#ya know how the saying goes

[scatterbrainedbot]

the trouble with being the one who survives is you must keep on doing it

inspired directly by @onionninjasstuff 's heart wrenching comic of Future Donnie's death (read it!!)

#my art #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #future donnie #future mikey #future leo #still not a million percent happy with the formating #but this is prolly the closest thing to a 'polished comic' ive made yet #think it wound up more like an 'emotional equivilant of a toddler kicking u in the shins' rather than 'steel bat to the knees' but eh #shrugs #at this point ive stared at it for too long so bam onto the internet it goes #also lmao i was just having fun w leos arm #and i knew it was super not even close to how his canon proesthetic looked #but i was just having fun w the mechanical nonsense #and then later i was like ah shit what color are his pants again lemme go watch a clip and check #and wouldnt ya know it i flipped the colors on his arm too #i think i actually prefer canons green shoulder w red bicep/band butttt #we can say this is an older prototype arm #which would mean donnie mustve left him a shiny new arm #that he'll never get to hear a speech mode ramble explination of #:') #u ever just think about how grief is this thing you have to take with you #its not just something you can walk away from not just an event that happens #its perpetual and part of you now #like its every time you go to make an immediate inside joke but theres no one there to share it #its every question you never got to ask and every new question you never will #every task you must reassign #every doubt that goes unreassured #its a silence that you bring with you to every room #haunting is so selfmade and i love it so much

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

what if You wanted to "post on kofi", but Kofi said "log in"

#im. Im Already Logged In. what more do you want from me #i click log in. it tells me im logged in. i click to my page. it tells me to log in #HUH???? #i act like this is new! this has been going on! for A While! #but i've just now decided to publicly bitch about because im. well i want to! who am i if not a Complainer! #LET ME POST. MY ART. THERE. #YA LIL FUCKER! #let me innnnn LET ME INNNN #absolutely unprompted #it also Bugged The Fuck Out when i tried to sign in #and it was like 'ouuuuughhhhhh your password is wronnggggg reset it' #ok. Ok. i'll reset it #and then kofi showed me my 'old' password and it was THE EXACT SAME THING I HAD BEEN TYPING IN. TIME AND TIME AGAIN. #who do i have to maim! huh! WHO! #point me at a jugular i can rip out with my teeth! #kofi: this is what you can do. log in or tip yourself #EXCEPT!!! i cant log in. bc im already logged in. but no im not #i ask kofi Am I Logged In and it says 'well yes. but actually no' #you know! this goes right in line with how my life has gone so far! this is very On Brand! #i dont know how i do it #but i manage to fuck things up in new never before seen ways! i genuinely consider it a Skill!

[giantchasm]

Y’know, something I think about a lot in the context of Triple Deluxe and more specifically Sectonia is how both spiders and wasps are some of the most hated, despised creatures on the planet.

People do not like either of these animals. They’re perceived as terrifying, dangerous pests. It’s interesting, because Sectonia effectively went from being one detested type of bug to being another.

I feel like, on paper, there are other types of insects HAL could have chosen that are much more commonly associated with beauty: ladybugs, dragonflies and, of course, butterflies just to name a few.

So why did HAL choose to make her a wasp of all things?

I almost feel like it has to be a commentary on her character. Something about how no matter how she changed herself she was never going to truly be someone she liked or was satisfied with. She could try and she could try to become someone else, but she’d never escape what she was inside: just a gross, unlovable bug.

#Kirby #sectonia #Queen sectonia #‘sack its Christmas Eve are you still seriously thinking about the spiders?’ ya #also I hope this goes without saying but I’m not implying spiders or wasps are actually disgusting or deserve the hate they get #any demeaning language used towards them here is to emphasize both how they’re perceived by the public #and how sectonia might perceive herself #I am admittedly afraid of both animals but I’m trying to work through it because of her and taranza #I know they’re not real but also I hate the thought of making them feel bad

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sometimes u volunteer to do a paper for lab meeting and choose something that's like just above you head #just enough to b like: god dammit i should kno this. im gonna sound so fucking dumb trying to explain this #bc my lab mates 1000% know more on the topic than me 😭 but ya kno. so it goes. #i should have picked an easier paper. no i shouldnt say that. ive had fun with this one but i wish it didn't make me feel so stupid #i just think the D1 protein is really neat. and chl f uses 2 of... paralogs. one of which is real fucking old #its just really cool how with genetics u can look back in time at a mess that became what we see today #ugh. i should sleep. i still have lots to read abt before 11 tomorrow. thank christ my doctors appointment got moved #unrelated

[dickinson-devotee]

I WANT THAT SHIRT SO MUCH

#bruce dickinson #iron maiden #doctor who #dalek #goes without saying that i want him too but ya know #how is he so handsome it's ridiculous

[socksandbuttons]

SHE’S YOUR CHILD!!!!! This is why she has issues!!! Anyway, idk who i told about Soul’s other Uh ‘Parent’. But its Fresh. He’s not a really good dude to raise a child. This is what happens when you go ‘Lol whats gonna happen? they develop a sense of self and are actually a child with feelings?’

#its okay soul uncle tama will bully fresh for you #(i say knowing she'll never allow it.) #undertale au #Soul baby girl #fresh sans #i think i had more but. fresh goes from 'lol okay u can get a hug' to 'yeah deal with it urself kiddo or ill kill ya~' #she thinks this is normal despite it hurting her feelings so much #shes not fully aware thats not how you treat people yet #but dont worry #she gets a better dad #who actually hugs her and tells her she'll be okay #myart

[ace-malarky]

oh beans I knew there was another reason I went on here lmao anyway

running out of time before I go to work but y'all know I'm gonna be kicking about at work bc uhhh yeeah. well.

Anyway weekend game? same stuff as last weekend! Except I'm in my own flat this time!

The WIPs

Shapeshifter wip (Syn/Halliel, fantasy, star crossed lovers (fun little shapeshifter spy dude and the War that is Coming))

Soul of the Party (fantasy, light detective shenanigans)

DnD (specific characters are; Maverick, Tem, Chant/Luci/Makaria, Razmatazz, Tosh, Karo, Phorg (specific file names; Dumb of Ass, Snake of Tits; The Life and Lies of Makaria Chant; Always Yearned to be a Concert Pianist. Raz/Tosh/Karo/Tem don't have specific titles yet jsksks))

Dorks 'n' Disasters (fate based ttrpg currently in edits. Full first arc draft can be seen at @dorksndisasters)

But hey listen if you want to ask about any of the others, go crazy go wild

The Games

Three by Threes: For each filename you receive in your ask box, reply to the ask with 3+ NEW sentences on that WIP.

Lore Corner: Answer questions about your WIP. It can be anything from headcanons to backstory that you have for your WIP that don't even make it into the fic. Askers - get creative with your questions! (If you are playing Lore Corner, please give a single-sentence description of each of your WIPs so askers have some context)

#talkin' malarky #weekend wip game #so obviously me saying I was going to remake this pretty when I got back was a lie #maybe next week ahahaha no I'm away again #what is my life #I should probably go for that tram now actually #considering I still need to throw stuff in my bag #meant to do this last night; didn't. flatmate was back so I had Things to Say #and also cooking. and then bg3 you know how it goes #if you're asking dnd and don't specify chances are it'll be maverick or tem #anyway yeah I gotta go!! #smooches see ya

[bylertruther]

me wanting mike to thank el for the painting and unknowingly light That fire vs me wanting el to be the one to bring up the painting and give mike a crisis bc Oh Shit. That's The Painting?! THE Painting?! I'M THE GIRL?!

#i hope that he sits with that information for a while regardless #like maybe he goes to will or tries to bring it up but he chokes up bc What The Fuck Is He Supposed To Say Actually. so will is just like #'.... are u ok mike? 🤨🥺' and mike is just like 'ummmmmm ya no im . yep i'm Fine 👍 everything is Soooo cool aha . 👀 ... .. 🫣😳🏳️‍🌈' n #they move on and he's just . Visibly Thinking Through This but he doesn't know how to approach tht yet so he Doesn't #until he does ofc :p

[unusualshrimp]

hmm gender thoughts

#the people who made pronouns page have another website right #and one of the options there is you can pin your gender on a gradient that goes hypermasculine -> androgynous -> hyperfeminine #and it's like a linear gradient and i hate that SO MUCH. this is hostile architecture for Me Specifically #[disclaimer that if you find that type of thing helpful that's completely fine] #but anyway my gender is like. im a guy but not in a trans guy way #and im a girl but NOT in a cis girl way and i call myself girl in my head a lot but i am a bit Sensitive about how other people use it? #and im always thinking too hard about ''are they acknowledging my 5D chess gender or subconsciously saying it because of my appearance'' #if someone called me androgynous or whatever im stabbing them though. idk that just feels so... gender neutral? and im not gender neutral #do ya feel me. #i feel a bit silly typing all this but ah this is the transgender website i think u all would understand me #im a guy like. you know the weird guy who shows up overdressed to casual events but he looks nice so its fine really #and also like. guy who always wears black and looks cool [the cool might just be in my head but thats fine] #and. i might have to think harder abt how i feel regarding Girl ™. i dont want to discard it because i do love doing my own thing with it #but also like being perceived as a cis girl (intentionally or unintentionally) makes me want to jump out of my body. lol. anyway #this is all so sucks honestly my favourite gender is just creature. #you see a thing so weird you just go '' oh god what is that'' and not gender. although i do like the flavour of it/its that is so niceys... #like yeas i want to be a scary looking thing (unattainable) but also.... what if i was jus a lil creature. #and i sat at your door and made 🥺 faces until u let me in and then i sat cosy near your fireplace for a bit... thatd be nice #i dont want to worry about gender anymore i want headpats....................... #oh jesus uhh #long post #<- for the tags

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

Funny that I say something like ‘to overshare or not overshare’ when I’m going to anyway. Pfft.

So, hell, why not. Rambling MGS4 thoughts below. Though I won’t be using my standard MGS tags, since I want to keep it out of the main tags. This is all mainly nonsense anyway, but I want to eventually put them out there b/c I want to replay this again and Idk. You guys know how allergic I am to shutting up.

TW: Medical, Death, Abuse, SA Mention (Non-Descriptive)

I finished MGS4 in a haze, crying hysterically and bothered to a point I couldn’t even lay my finger on. For a while I let it sit and just didn’t know what, exactly, had bothered me so much.

As the game went on, I noticed vaguely somewhere around maybe the half way mark this was bugging me, but I chalked it up to the sad nature of the game itself, and left it at that. I have no issue with the themes within the game, and you all know how much I embrace bothersome or disturbing content. And if you don’t, well. Now you do. I’m not shy about liking morally questionable content, nor disturbing content.

In any case-that wasn’t the issue.

No, the issue was Snake’s aging. Or, more specifically, the way the game presented it. Of all things.

But-eh, hear me out.

When I was a teenager, my life was hectic. I worked to help my mum pay the bills, but had to quit after an SA that I was blamed for (I was sixteen, and the victim, but I’d apparently asked for it. Whatever, fuck cops anyway). My grandfather was slowly dying from terminal illness, and time not spent at school or helping my mum was taking care of him. He had a variety of illnesses, but one of them, COPD, had him suffering violent coughing fits that he’d black out from. When he used to sit up, he’d cough himself unconscious, and sometimes end up on the floor. I’d call ambulances those days; I wasn’t able to lift him. I knew how to distribute his meds, his masks. All that stuff. I’d be woken up from a dead sleep to him calling my name, or coughing so loud I knew he needed the meds now. Fill the mask, do the tubes, fix the oxygen tank levels. I was very sleep deprived for most of my High School years.

(Only to go to class the next day and have my friends nag me about my slipping grades, askdnsajk) anyway.

I was pretty close to my grandpa. My dads, well anyway. Not worth discussing rn. My grandmother, his wife, died when I was 14.  I was raised by my mum and my grandparents. My grandfather wasn’t even that old during all this-early 60′s, and everyday I just watched him slowly fading away, unable to do ANYTHING to stop the inevitable as he had another coughing fit, another shake, etc.

In any case, he passed when I was 19, and time has it’s natural way of having things get pushed aside, I went through even more upheaval in my early 20′s that lead to a serious mental breakdown around 25-26 that had me admitted to a psyche ward. Eventually I was diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder, Psychosis and PTSD,

Things changed, I got my mental health under control, and life carries on.

And then I played MGS4 this year.

It’s funny, things I’d forgotten all about just crashing to the surface, seeing reflections through a screen like that. How my brain was ticking through watching Snake smoke through his violent coughing fits (Something my grandfather did up until one of his hospitalizations FINALLY got him to quit). The general helplessness Hal has, because there’s NOTHING you can do. Hell these days *I’m* chronically ill but not..terminally ill. I think they did much of Snake’s ageing and decline well, I guess for my brain? Too well.

S’funny, and maybe even kinda dumb. Stuff you don’t even think bothers you anymore, just sort of. Comes too a head.

It’s not like this post has a point. I am capable of controlling my own media intake. And there’s a large part of me that even wants to replay it! I just think it’s..strange how brains work. And how the most random things can be so big when they reflect your life in the most..disconnected and bizarre way.

Or something. Maybe I just wanted this out in the open cos that’s how I function (though some of my friends had heard this before from me).

Brains are weird. Life’s weird. But hey.

#nate rambles #in ANY case it's not like i don't like the game i DID enjoy playing it quite a lot #it only took me a month to realize that most ppl didn't spend six hrs after finishing it sobbing hysterically and numb #and it took me even longer to realize what upset me so much and why it was even such a big deal #but ya know im not that bright all the time as i've said #oh and i think this goes without saying but i am more than ok nw #it's just interesting to me how long it took me to clue myself in

[journey-to-the-attic]

I want you to know that JTTA literally inspires the most gut wrenching emotions in me 😭😭 SHE CALLED HIM BELPHIE !!!! <33

Mammon saying I love you over the walkie talkie. And what if that was my last straw !!!!! /pos

Everything about them fammmmly just ..... I don't know something about the way you write them all together makes me pace around so bad I LOVE IT SO MUCH words actually can't describe thank you so much

This is off topic but I was rewatching Encanto for the funnies and these lines in All Of You:

"We see how bright you burn

We see how brave you've been

Now see yourself in turn...

"You're the real gift, kid, let us in.""

It made me think of the brothers saying that to IK (especially after she and Belphie start bonding) and I collapsed onto the hardwood floor

ANYWAYS !!! I hope you've been well, thank you dearly again for the meal

oh the encanto lyrics are so cute :(((((((((

trust me i also go so insane about the family in my head, i'm happy i can share the feeling!!! if it hit you just imagine being belphie in that situation... he internally went nuclear i can only assume

#answering asks #whensam #fun fact: mammon being the brother who likes to casually drop a 'love you' was something i had in mind since the beginning #i debated including it just in case it was ooc - you know since he goes all tsundere about saying feelings out loud in game #but after how his bond with ik's progressed it just felt like a natural step to take ya know? #i think their relationship is pretty fundamentally different to the one mammon has with mc in-game anyway #anyway thank you!!!! #<33

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#i need to stop doomscrolling its four in the morning im so exhausted i technically have school shit i needed to finish and i have to get up #to go to class in a few hours too #it helps nothing either. its horrible to look and its horrible to look away and they both do absolutely nothing past a point just like w th #other endless amount of absolutely horrible things going on in the world rn #theres no new information now either. just the fallout and seeing what comes next #this and no other horrible thing going on in the world is abt us and how it affects us emotionally obviously like that's just specs of dust #on the thing itself #but. yeah. i. i dont think the human mind copes well w going from locally based ape empathy to exposure to every horrible thing everywhere #....... russia has bombed more apartments and civilian buildings too :( ppl caught under the rubble and dead #just. dear god.. i just keep thinking that. i just keep saying that to myself. dear god #dear god oh lord of duamne ya allah yarabbi whatever variation its most of what goes through my mind on loop #while my mind runs through so much of it. palestina and all the videos of dead and murdered and the children the videos from last week of #that tourist girl in israel the war in ukraina whats happening in kosovo armenia the uyghurs and china all the conflict in india and #pakistan the state of afghanistan yamen civilians being tortured by gangs in south america torture in general and the prisons around the #world and the slavery and the torture and the killing and the starvation and the pain and the million other things going on i don't even #know about and the fucking climate jesus christ the climate change??? #and my mind just doesnt stop. it goes through so much shit it maps out this horrible web of pain and pain and pain throughout the entire #world ;;_;; #i uh. i desperately need to take more time in my life and for years on end ive needed to tske more time in my life to think #of the good things happening in ths world too. small things big things anything just anything good anything getting better anything thats #working any proof of humanity in this species #i just. . #. #i go through the full range of human emotion from rage to numbness and dissociation to bitterness to shock to nothing shocks me to endless #sorrow to disgust and i end up at the end #feeling like the same kid who wants to cry and ask why can't we just be nicer to each other please. as if its that simple. j wish it was. #god. i wish

[rosicheeks]

F- favorite song?

M- middle name?

S- song last listened to

Y- your last hug?

F - Favorite song (at this very moment)

M - Dona 🫶

S -

Y - my friends 🤗

#hi sweetheart! #I hope you read my last ask cause it goes for you too #I’m sorry I’ve been distant and quiet #(to all my lovely mutuals and friends that I talk to) #I know I say it a lot #but life really has been kicking my ass lately #taking one day at a time that’s all that matters right #but now I have to apply for jobs and who knows how that’ll be on my mental health #anyway mini rant over sorry haha #I just hope you guys know I appreciate you more than words could ever express #you guys are some light in this dark world #thank you so much for existing and being my friend 🫶 #favorite song was a tough one man #so I just did the one that popped into my head right away #it’s just I relate to this song so fucking much #pretty sure I have a draft with this song and ranting about how much I love it and relate to it #anyone who knows me irl KNOWS I’m going to be late #yes I do feel bad and guilty about it #but this song lays out exactly why I’m starting to not care #at least I’m showing up ya know? #idk I know it’s awful #I just really lost all concept of time #time is my enemy and I hate the bitch #Livingston is one of my favorite artists and this is one of my favorite songs by him #it is a collab but I love how deep the lyrics get #also fucking love Hercules and fairytale so much #the lyrics from those songs are written on my heart ya know #thank you for the questions lovely #ask #lovely mutuals

[puthyflapps]

When the world collapses and we move into a post apocalyptic era where shoni images are the new form of currency, how much will this one be worth?

#50 million simoleons at least #also I’m sure everyone has noticed but when EJ smiles her bottom lip pulls further back on one side and it gives her a little crooked smile #and I 🫶🏻 it so there’s that #and then completely unrelated to this post but what if Toni was keeping Shelby company on her assigned fire watching night and they make the #decision together to not stoke the fire 👁👁 and then imagine the drama when it’s revealed to the other girls like imagine they’re suing Dawn #of Eve and Gretchen and her legal team decide to pull a little uno reverse when Shelby or Toni is on the stand and they like straight up ask #ya know if you wanted to return to your lives back home and being on the island was so bad and if it #was also traumatic and dangerous etc etc then why’d you choose not to alert the boat that was out there and then boom roll surveillance clip #DRAMA 😩🤩 #ion know I kind just like the idea of Shelby and Toni having this deep talk on the beach and sharing what their home lives were really like #and Shelby full on drops the facade and really admits just how dark her household was and the fear she has of returning so when they see the #light on the horizon and she goes to get the wood Toni stops her and they stare at one another just long enough to have this silent convo #and go let the boat get away 👁👁👁👁 it’s like they’ve wordlessly made a pact that they’ve promised to uphold until their last days #in this scenario we’ll say miss marty b doesn’t go catatonic because she’s suffered enough and I think it’d be more interesting to see #Martha and Toni’s relationship tested after having such a big betrayal exposed #slay #shoni #toni x shelby #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe #the wilds

[eating-you-alive-cutely]

you should unfollow me lalalala

#idk how to sugar coat saying it so there ya go #I know you wanna I know you do #this isn’t me fishing for compliments or trying to be humble or whatever with that bs #like #legitimately #unfollow me #you don’t have to humor me I know my shit is boring it’s ok i’m cringy and self aware #I’m not mad or depressed just like- I’m looking at my followers and seeing that no one engages with my stuff #and I just wanna mass prune it so bad #it bothers me for organizational reasons #like if you see this post and you’re following me- but don’t know who tf this is- like- seriously #unfollow please #tyty means alot 💞💞 #I’ve wanted to say this for a while but I never knew how to word it without sounding like a bitch #so here ya go I’m a snotty rat face lookit me #joop goes rarara

[leprosycock]

military au thoughts....

SOOOOOOO MANY THOUGHTSSSSSSS god if there was any time to go back to it it’s definitely now. daddy’s good little war criminal!

#IM NOT SAYINGHG ANYTHING BUT IF I WAS . ID BE SAYING SOMETHING #so ya! thought you! might like to! go to the show! #to feel the warm thrill of confusion! that space cadet glow! #i got some bad news for you sunshine lud isn’t well he’s back at the motel #etc etc etc. you know how it goes #bunnyaskz