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#yall think my art style is consistent
pandaemoanium · 4 months
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i was already thinking earlier about how im starting to see my personal artstyle developing, then i started drawing a new thing today and it looks totally different like ???????? ok wig i guess
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(ref, insp.)
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littlemisslipbalm · 8 months
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August, honey, you were mine
Josh Kiszka x Fem!reader - Enemies to Lovers College!AU
When originally deciding to be a film and visual arts student, Y/N had thought her biggest issue would be getting a job after college. She hadn’t known that the other people in her major would actually be her greatest obstacle to completing her degree.
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So this photo is insane and likely not accurate to the time that this would be set. However, IDC and he looks beautiful.
Separately, here is my College!AU Enemies to Lovers Josh fic... I started working on this over a year ago and really it's silly because I lost the feeling that I wanted him to be mean so maybe it loses steam, idk let me know what yall think pls and reblogs appreciated - lots of love xoxo etc. more to come.
Summary: Forced together by fate or maybe just scheduling, Josh and Y/N can't stand being in the same room together. Unfortunately, with classes and her shifts at the Lover's Inn, it seems that Josh is in her life more than ever. Can hate turn into love or has something been there since the beginning?
Word Count: 13 k | Warnings: swearing, drinking, enemies to lovers, nauseating fluff, SMUT 18+ (specifics below the cut)
oral (male receiving), fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, edging, mild? dirty talk, female masturbation, i think that's it!
-
When originally deciding to be a film and visual arts student, Y/N had thought her biggest issue would be getting a job after college. She hadn’t known that the other people in her major would actually be her greatest obstacle to completing her degree.
It wasn’t that everyone was annoying. Sure, film students could be a lot, especially for Y/N when she was planning on going into costuming and styling rather than other production aspects. There were just a few overzealous students who seemed to get under her skin more than others. 
Namely, Josh M. Kiszka. He was talented in many respects, begrudgingly she would admit that. However, his annoyances and shortcomings outweighed his talents tenfold. One spark of genius would cause ten pitfalls and plot holes, leaving a forest fire of destruction in his wake. 
His curly hair was disturbingly trimmed leaving a small rat tail at the nape of his neck for the majority of the time she had known him –at the beginning of this year he had finally cut it and seemed to be trying to grow it out but she didn’t care. He was absurd and even disturbing at times. His smile took up too much of his face when he grinned maniacally. And she could go on. 
Now, being in the same major as someone could be irritating at times, but in reality sharing one to two classes a semester shouldn’t be the end of the world. Sometimes it certainly felt like it with Josh since it seemed like he turned everything up to an 11 on purpose. A bursting zipper was a catastrophe, the wrong colored shirt was the work of the devil. But realistically, she only should’ve seen him at most eight hours out of her week – if she could avoid being paired with him for any group projects. She could do eight hours of him droning on about the intricacies of a film and chattering away about his new big idea. 
What she couldn’t do was essentially work for him. And she didn’t work for him. At all. But he certainly seemed to think so every Thursday night. 
The first time Josh Kiszka walked into the green room at Lover’s Inn, the college town's local venue made for serious music and serious drinking, while Y/N was working, she thought it was some sick joke. She chalked it up to the fact that her karma must be god awful and this was her cosmic punishment. 
She had worked there for two years before this, consistently doing backstage work happily for the experience of potentially helping musicians with costuming and styling if they ever took her up on her offer. Mostly, her job consisted of fulfilling riders and babysitting. 
On this fated Thursday, it was raining as the fading summer quickly turned into a blustery fall. The trees faded quickly, changing just as fast as they had blossomed. The biting cold of the rain had soaked her hair so when she burst through the stage right door, a spray of rain flew from her head as she gasped in the warm room temperature air. 
First rain made people drive terribly, making her later than she would’ve liked to set up the things requested by the band tonight. She was slightly bummed that because she was rushing, she might not have a chance to offer her assistance with styling of the new band, but she thought she’d just ask to help them out at a later date since her manager had told her that if they played well tonight they were going to get the recurring Thursday night spot. 
Greta Van Fleet was their name, which she thought was cool, but given their rider, she had a funny feeling that they were probably like most local Michigan bands, mediocre at best, creeps at worst. 
The two cases of beers as well as some strange hippie bullshit snacks gave her the inkling of what to expect. 
The moment she hears her name from a particular voice, a pit of dread opens up in her stomach. She didn’t know exactly why he was here but she knew instantly that tonight was going to be a long, long night. She finished straightening out the tea corner the band had requested and swiveled around to face the curly-haired bastard. The stupid smirk was already on his lips and his eyes were full of the tell-tale mischief that came with Josh. 
“You got a crush on me or something?” He quirks his head with a raise of his eyebrows. “What are you doing here?” 
Josh knew she didn’t have a crush on him. Quite the opposite of it, but he loved to see her get furious with him. It brought him insurmountable joy. 
“Never in your most self-serving, indulgent fantasies,” She seethes and juts a hip and folds her arms across her chest, taking on a defensive stance immediately. “I work here, Josh. What are you doing here?” 
He grins, taking a few more steps into the room before pausing and looking around for a moment. His eyes cast around the worn leather couches, the two rugs mismatched and covering one another, a circular coffee table that had clearly seen too much cocaine in its heyday, and the table filled with snacks and drinks perfectly placed for his band’s amusement, before returning to his classmate staring at him with an appalled but also concerned face. 
“Work, of sorts,” He shrugs, the smile never leaving his face. “Moreso play.” 
She rolls her eyes but feels her breath hitch as Josh crosses the room further, coming extremely close to her. Her eyes widen as he continues to smile at her with an innocence she knew was an act. It doesn’t leave his intensely sculpted face that was unseasonably tanned for Michigan, even if summer had just ended. His hand reaches out to the right of her frame and plucks a fruit snack pack from the basket she had placed them in five minutes prior. 
“Those are for–” 
“The band?” He asks, his head cocked to the side once more, after finishing tearing the bag open with nimble fingers. “Thanks, by the way, lover. You got my favorite brand.” 
The pure joy Josh had just found in seeing her face contort in disgust at the nickname he had just come up with meant it wasn’t going away anytime soon. He thought he was clever for calling her something inaccurate yet also fitting since her place of work was called Lover’s Inn. In his eyes, it was perfect. 
“You’re not…” She trails off seeing the delight in Josh’s features. 
He nods, not taking a step back from her personal space and popping an organic fruit snack into his smug mouth. “I am. The lead singer, actually.” 
She turns back around to remove herself from the close proximity of Josh. “You’re just bullshitting me,” She mutters, shaking her head, refusing to believe him despite her knowing realistically, it was likely true. 
“No –” His next thought, likely one to continue his aggravating crusade, was cut off by someone else’s voice. 
“Josh, y’know you could help with the drum kit, like you’re supposed to,” A younger man with long flowing locks complains as he carries in two bass cases. His hair was damp, but drying, signifying the rain was subsiding. Josh’s hair had given no indication of the weather due to the drying but jarringly yellow umbrella that lay abandoned by the door. 
Once the cases are carefully set down in a corner of the room, he realizes that Josh was not alone. He uses a hand to flip his long hair back from his face and regards the other person in the room, coming to Josh’s side. 
“Hey,” He sticks the same hand out and has a goofily familiar grin on his face. “I’m Sam.” 
She takes his hand, telling him her name while giving his hand a shake before letting go rather quickly, she was confused. 
“You’re in the band,” She confirms to Sam, who nods affirmatively. “And Josh is in it too?” She asks more skeptically. 
“Sure is,” Sam looks at Josh quickly before smiling again, like an all knowing fox. “He likes to act like we’re already famous and don’t have to load our own equipment, but we’ll be lucky to score this gig, Ja–” 
“Okay, Sammy,” Josh cuts the younger boy off. “I’ll come out and help, just, shut the hell up.” 
Y/N quirks her head as she watches them shuffle back out of the same door she had come through twenty minutes prior, watching the way they interact with one another. She goes back to finishing up the table. It looked fine, but she still felt the need to turn all of the fruit snacks so that they were facing forward and make sure the extras of things she had bought were clearly accessible. 
Another younger guy with curlier hair walked in while she was still fussing over the table, a part of a drum kit on his back and a drawstring backpack in his hand. 
“I’m Danny,” He introduces quickly after shuffling off the large equipment bag and placing it on the outside of the green room door that leads to the rest of the venue. “Drummer.” 
She nods and introduces herself once more, directing him to the table of the fulfilled rider items and that she was around to answer any questions that weren’t specifically technical. Her job, after fulfilling the rider, was handling the band before and after they performed, essentially. She attempted to make that more styling and costume related, but in reality she just was there to make sure no one got too hammered before going out on the stage and no one passed out in the green room afterwards. It was a small venue and therefore a small crew but thankfully, she didn’t have to worry about the instruments as well. Just the people. 
When Josh returned to the room through the side door, she was still waiting at the entrance. Her body leaned against the inner frame of the door. It was shut to keep the noise of the rest of the venue out of here, and vice versa. She didn’t want to be in the room any longer than she had to be, but she needed to check off with the entirety of the band. It was to ensure that all of them were here prior to their set and to check in with them about anything else they might need. Now that she knew Josh was in the band, she really wished she could just leave. She certainly was not going to ask about styling, she already had her allotment of fighting over clothing with Josh for the week in class on Tuesday. 
The surprising thing about Josh’s arrival is the second copy of him that appears behind him. Like the first stranger, he had long stringy brown hair and slopey dark brown eyes. Unlike Sam, however, he was literally identical to Josh. One realization came to her silently, Sam was Josh’s little brother, that’s why his grin had been so unnervingly familiar. 
This man, just two steps behind Josh, though, he was more than familiar. He was the spitting image of Josh except for his hair. 
She can’t stop this realization from being audible. As the two of them stand practically side by side as they converse with one another, seeming to almost mirror one another, she blurts out words before she can think twice. 
“Twins!” Her voice sounds overjoyed at the realization that they were identical. There was a hopeful glinting look in her eyes as her hands clasp in front of her and she smiles. The fact that Josh was a pain in her ass is forgotten for a moment because she finds it so interesting and unbelievable that identical twins were standing before her and that she had known one all along without knowing it. 
Josh stops speaking mid-sentence to regard her and he’s surprised by her reaction. The twin looks perplexed as well with a raised left eyebrow. She is wowed once more. 
Josh says her name and hands Danny the rest of his drum kit. “This is my other brother, Jake.” 
“And you’re twins? Identical?” She repeats after Jake waves. 
“I think you know the answer to that,” Josh throws his hands up in a theatric flourish adding to the condescending tone. 
Jake replies far more cordially. “What Josh means to say is, yes we are identical twins. Thanks for noticing.” 
“I’m sorry,” She back tracks, remembering the situation and laughing, still feeling off-kilter. “I’ve known Josh for two unbelievably long years and he’s never mentioned once that he has an identical twin brother that he’s in a band with – and he talks enough for it to have come up at least once.” 
Josh rolls his eyes with a huff of breath, deciding that he wants to continue helping with their equipment and belongings rather than listen to what he was sure was about to turn into a ‘shit on Josh’ situation. 
Jake’s laughter is loud and unadulterated as he crosses the room towards Y/N with the same smile his brothers had, except his didn’t make her want to wring his neck. “He’s always talked too much, I can asure you that. What makes you clearly an unwilling acquaintance of his?” 
The grin on her face feels like it’s taking up the entire room. Already, Josh’s twin was leaps and bounds ahead of him in terms of how much she wanted to be around this person. She also liked his hair, it was long and pretty, maybe it needed a good shampoo and condition but it didn’t have a rat tail, which was the biggest plus in her book. When Josh had returned this school year without it, she had rejoiced but also been slightly dismayed that she hadn’t had the satisfaction of snipping it off herself. On several occasions, she remembered waking up with a triumphant smile after cutting it off in some of her more vivid dreams. She wasn’t completely sure if she could be trusted with scissors around Josh so maybe it was better in the end. 
“We’re the same major, unfortunately.” 
“Oh,” Jake’s voice holds deep understanding. “I’m sure that can be a lot. I used to help out on his films when we were in high school, so I know he’s…passionate.” 
She snorts and shakes her head, acknowledging what he had said before once again remembering she was working. “Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.” She casts her eyes around the room and sees that the four guys are all in the room. Josh had returned and was trying and failing to look like he wasn’t eavesdropping on her and Jake’s conversation. “Anyways, now that I know you’re all here, I can leave you be. Just let me know if there’s anything you need before your set. The techs will come in around,” She pauses looking at her watch. “7:00 to have y’all go set up and go over that kind of stuff. You need to be out on that stage at 8, no if’s, and’s or but’s. Also, if you do get the recurring slot, I’d love to help y’all with styling if you’d be interested since that’s more my expertise.”
She hears Josh snort at her last sentence but she pointedly ignores it, only looking at the other three band members. 
“How do we find you if we need something?” Sam asks, settling into the darkest brown leather couch like a lanky puppy, all limbs and no idea how to control them gracefully.  
“I, uh,” She stops, realizing she normally handed out her phone number since she hated the radios they were supposed to use. For some reason, giving her number to Josh’s band made her uneasy and then she remembered with a sigh. “Josh has my number from previous group projects, assuming he knows how to use his phone he should be able to give it to you.” 
“What’s your number again?” 
“You don’t have me saved?” She’s exasperated to say the least and a little offended otherwise. They had quite literally been paired in a duo group project their first week of college, two years ago. If he hadn’t saved her number after all this time, she’s sure she would strangle him.
“I think I do,” He looks down at his phone, scrolling through something, “just double checking something.” 
“Give me your phone,” She rolls her eyes and places the palm of her hand out waiting for the weight of Josh’s phone to be felt. She types in her number into the search bar of his contacts. The names dwindle until only ‘August’ pops up. She finishes typing the entire number and the name ‘August’ is still staring back at her on the screen. She looks between the phone and Josh a few times before clicking the name and verifying that it was her phone number. 
“Why the fuck do you have me as ‘August’ in your phone?” 
Josh grins triumphant and satisfied. When she glares at him, he shrugs and plucks the phone back from her grasp. “We met in August, I didn’t remember your name from class and I didn’t bother to ask. By the time I knew it, I couldn’t be bothered to change it.”
“You can’t be serious?” 
“Is Lover better or worse than August? Because I’m willing to change it to that,” He continues looking at her with that wolfish look in his eye. 
“I fucking hate you.” She says with a shake of her head before addressing the rest of the room again. “Well, if any of you three need me, don’t hesitate to find me down the hall or get my number from the gremlin that fronts your band and shoot me a text. Josh, do not bother me.” 
“Only in my dreams, I know, lover.” Josh mimics being shot by an arrow in his heart and stumbles back before winking evilly at her. 
“Right,” She sighs heavily and tries to smile lightly at the other three who offer her sympathetic smiles back. “I’ll be back at 7:45 if no one needs me before then.” 
A chorus of thanks follows her out the door and she ignores Josh’s voice again as she goes. It’s pitched up and honeyed sweet and it makes her sick. 
That was the first night. They had been good. Josh’s voice was surprisingly amazing and the rest of them were talented with their instruments. Jake was especially good on the guitar. She tried to focus on the instruments rather than Josh’s voice but it was almost impossible to listen to just one piece of their music, they all complemented each other so well. Even Josh’s voice didn’t overpower but finished the rest of the music being made. 
They had also been clean and on time. Two things her manager liked even more than a good sounding band that amassed a crowd was a good sounding band that didn’t require a lot of assistance or cleaning up after. Greta Van Fleet secured the recurring Thursday night gig at Lover’s Inn. Which ensured that she got to endure more Josh Kiszka in her life than ever before. 
They would fight in class and bicker during group projects that they got paired for and then to end her week just perfectly, she’d have Josh at her place of work, continuing to push her buttons and attempting to boss her around. 
He delighted in calling her ‘Lover’ and being a nuisance when she was trying to help one of his bandmates. He always had issues with the vests and belts she found for him, despite them being exactly what he asked for, if not better. And he always, always had that stupid smug smirk on his face when he was around her. 
In the middle of the semester, the film and visual arts third years were assigned a very intensive project. It could be alone or in groups but you had to do it all if you did it alone. As luck would have it or maybe it was just a cruel joke being played on her by the rest of the department, she and Josh were the only two not paired up who didn’t want to work alone. She contemplated doing it all on her own, but she knew she wasn’t the strongest writer and with the rest of her classes and the Lover’s Inn gig keeping her busy, she had to swallow her pride. Bite the bullet that was Josh Kiszka now entering another part of her life: her life away from both school and work. 
They had looked at one another with dismay in their eyes. Even Josh couldn’t spin this as a way to torture her, this was genuinely not his ideal scenario for an important project either. They departed class on Wednesday with a sighing compromise that they would talk about it after the gig on Thursday. 
On Thursday, Josh arrived first out of his band mates to the green room. She was there, finishing up unloading the grocery bags and double checking the cleanliness of the room. Even if Josh was a pain in her ass, she didn’t let her negative feelings for him change how she did her job. 
“Well if it isn’t my number one fan, lover!” Josh greets, resting his backpack at the edge of the couch closest to the side stage door. 
She sighed. She rejoiced on the Thursdays when it was one of the others to stroll through the door first, so that she wouldn’t have to be alone with Josh anymore for the week. Bringing herself to face him was hard, she had already seen enough of him this week and after the big announcement in class yesterday, she really could do without hearing his voice. 
“I know you’ve probably heard this a lot before, so you should understand when I say ‘not in the mood’.” 
“Oh lover, you wound me,” He gives her moon eyes before he rolls his eyes and walks around the room, continuing to place his stuff where he liked. The band had been working here for two months now and each of them had gotten into a groove. They had their spots and corners that they liked to chill in until it was time to get to work. 
“Do you want your clothes or not?” She leans into her hip as she stares at him expectantly, waiting for him to stop messing around with the throw blanket’s tassels. 
“I’d certainly go out and perform naked, I’m sure lots of people would thank you for your brilliant idea. Me in my true glory.” 
She scoffs and crosses to her tote bag, dropped by the entrance. She shuffles through it for Josh’s new vest and the belt she found that matched it perfectly. The vest was tan with gold embellishments and looked like it would fit his small frame. The belt was also encrusted with gold broqaue and turquoise stones with a loud engraved buckle to finish it off. 
With the pieces in hand, she crossed to his seat on the couch. Josh had his legs spread in a way that required her to stand between them or else she would have to lean awkwardly forward to give the clothes to him. She hated even the way he sat, making her life harder. He reclined back on the couch with his arms over the back of it, the light blue ratty t-shirt he wore stretched and strained over his biceps the way he was sitting. Her eye flickered to it for a split second in mild surprise, obviously he showed them off in the vests, but they seemed to bulge in their current state. 
“Lay it on me, lover,” He grins lazily up at her, one hand flipping up right and motioning for her to give it to him. 
She shakes her head at him and drops them carelessly on his lap. The belt was heavy enough for him to make a groaning sound. Normally she would walk out of the room at this point, just to get a little bit of time away from Josh. The rest of the band was reliable and she knew they’d all have arrived in the next ten minutes. However, something about Josh’s demeanor made her pause. It was something in the way his eyes looked. 
Normally they were wide and bright with evil intentions. Today they still looked mischievous but a little more droopy, his movements a little less agile. She stares at his face, searching for the answer and noticing the way he just lets her. 
“Finally decided you want some of this action, lover?” Josh mumbles, eyes fluttering closed as he lays his head back against the couch. “Stopped denying your true feelings…” 
She crouches down to be on the same level as Josh, her face getting close to his as she inspects him closely. One of her hands goes to his eyelid, as she leans over him, opening his eye manually. 
“Are you fucking stoned, right now?” 
He swats her hand away from him and sits back up, pushing her back so that she’s still crouched between his legs. His face looms above hers, the lazy grin still visible on his face, as she stares up at him. Their faces are an inch apart and the space is hot in the already warm room. Her eyes widened expectantly. 
“Shh, don’t tell August, she’ll yell at me.” 
“I am…” She pauses, realizing Josh was still fucking with her. She puts a hand to his chest and pushes him back against the couch, causing laughter to bubble from his lips. “Fuck you, Josh.” She states, standing up again and stalking out of the room with a final. “Weed better not fuck up your singing, asshole.” 
“Thanks for the vest, lover!” 
Besides strutting around the stage a bit more sluttily and carrying notes just a tad bit longer than necessary, high Josh functioned about the same as regular Josh. After the show, the band loaded up their gear once more in the back of Danny’s van that they lovingly all called the Greta Van. Normally, Josh would hitch a ride home with him and Sam or hang around the front of house getting sloshed with his twin. Tonight, he begrudgingly sulked around the green room, informing his brothers that he ‘had a meeting with the bosslady.’ 
August had overheard it and rolled her eyes. “We’re unfortunately partnered for an extremely important project. I’m worried I made the wrong choice and should’ve just gone it alone.” 
She grimaced as Jake wished her luck while Sammy and Dan gave her sympathetic gazes, mumbling their condolences. 
“It can only be as bad as we make it, lover.” Josh huffed, resuming his seat from earlier on the larger of the leather couches. 
“Are you sober enough for us to begin planning now?” She glared and folded a leg behind her to take a seat on the far end of the same couch. 
Josh scoffed with a flip of his hand. “Oh c’mon it was just a couple bowls before going on to perform art.” Josh trailed off, mumbling as he stared around the room. 
“Repeat that?” She urged. 
“It’s not like it was the first time,” He repeated louder but still softly. 
She groaned. “God, Josh.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “Y’know what? Fuck if I care. Let’s just get our plan laid out so we can go home.” 
Josh nodded curtly. Her eyes flickered to his face in surprise that he didn’t protest. 
“Okay,” She started, speaking cautiously. “I’ll obviously take the lead on costuming and you on writing, but we’ll need to collaborate on directing and creative direction. Do you have any ideas for stories you want to tell?” 
Josh hummed, head falling to the back of the couch in contemplation. “Cults, a modern Greek tragedy, a bar comedy –we could set it right here, erh star-crossed lovers? What about you or are you just gonna keep all your ideas to yourself?” 
“I was waiting to see if you had any worthwhile ideas.” She shrugged, scribbling something down on a notepad Josh hadn’t seen her produce. “The modern take on a Greek tragedy could be interesting…” 
“I also was thinking about something similar with a modern take on a classic film like ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ or something to that extent. I like the idea of a post-college existential crisis coming of age female lead type story but I doubt you’d care for that.” 
“No, no, no,” Josh sat up straight. “Don’t put your assumed misogyny on me! I’d love to do a female lead coming of age post-college existential crisis story! How dare you?” 
She smiled at her page and then up at Josh. “My mistake.” 
Their eyes met and the room felt eerily quiet with both of their mouths shut for once. The dingy yellow lights bathed the room in a homey glow. The worn leather was warm beneath their skin, inviting them to settle in. 
Then simultaneously, they said: “Modern take of a Greek tragedy that is a coming of age post-college female lead story!” 
“Fuck yes!” Y/N rose onto her knees in excitment as Josh’s entire face lit up, leaning forward in excitement.
“Let’s fucking go!” 
They laughed and high fived, feeling an unexpected and unknown emotion of shared understanding and initial accomplishment. They talked plot, characters and logline, the main bones of the project they needed to get started on and split up what each of them would flesh out for their next meeting. It was decided that it would be best to meet after class on Wednesdays rather than Thursdays after shows just so that they didn’t have to hang around Lover’s Inn when it was just the locals in the front of the house and so that Jake didn’t get too lonely when he wanted to drink himself under the bar. 
Josh felt a weird inclination to walk her to her car that night. He knew which car was hers, he always looked for it in the parking lot when he would pull up on Thursdays – a 90s classic black Volvo sedan with a dreamcatcher hanging on the rearview mirror. 
She had regarded Josh oddly when he insisted on walking her over to the car even though the parking lot was empty with plenty of light. Then she noticed again that the lot was empty beside her car and the bartender’s, who was still working. 
“Where’s your car?” 
Josh kicked at a pebble with his sneaker and shrugged his shoulders with his hands stuffed in his khakis pockets. 
She frowned remembering his high state earlier today. At least he was somewhat responsible, but with no foresight. “Did you want a ride?” 
“Nah.” He shook his head vehemently. “I walked in, I can walk out.” 
“Yeah,” She agreed. “But it’s dark out now.”
“It was dark out earlier.” He reasoned with his usual smirk trying to win his way out of this one. 
“Not this dark, not this cold,” She insisted, pushing his shoulder to move towards the passenger’s side door. “And not this late. Get in.” 
In the small interior of the Volvo, Josh took his hands out of his pockets and rubbed them together as she cranked the heat and shivered herself before getting her music playing. 
“Thanks,” Josh whispered, grateful. 
“Can’t have you dying on me,” She replied. As she pulled out of the parking lot, she was focused on backing up carefully, twisting around and switching gears, and she barely noticed when she finished her sentence under her breath. “For so many reasons.” 
In the dark of the car, lit only by the moon and streetlamps around, Josh watched her uninterrupted. She sang under the music she had chosen for the drive. A CD that had already been in the reader of Radiohead. 
Josh listened along to the dulcet melancholy voice of Thom Yorke. He likes how she knew all the words but paused every so often to look to Josh for directions.
“Nice house,” she said, turning down the stereo when they arrived. 
Josh shrugged, turning his head from her to the classic Michigan two-story with its basic driveway and porch. Dark wood everywhere and an old tree in the front yard. There were warm lights coming from a few windows in the house and it looked like a home.
“It’s fine. Jake, Sammy and I rent it from a family friend so it’s a good deal.”
“That’s nice.” She feels awkward, making small talk with Josh. 
It’s the antithesis of their usual relationship of bickering and jabbing and avoiding. It’s soft and casual. Warm and inviting in the familiar seats of her car, with her music. Josh kind of seemed at peace in her car. It was unusual, regarding him looking so quiet and calm. 
“Alright.” She breaks the silence.
Josh takes the cue, blinking out of whatever trance was keeping him from taking his leave from her car and getting into his house for the night. 
“Night,” he speaks softly. “Thanks for the ride…and, uh, see you Monday, I guess.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, watching him get out of the car, carefully taking his bag and his new vest and belt into his arms.
She waits for him to get inside before driving off. Still unsure of the feeling in her stomach, she blasts the Radiohead a little louder to drown out her speculations. 
-
By the end of November, they were almost through with the filming portion of their project. Yet it was time for a relatively complicated scene. Well, it shouldn’t have been complicated if the weather had been right but unfortunately they were venturing into true winter in Michigan. 
Josh and Y/N had settled on the tragedy of Hippolytus after attempting the tragedy of Medea but deciding it was too overdone — how many stories of a woman scorned by a man leaving her could we want? Instead, the twist of Hippolytus in the 21st century would allow for an interesting female lead whose story didn’t start because of a man. 
Instead, like Hippolytus, their lead had decided against sex and relationships during college. Josh and Y/N had worried about making it purity porn but decided that they would balance the true story with modernity enough that it would work. 
In the Greek tragedy, the woman interested in Hippolytus killed herself after being rejected by him, however that was another place they would depart. Instead, the counter to the lead would be hurt randomly and there would be a need for the lead to help them. This leads her to pursue psychology and therapy—medicine felt too cliche. But she knew she wanted to help people. Their bond eventually grows to love even though it’s not what she intended. However, both the therapy and the relationship help her find meaning to life, bringing her out of the existential crisis that started the story.
So they were filming the scene where the counter, James, was meant to get hurt. The short film was going to be narrated by a modern Aphrodite so some silliness was injected into it. She was interfering with the lead, Hyacinth, in hopes to persuade her to fall into bed with someone. 
James lived next door and was washing his car, shirtless, when Hyacinth walked out her front door, about to go to gym—another one of her ideas of how to find purpose in life, pushing her body until it had no energy to think. Jason was meant to have gotten soap all over him from leaning across the hood of the car, like a male fantasy but reversed, and then point the hose towards him and wash it all off sexily. Of course, the student they had cast, weirdly also named James, was attractive but he was an angel and an ex-theater kid, so he couldn’t quite get it right and he was beginning to shiver even though they had the water as warm as possible and were covering him up between every take.
Josh was attempting to hold back laughter but after the third bad take, Y/N yelled ‘cut’ and walked into the scene.
“James, here hand me the handle,” she said. 
Taking hold of the metal length at the end of hose that was turned off, she began to instruct James to do exactly what she was showing him. She turned it towards her and held it above her chest with her head tilted back, eyes closed. She sighed for a moment and then briefly moved up as if the water were hitting her face and then ran her free hand against her cheek, allowing her lips to open further and then ran the same hand down the front of her neck, down her chest and her stomach, brushing to the side just as she got to the top of her thighs.
James watched carefully, not phased by the directing. Josh gawked. His eyes almost bugged out of his head watching her and wondering if just maybe that’s what she looked like in a shower. Her soft hands would be running over her soft naked skin instead of her warm winter sweater and jeans, but still. He could imagine. The sudsy soap and bare skin touching the cool tiles and warm water. Fuck. He needed her to never do that again ever. 
The last month he had seen more of Y/N than he had ever thought possible. Except now, he looked forward to it without pretending it was because he wanted to bug her. Josh wanted to know what she was thinking about every aspect of their project and he wanted to hear about her weekend and he wanted to kiss her against the walls in the green room when his brothers weren’t there. He didn’t act on the third thing, but he wanted to.
“Josh?” She raised an eyebrow, still holding the hose above her chest. “Josh?” She repeated.
He blinked. “Huh?”
“I asked if you agreed? Does that fit with an Aphrodite induced sexy car wash scene you imagined?”
He smiled weakly and she tilted her head in silent worry. Hopefully Josh wasn’t getting sick.
Of course it is, doesn’t even need a Greek god to intervene and make it hotter, she just was. 
“Yeah, yep, fantastic,” Josh rushed. “James, you got it? We’re losing light.”
A cloud was rolling in from the east and Josh knew that if they didn’t finish soon they might get rained out.
James nodded and they ran the scene again. The actor nailed it and after Josh yelled cut, Y/N squealed in accomplishment. They high fived and Josh’s eyes linked on the side of her neck where her fingers had brushed as she had caressed herself minutes ago—professionally. 
After that, they wrapped for the day, Josh still concerned about the rain, sending the actors and helpers home. Y/N hung around to help Josh bring his equipment back into his house. They were using the front of it for the scene. On their last trip to grab things from the street, thankfully all non-electronic, the beginning of what would be a long rainstorm began in full force.
This time it was Josh to shriek and Y/N laughed as they ran under the awning of the porch after grabbing everything left as quickly and carefully as possible. It didn’t matter, they were pretty drenched.
She tried to catch her breath from running and laughing while Josh felt his hair with a look of dismay. 
“You know you’re stuck here,” Josh grumbled, looking out at the pouring rain. He hated the way she seemed to enjoy his displeasure at being wet. 
“As long as you’ve got a spare change of clothes, a hot shower and a gas stove in case the power goes out, I’m fine.” She shrugs, pushing the screen door open and putting her half of Josh’s stuff on the entryway bench. 
Josh followed behind with his binder and a few rain-ruined scripts.  
“Anyone else home?” She wanders through the hall to the living room, peeling off her sweater and leaving her boots by the wall. 
Josh shakes his head, “Probably not, it pisses Jake off when I film at the house and Sam usually goes to Danny’s on the weekend.”
She inspects her jeans and t-shirt before looking at Josh. “I want to shower now, can you find me clothes and put them in the bathroom before I get out?”
“Who made you queen?”
“This isn’t Lover’s Inn, I’m not on the clock and I’m your guest who’s trapped here…feel like you’re supposed to dote on me.” 
Josh rolled his eyes, feeling the memory of their feud flickering like an ember in the pit of his stomach. He wants to tease her, say something biting to turn the tables on her. But she was right, they weren’t in any of the situations they were usually in with one another. More uncharted territory. 
“You’re annoying,” he offered lamely. 
She chuckled and pushed at his shoulder lightly as he passed, assuredly showing her to the bathroom. “Try harder, lover.”
Josh scoffed without turning his head around, but the feeling in his stomach grew as he heard her feet padding behind him. The rain was loud on the tall roof, fast and foreboding. It might’ve been adding to Josh’s unease. 
At the end of this new hallway, there were three doors. One to a bedroom, Josh’s, a closet and the bathroom. He opened the closet to grab fresh towels he kept for when he didn’t want to do laundry that week and walked them into the bathroom.
It was surprisingly clean but Josh had his own bathroom, forcing Jake and Sam to share the other one, claiming he was the oldest so he got the most privacy. 
She smiled at the tub. “Should I have a soak instead? Do you have any good wine?”
“This is not a fucking hotel,” Josh laughed. He handed her the towels and she gave him a pointed look. “But I’ll open a bottle.”
“Good boy,” She continued to smirk. “Maybe I’ll leave a nice tip.” 
Josh pinkened slightly. She’d never been like this before. He felt like he was falling into some world where Aphrodite really was fucking with his life. 
15 minutes later, Josh returned to the bathroom where Y/N was showering and pushed the door open. She had music playing but he could hear the water still running. 
He walked in and placed the sweatshirt and clean boxers on the counter. Her wet clothes were in a puddle on the floor beside the shower mat and he swallowed. A pretty pink lace thong and a black lacy bra laid atop her top and jeans. He took a breath and went to head for the door, turning away from the clothes. But Y/N’s own breath caught his attention. 
Her grunge 90s music was playing from her phone but she was breathing hard and Josh stopped short. His eyes shot to the shower curtain. The place he had been avoiding with all his power. It was sheer. Her silhouette was hard to see but it looked like it was writhing. He saw one of her hands slipping around her chest and he bit his lip. She was certainly squeezing her tits and she was breathing hard and he couldn’t see her other hand.
He put his own hand to his mouth to stop any shocked sounds slipping out. She must have forgotten that he was coming back. When he saw her silhouette drop to the floor of the tub, Josh snapped out of his trance.
He grabbed the clothes and slipped out the door, closing it as quietly as possible just as he heard a breathy ‘fuck’ he would dream about for weeks. 
“Shit,” he whispered to himself. Letting his head fall against the now closed door, he took a deep centering breath before knocking loudly. “I’m leaving your clothes out here, kay? Gonna open that wine.”
Her voice was normal in response and Josh was wondering if he had just hallucinated. Had he accidentally taken a gummy and forgotten. Seemed unlikely since he usually wouldn’t when he was working on film stuff. 
“Sounds good! Thanks, Josh!” 
Josh tried to be normal when she came into his room in his clothes, rubbing his towel through her wet hair. He’d left the wine and two mismatched glasses on his bedside table. He mumbled that she could start without him as he passed her to jump in the shower himself.
On the fogged main mirror, she had written, “don’t work when it’s about to rain!” 
Josh smiled to himself and stripped down out of his clothes that were still uncomfortably wet. His shower was much quicker and much colder. He couldn’t allow himself to be in there for very long or else he would’ve started to fantasize about what he was certain had just happened in here. 
In his room, Y/N sat on his bed, taking large sips of the red wine Josh had found. She was nervous. Something about this storm was making her uneasy. The scene they had shot had done something to her. Everytime she looked at Josh, she swore he was eyefucking her and that made her feel strange. Extremely turned on. She had thought dealing with it in the shower would’ve solved it but the minute she walked out and saw Josh looking so sullen, still in his rain-soaked clothes sans his jacket, waiting for her to get out, she felt wet again. If anything, the quick wank had made it worse. Already slick and wanting, she wasn’t sure if she could handle being around just Josh for the night. 
Now that they were friends, she couldn’t deny how attractive he was. God, it made her roll her eyes. He was talented and attractive and she was sitting in his bed, drinking his wine in his comfy clothes all at her request. 
If it couldn’t get any worse, Josh walked into his room with his towel hanging around his hips and his chest speckled with droplets coming down from his hair. 
“Didn’t have time to dry off?” She tilted her head, trying to sound casual. Unbothered when she was fully, terribly, bothered. 
Josh shook his head, making more droplets fly around the room. “Forgot my own clothes.” He shuffled through his myriad of t-shirts and grabbed a gray one with a Buddhist symbol and black sweatpants. 
“You sound like you need a drink,” she tried. 
“Yes,” Josh sighed as if he was coming out of a desert with no water. He held his hand out and she quickly poured the second glass and placed it in his waiting hand.
Their fingers brushed and both of them pulled back as if they’d been burned. She met Josh’s widened, brown eyes looking dark in his navy room that was shadowed by the storm and his one yellow lamp. He clutched carefully to his towel and the clothes under his arm with the wine in his other hand, taking a long sip as he turned on his heel and returned to the bathroom. 
She let her head hit the headboard of Josh’s bed. What the fuck was going on? She took another sip of her wine and then refilled the glass up high. 
When Josh returned clothed, he sat on the foot of the bed and she silently refilled his glass when she saw it was already empty. 
“So…what do you want to do?” She tries while folding her legs up under her chin. 
Josh’s eyes flicker to the movement and get stuck on her legs for a moment before returning to her face. 
“Movie?”
She shrugs, looking around his room for a television. “I don’t want to sit in your living room, your couch looks uncomfortable.”
“That’s where you’re sleeping if you can’t get home tonight,” Josh scoffs. 
She arches an eyebrow and takes a sip of her wine. “I’ll sleep in Jake’s bed, he won’t mind.”
“No.” Josh stated flatly.
Her eyes turn back to him, cautiously. “Why not?” 
“It’s weird.”
“No it’s not.” She sounds annoyed, placing her wine down and picking up her phone. “I’ll just text him and ask.” 
The text sends and she smirks at Josh pointedly. Shortly after, a loud crash of thunder signals the power leaving for the rest of the storm and with it, the phone signals. 
Josh smirks triumphantly over his glass when Y/N throws her phone dejectedly on the side table too, while he flicks on his battery powered lamp he had grabbed earlier as a precaution. 
“Couch it is.”
She lays sideways along the top of Josh’s bed and hums, raising her hands above her head, allowing the bottom of the sweater to lift and expose her stomach. Feeling perfectly buzzed from the wine, she sighs, “I don’t know, this feels pretty comfy and I’m already settled. Maybe you should sleep on the couch since you love it so much.” 
Josh watched her body extending across his bed and simultaneously wanted her there forever and to throw her out. 
“Absolutely not. This is my house.”
“And I’m the guest,” she repeats. “C’mon lover, don’t be mean.” 
“You’ve never seen mean,” Josh rolls his eyes and finishes his wine, laying it with hers on the table.
She laughs, outrageously loud. “You’re a lot of things, Josh. But I don’t think you’ve got a truly mean bone in your body or however that cliche goes. Evil sure, but that’s different.” 
She hasn’t bothered to sit up and she’s enjoying the tone of voice Josh is slipping into and everything feels quite nice and warm. So warm. She shuts her eyes. 
“No, no,” Josh hurries, moving himself so that he is closer to her. He pats her cheek lightly. “No falling asleep in my bed. Not allowed.”
“But I’m so comfy and cozy,” She croons, blinking her eyes back open. The smirk on her face gives her away. 
“C’mon.” Josh takes her shoulders to push her upright. “Sit up.”
She laughs, but it dies out, recognizing the proximity of Josh’s face to hers. How his body is hovering over hers. How warm she is. “Fuck,” she whispers, staring at his lips, slightly stained from the wine.
“What?” Josh whispers back, realizing the same things as her. How soft the smallest bit of her skin is against his finger that’s on her shoulder, slipping along the collar of the sweater. 
“Your lips are red,” she states. 
Josh grins and lets his head fall between them with a laugh. “So are yours.”
He looks back at her and remembers the way she sounded in the bathroom. All the years he’d known her. All their fights. And how they weren’t really fighting anymore. How he teased her at Lover’s Inn and how good she’d been as his partner this last month and a half. 
“What are we going to do with no power, August,” Josh whispered, already inching his face closer to hers. 
She smiled and let her hands reach up to cup his face and neck. “Read the Bible by candlelight?” She whispered back as Josh’s nose nudged against hers.
He breathed a laugh across her lips and her breath caught in her throat when he finally attached his lips to hers. They kissed softly, just taking it in. Josh shifted them into a more comfortable position, one leg slotting between hers, while the other supported him so his torso wasn’t fully on her. 
She whimpered immediately at the pressure and Josh smirked. He pressed harder, licking into her mouth. 
She gasped when Josh began to kiss her neck and he spoke against her neck in between sucking against the skin. “I heard you.” 
“W-what?” She was staring at the ceiling while she ran one hand against his shoulder and the other through his hair. 
“I. Heard. You.” Josh repeated, allowing one of his hands to run under the sweater up towards her breast and she whimpered again. “Fuck,” he loved the way she sounded. “In the shower, lover.” 
Her eyes shot wider, the haze of Josh’s lavishing touch disappeared with shame. “You did?”
Josh pulled back with a lazy grin, still playing with one of her nipples under her shirt and pecks her lips quickly. 
“Yeah you fuckin’ told me to bring your clothes in because you’re a princess apparently and then you were in there getting off when I walked in.” 
She felt embarrassed but remembered what was likely about to happen so it didn’t really matter. “Oh…I tried to deal with it quietly. I was just really turned on for some reason.” 
Josh scoffed and retreated his hand from under her sweater. “C’mon,” he gestured to the sweater. 
They were still acting like film partners through this interaction. Or at least how they acted. Talking casually while in the beginning of a sexual encounter. 
She took it off and threw it to the ground while staring pointedly at Josh’s shirt. He followed suit before kissing her again. His chest looked so soft and warm, she wanted to be wrapped up in him.
“First, I almost had a heart attack at the sight of your thong and then I turned to leave and you’re in there playing with this thing.” He pauses his words, slipping his hand inside the boxers she was wearing, cupping her pussy. 
She whines, extending her neck to kiss Josh’s. Feeling the need to touch more of him. He grins down at her again and kisses the space between her tits. 
His hand rubbed ever so slightly over her mound without actually doing anything, but she felt the slightest friction and the pooling of her wetness. She grabbed at one of her tits. 
“The curtain’s not opaque, August,” he continues and she groans at the nickname at a time like this. His middle finger slipped lower, hovering over her slit. He looked her in the eyes again. “I saw you writhing around your own little fingers. What’s it gonna look like when it’s mine your pretty pussy is wrapped around?”
She moaned at his words, throwing her head back against the pillows. 
“Is it pretty? I bet it’s pretty.” Josh continued his special version of torture. She could feel his fingers but they weren’t doing anything she wanted them to. Every so often he planted a kiss on her torso. Of course he liked to tease by talking forever and ever. 
“Take off the boxers and find out,” She tries not to sound impatient. 
“Great idea!” Josh patronizes, slipping his hand out of the boxers completely and moving to take off the boxers.
She huffs. 
“Don’t act spoiled,” Josh admonishes, returning his hand back to where it was while his other cups her face, forcing her to look him in the eyes again. He looks like an angel like this but so sure of himself. She’s amazed and completely at his will. “I know she already got to cum once under this roof.” He tsked, tapping his middle finger against her entrance. It was the lightest pat but she was so wet that Josh’s finger got a little of her slick nonetheless.
She moaned at the change in sensation, her hips dipping down in some instinctual attempt at getting him to slip inside. 
“God, you are needy.” He removed his hands again and laughed when she huffed again. Both hands moved to her knees and pushed them to be bent and then apart, moving his body between them. His hands then went to her breasts, squeezing them and pinching tenderly at her nipples. Her hips bucked again and Josh kissed her again. “It’s gonna feel so good when I finally touch you where you want,” He offered, kissing her sweetly. 
Pulling away he began to suck on her chest, continuing his monologue. “You were holding this perfect tit in one hand and rubbing your wet pussy with the other, right?”
She nodded when he looked to her for a response. 
“I left when I saw you drop to your knees like some cock hungry whore…” Coming from someone else it would’ve sounded cruel, but from Josh’s lips it was the softest sweetest accusation in the world. His voice was honey and it only made her want him more. Maybe she was a cock hungry whore, for Josh. 
Josh’s right hand returns to her pussy, cupping it like before and she’s sure she’s about to leak onto his palm. 
“You’re leaking, princess,” Josh informs her, confirming her suspicion. “Do you like me talking mean to you? Why’d you drop to your knees in my bathroom, August? C’mon you can tell me.”
“I,” She starts. Josh chooses then to slip the tip of his finger inside of her. 
“Yes?”
“I was about to c-cum and you have that, fucking, detachable showerhead…”
Josh thrust his finger fully inside her and she moaned, relieved but not much better. Now she felt herself quickly working up to another orgasm. He thrust his finger carefully, thinking over his response while trying to hold himself together now that he’d felt how warm and tight she was inside. 
“Used my showerhead to get off in my shower. Touching these pretty tits, riding your own hand and now you’re laid out all perfect for me.” He added a finger and her hips began to move with his movements. “You are a little slut, aren’t you?”
She hums in agreement, one hand hanging onto Josh’s neck and another gripping her tit like her life depended on it. 
“And you’re gonna cum again already? Fuck,” Josh sounded amazed. In awe of how sexy Y/N was, how willing and lovely she was, how she was perfect for him. “Go on.”
She came immediately, having held off for so long, trying to hold it for Josh despite how much he’d teased her. 
After she rode it out, Josh removed his fingers and gave them a lick. Humming his satisfaction. She breathed heavily watching him, but wanting more. Seeing from the bulge in Josh’s sweatpants she knew he wanted more as well. 
“Fuck me, Josh.” She sat up on her elbows beckoning him closer. 
“Did you forget who’s in charge?” He laughed, but it was soft. They were still themselves. 
She widened her legs and pouted, dropping her hand to her pussy, carefully circling her puffy clit. 
“Need it, Josh.” She rocked her hips. “I think you need it too.” She hummed, looking pointedly at his straining cock.
Josh shook his head and crawled over her again, pushing her hand away from her clit. She took up the job of pushing down his sweatpants and boxers simultaneously. 
“Next time, I wanna see you dropping to your knees like the cockslut we now know you are.” Josh breaths, losing track of his train of thought with the feel of her soft hand gripping the base of him gently. 
“Next time could be later tonight…” She whispered back, connecting their lips again. “Or tomorrow.”
Josh groans, at her words and the feeling of her slipping the head of his cock through her slick. He resisted pressing in immediately, feeling her rubbing it back and forth from her entrance to her needy clit. He bit her lip and she moaned. 
“I would’ve fucked you months ago if I knew that getting you wet was all it took to make you all sweet and nice.” He grunted. 
His hips thrusting on their own accord caused his head to slip against her clit in a way that made her moan loudly. She tightened her grip on his cock and Josh’s hips moved back.
“I wouldn’t be rude to the girl who’s about to let you hit, lover.” 
She nudged Josh’s head into her entrance and they sighed in tandem. Her hands went up to his shoulders from under his arms. Josh dropped his face into her neck, overwhelmed by the warmth and softness. They began moving at a steady clip. Her legs wrapped around Josh until he started thrusting harder and faster. 
“Fuck,” she whined. “That feels so fucking good. Don’t stop.”
Josh had begun to sweat. He shifted one of her legs to balance one of his hands and then moved his other to the headboard and she moaned loudly adoring the stretch.
“‘M close,” He strained. His eyes were constantly shifting between her bouncing tits, his cock disappearing in her and her face and the expressions she was making. “You’re so wet.”
“Cum,” she breathed. Her fingers slipped down to her clit again, rubbing furiously. 
Her walls tightened at the added stimulation and Josh was cumming. Hot and sticky inside her. He panted hard, collapsing on her with a wet kiss against her mouth. His cock had made even more of a mess of her, leaking out of her full, throbbing cunt. 
Josh watched it. Entranced as he pulled out once more and twitched when Y/N moaned at the sensation, her eyes shut in pleasure. 
“I’ll clean you up,” Josh nodded to himself before disappearing. 
Less than 10 minutes later, the pair were cleaned up and wrapped up with water in Josh’s bed. Side by side. 
-
They saw each other in class on Monday and Wednesday after their shoot and impromptu sleepover on Saturday that had run into Sunday, but they acted like nothing had happened. Or like it was completely normal. Which they both liked. They had been cordial upon waking up wrapped around each other on Sunday morning, but Y/N had made a quick exit, citing a myriad of reasons why she needed to go home now that the storm had passed. She even declined coffee. 
It was Thursday, at Lover’s Inn, when the events of Saturday night became hard to ignore. 
Josh didn’t show up first which she was grateful for. Jake sauntered in with his guitar case, his small but impressive pedal board and a few wrapped up cords over his shoulder. She smiled and they exchanged pleasantries as she shuffled around their table. Everything was ready, but she couldn’t stop herself from reorganizing things. 
“Do you need a beer?” Jake asks after a tense 10 minutes of silence. 
She laughs and flips around from the table, slumping against it. “Honestly, yeah.” 
Jake lifts his mouth into a half-smile, nodding to the table. “You can have one of mine and I’ll steal one of my brothers.” 
“How chivalrous,” She smiles, disarmed by Jake’s nature. She grabs two beers and the bottle opener from the table before crossing to him and handing over one beer to him, followed by the opener. 
They click the necks together and take an appreciative sip. 
“What’s got you flustered?” Jake asks. 
“I don’t know,” She sighs, rubbing at her forehead, knowing exactly why. 
Sam, Danny and Josh file through the side door while Y/N attempts to come up with a reason for her to be stressed. Jake watches her carefully, but her eyes immediately shoot to the sound of the door opening and their voices. 
Josh scans the scene of Jake and Y/N on the two couches, sipping on beers, alone. His nose flares momentarily before setting down his piece of the drum kit and saunters to the couch, sitting beside Jake. 
“Your turn,” Josh says, nodding to the door so that Jake will go help with the rest of their stuff. 
Jake rolls his eyes and takes another swig of his beer before huffily standing up and walking outside. Josh eyes Y/N sitting silently across from him and takes a swif from his brother’s beer. 
“I’m assuming he offered his share and then is planning to drink an extra of one of ours.” 
She chuckles nervously, eyes shifting away from Josh and around the room. “You guys know each other well.” 
“Brothers. Twins.” He shrugs, still watching her intently. 
She discards her half-empty beer and stands, bee-lining for her bag. “I’ve got new stuff for you guys.” 
Josh rolls his eyes, but feels a little bug of worry squirming in. The insecurity he had felt on Sunday had vanished with how normal they had been in class, but this made him feel like something was certainly off. 
“Here,” She places the vest and medallion necklace she’d found for Josh beside his head on the back of the couch. “And here’s this for you, Danny.” She turned from Josh before he could even thank her, handing Danny a tank style shirt she thought he’d like. Sam received a flowy floral button down while Jake got a fringe leather jacket that she had been searching for all semester for him. 
Jake beamed, his eyes shiny and his smile taking over his entire face. She smiled back at him, trying to fully feel the gratitude he was giving her. She watched as he tried it on and spread his arms in the mirror, admiring the movement. 
“This is going to be so fuckin’ sick,” He laughed, slightly in disbelief, touching over the jacket constantly. “I can’t thank you enough, Y/N.” 
She blushed a bit, feeling everyone’s eyes on her, especially Josh’s from his place on the couch. He was holding his vest in his lap, sullen that he had never thanked her so profusely for the things she found him. 
“It’s my dream job–and if you guys ever get famous, I’ll make you real stage outfits. However you want.” Jake’s giddy energy was overpowering her nerves. It felt great. 
The green room was a fun atmosphere for the rest of the hour leading up to their set. Josh pushed himself out of his pining and focused on the revelry. But before the band was about to go on, Josh hung back, leaving him alone with Y/N. 
She saw him stall at the door, his hand catching the frame. His vest was tan suede tonight, with silver pieces swirling into pockets on the front and creating a pattern across his back. He turned around and she paused, once more at the table, beginning to clean up wrappers. 
“I wanted to say thank you for all the vests and stuff you’ve found me this semester, August.” 
She watched Josh cross the room to her. “It’s nothing. Like I said, dream job.” 
Josh pressed closer and threaded his hand through her hair. His breath was warm against her skin. She finally met his eyes. 
“I miss you.” 
“You’ve seen me all week.” 
Josh’s forehead drops against hers, his free hand coming to her waist. It’s hot and firm and she feels the breath leave her lungs. Her body presses closer to him. 
“Not what I meant.” 
“Josh…” She wants to kiss him so bad. Wants him to kiss her. Her hands are grasping at his forearms in a way she hopes isn’t too desparate. “You’ve got a show to play.” 
His hand moves slowly from her waist across her stomach to the center of her jean skirt. His fingers fiddle with the button, slipping them below the waistband, feeling more fabric. 
“It’s a shame.” His breathing was heavy. His nose kept nudging hers. 
She licked her lips and swallowed. 
“Really wish you weren’t wearing tights,” He murmurs before pressing a hot kiss to her lips. 
Before she can really feel him against her, he’s pulling away and snapping the black lycra that he had wiggled his finger into against her skin. A sharp gasp sounds and he’s walking out the door to the stage, looking far too much like a rockstar than she’d like. After a few moments of attempting to collect herself, she leaves the trash to be dealt with later and follows Josh to see the start of the show. 
This show was electric. Everyone was playing their best. Jake was rocking with his guitar so much that the fringe flew around, making the crowd of college-aged women the band had amassed go wild. Josh was strutting around the stage, raising his arms as he hit notes and dancing with Jake every so often. 
Jake tried to convince the manager to let Sam and Danny into the front of house. ‘It’s not like they don’t have IDs that say they’re old enough,’ he reasoned conspiratorially. He was over the moon and he wanted everyone to celebrate since winter break was coming up and their show would be taking a rest for a while. Her manager relented, but Josh almost crushed his twin’s soul when he said he needed to go home to work on editing. 
Sam and Danny’s exuberance at being able to drink at the bar overpowered Jake’s protestations to Josh, leaving Y/N and Josh alone in the green room once more. He smirked with great satisfaction as he shrugged the vest from his shoulders and began to pull his t-shirt back over his head. 
“Where were we?” He saunters back over and she’s happy to see regular Josh instead of the rockstar Josh who had ambushed her earlier. 
Yet, she remembered him. And she remembered his performance tonight. How low his pants were slung around his hips. A pair of tight black vinyl pants she had found him about a month ago. His happy trail had meandered down to disappear beneath the fabric she had chosen for him. Now, he was straining against those pants and she shut her eyes, coming to terms with what she was about to do. 
“It’s your turn, Josh.” She meets him in the middle of the room, backing him up against the arm of the bigger leather couch. She caged him in for a moment, looking him up and down. Josh’s eyes were wide in surprise. “Sit on the couch.” 
He is a bit confused, but doesn’t argue, shuffling to sit down as quickly as possible. 
“Eager, huh?” 
“Now who’s being mean?” 
She grins and walks to stand in front of Josh, dropping to her knees with quiet ease and practice. Josh immediately throws his head back, sinking lower into the chair. 
“Oh my god.” 
“Didn’t want to leave you hanging,” She smiled. Running her hands over the tops of Josh’s vinyl clad thighs. “I could see it while you were on stage. At least,” She paused to chuckle. “More than usual.”
Josh sighed, eyes fluttering open to stare at her between his legs again. She was so beautiful even when she smiled at him so wickedly. 
“Want your cock in my mouth, Josh?” 
“Fuck, Y/N,” Josh couldn’t take the teasing of her hands and her words. 
“Just say ‘please’.” She stared at Josh seriously. Her hands toying with the button and zipper of his pants now, brushing just over his hardening length. 
“Please, please, fucking please.” He rushed out. 
She laughed and shook her head. “God, fine. Relax.” 
Her hands expertly unhooked the button and slid the zipper down with practiced hands of a costumer. This was far more explicit than any of the other times she had undressed someone. Josh’s cock was hot and heavy in her hand and her core ached at the memory of where it had been almost a week ago. She ran her tongue against it and Josh groaned. 
She lavished his head with a few kisses and looked up at Josh, beginning to suck on the side of it. “So pretty,” She murmurs. 
Josh’s hips bucked in response, his hand going to rest in her hair, but careful not to guide her. He wanted to see what she did. She gathered a pool of spit to let fall onto his thick cock before languidly running her hand over the length, hoping to tease him a little more. She hadn’t forgotten the treatment he gave her on Saturday. Josh’s hips bucked again and he groaned her name. 
Taking his head fully in between her lips, she took pity on him. Beginning her descent, she attempted to get him all in her throat but had about a handful left when he hit the back of her throat. She hummed around him and he jerked in her throat, causing her to fall back. She massaged her lips around the place where his head met the shaft before trying again. One hand on his thigh and one beneath his shirt, she bobbed her head slowly, suctioning occasionally until Josh was hissing about being close again. 
She pulled off him and smiled at him from her position. Her lips were wet with saliva and precum. Josh’s eyes were half closed in pleasure but he couldn’t believe the look on her face. Breathing heavy, flushed from taking him down her throat. Her hand moved along his length faster. 
“Tell me when,” She murmured, eyes moving from Josh’s face to her movements around him. 
Josh nodded, trying to stay still. Overwhelmed. “Now.” 
Her lips reattached to his head, sucking a little harder, while her hand still worked near the base. Josh’s hips bucked in time with the spurts that hit the back of her throat and she clenched around nothing, wishing more than anything that she was brave enough to attempt penetrative sex in public. 
She pulled off and swallowed, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth with a tired sigh. Josh’s satisfied smile watched her in awe, tucking himself away after a few moments of heavy panting. 
“Jesus Christ,” Josh breathed, petting at her hair before bringing her to kiss his lips. “Thank you. Wow. Just… so talented.”
“Josh Kiszka not having the right words,” She smiled against his lips. She pulled away and ruffled his hair. “I must be good.” 
Josh sputtered, jumping to his feet and following her to the side of the door where she was grabbing her coat and extra stuff. 
“Do you need a ride home again?” 
Josh scratched at the back of his neck. “Uh, I guess. Can’t really go out there and tell ‘em I need their keys when I was supposed to have left 20 minutes ago. Plus they’re probably expecting me to come pick them up eventually so I need my car for that.” 
“Josh,” She stopped his rambling. Her hand pressed flat against his upper chest, bringing his eyes to hers. “Relax. My jaw’s too tired to give you another stress relieving head session.” 
Josh shut up and nodded. She smiled, pleased with herself. They grabbed their stuff and headed for her Volvo after she locked the green room door. 
“Driving you home like you’re my little bitch,” She stated half-way through the drive she now knew without directions. 
“Shut up.” Josh sounded annoyed but really he was smiling, staring out at the passing streets. 
When they pull up to his house, Josh pauses. “Do you wanna come in?” 
“Can’t tonight. See you soon though.” 
She kisses his lips tenderly, cupping his strong jaw in a way neither of them had ever expected. 
-
Mid December and the semester was over. Their short film was a success. It was the last Thursday Greta Van Fleet would be performing at Lover’s Inn until the new year. Josh and Y/N hadn’t had time to talk about them with the rush of finals and getting the film in in time for screening. There had been stolen kisses during late final cut editing nights and in the empty hallways of the film building, but nothing else. 
Josh had arrived with Y/N, helping her set up so that she could be done early and they could have alone time before the rest of the band started to arrive. They were so excited to be done with everything, so pleased with themselves, that they were hurriedly making out against the snack table, unable to keep their hands off of one another a moment longer. 
So wrapped up in one another, exchanging words of teasing and searing lips against soft skin, they don’t hear Danny and Jake walking in.
With Y/N pressed against the table, Jake and Danny get an eyeful of her hands on Josh, one on his waist pulling him closer and the other grabbing at his right jean-clad ass cheek.
Danny whistling loudly and Jake clapping his hands together leisurely cause them to spring apart. Josh spins around, flushed and out of breath while Y/N adjusts the top of her shirt that Josh had pushed to the side for more access to her skin. 
“About time,” Jake says with a happy smile, stalking to place down his guitar case. 
Danny laughs and Sam walks in shortly behind them, silent for a moment, appraising the situation before understanding and exclaiming: “To the happy couple!”
Josh groans at his brothers’ smug looks before smiling. She laughs, hiding her head behind Josh’s shoulder in mild embarrassment. Everyone cheers and it feels silly that they ever detested being in the same room as one another. 
During their final performance, Josh waxes eloquent about his wondrous time he’s spent on this very stage. He thanks everyone and then pauses, searching the audience for Y/N. 
“Now this next one goes out to my lover,” He says as he winks. “You know who you are!” 
The crowd goes wild and a softer than usual guitar riff comes in from Jake’s playing. 
“August, honey / Tasted sweeter with you / Sticky fingers / From your own residue,” He sang.
Jake got to kick up the guitar. The three guys even sang the little backing ‘ooh’s into their mics that were rarely used. 
“We don’t talk about it / We don’t have the time / We thought love was something / We weren’t meant to find.”
Josh’s voice is a perfect fit for the cover, she thinks it sounds even better than the original. 
“But don’t you remember / August, honey, you were mine!”
It hurts her heart to realize why her name was ‘August’ in Josh’s phone and not for the asshole-ish reason he had originally told her. Sure, they’d met in August three years ago, that was still true, but she’d also mentioned this song to him. When they’d first been paired up freshman year, he had asked her what the song was that was paused on her phone when he handed it back after typing in his number. Always being scatterbrained, especially at 18, he must have written it over her name…And it was ‘August’. 
-
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chiiri-h · 3 months
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I've seen a lot of posts on how to recognize AI art, but the problem is, a lot of these aren't being made by artists. While many of their tips and tricks for spotting them are useful, they are also often misguided, don't understand digital art, or aren't nearly as applicable as you would think, and actual artists do get caught in the crossfire.
Blurry backgrounds is a great example- This is a fairly common practice in a lot of art. Sometimes artists just don't want to do detailed backgrounds, sometimes we're (myself included) just lazy and don't want to render it out, sometimes its just the look we're going for. A blurry background is more often than not, NOT a good tell for if it's AI. Fake screenshot styles this is especially something really common! Especially with very detailed foregrounds!
Yall really need to look at actual tells for AI art- Does the person posting it have a consistent art style? If its constantly and rapidly changing from post to post, it's probably AI. Do they have an art tag? The vast majority of artists do, either a custom one or just "art" or "my art" or "artists on tumblr", people posting AI shit usually dont, hell they often post it under tags with whatever they used to generate it. The most easy tell is just simply checking someone's profile and seeing WHAT they actually post. Most artists have a few fandoms or themes they generally follow, AI accounts won't.
You really just need to fuckin check before throwing out accusations or without a thought putting it out there it might be AI with little consideration put into actually being correct before it becomes a mobbing on an actual artist. Its mostly newer artists I'm seeing being slammed with AI accusations and small accounts just getting started.
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eirian · 7 months
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made a really long thread abt this on my...furry twitter....but i wanna ramble abt it here too bc i feel more comfortable rambling on a tumblr post lol
basically im having an art style crisis again. i know i know i thought i was over this shit too. but i really have been thinking abt it and im kinda stumped and frustrated
i used to adore having a flowy, shapey, simple cartoony style. yall could probably tell i had a really fun time drawing in that style! but as i tried applying to animation studios and started getting critiques by professionals, i got...super turned off from it. basically someone told me i needed to scrap the entire style, move away from the stephen silver influence completely, and do something totally different if i wanted to land a job and get noticed. and that was when i tried to move away from it into a less cartoony, more detailed art style
it left a bad taste in my mouth i think. i felt like the style that i had so much fun drawing in was tainted somehow, and i shouldnt use it anymore.
dont get me wrong, i love every style i currently draw in! im actually a huge huge fan of my 2015/2016 art style, and it was definitely not as cartoony as the stephen silver-esque style i used for a long time. im kind of usually trying to recreate it nowadays, especially after the critiques.
but that doesnt take away from the fact that the simple cartoony style made me very happy before all this. i had so much fun turning anime characters into saturday morning (western) cartoons. i had so much fun figuring out what shapes fit each character. and i guess i Could still make my current main style more shapey, but it feels...different?
i guess im just sad about it. i miss having so much fun as a simple cartoony artist.
HAVING SAID ALL THIS, i am fully Fully aware that i can have multiple art styles! im the author of that "fuck consistency in art, we ballin" post after all lmfao. but its a matter of what style id like to use Mainly, if that makes sense? i can change it at the drop of a hat, easy, depending on my mood. but i want Some kind of sense of what style i wanna draw at any given time, yknow?
anyway yeah. this post got way longer than my twitter thread but i said what i needed to get out of my brain better lol. advice welcome but no pressure of course
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pathetic-gamer · 3 months
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obligatory 2023 highlight reel 😤
This isn't by interaction metrics, but by how much I like them/how proud of them I am. Also, I tried to pick these to show some range lol
Fics:
Lost and Found - a fun little netteflix romp full of twists and turns and violence :)
Angels in the Architecture - going all the way back to Jan for this one! the angstiest of angsty netteflix
How Terribly Strange - fluff and romance ^-^ mostly netteflix, but some background dimimari!!
Art:
(list first, then the art)
tie between Lyn, emblem of blazing, and Felix, shield's successor - picked these ones for the "inked" art style, which I did quite a few of this year! most of my favorites from the year were actually in this style, but for variety's sake, I'm only including two lol
felix color wheel, i mean, this one is obvious, right? I think it really accurately represents my art style, down to the messy sketchy vibe and the overwhelming amount of Felixes lol
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All-in-all, I think it was a good year for my art/writing, but there's always room to improve! I'll talk about my goals for 2024 below the cut. I'm including these mostly so I can have them clearly stated in one place for the sake of keeping myself on track ^-^
enormous thank you to yall for being so kind and supportive!!! this feels like a silly thing to say when there are like maximum 3 people actually reading this, but I really do appreciate you, my beloved friends and mutuals and all my fellow weirdos who live in my phone ❤️❤️❤️ Happy new year!
okay, sorry for getting sappy - i really do feel a little weird being like "thank you to my loyal fans 😌" LMAO
anyway, my goals for 2024 are mostly quality oriented - I want to spend more time on things in general so I don't feel like I'm just generating stuff for likes. specifically, I want to:
Do more full-color, complete illustration type pieces, setting a tentative goal of five. That doesn't sound like a lot, but I only made one in 2023, because I'm just not patient enough and get intimidated.
practice drawing a wider variety of poses and expressions. enough 3/4 busts/headshots! draw some bodies! draw someone other than felix!!
stay more focused on individual fics/spend more time on each one to keep the quality, style, and tone more consistent.
and, of course, I do want to draw more things for other games than fe3h, especially triangle strategy. I also want to write something for kentlyn (fe7).
We'll see how far I get with literally any of these goals, but my hope is that this post will at the very least keep me on track 🙃
okay that's all, love you bye!!!!
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remix-of-your-guts · 6 months
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i'm gonna be completely honest with yall the ls dunes discourse is so fucking stupid. it's really obvious you are all like sixteen (which i am literally sixteen too so. not inherently a bad thing. but still.) i've waited until shits's died down a little to post this cuz ik ill get hate but i gotta get it off my chest.
i am BEGGING you all to go to a modern art museum or go research performance art pieces or just fucking google fountain by dechamp and PLEASE stop acting like "art" consists entirely of anime-style fanart you see on tiktok. yes this is about the fact that the entire comment section of the posts about the old wounds music video is teenage my chem fans going "ai art isn't real art!!!!! you hate artists!!!!!!!!"
you can not meaningfully define art. art is art if someone says it is. yes that includes ai art you literally sound like the tradwives who whine on twitter about modern/abstract art not being real art. there is no definition of art you can make that excludes AI generated content and includes pieces of undeniable modern art.
now i AGREE that there are some ethical issues with ai art. mainly that the content gathering methods for most generators are iffy. HOWEVER this relies on the assumption that intellectual property is a thing that exists and is important to protect. in an ideal world it shouldn't exist and copyright laws will almost always do more harm than good. however under capitalism there is unfortunately some practical value in protecting the rights to artists' works.
"but xander it's stealing jobs from real artists!!!!!!"
okay. here's the thing. it is true that ai has the potential to reduce the ability of artists to make a living off their art. just like photography took jobs from painters and automation took jobs from factory workers and tractors took jobs from farmers. the issue there is capitalism, NOT individual people not wanting to buy commissions from you.
⚠️side tangent warning⚠️
there's this hugely widespread attitude in young visual artist communities on the internet that you're entitled to attention and commissions and i'm sorry to be mean but you're just. not. i'm sorry but you literally are not that's not how the world works. you ARE allowed to be frustrated that your art doesn't get attention or that no one buys commissions from you. that is a totally valid feeling that i get as well!!!!! i know deeply the pain of posting a piece you're super proud of and spent hours and hours on and getting like three notes! that's a completely valid frustration! but truthfully you do not have the right to guilt trip people for not wanting to reblog your art for whatever reason.
"but how can they expect me to keep making content for free for them if they don't reblog it??!!" then stop making content for them. if they didn't reblog your art then i'm sorry to be mean but they probably will not be bothered if they don't see any art from you again. if people see art that they want on their blog or they think is worth sharing for whatever reason, they will reblog it. there will always be hundred of creators getting loads of praise for there art who will keep making it. and if they scroll past it then it just didn't speak to them like that. begging and pleading and guilt-tripping people to give you attention will not change that. and there will always be many more artists who do not find success on the internet, for whatever reason. it doesn't mean your art is bad though!! art should have intrinsic value to you and if it doesn't then maybe it's not the path for you. if you don't have the internal motivation to keep making art without the attention you're not getting, then stop spending so much time making art. i went through it, i get it. i know the frustration of not feeling appreciated. you know what i did? i stopped posting most of my art. and i stopped caring about notes when i did. i make art because i love it and i can be proud of my art without external validation.
and i promise you that every artist in history knows the pain of not being able to make money off your work. unfortunately under capitalism that's just how art is. it is usually not profitable. the reason you're not getting commissions isn't because the world is full of lazy entitled people who hate artists and would rather use ai than support you, it's because commissions are not something it is reasonable to expect to make much money off of. i hate to speak in capitalist terms but it's not a desired product. most people don't walk around having images in their brain that they want to exist that theyre can't make themself that they're willing to pay people fifty bucks to draw. most people are happy imagining their ocs in their mind or using pictures for their profile pictures.
and most adult, professional, non-terminally-online artists will tell you that unfortunately art has never been profitable for the majority of people. that they don't have much of a problem with AI because they either don't make money off their art already or know that people will keep wanting to buy their paintings or whatever if they want to buy their paintings. that humans will always appreciate human-made art and ai is more of a novelty than something that's going to ruin the lives of all artists and take away opportunities that they never really had. that the ai-animated shows netflix is experimenting with are simply shows that wouldn't exist if netflix didn't have a cheap way to make them, not lost potential jobs for "real artists."
and i do think there's a genuine issue with the way you guys are guilt-tripping every person who scrolls past your art that's going to seriously fuck up anyone with ocd who maybe just doesn't like your art very much!!!!!!! and i think there's something gross about the way you guys are talking about artists as if we're some oppressed minority that's under a wave of hatred and bigoted attacks. as if every single human being isn't an artist in some way. as if there's some targeted hate campaign directed at the tiktok cartoonists who are the only people you think of when you hear the word "artist." and don't get me wrong i think art is more important than anything. i think it's what makes us human. it's everything to me it's my entire life. but i also think you guys have developed a really juvenile attitude about it.
⚠️end of side tangent⚠️
do i think it would have been better if dunes paid a traditional animator to make the old wounds music video? yeah of course. and their bullshit justification about art being meant to make people mad so they're doing something right or whatever is fucking stupid and makes me cringe. but i don't think they've committed the grave unforgivable sin you guys are acting like it is.
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hollow-indigo · 7 months
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How did you do the omori thing? Is there some sort of template?? I've seen some of those and like..is there some template I missed??? Or did yall draw that???
short answer: I traced over a few screenshots and referenced some assets I had found from the web
The long answer will be under the cut (prepare yourself, bc this will be a long post.)
(as well as blood warning (though the blood is purple so-) for the image I will be talking about)
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this is the image in question. pretty detailed and of course pretty accurate (by my standards).
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this is one of the references i used, after cropping out the little top part of the screenshot I simply rescaled the image, and traced over the box for dialogue, the enemy select, Omori’s portrait box, and Kel’s portrait box.
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as you can see, overlaying the two images shows that the boxes are (nearly) pixel perfect.
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secondly, I used this image. now, there’s a LOT in this image and it’ll surprise you that I only used two details in this image. the “party” and “enemy” selections of the image were the ones I referenced. I’m certainly one for perfection, so I used the health bar assets as a reference to make sure my own were depicted as accurately as possible. (though of course, some minor details like the dark bits near the end of an enemy’s health bar were given up on, as you can see I settled for a simple gradient.
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these three images were used to make sure I got the colors of the background of the portraits right for the emotions Cross and Dream were feeling, and I simply traced over the text for “Furious” and “Afraid”
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this was the original background image for the fight. I just scaled it down a LOT to crunch it up to hell and back and tinted it blue for the nice background we see in my art
Extra details!:
I studied the omori art style for a while, especially considering basil in mind, as he’s the only character with a natural lighter hair color, and has pure white hair with a subtle purple gradient in his headspace portraits. being able to see the way his hair is drawn helped me a lot with being able to (try to at least) make Wisteria’s hair look more… omori-like, as my typical art style consists of drawing hair with a lot of swoops. much more than in omori.
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in the original sketch, Dream was “Stressed Out” instead of just “Afraid”. this was changed after looking up on the omori wiki for emotion portraits (since Wisteria is supposed to be portrayed in the “Manic” state in the art) and seeing that being “Stressed Out” actually increases attack and defense somewhere up to 120%. as opposed to just being “Afraid”, which has no effect on your stats, but makes a party member ONLY able to block and calm down. (canonically, Dream was fucking useless in the battle between Wisteria and Cross.)
of course, as I make this post I only NOW realize that the background for “Afraid” and “Stressed Out” are not the same, and Dream currently has the wrong background in his portrait, but if anyone is keen enough to notice that, I think they’ve been looking at my art for too long.
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metaphysical-cheese · 2 years
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I was tagged by @goosemixtapes to post my nine favorite albums! Some of ours are the same but that’s just bc we both have great taste I guess
In no particular order:
Cures What Ails Ya, The Longest Johns: Me when the seas are shantying. This album goes so hard and contains such a variety of vibes while preserving the slappage of all of them. 10/10 would go a-fishing for the whale again
Ceremonials, Florence + The Machine: GOD it was so hard to pick one of hers. I almost put Dance Fever here but I feel like it’s too early to say that yet. I think this album has the highest concentration of my favorite songs of hers so <3
Go Farther In Lightness, Gang of Youths: Okay okay this is my favorite album of all time. It’s not even about the music (though that does go incredibly hard) it’s the way the lyrics so consistently make me feel like I’ve been punched in the gut /pos. I limited myself to one album per artist but major shoutout to Let Me Be Clear also
Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: Literally would not be the person I am today if it were not for my intense obsession with this show, and subsequently War and Peace, for two solid years. Thanks to this album for a major part of my personality.
Strange Trails, Lord Huron: The woods <3 Literally so true besties. I don’t have much clever and intelligent to say about this album except that it goes so so so hard
Ruin, The Amazing Devil: Shoutout to Rook for introducing me to this one. Every song on this album is incredible and I have no idea how they manage to consistently put out the best music on planet Earth.
Wild World, Bastille: I can’t even explain to you what I like so much about Bastille’s music but it scratches an itch in my brain. It’s also vaguely nostalgic, because Bastille was the first artist I decided to listen through their discography. Good decision past me.
Eurus, The Oh Hellos: EVERY SONG IS SO GOOD. Every one no exceptions. I really love the general sound of The Oh Hellos, and this album has a concentration of my favorite things about their style. Also it has one of my favorite album covers ever. The Eurus/Notos/Boreas/Zephyrus art is gorgeous.
Wasteland, Baby!, Hozier: Hozier my BELOVED. This album has such a good vibe to it and I really adore the style of music. I could listen to Hozier forever I think
I’m tagging @narratorstragedy @plague-on-both-your-houses @sofyarostova @silvercatarts if yall want to do it :) or if you want to do it and I didn’t tag you (sorry im tired rn) consider yourself tagged
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buntsukim · 1 year
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that one cashier design again.
you can probably tell, but im trying to make my style more... fitting, for horror art.
sort of like a balance, where the style fits in both horror art and cutesy art. bc im so tired yall. i wanna draw horror 😭
im working on it. so apologies if my art gets inconsistent all of a sudden, thats why. (not like it was that consistent before but... yknow)
also, i rlly like this cashier design. so i was thinking of using it for an au idea i had.
its called "4am horrors" and irs basically like. the gasa4 game gets complwtely destroyed and shit, but somehow cashier manages to move into a horror game (only cashier as of rn but who knows)
and like now its just cashier. in every horror game ever (including non existing ones)
and by that i mean hes not in a specific horror game just... all of them. but at different times though.
so yeah. i dunno if ill do it yet but shrug
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Game Follow-Up
AAAYYYYYYYYYYY SO~ 
It’s been a hot minute but a while back I did a little game where I asked peeps to try and guess what IP inspired me as a child to go from drawing cause it’s fun to drawing almost non-stop like my life depended on it. Link to post as a refresher: https://a03-anxiousandafraid.tumblr.com/post/676274652464758784/game-time
WELL I’M FINALLY WRITING A FOLLOW UP!! This’ll be a bit of a tangent so if you’re curious to know the results and what I’ve learned from this experience please expand and enjoy ⬇
So I was quite surprised by yall’s responses! I had honestly thought someone would guess it first try within the first hour but the fact that that didn’t happen really made me realize how much we as artists don’t necessarily see our stylistic growth and improvements. 
Some guesses included:
Owl House 
Full Metal Alchemist 
Ben 10 
Cartoon Saloon 
Avatar  
90s Disney 
Wild Kratts 
Kim Possible
and my absolute favorite comment from Nendil:  all I can conclude is "It's probably not anime"
So this spread alone had me super surprised! I wasn’t expecting so many western media guesses, but as I reflected on this it actually makes a lot of sense. This pivotal moment in my life where drawing became a consistent hobby happened when I was in the 3th grade, so fairly young. Since then, I’ve gone to college to learn Animation (studying in the U.S.) and am now two months shy of being in the field for 4 years, two of which I spent working in television. 
I had to offer up a hint to get people in the right direction ("I'm legit super honored yall think I have a Western style cause it means college did more for me than I thought it had”) and after said comment I had some people admit they were just guesses off the top of their head rather than based on my linework. (No shade at any of yall or at Eastern styles cause both you and said art is wonderful- I just have a hard time looking at my art and seeing improvement so it’s an hour to know I’ve grown since my middle school anime fanart days). 
SO! WHAT WAS THE IP??? 
It was Naruto. 😂😭😅
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I remember the day it premiered on Toonami. My sibling dragged me from the dinner table to watch this “new cartoon” that was “so different from everything else we watch” and honestly it was the most inspiring thing my angsty 5th grader brain could possibly comprehend. I drew Naruto fanart like my life depended on it. Literally non-stop filled sketchbooks with cringe ninja content and even made my own OC. It was my middle school obsession and even after becoming a closet anime nerd in high school, I would still follow the manga updates online and draw fanart in my sketchbooks when nobody was around to judge me. 
I honestly didn’t think of pursuing animation as a career until my senior year of HS. Shippuden wrapped beginning of my freshman year at college and then I was smack front and center into the world of “you live in the US so you cannot be successful with an ‘anime’ style.” This is obviously some BS but it was said in my ears on repeat for so long that I actively tried to draw differently and that... felt like a disaster. The more I got into my major, the less I drew (ironic). I had two professors (wonderful people) who were from the Disney Traditionalist era that I wanted very badly to impress. The more I learned about animation and how animators draw, the more stress I felt trying to draw anything for fun. My style was changing even without much drawing and for quite a while it was discouraging in the most confusing way possible. 
It’s funny though... drawing now, even after everything, I still see stylistic decisions and linework resembling my pre-college era. If I’m sketching and being quick, it’s really apparent to me in things like the eyes and mouths. So for people to not call that out was intriguing. I’ve been trained to produce media under the western umbrella and YOU clearly see that instead of the deeply rooted cringe origins that taunt me with every stroke. 
It’s fascinating. I still have a long way to go when it comes to digital art (I’m still very clumsy with it and don’t spend enough time learning to render), but yall made me realize I’ve at least come farther than I’ve given myself credit for. And for that, I’m grateful. 
I’ll also be posting art for itcantbe, the winner of this fun experiment, as soon as I stop going overboard with it because I’m having too much fun with her request! :) Thank you to everyone who participated! <3 
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patbwaifs · 10 months
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it's tuesday my dudes
i forgot to take my meds last night and this morning, so i had a headache all day, but it went away as soon as I took my meds tonight. hahhh. Just finished working out a bit too.
this is what my desktop pretty much looks like all the time (sans legal documents)
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I am so so serious about creating a consistent art style so I can make visual novels. My "main goal" right now is to "rewrite" Detroit via visual novel to practice branching gameplay and also rewrite a few scenes and story lines (like Kara and Alice.) Obviously, to recreate the entire game would be nuts. The main thing is to learn how to make visual novels in general, so I'm gonna start with specific scenes and then kinda go out from there.
I also want to write a fanfiction for D:BH. I started drafting it out. The first time is never perfect but I gotta start somewhere with storytelling, and for now, I'm borrowing these characters...
But my art style is pretty obviously going in a certain direction. Ghost in the shell was one of the first anime movies I ever saw (along with Adolescence of Utena. That was definitely an experience) And while I want each of my portraits to look like they "match" I also need to remember that I can still change and vary things up. That's kinda the main reason Markus and North are not 100% complete. The point wasn't to draw a finished portrait of them but to explore and practice a style. I like to think I'll go back once I gain more skill and draw finished portraits of the main D:BH cast.
One thing I really like about using D:BH to practice my art is that there are a variety of different characters to draw, from race to age and beyond.
This styles similarities to realism do throw me off though. I keep wanting to steer into realistic proportions but since it's not my intention from the outset, things get weird fast. Thankfully, I'm a lot better about starting over, reworking sketches and concepts, than I used to be. Before, I would have been tortured to even think about starting over on Amelia's portrait, but now? I want to make a proper portrait of her, in oil pastel. Not in procreate with my illustration tools. (I haven't shown yall my oil pastel rizz yet, hee hee)
On an unrelated note
I talked a bit with my best friend about my headspace around the Decharts' streams (and positive spaces in general) but i was still in oof ouch head hurty mode so I didn't get much out, but she was like "yeah. positivity vibe exposure therapy." I did catch their stream today but it was right when I had to go to the mechanic/dealership.
and boy, is my car a piece of work. I always done knew it too!!! But I need to be more assertive about taking care of it instead of feeling like my Abba is the only one who can decide when things get replaced and when. But i need new tires last week :/
He's throwing a route tonight too. I hope it's all boring and safe.
Gah, i had something else I wanted to talk about but it's escaped me.
Doing things in general has been easier.
I worry about when school starts. I have this gnawing feeling that I need to take a full course load but I know, consciously, that if I do it will end badly.
Although I'm trying to build better self-care habits over the summer so I don't get completely blindsided again. It's just, when I get drowned in a project, it can be hard to pull myself up and do the things I know help me. Like I can't work on my project as well if I don't take the moment to take my medication. gahhhh. but in each moment is eternity, so why would i take an eternity to do something else?
I guess that's my default way of thinking. Maybe that's why things are so intense so often unless I dislodge my brain from the world.
There's something about the Decharts' streams and other thing similar that makes it hard for me to zone out/dissociate/focus on something else/some variation of that. I can't ignore it. And then it's just sensory overload. I think when i feel emotions it's sensory overload first. and then whatever the emotion is second.
I've been trying to let myself feel things about silly android game. As long as it's not guilt. I am trying not feel guilty for liking this game so much. Like what's the use in feeling weird and bad about listening to the soundtrack. gahh the blood is draining from my fingers again.
Speech therapy today went well too.
goodnight yall.
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error707-thatdude · 2 years
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I decided to fuck it and draw the man, the myth, the legend ft. an AI-Ball. Beware for there are spoilers ahead for the game AI: The Somnium Files
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Details and headcanons and stuff under the cut!:
Falco/Hayato Yagyu: Very sharp and pointy shapes for this guy. Falco just looks straight up tired, He's definitely not emotionless but he's not as expressive as Date. His eyes are kinda dull from the whole loosing his faith in humanity thing, but have begun to shine again bc he loves his family very much! Too bad canon storyline happens whoops- man also has a stubble, little Iris absolutely HATED the scratchy feeling but put up with it for her uncle bc she loves him.
Saito Sejima: I hate him and he's scary but he's also very attractive. Always perfectly put together, almost too perfectly in fact, kinda unnerving tbh. This guy is always cold look at all the layers that mf wears. His eyes are so very very dead and dull, though they light up when he feels those little surges of joy: like fireworks and murder :D Can go from 0 to 100 very quickly and very easily, beware. Also I used very round sorta bouncy shapes for him bc why not.
Kaname Date (Saito): Still very round and bouncy! He's messed up Saito's hair though, he can't be bothered to do much with it. Eyes are brighter and much more lively. Date almost grew a stubble like back in his Falco age but Mizuki and Aiba hated it and made their displeasure VERY known so he never did that again. Being in Saito's body he still runs very cold which is why he wears the ridiculous anime hero turtleneck thing. Did not mean for him to look so bright and innocent but the drawing looked so nice I kept it, let's just pretend he's giving Aiba the "I'm but an innocent man who can do no wrong😌" act. Aiba doesn't believe it.
Kaname Date (Falco): Almost instantly throws out all the sweaters in his closet. He loves them, he really does, but his body is a furnace and if he so much as looks at a warm turtleneck he damn near has a heat stroke. His eyes are dimmed bc trauma™ BUT they're noticeably brighter then his old days. He's more expressive, a little more cocky from his newly acquired Date personality. Still pretty dry and dense, what Aiba and Mizuki named a tsundere personality. Date starts growing his hair out since he's so used to Saito's long hair, Mizuki hates the tiny ponytail tho and is tempted to chop it off. He mourns the inch in height he lost after returning to his own body.
Extra: Return of the okunomiyaki war! Now featuring Mizuki and Aiba!
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fuck photorealistic art style all my homies hate photorealistic art style
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antiloreolympus · 2 years
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10 Anti LO Asks
1. im sorry, yall cant tell me RS is some peak of writing when she can't even keep a tone consistent in a single episode. one second its a horrific sequence of violence and abuse for shock value, then the next second theyre making slapstick "jokes" and making goofy expressions. its good to have moments of comedy and lighter episodes to break up the tension, but those tonal whiplashes cant be forced together in nearly every episode. it just gives away rachel doesn't know what she's doing.
2. IDK why RS sounds so angry in her break post? Yeah it's very obvious it was Webtoons making her to do it but them finally showing some care for their creators to not burn out isn't a bad thing? I doubt the writing will improve or the art will go back to its former standard once it comes back, its too late for that now and her former style has been gone since 2019, but having a break isn't a bad idea. I know she isn't used to actually being told what to do by Webtoons is right in this scenario.
From OP: So, from another webtoon creator on twitter, the Remarried Empress creator went on break and only got like 1/10 of their income when they came back. Other webtoon creators were also saying that while on break, their income is basically non-existent. This might not be the reason RS wouldn’t want a break but this is a pretty understandable reason, especially since it’ll affect her livelihood.
3. I don't think an asexually budded kid would have hades lusting after them, i think it would be bad in the fact hades clearly only sees family through biological means. the bad dynamic would be in he wouldnt accept the child because theyre not what he wants because theyre not from him physically. if that wasnt the case he would have doted after young thanatos like a prince since he would be the child he never had, not mistreat and abuse him like how hades actually treated him as a literal child.
4. it should also be pointed out stuff like PJO and Hades game almost entirely get critiqued because they actually implement being diverse and inclusive and even (gasp) have main characters and relationship be BIPOC and LGBTQ+, so it's usually pissy white kids hating on them, meanwhile LO critics are the exact opposite in being overwhelming BIPOC queer women and people calling out its main gross, status quo protecting choices and regrssive ideals. i'm just saying their critiques are not the same.
5. LMAOOOO guys what if the "dread queen" persephone we see isnt actually her, but the asexuality budded heir she makes for hades? like RS just puts all P's negative traits in this kid (Melinoe maybe? she is the goddess of nightmares) and has her be the dread bringer while P gets to stay the uwu precious bean queen, and its just a fake out of her "daughter" being confused for her because theyre clones of each other. the panel stays canon w/o actually developing P. thats my fan theory now.
6. tbh if LO started out with the more simple style there would still be art critique but not to such a degree now. we saw how much effort it used to have, so to see such a stark decline since then opens it up way more to criticism for it, because we do know what it once was, and it seems both pure laziness and burn out has caused it to entirely go away. even rs' non lo art now is all in the more current rushed style, so its safe to say that old style is just not coming back, sorry to say :(
7. i feel like a lot of the stans dont get that a lot of frustration at LO is the fact its a very subpar product, especially now, made by an entitled white woman who constantly whines about "haters" who gets everything handed to her for her mediocre work (which is often the work of her underpaid team), meanwhile many more talented, hardworking, and diverse creators (like her own co-workers) who are making so much better products are left in the dirt. How is that not frustrating?
8. I feel like the anon who likes Thanatos and Minthe being likeable and the anon talking about Persephone never being able to stand up for herself/ never being punished go well together.
Minthe and Thanatos do face consequences for their actions. Hermes doing more souls behind Hades back made Thaantos look worse on paper and Hades chewed his ass out for it. Thanatos went to Helios and was burned. We even see Thanatos get nervous when Daphne talks about a Persephone. He’s aware of his actions and what may happen.
Minthe is also aware of her faults actions etc. after she slaps hades she says she needs to apologize, she knows what she did was wrong to Persephone when she sees it on the camera and freaks out. She even wonders why Persephone hasn’t ratted her out yet until it’s used as black mail. Minthe apologizes to hades right before she knows they’re gonna fight about the break up. She even sulks after her fight with Thetis but doesn’t blame anyone else but herself. I’m excluding when Hades fires her because Hades brought her as an employee first into his life girlfriend second and treated her as disposable and tried to smooth things over by just throwing money at her(I’ll pay for your schooling if you never try to bring up the fact I dumped you for a 19 year old, no hard feelings right?;)
But Persephone the worst she is aware is that she’s bad at her job that she doesn’t even do any more. Persephone is just a cloud in the sky not aware of her own actions but that’s fine since they have no consequences and if there’s almost consequences don’t worry hades will throw money at the problem.
I wouldn’t say Minthe and Thanatos are likeable because they face consequences but they’re more rounded out characters with flaws, power in their narrative, overcoming and hiding faults. 
9. Persephone telling Hades she will explain to him why torturing mortals is wrong and why Elysium is needed is basically "I can fix him" narration. Change my mind
10. That’s it too bc other than Hers and Persephone (which really isn’t a “mentor” relationship and has some rather gross things about it considering Hera only cares about her for Hades’ sake) there’s no genuinely good female relationships of any sort. Daphne and the nymphs are just said “to be like sisters” to Persephone but we see no actual proof of this. There’s no good mother and daughter relationships with Demeter, Métis, Leto, even Hera to her own children. The only decent mother relationship is towards Rhea and her SON Hades. Minthe and Thetis were horribly toxic with Thetis especially taking advantage of Minthe. Artemis and Persephone aren’t friends at all, Persephone is instead closer to a guy who had her kidnapped and basically forced her to admit she was SA’d to him! Hera only likes Echo because she’s “one of the good ones” and it’s a gross repeat of HxP being a boss lusting after their worker, but it’s a #diversity win because it’s between two women? I suppose the only “ok” female relationship is Athena and Hestia, but that also comes with the fact they’re the only confirmed LGBTQ+ rep used to oppress the poor straight couple, are still hyper gendered in their designs, and from Rachel’s own mouth is deeply ace-phobic and a horrible depiction of actual gay relationships. For something claiming to be about women and female empowerment, it fails on every front to even show women as anything other than props for the mens’ consumption and benefit. 
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eirian · 1 year
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while im a firm believer of "art style should be fun and fluid" i also feel like my art style not being consistent is maybe detrimental to my commissions.. @~@;; like, it feels like it maybe confuses people and turns them off?? what do yall think..
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