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seeingivy · 7 months

Text

my love, mine all mine

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content: HEAVVVYYYYY ANGST. does contain one part where a man is being icky/hitting on a girl in a gross way. viewer discretion advised. protect your peace.

an: ok yall. chapter is named after a mitski song we know it's not good. don't hang me at the stake now.

songs mentioned: my love, mine all mine by mitski

previous part linked here

“This is disgusting.” you mutter, as Armin leans over and takes a picture from what might literally be the worst angle ever.

Connie Springer, human menace, has been sleeping on your shoulder for a majority of the flight to Seattle. And drooling on your hair in the process. You make a mental note to kick his ass when he wakes up for being responsible for the globbed up hair you'll have when you see Eren again.

“He’s been sleeping for almost the entire flight. And he slept all day before the engagement too.” Armin murmurs, flicking the picture in between his fingers as he waits for it to develop.

“Typical.” you respond, readjusting so his head falls on your shoulder more comfortably.

You lean your head against his as he continues to snore against your shoulder, the desperation, the anticipation of what you’re going to do sitting heavy in your head. You’ve run through it a hundred times, the words stringing together in your head.

You’re staying with Eren for the weekend. His birthday falls at the end, but he’s too busy to see you guys, so you’ll take him out the day after.

After making ten very aggressive phone calls to the Seattle Aquarium and throwing a nice amount of money their way, they agreed to close off the aquarium for the weekend, so that you and Eren could have it all to yourself.

So that you could drag him there after he was finished on set and lie down flat on the cold floors to just watch the fish swim above you. So no one else is there when you tell Eren that you still love him, so you’re both surrounded in your own little fishbowl. So that he understands you never did stop loving him. That you won’t ever.

You pause. The guilt sits deep in your stomach, eats at the smallest parts of your conscience and corrupts it. The desperation, the anticipation - it sits heavy in your mind. But the doubt, the guilt, and the anxiety does too.

You either get to have Eren forever or you lose him for good. Because Eren is dating another girl and it comes down to something really simple.

If he likes her more or you.

“You okay?”

You look over at Armin and his perceptive blue eyes are peering into yours, his forehead scrunched up near his hairline.

“I-I have a dilemma, Armin.”

“Do tell.” he responds, propping his elbow against the armrest and leaning his cheek on his hand.

“I….I want to do something. But it could hurt someone.”

He frowns, squinting his eyes at you in confusion.

“I feel a certain type of way. And I want to tell someone. But being honest means I could hurt someone else. Sh-should I still do it?” you ask, cracking your knuckles between your fingers.

“Will it hurt you if you won’t say it?” Armin asks.

Yes.

It’ll hurt you if Eren goes on thinking that you don’t love him the way you do. That walking away from him wasn’t the biggest mistake of your life. That him pulling away kills you, because all you want to do is keep him close.

You can’t keep it all in, regardless of what the outcome will be. And for all it’s worth, you have the feeling that when you’ll see him, it’ll get the better of you, that it’ll be a matter of when you tell him, not if.

“Yes. I-I don’t think I can keep it in Armin. I’ve been sitting on it for a while.”

He brings his hand down on yours and squeezes. And then his blue eyes are shimmering, in the pale fluorescents of the plane lights, and you can’t help but smile back. It’s surging through you - the want, the need, the love you hold for him.

And there’s only three more hours till you’re there.

“I can’t believe you’re finally telling Eren you still love him.” he asks, so nonchalantly as he slides the picture of you and Connie, fully developed, into his wallet as he turns back to you.

“Am-am I that obvious?”

“I mean. You feel a type of certain way? We’re going to see Eren? It wasn’t that hard to piece together.”

“No. You’re just perceptive.”

Armin brings his hand down on yours again, squeezing hard, as he smiles at you - so bright and cheery that it makes you excited.

“God, ‘Min. Why are you so excited? You’re kind of supporting me being a homewrecker right now.”

“I-I don’t know. Hyla, I’m sure she’s great and all, but I just don’t think she fares up well to what Eren needs. Not like you do.”

You can feel your cheeks burning at his admission, the compliment and the implication solidifying in your mind. That Armin, Eren’s best friend, thinks it should be you. That you’re good for him. He’s quiet for a few minutes, sliding through the pictures of Jean and Mikasa - the one’s she posted of Jean and her hugging on the ground, minutes after he proposed. Equipped with a caption, that brings you to tears.

the one place i’ll always find myself returning. jeanboy, it’s you and me always.

“What do you think love is, Y/N?”

“That’s such a loaded question to ask me on a dingy ass flight to Seattle, Armin.” you deadpan.

“No, no. Just think. What is it?”

You rack your brain, long and hard. And they all come to mind - your parents, Falco and Colt, Eren, Jean and Mikasa, Levi and Hange.

Levi and Hange. The love letters Levi wrote to Hange, that he gave you when you wrote invisible string for the vow renewal. Maybe the first time you figured out what love might mean. That it was sharing every little part of yourself and every feeling you’ve had - ecstatic, overwhelmed, happy, sad, bored, and soft.

“Knowing each other. Love is knowing each other, Armin. And-he’s pulling away. I-I don’t want him to leave because there’s still so much more of him I-I don’t know yet. I could have a lifetime and it still wouldn’t be enough.” you murmur.

He smiles, leaning his head against yours, as he talks again, his soft voice murmuring into your hair.

“Eren’s known one thing since he met you. And it’s that he wants you around, wants to know more of you, that you’re the best person he’s met. He picked you to be his co-star, called you almost everyday he wasn’t with you, ran into my room and talked to me what it was like to kiss you after you guys wrote New Year’s day, you’re just it for-”

“Wait, what? He did what?”

“Huh? What part?”

“The New Year’s Day thing. You-you knew that we kissed?”

“Yeah. He told me and Marco, like fully woke us up. Said that you guys were practicing the kiss after you wrote the song and that we both needed to kiss someone immediately so we could understand how he felt.”

You snort.

“I don’t remember it being that way. I like totally froze up when he kissed me the first time. We-we had to do it a few times to get it right.”

“Well, it’s always been you for Eren. I bet you could aim wrong and he’d still come and talk about how kissing you is divine.”

“Divine?”

He freezes up, eyes wide, as he realizes his choice of words.

“Armin. Did Eren say kissing me was divine?”

“No. No- we don’t talk about that stuff. It’s- long story, you-you don’t want to know.”

“No. No, now you have to tell me. We’ve known each other forever, it’s-it’s not weird. Quit being all shy.”

“Y/N.”

“Armin! Please. We-I want to know. Please, I won’t tell him and I won’t think much of it.”

“Okay, well. When I started dating Annie, you and Eren had already been together for like a year. And I wanted…to know how to…”

“To?”

“Have sex.” he murmurs.

You bite down on your lip to avoid laughing and he turns his face, cheeks glowing pink, as he whispers profanities at you.

“You’re so rude. I’m not talking about this.”

“No, no! Armin, you’re just so cute.”

“Quit calling me cute.”

“Sorry! It’s just. You and Eren are so sweet, you’re like brothers. Giggling like little high schoolers about sex.”

“We were highschoolers. And you’re acting like you and Mikasa are any different.”

“Yeah! But you guys know we do that, I just never thought you and Eren talked about this stuff. So what did he say?”

“No. This is breaking bro code. I’m not telling you.”

“Armin! Please! You brought it up now it’s going to bother me forever. And-and you and me. We’re cool like that. We can talk about sex because we’re two grown adults.”

“Y/N.” he responds, in a warning tone.

“Pretty please! I’ve always wondered what Eren thinks about me because he-he’s so reserved and-and it’ll help me. When I tell him, to-to know how he felt about me. Help me not back out.”

“You’re annoying. You-you can’t just use that against me to get me to tell you.”

“Fine. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

He groans, leaning his head against the chair, and clenches his jaw. And then Armin’s turning his head, voice all quiet as he whispers.

“You tell another soul and I will kill you.”

“Okay, okay. I promise ‘Min.”

“I-I asked him about it. Because Annie and I were going to….I wanted to make it special. And-and I’m not the type to really, really take initiative when Annie does it first but I-I wanted to.”

“Uh huh.”

“And then I asked him, like. What it’s supposed to feel like. Having sex for the first time. Because, I mean. Isn’t it awkward? And I had heard it hurts for the girl so-”

“I’m trying not to like bite down on my own hand right now. You’re like a little angel.” you coo.

“Shut up. Anyways, Eren said that the first time he-he felt bad. Because it did hurt you and that he just held you after till you felt better. But the second time, he said it was like nothing he ever felt before. That he understood why people do a bunch of stupid shit when they’re in love because it feels divine.”

You swallow hard.

“Armin. He-”

“You’re it for him. I hope I got that through your head. Now just go tell him. And quit making me tell you secrets, you’re breaking every sacred code I have as a man right now.”

“Okay, okay. Sorry, I didn’t mean to mess with your divine brotherhood.”

He flicks the top of your head as you link your arm with his and squeeze hard. And flutter your eyes shut, with him on your mind.

“Connie.”

You reach forward and shake his shoulder, as aggressively as you can, in the back of the car.

“Connie.”

He’s slumped over against the window, fast asleep, despite the fact that he slept nearly the entire way here.

“CONNIE.”

“Huh?”

His eyes flutter open, deeply filled with sleep as he registers where he is, holding his hand out to grab you.

“Con. We’re here. And why the fuck are you so tired?”

“Shhh.” he responds, pressing his finger to your lips as he tumbles out of the car, leaning the majority of his body weight on you as you both walk towards the house.

Not Eren’s house, the one you stayed at when Ricky locked you out, but the townhouse on set since Connie needed to be back as soon as possible. You switch positions with Armin, him taking the responsibility of lugging Connie, as you both walk up to the door.

You nervously reach up to brush the tangles out of your hair and rub the tiredness out of your eyes as you knock on the door, putting on your best smile.

Eren.

Or not. The door swings open and a short girl answers, a bored look on her face and a martini glass secured in her hand. Despite the cold weather, she’s dressed up in a mini skirt and her hair is all clipped up in rollers - clearly from a makeup team by the way they’re placed.

“Can I help you?”

“Um. I’m Y/N.”

“Okay?”

“I mean. We’re here to bring Connie back. He-he’s supposed to start filming again today. And we’re visiting for Eren’s birthday.”

“Oh. Okay fine.”

She swings the door open as you and Armin hold Connie upright, loose greetings falling out of his mouth as he waves at the twenty people that are in the room, their names falling out of his mouth. They’re all lounging around on the sofas and in the kitchen, heads pushed together in their own conversations or on their phones.

“Connie. We-where are you supposed to go?”

“Uh. Right. We-we can just go to my room.”

He drags you and Armin up the stairs, even more people crowding the area, as you shuffle past and make your way up. Connie shoves you both into his room, the two of you falling on his sofa, as you watch him shut himself in the bathroom immediately.

“Should we try to find Eren maybe? I think Connie’s like sick or something.” you whisper.

“Yeah. But it might take a while, there’s like sixty people in here.”

“I don’t understand how anyone lives here. Lana and Eren staying in a house off set makes way more sense now.” you respond, as Armin pulls you up and you drag yourself through the halls.

You both amble down, observing the mess all around, as you read the names on the doors. You’re both holding hands, hard, so you don’t lose each other in the bustle of people and the sweat hanging in the air. And nearly six paces down, you find the door with Eren’s name scribbled across the door. Armin lightly knocks as you both peek your heads in, to find Hyla - fast asleep in his bed.

You swallow hard, pushing hard on Armin’s hand, as you both quietly shut the door behind you and walk back down the hallway.

She’s sleeping in his bed.

“Let’s just see if anyone knows where he is, yeah?”

You nod and both push down the hallway again to the crowded room you entered in, nervously watching the swarm of people in front of you and nitpicking on which one to ask. Despite the chill in the Seattle air outside, the inside here is sweltering - the mix of people certainly being a fire hazard and responsible for the itching warmth in the room.

One of the girls, lazily leaning over the counter, beckons for the two of you to join her, which you awkwardly accept.

“Who are you guys?”

“I’m Armin. And this is Y/N. We’re friends of Eren’s, we were looking for him. Is he around?”

“Ah. Eren and Lana are probably busy with the Bear.” she says, turning her shoulder and snickering with the people around them.

The bear?

“Well. We’re going to his birthday dinner tonight. You guys can see him then, the bus leaves at like six.” she mutters, shuffling off to the other side of the house and walking away.

“Okay. Thanks.” you respond, awkwardly rubbing your hands against your arms and turning to Armin.

Right on cue, loud music starts blaring overhead and you and Armin instinctively reach to cover your ears, Armin signaling that the two of you should just go outside. You both leave the sticky, hot room and walk out, kicking the rocks as the music blares on inside.

“God. Levi would have an aneurysm if we ever did something like that to the townhouse.” you mutter.

“I think I had an aneurysm standing in there.”

“What should we do?”

“It’s only four thirty. Let’s just…walk and get coffee. It’ll be six by the time that we’re back and we can meet him at dinner.”

“Okay. Sure.”

Two hours later and you’re seated at the most awkward table, in the history of awkward tables. Maybe even more awkward than the thought of the Thirteenth Disciple of Jesus, Ryomen Sukuna, being at the Last Supper.

You and Armin are across from the two empty seats - because Lana and Eren are late. Armin’s stuck next to a weirdly rowdy crowd of people, with Connie at the center, who suddenly has a random burst of energy and has been screaming for a better part of the last hour. And on your left, you’re stuck next to Hyla and Myka, who are way too inquisitive for your liking.

“So like. Can I ask you a question?” Myka asks, leaning into your space.

You shake the glass of water in your hands, perspiration leaking down your elbow, as you give her a nod. You nervously twiddle with the straw in your mouth, biting it into oblivion as she starts talking.

“So. I listened to dorothea. And then I listened to lacy. And I was just wondering what happened between you and Historia? Because your song was really sweet but she makes you look like a bitch.”

You swallow hard.

“Ah. I don’t know, we used to be really close when we were younger and filming Attack on Titan together and stuff. I think we just grew apart. And-you know. Songs are more about their meanings, I-I don’t think lacy is about me and dorothea isn’t necessarily about her.”

“Okay but like. What actually happened? Don’t like beat around the bush.” Hyla states, her tone biting as she swirls her own straw through her glass.

It’s the first time you’ve ever heard her talk, with your own ears. Seen her with your own eyes and interacted with her in the flesh.

She’s scary. Freakishly high cheekbones, slicked back hair, and siren like eyes that pull back to her hairline. A pointed nose, a sharp jaw - and unlike Lana, there are no soft features, no soft expressions to offset the harshness on her face.

“She obviously doesn’t like you. And honestly, it’s fucked that she projects onto you so hard. If she wants to be successful, she should just work harder.” Myka states.

“Historia’s busy, Myka. Got other things on her mind.” she states, making a snipping motion with her fingers.

“Sorry, what?” you ask.

“Oh, you know. Scissoring. Because she’s gay.” Hyla states, the ice in her glass clinking against the straw.

You freeze. And swallow hard to think hard on what to say next.

A topic that you don’t personally broach, and never have, but one people can’t seem to stop talking about.

Maybe you’ve had your suspicions. And you push them down and let Historia be. The longing glances at Ymir when she was putting on her harnesses, the way they were attached at the hip - entirely different than the way you and Mikasa were and more like how you and Eren were.

People suspected. It was a hot topic of conversation, especially after Lacy dropped and the people thought the lyrics were…homoerotic. People were stuck trying to figure out if Historia wanted to be you or date you.

You don’t comment on that. She’s entitled to whatever she is and trying to figure it out for her does her no service.

“So what are you going to order?” Myka asks, leaning over to look at the menu.

“Probably the spicy brisket ramen?”

“Ugh. Ramen has so much sodium. That’s how you get fat arms.” she mutters, flipping her eyes through her own menu.

You swallow hard as you shove your face into your own menu this time, probably drawing blood on Armin’s ankle by the way you’re jamming your leg on his foot. He lifts his own menu as well, the two of you whispering behind them.

“This is what my worst nightmares look like.” you whisper.

“If he doesn’t show up in five minutes, we’re leaving.” Armin responds, giving you a nod.

You both drop your menus to find Hyla staring at you two weird, which you two return with less than peachy smiles and lift your glasses to drink together. And right on cue, Eren and Lana are speed walking to the table from the entrance of the restaurant, absorbed in their own conversation.

Lana takes the seat across from Armin and Eren takes the one across from yours - Lana’s eyes bulging out of her head when she sees the two of you while Eren’s too absorbed in the conversation he’s having with Hyla.

“Ok, I’m here. Quit whining.” he says, leaning his hand against the back of Hyla’s chair.

“Only you would be late to your birthday dinner, Eren.” she responds, giving him a smile as she leans forward to kiss his cheek.

“My birthday is tomorrow, so technically, I’m early.” he responds.

Lana elbows Eren in the side, which he rolls his eyes at before turning his head back to Hyla, who's pointing at the menu.

“Eren.” Lana repeats.

“Huh? What?”

He lifts Lana’s drink on instinct and takes a sip, putting it down as he glares at her.

“It’s non-alcoholic. Calm down, Lana.”

“No. Eren.” she responds, grating her teeth as she gestures her eyes over to you.

And then Eren looks over, his eyes bulging out of his head this time when he sees you. Except his shock goes farther than Lana’s because when he moves his hand off Hyla’s shoulder, he accidentally knocks his glass across the table, the cold liquid drenching the front of your shirt and your skirt.

“Jesus, Eren. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Myka asks, snickering as she looks down at you.

Armin’s quick to respond, yanking his jacket off and placing it on your lap, drying the wetness on your legs as Eren stares at the two of you and then immediately turns to look at Lana.

“Y/N. Armin. What are you guys doing here?” he asks, jaw clenched against his skull.

“They’re surprising you for your birthday. Such sweet childhood friends you have.” Hyla says, giving the two of you a sickly sweet smile.

“Um. I-I’m going to go to the bathroom, my clothes are really wet.” you mutter, beckoning Armin to stay as you quickly speed walk to the bathroom with his jacket wrapped around you.

The second you make it into the bathroom, you shut the closest stall shut and lock the door, hanging Armin’s mostly dry jacket on the ring as you survey the damage. Eren’s drink - bright blue in color - has left a big mark on the front of your white shirt, but is virtually invisible on the black pleats of your skirt.

You instinctively grab for the tissues and wipe down the front of your shirt, which only makes the stain worse. And you don’t know why - why this entire thing is so humiliating, but you can feel tears burning in your eyes and your throat itching with insurmountable heat - as the stain doesn’t lessen, the blue splotch staying.

The door swings open and you hear an immediate knock on your door, shiny black shoes visible from underneath the stall.

“Hey Tinky-Winky. You okay?” Lana whispers, her voice soft as she leans her head against the door.

“Y-yeah. Just, um. Trying to get the stain out, that’s all. I’ll just wear Armin’s jacket.”

“Okay. I-I’m waiting for you out here when you’re done, okay?”

You lift your head to the ceiling, hoping that it’ll push the flaming tears back into your eye sockets as you try to quiet your sniffles and shove Armin’s black denim jacket over your clothes. You open the door to find Lana, sweet Lana, leaning against the door with a smile on her face.

She looks different. Her cheeks are fuller and rosy pink, her short hair growing out to her shoulders. And you don’t miss the soft bags around her eyes, the tiredness sitting in her frame. She opens up her arms, which you quickly sink into, her hands in your hair.

“I missed you.”

“Yeah. I missed you too, La-La.”

She pulls back, her arms resting against your elbows as she talks.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Surprising Eren for his birthday. We-we missed him.”

She brings her hand to your cheek, cupping your face.

“He misses you too. Lots.” she says, giving you a smile.

You give her a smile back as you wrap your arms around her neck, breathing in her sweet flowery smell, as the door swings open again, only for Eren to be leaning against the door frame. You pull back and look at him - brown hair, green eyes, and no smile - staring back at you.

“Y/N. You-you’re okay?” he asks, shutting the door behind him.

“Yeah. Hi Eren. H-happy birthday.”

He breaks a smile - the first one you’ve seen today - and opens up his arms, wrapping them around your frame as he leans down, lips close to your ear. His right hand is firm on your back and the second one is cradling the back of your head, firm around your locks of hair.

“It’s tomorrow.”

“I know that, Eren.”

“Okay, sweetheart. No need to show off.”

At the sound of your nickname, you’re only wrapping your arms around his neck harder, standing on the tips of your toes, in any attempt to be closer to him. His smooth, laundry smell, his skin soft to the touch, and his hair perfectly tousled against your hands.

“Y/N?”

“Hm, Eren?”

“As much as I like holding you, I am technically trespassing in a women’s restroom right now. I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

You pull back, nervously reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ears as you nod, giving the two of them a look.

“Okay so. I’ll go first. Lana, come out like five minutes after. Eren, give it like seven. Not ten, because the timing would be suspiciously perfect.”

Eren squints his hand at you, his forearms clutched across his chest, as he glares.

“Or we could all go back together.”

“No. No, no. That’s weird. Just wait. I-I’ll see you two out there okay.” you respond, giving the two of them a smile and a thumbs up as you push out of the door.

You nervously duck back to the table, buttoning Armin’s jacket up as you slide in next to him, squeezing his hand under the table when he gives you a questioning look. You shake your head as he gives you a nod, the two of you clear and focusing back on the dinner at hand.

“Y/N. Are you hooking up with Sukuna? He’s hot.” Myka asks, leaning into your space.

You spit your water back into your glass as you start choking on the parts that went down, Armin’s hand comforting on your back.

“Um. No, never in a million years. We’re just friends.” you respond, giving them a smile.

“The Promiscuous video was really hot. You’ve never looked better.”

You turn your head to find the guy seated between Connie and Armin leaning over, holding his hand out to you as he talks. He has short black hair and cold, steely eyes.

“Vinh.”

You place your hand in his, thrown off by the clamminess, as he smiles continuing.

“I mean. Some part of it has to be real right? That whole bit where Sukuna’s like on the floor crawling after you walk away, when he pretends to pass out when you blow him a kiss, and when you throw the water on him just to take his shirt off after...you can only fake chemistry like that to some extent.”

“Ah. I’m an actress. That’s my entire job. And the song is called Promiscuous. We-we obviously leaned into a little bit. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“That’s music to my ears then.” he says, smiling.

You know that smile. It reminds you of Ricky.

“Vinh, stop it. And Connie, you’ve had enough to fucking drink.” Eren says, glaring bullets at the two of them.

“Eren. Shut the fuck up.” Connie responds, clearly irritated with Eren. The two of them hold their eye contact, for too long, as you look at Armin.

“Connie. I will beat it out of you again if I have to.” Eren responds, which makes Connie drop his gaze. The group laughs as Eren scoffs, his knuckles white against his glass.

You’re thrown off by the sudden hostility, Eren’s demeanor entirely different from what he was in the bathroom. Granted, he was still a bit off-putting in there, but the fact that he’s…purposely picking a fight with Connie is entirely unlike him at all.

Connie gets so irritated that he storms off, leaving the table all together, as everyone murmurs what a buzzkill he is.

Connie’s always been the life of the party. Even insinuating he’s a buzzkill is downright ironic.

“So. How is filming for the movie going? Which one is this again?”

“Don’t Worry Darling.” Hyla responds, swirling her fork around her plate.

“I’m really excited to see it, you guys. I’m sure it’ll be great.”

Hyla twists her straw in between her fingers as she looks in between Lana and then you.

“Lana Banana.”

Lana curls up her nose at the term, tilting her head over to look at her.

“You’ve just been so busy lately. You’re not really looking fit for your part anymore. I think Y/N should take it. Don’t you think, Eren?”

Eren swallows hard as he looks at you, eyes flitting between you and Lana, as he stays silent. And the beat goes on for too long and no one talks, so you bite the bullet and do it for them.

“I uh. Don’t have time for that actually. Danny and Sareen lined up a four day only show in New York City for me the week of the Institute Awards. I’m supposed to close for that award show, so I-I’ll have a lot of rehearsals leading up to it.” you respond, dissolving the loaded question so Eren didn’t have to.

“Well our next movie. You should definitely join, everyone here loves you. Vinh especially.” she says, smiling.

“Oh! I-I’ll see about that.”

“Don’t you think Y/N and Vinh would be cute together, Eren? She’s clearly into that whole bad boy thing since she liked Sukuna.”

“Oh, I don’t-”

And then Eren’s leaning into her space, lips a few feet away from hers, as he smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. And then he presses a kiss to the top of her forehead, her cheeks turning bright pink.

“Do you want to get out of here? Just you and me?”

She gives him a giddy smile as she nods, putting her hand in his, as he drags her out, arm secured around her waist. He gives Lana a look over his shoulder as he leaves, which Lana ignores as she gives you and Armin bright smiles.

You settle into the bed, Lana at your side, as you reach for your phone.

you: everything good?

armin: yeah. connie isn’t even here he like never came back. also his room smells like pop rocks LOL

you: so THIS is why he’s sleeping all the time.

armin: everything good with you?

you: yes. i’m sleeping with lana.

armin: okay. sweet dreams. don’t think about stuff too hard.

you: speaking of stuff, i don’t think i’m going to do it anymore, armin.

you: i thought that eren and hyla would be more like…me and ricky. but he actually likes her i think.

armin: yeah. i think so too, i’m sorry y/n.

you: our time just passed i guess. better to keep him around as my friend than not at all, right?

armin: it’ll pass, y/n. it-it goes away. talk to ymir. about hisu. she can help you better.

You turn on your sheets to find Lana next to you, already sprawled over the majority of the bed, and dead asleep. Her expression looks so tired, her deep breaths indicating that she’s already fully out, despite it only being five minutes since you’ve been here.

And she looks soft. Her jaw isn’t as sharp anymore, a little bit of fullness in her cheeks, but the same pointy nose.

It’s pretty. She’s pretty.

You bury your head into your own pillow as you flutter your eyes shut, trying to will away the image at dinner. Except you can feel it in your space, the thought of them together, like you’re being poked.

“Y/N.”

Poke.

“Y/N. Wake up, sleepyhead.”

You flutter your eyes open to find Eren, big green eyes staring at you, with his jacket pulled over his head as the source of the aforementioned poking. On instinct, you reach forward and make contact with his nose, which has him falling against the wall and groaning. The sound is so loud that you both look over at Lana, who is unbothered by the sound and still dead asleep.

You jump up and cup Eren’s hands in your face, fingers soft and feeling for his nose in the dark.

“Eren. What-what the fuck was that?”

“You’re asking me that? You’re the one who just punched me in the nose!” he whispers.

“Are you stupid? I’ve had like three different run-ins with people stalking my house. I-I learned self defense.” you whisper back.

His face softens and he brings his hands up to where yours are - still resting on his face - as he removes them and drags you towards the door. There’s a jacket on the desk, which he’s holding open for you and gesturing for you to put on.

“What are we doing?”

“I-Armin told me you want to take me to the aquarium the day after my birthday. But. I-I can’t. I’m busy but I still want to spend time with you so, let’s go.”

“Where? It-It’s like almost eleven. Aren’t you filming tomorrow?”

“Please? It-it’s my birthday? One hour to my birthday?”

You roll your eyes and nod which has Eren pulling the hood over your hair and carefully zipping the jacket up as he gives you a smile. The two of you tiptoeing through the townhouse as you sneak out. His hand is locked in yours, pulling you hard, as he pockets the keys to one of the cars and drives you out.

He’s driving along the roads, nearly empty, as the moon shines light on the puddles in the road. The car comes to an abrupt stop at a small house and when you get out, the breeze and the smell of salty air envelopes your nose as you march up together.

“You have a beach house?”

“Not mine. It’s a friend’s.”

You nod as the rocks crunch underneath your feet and Eren pockets his keys, shoving the brass into the door and dragging you in. The lights are open and there’s a decent amount of giggling getting louder as he pushes you through the house, a confused look on his face.

“Why are you guys still awake?”

You turn your head to find two people - a guy who can’t be much older than you holding a little boy - frosting cookies over a granite countertop.

“Eren!” the kid says, shaking his arms and leg in his hold until he’s dropped.

The boy runs over to Eren, wrapping his arms around his legs as he excitedly laughs, the sound so loud it pierces your ears. In a good way.

“Teddy. Why aren’t you sleeping, little man?” Eren asks, crouching down to pinch at his cheeks.

The other man, from before, takes your side as he responds to him, giving Eren a knowing look.

“Nightmare, Eren. I’m Landon, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Y/N.”

“Ah. The infamous Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you.” he responds, smiling as he holds his hand out for you.

“Are you here to play with me, Eren?” Teddy asks, jumping up and down against Eren’s legs.

“Not exactly. But I do have a friend I want you to meet.”

Eren looks up, a smile on his face, as he gestures for you to crouch down next to him, Teddy standing in front of the two of you.

“Teddy. This is my pretty friend, Y/N. Can you say hi?” he says, emphasizing each word slowly.

Teddy gets embarrassed when you smile at him and immediately buries his face into Eren’s shirt, the back of his neck entirely red as he nervously shakes his head against Eren.

“Teddy. Just say hi, she’s really nice.” his voice soft, coaxing Teddy to say hi again.

You smile as he turns his head, brown eyes peering into yours, as he awkwardly shuffles in Eren’s arms, his hands knotted together behind his back.

“Hi! I’m Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you.” you say, flickering your eyes quickly up to Eren who's beaming at you as he waits for Teddy’s response.

“I’m Theodore.” he responds.

“Theodore? Since when do you go by Theodore, little man? Trying to impress someone?” Eren asks, reaching forward to pinch his pink cheeks and lift him in the air, which has him giggling like no other.

You laugh as the two of them keep laughing together, leaning against the countertop where Landon’s leaning, the half frosted cookies in his hands.

“So how do you know Eren?” you ask.

“We have a mutual friend. And he keeps coming around, to play with the kid. Uninvited, mind you.”

“We’re sorry to intrude. Though, he dragged me here and I had no idea. So it’s his fault.”

“Sounds like him.” he says, dusting off his hands as he walks over to Eren, scooping Teddy out of his arms.

“Okay, Teddy. Say bye to Eren and Y/N now. It’s bedtime.”

You walk up to Eren, who’s hunching down so your faces are close to each other as you both wave bye, the silence filling up the room as you step back and away from Eren. He gives you a soft smile as he places his hands flat on your back and pushes you through the open door, the sand and ocean glimmering under the light of the full moon.

Eren swipes a guitar case and a blanket off the patio as you both discard your shoes and pad into the sand, a few feet away from where the waves are crashing. Eren hands you the case as he places the blanket flat onto the sand and lies down on it, tapping the spot next to him and beckoning you to join him.

You cross your legs and sit instead of lying down, his head a few feet away from your knees. His green eyes focused on the moon, shining above, bathing you in the pale light. You open up the case, a beautiful acoustic guitar lying in the case and start strumming aimlessly against the strings, not missing the way Eren smiles at the tune and closes his eyes.

“Can you sing me something?” he asks.

“What do you want to hear, almost birthday boy?”

“Invisible string.” he responds.

You smile as you switch the chords, fingers strumming against the strings as you quietly sing, watching Eren’s closed eyes and his soft smile. His dimples on display, the freckles underneath his eyes, his soft, soft hair.

It’s only then that it stings. That you hold all this love, all this big, real love for Eren. That at one point, you felt it together at the same time but that he’s moved long past that.

As you finish, Eren’s shooting up, swinging the strap of the guitar off of your neck and slipping it around his own. He’s tapping the ground in front of him, beckoning for you to lie down in front of him now, his fingers soft on the guitar.

“What song is it?” you ask, head turned to the side away from him and focused on the crashing of the waves, how they roll perfectly, rise and fall to crash against the sand.

“New one.”

“Hm. What’s it about?”

“Marco. He-he gave me this Maya Angelou poetry book on my birthday a few years ago, the birthday where you gifted me the vinyl. There was a quote in it that just made me think.”

“What was the quote?”

“Just like the moons and the suns, with the certainty of the tides, just like hope springing high, still I’ll rise.”

The wave rises. And it crashes. Again and again.

“Sing, Eren. I want to hear it.”

Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you? 'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love, my, my, mine Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine, all mine

You shuffle away from the tides to look at him, his eyes focused on the strings and his fingers plucking so softly. Eyes focused on his lips. The lips, that could end you here and now.

“The moon is blushing up there, Eren. You’re writing love songs about it.”

“The moon is my muse. I can only write songs about her.” he whispers, his hands making their way to your hair, to tuck your flyaways behind your ear.

You feel your cheeks burning, the image of Eren - seventeen and whispering in your ear about how you’re his moon, how you have a pull on him - on the forefront of your brain.

“Y/N. You-you don’t remember what it means?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“This.” he responds, his fingers switching to the other side and tucking your stray hairs behind your ears.

You feel your ears burning, when you remember. The secret signals that you and Eren came up with. And the tucking the hair behind the ears, it’s- it means he wants to kiss you. You shoot up and Eren swings the guitar off, knees hiked to his chest as his green eyes look at you, expectantly.

“You-you can’t, Eren.” you whisper, the thought of dinner still in your mind.

“Why not? Do you not want to?” he asks, whispering back.

“That’s not fair to her. You can’t.”

“You-you heard me right? Nothing in the world belongs to me, except my love. And-and you're the only thing that's really mine. You-you still do, right? Belong to me?” he asks, his voice wavering.

“Eren.”

“Please. Please, I don’t want to beg. Don't make me. Do you still belong to me?”

He brings his hand up to your face, warm against your cheek, which is ice cold from the biting wind, and you lean into it. The warmth, in his hand, his eyes, his honey sweet voice.

“Yes. Yes, I do.” you whisper.

“Y/N. You- don’t get confused. You know what this means right? Us?”

You give him your best smile and nod, your fingers tingling. It means he still loves you too.

He leans forward, eyes closed as he kisses you, warm and soft. The sensation tingles all the way down to your stomach, makes your cheeks burn, and your brain prickle. And you relax, the familiarity of this, so delicate, so unchanged from the time he kissed you last that you can’t help but smile into his lips.

You lean against his shoulder and look up, at the moon above you two, his arms wrapped around you.

“Moon looks pretty tonight, doesn’t it?” you ask.

“Always has.” he responds, his lips soft in your hair as the warm tears fill your eyes.

“Happy birthday, Eren.” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Thank you, my moon.” he responds.

And you stay there, to watch the sun rise. On the two of you, together, for the last time.

Eren tucks you back into bed with Lana as the sun peaks up, though it’s a battle in itself. Because Lana’s all starfish on the bed, her limbs tangled over every open space on the bed. But Eren’s rude and he’s just flopping her around, until he makes space, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaving.

And hours later, the sun is sinking down, with Lana nowhere to be found and Armin reading at the couch to the side.

“Hey.”

“Jesus. It’s almost sunset, you’ve been sleeping all day. Whatever Connie has is rubbing off on you.” he mutters, reaching over to hand you a water bottle.

“Sorry. I slept late because-”

Because of Eren.

You jump up and take the seat next to Armin, excitedly telling him everything that happened last night. And he’s smiling so bright, blue eyes glimmering that you’re both excitedly hugging each other and squeezing hard.

“Well. He’s been out all day, but he should be back tonight. Let’s go to dinner before we leave, yeah?”

You nod, jumping up to the bathroom to get ready, the smile on your face aching your cheeks as you reach for the toothpaste. You peek your head out the door at Armin.

“‘Min.”

“Hm?”

“Do you have toothpaste?

“There’s some in Connie’s room. Just go grab it.”

You take your toothbrush and bustle through the hallway, past the crowds of people walking through. You’re lucky you never have to mourn the frat house experience. You’re fairly certain you’re living it right now.

You swing into his room, the smell of candy overwhelming, as you push forward and open the door. Only to find Connie, leaned over the counter, fixing up three lines of white powder with a credit card.

“Connie. What are you doing?” you ask, your throat burning in your neck.

He turns his head and his eyes nearly boggle out of his head as he quickly swipes the powder into the sink and the excess on his hands against his pants. He’s smiling, too big, too synthetic as he grabs your hands.

“Y/N! Nothing! You- it was a joke. It’s not what it looks like, I swear.”

You swallow hard as he presses you into a hug and the dots connect, your eyes burning.

Connie’s doing drugs. It’s-it’s why he sleeps all the time and then suddenly has intense energy out of nowhere, why his nose is red, why Eren told him to stop drinking.

Eren’s words from dinner ring in your head, of how he said he beat it out of Connie, and sit in a bad way.

Eren beat Connie up for doing this?

You pull back and press your hands to Connie’s face, to take him in. His skin is burning hot to the touch and there are beads of sweat matting his forehead, his entire demeanor so anxious, so jittery and nervous that it sets you off. And all you can think of is sweet Connie, so excited and energetic doing this in his free time that it makes you eyes burn.

“Connie. Are-are you okay? Why are you doing this?”

He freezes. And at your words, his entire demeanor changes and suddenly he’s on the floor softly crying, his head in his hands. You join him on the floor and put your hand on his shoulder.

“Connie. What’s wrong?”

“I-I just wanted to be the best, Y/N. I wanted to be the lead for once, I-”

“Connie. You, you’re-”

“Do you know how fucking tired I am of all of this? I-I can’t do this anymore. You- I’m done. I have to quit, I have to-” he says, shaking in your arms as you wrap your arms around him, tears streaming down your eyes.

“He couldn’t even let me have this one thing, Y/N. Eren just had to be the best.” he spits out, his chest heaving up and down as he mutters out more words, a long list of profanities directed towards Eren.

“Connie. You- we can go. Armin and I are leaving in a few hours, you-you should come with us. We-we want to help you.”

“You don’t get it, Y/N. Wherever I go, this thing follows me. That people know my fucking name when I walk down the street, when I go to the beach, when I’m at the doctor. We’re never getting fucking out of this. This is our life now.” he responds, cheeks straight on your face.

You reach for your phone on the counter as it buzzes, Armin’s name flashing across the screen. Connie’s still lying down flat on the floor, his tears falling straight onto the floor.

“Y/N.”

“Armin.”

“Are you crying? I-I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding, let’s just go-”

“It’s Connie. Can you come here? It’s- he’s not okay.”

“Okay, okay. I’m running.”

And a few seconds later, Armin’s pushing into the bathroom and his eyes are boggling at the sight of the two of you and his face falls when you explain. And then your phone starts buzzing on the counter, the notifications constant. You lift it and scroll, eyes flitting through the letters.

mikasa: don’t panic. we’ll figure out a response, okay?

jean: call us as soon as possible okay? ill kill him next time i see him

nobara: i’ll fly out to see you. are you still in new york?

levi: Call me when you get a chance. Hope you’re okay. Hange is going to talk to him.

sukuna: On your side. Whatever you do.

“Y/N. You- there’s something you have to see.” Armin says, dragging you out and handing you his phone. He rushes back into the bathroom to Connie, as you scroll through the tab on his phone.

It’s a video of Eren and Lana, with chunky headsets and microphones in front of their faces. You recognize the backdrop immediately - one of the WBS’s most popular podcasts, called Life in Love.

You press the clip and tilt the phone, eyes focused on Eren and Lana as they start talking.

“The person that you’re most associated with, Eren, is your co-star, Y/N L/N, from Attack on Titan. Can you comment on that, on what it’s like to have your first love be something so public?” the interviewer asks.

“First love is a funny way to describe it. I-I know that a lot of people like to assume things and we’ve never really said it publicly, but we never did actually date. It was a whole thing we did together, while we were filming Attack on Titan. Method acting.”

“Can you elaborate?” the interviewer asks.

“It’s like that thing with Ricky James. I mean, we’re all actors, we’re all part of the entertainment industry. And we do things, pretend a little, to make our art feel more authentic. The reason Y/N and I act so well in Attack on Titan, and win awards from it, is because we do it outside of it too. It’s like we’re acting all the time. You can turn it on and off.”

“So are you just friends, then? I mean, Y/N has an interesting track record with her own friends, like Historia and Jean and Mikasa that many people have pointed out before. Is that something that you can corroborate? That she’s a good friend?”

“She’s a good friend of mine, we-we laugh about it sometimes. And as for the stuff about her other friends, you know. You’re in competition and if you have something you really want, you-you’ll do anything to get it. That’s something I can admire. There’s only one person who ends up on a pedestal and if you have to kick people off to get there, that’s what it is.”

You jump off the bed and rush back into the background, where Armin is crouched next to Connie, his hand on his head.

“Connie.”

“Y/N. Hey, you ok-”

“What were you saying about Eren?”

“Huh?” Connie asks, eyes deeply lidded and his breaths becoming more labored.

You put your hands on his shoulders and shake, as aggressively as you can, as the tears stream out of your eyes.

“What did you mean? What did Eren do?”

“What he always does. Put himself first. Even if I’m the thing at stake.” Connie mutters, his hands shaking in your hold.

Armin gives you a pained look as your tears flow harder, your hands still on Connie’s shaking frame.

“Y/N. Get ready. We-we should leave.” Armin says, hands on his phone as he calls the car.

“Okay. I-I need a few minutes. And we’re taking Connie with us. I-I don’t care if he gets fired or whatever, he-he’s not staying here, Armin.”

Armin presses his hands on your shoulder, squeezing hard.

“I was going to say the same thing. C-calm down, Y/N. Okay? I’ll be back in a few.”

You wait in the kitchen as Armin lugs Connie’s bag down, swirling the glass of water in your hands. Your eyes are focused on everyone in the room, a smaller group, ambling around the room.

“Hey.”

“Oh. Hi Vance.”

“It’s Vinh.” he responds, giving you a smirk.

“Sorry.”

He scoots closer to you, his hand firm on your shoulder, as he leans down, a smile spread on his face.

“So, would you ever think about doing it with me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Faking it. Except, we can do all the real things too.” he says, securing his hand around your face and leaning closer to your lips.

You push his hand off as you put space between you two.

“Why would I ever do that?”

“Don’t act like you’re above it. Eren, Ricky James. I don’t see how I’m any different. Or if you have any dignity to preserve.”

You feel your throat dry, at the impact of Eren’s words solidifying in your mind. That him saying that your relationship wasn’t real only furthers all that hate you received after you told everyone the truth about Ricky.

That you were fake. And it meant now that people were going to start doing it again - start nitpicking every little thing, your relationship with Mikasa and Jean, with Eren and use every mistake you’ve made against you.

And for guys like this, it’ll just make them think this is okay. That you’re easy, that they’re entitled to what you’ve done for others because you’ve done it before.

“It-it’s really different.” you respond, running out of the kitchen.

You quickly duck out of the room as you see Armin dragging Connie down the stairs and make your way over to help him, the itchy, dirty feeling of the interaction you just had being pushed to the back of your mind.

You and Armin lug Connie to the back seat of the car, letting him lie down flat against the seats, as Armin reaches for the last of the stuff to put into the car. Connie’s still twitching in the seat, eyes pressed shut and sweating.

You place your hands on both sides of his cheeks, the tears filling your eyes again.

“Connie. I-I think we should take you to rehab or something, you-you’re not okay.” you whisper.

He’s quiet, still shaking in your frame as he opens his eyes and looks at you. And the tiredness, the red and the pain mixed together has your heart flinching in your chest, cutting deep.

“I hate myself for it. I didn’t want to be like this. That asshole who is high when his best friends are getting engaged.”

“They won’t be mad at you, Connie. We-we understand.”

“But I don’t understand. I wanted to remember it, Jean and Mika, they-they’re special. I-I wanted to remember it.” he says, his voice cracking as the tears start spilling down his face.

“Con.”

“I hate myself for it. I really, really do.” he says, so definitively, so sure of himself that all you can do is squeeze his cheeks in your hands as he falls asleep.

You brush your fingers through his buzzed hair one last time as you step out of the car, only to see Armin and Eren arguing near the bags by the door. You walk up, which stops them all together, as they both focus their eyes on you.

“Eren. Can I talk to you?”

He tilts his head towards Armin, who's still standing there, fists clenched. You give him a nod as he walks away, rolling the rest of Connie’s bags towards the car.

“Did you want something?” he asks, eyes squinting into yours.

“Yeah. I-I want to know what happened. You and I- we.”

“Y/N.”

You reach for his arm, for his fish tattoo right above his elbow and squeeze.

“Eren. It-it’s not true, right? There’s an explanation for this? Because we-we can help you. We’re taking Connie and leaving and you should come.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“Eren. Whatever it is, we can figure it out. Just come with me. Or if you need me to stay, I’ll do that too. We can figure out how to tell the truth about it all. I won’t leave.”

He rolls his eyes, green eyes glaring into yours as he responds.

“Y/N. What part of what I said was a lie?”

You swallow hard, the acidic feeling in your mouth burning.

“Like almost all of it? You and I were real. We loved each other. And we still do.”

He places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes, as he drawls his voice out, each word stinging more.

“Do we?” he asks, his look so harsh it stings and the tears rise to your eyes.

Yes. You do.

“Yeah. What-what about yesterday? On the beach?”

He sighs, pushing his hand through his hair as he falls out of your hold, putting space between you two.

“I asked you if you knew what it meant when I kissed you. You clearly didn’t understand what I was trying to say.”

“And what did it mean, Eren?”

“That was a one time thing. For-for fun. It didn’t mean anything like that, I-I was just thanking you for coming down all the way for my birthday.”

You pale.

“You and I spent hours talking on the beach. About-about it all and-”

“We did other things too.” he responds, his voice biting.

You feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment, the understanding registering. That you spent hours on the beach talking, but amongst that there were other things you did too. The pale purple on his neck is proof of that.

“But-but you said all that stuff before. Sang that song, called me the moon and-”

“You’ve always been into that fluff shit. We always say corny shit like that before we do stuff.”

You pale, every memory of Eren whispering soft words against your skin as he kissed you souring in your mind. Because of the insinuation that none of it was real. That he just did it because he knew you liked to hear it, not because he meant any of it.

“Excuse me?”

“You know. The whole “we’re fish together thing” and the songs and all that.”

You stare at him, at his forehead crushed up in frustration and his green eyes, cold and soulless as they stare at you. You look down at his fish tattoo, and cross your arms to cover your own, glaring back at him.

“You’re a fucking liar, Eren. You-”

“Y/N. I’m a fucking actor. My entire job is to pretend like I like you, do you really think I am so incapable of keeping the act up when the cameras turn off?”

“It doesn’t make sense. There’s no reason for you to do that.”

“There is. I want to win Best Actor in a TV Series.”

“And what does that have to do with us?”

“Levi said that this role, if I did it right, could make me the fucking best. And you-you had no experience. I had to make sure that you actually liked me so that I didn’t have to carry you in every fucking scene. So that your acting wouldn’t bring me down.”

"Eren."

"Why did I win an award for the Thank You scene? Because you actually fucking liked me, because you were able to cry and act in the scene. You're a good actor, but you were never that good."

“But what about after? You-we were together when we weren’t filming.”

“You went on your tour. Got distant. Did I ever once make any effort to talk to you when you stopped? No, I didn’t. You broke up with me on that balcony because your team wanted you to date Ricky James instead of me. Did I stop you? No. You know why? Because who you date doesn’t fucking bother me, not in the slightest.”

“You knew. We-we understood each other. That’s why we broke up, because it’s fishbowl and-”

“Who the fuck would be okay with that? Seriously, if it was all in earnest, you think I’d just let you do that?"

“Then why the fuck are you writing depressing ass songs at the Met Gala and then taking care of me after the whole thing went down?”

“Y/N. You’re so fucking naive. That’s what you have to do. I act on the screen and I make people interested in me after the fact. I write songs about you, make it seem like you’re the one who broke up with me, so that people stream the songs. So that people talk about them. So that they’re popular. And then I save you after the fact, because at the end of the day, you and I still have a show to fucking finish and I can’t exactly leave you out there in the rain, can I?”

“Eren.”

“Think about it. After you were good and fine with Ricky, did we keep talking? Did it stay the same? No. I had no interest in putting effort in after that, because I was dating another girl. And I still am by the way.”

“Eren.”

“Get it through your head. You- I had to help you. In whatever way I did. Your parents weren’t famous and you had no ins. I have to do something to offset that if you’re my co-star.”

"No part of real to you? Not even one?"

"It-it's fun to pretend sometimes. But that's all it is, Y/N. Pretending. Faking it."

You feel a hand on your shoulder, squeezing hard, and turn to find Armin, his jaw clenched against his head.

“Are you serious, Eren? How can you even say that to her?”

“It’s the truth. She should try it sometime.”

You choke back a sob, your chest heaving up and down, as Armin lets go and pushes Eren, the irritation sitting in his chest.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you doing this to Connie? To Y/N?”

“Armin. We filmed one show together when we were kids. Don’t get mad when I don’t have the same loyalty that you all feel for each other. It was fun, but I still have a career outside of it.”

“Eren. You loved Attack on Titan. And us, you-you wanted to go back to it so many times after we stopped filming and went on hiatus.”

“Yeah. Because I was in a show that was actually good. Not shitty movies that were flopping. That-that had nothing to do with you guys.”

“Eren.”

“You guys should leave. I’ve had enough.”

Eren reaches for the last bag, grabbing Armin’s polaroid camera on top before pushing the last bag into Armin’s hands. And when he extends his hand to hand Armin the camera, he pulls back at the last second and lets it fall to the ground, with a resounding crack.

All you see is red.

“Eren. What did you just do?” you ask.

“My bad. I broke it.” he spits out.

Armin swallows hard as he looks at it, the camera that’s documented every portion of your childhood, every up and down and in between for the past seven years, now broken in his hands. Levi and Hange's vow renewal, every birthday, everyone messing around in between takes and- he just broke it.

You crouch down and put a hand on Armin’s shoulder, his tears falling straight onto the floor, over the camera. And pick up the pieces with him, the jagged edges hard in your hands, as you carry them over to the car.

You look back one last time, to see Eren with his hands in his pockets, illuminated by the moonlight, you take one last look and sit in the car. And then get in the car and let your tears flow freely. You lift Connie’s head and place it in your lap as Armin puts in the directions. And on your right, your phone buzzes and you pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hi! This is the Seattle Aquarium! We just wanted to know what time you would be coming by for your friends birthday tomorrow so we can set up?”

You swallow hard and hang up, cursing the stupid aquarium and the stupid fish that got you caught up in this in the first place.

You slide to Eren's contact - the picture of you two staring back at you - and block the number. And make a mental note to get your tattoo removed.

“Hello.”

“You’ve sat idle for three months now. And I’m not letting you sit around any longer. It’s-you have to defend yourself. This-you’re better than this. They’re making a mess of you.”

“Let them. Is there really anything I could say to stop them? No and-”

“Watch the link I sent you. Quit talking back with your shit excuses and remember why you even did any of this in the first place. And then call me back when you’re thinking straight.”

The line goes flat as the notification comes, the link in your messages. You open it up, a clip of Hange’s getting their triple threat commendation. Their speech, the one that got you involved in all this shit in the first place, ringing in your ears. The only reason you wanted to be a triple threat in the first place.

To anyone watching at home, in their living room in their rundown pajamas, this is a sign to never ever give up on your dreams. Because that used to be me, and it can be you too. Never let anyone stop you from becoming the triple threat you are meant to be. To let that fire run wild and true and let people see the real you.

The media made a shit show out of you, in the three months that followed. So much so, that you don’t even show your face in public. Because it snowballs so fast, the entire drama around Don’t Worry Darling, around you and Eren and Hyla becomes the only thing people talk about.

And the narrative is simple. You're quickly written off into something you’re not. That you faked your relationship with Ricky James and Eren Jaeger for publicity, that you leached off of their fame to be famous yourself. That it’s all you care about.

Hyla goes on the record and brings up the night you and Eren shared on the beach. And quickly gives you your reputation as a home wrecker, as a people pleasing attention seeker who likes people who puff up her ego.

People like Jean and Mikasa, like Connie and Sasha - who are still famous and good for your image, but not famous enough to over shine yoU. Not like Historia, who you so quickly discarded and then opened a full on competition with when you released your records.

That at the end of the day, all you are is a small town girl from Canada, with a sick need to be at the top of the pedestal. To have people clamoring around you, praising you, because of your inferiority complex. That you're easy, that you have no feelings, that you're not even a real person.

The words churn in your mind, the thought angrily swirling with every other feeling. And the push, the support in a moment like this solidifies your plan in your mind. To let that fire run wild and true and let people see the real you.

The real you.

you’re right. i’m in.

on my first flight out. we’re going to bury this asshole in the ground.

And in the most perfect way, you’ve got the best person at your side helping you. Always known for upstanding honesty, truth, and for digging people into holes when they deserve it. For burying them with art, with carefully chosen words and songs.

It’s what makes her the perfect right hand to your revenge. Historia's always had a flair for the dramatics.

next part linked here

an, again: sukuna reputation era? sorry. girls do it better. (im just kidding, he'll be part of the reputation era but our best baby girl historia will be too). there is just something so insane about them ALL using historia as a piece of evidence against y/n and then her being right at her side. also no one hang me at the stake please.

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636

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mattslolita · 5 days

Note

okay so idk if you’re taking request cs if ur not im soo sorry but i CRAVEEEE toxic babydaddy chris or matt like imagine yall imagine😔🙌🏾

dilemma - c. sturniolo

in which ... you can't stand chris's new girl in the picture, and you both realize how much you miss each other especially for your daughter. baby daddy!chris x black!fem reader

warnings : angst, toxic!baby daddy!chris, crying, smut, fluff in the end :3

"𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊 𝒅𝒐, 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒊 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖."

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ

"alaijah baby, i need you to stay still, please!" you pleaded with your daughter, attempting to grip her unruly curls as she brushed her hair softly.

"mama, when daddy coming?" alaijah babbles, a soft smile on her face as she toys with the bottle of hairspray on the bed which keeps causing her to move around.

a lump forms in your throat at the question, but you attempt to give her a tight-lipped smile anyway. "I'm dropping you off my love, remember? we're getting ice cream on the way."

"ice cweam!" alaijah giggles excitedly, causing her to topple over the oil sheen which tumbles off the bed.

you groan and shake your head, losing the grip you had on her ponytail as you bent down to pick up the oil sheen — the thing that annoyed you was the fact that if it was her dad combing her hair, she was obedient with him. she never gave him problems when he was the one doing her hair, and it made you frustrated.

after picking the bottle up and setting it back down on the bed, you opened candy crush saga on your phone and handed it to your one year old girl, who happily took your phone and sat snug in between your legs.

with a satisfied smile, you begin to brush her hair again, thankfully having no more problems — that is, until your phone rings and you look down to see alaijah's dad trying to facetime you.

"daddy!" alaijah shrieks, a huge smile breaking out over her face.

you didn't want to talk to him, but you weren't going to deprive your daughter — so against your better judgement, you swipe up and accept the call.

"lay, hi sweetheart!" chris smiles at his daughter through the screen, and internally making your heart melt.

"daddy! hi!" alaijah giggles, scrunching her nose cutely as she waves at him through the screen, "miss you!"

"i miss you too, angel," chris says, his beam even brighter at the sight of her, "you ready for this weekend?"

"yah!" alaijah nods happily, poking at the phone, "daddy, say hi to mommy!"

rolling your eyes, you try to move yourself out of the camera's lens especially when you see chris's smug smile on the screen. "hi, momma."

you make a stank face at him and continue doing alaijah's hair, but the one year old makes a pouty face at you when she realizes you didn't answer him.

"mommy, daddy said hi!" alaijah presses, causing you to let out a sigh.

"yeah, daddy says hi," chris smirks, and you can feel your cheeks warm up despite the unwillingness of it all.

"yeah, hey," you said sharply, shooting him a glare through the screen as you're now getting started on alaijah's baby hairs.

"c'mon y/n/n, be a little nicer to daddy," chris continues, causing alaijah to giggle and you to groan.

you put your hands over alaijah's ears gauging a confused expression from her. "shut the fuck up, christopher."

chris just laughs and shakes his head as you uncover alaijah's ears, and she continues to look down at the screen excitedly — you continue watching as your daughter and chris talk for a little bit more, and you can't help but smile a few times at the way chris looked at her with so much love and admiration. it makes you wish you two had never broken up, otherwise you would've been a real family.

you pulled up to chris's house and sighed, looking at alaijah in the rearview mirror — she grinned at you excitedly as she seen that you both had arrived at her dad's house.

you quickly get out of the driver's seat of your car and open the back door on that side, unbuckling alaijah from her car seat and picking her up.

"daddy house!" alaijah beams excitedly, as you close the car door and move to the trunk where her overnight bag was.

"yes, are you excited baby?" you ask her with a smile, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek, and she nodded with a giggle.

her overnight bag was on your shoulder and you internally groaned as you made your way towards the front door of his house — alaijah immediately reached out to press the doorbell, and you could feel her excited nerves radiating from her which made you smile at her again.

you almost dropped your daughter from your hands when you saw what opened the door — a blonde woman who looked to be your age, dressed in skimpy ass clothing which had you heated. you could tell she had extensions in her hair, and you scoffed at how cheap they looked.

"can i help you?" she snarks with an attitude, a hand on her hip as she gives you a once over.

"i know damn well this bitch is not..." you scoff, shaking your head, then looking back up at her, "girl, i'm here to drop off his daughter. who the fuck is you?"

"i'm his girlfriend," she says, boastful smirk on her face, and your heart drops and your face visibly hardens at this.

"did i ask, hoe?" you say to her, taking a step closer causing her to step back slightly, "get the fuck out my way before-"

"what's going on?" chris's voice suddenly comes, causing your blood to boil. damn, he looked so fine.

"you better check your bitch before i do," you say to him, causing the blonde girl to narrow her eyes at you as chris pushes her to the side.

"daddy!" alaijah says excitedly, reaching her arms out for him.

"hi baby!" chris coos to his daughter, taking her from your arms as he brings her close to him, "i missed you!"

you watch the sweet interaction with a yearning heart, but you seeth when you see the way the blonde girl looks at him with just as much adoration as you do — chris looks between both of you with an amused expression, and you could just give him a right hook right now.

"look, my daughter's here, can you both not come for each other?" chris says with raised eyebrows.

you fully turn to face him now, crossing your arms over your chest. he takes your figure up and down unashamedly, and you try to keep yourself from smirking as you realize you still had that effect on him. "that broad better not go nowhere near my baby, christopher."

"still using that full name on me?" chris scoffs with an amused smile, shaking his head. "i'll see you sunday night, alright?"

you quickly leaned up towards alaijah to press a kiss to her cheek, caressing it as she smiled at you. "i'll see you soon baby, okay? have fun."

"bye mommy, i love you!" alaijah tells you.

"i love you more."

without waiting for anyone to say anything else, you make your way towards your car, giving your hips a little extra sway as you knew chris would be drooling as he watched you walk away. you were proven right when you went to get in your car and chris had definitely been watching after you. you smirked as the blonde girl gave him a look of disbelief at the action, and you drove away, still feeling angry upon seeing her in the first place.

sunday night couldn't have come fast enough — you were bored and somewhat lonely without the comfort of your daughter with you, but you were able to run a few errands.

chris texted you and told you he would drop alaijah back off at your house, and you scoffed and only replied with an "ok." you knew it would piss him off, but how could he be the one upset?

soon, a familiar engine lowly rumbled outside of your house and you felt somewhat nervous because you knew it was chris. you heard the car door open then close, and footsteps slowly approach your porch until a knock on the door sounded.

almost too quickly you answered, and your heart warmed at the sight of chris holding your daughter in his arms tightly, her head laid on his neck with her eyes closed.

"she's asleep," chris said, swiping at his nose then nodding towards her, "can i go lay her down?"

you nodded wordlessly, stepping aside so that chris could walk in with her. he knows your house like that back of his hand ( nevermind the fact he used to live there with you! ) — he makes his way to your room, but you don't follow him.

instead, you cross your arms and sit at a barstool at your kitchen table, tapping her fingers along your arm as you wait the treacherous minutes it takes for your ex boyfriend to say his goodbyes to his daughter.

he emerges from your used to be shared room and grins at you, causing you to narrow your eyes at him. "what the fuck are you looking at?"

"i know you're still mad, y/n," chris shrugs nonchalantly, taking slow deliberate steps towards you.

"boy what are you talking about?" you say with a roll of your eyes, crossing her arms tighter on your chest.

"you're mad about lexi," chris says, egging it on, as he knows you're seething right now.

"oh, so the bitch got a name now, too?" you say, scoffing and shaking your head.

"you mad cause i'm fucking another bitch?" chris smirks, and you whip your head up at him at this remark.

without any warning, you stand up and quickly walk over to chris, yanking him by the arm and pulling him towards the couch in the living room — she shoves the man back on it, immediately going to straddle him as he looks up at her with a smirk and an amusement in his eyes.

"y'know lay's asleep, right?" chris tsks, rubbing the sides of her bare thighs which caused goosebumps to raise on her skin.

"then you better shut the fuck up," you say.

you smashed your lips onto chris's, having been craving this feeling again for so long — his hands immediately went to grope your ass which prompted a gasp to leave your lips and chris to slip his tongue inside your mouth.

you grinded down against his hard on, which you felt poking through his jeans as it so desperately wanted to be free. never breaking eye contact with him, you lifted your his shirt above your head and threw it behind you, and chris went to unclip your bra causing your perfectly round breasts to spill out.

"fuck, i missed seeing your pretty tits, ma," chris groans, immediately attaching his lips to your left tit whilst he massages the other.

"mhm chris," you breathe out, throwing your head back as he switches, giving attention to the other tit.

you grind down on him again, making the both of you moan at the contact. "pull your pants down."

you get up and take your shorts off, also giving chris enough time to slip out of his jeans and boxers, revealing his large, veiny cock which already leaked with precum — your mouth salivates at the sight.

you pull down your panties revealing your wet cunt, to which chris lets out a groan and strokes himself, but you narrow your eyes at him and smack his hand away, going to hover over his cock.

your hands find their way to chris's shoulders, latching onto them as you slowly sink yourself onto him, pulling a moan from the both of you.

"fuck, you're so big!" you whine, the stretch burning being that you haven't felt him inside you in a long time.

"so tight baby," chris groans in your ear, guiding you with his hands.

once he's fully inside you, you begin to move back and forth on his cock, the veins in his hands now prominent with the grip he held on your sides. "fuck baby, just like that!"

"you feel so good, oh my gosh," you moan out, throwing your head as you pick up your rhythm, bouncing up and down on his cock.

chris meets you halfway, thrusting up into you pulling multiple whines from you as he hits your sweet spot over and over again.

"fucking me so good ma, i missed your pussy," chris moans, leaving sloppy kisses to your neck.

"m'close, christopher," you moan out, keeping your steady pace.

"yeah?" chris groans in your ear, "come on baby, let go fa me."

it doesn't take you long before your orgasm comes crashing through you, your juices spilling over chris's cock and a loud moan of his name falls past your lips.

this sends him over the edge too, and hot spurts of his seed spill inside of you, mixing your juices together. he helps both of you ride out your orgasm, then you quickly get off of him to catch your breath.

he pulls you back towards him and shoves a finger inside your pussy to keep his cum in there, eliciting a gasp from you as you look at him with disbelief whilst he grins at you.

"what the fuck?" you gasp out.

"need my seed inside you, so you know who's yours," chris grins at you.

he takes his finger out then stands up, grabbing your hand and leading you towards the bathroom — he wordlessly grabs a towel and wets it, and you can feel tears from in your eyes as he does so.

none of this meant it was going to last long — he was going right back to the same boyfriend he was before, which was the ultimate reason you broke up in the first place. but you couldn't help the way you still loved him.

"please don't cry," chris says, breaking you out of the trance you didn't realize you were in.

"why shouldn't i, chris?" you sniffle, as he wipes your legs delicately, "it's not like we're getting back together."

chris could feel his heart break at the words you said, causing him to hang his head — it was his fault, and he couldn't believe he'd ever let someone like you go. he was so scared of fucking up, that he fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him.

"i miss you," you admit.

"i missed you even more, y/n," chris says, lifting your chin so that you could see in his eyes. and for once, there was a trace of sincerity in those blue depths. "i can't believe i broke our family up like this. i fucked up really bad, baby. but i want us to be a family."

"you mean that, baby?" you look up at him with a smile, and he wipes the tears away from your eyes, nodding.

"of course, ma. i love you so much."

he leans down and places a kiss to your lips — but this time it was sweet, but yearning. he missed both of his girls, and he was glad he had them back.

after cleaning you up chris grabs your hand again and leads you towards the bedroom, where alaijah is sound asleep in the middle of where you both used to lay.

you climb on side and chris on the other, and as if sensing the presence of her dad, alaijah moves towards chris like a magnetic touch, and he puts his arm around his daughter looking down at her with nothing but love and admiration.

you smile at him with your head propped up on the pillow, and he looks at you — he affectionately taps your nose, causing you to giggle as you take his hand, placing a soft kiss to it.

"goodnight, baby," you tell him, and he leans in to place another kiss to your lips.

"goodnight, my love," chris says back.

you get under the covers with them, moving close towards alaijah in the process to wrap your own arm around the girl, too — chris places another sweet kiss to both of your foreheads, finally at peace knowing he was with his number one girls again.

lil💌

two fics in one night, who is she😳🙏? i hope y'all enjoy this, i love u so much muah💌.

@luverboychris @muwapsturniolo @prettiest-poision @mattsturniolosleftnut @mrssturnioloo @guccifrog @junnniiieee07 @astrowh0r3 @v33angel @ilovechrissturniolo1 @e1ias3 @l0akkzz @hysteria-things @eyeliketoeatpoosay @sturn777 @stasiesturn @prettypinkprincess15 @breeloveschris @summerssover @mayhem-72 @riasturns @chrissturniolossidehoe @moonk1ss3d @v33angel @h3arts4harry @stargirll567 @bitchydragonparadise @heartsforchrisandmatt @pepsienthusiasts @tillies33ssss @thenickgirl @sturnprime @summerssover @k4di333

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sashazakbun24 · 27 days

Text

Just thought I'd wanna know what are yall more interested to see in my Kinito content?

I am having a lil dilemma between doing the Kinito and crew lore I made for them or the animatronic au lore. (both will allow asks) I'd like to hear your thoughts on this im eager to show you more since i enjoy doing these ^_^

#kinitopet #kinito the axolotl #kinito my beloved #kinito fanart

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chweverni · 4 months

Text

baby, its cold outside

pairing; bf!myung jaehyun x fem!reader synopsis; it's chilling cold outside, but you need to wake up to go back home for the holidays. how is jaehyun going to survive a second without you? how can you be this heartless? warnings; tooth rotting fluff, myungjae being the cutie he is, kissing, clingy boyfie stuff lol word count; 500 author's note; my head is literally in the clouds bye, as always reqs are now open!! i'll make a masterlist of my fics soon :33

"but, baby it's cold outside.. don't go.", your sleepy boyfriend said, tugging at your shirt, motioning you to join him under the warmth of the comforter.

and sure it was, it just started snowing recently, and the whole city is chilling. you loved seeing the little children gather outside to make snowmen or throw little snowballs at each other. your mother had called you back home, to enjoy the holidays there at your hometown, with your family, old friends and neighbours.

but your boyfriend, who has an adorable bed-head by the way, does not want to let you go whatsoever. its nearly killing him to not cuddle with you right there and then, shower your face with kisses till you fall asleep with him again.

"my mother will start to worry, babe.", you replied, lying next to jaehyun again, facing him to plant a kiss on his neck. he smiled lazily, cupping your cheek with his hand. "how can you be this heartless to the love of your freaking life?".

there it is. the way he always managed to be this adorable and cute tugged your heart strings a little too hard. you had not introduced him to your family yet, mostly because you were scared, since jaehyun was your first, and maybe the last too. he understood you well, and knew you inside out. and you could say the same for him. his family lived abroad, so he barely saw them during the holidays. this was your first holiday together and to be honest, you were stuck in a dilemma.

"say baby, what if i took you home?"

his eyes lit up at your proposal. your previously sleepy boyfriend was now wide awake. he rubbed his eyes and said, "say that again."

"how 'bout you come with me for the holidays?"

in a matter of seconds, jaehyun dragged you closer as his lips met yours. you responded as both of you began to smile against the kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck as he mumbled numerous i love you's or you're so cute or i'm glad you're mine in between. both of you giggled after breaking the kiss, jaehyun's eyes forming two crescent moons while doing so.

"i really won in life, i have a cute, kind, and considerate boyfriend who loves me very much."

"and i'm lucky to have a girlfriend who's way cuter, kinder, sexier and is my personal teddy bear."

you playfully hit his chest as he pulled you closer to cuddle under the blanket.

you loved him a little too much to leave him for the holidays all by himself. he had your heart and you had his. both of you were each other's warmth.

there was no way he would be alone when it was this cold outside.

all creds to chweverni on tumblr<3

i hope yall enjoyed this one! feedbacks like likes, comms and reblogs are always appreciated!! :3

#boynextdoor #jaehyun boynextdoor #boynextdoor x reader #jaehyun boynextdoor x reader #jaehyun bnd x reader #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor jaehyun #i love him so bad

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shayyprasad · 4 months

Text

my peter | peter parker

takes place during no way home, tw: cursing maybe, mentions of suicide

i dont i remember the movie, and i couldn't pull it up so enjoy this made up script that loosely follows that plot with multiple time gaps :)

ghostspider!reader (yall the ghostspider was researched for like 15 minutes and i have the most vague understanding of it)

summary: you end up in peter's world... just not your peter's. (takes place during no way home.)

word count: 2.0k-ish words

i didn't know how i ended up here. on second i was there... and then... i wasn't.

i remember falling, i think. from something tall? a building. yeah, a building. no. we were- we were on a clock tower? at the top. and the last thing i remember is a gunshot. shot directly at my webs-wings...?

i was falling, and then i wasn't.

i pulled myself up against the wall of the dark alleyway, shivering as the cold air wrapped itself around me, sending goosebumps down my skin. i simply couldn't remember how i'd gotten here, and it was killing me. i staggered out, my vision blurry. i hovered my hand in the air, faint blue sparks crackling.

my eyes widened when i heard loud honking, and bright lights seared into my line of sight. i opened my mouth to scream, but suddenly a blur of blue and red swung by me, and then my feet weren't in the ground. i buried my nose into the neck of whoever it was, and it only took one thing to figure out who it was.

his smell. he smelled like love and pinewood and all the sweet things. and as creepy as it probably sounded, he smelled distinct, like home. he was home.

he was peter.

even after he'd set me down somewhere, i still let my arms linger for a moment longer. or two.

"uh, ma'am? i-"

my eyes glazed over, because here he was. here was peter. but how? wasn't he dead? my peter was dead, right?

"peter, love, is- is that you? how-... oh my god. i- i thought you were dead- you have no idea how happy i am to see you. i'm actually going crazy, aren't i? you wouldn't believe it. because one second, i'm on the clock tower and then you're here and i'm in an alley. what happened?"

he was stuttering, and clearly struggling to piece together a sentence. "w-who's peter? i'm not- i'm not peter," peter said, laughing nervously.

"can you not, babe? i'm in a dilemma. like, dilemma dilemma. no joking right now. like... you're here. right now. in front of me... but... you're dead."

"i'm not peter, and not dead." he added.

"hon, we've literally been over this. i know you're spider-man. remember when i walked into you changing out of the suit? because, like, not to brag, i knew something was up."

"look, lady, i've got no idea who you are, but you need to chill. i don't know who you think i am, but i'm certainly not him. please let me take you home, or to your asylum, or wherever it is that you live."

"pete, this isn't funny."

"yeah, i get that. and i'm not peter."

"yes, you are. you're peter parker, age nineteen, you live with your aunt, and you swing around in speedos all day for fun. i think i know who my fucking boyfriend is, all right? now tell me what's going on, like, right now."

he was speechless, and i took that as an opportunity to rip his mask off his face, causing him to yelp in shock. i could see anger knitted onto his eyebrows, and tucked fiercely behind his eyes. "what the hell-!"

in every way possible, he was peter benjamin parker. except one.

i ran my thumb over his left cheekbone, brushing the spot gently.

my peter parker had a scar across that part of his skin, and i knew that because i kissed him there every morning. right? ...right?

so what on earth was going on?

"you- you don't..." i took a half step back, and i knew he said something, but i couldn't hear him. my heart was thudding so loudly in my chest, i could hear it in my ears. when i turned around, i saw a large building, and on it was a giant "a", lit up and shining like a christmas tree.

since when was that there? since when was...?

and the more i looked, the more i could pick things out. many, many things. like the fact that there was a delmar's? as far as i knew, that didn't exist. it didn't... it wouldn't- but then what was i looking at? what was happening?

my head was aching, and it felt like the migraine i had would kill me.

fuzzy images swirled around in my brain, pressed towards the back of my head.

"-under arrest."

"she can't-"

screaming.

"-murdered harry-"

"he tried to-"

"-killed peter.

"peter-... suicide-"

"no-"

fuzzy again.

more screaming.

"-doesn't justify her actions-"

"she-"

god, the screaming. it was drilling itself into my head, burning into my memory. and it wouldn't stop. it wouldn't- wouldn't stop.

peter was dead. harry was dead. and i was wanted for- no. no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. i was- i-

i took another step forward and i felt the the floor behind me disappear. only then did it hit me that i was on the high piller of a big bridge. i heard a thwip behind me. and i was pulled back, my back hitting something. tilting my head up, i saw peter's (was it even him?) confused expression, before it morphed into something of understanding. like he knew somthing i didn't.

"you're right. i am peter parker. but i'm not your peter parker. i, uh, i'm not really sure how to explain it, but this isn't your universe."

"i- i don't-"

"i know, i know. i can help you, but only if you trust me. can you do that?"

i didn't even comprehend the fact i was nodding, because not even a second later, i was holding onto him for dear life and swinging.

things had happened (not many) since i'd met him. met? was that the right word? because i'd met him before, and god, i'd done a little more than just love him. but i think this was different. maybe because i... i was in a different universe? multiverse? he tried to explain it to me, but my brain still hadn't caught up.

also, i cried.

a lot.

and then i stopped. because my tear ducts were dead, and it didn't feel real. so i ignored anything that had already happened, and focused on what was about to happen.

everything was hazy, and i couldn't figure it out.

for some reason, being near this peter made me feel safe. because he looked the same, talked the same, and acted the same. i pulled his hands to me, holding them in mine. my lips were pressed in a thin line, and my eyes were watering, briming with tears.

he could tell i was scared. i think he was, too, because he didn't let go. he stayed by me.

when would i go home? go back to peter? not any peter, my peter. was i even going to get to go home?

i wasn't alone here. we were in some... basement? it doesn't matter. anyways, there were other people. three were in some weird cell thing, and there was a boy, maybe around peter's age, talking to another man.

he was tall and had a fancy looking cape around him that i could only wish i had. he was awesome, i decided.

"hey, uh, girl," he nodded towards me, and on instict i sat up a little straighter. "do me a favor, yeah?" he asked me, but i got the sense that it was rhetorical, so i didn't answer. "go- go stand over there," the man squinted and pointed his finger toward a small corner, secluded slightly."

"dr. strange?" peter inquired, "what are you-"

"uh-bup-bup-bup. no talking, spiderling."

i made brief contact with the curly hair boy and dropped my hands, standing up to do what he was saying. at this point, i'd figured that it was better not to question cape guy. but the second i got there, i hear a whoosh of air behind me. turning around, i saw that they were trapped in the same translucent cage.

"hey!" peter yelled, "what the fuck did you do? does it look like she's of any harm at all?"

i paused. they weren't in it. i was. sucking in a breath, i stumbled backwards, hitting the wall. i just wanted to go home. i didn't ask for this. i didn't ask for any of this. i just wanted to go home. to peter. to my peter.

"what's the point, anyways?" strange retorted. "she can't go home, now can she? and she sure as hell can't stay here."

peter didn't say anything, so strange continued. "she's gonna die, peter, and there's nothing we can do." he looked at me, "i'm sorry."

"no," i murmured, so quietly i was suprised to hear myself. "you aren't sorry. don't shit yourself. you don't care. and why would you? this doesn't concern you, you selfish bastard."

"she can stay here," ned piped up. "with us. s-she can help us- an-and..."

"yeah!" peter exclaimed. my heart beat a little faster then.

strange sighed and shook his head, "i don't think you understand the consequences-"

"so what do i do then? go ahead, enlighten me. take her home to die? because, yeah, that makes me a great hero."

"kid, it's not about-"

"she's staying. she's helping us send them home... and then- and then she can stay." he looked over at me, "you do want to stay, right?"

i shrugged. what was left at home for me anyways? death row? maybe i could have a fresh start. here, with... peter. could he be my peter?

"yes. i do."

"then it's settled, let her out," ned declared.

pete and i were outside, on the roof. we weren't talking, but the silence between us was enough. i lit small blue sparks in my hand, playing with them. it was nice. it was comforting.

"so, uh- woah. that- that's awesome!"

i looked over at him. "huh? oh. yeah. i'm like you, but not."

he looked confused, so i took it upon myself to elaborate.

"well, you're spider-man. i'm- i'm ghost spider. long story. don't wanna go into it."

"it's okay. i can't do that. i can stick to walls," he grinned, making me snicker.

"oh, what a skill."

"how'd you get here?" peter asker, once the giggles died down.

i sucked in a breath, "harry osborne? i don't think you have one. he was my peter's best friend. got into an argument because harry was sick and he needed peter's blood to... i dunno, heal? get better? anyways, peter wouldn't give it to him because of the possible effects his blood could have, because of the spider bite."

he nodded, signaling me to continue, "harry pulled some crazy shit, turned into a crazy flying green man... and... he killed my peter." my voice cracked towards the end.

"i- i'm so sorry."

"it's okay. harry made it look like a suicide, but i knew. i knew and that was enough. harry owed oscorp, which is like the stark industries. who's gonna pin it on a rich white man? no one. i guess i had enough... and i killed him. the world found out and they all wanted ghost-spider dead. so... yeah. i don't really remember how exactly, but i fell from a clock tower. i know that if i tried, i could've saved myself. but i- i didn't want to."

"i'm sorry." he said again, because what else was there to say? "i lost my... you."

"what?"

"my mj. strange says there's a version of every person in every alternate universe. mj was you. i couldn't save her."

"that's the worst part of this job. you can't save the ones that matter the most."

"yeah," he murmured solemnly.

"i'm glad that if i'm stuck here, i'm stuck here with you."

he smiled, dropping his head onto my lap, and i quietly played with his hair.

"oh my god. we did it. we- we did it!"

"yeah," he said quietly.

"oh, peter, i'm so, so, so sorry. about- about all this. about may, and about the whole world, well, except me, forgett-"

"it's okay," peter smiled softly, pulling me close to him. "because... at least i got something good out of it," and with that, i'm proud to say, he kissed me.

yes, we were still grieving. but it would be okay. because we'd do it together.

my peter.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #fluff #angst #spider man no way home

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streamafterlaughter · 2 months

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Chapter XXI: Baby, What Did You Expect?

summary: it’s the mid tour finale, and of course nothing is as it seems. i’m horrible at blurbs pls forgive me

cw/tags: alcoholism, addiction mentions, probably some improper AA etiquette, angst per usual, lots of tears. gn!reader, rockstar!eddie, estranged lovers, mutual pining, angst

a/n: hehe haha hehe. this is probably my best work thus far. i really hope yall enjoy it, this took a LOT out of me

—

January 1991

Steve’s POV

“Pick up, pick up, pick up.” He taps his foot on the linoleum, the buzzing overhead lights causing him to squint through his already painful migraine. Your phone goes to voicemail again, and Steve all but slams the payphone down onto the receiver. “Fuck!” He huffs, turning back down the hall, defeated.

In his room, Eddie sleeps on the hospital bed under a thin blanket. There’s a tube in his nose, but the doctor said the word stable, leaving Steve some time to call you. Not that it mattered. Even if you had answered, what would he have said? Would you even want to know?

–

July 1991

Eddie’s POV

It’s been a whole year since he’d seen you, but there you were. Right in front of him, dancing with a small redhead covered in tattoos, a plastic cup in one hand, the other in the air. He already knows he won’t go over, won’t approach you, or even try to violate your field of vision. But he can’t bring himself to look away from you, the way your shirt clings to your body perfectly, the way your skirt lands right below the curve of your ass, your exposed legs going on for miles. He drinks you in from afar, without caring how creepy it feels, seeing you without your knowledge, It’s day eighty nine, but Eddie turns to the bartender and orders a drink.

–

Present Day

Your POV

It just doesn’t make sense. If Steve had known about Eddie’s problem like he claims, then why on earth had he let him drink himself stupid? Your brain tries to rationalize your best friend’s choice, but you come up with nothing. There is no good reason for what Steve did. Didn’t he pride himself on taking care of his friends?

You sit up as the bus starts moving, preparing to confront Steve before quickly remembering he’s on the other bus. Instead, you find Robin reading a beaten copy of On The Road in the breakfast nook, and drop down beside her, sighing.

She glances up but doesn’t speak, eyebrow cocked as you pout for her full attention. She dog ears her page, making a show of sitting up straight, like a proper catholic girl in class.

“I’m having a dilemma.” You state, refusing to let your voice crack. “I need an outside perspective.” Really, you need someone to tell you what you want to hear, but you can’t say that.

“I’m all ears, babe.”

“This whole thing with Eddie,” You ignore her not so subtle eye roll. “Something’s just not right. Steve knew, y’know, about Eddie’s drinking. He told me himself he’d been aware, even before I was.”

“Okay…”

“But Eddie had been drinking, when tour started. A lot. And Steve definitely knew, because he’d been the one to carry him to bed most of the time.”

“What exactly is your dilemma in this scenario?”

“Why was he watching his friend backslide? Why didn’t he do a fucking thing to help him?” You can’t keep your voice from weavering, and you choke on your breath. “I don’t get how he could claim to care for Eddie, to love him, and let him do that to himself. Not after-” You stop, not knowing what Robin should and shouldn’t know.

“After what?”

“After everything, I guess.”

“Listen to me, honey. Eddie is a grown man, so’s Steve. Sure, we’re all buddy buddy, but when it comes down to it, we can’t always play heroes.”

“What, so we’re supposed to be okay watching Eddie slowly kill himself?”

Robin pinches between her eyes, deep in thought. “No, of course not. But at some point, talking to a wall is gonna get old. But, hey! Eddie hasn’t had a drink in weeks, right? So why the worry now?”

You shake your head. “I guess I’m just nervous. We have a month off, and I don’t know where i’m gonna go. I could go to my place in Boston, or go back to Seattle. I just-”

“You’re worried about Eddie.” For once you’re grateful for how easily she can read you.

“I am.”

“You want my advice? Play it by ear. No one said that you have to stay away from him now that business hours are over. You can afford to reconnect with him, in the real world.” She makes a point, but what exactly is the real world? The world you know is barely real, and the one you’d known before it felt even less so. Sometimes you wish you’d died in the Upside Down, at least then you wouldn’t have known such a profound kind of pain.

–

Eddie’s POV

“Tomorrow night, we play our last show of the first leg of the Freak Show Tour,” Eddie announces to his bandmates crowded around the small breakfast table of the tour bus. “We will rock this house like we have rocked no other, a grand finale they will wish they televised!” The response is various whoops and cheers from his friends, and a small smile from Steve as he stands aside with his arms crossed. “Let’s make sure the state of… uh…” Eddie places a hand to his mouth, stage whispering to Steve, “Where are we?”

“Delaware.”

“Let’s make sure the state of Delaware can’t prepare for what we’re about to give ‘em!” Eddie hollers, and his friends join in as the bus pulls around the back of the hotel parking lot.

–

He swipes his key card as he catches you unlocking the door next to him. “Hey neighbor.” He winks, feeling awfully bold after a long trip without seeing you.

“Hey, Eds.” You send him a smile that makes his heart skip, and he curses himself for being so easily bent out of shape. You and him are friends. Friends with a long, frustrating history, but friends nonetheless. “You ready for the mid tour finale?” He asks, awkwardly shifting to lean against the doorframe.

He catches as your face falls the slightest bit. “Yeah, I guess so. It’s gonna be weird, I think.”

“How so?”

You shrug. “I dunno. We’ve been on the road for like a month now. It almost feels normal. I won’t know what to do with myself when I’m back at home.”

He must be mistaken, but your words sound almost like an invitation, a cracked door. “Where’s home for you?” He asks, ignoring how tacky it must sound.

–

Your POV

It takes a lot to bite your tongue before you blurt, “You,” but you manage.”I uh, I think I’m going back to Boston. Might as well, it’s where we start back up again.” It will be August then, and you’ll have heard for sure whether you’re playing one of the biggest music festivals of the year. You still haven’t told Eddie, and at this point you aren’t sure what you’d say. “What about you? Where are you headed?”

Eddie sucks his top lip between his teeth in thought. “Maybe LA, or I’ll hold myself to my promise to visit Wayne. Depends.”

“On what?” It sounds like a challenge.

“On if I want to face my guilt or keep running from it. Or something equally dramatic.”

You snort, pretty eyes rolling back into your head. “Please.”

“What?”

“Don’t be shitty. Let yourself feel guilty, god knows you deserve to. Visit Wayne, at least for a while.”

“Why does it matter to you what I do?” He doesn’t mean for the words to come out as harshly as they do.

“Believe it or not, Ed, you still matter to me. Very much. And if you let yourself be miserable, we’ll all have to put up with your bullshit when we come back. Do us all the favor. Go home.” You swipe your card again, entering your room before Eddie can respond.

–

It shouldn’t matter. You and Eddie aren’t what you used to be, no matter how hard you delude yourself into thinking you can get back there. That possibility feels long gone, completely unreachable at your current status. You have to settle.

You walk over to the big window in your room, drawing back the heavy shades to reveal the setting sun and city of Dover below. You lay back on the bed, the fluffy pillows soothing you quickly to sleep.

–

A knock on your door rattles you awake. The digital clock on your nightstand reads 11:30 PM, and you groan as you roll onto your feet. Another round of heavy knocking makes you scurry faster to the door.

“What?!” You demand, flinging the door back to reveal a disheveled Steve clad in a wrinkled tank top and linen pajama pants. “Oh good, you’re awake.” Steve shoves past you and into the room without an invite, causing you to spin on your heel to face him.

“Well, I am now! What the hell is going on?”

“I can’t find him.”

“Who?”

“Eddie!”

Good fucking god. “He’s not in his room?”

Steve looks at you like you’ve asked the dumbest question in the world. You suppose you have. “No. He went out. Didn’t seem like he was okay.” Steve holds his face in his hands. “I’ve called all the bars in the area, no one’s said they’ve seen him. He could be on the street somewhere, he could-”

“Okay, enough!” Of course he’s worried, but you’re fed up with Steve’s inability to be consistent. “Where was this attitude a month ago? When he was drinking himself silly before every show, when he would beg for whiskey the mornings after? You let him relapse, and now you’re worried?” You don’t realize you’re yelling until someone next door bangs on the wall, demanding you shut up.

“What are you talking about?” Steve sniffs, lifting his head to look at you.

“Steve, you’d known this whole time that Eddie has a problem. You’ve been letting him indulge in it, doing almost nothing. Now you’re surprised he’s gone out without telling you? Seriously?”

“There is only so much I can do to stop him, Y/n, you have to know that. I had to watch him vomit all over himself while I waited for the paramedics, I had to watch him detox in that hospital bed. Then I had to watch him relapse. Not just last month, but last year. He fell off the wagon after eighty nine days, Y/n, eighty nine. You wanna know why?” He waits for you to answer, but you’re not sure you want to. “Because he saw you at a gig. In New York, last July. He called me that night, told me everything. Told me he was sorry, that he was a waste of my time, all that shit. Made me promise to never try to save him again.” Steve’s in tears when he finishes, and you feel your own start to fall. “I have kept my mouth shut because I promised, but I worry about him every day. Well, until lately. He’s been so much happier, and there’s no use even arguing why that must be. But he’s not your responsibility either, I know that. It’s not fair of me to be putting any expectations on you. I just thought you might know where he is.”

You drop onto the mattress beside Steve, resting your head on his shaking shoulder. “I think I might know where he is. We can’t go there, though.”

“Why not?”

“It’s supposed to be anonymous.” You hope to every god that you’re right.

–

Eddie’s POV

“I haven’t been to a meeting in about a year,” Eddie starts, addressing the small group in front of him, sitting in a circle of folding chairs in the basement of a church. “But today is the two year anniversary of the worst day of my life. I guess it’s getting to me lately.”

“What happened two years ago?” The woman running the meeting encourages Eddie. She’s an older woman, with sandy blonde hair and a wrinkled, kind face.

“I ruined the best thing I could have ever asked for. I lost the love of my life, walked out on them for the last time after months of doing whatever I felt like with their feelings…

–

July 1990

“We can’t do this anymore.” You’re talking to the ceiling, arms resting on top of your chest, you don’t look at him. He’s next to you, stuck to the bed with sweat, breathing in your scent that begins to suffocate him. He knew this day was coming. You’d been seeing each other for about a month now, after half a year of not speaking.You’d fallen victim to his drunken pleas, as well as what Eddie suspects is your own self hatred.

“What are you talking about?” He plays dumb, hoping you’ll chicken out of leaving him for a second time.

“This,” You motion to the room around you. “I can’t see you anymore. It’s too much.”

“Too much?” Eddie sits up, and wills the room to stop spinning.

“Every time you come over, you’re wasted. You’re miserable most of the time, and the times you aren’t you’re hopped up on blow. It’s like you’ve added me to your list of fucking bad habits. I don’t want to be that for you anymore.” Your tone is ice cold, not a hint of sadness or anger in your voice at all. It chills Eddie to his core.

“Fine.” Eddie huffs, shoving himself out of bed. “Makes perfect sense, you telling me all this after I fuck your brains out. Made sure to get what you wanted first, right?”

“Eddie, come on,” You go to move, but Eddie tucks the blanket back over you.

“No, really, it’s fine. Ten minutes ago you were telling me how much you missed me, how good it felt. Now you’re cutting me off? Just like that?” Eddie shoves his legs clumsily into his jeans, cursing under his breath when his toe gets caught in a hole. “We talked about this. This was supposed to be purely physical, remember? You agreed to that.”

“I did, I know. But I agreed before I could understand that you’re… well, different.”

“Different how?” He snaps. You hesitate, picking anxiously at your fingernails. “Y/n?”

“You’re mean, Eddie. You’re cold. You don’t care how you make me feel, or rather, how you don’t make me feel when you sleep over. I’ve had to fake it. Beyond that, I can’t even make conversation with you. I feel used. It’s lonely.”

He sees red. Eddie gathers up his jacket, and his still half full beer bottle from the nightstand. “Fuck you,” He spits, tossing things aside as he searches for his keys. “Y’know what, yeah. We’re done.” He gulps the rest of the drink down before slamming the bottle into the bin.

“We can’t be done if we weren’t anything to begin with.” Your words bite, despite them originally being his own from when he’d come up with such a stupid agreement. “And we won’t have to break up, because this isn’t a thing.” He’d seduced you after a show one night, high out of his mind. He’d never expected you to agree to it.

“Perfect,” He snaps, daring himself to look at you. Your eyes are wet, but you’re stoic. You don’t tremble, you don’t heave or scream or shudder. “I don’t ever want to see your face again.” He doesn’t mean that, and he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. But he can’t take them back now. “We don’t know each other.”

“I don’t think we ever did.” Your final words ring loudly in his ears as he slams the door behind him.

–

The group waits patiently for Eddie to finish, and he wipes a tear he hadn’t noticed from his cheek.

“You say you see this person frequently now?” The woman asks, and Eddie nods.

“We’re on tour together. Tomorrow’s our last show ‘til next month. Needed a meeting a little extra tonight, I guess.” It’s past midnight, this group being one that meets in the late hours to cater to night shift workers.

“Well, we thank you for sharing with us tonight, Eddie.”

“Thank you, Eddie.” The group responds as if on cue. The meeting is dismissed shortly after, and Eddie makes his way to the table for complementary stale coffee and doughnuts.

“You’re really brave for coming here.” The voice is small, taking Eddie a second to register. He turns around to face a girl who can’t be older than seventeen. “I’m Macy. Addict.”

“Hi, Macy.” Eddie greets her like he’s reciting a script. “I dunno about brave. That’s probably the last thing I feel right now.”

“Well, think of it like this. You could have gone to a bar, or a club to try and score. You came here instead. That’s brave.”

He shrugs. “I guess you’re right.”

“And they still love you, y’know. That doesn’t just go away.”

“How would someone your age know so much about something like that?”

Macy shrugs. “I follow the tabloids. I know who you are. I won’t say anything, obviously. But I’ve been watching you, with them. I’ve seen the photos, and the music doesn’t leave much to the imagination.”

“You can’t believe everything you read.” He’s not sure whether to take her word, she seems so genuine.

“Maybe not, but I believe this.”

Eddie gives her a sad smile before saying goodbye. She waves him off with a warm smile.

Once outside, he lights a cigarette, letting the smoke fill his lungs as he closes his tired eyes. The exhaustion has washed over him, and he’s ready to be dragged under when he hears footsteps approaching.

—

Your POV

He opens his eyes and meets them with yours, heavy from lack of sleep. “Hi.” You wave shyly, like you’ve never met him.

“How’d you find me here?” He flicks ash onto the concrete.

“Saw the flier in the lobby when we came in. Checked it again and saw one less tab on the bottom. Minor detective work.” You smile, despite the exhaustion written on your face. His cheeks warm.

“You alone?”

You nod. “Took a world of convincing Steve not to come with me. I think I’ve sedated him, though.”

“Shit, he that worried?”

You shrug. “You know how he gets. He’ll be glad to know you’re okay, though.”

“What, did you think I’d gone on a run too?”

“No, actually. It was my idea to check here. Relieved as shit that I’m right.”

“Yeah, me too.”

You stretch your hand out to hold as the doors swing open, a herd of people filing out. A small girl with a sweet face sends Eddie a smile, and winks at you before getting into a cab, and you turn to find him blushing.

“Friend of yours?”

He chuckles. “Guess you could say that.” He entwines his fingers with yours without waiting for an invitation. All too familiar touches, worlds away from where you’d stood only a month ago. “So,” He starts, swinging his arm and yours as you start back toward the hotel, “were you worried about me?” His tone is teasing, tinged with what can only be described as hope.

You can feel your cheeks warm and you suck your bottom lip between your teeth. “Guess you could say that.” You squeeze his hand. “But that’s nothing new. I’m always worried about you.”

—

July 1990

Your POV

“It’s over,” You’re sobbing into the receiver, barely able to hear Steve’s sigh on the other end. Relief? Disappointment? You can’t tell, your senses are blunted only by the thought of him.

“Are you okay? Wait, stupid question,” Steve stumbles on the other line, unsure of how to comfort you. “Can I do anything?”

You shake your head before you remember he can’t see you. “No, no. I’ll be alright. I ended it. I had to. He’s not the same person I fell in love with. I know that now.”

“Maybe, but there’s a lot you don’t know.”

“Do I want to know?”

Steve waits a beat before answering, the static of the line filling your head. “No, I don’t think you do.”

You talk for an hour before you feel your eyelids grow heavy, and say your goodbyes before hanging up. You are once again in silence. Alone. In a fit of rage— or of heartbreak, you’re not sure, you fall to your knees and let go. You haven’t cried like this in months, the kind of cry that leaves you hoarse and tired, but tonight, in the dark of your bedroom, you cry for the person you used to know.

—

Eddie’s POV

“Thank you, Denver! Goodnight!” The crowd erupts into cheers, pleas for a second encore, and Eddie’s sure he can see women in the front row tearing their bras off to throw onstage. The house speakers blast Talking Heads Burning Down The House as kids make their way to the exit. Eddie slides through the crowd of techs and stagehands backstage, making his way to the green room to collapse on the weathered couch.

“That was fucking incredible!” Jeff exclaims, clapping his calloused hands together. “Best show so far, I think.”

“Psh, that was nothin’, wait ‘til you see what Boston can do.” You’re sitting in the rickety recliner, a cigarette between your fingers, still dressed in your stage clothes. Your skin shines with sweat and glitter, cheeks rosy from exertion. You’re most stunning like this, Eddie thinks.

“Yeah? You willing to bet on that?” He jokes.

“Oh, more than willing!” You chuckle, stubbing out your smoke in the ashtray next to you. “But tonight, I turn in early.” You make a point to stand up, stretching your arms above your head. Eddie’s eyes fall to your midsection, exposed to him while you sort out your limbs. You’d think he’d never seen skin, the way he feels his skin burn at the sight of your stomach.

“Aw, it’s our last night together!” Sylvie whines, shoving you playfully. “One drink?”

Eddie waits with bated breath, and swears your eyes dart to his before you answer.

“Fine. One drink.”

—

Eddie doesn’t follow you to the bar, he knows better. Tonight has already been difficult, knowing he has nowhere to go after tonight, nowhere he wants to go, anyway. He digs through his duffel bag until he finds his long ignored copy of Tighten Up. He wants more of you, somehow. He’s still desperate to know how you’d felt, those horrible years apart.

He skips to the title track, tucking his hair behind his ears before equipping the headphones. The song greets him with the static of an amp, followed by the clicking of drumsticks. When it kicks in, the song is full, clearly a whole band effort. Robin’s bass cuts through with a funky riff, layered underneath dirty guitars and heavy drums. He’s sure the song can’t get better until your voice slices through the music

Dared myself to stand back up, / After all these wasted tears, / Felt my heart sew itself together, / After all that wear ‘n’ tear. / I let you turn your back on me, / I watched you walk away, / And ‘til now I let myself believe / I was supposed to die that way. / But now I’ve tightened up my heart, / I’ve locked away the pain, / and I don’t have much left to give, / without asking for the same.

You tell a story of a broken soul, fighting its way through the dark on its own. The music swells as you belt the chorus, and Eddie can almost feel his fingers hurt during your guitar solo. Robin’s backing vocals fill out your lead, and the buzz of the snare drum carries out the bridge.

When the song fades, Eddie takes his headphones off, needing to digest what he’s just heard. This one might just be his favorite on the album, at least so far. It feels like the pinnacle, the turning point of the story told by the tracks. He’s heard it live, sure, but something about hearing the way it’s produced gives him more of an idea of what you’d been feeling in the moment.

He has an overwhelming urge to see you. He launches himself out of bed, gathering himself as best he can for being so frazzled. He’s in sweatpants, a tattered t-shirt draped loosely over his form, hair pulled into a low ponytail to keep from tangling. He goes to turn the knob, but stops when he hears voices in the hall.

“I can’t believe it.” You’re wasted, words slurring together between hiccups and giggles. Eddie can picture you, rosy cheeked and stumbling, clawing for his arm to support your swaying weight, and his heart lurches as if to grab you through the door. “We’re playing fucking Lollapalooooooza!” You howl the word, and he hears Steve shush you as Robin cackles.

“Hey, hey!” Steve stage whispers, trying to silence you. “Don’t go gloating about it.”

“Why not?” He can almost hear your pout, and he chuckles to himself.

“I don’t wanna deal with you pissing Eddie off.”

“Y’know, Stevie, he’s gonna find out one way or another. Might as well come from me. Besides, he’s different. He’s happier, I think. I dunno. I hope he’s happy, he deserves to be happy.” Eddie’s heart swells as he listens to your tangent, but you’re not done yet. “I wish I could make him happy again. I feel like, whatever I do, I make it worse.” Your voice is cracking, whether from overuse or from trying not to cry, Eddie can’t tell. Now he has to see you. He goes to turn the knob again, but there’s a knock on his door at the very same moment.

Eddie opens the door almost as soon as you’re finished knocking, wafting your scent of lavender and vanilla into his nostrils.

“Hi,” You exhale the word, and Eddie can’t help when his lips twitch upward before he lets his grin free. “Needed to see you.”

“What a coincidence.” He tries not to let his excitement show, standing aside to let you in. “What’s goin’ on?”

“I have to tell you something. Well, I don’t have to. But I want to. You were the only person I wanted to tell, actually. I hope you’re not mad, though. I don’t know what I’d do if you were.”

“Hey, whoa, slow down,” Eddie rushes to where you sit on the edge of his bed, spiraling as the liquor tightens its hold on you. “Why would I get upset?”

You shrug lamely. “I dunno. Just, need you to be happy for me right now. Please be happy for me.” It’s a hoarse whisper, a plea meant for his ears only.

“Oh, sweetheart,” He doesn’t know where to put his hands, so he settles for resting one clammy palm on your leg. “You can tell me anything you want.” He knows what’s coming. You’re playing the biggest festival in the States. Something he’s dreamed about since the festival came to be. Of course it hurts, but Eddie can push that aside to be happy for you. He knows better.

You don’t continue, though. Instead, you scoot further into his side, nuzzling into his shoulder like a needy cat. Despite his aching heart, Eddie wraps his arm around you, letting you further into his hold. Your breathing slows back to normal, and Eddie has no desire to move from this spot. Tomorrow, you go back to Boston, and Eddie fucks off somewhere to wait out the month until he gets to see you again. He can indulge for one more night.

“I do have stuff to tell you,” You say finally, “but not right now. Right now, I sleep.” You hum, and he scoffs. Surely you won’t remember this tomorrow, so he decides not to push you. Eddie slides out from where you rest, laying you back into the mattress. He slips off your shoes and jeans, careful not to tug at anything else. He then tucks the blanket up to your chin, and starts to make a place for himself on the floor when your hand shoots out, snatching his wrist.

“Please, sleep here.” You pat the bed next to you, and he melts at the gesture. Your eyes are almost completely closed, hair wild from dancing, sweating, whatever you’d been doing tonight.

“You’re drunk, sweets. You’ll be upset in the morning.” He doesn’t want to deny you, especially in your softened, sleepy state.

“No!” You shake your head vigorously, wincing at the movement. “No, I won’t. Please, Eddie,” and he’s a goner. Of course he surrenders, and tucks himself into the warm bed next to you. You snuggle into him like it’s instinct, making a home on his chest as he lay stiffly with an arm around you, waiting for you to get comfortable.

You let out a sigh, your breathing slowing, arms wrapped around him with surprising strength. Eddie’s mind starts to wander back to the song, how someone is capable of two such wonderful emotional extremes.

Your mumbling tickles his neck, pulling him from his head. He doesn’t quite catch the words.

“What was that?” He coos, enjoying your touches, your breath on his skin. He could live here.

“I said, ‘I love you, Eddie.’” The words come out strung together, but to Eddie they puncture with each syllable. “G’night.” And before he can respond, you’re snoring.

Eddie, once ready to retire for the evening, is now completely wired, feeling you drift into dreamland next to him, as if you haven’t just upended everything.

—

chapter xxii

tag list: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills @potatobeanpie @poisonedluv @kellsck @m-chmcl-rmnc @veemoon | send a message to be added

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #90s au #strangerthingscentral #st #fundamental differing #fd #new kid fic #rockstar!eddie #rockstar!reader #eddie munson fluff #angst

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luna-moth-0 · 10 months

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I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE!

Alert spoilers from season 2

(remember though that this scene is a sort of dream of Will so what happens during it is not real in the show)

So- first of all let's talk about the stag and the wendigo because their meanings are really important to understand how deep this scene actually is.

The wendigo and the stag are seen multiple times in the show as hallucinations of Will and as you know they represent Hannibal. But here is the difference between them as they represent two different sides of Hannibal. Or more precisely the two faces of Hannibal that Will sees.

The wendigo is the violent, controlling, cannibalistic version. Basically the "psychopath" Hannibal. Everytime Will sees the wendigo it's in a situation where Hannibal seems to be his enemy, like during Will's trial (Will sees the wendigo instead of Hannibal when he goes to give his testimony because Hannibal is the one getting Will in this situation, he's the one framing him)

The wendigo is the one who betrays Will, the one Will wants to kill.

Then we have the stag. The stag is the complete opposite. He represents the loving, understanding, friendly Hannibal. The stag is the Hannibal that is on Will's side. Everytime Will sees the stag is when he feels he can trust him, like when he's in prison and Hannibal comes to see him (in those visits Hannibal expresses his want to get Will out of prison and prove his innocence.)

The stag is the one Will craves and loves, because he makes him feel understood.

Alright now that this is explained I can go on about the scene.

This moment takes part in season two, therefore during a time when Will knows about Hannibal and manipulates Hannibal to trick him and catch him. And the way he manipulates Hannibal is by using the love that Hannibal has for him, he acts like he's on his side and understands him and loves him leading to Hannibal letting his guards down.

He uses the stag against Hannibal himself ,he takes advantage of his feelings.

In the scene Hannibal is tied to a tree with a rope tied to the stag. So if the stag goes further away from the tree, the rope gets tighter causing Hannibal's death.

The stag being responsible of Hannibal's death or life represents the way Will uses this version of Hannibal to catch him.

It even goes further than this. Later, after Hannibal's speech* , Will whistles which gets the stag moving. So Will has power over the stag. Again, because he actually uses this version of Hannibal against him, he really has power over this part of Hannibal.

And when he gets it to move he kills Hannibal, representing how he betrays him.

But alright alright this scene shows how Will took control back and is full on manipulating Hannibal but don't worry the scene also shows his internal dilemma (Hannibal always has some control after all).

Hannibal is not the only one tied to the tree actually.

When there's this little speech it's Hannibal but when Will actually kills him it's not him anymore, instead it's the wendigo.

Why? Well because that's what Will actually wants to kill. Will loves Hannibal no matter how much he hurts him, how much he shouldn't. Because Hannibal understands him like no one does and as Will said himself "I've never know himself as well as I know myself when I'm with him"

So when he actually gets to the part of Hannibal's murder he imagines the wendigo instead of just Hannibal as he wants to kill the bad of Hannibal and not his love.

*The speech is a pure love confession to Will btw as he says loving someone is understanding them and vice versa. And if you understood the bare minimum of their relation then you know it's based on understanding each other and seeing each other so according to Hannibal's speech they love each other.

Alr I think that's all I have to say about this scene for now. I hope yall could understand it and that my English was not too bad either💀.

#hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal analysis #hannibal x will #hannibal lecter x will graham #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy

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luvistqrzzz · 11 months

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THE ACCIDENTAL POLAROID- 20::: Love, Y/N ( written::: 0.47K )

( warnings::: none )

This was a bad idea. This was the worst out of the bad ideas you've ever had but there you were again finding your way to Heeseung's locker, an envelope clutched in your hand.

You didn't know what putting "things right" meant but all you wanted was to apologize to him and after what he had said, talking to him face-to-face might just make matters worse (also sending letters was romantic and you were a coward). Needless to say, you had cursed yourself a countless times for your actions that day.

When you reached the locker, you quickly looked around your surroundings to check for any signs of him before slipping it past the slot and, quite literally, sprinting away in the opposite direction to hide behind a pillar.

After a while of waiting, you saw Heeseung approach from the distance. Your stomach did a sudden flip at his sight.

Now, the said boy was living in much the same dilemma, of how to walk up to you and kiss you talk to you. At least his friends had been successful on putting some sense into him.

Heeseung opened the locker only to find a big creme coloured envelope inside. He furrowed his eyebrows before opening it.

Inside it was a polaroid, tucked safely along with a letter. He took in a sharp breath. The polaroid of yours he took months ago. Your face bent down, a small pretty smile grazing your face.

Dear Heeseung or should i say 'mr.H'?,

So i kinda figured out you'll be the only who sent me this polaroid, im not wrong right? Cuz you have terrible photography skills! Im kinda sad that it's already fading :( i cant believe that it was one damned polaroid that lead me to you. But i wouldn't have it any other way

Moving on, lemme get straight to the point. Im sorry for what i did and im also sorry for being a coward and not being able to tell you this personally (also i figured you wouldn't wanna talk to me). Nothing can compare to what i did that day... and s*ngh**n told me that b4 i kissed him, i said that i missed you. Yes, you, Lee Heeseung. And ik our relation wont prolly get back to normal but i hope you accept my apology... its okay if you don't forgive me, now or ever.

But in the end, i like you heeseung. A lot. And i wish we could take more polaroids like this one, i wish we could document our lives in polaroids and when we get old we'll see those fading pieces of paper and laugh at ourselves.

- Love, Y/N.

From your crouched position behind the pillar you saw as Heeseung folded the paper and stalked the other way. It meant nothing, he was just walking away but why did you then feel your heart sink?

Prev | Masterlist | Next

SUMMARY- Lee Heeseung doesn't believe in love at first sight but what happens when he accidentally clicks a polaroid of a girl at the local diner? A girl he can't seem to get out of his mind.

Will he be able to return you the polaroid or will love follow him along the way?

GENRE- smau with written parts, college!au, strangers to lovers, fluff, crack, angst (veryyy slight), slight love triangle

TAGLIST- open! send an ask or comment to be added- @yenqa @xuimhao @ddazed-lhs @astrae4 @ghostiiess @seungminstaehyun @haechansbbg @chaechae-23 @ak-aaa-li @whippedforbeomgyu @ahnneyong @ineedaherosavemeenow @jhopesucker @j-wyoung @tnyhees @liliansun @rikizm @jadeluvsenha

( bold = cannot tag )

AN- enjoy the cliffhanger my loves 😘... also if yall want pls vote whether yall will prefer love theory ( summary ) to be a smau here! 🙏🏼

#📸accidental polaroid !#enhypen smau #hyfenet #enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen social media au #enhypen au #enhypen fanfics #heeseung imagines #enhypen fake texts #enha fics #enhypen fluff #lee heeseung #heeseung smau #enha fake texts

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myownprivatcidaho · 2 years

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plssss so basically every spring the studio does a talent showcase and he offered to drive ~an hour thru ntx traffic on a saturday morning to help with setting up and reading for like an hour and a half all without being offered anything in return and theres an unlisted yt vid of the showcase and some bits hes reading with little kids and his voice is so soft and gentle and patient and offscreen you can hear him telling these little 7/8 year olds they did a good job LIKE

#DO YALL SEE MY MOTHERFUCKING DILEMMA #its like hes good and then i remember oh yeah. all That happened.#this isnt an ~in fairness~ type thing cause whatever he thinks he did/has been doing is its all sth he clearly cant justify to himself #so it says sth he does it all anyways #BUT LIKE. i have a feeling we have two VERY different versions of the same story lmfao #anyways all that to say. hes genuinely a solid and good guy so its hard to completely pull away and act emotionally unaffected #when i in fact am very much affected!#that one crush situation lol

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agoodfictitle-shadowban · 2 years

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The Price You Pay - Part 4

Wanda Maximoff x f!reader

[TPYP Masterlist]

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: Life as a college student isn’t always easy, so when the opportunity to make some money by pretending to date your best friend’s sister arise, you decide to take it.

Tags: fake dating, paid dating, jealousy, possessiveness, Pietro’s bestie, darkish!wanda, no Avengers, bad life decisions, college!au, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, divorced!parents, Vision is kind of a dick, other mcu characters apparition, no proofreading (lemme know if im missing something)

Warnings: Bad language, alcohol consumption, some violence, smuttyfruity (so, 18+, minors dni, dom!Wanda, sub!reader, orgasm delay (r receiving), restraints (r receiving), oral (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), fondling (r receiving), making out), pay for sxx

A/n: sorry for the delay, between the surgery and the cat fleeing, i had a hard time getting the energy to write especially with smut. So I'd really like to have feedback and everything, it would really help get me back on the saddle. I love yall friends <3

Tag List: @red1culous @sayah13 @princess-kennys-rats @marrymemcgrath

After what had happened, you decided to avoid Wanda for a bit, and it worked. Until it didn't. Your doom came in the form of a text on a beautiful Thursday morning. You just came out of the pool when you checked your phone and saw the light flash a few times, telling you you had a message. You grabbed the device and frowned when you saw who texted you.

[09:43 am - Wanda] I need your services for tonight

The message was simple and direct, and it almost made you forget why you were avoiding Wanda in the first place. But the feeling at your core from simply reading her name was quick to remind you what had happened. This put you in a delicate position. You wanted - needed, even - the money to spare you pride, but you were starting to doubt Wanda's intentions. Did she really need you? And more importantly, could you deal with the consequences of whatever game she seemed to want to play? Because the more you thought about her, and her touch, the more the feelings you used to carry for her showed themselves. And you'd very much like to not end up with your heart broken, thank you.

So now, you had to face a dilemma: what did you put first? Your pride in the face of your family, or your heart?

You found the answer after a few long minutes.

[10:09 am - Y/n (neighbor)] Okay, I'm in. What kind of event is it?

[10:16 am - Wanda] We're going out to a bar with my friends. Vision will be there too

It sounded like a very similar deal than last time, so it should be fine. There was no reason why it would go in weird directions again.

[10:17 am - Y/n (neighbor)] Okay, what time?

[10:37 am - Wanda] I'll get you at 6pm

[10:44 am - Y/n (neighbor)] Okay, cool. See ya

[10:37 am - Wanda] Don't be late

You rolled your eyes, you had no trouble seeing the way she would cock her head to tell you that. Like you'd ever been late before. Maybe you should try to make her wait a bit, just to see what would actually happen. That was a very tempting idea and you played with it a bit, a smile gracing your lips. It would be a good way to get back at her.

So, when the time came and Wanda rang the doorbell, you were still far from ready - or as far as you allowed yourself to be. Which meant that when you opened the door, you were in shorts and a sports bra. She arched an eyebrow when she saw you.

"I thought I told you to be ready."

"I guess you did." You offered her a shrug and walked back inside, leaving the door open for her to follow if she so desired. "The time must have slipped by too fast for me to notice. Guess you'll have to wait a few minutes."

You heard her walk behind you and the door closed right before she pushed you against a wall, not even bothering to turn you around. Your cheek touched the surface as her hands held you there, one against your shoulder and the other on your waist, slowly snaking around you. She was being oddly gentle, even in the way she was keeping you from moving with her strength. It almost drove you crazy, and if she hadn't kept you in place you would have turned around for a needy kiss when her fingers traced around your groin area. She leaned against you, and her lips brushed your ear.

"When I'm paying you, Y/n, I expect you to do what I tell you, or at least to be polite enough to let me know in advance if you won't be able to respect my demands. Am I making myself clear?"

The thought of pushing her some more, just to see where this would go, went through your mind. You were curious after all, and the feeling of her fingers on your skin was intoxicating. It almost made you forget why you actually tried to put some distance with her. But you weren't ready to assume your desires yet. Instead, you licked your lips before you nodded, your throat very dry. "I– crystal."

A smug, satisfied smile answered you, one you couldn't see as long as she kept you pushed against the wall that way. "Perfect. Now go get ready." Slowly she stepped back and freed you, very careful to keep her eyes on you. You finally turned around and were able to see the hunger in her eyes. Incapable of facing her right now, you did what you were told and went to your room to get ready.

A lot of the people you saw at the party were here tonight. Carol and Steve were happy to see you again and welcomed you with open arms, but Vision seemed less than comfortable to have to deal with Wanda and you. You decided to ignore him and just focus on the role you were supposed to play. You realized how easy it was to slip in it, with her possessive arm around your shoulder and her other hand slipping into yours when you weren't drinking. It was different than when she seemed to only want to play with you, almost like she truly cared about you, and it made you feel warm - a very different feeling from the arousal she ignited in you more than once now.

"So, when did you two start dating?" The question brought you back to reality. Natasha looked at the two of you with vested interest, and for a second you started to panic. You were a good liar, but you never got to discuss that with Wanda. But it seemed like she thought about it more than you, since she answered with no troubles.

"Not long after Y/n moved back from her dorm, she had a get together with Pietro and we kept talking into the night long after he fell asleep. And the rest is history."

You remembered spending time with Pietro right after you came back, but the rest was a lie. There never had been any long conversation between the two of you since before this whole fake dating thing you were barely on her radar. The most you got from her were banalities in the form of niceties.

"It's funny, I never imagined you together," Vision chimed in with a wry smile. "You've known each other for years and only now got close? Seems weird to me."

"That's because you never had any imagination, Vis." The blatant barb left a moment of uncomfortable silence in the group. You pinched your lips to hide a snicker and drank some more of your glass.

"I can see it, Wanda had a huge crush on Y/n in high school," Natasha finally said in hope to break the tension, and you choked on your drink, making almost everyone around the table laugh. Wanda sent a murderous glare to her friend who took a very innocent face.

"You did?" You looked at her, not believing it. There was no way, she never showed any interest in you, she barely talked to you at the time. You remembered her calling you an idiot on so many occasions, and complaining about you always being at the twins' place, asking you if you didn't have your own house to be at. At best she considered you a nuisance.

She stayed in control when she answered. "What if I did? We're together now." You couldn't help the big smile that took your whole face, and she rolled her eyes. "Don't let it go to your head, detka."

And for a second, it felt real, like you truly were together as you answered her. "I can't promise anything, you're always so good at feeding my ego." You leaned closer to her with a mischievous smile.

"The things I'd do to make you feel good…" she all but purred at you in an ungodly voice that sent shivers through you. There was a feeling at the pit of your stomach, an instinct that wanted to actually see what she'd do, if she'd stay true to her words. You bit your lip, her eyes falling on the movement, and actually had to lean away when you noticed how close you two were. You couldn't deal with that right now, not in front of everyone. Luckily, the conversation around you had turned to something else.

The rest of the night went smoothly, and you were careful with your alcohol consumption this time. Carol tried to egg you on, but was quickly shut down with a stare by Wanda. There was something fascinating in seeing the ginger impose herself like that to the boisterous blonde with a simple gaze, something that made you crave this kind of attention.

You wondered some more about that desire on your way home from the bar, the silence in the car auspicious to those wandering thoughts. They went back to learning about Wanda's past crush, and a question burned your lips. You wanted to ask about it, but lacked the actual courage to do it in the car, so when the ride came to an end and you walked back in the warmth of the night, you still hadn't said anything.

"Alright. I hope you had a good night," you said in a slightly stilted way, trying to sound professional.

"It's not over yet," she said as she cocked her head. "I'll walk you to your door."

"You sure? I mean, I can–" She simply started to walk towards your door before you could finish your sentence, forcing you to follow. "Okay, walking me to my door. Thanks."

"Don't. I simply want to prolong the night a bit."

You frowned at that. What was it supposed to mean? That she wanted five more minutes or was it something else? You didn't have a lot of time to really wonder more, and you stopped at your doorstep with her, getting your keys out. Just as you started to unlock your door, the heavy gaze of Wanda on you, your curiosity finally got the better of you and you turned to her.

"Was it true?" You asked in a rushed manner, and knowing you needed to give more information for your question to make sense. "That you had a crush on me?"

Wanda raised her eyebrows at that question, from the surprise to see you actually go there. She played with her rings briefly, the only sign of nervousness you see her exhibit around you ever, and finally she sighed before she answered with a low shrug. She didn't like that it had been revealed, but now that it was out of the bag, she had no reason to hide it anymore. "Yes, I did."

Your heart skipped a beat. Her honest answer was as surprising as when you heard it earlier, and you had a hard time wrapping your head around the concept.

"How… why did you–" you stuttered some more before your hand drew your hair back. With a sigh, you shook your head. It was in the past, like your own crush (or so you told yourself) and it was best to leave it there. "Nevermind."

But she wouldn't let you off the hood so easily and she stepped closer to you. "I mind. Why don't you finish your sentence?" She nudged you, her words a hand offered to lead you somewhere, but you had no idea where exactly. You still decided to follow along.

"Why didn't you tell me at the time?" You finally found enough bravery in you to ask, still shy, unable to look at her despite wanting to see her reaction. Her closed index lifted your chin up to force you to look at her in her scarily focused eyes.

"Because I wasn't ready. But now…" she breathed you in closer and your eyes fluttered close when you felt her lips brush yours. "Now I am."

She took your lips and you immediately melted against her, fitting perfectly together. She tried to take a step back to say something, but you hungrily brought her back to you. That simple kiss opened the floodgates of everything you had been feeling in the past and present, and you couldn't resist it anymore.

The second you brought her back to you she slammed you against the door and her kiss became hungry. You moaned against her lips and she swiped her tongue in your mouth, invading it like she owned you. And she might at this point, you thought.

When you separated for air, keeping you from following her again, her dark eyes fell on yours, and then your kissed bruised lips.

"Door. Now," she ordered and you nodded. She let you go and you unlocked the door for good. You barely passed it that she was already all over you, slamming the door behind her before she turned you around to kiss you some more. She pushed you towards the stairs and you almost tumbled over the first step, fumbling back in her arms. "You're so clumsy."

Her voice was hoarse from desire, and it made more warmth spread in you. You finally managed to reach upstairs in between kisses and stops where she would pin you against the wall, her fingers digging in your waist deliciously painfully. You pushed past your bedroom door and the back of your knees knocked on the edge of your bed. You tried to resist the fall but Wanda pushed you down.

"Take everything off," she demanded and you were too possessed by lust to disobey. Your shirt was easy to take off, and the rest slightly more difficult due to you sitting. When it came to your underwear, your hand stalled until she kissed you encouragingly. It was more restrained, softer to reassure you, but you could feel she was holding back. "Do what I tell you before I need to punish you."

You looked up at her towering figure, and swallowed hard. She was beautiful in the moonlight, a crown of light around her, and you felt incredibly vulnerable under her hungry gaze. Still, you slowly took off the last of your clothes, now fully naked. She tilted her head as she evaluated you, her hand putting away a strand of your hair.

"You're so pretty, you know that?" She whispered and you looked away shyly. Or you tried. She grabbed your chin to make you look up at her. "Don't look away, detka."

Whatever self-assurance you usually had fizzled at the way she handled you, and so you simply nodded.

"For whatever is going to happen tonight, I'll need you to use your words. Got it?" She wanted to make you hers, but she needed to know you would be good too, no matter how heated it got.

At first you nodded again but when she arched an eyebrow, you spoke up. "Yeah, got it."

"Good girl." Those simple words elicited tingles in your core. She climbed on your legs and kissed you again, pushing you down on the bed under her, hands on your shoulders. When you reached to put your hands around her neck, she prevented you from doing so by grabbing your wrist. The way it brought her body that much closer to you, even if she was still fully clothed, made you whimper. "Not yet," she ordered.

"But I want to touch you," you complained.

"Soon. Now be a good girl, and don't move your hands."

You swallowed hard, your throat and mouth dry at the order. Touching your partner has always been something you'd do. "I'll try."

She hummed against your neck and bit your skin before she sucked on it. You moaned and threw your head against the mattress. You had to fight to leave your hands down.

"If you disobey, I'll just tie you up and make you beg for me to fuck you." Your eyes opened at the declaration, and at the way her accent reappeared after years without it. Your fingers twitched at the idea of being at Wanda's complete mercy. Was it want? The wetness that came to top the one already there would have you believe it. You almost wanted to disobey her just to see how it would feel, but the idea of begging her made you stop for now, your pride still on the way. "Is that clear?"

You nodded before you remembered she wanted you to use your words. "Yes, it's clear," you struggled to let out in between small moans as her teeth pulled your skin along your neck and your collarbone, leaving reminders of her passage along the way.

When her mouth reached the peak of your breast, you gasped. Her tongue rolled around one nipple, then the other, sending jolts of electricity along directly between your legs that you pressed together. You needed her to fuck you so badly.

Your hands reached to her back, and when you touched her skin, her eyes immediately shot up to look at you.

"What did I tell you?"

"But– I–" you were starting to have trouble forming thoughts. "I want you to fuck me. Please," you whined.

She arched an eyebrow. "Do you think that because you beg first I won't tie you up?"

"Wanda…"

She straightened up and took off her belt. "Go to the headboard," she ordered, and you found yourself doing just that. She followed. "Hands up against it."

The way she talked to you, all stern orders, made you want to both fight her and surrender, to ask for more tenderness and more control from her all at the same time. You wanted to play too, no matter how badly you wanted to be fucked, so with a smirk you asked "What if I don't do it?"

She climbed back on top of you. "I'll punish you." It was a simple answer that offered worlds of possibilities. It sounded like rules were being laid down in the lull of your first punishment.

"Will we do that again?" You needed to know before you surrendered yourself. And you wanted her to know you wanted to. For a second, she stopped, like she needed to to be able to process your words.

"We will." This made you want to spur onto her to kiss her, but you understood that you were playing other games right now. So instead you brought your hands up next to the headboard, and she rewarded you with the kiss you wanted. "Good girl."

With expert care, she tied you up with her belt. You never felt so exposed and vulnerable, but still confident. Wanda wanted you. She wanted you and you were ready to give yourself to her.

Your first reflex when she finished tying your up was to test the strength of it, pulling on the knots to try and free yourself. The headboard rattled against your attempt but you were truly tied now. Wanda smirked and her hands trailed your body.

"Tsk, already trying to break away?" She shook her head. "I won't let you, you're all mine now."

You stopped fighting and nodded. "Yeah, all yours."

"That's better." Still straddling you around the waist, she leaned back so her hand could reach behind her, finding your folds with ease. Her fingers slid over it, then as she reached the top went between your folds, brushing against your clit and to your hole, making you moan loudly and try to arch - but she had you pinned. "Oh. You're so wet." She brought her fingers to her mouth and you could see the reflection of your wetness even in the low light. She tasted you with an appreciative hum and closed her eyes. It made you grow more desperate. "I love the way you taste."

"Wands…" you whined, and she opened her eyes to look at you. "Please…"

She smirked some more and leaned close to you. Her lips ghosted over yours. "Please what?"

You tried to move under her, to buck to find any point of friction but you couldn't. "I need you to fuck me. Please. Please Wanda." No matter how much you pulled on the belt, you stayed trapped.

"Such a pretty girl, so polite too." She kissed you hard, her tongue whisking yours away in a deep kiss. "Alright."

She stood up and methodically took off her clothes in turn, and all you could do was watch as she revealed her milty skin, and her beautiful breasts. You were mesmerized by her body, your heart beating wildly at the view. God, you hoped to see it so many more times. Finally, she stepped back on the bed and spread your legs until she could kiss inside your thighs, her teeth grazing your skin. Seeing her face between your legs was a dream come true that ignited passions you thought you got over. Clearly not.

She kissed your fold first before she opened it and licked your juices. You moaned at the sweet release the contact gave you, bucking against her. "My, someone is impatient."

Her arms snaked around your legs and one of her hands fell flat on your stomach, keeping you from moving further. She kept going at you after that, her tongue zeroing in on your clit. She licked and sucked, making you moan louder than before, breathing becoming so hard and fast. She still took her time, slowing down when she felt like you were teetering the edge of an orgasm. It was driving you crazy after all the wait you already went through.

Your legs would start to shake, and you would feel the familiar built up inside of you, ready to release, and she would stop, letting you calm down only to bring you back right where you were.

"Wanda, pl– please, I nee– I– I–" you whined with your eyes shut. "I ca– I can't."

You felt her smile against you, and suddenly there were two fingers entering your cunt with no troubles. You would have came right here and there if not for the surprise, and it actually took very little time when she started to pump in and out. At this point, nothing coherent came out of your mouth anymore.

You could feel the heat build up again, your mind blanking, and you almost expected her to stop here and there, but this time she kept going, and as she did, your orgasm came stronger than it ever did, shattering your mind and body.

She held you as you rode your orgasm, her fingers still in you. She kissed your neck, and once your body unclenched from the pleasure she kissed you deeply. You breathed her in before she let you go, and gasped when she finally vacated your insides. She wanted to make you hers again, the way you looked, dazed, breathless, and a thin layer of sweat on your skin, but you looked already too tired after having spent the night outside. So she undid the belt and your arms fell around her.

She cradled you in her arms and you complied, snuggling against her. God, that felt good. Both the sex and the intimacy right after. But you were so tired… and the way Wanda stroke your hair, and rubbed your arm…

You succumbed to sleep in no time.

When you woke up the next morning, Wanda was gone, and next to your bed there was an envelope. You frowned slightly. It had to be what Wanda owed you for last night, but when you opened it, you noticed there was a lot more than you thought. There was enough for the whole night. Including for the sex. You set your jaw.

What the fuck?

#wanda #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch #tpyp fic #idk how to tag

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