Tragic Yaoi
Trigger warnings: Mentions of past suicide attempt
Satosugu angst with no happy ending
“Cause when I’m with him I am thinking of you. Thinking of you-”
A groan filled the car and the radio was turned off with a click. Why did everything have to remind Satoru of… No. Don’t think about it. It was better if he didn’t think. It was better if he just numbed his mind with the never-ending highway before him.
This wasn’t even his car, wasn’t even his clothes. He turned his head briefly to the woman beside him. She was blabbing and giggling at him, talking about something he didn’t even care about—some celebrity.
This date wasn’t worth it. This night wasn’t worth it. Nothing was worth it. All Satoru wanted to do was crumble into his bed and sob. But no… it had been two weeks. He needed to get out. The lights across the sky shined in his vision. He couldn’t tell if they were just blurry or if his eyes were watering from his worries.
The cigarette he had been smoking hung from his bottom lip. He didn’t like to smoke. But after everything that happened, he thought he’d give it a try. Just one puff, he said. But now Satoru couldn’t go a day without at least three.
He didn’t know how Shoko could even handle smoking a pack a day. It was toxic. The smoke engulfed the car and he was surprised that girl didn’t seem to care. She was in her own world, right?
He rested his hand on the top of the steering wheel and leaned back. Where was he even going? The GPS was pointing him to go … back to her place. Of course. It was a meaningless dinner with meaningless sex afterward.
“Satoru?” She asked after a moment when everything fell silent, putting her hand on his leg. His eyes snapped to hers and briefly, he saw the humanity in her eyes.
She was a girl who didn’t know about his life and he didn’t know about hers. He’d ghost her and they’d go their separate ways. It was shitty but it was how the world worked.
How could he do that to someone when it was done to him?
“Suguru! Just… Stay. Stay for me. Please… I’ll do anything to get you to sta-”
“What,” he asked blankly, putting his other hand overtop hers. For a second the girl thought he was going to be sweet, but instead, he led her hand back to her lap and put his on the steering wheel.
“Are you even listening to me? The story was just getting good!” She complained, leaning her head against the window of the passenger side of the car.
A sigh escaped his lips and he used his free hand to take the cigarette from his mouth. He was no better than someone who killed regular people, was he? Using women for their bodies and leaving them as soon as he felt like a person for even half a second. Then he’d repeat the cycle and hope for one godforsaken second he’d be okay.
But Satoru would never be okay, would he? This would continue and continue until he’d have the balls to end it all like he was going to that night.
“I was listening,” he muttered, pressing the cigarette into his open mouth and inhaling the sludge-tasting smoke. It was like pure oil going back into his throat and coating his insides in tar.
“Really? Then what did I say? See! My friend was right. You’re just an ass. You didn’t even pay for the meal, we had to split it. What kind of guy makes a girl pay on a first date?” The woman began, reprimanding him as if he wasn’t the one driving her fancy car because she insisted it would be romantic.
As if he wasn’t Satoru Gojo… the strongest.
Satoru Gojo… The strongest, who couldn’t even get over the fact the love of his life had walked away just like that. And he let him.
He sat there in silence as she kept digging deeper. Hitting every nail in every spot until his coffin was sealed and buried five feet under. Then she kept going. Deeper and deeper. Going at his appearance, his height, his face, the way he wasn’t even interested. She knew what she was getting into and yet she still chose this date. And still chose to yell at him.
“God will you-” Satoru began, swerving the car into the farmost right lane and stopping on the side of the highway. The woman gasped and grabbed onto the side of her car, calling him crazy and insane as he did so, “-Shut up!? You’re fucking… useless!” He yelled, slamming his left hand into the horn. It blared a few times as he continued to hit it.
The strongest can’t get over his best friend.
“You won’t shut up! You won’t fucking shut up! What the hell do you want? A gold fucking star for annoying the hell out of me!?”
She stared at him with hollowed eyes as he kept going. All of his anger, about everything, just came out.
“I hate you! Why the fuck do you shit at me when all I’ve done is be nice to you!? I’m sorry! Okay!? I’m sorry that I don't care about your shitty life because… because… I hate you! Just, leave me alone! I’m sick and I’m tired. I haven’t eaten. I haven’t slept,” his blue eyes bore into her soul as he screamed, “in three fucking weeks! I see him everywhere I fucking turn! You think this is easy? Being the strongest? You think this is easy? Being the one who has to deal with all this shit!? You think… you think it’s easy being the one who has to watch as everyone around me dies and I’m left sitting next to some slut who doesn’t wanna pay for fucking dinner!?”
For a moment, instead of that woman, he was transported. It was a busy street and he could see his best friend's face. It was devoid of color and emotion. He was so close yet so far. One move and he would shatter the beautiful glass sculpture in front of him and there would be nothing left. Nothing left of the remnants of his happiness. He was completely and utterly alone.
The strongest was alone.
“Why… why did he have to leave… what did I do? What the-” he hit the horn again, ‘-fuck did I do to deserve this shit!? What the fuck did I do to have to watch him leave!? Every day, I see him in my room and I reach out, and he fucking leaves…” Satoru’s voice cracked.
The world around him was getting blurry. Was it from the fact his cigarette was blaring smoke in his eyes or the fact he was crying? Was it from the fact that the lights along the highway were bright or the fact he was sobbing?
“Satoru…” The girl whispered, shattering his vision of Suguru and bringing him back to reality. This wasn’t about her, was it? It was never about her. And she knew it. His anger, his screaming, and his crying.
The mourning of a relationship wouldn’t ever be an easy one and she could tell. Even being a dick herself she had basic empathy. A hand rested on his shoulder, trailing to his back to rub a small circle on it.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry…” She cooed as he gasped, resting his head down against the steering wheel.
“I… I want to die. Why the fuck can’t he come back?” He cried. Satoru’s circular sunglasses broke from his face and fell into his lap. His body shook as another loud sob escaped him.
Mourning a relationship hurt as much as it did to be sad. In the cavern known as his chest, he felt a pounding and squeezing feeling. It was sadness. He was dying from a broken heart. He gasped and coughed, choking out another strangled cry. The tears stung against his under eyes and he truly thought this was the end.
It hurt more than that day. Because that day was replaying, over, and over, and over, and over again in his head. He could see Suguru walking. He could see how hurt he was to leave and he saw himself do nothing.
Why didn’t he do anything!? Why didn’t he move!? Why couldn’t he move!? Why the hell didn’t he move!?
There isn’t a happy ending to this. Not in this lifetime. In this universe, Satoru Gojo was destined to watch his life fall apart every time he closed his eyes.
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Kiss of the Snake! Chapter 1
Alexander Boudreaux, had been through hell and back. On the run from his past, as the Black Mamba, he heads to South Korea where he stays in the same apartment complex as his three half brothers. Life is going to be a lot different and possibly more interesting.
(Trigger Warning: Cussing. I own nothing, but my OC's. Respective characters belong to their creators.)
The wind felt cool in the evening. Running along the rooftops gave the uttermost freedom as if he was a bird. His black tennis shoes slammed against the cemented roofs as he ran toward the edge of the building he was on. As he got the edge, he jumped fearlessly, his heart pumping wildly as he landed on his feet, pushing himself into a roll to disperse the force of the impact. He could feel his long black hair begin to stick to his sweat covered forehead, reaching up he pushed back his black hood and wiped the sweat away. Dark brown eyes looked up scanning the star littered sky, eventually landing upon the large moon in the distance.
The silence was disturbed by the sound of a chiming coming from his back pocket. Reaching behind, he pulled out his phone and read the name upon it,
Lady Hacker
Letting out a soft huff, he quickly answered it, placing his phone near his ears,” Yes, my dear Lady Hacker?”
“I hate you for that nickname, Alexander Boudreaux. Shouldn’t you be home resting after all, don't you start your new school tomorrow.” She replied with a huff.
Alexander quietly snickered quietly as he replied, a grins splitting his face, “Aw. Come on Tsu, it's not a bad nickname.”
“Don’t even go there, you asshole. Anyway, how's Korea treating you? I know it’s different from the US,” Tsu asked with a slight hum as he heard her typing away.
“That’s an understatement, it is majorly different. How’s life in Tokyo? Still the same or did you finally find a man that can get past your background checks?” Alexander replied with a teasing tone.
He could hear the Japanese woman scoff into the phone as she replied, “You are an ass, Alexander. And to answer your question I don’t need no man!”
Alexander let out a bark of laughter before he turned to the right, instantly on alert when he heard the sound of a knob being turned, “I gotta go. Trouble brewing.”
He quickly hung up the phone before turning to the left, Alexander began to pick up speed as reached the edge of the building and jumped, quickly grabbing the edge of the building. Alexander slowly began to climb down, making sure that he had a good grip on the edges as he descended downwards. As soon as his feet hit the ground, Alexander took off his hood as he quickly made his way down the street until he came upon what appeared to be a twenty four hour store. Humming to himself, Alexander walked over to the door, entering it happily, however, that soon faded when he heard the sound of sniffling. A frown pulled at his lips as he turned to the source of the sniffling, a light of anger ignited inside of him as he noticed that the chubby clerk was seemingly getting up off the ground.
“Holy shit, man! What the hell happened to you!?” Alexander exclaimed as he quickly rushed over to the black haired male.
Alexander jumped the counter, reaching out to him and began to gently help him get his clothes together.
“T-Thank you,” He muttered meekly as he finished buttoning up his pants.
“No problem. Let me find something cold to help with that swelling and you can tell me who the fuck did this to you.” Alexander replied as he rushed around the store and found something cold before returning to the black haired male. As he placed the cold item on his face he continued to say,” I’m going to find them and beat the shit out of them.”
“Y-You don’t have to do that. I’m kind of used to it,” He said softly, as he winced slightly as the cold touched his swollen face.
“Used to it? The hell! You shouldn’t get used to it!” Alexander exclaimed, his voice filled with worry and anger.His anger seemed to surprise the clerk, which caused him to become concerned, and so he continued, “Sorry my anger tends to come out when I hear about bullies.”
“N-No that’s not it. I am…” The clerk started to say, but trailed off looking down at the ground sadly. Alexander frowned before he spoke up,” Alexander Boudreaux.”
This caused the clerk to snap his head back up at him with a look of confusion causing him to grin a bit,” That is my name. What’s yours?”
“D-Daniel Park,” He responded back, causing Alexander to grin happily,” Nice to meet you! Wanna be my friend?”
“S-Sure!” Daniel replied as Alexander grinned brightly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and handed it to him. “Here place your number in here and we can talk to each other. I gotta be at Jae Won High School tomorrow for class-”
“Oh! I-I have a friend that goes there his name is also Daniel. He can help show you around!” Daniel exclaimed happily despite the fact that his face was still swollen as he typed in his number on his phone.
Alexander grinned happily, as Daniel handed him back his phone, as he replied,” Sweet! Hopefully I am in the same class as him,” He then glanced at the time on his phone and flinched slightly before looking back at Daniel,” I have to go. Will you be alright by yourself?”
Daniel smiled at him as he replied,” Yep! I’ll be okay! Thank you, Alexander, for the help!”
Alexander grinned as he bid his new friend a good night, he began to make his way home. Eventually, arriving at a fancy apartment complex, he stared up at it with a huff as he entered the building. Despite the fancy decor, Alexander wasn’t fond of it, but put up with it since his three half - brothers lived within the same building along with their respective partners. He walked down the small hallway that was past the front desk, stopping in front of the elevator door and pressed the up button. He watched as it lit up, and the numbers above the elevator began to change from floor eight to floor one.
As soon as he heard the ding of the elevator, the doors opened allowing him to enter, as he turned around and pressed the number eight on the panel. Alexander leaned back against the back of the elevator as he felt it begin to lift him to the top floor, as he arrived, he stepped out as the doors opened walking down the hallway. Alexander eventually came to stop at apartment eight fifteen, as he reached into his pocket to pull out his key, the door suddenly swung open revealing his seven foot five older brother. Before Alexander could say anything he was instantly swept up into a large bear hug.
“Welcome home, darling brother,” He exclaimed happily with a bright grin.
Alexander let out a playful groan as he shuffled his arms free and began to push on his brother’s face and said,” Let me go you giant gorilla! You are killing me!”
“Who are you calling a giant gorilla!?” He exclaimed in a mock hurt as he put him down onto the ground.
“Cain! Will you let Alexander come inside and see his new apartment!” a familiar male voice huffed out.
Alexander grinned as he called out,” Kyungjoon! Your husband is bullying me!”
He watched as Cain’s mouth dropped open, as his golden eyes narrowed in playful anger, as he quickly rebutted the claim by exclaiming,” Lies! Blasphemy!”
“Knowing you, Cain, I wouldn’t be at all surprised,” A smooth male voice chimed in, as a pale hand was placed upon Cain’s large bicep and pushed to the side.
Alexander smiled a bit as his eyes were met with the dark eyes as he replied,” Geum-Hoo, it’s nice to see you again. How was your honeymoon with Beom?” Alexander walked over to the man and pulled him into a hug, leaning down since he was much shorter compared to his six foot eleven frame. As they pulled away from each other he let out a bark of laughter as he could see his brother Boem standing behind Geum-Hoo, pulling him into his bulky frame.
Geum-Hoo let out a soft sigh as he replied back to Alexander’s question,” It was wonderful, Alexander. Beom, aren’t you going to give your brother a hug?”
Alexander watched the brunette seemingly think about it before he just let out a huff and walked over to the two and pulled them into a bear hug, making sure not to squeeze Geum-Hoo despite knowing that he could handle his strength. Just as Alexander released them he could hear the sounds of footsteps and turned to face the sounds when he noticed three other faces.
“Glad you are finally here, Alexander,” Kyoungjoon cooed out as he ran over and hugged him.
“Yes it’s good to see you. I hope you aren’t stirring up too much trouble on your second day here in Korea,” The silvered haired male spoke with a small teasing grin.
Alexander stuck out his tongue at them before he replied back,” The one getting into trouble would be you Seth. Theo, how have you been? Heard you took over your mom’s position as CEO of Peserus Inc.”
He watched the violet eyed male smile slightly as Alexander gave him a short hug, as he released Theo, he watched as he fixed his dark brown hair into it’s normal style. “I am glad to see that you are well informed. It is nice that you are here, brother.”
“Alright! Shall we go eat? Everyone is here now,” Kyoungjoon said, however, his blue eyes instantly snapped over to where Cain was standing before he continued speaking,” Cain! Close the door!”
Alexander snickered, before he said,” I got it. Ya’ll go ahead and go sit down.”
Alexander watched as his brother’s rolled their eyes before gently leading their partners into the large dining room of his home. As he closed the door he couldn’t help, but think, that his time here would be a good one. After all, he made a friend, and he hoped to make more within the year and he could leave his past behind.
(Hope you enjoy it!)
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