUuuuknow, what? It's nothing at all. Nothing of the sort. It was . . . a bird. Yes. A bird. It flew away. But I must leave now.
Classmate: *stunned* I-uh- okay-?
Damian: *gathering his things while retaining intense eye contact* Yes.
Classmate: ......... Bro you good? Seriously-
Damian, interrupts: It would seem I have a . . . Previous engagement. I'll tend to the bird on my way.
Classmate: Oh-
Damian, already out the door because you just deactivated your levitation spell and just, went right parallel downwards without a word and Jon panicked and flew down after you to try and catch you and the both of y'all disappear from his view and most likely ate absolute shit in the school's compost bin outside the window: Your understanding is appreciated.
Classmate: .......................
Classmate: It's first period??
LMFAOOOOO AND AS FOR CLASSMATE, bro's weirded out but probably unaffected nonetheless because Dami has a rep for being a little weird and disappearing out of the blue from time to time but is a relatively pleasant classmate nonetheless!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Damian, Jon, and you being the next Big Little Three.......
But there's magic and ghosts involved!!! 👻✨
Idea: maybe you end up being Zatanna's apprentice/family member and inherited your magic through that! Orrrrr, you're just a freelance magic user, a bit of a vagabond of sorts, a total enigma and have it under your belt, no mentor, just doin' your own thing. (Miles Morales ref. 🙌)
Either way, you're a well-meaning kid with a good heart and have an absolute time hassling all these spirits like cattle back to the netherworld that nobody else can see.
Kinda like Danny Phantom!! (I loveeee dc x dp) or somethin' to that effect haha.
Wouldn't it be even funnier if reader has like, no known records? At all? They just showed up one day and came to clean out the supernatural aspects of the city ('ole goth here's messed up enough without all the vengeful ghosts in it! just doin' a little favor, no? *blows a kiss*') and gets roped into the adventure- and friendship/found family circle- of a lifetime.
Stakeouts that turn into sleepovers at the Manor. Very rarely down at the farm in Metropolis, but sometimes!! Big open cornfields, it's a hotpot for Prime Supernatural Activity. You make insufferable jokes (even tho they're like, true) and Damian scolds you for scaring Jon. Tt.
But you save his favorite cow Betsy from getting attacked by some random ghost demon and Jon nearly crushes your ribs in a hug.
As for Damiiiii, bro- I came up w/ something--
You pop up at some Wayne gala inexplicably at first.
Damian spots you for the first time (y'know, before y'all all become friends hueheuhueuhue *chokes, coughs*), completely out in the open, and spews his drink.
He'd immediately stomp over to you, aghast, because what in all the names of the Lazarus Pit are you doing here?! He'd been stalking you for weeks from afar! He was a master of stealth!! How did you even manage--
I- what? No, he does not like your outfit! It's rather spiffy, you say? HE DOESN'T CARE! THAT'S THE LAST THING HE'S THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?? How did you even GET IN??
He's steaming and flustered while also trying to not make a scene because the place is crawling with socialites and high society aristocrats whereas you're cool, calm, charming, blending in too well as you down your own drink. [It's icy apple juice.] and just, bamboozles him further.
'Excellent year,' you suddenly say rather seriously, peering down into your glass of icy apple juice with an impressed expression, effectively cutting off Damian, who was in the middle of a hushed, barely watered down tirade.
Y'all stare at each other for all of two nanoseconds and the events happen as follows:
you turn a bottle of iced apple cider to Damian (where did you even manage to nab one?), pointedly at the label to further explain your comment,
he slaps it out of your hand in a rush of overwhelming emotion and thereby catches the attention of everyone within y'all's general vicinity,
BOOM - you're both circled out and being stared down from all sides.
Damian wants to crawl in a hole and die, maybe.
You raise your hand and twiddle your fingers in a sweet wave and- you- that's when he sees it-
Sparkles. Real, genuine, sparkles. Come right out from your fingertips.
Damian is at a loss while you suddenly garner an audience!! An applauding audience!!! What the hell is going on-?
You disappear in a puff of smoke! Oh my!!
And in a grandiose puff of sparkles and thematic smoke (it's like regular smoke but cooler), you reappear with a flourish on the stage on the other side of the room! Thereby catching everyone's attention.
"Good eveninggggg, my fellow Gothamites! Wowza, I see some sexy faces here tonight! *twirls magician's hat and releases an entire army of butterflies* Enchanted to see you all! I'm (Name) and I'm your prime rib for the night! (cue pulling a whole ass pig, cute and with a bowtie, out from the inside of your coat) Or so to speak!"
Gasps and claps arise from the audience!
Damian is terse, a little terrified, and a little impressed. And he watches the entire time as you pull off a literal magic show! An interactive one, too!
Afterwards, you stand in front of an enchanted crowd and bow with a proper flourish; when you peek out over the rim of your hat, you make direct eye contact with Damian, a mischievous smile playing at your lips.
A proper introduction for you, your Highness? - echoes in his mind. Magic.
That's when he knows. He knows, he's in for a wild ride.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'VE STARTED AND NOW I CANT GET ENOUGHHHHHH OMGGGGGGGG
(Also! Dick would totally be gushing over y'all all the time. His baby wing made friends! And such Good Ones too!! Awwwww! <33)
(And Damian just snaps at him to be quiet, orrrr frowns from where he's trapped in between you and Jon in a group hug. He secretly, not-so-secretly loves it.)
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strunmah-mah · 2 years
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New head cannon: Jason’s dog isn’t named Dog because he sucks at naming things. It’s a reference to the Disreputable Dog from The Old Kingdom series by Garth Nix.
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lucyshypemaster · 2 years
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THIS. IS. SICK.
i am truly excited to get this but as someone who lives in a southeast asian country, i can't preorder. even if I do, it'll be EXTREMELY expensive. I'm just hoping that once I got this in the bookstore, it wouldn't be so expensive. i really really really want the first print edition but it seems really unlikely for me :/
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firebirdsdaughter · 2 years
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This is a Myst IV Positivity Post
It manifests positive energy about Myst IV: Revelation
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clownsecret · 4 months
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The dynamic of my current National Novel Writing Month project is SO much the courtly love / submission of the guard dog to the sheep it kills wolves for thing Tumblr is fucking nuts over right now. That and also the "call my man shredded lettuce the way he's a sub topping" post.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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azotowanie · 1 year
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i might be wrong bc i read thief's magic over two years ago but omfg it would've made so much sense for rielle to be queer !! like,,, her relationship with religion is so queer coded, intentionally or not. her constant life in fear because somebody might find out that she's a magic user??? the whole "it's not a sin until you act on it" thing??? the super religious to atheist pipeline??? I am so mad that she's canonically straight because I don't even need for her to be put in a relationship with another woman just few direct words would've been enough!!!
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mimblizzy · 10 months
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DP x DC story idea y'all:
So the JL has some big ass problem, like really big, like dimension-destroying-big.
And as a last resort they want to find some entity powerful enough to save them and strike a deal (John Constantine-idea tm)
But where do they find something like that?
The infinite realms. John regrets his idea already. That is a fucking suicide mission. But what other option is there?
The whole JLD works really hard to find a way to the infinite realms and after searching every and all books about death magic they manage to find a portal.
It is decided that the Trinity plus Constantine should go in, try to find a powerful being and strike a deal at any costs. 
So they go in. And land somewhere in the middle of nowhere, floating in the Ghost Zone. 
They meet a random ghost and ask if they know of a being powerful enough to save a whole ass dimension from destruction. The ghost says the most powerful being is the ghost king who reigns over everything dead, then gestures vaguely in some direction and leaves. 
So the the group moves in that direction and on the way encounter all kinds of bizarre beings (demons, ghosts, jinns, alpe and the like) getting in all sorts of trouble (walker's prison, some demon with shares of John's soul etc) and only escaping by a hair's width every time, getting new directions and very concerning and sometimes contradicting information on the ghost king from more amicable beings in between (not every ghost knows of the new king yet). The whole journey to the king's castle is very the wizard of oz like.
And then finally. The castle comes into view. All the heroes (and Constantine) are exhausted and desperate. As they come near the tension is rising. Hopefully the king is merciful like that one ghost said and not a ruthless tyrant like the other said. They've almost reached the castle when -are those disco lights coming from the windows?!?! And can anyone else hear Caramelldansen??
There's a big ass houseparty at the ghost king's fortress. 
They can just walk into the courtyard unbothered. There's also a ton of beings partying hard and almost nobody even spares the JL ensemble a glance. 
They, once again, ask some random drunk? beings for the Ghost king and, once again, get directed on a wild goose chase across the courtyard several times, to no avail. Finally, they find someone who at least looks human and alive. 
It's Jazz. She's just finished with her mid-terms and for once not being the responsible one. She earned this. But now there's a group of weirdly dressed humans? asking for her brother. Yeah, she hasn't seen him in a while, she'll go looking with them. Last she's seen him he was near one of the snack bars. 
Together they make their way over. But he isn't there. The Leaugers could fucking scream! They went through hell just for the tiny chance to save their world and now they can't even find the Ghost king!
But then the young red haired woman with them looks around. narrows her eyes. pulls up the table cloth. 
And finally there he is! The ghost king! In full regalia! With a flaming crown hovering over his head, a mantle made out of galaxies draped over his shoulders and the ring of rage on his left hand ... and it's a teenager. Passed out drunk.
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Idk i just thought: what would a normal teenager do if they had a gigantic castle in another dimension and no parents to reign them in? Houseparty.
"I mean what's the worst that could happen? Death of alcohol poisoning? Not fucking likely" -Danny
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what-eats-owls · 5 months
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Clean Books.
It's Friday of Ace Week, and I feel like I need to articulate something.
A month or so ago, I was signing at a convention, and I kept getting a specific ask from adults: "Are your books clean?"
And I didn't know what to say. I write for teens. There's body horror, violence, swearing, underage drinking, child abuse/neglect, forced marriage, discussion of past sexual assault, the magic system is essentially "take drugs made out of gods," dirty jokes by the bushel. Sex itself is discussed and depicted with, I hope, all the awkwardness, silliness, and earnestness that rings true for teen characters, as well as respect for the intended teen audience.
But to the people asking for "clean books," it's usually just that last one they're interested in. (Followed by swearing.)
I think, when your book is flagged as an Ace Book, some readers just expect a prominent ace character... and some readers expect a Clean Book. Something pure and wholesome, where sex doesn't exist and no one thinks dirty thoughts, it's just chaste hand-holding and cuddles and maybe a closed-mouth kiss.
That is deeply, deeply unfair to ace readers and writers. A lot of us have spent and/or will spend a lot of our lives, from adolescence onward, trying to figure out exactly what our relationship is with sex. What we want, what we don't want, when we want it, if we want it, if we even tolerate it. Asexuality is a spectrum for a reason; to expect ace work to be "clean" denies it the room to assert its full identity.
I write for the teens who are told they're "just late bloomers" because they aren't interested in dating, while their saved AO3 searches would obliterate the Vatican. My books are not Ace as in No Dirty Thoughts, they are Ace as in Deconstructing the Scam of Compulsory Allosexuality. And that doesn't have to be for you. But it doesn't make it any less ace. It is not abandoning asexuality. It doesn't make them "impure."
Happy Ace Week, y'all.
(I decided, by the way, that my standard answer to "are your books clean" is a simple "Yes.")
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eggluverz · 7 months
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Dan Feng's disciple! Reader x Dan Heng IL Synopsis Idea: She tried to stop them from taking him away from her, she really did. But Jingliu and Jing Yuan were quick to stop her. She spent so many nights alone... Until she saw him. The man she loved and would give up her life for. She's not letting him slip away from her this time. Thank you~~❤️
AFTER ALL THIS TIME
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PAIRING. dan feng x f!reader; dan heng x f!reader
WORD COUNT. 3,741
SUMMARY. you were the great imbibitor lunae's disciple. he trusted you with his life and you with his. but when the time came, you weren't able to save him. what happens when you run into his reincarnation years down the line?
SOF'S NOTE. i had so much fun writing this!! i wrote it 2 days ago now but i just haven't had the time to post it t-t but i'm finally moved into my new place and managed to squeeze this post in <3 i rly rly enjoyed writing this so i hope y'all enjoy reading!! and special ty to the anon who requested this!! ^-^
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The art of cloudhymn magic was difficult to master. Even as a high elder yourself, there were intricacies you could not figure out on your own. But you trained daily, practiced in seclusion, and read all the books passed down from the most renowned masters. 
Each day, your knowledge grew. Your natural talents aided you in perfecting your own personalized form of cloudhymn magic.
Still, Dan Feng noticed flaws in your execution. Movements that should be more precise, patterns that should flow more intricately. You noticed him silently watching you on the vast training grounds. He wasn’t much older than you, yet his magic was already intricately refined— The makings of a leader to the Vidyadharas.
He saw great power within you, he told you in passing as he took you under his wing. There was much you could gain from him, he promised. 
Years went by as you studied under Dan Feng. He has many supporters and people who looked up to him, but he only allowed you as his disciple. You were the only one who could rightfully address him as master. 
As he grew in his status as a member of the High Cloud Quintet and later the Imbibitor Lunae, you too grew in your mastery of cloudhymn magic. You were able to learn Dan Feng’s signature combat skill of deflecting iron, making arrows of most enemies fall flat at your feet. But your skill shined in the illusions you were able to create. Not even the Imbibitor Lunae was as skilled in that art as you. 
Your power grew and as such, Dan Feng recognized you as more of an equal than a disciple. Out of respect for all the teachings he imparted on you, you still called him master. There was no way you would reach your level of strength in this short amount of time without someone like him fostering your talents.
Along the way, you found yourself viewing him as more than your master. When he began treating you as someone who matched his power rather than someone with much to learn, you were able to feel confident in all your abilities.
One late night, Dan Feng took you to his sacred training grounds for a sparring session. He had just returned from a stressful battle and while the casualties were low, they were more than he felt comfortable with. 
“If anything happens to me, at least I will know the Vidyadhara will be in good hands,” Dan Feng commended as you blocked the tip of his spear from grazing the base of your neck. 
You quickly shifted your gears from defending to attacking, knowing if you let Dan Feng get too many attacks in, he would be almost unstoppable. Spinning your spear in your hands, you imbued the weapon with water and launched it directly at your master’s chest. 
A normal man would have fallen dead before even realizing you attacked him, but not the Imbibitor Lunae. He sidestepped, the scene appearing like a mirage due to his speed. 
“Nothing is going to happen to you, master,” you scoffed. “You’re the strongest Vidyadhara alive. Not even I could defeat you in battle.”
He hummed, tapping his spear to the back of your neck, signaling you lost this spar. “Battle is not the only way someone can fall.”
Wiping a bead of sweat off your forehead, you sighed, sauntering away from him and back inside his living quarters. “Continuously speaking of your self-proclaimed inevitable downfall is unbecoming of you, master. What would the people think of a disciple who follows someone without faith in his own ability to live?” 
Dan Feng chuckled softly. “A pitiful disciple, is what outsiders would say.” You nodded and he stopped you in your tracks, running his index finger against your jaw. His fingernail dug into the bottom of your chin to lift your head until your burning gaze met his sharp one. “But we never cared much about what outsiders think, did we?” 
You placed your palm against his chest, feeling the detailed fabric of his garments. They were thick yet light, a sign of great craftsmanship that only the highest of elders could afford. You allowed your hands to roam along his body before Dan Feng grabbed your wrist, his long fingers wrapping easily around its circumference. 
He smirked. “Wait until we’re indoors, my beloved.” 
“Yes, master,” you complied with a roll of your eyes before releasing the front of his outwear. You held complete respect for the Imbibitor Lunae, and you revered him as such. But those moments when it was just you and Dan Feng—just you and your partner—you weren’t one to shy away from meeting his biting remarks. 
This night, like many, led to moments of passion on the silken sheets draped over Dan Feng’s mattress. It was a mixture of love, respect, and the intense craving for more. 
Your master, the Imbibitor Lunae, a member of the High Cloud Quintet— Dan Feng was many things. But most importantly, he was yours. 
Until he wasn’t. 
No good thing was meant to last, Dan Feng once said during an endless night of reflection as he laid in bed beside you. Friendships, relationships, entire civilizations, built to be destroyed from the start. 
No good thing was meant to last. But he would fight his damned hardest to ensure they did. 
And for once, his hardest wasn’t enough. 
It was the middle of the night when your living quarters were barged into. You woke with a start and noticed Dan Feng quickly wrapping your robes around your naked body. 
The noises weren’t at the bedroom yet; you heard the thuds from outside and you immediately called for your strongest weapon. Noticing even the slightest of your movements, Dan Feng softly placed his hand on top of yours. Almost imperceptibly, he shook his head. 
Your eyes widened, wanting to ask what he could’ve possibly been thinking. There was a large group of men outside with hostile intent, did he not want to protect himself from an attack? 
“I am going to see what they need,” he said calmly, pulling you into his arms and leaving a kiss on your forehead. “Please, stay here for me.”
A few members of the High Cloud Quintet—Dan Feng’s closest friends that easily became yours as well—were staying at the guest chambers at the Imbibitor Lunae’s invitation. At the commotion outside, Jingliu came in with a groggy look on her face, tired from being woken up, but not an ounce of surprise in her. 
Dan Feng nodded to her and a silent Jing Yuan that filed in behind her. “Jingliu, Jing Yuan… Make sure she stays out of harm’s way.”
“Of course,” promised Jing Yuan, a soft smile painting his lips despite the sad look in his eyes. 
As he spoke, the doors to the bedroom burst open, a trio of Vidyadhara Preceptors breaking down the defenses you and Dan Feng had set. Your spear was in your hand in an instant and you tightened the knot on your robe with your other hand. 
Dan Feng stood straight in high alert, though his expression remained as one of nonchalance and arrogance. “Can I help you?”
Without a single moment spared for niceties, the Cloud Knights charged in to grab the Imbibitor Lunae. The Preceptors sent chains of rope instead of metal to wrap around Dan Feng. Your eyes blazed as you immediately called upon your cloudhymn magic. Water danced around your spear in sharp droplets, and you pointed it directly at the Head Preceptor. 
He narrowed his eyes in your direction. “Stand down, or you will face the same punishment.” 
“That’s only if you can beat us,” you laughed with disdain. Despite the big group, you were certain you and Den Feng had the ability to hold them off together. 
“Don’t,” Jingliu called out, gently placing her hand on your shoulder. “We can’t help him anymore, Y/N. Not after what he did. Don’t get hurt in the crossfire.” 
You knew what Dan Feng had done. For Yingxing. And you both knew the crime he would have to commit to help his best friend, but you never imagined the punishment would be so severe. A crowd of Cloud Knights and even a group of the Vidyadhara Preceptors here, together, all to subdue the Imbibitor Lunae. 
But it didn’t matter the crimes he committed or the consequences he may have incited through his actions. None of it mattered because he was your Dan Feng. Your master and your lover who you would protect with your entire life. 
Unfortunately, Dan Feng seemed to know that, having gotten Jingliu and Jing Yuan here to hold you back.
Before you could move, Jing Yuan held your arm back and prevented you from using your spear. Your eyes widened in shock. 
“Jing Yuan…?”
“I’m sorry, Y/N. It’s too late for Dan Feng, but not for you.”
The Cloud Guards briefly turned their attention towards you and the members of the High Cloud Quintet. Their swords raised as they noticed the fire in your eyes. 
Dan Feng snarled when he saw their focus on you. “If you hurt her, you will all pay,” he warned, his voice a low growl that would’ve made an ordinary man quiver. He began to move his arms in a way that could only be described as the start of a cloudhymn spell and in an instant, all eyes were on him. The ropes tightened, restricting his movement in a way that caused immense pain. 
“I love you,” were Dan Feng’s last words as he was forced out of his own estate. “Take care of yourself, my beloved.”
“Why do you speak as if you’re going to be gone?” you cried, refusing to believe someone as strong as your master could be subdued even by a group as large as this. “I’ll come get you—!”
You felt the sharp point of a sword on your neck as you summoned your spear. The nick was only a warning, but it was enough to draw blood. Your eyes widened and you stilled under the mercy of Jingliu’s weapon. 
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You cannot.”
Feeling helpless and pathetic, all you could do was fight to not lose consciousness as Jingliu swiftly knocked you out. 
Your eyes drifted open and shut, your hand that was wrapped around your spear instantly loosened and the weapon that contained so much power fell at your side like a dull needle. 
The next time you woke, you were at your own residence. You had left this place to have a sanctuary with Dan Feng. Your sanctuary that was invaded, attacked, and taken from you. 
You went back on forth between two states of mind. One was complete and utter numbness at the loss you suffered. The other was uncontrollable pain and sadness. 
You spent your days and nights crying, refusing to see a single soul. You turned your meals away even when your loved ones begged you to take a bite. There was a hole in your heart at the thought of your master’s punishment. 
In your eyes, Dan Feng’s own best friends betrayed him, betrayed you. And after that night, you knew you would never want to be in contact with any of them again. 
To save a life, to save a friend who no longer regarded Dan Feng in the same light… You never could have imagined the punishment would be forced reincarnation. 
Uncontrollable sobs racked through your body, throat hoarse from the amount of crying you’ve done for weeks straight. It wasn’t only forced reincarnation, but also torture and imprisonment you knew he was facing. 
You had the strongest Vidyadhara alive as a master, yet you failed to learn enough to save him. When it mattered most, you couldn’t help.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. Those thoughts ate you alive before you were able to finally continue on with your life. 
You were no longer a Xianzhou resident. You refused the help the Vidyadhara with any advances in medicine and combat, keeping any profound knowledge of cloudhymn magic that Dan Feng shared only with you to yourself. The Preceptors couldn’t be trusted with anymore power. They had made themselves and enemy to you. As did the Cloud Knights, and inadvertently, the Cloud Knight General himself. 
Still, you tried not to let the hatred consume you. Vengeance would only breed insanity. Your mind would be consumed with sorrow and pain and you would never be able to heal. 
Dan Feng wouldn’t want that. 
You had to continue to live, for the both of you. 
Using your privilege as a Vidyadhara, you were able to travel around to different planets with relative ease. There were so many things to experience, such beautiful things to see—when you weren’t tangled in constant politics and battles. Your only wish was that Dan Feng was here to explore the universe with you. 
There were places where he didn’t need to have the pressure of the world on his shoulders. He wouldn’t be Imbibitor Lunae. He wouldn’t be a member of the famous High Cloud Quintet. Instead, he would just be Dan Feng, and you would get to explore the world as such. 
You wondered if his transition into the modern world would have been as smooth as yours. As you reminisced about your past, a nostalgic smile formed on your face. 
As you walked around this new city, you stared up at the flurries of pink and purple in the sky. The scenery was amazing here. With vast bodies of water and a bustling area of commerce and entertainment on the shorelines, you couldn’t help but look around in awe. Amidst your sightseeing, you felt yourself run into someone, dropping the map you held in your hands. 
“Oh!” you gasped in surprise. “I wasn’t looking at where I was going. I apologize.” 
“I wasn’t looking either,” the stranger said in response, picking the paper map up for you before the wind could sweep it away. “Here you go.”
As he handed you your belongings, you finally managed to get a good look at his face. Surprised by what you saw—what you felt—you accidentally dropped the map once more. 
The man gaped at you before hesitantly reaching down to pick up your map once more. This time, he held it instead of giving it back.
“Would you like your map back?” he asked slowly, this expression unsure.
The memories of the past slammed into you as you looked into his turquoise eyes. The bright green burned into yours. This man in front of you did not have the characteristics of a Vidyadhara. He did not don horns, a tail, or sharp ears like he once did. But there was no doubt in your mind— This was Dan Feng. At least, the person that emerged from Dan Feng’s forced reincarnation.
Tears started flowing down your face as you wondered what to say. Should you even say anything? You didn’t want to lose him again, but you wondered if the man in front of you would even want to get to know you. Dan Feng was a high elder, a powerful one at that. This man must’ve had some dreams about his past life— What if they were bad? What if they were all of the punishment? The crime? What if no part of him remembered you?
As you stood there, stuck in your thoughts, you noticed the stranger staring at the horns on top of your head. Then, at your tears. 
Without saying a word, he seemed to understand. “I’m not him.”
Your breath caught in your throat and you felt choked up. You knew that. Of course a reincarnation wouldn’t be your Dan Feng. But would it be close enough? 
Shaking your head, you scolded yourself internally. This man is not Dan Feng, he said so himself. And it would be twisted to project the qualities of your lover onto him without even getting the chance to know him.
“I know,” you said sadly, a disdainful smile on your face. “I just…sensed some of him in you.”
He nodded, a guarded look on his face despite the tilt of curiosity from his neck.“What were you to him?”
You smiled sadly, clutching the map in your hands and relaxing again. “His disciple. A close friend,” you said. You gazed into his eyes with an unwavering look. “His partner.” 
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
He hesitated for a moment, looking around the area. You were at the beachside with patches of sand, grass, and pavement lining the ground. “Would you like to sit somewhere and talk?”
Deciding it would be rather tiring for you to stand and talk all day, you agreed with his suggestion. Silently, you walked over to the sand with Dan Feng’s reincarnation in tow and took a seat. The ground was warm and soft as you ran your fingers through the rocky granules.
As you watched the waves crash against the shore, you felt your body relax. Cloudhymn magic often   well with the element, and you found you had a natural affinity towards it yourself. 
After a few moments passed, you figured that, since he wasn’t Dan Feng, it would be rather rude of you not to introduce yourself. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”
He gazed out into the water before turning his head to you. “Dan Heng.”
Although you attempted to hide your amused grin, you felt the corners of your mouth lifting upwards. “Creative.”
He shrugged, fighting off a smile of his own.
“So, Dan Heng… Do you remember anything about your past life?”
“Some things,” he admitted, resting a palm on the sand behind his back. “None of them are good.”
You frowned. There was no doubt you blamed the Preceptors for that. Dan Feng lived years and years of life, love, and even sorrow. But for his reincarnation to only know him as something negative? That didn’t sit well with you. 
“Although, I have to wonder,” he continued, gazing at you with an inquisitive look in his eyes, “if he was capable of love and partnership, could he be more than the arrogant criminal my memories have painted him out to be?”
You softened. Any hatred he felt towards Dan Feng wasn’t his fault. And he was certainly struggling as Dan Feng’s reincarnation. 
“He was certainly more than a criminal,” you promised. “More than the Imbibitor Lunae, even. Dan Feng was a real person who experiences emotions and feelings, like any other.” 
Dan Heng’s brows furrowed, but he said nothing. 
“If you want to learn more about him, I’ll always be here for you to ask.”
“And if I don’t?” 
You smiled sadly. “As much as that pains me, it’s your right. Each Vidyadhara can choose how much of their past they want to remember or embrace— Or if they want to start anew completely.”
“I do.”
A long exhale escaped your mouth as thoughts of your past filled your memories. You made no mistake— The man in front of you was not Dan Feng. Dan Feng was deceased, and holding on to any hope would only be futile and lead to more main. 
Instead, the man in front of you was Dan Heng, a reincarnation of Dan Feng. A Vidyadhara who deliberately chose to not incorporate his past life into his current. And that was okay.
“I am remorseful,” you admitted. Dan Heng nodded in understanding. “However, I am comforted knowing his reincarnation is here, and he looks happy. Dan Feng would be happy for you.”
He laughed quietly. “I find that hard to believe.”
You gave him a look. “You don’t know him like I do.” 
“Yes, you’re right.” 
Dan Heng sighed in contemplation, conflict evident in his expression. You weren’t sure what exactly what he was thinking, but you sensed deep turmoil within him. It was only natural, you assumed, after something he had such conviction for was shaken at its very foundation. 
“Do you want to board the Astral Express with me?” he asked hesitantly. 
You blinked at the sudden question. “Pardon?”
“Sorry,” said Dan Heng, clearing his throat. “That was impulsive.” He paused before continuing. “From talking to you, I gathered that maybe you’re being held back by your past, too.”
Your eyes widened in surprised. You didn’t except him to be so blunt. Perhaps he had some similarities to Dan Feng after all. 
“If you’re lost or want a place to call home, maybe you can pay it a visit,” he offered nonchalantly. “We travel the universe and occasionally assist some planets. I have a feeling you’d like it.”
The Astral Express? You wondered how a place like that would be. For so long, you’ve been traveling alone, avoiding the Xianzhou and even some Vidyadhara who might know of your existence as Dan Feng’s disciple and lover. 
A part of you longed for a social connection again— A place to belong. 
After some thinking, you asked, “Do you want me there?” 
“Yes— As Dan Heng though,” he reminded firmly. “Not Dan Feng.”
You laughed in amusement. “Good. I’m interested in getting to know your new life, Dan Heng,” you said, extending your hand out for him to shake. “Thank you for inviting me in.”
He took it gently, his hand lingering on yours even after the handshake was over. “Maybe you can tell me more about Dan Feng once we arrive at the Express. The parts that aren’t so bad.”
The look on his face told you he was genuine. You smiled. “I’d love that.”
Understanding passed between the two of you as you sat there in contentment. The wind whirled around you and the steady sound of the waves soothed your soul. 
“I want to learn about Dan Feng’s life,” concluded Dan Heng, unwavering. “Still, I think it is best if we look forward to making new memories of our own more.”
You nodded in quiet agreement, eyes never leaving his. 
The past was something you held near and dear to your heart. Dan Feng was someone you would always love and respect. But perhaps the future would have more in store for you, if you only allowed it. 
And as Dan Heng smiled his small smile and offered you a hand up from the sand, you thought, This time, you would. 
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wickedhawtwexler · 2 years
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what i love about my writing discord's leaderboard is that, by the end of the month, you can very clearly see the divide between the normal writers and The Unhinged™
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and as always. i am in that latter category.
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mangomonk · 7 months
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i've been dreaming
↳ summary: read this drabble and pt. 1 first! remus deals with the repercussions of falling in love too late. ↳ content: angst, happy ending, mentions of eating/sleeping properly ↳ a/n: get comfy, this is a long one! i really appreciated and loved each comment from pt. 1, it made my day to see y'all scream heartbreak. would love to hear your thoughts on this one : D anyways, i went back and forth on my characterization of remus a million times, but i hope this version of him resonates and i hope you enjoy :") tense/grammar is all over the place, minimal proofreading but i've stared at this for too long. p.s. i'm kinda proud af about connecting the titles, they're from ivy by frank ocean.
Remus has been dreaming. Every time she had looked at him, he had felt like he was dreaming.
There wasn't a moment in particular that Remus could name when he realized he wanted her to look at him. He was in the middle of it before he even knew he had begun, though maybe a part of him had known it would have been futile to resist when she looked at him like that.
Or maybe it had been an accumulation of moments of Remus longing for her to look at him.
Maybe it had been when they had started their fourth study date together when Remus had decided he needed to act like a normal person and have strict boundaries instead of casting sidelong glances at her over the top of his book. He couldn't help but look at her as he tried to figure out why in the world a girl like her would ever agree to date him in the first place — he had only really asked so that he could be rejected and put the whole thing behind him.
But it wasn't his fault that the more glances he stole at her, the more he noticed the way her expression changed with each new story she read. It wasn't his fault that her lips parted when she was concentrating too hard on Ancient Runes. It wasn't his fault that her lips were the same color as his mother's tulips. But she never noticed when — or how — he looked at her, to his mingled relief and disappointment. It wasn't his fault at all, he reasoned — anyone would notice these things if they just looked at her properly. It baffled him a little how no one else seemed to have noticed this things about her yet.
It had been that day that Remus had decided he needed to start acting normal. He needed to learn how to control his eyes before he bore holes through her face. So he had focused on reviewing his Magical Theory textbook. Even though he had been rereading the same line for over five minutes. Even though he was so painfully aware that if he moved his leg out just slightly, his knees would knock against hers. Even though he could begin to feel her glancing up at him from across the table. When had he become so attuned to her gaze?
But he hadn't looked up, frustratingly going against every fiber in his body, because he needed to be normal and have boundaries and this was temporary. Even if she was looking at him like that. Remus Lupin, with his ever so strong willpower, hadn't looked up to meet her not-so-secret secret glances and had scribbled a note on his scrap of parchment and slid it over.
Hogsmeade this weekend?
Or maybe it had been when they had gone to Hogsmeade, the first time they had done anything together outside of studying. Asking her to go was a stroke of madness, but Remus had reasoned it to be a healthy show of their relationship, no matter how temporary it was supposed to be. It wouldn't make sense if they were dating and only ever studied together, right?
Right.
He had thought about sending an owl to cancel, even as he tried on Sirius's shirt for the second time — the night before, he had come to the sobering realization that all his clothes were plain. He had thought about telling her that he caught a cold, even as he let James slather Euphemia's silkifying potions through his hair. He had still been thinking about canceling even as his feet took him to the entrance gate—
—and she had been wearing a skirt.
It had been one of those long and flowy Muggle skirts — Remus had never before paid attention to women's fashion, but after that moment, he realized that maybe he ought to subscribe to one of Lily's Witch Weekly magazines so that he could get her more skirts, or rather, more of anything, he thought she'd look pretty in anything. Had he said pretty out loud?
Remus Lupin didn't have butterflies in his stomach, he had damn hummingbirds.
"Hi," he had said, a little too tersely and sharply.
"Hi," she had said back, all smiles. Despairingly, he had noticed that she was wearing lipstick. When he stared at her a little dumbly and didn't say anything back, her smile turned nervous as she fidgeted with the collar of her blouse. Impulsively, his eyes darted to follow the motion. "So... Hogsmeade?"
He wasn't going to tell her she looked pretty because he had laid out his boundaries. And if he started, he would never stop— "You look preautiful," he had blurted, stricken.
Her eyes had widened a fraction before she broke into a laugh. A proper laugh, not the quiet, library huff type of laughs he had grown fond of hearing. The warmth in his chest had spread all over and it had felt like it got to his head as a fog, rendering him unable to think. Remus had no idea what to do with the new, dizzying knowledge that she looked absurdly stunning when she was laughing, but all he could think about during their walk to Hogsmeade was how he might make her laugh again.
Or maybe it had been the first time he had properly introduced her to the Marauders. She had stepped closer to him instinctively — perhaps nervously, because Sirius was staring at her too appraisingly with narrowed eyes — when the back of her knuckles had brushed against his. Remus had nearly jumped out of his skin. Sirius's gaze had darted to him swiftly, his gray eyes knowingly bright with interest.
"Pleased to meet you," Sirius had said a moment later, his face breaking into a warm smile, but Remus wasn't paying attention anymore. He was just trying to figure out how he might hook his pinky with hers.
All this to say that there hadn't been one particular moment Remus Lupin could have pinpointed that had sealed his fate of wanting to be under her gaze.
The first time she looked at him, it was the start of nothing and when she looked away that night, it was the end of everything.
Remus wished she yelled at him. Hell, he even wished she had called him a monster, cursed him, hexed him. Remus thought that he would have been happier if she looked at him with contempt and disgust in her eyes, which only weeks ago had been his greatest fear when he considered telling her about his lycanthropy. The thought back then had kept him up at night, but Remus found himself dreaming for it now. Anything if it meant that he didn't hurt her the way he had. He found himself dreaming that she would just look at him again.
If Remus thought he had been panicked that night, it was nothing compared to the next day when he realized she was avoiding him. She hadn't shown up to the Great Hall — Remus knew this because he got there the moment the doors opened to make sure to catch her — and she didn't show up to any of their classes for the remainder of the day. The Marauder's Map showed that she was unmoving in her dormitory. When Remus finally did catch sight of her the next day in the Great Hall, he burst to his feet but froze a moment later. She walked past him, her expression one of unfamiliar blankness.
"Y/N!" He called, lurching forward towards her.
When she turned away from him to avoid meeting his gaze, Remus felt something like dismay sink so heavily and swiftly in his chest, like a stone thrown into a calm lake. The idea that Y/N wouldn’t look at him again drove him half-mad with a panicked disquietude that sent him scrambling to find a way to talk to her again. 
He tried in the Great Hall, but she stopped coming. She would arrive just late enough that class would start and would disappear the moment class ended. She stopped going to the library. Even with the Marauder's Map, he had no luck. The closer he tried to get to her, the further she stayed away.
Remus thought he was dreaming when he saw her alone in the corridor one Hogsmeade weekend when he couldn't bring himself to leave.
"Y/N," he said instinctively, hopefully. She looked up, her surprised expression immediately shuttering close. "Can we talk? Just for a moment?" He asked, stepping towards her. When she didn't move away, he straightened, encouraged.
“I know,” Remus began, his throat bobbing as he swallowed back the jolt of despair when he realized that she still wasn't looking at him. The despair only grew into a gnawing worry when he noticed the way shadows lined her eyes, the planes of her face hollower. Was she taking care of herself? "I know you don't want to see me anymore, cariad, but—"
"You don't get to call me that anymore."
He sucked in a breath, steeling himself before continuing. "Okay," he whispered, "Okay. I know. And I'm sorry, Y/N. I've never been more sorry in my life. And I won't ever ask you to forgive me. But, but I'm selfish because I want you to know that it was real for me."
She looked like she was folding in on herself as she clutched her forearms. "It wasn't real. You don't actually like me, Rem— Lupin," she said evenly, her tone neither cold nor warm. "It could have been anyone else."
"No, I do, I do," Remus lurched forward, desperate and earnest and wishing. "I like you, and maybe it wasn't real in the beginning, but it's real now. Like isn't even a strong enough word for how I feel about you, Y/N. I lo—"
"Don't." At the harsh steeliness of her tone, Remus froze, stricken, his heart dropping to his feet. "Don't say it."
"But it's true," he whispered entreatingly, imploring her to look at him again. "It's been true for awhile now."
"I don't believe you."
Each word hit him in the chest like a sharp pang, the stricken feeling in his chest clenching around his heart. "Okay," Remus swallowed back the crumpling sense of despair as he nodded earnestly. "That's okay," he whispered, as if not to spook a wild animal. "I... I'll show you." He had so much he wanted to say, so much that he wanted to show her. If he had been honest since the beginning, he wouldn't have hurt her. But maybe if he was honest now, it wasn't too late — he could still fix things. "You have my heart, Y/N," he continued softly, "—and you can break it, if you want, if you'll give me another chance—"
"I don't need it," she said quietly, looking away from him again. "Nor do I want it."
— — — — —
Remus stopped dreaming as he stopped sleeping.
"You should get some sleep tonight, mate," James said as he edged near his friend. "Full moon coming up."
Remus grunted in his response as he continued writing at his desk.
"Prongs is right," Sirius agreed, exchanging a quick look with the others. "She'll come around soon, anyone with eyes can see how you look at her. And how she looks at you."
"Why don't you talk to her again?" James suggested gently as he sat on the edge of Remus's bed.
"She doesn't want to," Remus said quietly, a blot of ink pooling at the end of his quill as he tried not to think about their last conversation.
"Why not write her a letter then?" Sirius asked. "Look, Moony, we're worried about you..."
A letter, Remus thought dimly as he stared down at the parchment in front of him.
Cariad, he began before setting his quill down to stare at the word. The first time he had called her cariad had been a slip of tongue. When he was younger, before his father had burnt himself out trying to find a cure to his lycanthropy, his father used to call his mother cariad. It was like a gentle period at the end of each sentence, an endearment that said everything all at once.
It had slipped into the end of his sentence one morning when he had asked her if she wanted orange juice or apple juice. Maybe it was too early to confess love, but it had slipped out, subtle and quiet like their time together.
"What's that?" She had asked, her attention now caught. "Car-iad," she said slowly, as she tried pronouncing the word carefully. Remus had thought he could have kissed her then.
"It's Welsh," he had said, keeping his tone light and casual as he reached for her cup.
But she had been as attentive as ever, her eyes seeing right through him as they tracked across his face carefully. It didn't help that he could feel his ears begin to burn. Despite himself though, Remus delighted being under her attention, and had relished it even as she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "For?"
Remus had schooled his expression carefully. "For 'Y/N can never pick between orange juice and apple juice,'" he had deadpanned, inwardly delighting in the way her lips twitched as she huffed, unconvinced.
"Today is an orange juice day," she had declared finally. Remus had bit back a smile as he poured her juice. When she took it, she had smiled at him around the rim of the cup. "Thank you, cariad."
Remus had thought that he was dreaming.
Remus picked up his quill again and got a fresh sheet of parchment. Dove, he began again before promptly crossing it out. A new piece of parchment. Y/N, he started again. Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. He missed saying her name. When the squeeze in his chest got too tight to ignore, he set his quill down and rested his forehead against his desk and closed his eyes. He had hurt her so terribly, the person he loved. And Remus resented himself for it. He didn't have the right to call her cariad or dove or darling or anything anymore. He didn't have the right to wallow in pity. He didn't have the right to try to fix things when she so clearly didn't want him anymore.
"Remus Lupin," a voice snapped sharply as the door to the dormitory flew open with a boom. "How could you—"
“Lily!” James blurted in clear alarm. "Lily, what are you doing here?"
"I'm here because you lot have really gone too far this time," Lily seethed, her eyes as fiery as her hair as she stalked into the room. "Remus, I thought you were better than this! Y/N hasn't—"
"Lily!" James jumped to his feet in a rare show of courage against the witch. He let out a nervous laugh, but to his credit, stood firm even as Lily rounded on him. “You’re making him feel worse!”
For a moment, Lily turned on James, an incredulous expression on her face before her gaze slid over to Remus, who still hadn’t looked up during the exchange. She faltered, her scowl softening as her gaze darted back to James who gave her an encouraging nod. But then the fiery-haired girl straightened. “He should feel bad,” she admonished, though the venom had begun to dissipate from her voice. 
“And he does,” Sirius supplied helpfully from his corner of the room. “Moony hasn’t really, er, moved or spoken in days, really. We’re all getting concerned.”
"Well neither has Y/N," Lily grumbled, though her tone was beginning to soften rapidly.
This caught his attention. Remus lifted his head to look at her. "Has she been taking care of herself?"
Lily narrowed her eyes at him, a crease forming between her brow as she looked at him assessingly. "Have you been taking care of yourself?"
Remus didn't say anything to this as he turned to rummage through his desk. "Will you make sure she eats and sleeps properly?" He said before finding the stack of parchment he had been looking for.
"It took me nearly an hour to get her to understand that I wasn't a part of the mess you had created," Lily said, though not harshly. Remus ignored the look of pity in her eyes as he busied himself with cobbling together a few more sheets of parchment. "I think you should be the one making sure she's alright."
At this, he paused to look down at the parchment. “She doesn’t want to be in the same room as me, let alone speak with me,” Remus pointed out, his voice unsteady. In a quieter voice, he added, “She can’t even stand looking at me.”
The room fell silent. Then finally, Lily spoke up again. "Fine. I'll check up on her but not for you, but because I'm her friend. And if you ever considered her at least a friend, you ought to do it too sometime and have a proper conversation with her."
Remus bit the inside of his cheek as he turned to proffer the stack of parchment to Lily. "Can you also give these notes to her? It's for Ancient Runes. I charmed the handwriting so she won't know it's from me, but—"
"Remus," Lily sighed, but took the notes anyways as she looked down at his desk curiously before sitting down on the edge of his bed. A pause. Remus could feel her eyes seeing right through him. "Were you ever going to tell her?"
Remus tried not to look like he was unraveling. "I don't know," he admitted honestly. "I wanted to and I didn't want to all at once all the time."
He had thought about telling her before. But to do so meant that he would have to tell her about his condition, and that had sent him into a stricken spiral every time he had thought about it. He had thought that if he told her, she would look at him differently, with pity or repulsion in her eyes. He had been so afraid, so, terrified, of that look that every time the truth nearly bubbled out of his throat, he'd choke on it. But now Remus knew that the worse thing wasn't that she would look at him like he was a monster. It was that she wouldn't look at him at all.
It had always felt like he was running on stolen time, but each grain of sand in their hourglass had felt so startling incandescent that it had been easy to pretend that they weren't trapped in a fragile glass of his own making.
Every moment he had thought to tell her, she would turn and look at him with such fond adoration that Remus would swallow the words back in. She always made for such an arresting sight that Remus felt his breath still as affection would bloom so violently, so dizzingly, so distractingly, in his chest that it became hard to say anything at all.
He was distracted by the way little crinkles would form on her nose when she was thinking too hard. He was distracted by the way he could hear her smile in her words. He was distracted by the way she breathed and walked and loved, slow and steady, to a silent metronome.
And the honest truth was that Remus was more than happy to be distracted by her.
— — — — —
When Remus woke up from a dreamless sleep the morning after the full moon, he found himself, predictably, in a bed in the Infirmary. It must have only been dawn — he could tell the room was still dim behind his eyelids as he did his mental check of his limbs. No new scars please, he thought wryly once he confirmed all his limbs were in place, albeit sore and strained. Remus sighed. Then came the more dreaded question.
"Did anyone get hurt?" He asked, his voice hoarse from his transformation.
He expected one of the boys to respond, but when no response came, his eyes flew open in a panic. They normally stayed the night in the Infirmary to get their checkup from Madam Pomfrey — Remus knew they were just there to keep him company, though they always deflected when he tried to usher them back to the dorms — and they were normally the first to assure him that no one had gotten hurt. Alarmed, Remus sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed hastily to look around, his joints groaning in protest.
"Are you hurt?" A voice next to him asked.
He was dreaming again.
Y/N was sitting in a chair next to his bed, alarm quickly breaking through the remnants of the sleepiness that clung onto her eyes as she scanned him hastily as if to ensure he was still in one piece. There was an imprint of his blanket on her cheek. Remus's fingers twitched to rub it when she spoke up again. "Should I call Madam Pomfrey?"
So it wasn't a dream.
At the sobering realization, Remus shook his head hastily. "No, I, uh, I'm fine," he said, the words faltering on his lips. Suddenly he felt very seen. He had never wanted her to see him after a transformation, especially not then, when he was all fresh scars and worn bones. He felt like a shell of himself. "What are you doing here?" He asked quietly, fixing his gaze on his hands and noticing a new scar across the back of his hand, still red and shallow. He couldn't quite look at her now as shame and mortification flooded his system.
For the first time in his life, he wished she wasn't looking at him.
"You guys normally come back earlier on full moons," she said, still looking at him. "I was worried that..." She fell silent. So she had even known their schedule, he despaired.
"I see," Remus said tightly, feeling drained.
When he didn't say anything else, she spoke up again tentatively. "Sirius told me to tell you that no one got hurt—"
Chagrin and shame roiled in his stomach as he stared at the new scar on his hand. "You can go back now," he interrupted, grasping the blanket tightly. He wished she wasn't looking at him, he wished that he didn't have a new scar, he wished that the floor would just open up and swallow him whole.
He wished this was all just a bad dream.
"I'll go if you want me to go," she said quietly. Remus couldn't tell what expression she was making because he couldn't bare to look at her. Pity, fear, disgust. He was sure he'd never recover if she was looking at him like that— "But I... I don't want to go."
His gaze darted from his hands to her face. She was biting on the inside of her cheek, her eyes wide and imploring and distracting. Slowly, it became easy to breathe again. The imprint of the blanket was fading from her cheek. Remus still wanted to rub it off.
"Okay," he acquiesced, the word coming out as a soft breath. She relaxed back into the chair. "I never wanted you to see me like this," he murmured quietly, feeling all too cracked open under her gaze.
"Remus," she began, also whispering as if not to break the fragile peace between them. His heart stuttered dangerously at the sound of his name from her lips, but he shouldered forward, adamant to not let himself start dreaming again.
"Have you... been well?" Remus asked, first as a deflection before he took in the shadows on her face. It was like once he started, he couldn't stop. "Have you been eating properly and sleeping enough—"
"Remus," she said again, this time more urgently and softly. "I got your letters."
Remus paused, his dry throat clicking as he swallowed. "So you knew the notes were from me," he murmured, rubbing at the base of his neck. "Sorry, I thought they would help, but I'll stop if you're uncomfortable—"
"No, I mean, I got your letters," she said, reaching into her book bag.
To his horror, she pulled out a stack of parchment. Some of them had were heavily creased from being balled up, but someone had carefully straightened them and piled them up. "You weren't supposed to see those," he blurted, mortified now. "I threw those away."
"I know," she said, her gaze fixed on the letters. They weren't really letters at all — he had never been able to get past how to address her. He could catch glimpses of his chicken scratch handwriting. Y/N. Dove. My sweet girl. Cariad. My love. Cariad. Cariad. Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. "Lily gave them to me. She also gave me this—" Carefully, Y/N pulled another familiar piece of parchment from her bag. This one was filled and messy with different colored inks across time.
Remus's mouth went dry. He didn't need to look at it to know what it was because he had it memorized.
Ketchup and pepper with eggs (prefers sunny-side up)
Three younger brothers
Likes mum's knitted sweater the most -> owl mum how she did it??
No favorite color, but it's probably green and yellow??
Needs a midday nap most days
Likes long skirts (or is it because I complimented it?)
Y/N is Sisyphus and the question of orange juice or apple juice is the rock
Peonies
Chocolate frogs (non-jumping)
Always needs hair ties -> ask Lily if Hogsmeade has any
Tea = 3 sugars, lots of milk (prefers juice though)
Give notes for Ancient Runes
Find out if there are hair tying charms
Jane Austen
Christmas ideas: skirts, cat, necklace, journal, hair ties
"You weren't supposed to see that," he said again dumbly.
"I know," she said again. A pause. "I believe you."
Remus's head snapped up to see that she was looking at him. He was dreaming again. He shook himself out of it. "No, you don't have to," he said hastily.
"No, Remus, I believe you that it was real," she said, her words choppy as she wrung her hands together. He wanted to reach out and cover her hand with his but instead he sat perfectly still. "But I— But I was so hurt by you," she whispered.
"I'm so sorry," he said with every fiber of his being. "I was afraid and selfish and I hurt you and there's no forgiving that."
"But Remus," she said, looking up at him finally. "I've missed you. I miss you so much and I don't know what to do—" Her voice cracked. Remus felt like something in him cracked open again.
"Oh, cariad," he breathed. "Can I—" He faltered, but miraculously, she picked up on what he meant. Wordlessly, she surged into his arms and for the first time in weeks, he felt like he could breathe again. "I'm so sorry, my sweet girl," he murmured into her hair as he breathed in her familiar scent. "If... if you'll have me again, can we start over?"
"Only if it's for real this time," she mumbled into his shoulder with a dry huff of a laugh as she clutched him back. God, he missed her laugh.
He pressed a kiss against her temple, the first of many. "It's real. Very real."
Remus prayed he wasn't dreaming anymore.
— — — — —
a/n: thanks for reading :^) would love to hear thoughts! my masterlist here
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lillysilvermoon · 11 months
Text
What your Future Spouse will admire about you?
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Pile 1
Your reading is SO BEAUTIFUL Pile 1, really😭😭
First of all: you have a very feminine energy (high priestess) which is like kryptonite for man🤣😁. You see, the hight priestess have a profound connection with God/Goddess. She believes everyone has their own inner guidance to lead them to their true potential. And you do this! You trust your intuition, follow your heart and your instincts and this makes your s.p just go crazy, I feel like he is very logical and he admires your away of leadership, in your own away (doesn't matter if you realize this or not) you are a leader, you inspire people without even realizing it. With you, he feels healed, you just bring so much peace, calmness and joy to him. And talking about joy: you have a childlike personality, you inner child is very happy and free, you know when it's time to be silly (happy dance) and he admires this in you, you bring his child side and makes he feels comfortable to play and just be silly with you. I feel like my heart will explode of joy right now so I think that's how he feels with you, and this makes he admire you a lot because at the same time you are a very elegant, femine and wise, very responsible you ALSO are fun to be with, you know how to play and you have this magic to him. (He loves you so very much I just can't 😭💗).
And you are confident, I feel you have the mindset of "what is mine will find me" so if something goes wrong you just drive to overcome the obstacle in a positive way. When you have a goals, you work with very fierce energy to bring them to fruition (but the thing is: you do all fo this in a very feminine, gentle and fun way, and he just admires you incredible for this).
Signs: jupiters placements, Gemini, cancer and aries and number's 6,9,5 and 8 (I think cancer's placements are important because cancer's symbol looks like a 69 and you had this two numbers. Cam also be dates or months), books, library, education, parks, lakes and flowers. (And music!!!!!! Omg I think it's important to youu or them, maybe he'll communicate his feelings by songs)
P.S: I was going to pile two but I just heard this: you help them to heal his inner child in some way, and this is something very very important to them and by extension to y'all relationship.
P.S²: I was again going to Pile two- but here it is: he admires you for that because, I feel like this problem with his inner child maybe has affected in a negative way his others relationships and you, somehow, handle this really easy, you don't even realize actually (and I just saw he looking to any place in particular think about this and feeling genuinely happy)
Blonde and redhead for some feel here.
Pile 2
Finally I'm here, hello pile 2♡ let's get into your reading shall we?
Calmness. You are so calm, even in the worst situations, you maintain a sense of peace (or try your best to!). I see here that you have multiple interests and you try to balance all of them and other areas of your life, but you don't stress yourself with this. It's like, if doesn't work it's fine, cause you are adaptable and flexible (and he REALLY admires this because I feel like your future Spouse has a tiny-bit-tittie problem with control (wink nod) and you are kind of the opposite lmao, he see you having all this interests and priorities but... it's not a obligation like "omg I HAVE to do ALL" no. You want to do all, but it's okay if don't work some days, he admires you organization and the way you management your time and schedule. I feel your s.p like calm and stable people, he doesn't like unnecessary drama in his life and you just have this flow, if something doesn't work you just be flexible and this is important too: you think before make decisions! 100% not reactive, you think and go inwards before choosing anything. And you have a introspective side that he just loves too much.
I feel like you are someone who brings them peace love and very good advices when needed (after all no one likes be with someone who just complains, fight for every minimal thing, always need to be right to feel "respected" etc, he admires the peace bring with you.) I feel he deals with a lot of stress in his work place and when he sees you... it's too good, like a oasis.
Signs: poems, tea, wind place, scorpio, leo, sagittarius, venus, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune placements are important, numbers 7, 11 and 12 (can be days, months or house in astrology; 7 represents love and commercial partnerships and our relation with public, 11 it's ruled by Saturn and Uranus (definitely a lot of air sign) and talks about flow, strong thinking and important of expansion and 12 it's the house of our unconscious, fears, dreams and spirituality)
Pile 3
I feel like you give a lot of importance to material possessions, you don't act like "Oh money isn't important blablabla" you know money is important, you work to have a good life, to you things like good education, good house in a great neighborhood, travel to have fun but to also acquire culture and knowledge, good clothes with quality. This are important too you (is giving me old money mindset vibes and if you don't know about it, and I'm NOT talking about the "old money" from Tiktok - I highly recommend the "The Old Money Book: Living better while spending less" to you, it's very short has 158 pages) but you don't live FOR money, the money is your servant not your master!
He admires how you always seem to have a behavior like "this is only temporary and shall pass soon" when something bad or uncomfortable happens, and he really admires this. You have a very outgoing personality, full of energy and optimism (and you have some kind of sex appeal but in a elegant way), you are not afraid to work to have the things you desire, your energy is very positive and uplifting (I feel like your future Spouse enjoys SO MUCH talk to you, he loves to see you so determined to get the things you want and he has this feeling that you two will evolve and grow together.
Also: you are a generous soul, with money and with your time, love and affection and wisdom. Maybe you are into some charity, you are very loving and loyal and this... big turn on to them, I think it's honestly the thing he admires most about you, your personality, your values. You like a rare jewel to them.
Signs: VERY strong water placements, pisces, scorpio and cancer, moon, sun and Mars placements (makes so much sense because mars rules goals) numbers 6, 5, 4 and 8 (can be days, months or house. 6 its concrete and practical knowledge, it's also associated to cleanse, maintenance, work capacity and routine service's (again: makes so much sense, you guys value quality and take care of what you have so last longer, don't have need to buy new things), 5 it's you creative side, what gives you pleasure, 4 it's what we have most profound in us and 8 transition of life and things, ending of cycles).
Hope y'all like this reading, it's my first reading related to love and I'm so happy, I had so much fun doing this and hope you guys too. See you in the next reading.
Xoxo
- Lia
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libraryofloveletters · 3 months
Text
Jingle Bells
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Jenson Button x Fem!Reader
Warnings: family based, jenson is a dilf!!! but somehow also acts like a child, it's past all the button boys' bedtimes, the magic of christmas is lacking apparently - according to jenson that is, some family sweetness.
Word Count: 447
Author's Note: was gonna make this sugar daddy jense but im like lemme give y'all a wholesome one lmao.
--
The kids are convinced that they hear the bells on Santa’s sleigh, and Jenson is the exact same way. 
"Alright, that was the second story," you peek into the bedroom, finding Jenson sitting between your two sons' beds, the book on his lap. "It's past your bedtime and I know your daddy doesn't have the heart to tell you that it's bedtime, but it is."
"Awh please mama!" Your youngest, James, begs. "Please! Just one more!"
You sit on the edge of his bed, patting his leg as Jenson put the book away. "I'm sorry bubba, but you know the rules. "If you don't go to bed, Santa won't know to stop and drop off your gifts."
Alex, your oldest, giggles. "But mama, Santa knows."
"Yeah?" You asked, glancing at your husband. "Who says so?"
"Don't you hear it?" He asks, sitting up in his bed. "Listen! You can hear his sleigh."
Your brows furrow, glancing at your husband for backup on getting them to go to bed. Jenson being the big kid he was, was no help. "That's probably the tv, buddy. I forgot to turn it off."
James sits up, his blue eyes wide with excitement. "I hear it too, mama!"
You look over at Jenson in a last ditch attempt for some back up, hoping to get them to go to bed but Jenson's ears perk up like a puppy hearing the treat bag shake. "I heard it too."
The two boys are out of their beds, running to their dad as he pulls the curtains back.
The 3 button boys looking out the window in all directions trying to find Santa.
You sigh, letting them have their moment before ushering them back to bed. "Bedtime for all of you," you tell them, kissing James on the forehead and then doing the same to Alex. "I'll see you two in the morning, I love you."
A chorus of I love yous follows before I turn the lights off and shut the door.
You find your husband in bed, it seems he too took the bedtime signal and hopped into bed. You switched off the light, crawling into bed with him. Jenson wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him.
His head on your chest, his week old stubble scratching at your skin.
"You're like a big kid," you whisper, brushing his hair back. He chuckles, you can feel him smiling. "How?"
"No way you heard Santa's sleigh too."
He smiles again. "I did too. You've just got to believe in the magic of Christmas and not be such a grinch."
"Remind me again who was up until 3 last night wrapping gifts and who was drooling on the pillow?" You looked down at him, Jenson chuckles.
"Okay okay, I get it."
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mauesartetc · 3 months
Text
If y'all are hungry for a character design challenge, might I recommend the "ideas grid" section in "Fundamentals of Character Design"? (Seriously, read this book. It's GOOD.)
The book encourages the reader to choose some themes from the categories provided, but that seems a bit easy for my taste. I figure I'll just gravitate toward the design elements I'm already fond of, and where's the fun in that? Where's the challenge in doing something I've done a hundred times before?
Thus, I'm adding a component of randomization. I'll number the items in each list from 1 to 20 and use a random number generator to pick one from each (using the first selected number for the first category, the second number for the second category, and so on). Then I'll design a character based on the results, and so can you!
Category 1: Anatomy
Tall
Tiny
Muscular
Short
Angular
Soft
Broad
Adolescent
Square
Strong
Slim
Elderly
Athletic
Curvy
Infant
Petite
Elongated
Average
Round
Middle-aged
Category 2: Style
Colorful
Plain
Practical
Severe
Fashionable (the book had "stylish" here but I felt a stylish style would be too vague lol)
Minimalist
Eccentric
Vintage
Neat
Sporty
Mismatched
Alternative
Cozy
Outdated
Smart
Messy
Boring
Comfortable
Expensive
Simple
Category 3: Emotion
Cheerful
Afraid
Eager
Sad
Shy
Annoyed
Curious
Worried
Overjoyed
Awkward
Relaxed
Disgusted
Tired
Surprised
Wistful
Bored
Pitying (the book had "kind" here, but that's more a personality trait than it is an emotion. So I went with an emotion that would lead someone to acts of kindness.)
Awed
Excited
Furious
Category 4: Color
Warm
Dark
Vibrant
Pale
Cool
Autumnal
Contrasting
Nocturnal
Neutral
Deep
Faded
Tropical
Clashing
Pastel
Analogous
Bright
Natural
Monochrome
Neon
Light
Category 5: Role
Hero
Explorer
Learner
Entertainer
Guardian
Worker
Villain
Helper
Troublemaker
Fighter
Parent
Royalty
Henchman
Thinker
Wanderer
Rebel
Companion
Teacher
Trickster
Civilian
Category 6: Item
Book
Hat
Phone
Scarf
Weapon
Necklace
Cloak
Spectacles
Briefcase
Artifact
Torch
Coat
Spade
Rucksack
Cane
Key
Map
Belt
Glove
Earring
Category 7: Setting
Magical
Modern
Aquatic
Castle
Garden
Vehicle
Urban
Historical (might pull out the random date generator for this one)
Library
Spooky
Futuristic
Beach
School
Forest
Zoo
Shop
Dystopian
Street
Office
Mountain
Obviously these are just starting points and you don't have to include something from every category, though doing so in a natural, cohesive way would be an impressive flex of your design skills. Let me know which words y'all got, and if you design a character based on them, drop a link!
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