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lettersfromhav · 7 years

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college advice from someone who’s been on both sides of it

So I'm finishing up my Ph.D. and preparing to depart for the real world (no, just kidding, I'm going to be in school forever, only in a different capacity) and I thought I'd put together a list of some college tips to share with you all. I graduated with my B.A. in 2012, magna cum laude, with 2 majors, 1 honours thesis, 2 on-campus jobs, and 3 music things. Since then, I've gone to grad school and also taught six semesters of first-year seminars. Now I'm going on the job market for teaching positions. All of this means that I've seen both sides of the college experience, as a student and as an instructor. There are a lot of great & useful college advice posts going around studyblr this time of here, and I wanted to add my own. I hope it’s useful. So here we go, with a “read more” because it’s long (sorry if you’re on mobile):

academics

find your classrooms ahead of time (profs' offices too)

figure out how long it will take you to walk between places

figure out where your best seat will be & claim it

say hi to the people next to you, learn their names

take notes in class

take advantage of extra credit

try your best not to fall asleep in class (and if you do fall asleep, apologise to the prof afterwards)

bring your glasses if you need them, don't be stubborn about it

check out the library, wander in the stacks, talk to the librarians

figure out how & where to print

buy used books/textbooks, or rent them, but be careful with ebooks (some profs don't allow them)

plan breaks into your class schedule, or block everything together, whichever works best for you

work out the pros & cons of 8am classes and/or night classes

plan ahead – have a planner, put things in it, do them

fake deadlines are a thing (write down earlier deadlines, trick yourself into meeting them, bask in satisfaction)

grades won’t be what they were in high school

keep in mind GPA values: a 3.5 will see you graduating with honours

be nice to the departmental administrative staff, thank them for helping you (even with small things)

office hours versus emailing profs: both will get your questions answered (probably) but if you can go and talk in person, do it

profs & TAs are people too, they have lives, they have bad days

if something comes up, talk to your prof, be honest but don't overshare, just show them you're trying

on that note, try

ask friends and especially older students for opinions about profs when you're deciding on your classes, but also check things out yourself

if your profs invite you to dinner/coffee/events, show up

unless the prof is not a good person, in which case AVOID and spread the word to your friends

if your friends spread this word to you, believe them

if you end up with a prof that your intuition tells you “no” about, trust that intuition

switch classes, talk to the dept. head, talk to the dean, do whatever you need to do

also document everything (save emails, screenshot things, write it down)

also “confidentiality” might be a lie, even if they tell you that your report is confidential (at my undergrad, only the counseling center & chaplain's offices were truly confidential, and even then only if there was no immediate threat)

the above isn't meant to scare you, just make you aware – statistically, you'll probably meet some people you'll wish you hadn't met, so take care of yourself and know your options

you might change your major a few times and that's ok

if it takes you more than 4 years to graduate, that's ok too

it's not the end of the world if you get a bad grade

it's not the end of the world if you need tutoring

tutoring is awesome & you should take advantage of it, especially if it's free -- campus writing centers are great too

it's not even the end of the world if you have to withdraw from a class, or take a leave of absence

keep at it & you will be fine

food

remember to eat

be nice to the dining hall staff (and all campus staff, especially maintenance/facilities, they are the ones who can help you out)

figure out how to discreetly take food from the dining hall (dry cereal, fruit, a sandwich, not entire pantries please)

keep snacks in your room (and don't eat them all at once)

fruits & vegetables are your friends

you all know this already but stay hydrated

take advantage of free food events on campus (my undergrad had a twitter dedicated to this)

sometimes religious organisations will host them – you can go even if you're not religious, just be polite

find a coffeeshop & be nice to the baristas, tip if you can

but also take it easy on the coffee consumption, you only have one heart

you still have to eat even if you get sick – at least what one of my family members calls the “BRAT diet” (bread, rice, applesauce, tea) until you feel better

if you have allergies, talk to the dining hall staff and explain your situation, ask them for advice & they should be able to help you out

if you feel pressured to diet or lose weight, 1) leave those people, and 2) eat what's right for your body

housing

make a roommate contract (rules for lights on/off, quiet hours, temperature control, guests, cleaning, locked doors, etc.)

don't lose your keys, but also don't wear a lanyard (carabiner inside a backpack pocket is a good plan)

unless lanyards are your thing, in which case, go for it

don't overspend on décor/bedding, go basic & minimal (rooms are small)

figure out how much sleep you need & get it, and try to stick to a routine

bring a padlock or two and some cable, use if it you feel you need to – also, laptop locks are under-rated, get one

bring a mirror, a lamp, and possibly a comfortable desk chair

extension cords with surge protectors are the way to go

if you want to bring a stuffed animal or something just bring it, don't worry about it not being “cool”

bring clothing that makes you feel like yourself when you wear it

get a plant or two and try not to kill it

open floor space creates the illusion of a bigger room

find out how to take out your trash & then actually do it

keep a few basic cleaning supplies in your room (Clorox or Lysol wipes will take care of almost anything in a dorm room, plus maybe a vacuum)

if you have white towels and white sheets, you can wash them together & add a little bleach, they will always look clean

lofted beds look nice but are a pain to change sheets on, just fyi

invest in a mattress topper (I say “invest”; mine was foam and like $20, no need to get super fancy)

if your mattress really is crap, talk to facilities about your options

invest in good headphones (this may actually be an investment)

bring a few favourite non-academic books to keep in your room for when you need a break from school reading

co-ed bathrooms might be a thing, it will be fine

if it's not fine, report it (RA, residence life, campus security) – be safe, kids

shower sandals are your friend – you might also want regular slippers

don't sexile your roommate – that's just rude, it's their room too, they're paying for housing just like you

if you are the one sexiled, have a conversation about it (after the fact, when everyone is clothed again) and lay out the rules

get your RA involved if need be, you have a right to your own room

don't hole up in your room all the time, but also don't be afraid to retreat back to it when you need to

if you have an apartment:

know what the deal is on how/when to pay rent, utilities, etc.; take photos for your security deposit; say hi to your neighbours even if you're not friends; have a basic toolkit; write down the non-emergency numbers for local police & fire and post them on your fridge; learn the system for taking out trash (dumpster, trash tags, etc.); make sure you know parking rules if you have a car; check your mail every day so it doesn't pile up; clean regularly

you will not survive college without a good living situation, so do whatever you need to do to make that happen

life

don't be afraid to do things alone

don't be afraid to fake-date your friends in order to get free stuff (for example, my undergrad had some free “couples” events on Valentine’s Day that a friend & I took advantage of a few times)

keep an eye out for dogs on campus & pet them (unless they're service dogs and hard at work, in which case admire from afar)

get a backpack that's comfortable to wear & can hold what you need

send postcards to your friends at other colleges (getting mail is surprisingly nice)

learn how to do laundry before you go to college

find the gym & use it (if it's free)

find the campus health clinic & use it (especially if it's free or low-cost)

don't leave your things unattended in the library even if it seems safe

learn how to use your local public transportation, if it exists

explore your town/city, bring friends along

bring a bicycle if you can and if your campus isn't entirely hills

if you have a car: wash it from time to time, keep the gas tank at least half full, get a snow shovel and keep it in your trunk (climate depending)

have at least one warm jacket, and one rain jacket (climate depending)

have good shoes, possibly boots – you'll likely be walking a lot

take early morning walks with friends (but be safe about it) and then go to breakfast together

find a playground & use it

go into campus buildings that you otherwise wouldn’t and explore – find new study spaces, cool art, comfortable chairs, who knows what

check out campus museums

join clubs you will actually enjoy, or that have people you want to spend time with

you can quit clubs at any time

you can change your mind any time – show up to an event, don't like it, leave, it's fine

you can also make up things if you need an excuse to leave -- no one will know, you are the master of your own schedule in college

there's something weirdly wonderful about showering at 5pm with the windows open, just saying

if you're queer and want to come out, come out; if not, no pressure

if you do, be careful about who you come out to, and what gets spread on social media -- look out for yourself

also your campus almost certainly has an lgbtq resource center so maybe use it (mine was a subset of the women's center)

if you came out using a term that then stops working for you, you're allowed to change your terms

don't drink too much, look out for your friends, tip $1 per drink, figure out which bar is least sketchy (also most sketchy – and then avoid that one)

the least sketchy bar is possibly going to be the place your profs hang out -- do the casual nod/wave to say hi if you see them, don’t just ignore them, but then get back to your friends

be super careful of what/how much you drink at house parties since you probably don’t know what you’re actually drinking

don't give in to pressure to be sexually active if it's not your thing

if it is your thing, still don't give into pressure, and also use protection every single time

enthusiastic consent is a thing, check in with your partner, make sure you're both good

get to know people in years both above and below yours

save people's numbers, names, birthdays in your phone

take photos with your friends & save them too

listen to your college’s radio station (maybe even DJ for them)

call your parents or family of choice from time to time, or at least text them

watch whatever will fit your mood and don't worry about what anyone thinks: childhood movies, HGTV, YouTube, whatever

in general don't worry so much about what people think, everyone is mostly a mess anyway

so try to be patient with people, and with yourself

survival kit: full water bottle (maybe one with a filter if your tap water is bad), gum or mints, lip balm, a pen, ibuprofen/advil, some cash

do what you want to do, within reason – you're an adult now and can make your own choices, so make good choices and be the person you want to be

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